We all tell the occasional tall tale. Most people won't find out, right?
Now imagine coming up with a dumb lie that you somehow have to cover for. Annoying, right? But what if circumstance surprised you? That's the inspiration behind Redditor Coldmelon56's decision to ask the online community, "What is the dumbest lie you told that became true?"
"In 5th grade..."
In 5th grade, I didn't feel like running the mile in P.E. so I told the teacher I felt sick. She knew I was full of it but she let me go to the nurse anyway. I figured I'd just lie down for the period and get sent back to class. Nurse took my temperature and it read 102, so school policy stated I had to be sent home. Got the rest of the day off to lie in bed and watch Disney Channel.
"I told some people..."
I told some people at my college that my nickname was "Rockin' (FirstName)." They put it in the registry and a bunch of staff started calling me that when I checked in to events or whatever, and so soon everyone called me that.
I gave myself a nickname and it stuck.
"I was probably..."Giphy
I was probably about seven and on vacation with my family and they weren't paying any attention to me and constantly interrupting me. They were talking about someone they knew who had cows so in annoyance I point in an arbitrary direction and yell "hey a cow!" and they all go silent then I hear my dad say "oh my god your right" just as the skinniest cow emerges from behind some foliage.
At the end of 1st grade, for some reason I told my friends I was moving and wouldn't be back next year. (No idea what my reasoning was.)
Later that night a bunch of stuff went down with my (now ex) stepdad and my mom and I ended up moving states the next day.
"It was not cool."
I lied I was bit by a dog, to sound cool as a 6 year old when my parents asked me about an open wound, and got rabies shots. Couple months later, I really got bit by a dog. It was not cool.
"I was sitting..."
I told my 9th grade music teacher that I played the flute.
I was sitting in my first day of advanced music class, then I thought "I'm not gonna carry this big trombone around," so I said flute.
Then I had to buy one (parents weren't happy about the uninformed swap to a brand new instrument) but I stuck through it and not only did I pass the course with a good grade, I ended up playing flute in a marching band for a few years.
"When I was in reception..."
When I was in reception (or kindergarten for those not in the UK) I went around telling everyone that I was a hairdresser for some reason, specifically insisting that I cut and styled my own hair.. obviously no one believed me so I proceeded to cut my entire ponytail off from just behind the bobble- leaving me with a bald patch and a sort of horseshoe style gradient of hair length around it...
I used to work at Walmart and would always be the first choice to fill in for the cart pushers when they called out. One day when we had heavy rain, I wrapped my hand up with a bandage thing and told the managers that I injured my hand, so I could not push carts (of course the cart pushers were all "sick" on the day we had heavy rain).
45 minutes into my shift I actually injured my hand. Took like 2 weeks to heal.
"I had to write..."
I had to write a research paper, but obviously I hadn't finished it on time. So i just randomly generated some letters and numbers into a word document and sent it to the teacher. Even the school's IT guy told me that it was just bad luck and my file just got corrupted.
My father has glasses. I wanted glasses. Because I wanted glasses so bad, I started to pretend I couldn't see correctly. I would complain that I could never see the board correctly or when I read books the words seemed weird. I must have been extremely convincing because my mother eventually took me to the eye doctor. "Oh no" I thought. What happens when they find out I can actually see correctly? Well we go back and he takes a look behind my eyes with some medical voodoo (this was like 19 years ago) and he actually finds some weird spots back there. I then had to do the normal eye test and since I thought the jig was up, I actually tried. I failed. I left that day with a lense prescription and two years worth of eye drops.
tl;dr: Idiot younger me wanted glasses. Turns out I was seeing Minecraft graphics irl.
Not the dumbest, but quite silly and funny.
Several years ago we were in skype conference call with friends, and in the middle of conversation we suddenly heard some noises. I jokingly asked "[friend_name], did you fell off your chair?" and everyone laughed. Then we hear some more noises and a friend's muffled voice "guys wait a minute, I fell off my chair". Needless to say we laughed to stomach pain. We were around sixteen, huh. Good times.
"I'm not going to have sex..."
"I'm not going to have sex with anyone besides the person who I marry."
As it turns out, the man who I lost my virginity to is now my fiance.
"Suddenly, I was a hero..."
I used to lie about video games as a kid. Yeah, I was that kid.
But my best lie was about the secret world in Mario. I was desperate for attention, and I knew that being the keeper of secret Nintendo lore had a good shot at working, so I started fibbing and didn't stop until I'd backed myself into an unprovable corner.
I said that you had to go to the underground level and enter the pipe special, then you'd go to a whole new world, one that didn't even have the usual numbers or anything! And it was the only Mario level that was infinite, you could just play it forever and ever, just as much Mario as you could want.
At first, I was listened to (it sounds cool!) then I was vilified (an obvious lie) and then a kid came to school claiming he'd find my secret world.
