Old wives tales, urban legends, conspiracy theories, and that whole thing about your school being built on a graveyard or there being a pool on the roof - those are all myths. Our personal favorite thing about myths is that they can be absolutely bonkers and some people will still just roll with it.
It kind of shows the power of even a mediocre story in the hands of a great storyteller.
One reddit user asked:
Fam ... the stuff some people believe. Whales control the weather???
OK listen, if we focused on how people actually believe this and what it says about hope for humanity, we would be really really bummed. Like really. Really.
But, we're not going to do that. Instead, we are choosing to call this a celebration of the power of storytelling. Yup. That's what we're doing. Celebrating storytelling. Excellent, excellent storytelling.
That's Not How It Works
My mother in law got mad at me for reaching up high to grab something while pregnant because, "That'll wrap the umbilical cord around the baby's neck!"
I told her that no part of my anatomy directly connects my arms to the inside of my placenta. She didn't believe me so I googled to show her it's an old wives tale. She got upset and cried. :/
Sweet lady but damn. Use some common sense.
When I had cancer a few years back and was doing chemotherapy I had people who constantly questioned that I actually "had cancer" due to the fact that my hair didn't fall out until I was actually in remission (Had been off chemo for about 2-3 weeks when my hair started gradually thinning and falling out).
It's a complete myth that every single person's hair will have the same reaction to chemo. Some people lose hair right away, some don't. Everybody is different.
Journey Through The Center Of The EarthGiphy
Had a cab driver insisting that the reactor meltdown at Fukushima was a failed Chinese attack on the US. The plan was to superheat the rods so they'd burn into the ground, through the center of the Earth, and come out in America and irradiate it.
The antipode (exact opposite side of the planet) of Fukushima is nowhere near the US... it's several hundred miles east off the coast of Uruguay/Argentina.
I think for that one you would have to have no idea that China and Japan are two different countries ... and that they are not allies.
That this pandemic comes from 5G.
It's so dumb, that 5G conspiracy isn't even new, just repackaged. Of course, they avoid the fact that there are confirmed cases in areas without 5G towers.
My neighbor doesn't believe the virus comes from 5G. Oh no he's smarter then that. He believes the virus is just a cover up for the deadly rays of 5G itself. He was like "birds kept dying in countries with 5G coverage!"
Fan Blades Of Doom
Definitely the Korean urban myth that sleeping with a fan on will kill you. I've heard it explained as the blades chopping up the air creating gaps so that you suffocate in your sleep.
I think it's a prevalent thing in all of Asia. I remember visiting Vietnam as a kid and having my aunts fan me to sleep, afraid of killing me if they used an electric fan lol. Read somewhere that it's actually a myth used to explain away SIDS and suicides.
A kid I knew in high school actually believed and tried to convince others that the mentally handicapped were actually professional actors, and they were there to "keep the human race from feeling perfect."
Does he also scream crisis actors?
Speaking Of Paid Actors...
Australia isn't real.
It was made up by the British to kill a ton of people and all the people who are from there are paid actors.
If I'm a paid actor I would like to find out when I'm getting my money.
Full On Wakanda
It's dumb, and I know it's not true, but my favorite conspiracy theory is that North Korea is actually a paradise and everything we hear about it is propaganda. All the claims from NK are genuine, and everything else is trying to discredit them so people everywhere else in the world don't get upset knowing that such a level of perfection as NK is attainable.
Full on Wakanda, with advanced hologram technology shrouding the country and fake decrepit cities set up for tourists.
Coal For Your Health
My stepmother told me once that her grandfather was convinced for some reason that charcoal was really healthy for kids and whenever he made toast for them he'd keep pushing it back down into the toaster until it was solid black and force them to eat it because he thought it was good for them.
Ironically, burnt food is carcinogenic. So, actually kinda bad for you.
Activated charcoal is a filtering agent, and can bond to impurities such as bacteria or heavy metal. If you ingest something toxic, in some cases it can be beneficial to immediately follow up with some activated charcoal so that body doesn't absorb the full brunt of whatever you swallowed; in any case you should ALWAYS contact poison control FIRST in the event of a suspected poisoning, because activated charcoal won't always be helpful and in numerous circumstances there are other crucial steps to avoid something terrible.
