We all tell the occasional tall tale. Most people won't find out, right?
Now imagine coming up with a dumb lie that you somehow have to cover for. Annoying, right? But what if circumstance surprised you? That's the inspiration behind Redditor Coldmelon56's decision to ask the online community, "What is the dumbest lie you told that became true?"
"In 5th grade..."
In 5th grade, I didn't feel like running the mile in P.E. so I told the teacher I felt sick. She knew I was full of it but she let me go to the nurse anyway. I figured I'd just lie down for the period and get sent back to class. Nurse took my temperature and it read 102, so school policy stated I had to be sent home. Got the rest of the day off to lie in bed and watch Disney Channel.
"I told some people..."
I told some people at my college that my nickname was "Rockin' (FirstName)." They put it in the registry and a bunch of staff started calling me that when I checked in to events or whatever, and so soon everyone called me that.
I gave myself a nickname and it stuck.
"I was probably..."Giphy
I was probably about seven and on vacation with my family and they weren't paying any attention to me and constantly interrupting me. They were talking about someone they knew who had cows so in annoyance I point in an arbitrary direction and yell "hey a cow!" and they all go silent then I hear my dad say "oh my god your right" just as the skinniest cow emerges from behind some foliage.
At the end of 1st grade, for some reason I told my friends I was moving and wouldn't be back next year. (No idea what my reasoning was.)
Later that night a bunch of stuff went down with my (now ex) stepdad and my mom and I ended up moving states the next day.
"It was not cool."
I lied I was bit by a dog, to sound cool as a 6 year old when my parents asked me about an open wound, and got rabies shots. Couple months later, I really got bit by a dog. It was not cool.
"I was sitting..."
I told my 9th grade music teacher that I played the flute.
I was sitting in my first day of advanced music class, then I thought "I'm not gonna carry this big trombone around," so I said flute.
Then I had to buy one (parents weren't happy about the uninformed swap to a brand new instrument) but I stuck through it and not only did I pass the course with a good grade, I ended up playing flute in a marching band for a few years.
"When I was in reception..."
When I was in reception (or kindergarten for those not in the UK) I went around telling everyone that I was a hairdresser for some reason, specifically insisting that I cut and styled my own hair.. obviously no one believed me so I proceeded to cut my entire ponytail off from just behind the bobble- leaving me with a bald patch and a sort of horseshoe style gradient of hair length around it...
I used to work at Walmart and would always be the first choice to fill in for the cart pushers when they called out. One day when we had heavy rain, I wrapped my hand up with a bandage thing and told the managers that I injured my hand, so I could not push carts (of course the cart pushers were all "sick" on the day we had heavy rain).
45 minutes into my shift I actually injured my hand. Took like 2 weeks to heal.
"I had to write..."
I had to write a research paper, but obviously I hadn't finished it on time. So i just randomly generated some letters and numbers into a word document and sent it to the teacher. Even the school's IT guy told me that it was just bad luck and my file just got corrupted.
My father has glasses. I wanted glasses. Because I wanted glasses so bad, I started to pretend I couldn't see correctly. I would complain that I could never see the board correctly or when I read books the words seemed weird. I must have been extremely convincing because my mother eventually took me to the eye doctor. "Oh no" I thought. What happens when they find out I can actually see correctly? Well we go back and he takes a look behind my eyes with some medical voodoo (this was like 19 years ago) and he actually finds some weird spots back there. I then had to do the normal eye test and since I thought the jig was up, I actually tried. I failed. I left that day with a lense prescription and two years worth of eye drops.
tl;dr: Idiot younger me wanted glasses. Turns out I was seeing Minecraft graphics irl.
Not the dumbest, but quite silly and funny.
Several years ago we were in skype conference call with friends, and in the middle of conversation we suddenly heard some noises. I jokingly asked "[friend_name], did you fell off your chair?" and everyone laughed. Then we hear some more noises and a friend's muffled voice "guys wait a minute, I fell off my chair". Needless to say we laughed to stomach pain. We were around sixteen, huh. Good times.
"I'm not going to have sex..."
"I'm not going to have sex with anyone besides the person who I marry."
As it turns out, the man who I lost my virginity to is now my fiance.
"Suddenly, I was a hero..."
I used to lie about video games as a kid. Yeah, I was that kid.