I didn't believe him to start, because, obviously, I lied about it, I KNOW there's no secret level. But it turns out that if you jump into the pipe wall at the end of 1-2 while crouched, you can slide through the wall to the warp zone, and if you hop into a pipe before it loads, the game glitches and sends you to world -1. This is a water level that has no exit, and you swim forever, or at least until you run out of air and die.
Suddenly, I was a hero and the keeper of secret Nintendo lore, but thankfully I had a subscription to Nintendo Power by then, so all the secrets I told from then on were legit.
"In high school..."
In high school, my friend and I went door to door collecting money for a skate park. At least that is what we told the adults who we were collecting from - we actually used the money to buy beer. A few months later they started building a skate park...
"We had to do a project..."
This happend at the beginning of this year,
We had to do a project where we put 3 items (sometimes 4 if you really wanted to) that represented yourself in a bag
The introduction had to have a fun fact. My birthday is June 30th and my opening fact was that I have the same birthday as yandere dev, sailor Moon and my dog. Only the dog one was a lie.
Low and behold a month later my mother gets a new puppy for me and my brother (we named him max) who has the same birthday as me
"I ended up..."
I once told my mom i felt like i was gonna puke to get out of goin to the dentist... I ended up puking later that day. Guess thats my karma for lying.
"I told my friends..."
I told my friends I was in a long distance relationship with a girl I met in a random Instagram meme group chat who lived in a completely different country............we have been now in an official relationship for almost a year and I'm flying to see her in a month and I couldn't be happier.
"Told her that I could..."
We were required to learn the guitar for music class in high school and my high school crush told me she was having a hard time learning the instrument. Told her that I could bring my guitar to school the next week so I could help her. Problem is I don't own a guitar and I knew as much guitar as she probably did.
That Friday I used a large chunk of my savings to buy a guitar and used Saturday and Sunday to learn as much as I could. Only took breaks from practicing to go to the bathroom, eat, and shower. Things went fairly well with the impromptu lessons, partly because I learned a lot of those things recently so I knew exactly what to do to overcome the early stages of guitar playing. Never got to go out with my crush but I did end up with a skill I treasure and practice to this day.
"About 10 years back..."
I hate chocolate.
About 10 years back I started a new job, and some lady was offering around chocolates. I politely declined several times before having to insist I don't actually like chocolate so she would leave me alone. News quickly spread about the new guy that didn't like chocolate and now it's become the reality, nobody offers me chocolate any more or if they do they quickly retract, people make savoury stuff in the office now to cater for me. Thing is, I don't hate chocolate, I just didn't want any at that time...10 years later my colleagues have never seen me eat chocolate.
"In 5th grade..."
In 5th grade I told everyone that during summer I was gonna move to Hawaii. The plan was to get people to confess crushes to me or hatred towards me, things like that. Nobody confessed anything and now I live in Hawaii, lol.
"I didn't end up saying it out loud..."
I didn't end up saying it out loud but I do remember back in 2012, almost blurting out to a carpool filled with my principal and two best friends having a heated fight about gay marriage and adoption rights that I was gay.
None of them actually knew any LGBTQ+ people and I think I thought that if I made the stakes more personal that they'd stop making making it seem like gay people were sub-human or deformities of nature in their arguments (both for and against.)
I'd personally grown up in a really open house hold and my aunt and her girlfriend were a stable aspect of my childhood. I probably could've just mentioned them but somewhere in my dramatic 15 year old mind I felt like it wasn't a big enough bomb to drop on this car trip of horrors. Thus the almost shouting of "I'M GAY" at full volume from the back seat.
Looking back it's probably a good thing I held my tongue. I dealt with enough rumors about being a lesbian in my last few high school years, I didn't need to jump start that.
But the visceral and clear memory of thinking "What can I do to fix this" "I should shout 'I'm gay' as loud as I can" and "Oh what if I can't convince them I'm not actually gay, I mean I'm not gay, right? If they don't believe me that I'm not gay does that mean I am gay?" and then having a quite unnoticed Identity crisis in the backseat for the next hour as we drove home is burned into my brain.
I'm a happily, mostly out, bisexual/queer gal now but when I did not know that yet in high school, I was a late bloomer and trauma tends to muck things up. Thus I believe I credit that and a particularly enlightening driver's ed course the next summer as my realizing what all those years of confusing feelings might have meant.
"That I would..."
That I would have a dog by Christmas this year. My mom said impossible. So I secretly saved up money behind her back and my grandma loaned me 20$ so that I could have the full 150$ for my little guy. I came home and my mom practically s*** herself. So yea, here is some cuteness!
"In my sophomore year of high school..."