LASTLY, while incredibly useful under specific conditions, a person should not be taking activated charcoal regularly like some kind of vitamin; remember how I said the carbon bonds to impurities? That can include essential micronutrients and good gut bacteria. So avoid taking it unless you have a reason, or on the recommendation of a physician.
Whales ... Just WhalesGiphy
Whales control the weather and are currently causing global warming.
Because apparently their movements affect ocean currents or air currents(?) or I don't even know what. I wish I were making this up.
This is nuts. Everyone knows that whales only help us communicate with alien satellites. C'mon people.
Oh makes sense because blow holes blow water into the sky and that's how rain gets up there.
A guy tried to convince me that Earth's oceans are only salty because male whales ejaculate so much sperm that doesn't end up in a female whales vagina and that has "salted" the oceans over time. I tried to explain to him that a) That is ridiculous and you cannot imagine the amount of ejaculations that would have to occur in order to make that happen and b) Where do whales manage to get all of that salt? He was adamant that I was wrong and he was right. This guy is at least 25 years old.
No, the probe is controlling the weather because it can't talk to the whales.
You believe in whales?
Einstein Didn't Fail
The whole "even Einstein failed math" myth.
The confusion likely comes from the grading system, but this myth has been around for a long time and used as some sort of motivation idea by many.
When he was shown a clipping from Ripley's Believe It or Not, where that myth gained popularity, he responded, "I never failed in mathematics. Before I was 15 I had mastered differential and integral calculus"
I recently encountered a woman who tried to convince me that black people are somehow immune to this pandemic. I've been told that this was a relatively commonly held misconception just around a month ago, but I hadn't heard it before, so I was baffled.
"Drinking water every 5 minutes will help prevent Covid-19 because it will wash the virus in to your stomach and be destroyed by stomach acid."
I don't even know where to start about how wrong this is.
It's true that humidity does make it harder for viruses to be transmitted. We bought a humidifier at work to increase humidity from ~20% at its lowest when it was really cold outside to just over 60%. The ecologist with the HVAC company we consulted with had a study that showed viruses die seven times faster with that change in humidity. We also bought a nice water cooler on his recommendation. The water is so cold and tastes so good. We started working from home the day after it was installed. :(
The dumbest myth I've ever heard was Covid-19 was faked so that the Trump administration could covertly arrest a bunch of elite pedos. Covertly because we the common folk couldn't handle it. Absolutely ridiculous.
A moron I worked with, swore that the diet Pepsi I was drinking was flavored with aborted fetuses from planned parenthood... He was serious. "Google it..."
According to this genius, regular Pepsi was ok.. it was only diet Pepsi that was bad evidently aborted fetuses are a sugar substitute
This dude had tattoos on his eyelids too, so not real bright to begin with.
I was behind a lady in line at a gas station and she said this! The cashier mentioned that Pepsi products were 2/$3 or something and the lady was like, "Oh, I don't drink Pepsi. They use aborted fetuses in it!" She was totally serious. The cashier was like :| and I was like :| and we shared a mental facepalm.
I like this one. Just the idea that Planned Parenthood is selling aborted fetuses to PepsiCo in general, rather than... putting them in vaccines!
:O (or the stuff they ACTUALLY do with them?)
That's bad enough, but that they put them specifically in diet Pepsi and not in anything else? Like regular Pepsi? Golden.
Milk and Fish
As a Pakistani there's quite a few superstitions old folks say. One that I remember is if you drink milk and eat fish together, you get white patches in your skin (Vitiligo)
I never believed this, but I had Vitiligo as a kid and relatives used me as an example 🙄
A Speech Impediment
Oooooo I've got one.
When I had my kid, one my mother-in-law's friends said not to nibble on his feet because that's how people get a speech impedement, by far funniest shit ive ever heard.