But my best lie was about the secret world in Mario. I was desperate for attention, and I knew that being the keeper of secret Nintendo lore had a good shot at working, so I started fibbing and didn't stop until I'd backed myself into an unprovable corner.
I said that you had to go to the underground level and enter the pipe special, then you'd go to a whole new world, one that didn't even have the usual numbers or anything! And it was the only Mario level that was infinite, you could just play it forever and ever, just as much Mario as you could want.
At first, I was listened to (it sounds cool!) then I was vilified (an obvious lie) and then a kid came to school claiming he'd find my secret world.
I didn't believe him to start, because, obviously, I lied about it, I KNOW there's no secret level. But it turns out that if you jump into the pipe wall at the end of 1-2 while crouched, you can slide through the wall to the warp zone, and if you hop into a pipe before it loads, the game glitches and sends you to world -1. This is a water level that has no exit, and you swim forever, or at least until you run out of air and die.
Suddenly, I was a hero and the keeper of secret Nintendo lore, but thankfully I had a subscription to Nintendo Power by then, so all the secrets I told from then on were legit.
"In high school..."
In high school, my friend and I went door to door collecting money for a skate park. At least that is what we told the adults who we were collecting from - we actually used the money to buy beer. A few months later they started building a skate park...
"We had to do a project..."
This happend at the beginning of this year,
We had to do a project where we put 3 items (sometimes 4 if you really wanted to) that represented yourself in a bag
The introduction had to have a fun fact. My birthday is June 30th and my opening fact was that I have the same birthday as yandere dev, sailor Moon and my dog. Only the dog one was a lie.
Low and behold a month later my mother gets a new puppy for me and my brother (we named him max) who has the same birthday as me
"I ended up..."
I once told my mom i felt like i was gonna puke to get out of goin to the dentist... I ended up puking later that day. Guess thats my karma for lying.
"I told my friends..."
I told my friends I was in a long distance relationship with a girl I met in a random Instagram meme group chat who lived in a completely different country............we have been now in an official relationship for almost a year and I'm flying to see her in a month and I couldn't be happier.
"Told her that I could..."
We were required to learn the guitar for music class in high school and my high school crush told me she was having a hard time learning the instrument. Told her that I could bring my guitar to school the next week so I could help her. Problem is I don't own a guitar and I knew as much guitar as she probably did.
That Friday I used a large chunk of my savings to buy a guitar and used Saturday and Sunday to learn as much as I could. Only took breaks from practicing to go to the bathroom, eat, and shower. Things went fairly well with the impromptu lessons, partly because I learned a lot of those things recently so I knew exactly what to do to overcome the early stages of guitar playing. Never got to go out with my crush but I did end up with a skill I treasure and practice to this day.
"About 10 years back..."
I hate chocolate.
About 10 years back I started a new job, and some lady was offering around chocolates. I politely declined several times before having to insist I don't actually like chocolate so she would leave me alone. News quickly spread about the new guy that didn't like chocolate and now it's become the reality, nobody offers me chocolate any more or if they do they quickly retract, people make savoury stuff in the office now to cater for me. Thing is, I don't hate chocolate, I just didn't want any at that time...10 years later my colleagues have never seen me eat chocolate.
"In 5th grade..."
In 5th grade I told everyone that during summer I was gonna move to Hawaii. The plan was to get people to confess crushes to me or hatred towards me, things like that. Nobody confessed anything and now I live in Hawaii, lol.
"I didn't end up saying it out loud..."
I didn't end up saying it out loud but I do remember back in 2012, almost blurting out to a carpool filled with my principal and two best friends having a heated fight about gay marriage and adoption rights that I was gay.
None of them actually knew any LGBTQ+ people and I think I thought that if I made the stakes more personal that they'd stop making making it seem like gay people were sub-human or deformities of nature in their arguments (both for and against.)
I'd personally grown up in a really open house hold and my aunt and her girlfriend were a stable aspect of my childhood. I probably could've just mentioned them but somewhere in my dramatic 15 year old mind I felt like it wasn't a big enough bomb to drop on this car trip of horrors. Thus the almost shouting of "I'M GAY" at full volume from the back seat.
Looking back it's probably a good thing I held my tongue. I dealt with enough rumors about being a lesbian in my last few high school years, I didn't need to jump start that.
But the visceral and clear memory of thinking "What can I do to fix this" "I should shout 'I'm gay' as loud as I can" and "Oh what if I can't convince them I'm not actually gay, I mean I'm not gay, right? If they don't believe me that I'm not gay does that mean I am gay?" and then having a quite unnoticed Identity crisis in the backseat for the next hour as we drove home is burned into my brain.