In my sophomore year of high school we had a mandatory history fair that we had to participate in. I hated my school because, for a nice neighborhood, they didn't give a f***. Pumped all the money into athletics and let academics suffer (thanks, American south!). For example, the textbook we were using that year for the history class was the same one I'd used in eighth grade in a different school in New Jersey, so I wasn't exactly smarter than anyone else, I'd just learned the material already and spent the rest of the time just reading other stuff to kill time in class.
But, given I could see how little the administration actually made an effort, I wanted to see how far I could push it. So I took the option of writing a paper which I COMPLETELY made up one Saturday morning while watching infomercials and generally not giving a damn. Granted, I hit the necessary page/word count, but completely falsified all my sources. They were all internet ones too, so all anyone would have had to do was type in one of the links and it would have been over, but I figured the worst thing that would happen was that it would drop me a letter grade and still pass the class.
Turns out, I took it to the limit. So, I go there to pick up my paper after it had been judged, expecting the whole time to get called out on it, because it's a county-wide affair with a bunch of schools participating and I figure SOMEONE has to call it out, but there's nothing.
Paper is an 'A' and I go away even more disillusioned than when I started the farce. That's not the end though. The next day over the school announcements they're recounting the history fair and my name gets called with a bunch of other people. It turns out that I had left too early the previous evening picking up my paper and missed the award I had won. Along with the others I had won The World History award. It even came with a plaque. So, thanks Florida public schools...
"It's such a weird coincidence..."
When I was a kid, I told my friend that I'd seen the Robin costume from Batman Forever in a magazine when I was on holiday abroad the week before. This was a lie, I have no idea why I told him this, but I did. 10 year old me thought this would make me cool I guess.
This was about a year or so before it was due to come out, so there hadn't been any shots of the costume or stills from the movie or anything.
Anyway, I described what it looked like to him, that it was like metallic version of the old suit.
I even drew a picture of the new 'R' symbol on his chest. He told me I was full of s***.
Anyway, about 6 months later, there's something in a movie magazine that showed the costume. It was just like I had described it. Even the R symbol looked like the drawing of it I had done.
It's such a weird coincidence that has always stuck with me.
I have two older sisters. Our mom was always pretty passive aggressive, so a lot of the time she'd say to me, "Promise me you'll never become a bratty teenage girl like your sisters." Obviously as a young kid I agreed even though I was aware that some day I'd be a teenager and probably act just as annoying.
Joke's on mom though, because I'm trans and she died before I became a teenager.
"I was at a dinner..."
I was at a dinner with a bunch of students for a college I was accepted into and wanted VERY badly to attend. While at the dinner everyone was bragging about all the universities they were accepted into and before I could even stop myself I blurted out a school that had rejected me in the first round of applicants. My mother looked at me and she was over joyed as both my father and her so desperately wanted me to go to that specific college as my tuition would be dirt cheap considering it's a top ranking uni. Not to mention I'd be in the same city as my parents.
To my dismay my mom immediately told my father about me being accepted. At the time he was working away from home. It was tough on us all because we deeply missed him and he felt very alone while he was away. He had told me he was proud (via FaceTime) and I hadn't seen him that happy in months. I felt so guilty for lying and I suddenly hated that I had even said anything. To distract myself I went scrolling through my emails to find in bold headlining "congratulations on your acceptance!" :) I was so happy that night I had cried. I actually ended up attending and I'm so happy that my lie came true.
"Every time someone asked me..."
This one requires a little background.
The first Presidential election I was old enough to vote in was 1992, and the main contenders were George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton. I didn't like either one of them: Clinton was a sleaze and Bush had terrible domestic policy. So, what is a young man to do, in a state guaranteed to go for Bush? That's right...third party candidate, baby!
Ross Perot was making a lot of noise that year, and while my older brother was a Perot fan, I didn't like that guy. I voted for James Warren, the Socialist Workers Party candidate. For two reasons. First, a message to the big boys that we don't have to choose between the two major parties. And second, because it was a great joke!
Every time someone asked me about the election I could remind them that just the year before the Soviet Union had collapsed, which meant that they were a burgeoning democracy, and that in order to keep the Cold War going we would need to have one authoritarian superpower who ignored the will of the people and traded favors to keep the powerful in power and used their surveillance abilities against dissenters of the True Party. Might as well be us!
Some joke, huh?
"When I was little..."
When I was little I would make up facts instead of going through the "why" phase and try to figure out the world on my own. Ex: instead of "why is this slug yellow?" I would say "did you know that slugs are yellow to look like bananas?". I cant think of any off the top of my head I was right about but I'm sure there are quite a few with how often I did this.
"I wanted to make my teacher..."
In grade five my teacher put me in time out because she caught me crossing my eyes at a boy across the carpet. He had been doing it too so I was indignant that only I got in trouble.
I wanted to make my teacher feel badly so after my time out I told her that I had a medical condition that made my eyes cross involuntarily.