God had to sacrifice himself to himself to serve as a loophole for a rule he created himself to stop himself from torturing us, his beloved children, for all eternity.
Oranges and Eurobeats
My top 5:
1- Flat Earth
2- "vaccines cause autism"
3- "Donald Trump is human"
4- "eating oranges at night can kill you"
5- "Eurobeat does not make your car go faster"
It is a lie! Eurobeat makes everything faster!
I've never heard the orange one.. any more info on this?
It's a myth from my country, Portugal. Old people used to say that before the internet existed. Our country has an old proverb, which I'll roughly translate:
"In the morning it's golden, in the afternoon it's silver and in the night kills."
It rhymes in Portuguese....
In other words, someone made up that proverb a long time ago and the following generations believed (not a strict belief) that oranges at night could harm you, make you ill or have a negative impact on your sleep.
Santawill ferrell santa GIF Giphy
That fat mfer Santa is gonna come with toys and fit down my chimney.
Even then i was a kid I was like "Get the f outta here guys c'mon"
"Bill Gates is behind the CoronaVirus, which is actually caused by 5G cellphone towers. He wants to use the vaccine to inject everyone with microchips."
That Bill Gates is trying to make a vaccine to poison everyone.
I was talking with a Young-Earth Creationist one time who was attempting to explain away the radiological dating that proves the Earth is billions of years old. His claim was as follows:
When the Great Flood (the one with Noah) began, great springs of water from within the Earth erupted onto the surface. The great seismic force of this event shocked quartz* deposits so much that they super-heated, to the point where they were essentially nuclear breeder reactors, which is where all the world's radioactive elements came from.
Bonus crazy claim: those radioactive elements in the Earth's crust are why modern humans only live to a maximum of 125 or so, while pre-flood figures like Noah, Adam, and Seth lived to be 800+.
*It is true that when struck with great force, quartz can emit teeny-tiny electrical charges, but this is beyond ludicrous.
Christian High School Sex Ed
A girl I used to go out with thought that if she had anal sex without a rubber it would absorb through and make her pregnant. She also thought that if she swallowed after a blowie it would make her pregnant.
Good thing for that Christian high school sex ed!
Beers And Bad Advice
You will get cramps and drown if you swim immediately after eating. We have a swimming pool in our backyard and have parties during the summer. My neighbor told their child to wait 30 minutes after eating or they could drown. I corrected my neighbor in front of their kid by saying "as a parent, you should not say stupid things to your kid or they will grow up stupid and say stupid things to their children."
I might have had a few beers before that discussion.
Alien's visit Earth. It's so difficult to travel from solar system to solar system. The Voyager 1 was launched on September 5, 1977 and its only 13.2 billion miles from the sun. Proxima Centauri the closest star to ours, is 24,808,000,000,000 miles away.
Luck And Racism
A black cat is an omen of bad luck and if one crosses your way you have I don't know how many years of bad luck. Like, excuse me? Can that cat ration put a fucking spell on you??
In most places I know of, certainly Britain, black cats are traditionally good luck. It's unclear where the American bad luck version comes from, possibly the general prejudice about black.
Luck traditions are widespread. I'm not sure I would call them silly, in a dangerous premodern world full of inexplicable disasters they probably gave some psychological sense of empowerment. Look at how we tend to grasp at anything that suggests something we can do to protect ourselves against coronavirus whether or not we understand if it makes sense.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
The amount of frivolous personal complaints seems to have hit new levels.
Whether it's complaints from co-workers or customers, nonsense is nonsense. The things I've heard people complain about in the workplace boggles my mind.
"Your smile isn't bright enough."
"I didn't feel appreciated."
"The color of your shirt is too loud."
"Your name is offensive."
Redditor InfiniteCalendar1 wanted to hear about some of the drama that's been thrown people's way, so they asked:
"What is the most ridiculous thing someone has filed a complaint against you or someone you know about?"
I once had a customer complain I didn't read the menu to her.
Not make suggestions, but literally read the menu to her.
"you guys have a great day"Giphy
"Working in retail I once said 'you guys have a great day' I was reported by an elderly women who objected to not being addressed as 'ma'am'."