I'm a happily, mostly out, bisexual/queer gal now but when I did not know that yet in high school, I was a late bloomer and trauma tends to muck things up. Thus I believe I credit that and a particularly enlightening driver's ed course the next summer as my realizing what all those years of confusing feelings might have meant.
"That I would..."
That I would have a dog by Christmas this year. My mom said impossible. So I secretly saved up money behind her back and my grandma loaned me 20$ so that I could have the full 150$ for my little guy. I came home and my mom practically s*** herself. So yea, here is some cuteness!
"In my sophomore year of high school..."
In my sophomore year of high school we had a mandatory history fair that we had to participate in. I hated my school because, for a nice neighborhood, they didn't give a f***. Pumped all the money into athletics and let academics suffer (thanks, American south!). For example, the textbook we were using that year for the history class was the same one I'd used in eighth grade in a different school in New Jersey, so I wasn't exactly smarter than anyone else, I'd just learned the material already and spent the rest of the time just reading other stuff to kill time in class.
But, given I could see how little the administration actually made an effort, I wanted to see how far I could push it. So I took the option of writing a paper which I COMPLETELY made up one Saturday morning while watching infomercials and generally not giving a damn. Granted, I hit the necessary page/word count, but completely falsified all my sources. They were all internet ones too, so all anyone would have had to do was type in one of the links and it would have been over, but I figured the worst thing that would happen was that it would drop me a letter grade and still pass the class.
Turns out, I took it to the limit. So, I go there to pick up my paper after it had been judged, expecting the whole time to get called out on it, because it's a county-wide affair with a bunch of schools participating and I figure SOMEONE has to call it out, but there's nothing.
Paper is an 'A' and I go away even more disillusioned than when I started the farce. That's not the end though. The next day over the school announcements they're recounting the history fair and my name gets called with a bunch of other people. It turns out that I had left too early the previous evening picking up my paper and missed the award I had won. Along with the others I had won The World History award. It even came with a plaque. So, thanks Florida public schools...
"It's such a weird coincidence..."
When I was a kid, I told my friend that I'd seen the Robin costume from Batman Forever in a magazine when I was on holiday abroad the week before. This was a lie, I have no idea why I told him this, but I did. 10 year old me thought this would make me cool I guess.
This was about a year or so before it was due to come out, so there hadn't been any shots of the costume or stills from the movie or anything.
Anyway, I described what it looked like to him, that it was like metallic version of the old suit.
I even drew a picture of the new 'R' symbol on his chest. He told me I was full of s***.
Anyway, about 6 months later, there's something in a movie magazine that showed the costume. It was just like I had described it. Even the R symbol looked like the drawing of it I had done.
It's such a weird coincidence that has always stuck with me.
I have two older sisters. Our mom was always pretty passive aggressive, so a lot of the time she'd say to me, "Promise me you'll never become a bratty teenage girl like your sisters." Obviously as a young kid I agreed even though I was aware that some day I'd be a teenager and probably act just as annoying.
Joke's on mom though, because I'm trans and she died before I became a teenager.
"I was at a dinner..."
I was at a dinner with a bunch of students for a college I was accepted into and wanted VERY badly to attend. While at the dinner everyone was bragging about all the universities they were accepted into and before I could even stop myself I blurted out a school that had rejected me in the first round of applicants. My mother looked at me and she was over joyed as both my father and her so desperately wanted me to go to that specific college as my tuition would be dirt cheap considering it's a top ranking uni. Not to mention I'd be in the same city as my parents.
To my dismay my mom immediately told my father about me being accepted. At the time he was working away from home. It was tough on us all because we deeply missed him and he felt very alone while he was away. He had told me he was proud (via FaceTime) and I hadn't seen him that happy in months. I felt so guilty for lying and I suddenly hated that I had even said anything. To distract myself I went scrolling through my emails to find in bold headlining "congratulations on your acceptance!" :) I was so happy that night I had cried. I actually ended up attending and I'm so happy that my lie came true.
"Every time someone asked me..."
This one requires a little background.
The first Presidential election I was old enough to vote in was 1992, and the main contenders were George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton. I didn't like either one of them: Clinton was a sleaze and Bush had terrible domestic policy. So, what is a young man to do, in a state guaranteed to go for Bush? That's right...third party candidate, baby!