For the remainder of the school year and subsequently every time I saw her after that, I had to remember to periodically cross my eyes to keep up the lie.
It became so reflexive that I actually started wondering if I DID have a condition that made me cross my eyes involuntarily.
I didn't lose this habit until a year after I left her class.
Also, upon reflection she obviously knew I was lying and probably laughed at me whenever she saw me cross my eyes again.
"I removed a virus..."
I removed a virus from my friend's computer nearly a decade ago. My IT teacher heard and assumed that I was an all-knowing coder. I went along with it because I gained rep as the smart kid. Not knowing what coding entailed made it ever so difficult to keep up the facade, so I learned how to code in a very short period of time. Just enough to prove that I knew something. I realized quickly that I loved computers, coding, and just about anything that relates to it. I never planned on it, but computer science became a passion. I wake up in the morning to learn and I still, after all these years, forget to sleep when I'm coding.
"My family was having a Christmas party..."
My family was having a Christmas party but I had to work at a s****y retail store. I called in sick that day and said I had the flu or something. At the party I got wasted and the next morning I had to work at like 7 AM. I spent the entire shift throwing up lol I was so hungover. But I'll tell ya what, they definitely believed me.
"I now have..."
I'm said I was allergic to tobacco.
I now have an asthmatic relation to tobacco when i don't to most other forms of smoke.
I didn't when i said it, the smoke just made me uncomfortable.
"I was 7 years old..."
I was 7 years old and not getting enough attention at Thanksgiving dinner. I stood up and yelled to all the friends and family, "MOM IS PREGNANT!!" Apparently they weren't telling anyone at 2 months along... But I was right.
"When I was in middle school..."
When I was in middle school, I didn't want to go to school. Said I was sick. But I went. My school bus had a minor run in with a car. No big deal. When I got to school, the principal approached me and the other girl that was on the bus from our school and asked if we were ok. I started crying and told her that it was really scary and I was very upset by it. She sent both of us home via the bus. Best day off ever!
"After twenty minutes..."
A lame one: We were on our institute break, and someone brought a Clue game. We round up and start a game.
After twenty minutes I was bored and decided to get out (My plan was to just say a random culprit and leaving). Turned out my guess was the correct one and ended the game altogether.
"I dismissed it..."
Teacher called me into a classroom after school in 3rd grade and informed me I had gotten a 55 on a math test. I dismissed it asap, not wanting to deal with a confrontation, and left, when my parents asked what that was all about. Instantly the lie came out and I replied "I was moved up a level in math." Well s***, the parent teacher conferences, calls, meetings, came flooding in. They met with the principal, etc, etc, and I lost track from there, but all I know is that next year I was up a level and in another class with a different teacher. Yes, I passed barely passed elementary school math with C's, and ended up being grouped in with gifted kids all because I lied on instinct that I was special.
"I'm still not publicly out..."
When I was in my teens I would joke to my friends that I was just going to get a sex change that I was a guy just in way prettier packaging, and I spent a good long time as a man on Facebook because it let me swap my gender any time I wanted. I even 'married' my best friend on FB and was her husband for over a year so randoms would stop messaging her.
Turns out I'm a trans identity. Welp.
I'm still not publicly out but I flex my gender presentation online a lot. It feels nice when people refer to me as he/him, I just don't correct them anymore.
Back in the time of Walkmans, someone asked to borrow mine to play a cassette with disco on it. I said, "No my Walkman will only play heavy metal." They of course badgered me into lending it to them and when they put in the cassette and pushed play nothing happened. Put my cassette back in, played as normal, swapped again, no disco.
Lied myself into a f*cking magic Walkman.
Looking back I think his tape was over tensioned and my battery was low, so when he put in his cassette there was not enough torque to turn the cassette while mine was adequately low.
"I didn't have a lot of money..."
Was going on a weekend with friends but actually really didn't feel like it. I didn't have a lot of money and was just generally tired. I was already thinking of excuses not to go (should I say I'm sick? Should I pretend I hurt my foot?) when a car opened their door right in front of and I rammed against it, ripping open my foot from toe to heel. Couldn't go on the trip, also couldn't walk for two weeks. Still have a scar to remember this by.
As a kid, I liked referencing this one punchline of a joke that I don't even remember— "O I C U R M T" (read aloud & it's "oh I see, you are empty!").
I once randomly referenced it in the car with my sister driving and my mom in the passenger seat... because of me, they checked the gas and found it was close to empty. Oops?
Shortly after Super Smash Bros Brawl was released, I composed a short list of joke characters that would be appearing in the next Smash Bros game. My biggest joke from that list was "The Dog From Duck Hunt."
"I said I was..."
I said I was dyslectic because I just hated math, but I hated math because I couldn't understand it... because I am, in fact, dyslectic.
Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
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I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.
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