"She also objected to 'have a great day' because she had come into the aquarium store because her fish was dead and she was upset that someone would tell her to 'have a great day' when her fish had died."
A measly grand?
"I got sued in small claims court by a mentally ill man who said I stole $1000 worth of roast beef and 2 sun tanning lights from him."
"It got continued twice and by the time we had our day in court, he forgot what he sued me for and just went off on a tirade about me being an a**hole."
"I once had a complaint filed against me for calling someone a slur in the elevator. My boss called me in, and we watched the camera footage from the elevator."
"Me and the other person were talking and having a good conversation and laughing with each other. My boss just said 'yeah I watched it earlier and I have no idea what they are talking about'."
"So someone tried to get me fired for no reason."
(manager and up)
"I once was told there was a high-level (manager and up) meeting being held about me… on account of my emails being written too well. :/ "
"I can write quick, well-worded emails, and someone in upper management thought that I must have been spending too much time writing my emails, possibly as a means of appearing to be superior to others."
"I worked at McDonalds. A man put a complaint in because I wouldn't let him in after we'd already shut."
Yeah, closed means closed.
You had time to get there during open hours. See you tomorrow.
We have lives too.
No thank you...Giphy
"Got a complaint filed against me by a customer for unnecessary rudeness because I turned down a guy's offer to take me out on a date."
"He asked me (repeatedly) while I was working. Dude was at least in his mid 40s; I was 16."
a scarlet letter...
"When I was a teenager working at an ice cream store, a secret shopper wrote that I was 'friendly but did not smile'."
"This write up was posted on the bulletin board like it was a scarlet letter of shame and the manager talked to me about smiling more."
"30 years later, I am still friendly but unsmiling."
A Little Off
"I had a coworker from a different department call me this morning and threatened me for something his boss had done regarding something I have no control over."
"I eventually got him to sheepishly admit that there was nothing I had control over in the situation and he was mad his boss had made the decision without consulting him first."
"Government work attracts some odd balls."
I hate retail!
"I was working in a lighting store (ceiling lights, chandeliers, etc). Secret shoppers would get sent over to us every so often and they were usually pretty obvious."
"This guy claimed he needed ceiling fans for his home so I go through the whole thing finding fans that work in his rooms, suit the design of his home, airflow needs, etc. But obviously without a specific need to buy something requiring electrical wiring this guy left without purchasing."
"He wrote that I was excellent in every way but didn't try to upsell him anything."
"At the next staff meeting the manager read this out, tried shame me in front of everyone and stressed that we need to try and sell people crap they don't even need."
"How the heck do I upsell a damn ceiling fan? 'Hey would you like a $2000 crystal chandelier with your fans? How about a set of garden lights?' I hate retail."
Stay Literate...Read Friends Tv GIFGiphy
"I once had a coworker file an HR complaint against me for reading books at lunch."
"I told HR that he's probably just offended I'm not reading hardcore pornography magazines on the clock like he does."
I'm so glad I work at home with only dogs and a cat.
And when I go outside I avoid eye contact for all of these reasons.
Find some inner peace folks.
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Death is coming for all of us.
I hate that fact about life, so I do my best to ignore it. But I know it's there. So every once in a while I can't help but wonder about it.
My biggest hope is the end is quick and painless, but some warning would be nice, so I have time to do a few things.
I often ponder what that list of "things" would entail if I was given a warning.
And what if that ending was coming fast? How do you sufficiently spend a few hours wrapping up a life?
Redditor Valleygawd wanted to hear about how we would spend those final, precious moments by asking:
"You have 24 hours left alive, what do you do for your last day on earth?"
"Say goodbye to all my friends, go outside and take my dog on a long walk and then back home to have pizza and await my fate."
"Eat McDonald's at a Burger King. What they gonna do, send me to jail for life."
"I'd buy two large fries and two large cokes at Mcdonald's and take them over to Burger King and order two whoppers for lunch."