Ross Perot was making a lot of noise that year, and while my older brother was a Perot fan, I didn't like that guy. I voted for James Warren, the Socialist Workers Party candidate. For two reasons. First, a message to the big boys that we don't have to choose between the two major parties. And second, because it was a great joke!
Every time someone asked me about the election I could remind them that just the year before the Soviet Union had collapsed, which meant that they were a burgeoning democracy, and that in order to keep the Cold War going we would need to have one authoritarian superpower who ignored the will of the people and traded favors to keep the powerful in power and used their surveillance abilities against dissenters of the True Party. Might as well be us!
Some joke, huh?
"When I was little..."
When I was little I would make up facts instead of going through the "why" phase and try to figure out the world on my own. Ex: instead of "why is this slug yellow?" I would say "did you know that slugs are yellow to look like bananas?". I cant think of any off the top of my head I was right about but I'm sure there are quite a few with how often I did this.
"I wanted to make my teacher..."
In grade five my teacher put me in time out because she caught me crossing my eyes at a boy across the carpet. He had been doing it too so I was indignant that only I got in trouble.
I wanted to make my teacher feel badly so after my time out I told her that I had a medical condition that made my eyes cross involuntarily.
For the remainder of the school year and subsequently every time I saw her after that, I had to remember to periodically cross my eyes to keep up the lie.
It became so reflexive that I actually started wondering if I DID have a condition that made me cross my eyes involuntarily.
I didn't lose this habit until a year after I left her class.
Also, upon reflection she obviously knew I was lying and probably laughed at me whenever she saw me cross my eyes again.
"I removed a virus..."
I removed a virus from my friend's computer nearly a decade ago. My IT teacher heard and assumed that I was an all-knowing coder. I went along with it because I gained rep as the smart kid. Not knowing what coding entailed made it ever so difficult to keep up the facade, so I learned how to code in a very short period of time. Just enough to prove that I knew something. I realized quickly that I loved computers, coding, and just about anything that relates to it. I never planned on it, but computer science became a passion. I wake up in the morning to learn and I still, after all these years, forget to sleep when I'm coding.
"My family was having a Christmas party..."
My family was having a Christmas party but I had to work at a s****y retail store. I called in sick that day and said I had the flu or something. At the party I got wasted and the next morning I had to work at like 7 AM. I spent the entire shift throwing up lol I was so hungover. But I'll tell ya what, they definitely believed me.
"I now have..."
I'm said I was allergic to tobacco.
I now have an asthmatic relation to tobacco when i don't to most other forms of smoke.
I didn't when i said it, the smoke just made me uncomfortable.
"I was 7 years old..."
I was 7 years old and not getting enough attention at Thanksgiving dinner. I stood up and yelled to all the friends and family, "MOM IS PREGNANT!!" Apparently they weren't telling anyone at 2 months along... But I was right.
"When I was in middle school..."
When I was in middle school, I didn't want to go to school. Said I was sick. But I went. My school bus had a minor run in with a car. No big deal. When I got to school, the principal approached me and the other girl that was on the bus from our school and asked if we were ok. I started crying and told her that it was really scary and I was very upset by it. She sent both of us home via the bus. Best day off ever!
"After twenty minutes..."
A lame one: We were on our institute break, and someone brought a Clue game. We round up and start a game.
After twenty minutes I was bored and decided to get out (My plan was to just say a random culprit and leaving). Turned out my guess was the correct one and ended the game altogether.
"I dismissed it..."
Teacher called me into a classroom after school in 3rd grade and informed me I had gotten a 55 on a math test. I dismissed it asap, not wanting to deal with a confrontation, and left, when my parents asked what that was all about. Instantly the lie came out and I replied "I was moved up a level in math." Well s***, the parent teacher conferences, calls, meetings, came flooding in. They met with the principal, etc, etc, and I lost track from there, but all I know is that next year I was up a level and in another class with a different teacher. Yes, I passed barely passed elementary school math with C's, and ended up being grouped in with gifted kids all because I lied on instinct that I was special.
"I'm still not publicly out..."
When I was in my teens I would joke to my friends that I was just going to get a sex change that I was a guy just in way prettier packaging, and I spent a good long time as a man on Facebook because it let me swap my gender any time I wanted. I even 'married' my best friend on FB and was her husband for over a year so randoms would stop messaging her.
