Some of us are just born with brains and beauty... and some of us lack in one or more of those departments. That is just how the brain cells crumble. There really are people running around without common sense or logic that God gave a goose. And what is most frightening? Some of these people are in political positions of power. Now, you know we've all personally come across a person or six that left us shook by a few things that fell out of their mouths. Let's compare notes.
Redditor u/your_neighbor420 wanted to hear from everyone about certain people in their lives that may be missing a few marbles by asking... People of reddit, who was the dumbest person you met?After working in the food service and hospitality industry I can tell you, humanity is in trouble kids. I'm not trying to be mean, but some of the actions I've witnessed, and some of the conversations I eavesdropped on left me stunned. Stunned is the purest way to describe it. Like, how do some people survive everyday without a care giver? Let's discuss...
Stop Typing
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I know a woman who bragged on Facebook that she scored 84 on her IQ test.... She thought it was out of 100. 🙄.
For the Jordans
A customer who thought he should be able to get the Jordan Bred 11s for 90% off because of 2 "coupons" he had. One of these coupons was a print out of a 70% off clearance promotion from Nike's website and the other was a 20% off coupon from Payless that expired in 2017. I've never been more confused, frustrated, and exasperated than I was during the 10 minute interaction where myself, two managers and a customer tried to explain to this man why this wasn't going to happen.
Numbers are Hard
I was put in charge of training a girl at a coffee shop I worked at. She didn't know how to make coffee, I literally had to tell her "ok, now pour the coffee in until it reaches this line, no, pour it slower don't dump the whole pot over the cup." When trying to train her on register I don't know if she couldn't or just refused to count.
A total would be $5.98 and she'd tell the person it was $6, when people gave her anything but bills she'd stare at the change and ask me how much that was or she'd say "that's $2 right?" And there'd be like 50¢ on the counter in dimes and pennies. I tried training her on sandwich station, she would pack the food frozen into the bags and just hand it out. On her breaks I'd have to constantly remind her that 15 minutes means 15 minutes, not 20, not 30, not an hour.
We were allowed to have food at work for free within reason and only in the back. She would reach into the pastry case with her bare hand, pick up an item and just eat it at register or right next to the case. There was a lot more she'd do wrong and it got to the point where I thought she was trying to purposefully get fired.
No Day But Today
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A girl who agreed on time changes but disagreed I was talking to her on my Sunday when it was her Saturday. I lived in Australia at the time.
Damn Pennies!
During college I worked at a 7/11 for a few months and one time had to train a girl to use the register and she didn't know how to count coins. She had to give someone change and she turns to me and asks me what coins and how many of them make 43 cents or whatever the amount was and both the customer and I were speechless.
All I can do is shake my head and pray. Half of those aren't even that shocking. To be fair, math can be a stumbling block for many of us. In this day and age basic change can be an issue with younger generations as coins become obsolete, thanks to the power of plastic. That is a big part of the problem... the lack of basic life educations disappearing. Let's keep reading...
Hey Pearl...
We were in history class, taking a pop quiz. one of the questions was "where is pearl harbor?" someone raised their hand and asked "who is pearl harbor? and why would I know where he is?"
It's me. I had trouble focusing in school and thought pearl harbor was a person.
Headlines
My first girlfriend, about 20 years, I showed her one of those newspapers at the time that had made up stories about alien abductions etc, Weekly World News I think it was. One of the headlines was "Belgium Destroyed By Giant Asteroid And No One Noticed For 2 Months" and she thought it was real. Thing was she wasn't actually dumb, just really innocent and naive.
Flipper Love
Ex-girlfriend. I once said out loud "I wonder how dolphins have sex?" She said, with conviction "There aren't boy dolphins and girl dolphins. They're just dolphins." You know, like magical.
And she argues with me for about 2 hours.
You Are Where?
For months, I've been dealing with a client who doesn't get their bills.