"I know this is satire, but a buddy of mine once got kicked out of a McDonald's lobby for bringing in KFC. We were all in high school and meeting to do homework but instead we all ended up leaving."
You've Got Mail
"Send out a chain message to everyone I know saying that if you don't share this with 10 people, the person you received this message from will die tomorrow."
"Plus add on that if the people they share it to don't share it to 10 other people, they will die themselves."
"If I'm guaranteed 24 hours alive I will do a ton of extremely dangerous crap because I can't die until the 24 hours are up."
"Morphine drip is how a lot of us go anyhow. Doesn't seem so bad."
Well that should keep the time lively, but I don't understand doing things that could cut short what little time there already is.
To each their own, I guess.
Out & AboutGiphy
"If I'm gonna die, then they might as well know. I'm coming out, doing what I want for once and having the most comforting day in my life."
Expose it All
"Tell everyone I love how I feel and then get all my passwords and crap in order so people can close out all my online activities. Then go hold my wife until I die... well, probably I'll go sit in the emergency room to die so my wife doesn't have to remember me dying in her arms the rest of her life."
"Rack up as much debt as I can buying expensive things and hiding them for my family to find later (after the estate has been sorted out)."
"Makes me wonder if I have 50k in CC debt and 75k in the bank, does my family get all 75 or will the bank be legally entitled to get 50k back?"
"The banks get 50k and your family gets the leftovers. If you don't have enough money then your estate is dissolved and your family gets nothing, the debt goes away (unless someone tricks your fam into paying the debt with their money)."
Send the Message
"Spend the 24 hours with my kids and family cultivating a few last precious memories for them. Also a few hours staving off sleep recording messages for them to be able to listen to when they are older - things they aren't old enough to hear, but I would like them to hear from me when they are ready for the message."
I don't know anymore...
"Well, I wouldn't live long enough to face the consequences for whatever I do, so I'd do some things I see as bad ideas at the moment:"
"I'd cuss out my most hated person in the world. Forget that guy."
"I'd tell my best friend (former best friend? I don't know anymore...) how I feel about them, and apologize for hiding it."
"Other than that, I dunno what I'd do, maybe spend time with friends or family or panic. Make sure to let everyone know that I wouldn't be around much longer."
Where to Begin?Giphy
"Fix my will, delete all electronics, call a firm to take my stuff to goodwill, call a real estate agent and put apartment for sale, give my organs to hospital. And if time, I reckon a good nap and massage would be nice too."
Is there really a best way to spend your last 24 hours?
You can't travel, that's time consuming. There will always be so much more to do.
Que será, será, I suppose.
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You never really know the people you meet.
Sound a little too much? You'd be surprised.
Who was the most dangerous person you've meet?
You can meet people randomly, anywhere, who might possess more than what's on the surface. Either their past, or their present, dictates their capabilities, and if you say or do the wrong thing, they could lash out at you at any moment.
Say More Right Now!
"My ex. He was handsome and charismatic and very charming. Like a monster in beautiful sheep's clothing. Suddenly after a few fingers of Brandy, he made Charles Manson look inviting. It took 4.5 years, a hostage situation, a SWAT team, and me changing my name and moving 5 states to get away."
"Some people need warning labels."
Needing Something To Help Change
"A guy who I knew for a long time, was extremely friendly and overall a nice guy, we used to live in the same building but didn't hang out often."
"Time passed and I didn't see him for years, though he headed back to the state his family lives at, pretty far from where I live, instead, I learned after he got released that he went to prison for 7 years for drug dealing and [selling] illegal guns, turns out the guy was kind of a big shot in organized crime [around] the area, never suspected a thing."
"Now days he did a completely 180°, his daughter was born and he's working in a honest job, I'm glad things are looking better for him, still kinda weird, I used to play soccer with the guy and thought I knew him well, when in fact I knew nothing about him..."