Turns out I'm a trans identity. Welp.
I'm still not publicly out but I flex my gender presentation online a lot. It feels nice when people refer to me as he/him, I just don't correct them anymore.
Back in the time of Walkmans, someone asked to borrow mine to play a cassette with disco on it. I said, "No my Walkman will only play heavy metal." They of course badgered me into lending it to them and when they put in the cassette and pushed play nothing happened. Put my cassette back in, played as normal, swapped again, no disco.
Lied myself into a f*cking magic Walkman.
Looking back I think his tape was over tensioned and my battery was low, so when he put in his cassette there was not enough torque to turn the cassette while mine was adequately low.
"I didn't have a lot of money..."
Was going on a weekend with friends but actually really didn't feel like it. I didn't have a lot of money and was just generally tired. I was already thinking of excuses not to go (should I say I'm sick? Should I pretend I hurt my foot?) when a car opened their door right in front of and I rammed against it, ripping open my foot from toe to heel. Couldn't go on the trip, also couldn't walk for two weeks. Still have a scar to remember this by.
As a kid, I liked referencing this one punchline of a joke that I don't even remember— "O I C U R M T" (read aloud & it's "oh I see, you are empty!").
I once randomly referenced it in the car with my sister driving and my mom in the passenger seat... because of me, they checked the gas and found it was close to empty. Oops?
Shortly after Super Smash Bros Brawl was released, I composed a short list of joke characters that would be appearing in the next Smash Bros game. My biggest joke from that list was "The Dog From Duck Hunt."
"I said I was..."
I said I was dyslectic because I just hated math, but I hated math because I couldn't understand it... because I am, in fact, dyslectic.
Sometimes you just don't have any money and you have to make it work. I learned how to make the most out of bargains at the grocery store and know how to make food that is hearty and will last more than a day or two. Beans and rice are your friends, by the way. You'd be surprised by how many delicious meals you can make with just these two basic ingredients.
Being poor requires you to be creative.
Penny pinching is an art, as we were so deftly reminded after Redditor naranja_cheese asked the online community,
"What is the most penny pinching you've ever done?"
"I used to steal..."
"I used to steal half-used rolls of tp when I was a janitor. Lived off white rice and Worcestershire sauce for months. Got a job as a cook & always saved a few scraps while plating people's food so I would have something to eat without paying for a meal. Also worked at a butcher shop& would take home bones to roast and make a stew with. I can share hundreds of things like this."
"I worked part-time..."
"I worked part-time in school, but was pretty broke. I wasn't being paid until the following day, and I needed soy sauce for my extra super tasty stir fry. I literally had negative funds in my account. So I went to the grocery store, grabbed a sushi tray, threw a ton of packets of soy sauce in my pocket (they don't charge you for these), wandered a bit, pretended I changed my mind, and left."
"While at the grocery store..."
"While at the grocery store, putting back that pack of chicken breast that cost $2.98 for the other pack of chicken breast that cost $2.95."
"Things were insanely tight..."
"Used to make my own laundry detergent during a time when we had relocated and our prior home had not sold so we had rent on top of a mortgage for 18 months. Things were insanely tight in those days, to say the least."
I definitely know what this is like.
"I took some cedar boards..."
"I had no money for Christmas gifts. I only had enough to pay rent. I took some cedar boards in the backyard, cut them, burnt them a little black as I had no money to finish them. Then I passed them off as cutting boards."
"One Friday night..."
"One Friday night in college, my two buddies and I had a grand total of $3 to our names. I bought a box of Mac 'n Cheese, a can(!) of escargot, and three Lil' Debbie Star Crunches. We had a full meal with starch, protein, and dessert."
"I lived on pasta..."
"When I was at university my entire budget was less than £40 a week. I lived on pasta and stolen sauce packets from the Students Union. The cafeteria ladies would always take pity on me at closing time and give me free burgers."
"I lost my job..."
"I lost my job and lived in a $1400/month apartment where electricity (which included heat) and internet were ludicrously expensive. $400-450 a month in the winter because the building was an old mill with huge windows and no insulation. Fortunately, gas and water were free."
"I only turned on my lights when I had to, turned off the heat entirely, and heated my apartment by boiling a huge pot of water on the gas stove 24 hours a day and going to the business center to use the free DSL connection to apply for jobs. I ate rice with frozen vegetables and spices for three months."