Every month, they call and ask where it is, we confirm their address and the expected arrival date, I manually generate a new invoice, and e-mail it over.
Today, when confirming the address for like the 6th time, they said "oh, no, that's not my town or zip" and submitted an address change.
How the hell do you not know where you live?
Bless Her...
Confused Threes Company GIF by MOODMAN
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My ex-gf thought rhinoceroses were dinosaurs. Then, we were watching King Kong and toward the end of the movie she asked if it was based on a true story.
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Negatives
Worked at a bank for a (blessedly) short time. Had a 60 year old woman that asked, "What do you mean my account balance is negative?? I still have checks, so I still have money!"
I'd be willing to bet that she went around trying to write the largest checks possible in order to maximize the value per check.
Madame Cleo?
Had a friend in HS that could predict rain by looking at the stars... if the big dipper was upside down "the water would pour out and it would rain tomorrow" She was 17.
I too can predict rain by looking at the stars, if I can't see any stars its probably either going to rain or already raining.
Special Dumb
Holy crap, I'm ready...
Let me tell you about this woman that my uncle dated for a while. She was really a special kind of dumb. I'm just gonna go ahead and list the top 3 that I can remember, but I'm sure there's more. These were all relayed to me years later as I wasn't around at the time. It's a running joke between some family members.
- Thought pork chops came from horses.
- Met a guy who had lost a portion of his ear in some kind of accident. Upon meeting she just asked him with no class at all: "Hey, what happened to your ear?" His response: "I turned my head too fast and bit my earlobe off." She was totally cool with that answer.
- Went grocery shopping and assumed that whatever number of chicken legs came in a pack was how many legs that chicken must have had.
There was also something to do with a moose, but I can't remember the specifics on that.
Look Up
A girl in my class in high school asked the teacher where the sky was. Like she genuinely had no idea and when we tried to explain to her that the sky was above us outside she was like "no that's the ceiling".
"WE can now mine all the helium we need from the unsuspecting moon."
"Sun, sir."
"At night it's called the moon!"
"No like SUPER thick glasses."
In fourth grade we had a motivational speaker come in and talk to us who was completely blind since birth. At the end they had time for questions and a girl asked why they didn't just wear super thick glasses. When the person replied that they cannot see ANYTHING, so there would be nothing to magnify, the girl said "No like SUPER thick glasses." We were only in fourth grade but we all were looking at her like holy shit how do you not get this. The blind dude just shook his head.
Let's Mooo
A friend's partner said she was vegan. Another friend jokingly said 'you're not vegan, you eat corn on the cob, which is actually the spine of a cow'. Aforementioned friend's partner started crying about how much she loved eating cow spine and was really upset, genuine tears of sorrow at how she wasn't a vegan at all.
From that day forth, corn was known as Cow spine on the cob and their relationship didn't last for too long, probably a week after she asked why Mel Gibson didn't just phone the English King to negotiate in Braveheart...
Uncle Says
Uncle telling us about a guy he worked with. Guy buys a nice, new car. Car comes with cruise control and built in GPS. Guy wrecks new car. Apparently he typed in an address and set the cruise control. He thought that he didn't have to drive after setting in where he wanted to go, the car would just take him where he wanted to go.
Falling Down
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I worked a security post with a guy who didn't understand the concept of gravity. I thought he was joking at first, but he was serious. To be fair to him, he did pick it up pretty quick when I taught him.
the light...
True story. Kid in my neighborhood. Someone must have told him that if he shone a flashlight in one ear, light would come out the other ear. He didn't know i was looking. He held a flashlight to one ear and his open palm at the other. He turned on the light and tried to turn his head real fast to see his palm. He did this several times. Never caught the light. I was in awe at his stupidity.
Human race? You in danger girl. Yes some people are just... "special." And that can be just as endearing as it is dangerous. I guess it depends on the person or the situation. Let's just try to not give any of these people the nuclear codes. Ok?