Not Full Of It
"So seems like everyone is naming off various criminals. I was in the military (not me or any of my close buddies, I was a mechanic). One of the instructors in my training company was a sniper with many deployments and a slew of confirmed kills. Sometimes instructors like to hype themselves or fellow instructors up to scare recruits. Well I ended up running into him a few years later on deployment and turns out he was indeed not full of sh-t. He was about to board one of birds to go out on a mission. One that ended being "successful". Also, outside of boot camp, he was a very calm and genuinely nice guy. Unless you were the enemy of course"
"I once met a violent felon from England who had just been released from prison. My cousin took me to a random house party, I started a conversation with the other person that seemed awkward there. Turns out they had just been released from prison recently for violent offense. To make matters worse, instead of flashing him the peace sign as I left, apparently I made a vulgar gesture and I had to get to the vehicle quickly."
It's always the ones you least expect, right? The ones who are maybe a little too quiet, or maybe a little too nice, who reveal themselves to be the most deadly.
A Lot For Someone Under 18
"Grew up with a kid on my street in a small town. He was a few years older than kinda a punk as a kid, but we all were. Used to skateboard, rollerblade and he would show me Explicit music when I was too young to get it myself. Come high school time we never really associated because he had gotten heavily into drugs. Got into a bad meth deal and went back and blew their heads off a few blocks from our houses… After the whole story came out, it turns out they had tied him to a chair and burnt him with cigarettes repeatedly. Obviously killing someone is wrong but, I'm fairly certain a child doesn't deserve full punishment for killing 2 men who tortured him. I'm pretty sure he got life in prison before he even turned 18"
Almost Hired Them
"We had a young carpenter come to our home to discuss a remodeling job when we had young children."
"Very soon afterward there was an article in the newspaper about him - how he had been accidentally released from prison. He had murdered a small child, and was sent back to jail."
"I've always wondered what could have happened if we had hired him, and our children had been rambunctious and annoyed him....."
Not Where I'm Supposed To Be
"Some guy I met in county jail. GP was filled up, so they put me on the psych floor. I figured he was just there for a minor thing because he didn't seem like a bad guy. Turns out he killed two people over a drug deal gone bad. Dismembered their bodies then just left them like that in an open field to send a message."
"Why were you in the same pod as them? What crimes were you in for damn"
"Warrant for unpaid speeding tickets. Back then, county was so full, they just put you wherever there's space to fit a new body. They didn't care."
You Think You Know Someone...
"The security guard at my office building was the nicest guy. Always greeted everyone by name, always remembered little details about people, like, "Hey, how is your dog doing? Did everything check out at the vet?" And so on. Told me he was patrolling the lot, and noticed the air in my tires was getting a bit low, and to be careful."
"One morning, he came in, was telling jokes, smiling as always."
"Later that evening found out he had killed his wife and young son the night before, and came into work like nothing happened!"
Never Let Age Or Stature Indicate Capability
"Something similar happened to me. This girl I wouldn't say was scary in the sense of stature or physically scary at all, though she was pretty weird. So I worked at phone store a couple years ago and she came in with her mom, she's probably high school aged if I recall correctly, so they come in and this is the 2nd time in a week or so so I help them out again, they buy 2 phones and 2 smart watches and finance it all on their account, both happy as can be laughing and making conversation."
"I show up to work the next day and my manger is talking about something in the news, apparently [Insert girls name] had taken her best friend out into the woods and shot her in the back of the head the day before she came in and bought some stuff from me. I spent probably a good 2 hours with her. Pretty crazy stuff."
Dungeons & Dragons & Murder
"Similar - A guy I used to play D&D with ran the game from his basement. He told us one week to move our stuff from the table to a shelf if we were going to leave it there because he was going to do "spring cleaning" in the late summer. The room looked clean but what ever. He "forgot" to do it that week and had us to it the next week (2nd friday). Then the third friday when we gamed again he got a call from the cops asking if he knew anything about his ex from 10 years ago that was missing. He told us all he had nothing to do with it. That following monday he was swated, the cops searched his house and took his truck. A month later they found an odd stop on his trucks GPS. After checking that stop they found her body."
"The entire time he was acting like his normal self other then "being tired from cleaning". He is now sitting in jail. I wrote him once. He acts like nothing is wrong and that he will be out "soon" even though its been a full year. I hope he rots."