"It sucked, but I got by."
Hopefully things are much better now.
"If I ate fast food..."
"If I ate fast food or takeout food, I would ask for extra sauce packets or garnishes that they give out for free. I would stock up on them, use them when I cook instead of buying the stuff from the store. For example, a $1 box of pasta, a clove of garlic, and 2-3 ramekins of parm cheese, half ramekin of chili flakes, and a pinch of Italian herbs I got from a pizza place makes a quick meal."
"My local mall..."
"My local mall used to do paid surveys, you'd watch a video or try some new soda or whatever and they'd give you a couple of dollars. Then I'd use that to buy a meal."
Sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's not easy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Now, this isn't going to be a long, "Let's all pile on how bad the internet is and only think about the good ol' days when the rocks were soft and we could only communicate using cans with string."
People old enough to remember life pre-Internet, what are some less obvious things you miss about that time?
Many habits we used to possess were made completely irrelevant thanks to the internet. Not that we didn't enjoy doing them, we just started asking ourselves, "What's the point?"
Completely Devoid Of Technological Interference
"Leaving home and just being gone for the day. No cell phones. If there were cameras, it was really different. You used them to take pictures of things or had people take pictures of you. But there was no social media to preoccupy your mind. It was just doing something. And whoever you were with, was who you were with."
No One Needs 24 Hours Of Nonsense
"News only being on at 6pm. That was it. Now we have 6 hours of local news and 24 hours of cable news. Not being bombarded all day with "news." And when you saw "Breaking News" on the screen you knew something serious went down."
You Mean We Actually Have To Go?
"It used to be a lot harder to bail on things. You'd have to call the person at home and tell them yourself, or at least leave a message if you wanted to be risky. Typically if you were gonna bail you'd give at least 24 hours notice. Nowadays people can let you know they're bailing last second since you're always reachable."
"RSVPing mattered. If you said you were going to be there, you made sure to be there. None of this facebook invites that everyone blows off without any form of social repercussions. If you said you were going to go and didn't go, you were the a--hole and everyone knew it."
You can get almost anything on the internet. Almost. Still no sign of real working Lightsabers anywhere out there, but the internet has eliminated many of our purchasing practices.
Just In Time For The Holidays!
"The Sears catalog. That was how I found out about all the cool new toys."
"Catalogs in general, for me. Before the internet made mindless browsing of stuff you didn't need ~really~ easy to do, we still liked doing this without having to drive to the mall. The solution? Sign your mom up for those cool seed catalogs, those not safe to browse at the office gag gift catalogs and then everything in between. That stuff was really nice to have when you grew up somewhere that was not even cable ready."
1 Good Song Out Of 15
"When you bought new music you just had to hope it was good. The single might be popular but otherwise unless someone had it you just bought it and hoped for the best."
"There was so much excitement to going to a cd store to buy an album that you only knew one song of or the band/artist name and just listening to that entire cd over and over again picking out which tracks were your favorite while still learning every lyric to all the songs on the album.
Building a cd collection was also fun."
Talk About The "Immediate Gratification" Generation, Huh?
"The instant win bottle caps / candy / chocolate bar wrappers where you could turn them back into the store and immediately get a free one. Now it's just codes you have to register on their website so they can get your info, i don't even bother anymore."
Finally, there's these activities, to difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't there. How do you get someone to understand that not having a supercomputer in your pocket at all hours of the day radically changed your life?
Keeping It In Front Of You
"I miss having an attention span of more than three seconds"
"It's so weird. I can only vaguely remember what it feels like to not have a smartphone and to be alone and think.
Wondering what my friends are doing and if they'd like to do something on the weekend. We'd have to talk during lunch break at school and plan it...
Trying to find the answer to a math problem... Having to figure it out by re-reading the problem and explanations 5 times."
There Used To Be A Time When You Couldn't Play Everything
"Not being overwhelmed by choice.
Don't get me wrong, having nearly every form of media downloadable is great, but back in the day, i rented a video game and i played that video game as much as i could.
Now, its hard to give it more than 2 seconds before i try one of the 20,000 games i have access to.
New game plus used to be cool. Now, I'm happy if just beat the game"
Floundering. Just A Little.
"My formative years were the 1980s. I remember like yesterday going to study in Paris my junior year of college. I got off the plane with no cell phone, no internet, a Let's Go Paris book, and just a hostel address written on a piece of paper I'd stuck in a French dictionary. I did not know a single person in all of France.