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There have been a few vixens I've saved some men folk from. But it wasn't easy. And sadly, straight, cis men never seem to learn. Be aware boys, black widow is not just a movie title.
How are You?
kim kardashian GIF by KUWTKGiphy"Does she ever ask you how you're doing (more than superficially), or seem interested in what's going on with your life?"
Needs
"Pretty much the same as when any person is just using you -- the relationship feels unbalanced and unequal, with you giving more than you are receiving. In a good relationship, friendship, whatever, both people are giving what they want to give without coercion and both feel adequately rewarded for it."
"Sometimes one person needs more, sometimes the other, but it evens out over time. When you feel like you're being coerced into giving more than you really want, whether that's with force or emotional manipulation or whatever, you're being used and you'll eventually resent it."
- munkymu
Off-Character
"Anytime you try opening up, you're acting off-character, selfish, an @ss, etc. it's usually the typical pathetic manipulation people pull to make you feel bad for either standing up for yourself or just trying to be you."
"I guess this behavior depends on how far into the relationship you are with those types of people. For instance, in several of my own interactions with people that eventually ended up using me, they were very keen on making me feel comfortable opening up and being vulnerable to establish that kind of connection and desire for more of it. Then, much later on when I was sufficiently hooked did they start with the negative reactions and manipulation."
Amen
"Your issues aren't worth talking about, but she will unload all of hers on you."
"Amen. Got out of a long relationship that turned into this just 6 months ago. Would sit and moan, whinge and kick off about the most infinitesimal things for hours but when even serious issues came up in my life like my brother attempting suicide, her response was "well he's an a**ehole anyway."
The Cycle
femme fatale smoking GIFGiphy"She doesn't act that interested when you are interested, flirting, contacting her, but when you stop, suddenly she is very interested and contacts you, a lot until you act interested again, the cycle then repeats."
See there? It's all very subtle. And this not to say men aren't just as bad. But we're focusing here for a certain purpose. Let's siphon out the ladies who have ill intent.
Single Side
fat honey boo boo GIFGiphy"One-sidedness. When she expects you to do things that she wouldn't do herself."
Blood Suckers
"Energy vampires. You should look that up, but basically selfish people that only care about themselves will unload all their emotions and problems onto you to feel better, but will never ever reciprocate because they feel their issues are important and don't view yours as important. It's about them and never about you, unless it affects them."
- Mugen593
"I was super into a girl that I worked with and we would hang out all the time after work. However, I was never getting anywhere with her. I know I had made my intentions clear and she never told me it would never happen...but just kept the possibility of it happening open. I eventually saw the writing on the wall and moved on and met my wife. I tell you, the second I stopped pursuing her and started acting like just a friend."
"She flipped on a dime and started laying it on strong. I would like to think that I was smart enough to not fall it. The reality is I was so smitten with my wife that I don't think anything could have made me notice another girl. If I had moved on to anybody else besides my wife I probably would have fallen for it all over again."
- Ashotep
I Hate Tangerines
"I was "dating" a girl who said she was too busy to go on a date on Saturday, and that she was only free on Tuesdays. She also said that she wanted to date other guys while dating me. She later admitted that she was cycling boyfriends through the week for free food. I dropped her like a bag of moldy tangerines."
Dinner?
Episode 1 Food GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy"She never calls you by your name and you find out you're labeled "free food" in her phone."
Sometimes... they're just not that into you. And life will go on. Skip any and all drama. And know your worth. BAM. Lesson learned.
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What's on the menu? What are the specials? What's popular? What's your favorite item?Tell me everything.
Back when I was in hospitality, these are part of the litany of questions I would get from visitors to our country. It became a bit irritating. I should've made a sign with "Regular FAQs."
I didn't have a lot of answers, due to the fact that I find American food pretty run of the mill. I'm going have to be schooled on what is considered extra yummy only in the states.
Although I must admit, the shoe definitely swaps feet when I travel. Tell me everything. The rest of the world is far more compelling with their menus.