You never know who you're talking with.
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Humans can connect with everything.
Which fictional character's death made you cry?
Let's get the notable ones out of the way, the ones that hit us as kids that we've never truly gotten over.
Feeling That Real World Connection
"Sirius Black; I sobbbbbbed my first read through of Order of the Phoenix ."
"As someone who's parents are dead and who's uncle became the parent by default, I can't agree more with this. I watched his death while running on the treadmill the other day and had to stop because I was crying from all orifices"
The Song Is Called "Married Life." You're Welcome.
"Ellie from Up! "
"Gets me every time"
Gotta Watch Them Bees
"Too many to count but I remember crying my eyes out at the end of My Girl when I was like, seven or eight watching it on VHS, probably the first character death that made me cry"
"His glasses! He can't see without his glasses." Gets me EVERY time"
Just When You Think There's Only One To Deal With...
"Tara from Buffy"
"Also Joyce, I bawled my eyes out"
"I'm showing Buffy to a friend for the first time and Joyce's death basically just happened. Buffy's reaction is so heartbreaking. We watched Once More With Feeling last night so Tara's death is only a few episodes away now. I'm dreading it."
Maybe it's the nature of the death, or how we feel a character didn't deserve their untimely fate, that resonates with us the most. "They didn't deserve that!" we'll scream to no one because we're in a theater or at home, watching Netflix at 3 in the morning.
You Know There's Only Going To Be One
"Ali in squid game"
"I actually cried"
"There are other scenes that made me cry in the show, but Ali's is the only one that's literally so goddamn hard for me to watch."
I'm Tired, Boss
"John Coffey from The Green Mile."
"Ughhh. It's "Don't put me in the dark boss, I'm scared of the dark" gets me every time. That and hanks grabbing his hand."
That's Somehow Worse Than Crying?
"Leslie in Bridge to Terabithia"
"I didn't cry, but I still remember vivid dreams about trying to find her in a search party on more than one occasion."
And then there's these, characters who sacrificed everything for the ensuring safety of their friends, family, and loved ones.
Men Are Imperfect
"Borimir, he died with honor, you wanna make a man cry show him a gripping scene of a man restoring his honor and being strong in the face of great adversity at the cost of his own life. The scene with him as he dies holding aragorns hand asking forgiveness and receiving it, im tearing up rn f-ck."
"Disappointing how far I had to scroll to find this response."
"Boromir was a true representative of mankind. An extremely complex character that was good at heart, but was overcome with desperation. He didn't know what would happen with his community and acted how he thought was right."
"At the end of the day, he did the right thing when his friends were in danger."
"One of the best characters ever to be created. He causes such internal strife for me every time I watch the movies. Depending how my life is at the time, I will agree with different aspects of his actions. But at the end of the day I will always respect him and cry when he dies."
He Might Have Been Your Father...
"Since I watched it again last night, Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy 2. The Ravager funeral always gets to me, especially Kraglin's reaction to it."
"He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy!"
"My wife had a six year old daughter when we met. She'd gone no contract with the father when my step daughter was 2 because he was unstable and had violent tendencies. My step daughter tracked him down when she was about 14 and started rebuilding their relationship. He'd gotten mental health treatment in the twelve years since my wife met him, so we were okay with this and she even went live with him for a while. That didn't last because he didn't have the patience to cope with the unique challenges of being a parent to her (she has her own mental health issues) and she came back home, saying that she was glad to have gotten to know him but that I was her real dad."
"Yeah, I ugly cried in the theater when Yondu died."
You Can Rest, Now
"Tony Stark, he was the first hero I watched in high school. By the time he died, I realized I'd known the guy through movies for over 10 years at that point. I had graduated college, grad school, and started a new job. All those memories of my friends learning how to play the iron man theme song were some of the best years."
"This one was harsh. I was not expecting it."
"And then you start thinking about his kid and Pepper who he left behind. Damn, I'm going to get choked up thinking about it."
I'm not crying.
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