I had $500 of cash stuck in a money belt. The belt was tight and sweaty but that money had to last me for at least a month until I could find a part-time job with my lousy French. My "credit card" was my father's credit card numbers written down on a piece of paper. He told me I could only use it to buy a plane ticket home in an emergency.
I remember standing in the airport and having this powerful emotion of being 21 years old, scared sh-tless, but in absolutely completely control of my own destiny. There was absolutely nobody who could come rushing to my aid if I needed it. I was 100% on my own.
I'm actually very thankful for that experience. I found the hostel. I found a job. I made friends. I learned French. I made it all on my own which was just a big boost in life confidence.
I have no doubt if I'd had a cell phone I would've called my parents on Day 2, told them it was too hard, and been on the next plane home. But I had no other choice but to succeed."
We can never go back. Not really, anyway. The only way is to keep going forward, be aware of the effect the internet has on us, and do our best to not let it take away the things that really matter in our lives.
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Look, unless you enjoy cooking, no one likes spending time in the kitchen longer than they have to in order to whip up something mediocre to eat.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
A Loaded Course
"Two hotdogs and a side of judgement from my fiancé"
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
Don't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?
We all like to assume that a big old scar has an amazing, hardcore story behind it: maybe a valiant fight or some life threatening-escape.
But despite what Hollywood would have us think, that is so rarely the case.
Usually, some kind of bizarre accident leaves us with the biggest scar of our life. There's no action movie story behind it, just a careful mixture of foolishness and bad luck.
Clearly not put off by some gruesome anecdotes, Redditor fluffybear45 asked:
"People with scars, how did you get them?"
For many, it was the wild antics of childhood that left them slightly maimed. With many years now separating the Redditor from the event, these were pretty hilarious.
Out of Nowhere!
"I was playing on a swing and then my leg got stuck in barbed wire." -- Soviet_God-Emperor
"I feel like we missed a couple steps here, or your local park had some serious issues." -- Henfrid
"Yo that went from 0 to 100 real fast" -- IHaveButt
"2nd grade, defective slip-n-slide." -- AdmiralAkbar1
"I'm pretty sure the general design of the slip'n'slide was defective. Those stakes weren't covered originally, so you had to be straight down the middle of the slide or else....." -- Q-burt
"Could you refer to this incident in a gravely voice while staring into the middle distance, pausing only to shudder and sip your scotch?" -- CaptValentine
That's Why You Need an Axe Yard
"My dad hit me with an axe (bladed side) in the face. Stupid 10 yo me just had to look over his shoulder while he was hammering in herrings for our tent."
Others talked about freak accidents that came not from the stupidity of childhood, but the bad luck of mistakes made as an adult.
Bad Conditions for Practice
"Dad gave me a folding knife for Christmas"
"I read online that you could flick it open with one hand"
"So I practiced it, after my hands were greasy from eating a burger"
Take Your Pick
"Multiple long scars on my back are from falling onto a old soviet steel welcome mat ( i dont know how to describe it in english but its meant to wipe dirt of your shoes with triangle shaped steel beams."
"Medium sized one on my forearm is from a barbed wire fence, another one next to it is from a motorcycle accident and one on the base on my thumb is from a cars hood slipping and cutting me."
One Heck Of a Fall
" 'This one is from a skateboard, this one was a truck accident, and this one was a fire hydrant.' "
" 'Oh really? I bet each one has a very unique story.' "
" 'Not really, I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.' "
Last, some people talked about the medical procedures that left them with the big gash. These stories had some ninth grade words and not nearly as much stupidity.
"A rare auto immune disorder called pyoderma gangrenosum twice... Don't google If you don't like gore... I had to have daily wound care and high doses of medical steroids"
"My intestines telescoped on themselves 8" scar on my belly." -- Anom8675309
"I never wanted to see the words 'intestines' and 'telescoped' together. Ouch." -- LadySygerrik
"I was born 2 months premature. I wasn't born with an esophagus so drs. cut my stomach open and used parts of my colon or intestines and created a new one for me. I have a huge scar on my neck and my stomach is one big scar. Also had a stomach feeding tube for quite a bit and heart surgery at 2 days old."
"I love science. I wouldn't have experienced life if it hadn't been for advances in medical science."
So if you've been sitting on an embarrassing backstory for one of your scars, feel free to share. You're hardly alone.
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