Redditor u/Well_shi__-_- wanted to discuss what menu items we all need to discuss by asking:
What common foods in your country are considered delicacies by foreigners?
The closest "delicacy" for America I can come up with is pizza. Right? But only in NYC. And bagels, but only in NYC. Maybe alligator in Florida? And oranges, but only in Florida. Were very centralized here aren't we?
Berry Way
Thanks Strawberry GIF by DriscollsBerryGiphy"Goji berries. We put that stuff in our soups and many people pick that out when they drink the soup."
- eienblue
Essentials
"(good) Olive oil."
"Weirdly enough, Costco's house brand, Kirkland, is supposed to be some of the best, non-adulterated olive oil available in the States. I would look for a source on this, but I'm stoned."
"Kirkland California Extra Virgin Olive Oil is white label Cobram Estates, which is the California grown product of the Australian olive oil company, Boundary Bend. They have an unimpeachable reputation for quality and win many awards!"
baby fish
"It was supposed to be caviar, but now it's also unaffordable for us. cries in Russian."
"I used to eat caviar all the time as a cheap snack growing up moderately poor (Romanian). I was stunned to find out it's a delicacy."
"I was thinking caviar in Iran, but I don't know if it's true still. A lot of sturgeon species in Eurasia are endangered from overfishing and habitat destruction."
In the Forest
"Hmm, forest berries perhaps. I live in Finland. We have a lot of forests, so lot of berries such as blueberries and lingonberries. Everyman's Rights mean that you can just go and pick as much as you can find. It's kinda one of those things where if you live near any forested area, and are willing to spent time there come late summer, you'll probably have enough to last until next year in your freezer."
"We have so much berries that people from poorer countries (Thailand is a common one for some reason) are hired to pick them up, because doing berrypicking enough to actually profit monetarily is heavy work. And apparently the pay isn't worth it for most Finns. At the same time, forest berries are considered a superfood around the world, very healthy and trendy. Dunno about actual delicacy status, but definitely a difference in how we think about them."
The Little Lamb
baby lamb GIF by The DodoGiphy"I worked for a charity in Iraq for a year and we'd buy a dozen lamb chops for the equivalent of $5. That's like $60 to buy in the US and it's worse quality."
Ok, now that is what I call a menu. And I actually had a few of these items on my list when I heard the question. Only in Italy can you find true oil. And caviar? Guess I'm flying to Russia. Knock, knock Vlad. LOL
Aloha!
spam GIFGiphy"Hawaii has somehow turned spam into a sought after food, especially by visitors from Japan."
Shroomed...
"I would add mushrooms for Finland. Especially porcinis (herkkutatti), chanterelles (kantarelli) and C. tubaeformis (suppilovahvero) are incredible food mushrooms which are sought after e.g. in Italy. We can just go pick them in the forest thanks to our "jokamiehenoikeus", every man's right, which allows anyone to pick mushrooms and berries etc. on public land such as state-owned forests."
- Resumme
When in Mexico...
"Avocados here in Mexico, pretty common and cheap."
"I spent 3 months in your wonderful country 10 years ago and I still am disappointed when I eat an avocado or a mango here. "It´s just not like the ones in Mexico."
"Yea I always thought papaya was disgusting and tasted like pee warm beer until I ate one in Mexico. I can never get that real taste out of my mind."
Spain Eats
"Jamón Serrano, here in Spain is really common and you can find very good product for a very affordable price."
"We are going to Madrid this fall and my husband has already informed me that he plans to eat his weight in Jamón Iberico. We used to get slivers of it from a Spanish importer near our old house for crazy money."
Truth Hurts
british crown GIFGiphy"Englishman here, been scrolling for sooooo long to find my country..."
"Maybe some stereotypes are true."
Spam? Just, no. And I will say, I think the English are in the same boat as the good ole US of A. Empty food treasures. I've been to London... the supermarket sandwiches were good and you can drink in the streets. I guess you make up where you can.
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