Medical Professionals Share The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Seen A Patient Do After Leaving The Hospital
Why did you even bother asking for help?
Follow the doctors orders! How difficult is that rule? Why am I even asking? We're currently in a health crisis because people won't wear masks strictly because doctors say so. It's maddening. If you're not gonna do what the medical professionals say, then why even bother wasting your time and theirs? Why rack up the medical bills that most of us will ever be able to pay. Just stay home with scotch tape and prayer. Let us know how that works out.
Redditor u/vitortrv reached out to all the medical professionals here to see who wanted to vent about the foolish actions of some patients by asking..... Hospital workers of reddit, what was the dumbest thing you saw a patient do immediately after leaving?Light it Up!
mothers day smoking GIFGiphySomebody lit up a cigarette (in a no smoking area) with a nasal cannula on, and lit their face on fire. Had to come right back into the ER.
your nurses are crap!!!
Not a hospital worker but I was in the emergency room due to a sports related injury. Finally got let out after hours of x rays and examinations as I was learning how to use crutches and watched someone with stitches on his arm start stretching like he was going to run all the way home.
He turned around, walked towards the desk and yelled "your nurses are crap!" after the cut on his arm reopened mid stretch. The woman at the desk looked so tired.
Slinged.
I saw someone pull his newly slung arm out of it's sling so he could put his jacket on as he was leaving the ER. He just stopped in front of my desk and started whimpering and yelling "Owwwwww! OHhh!" as he slowly worked his arm around to get it out of the sling and into the sleeve of his jacket. I'm pretty sure it wasn't very cold outside at the time.
I plead for him to stop but he ignored me. It was really bizarre.
Downtown!
hey arnold nicksplat GIFGiphyGuy was discharged from our emergency room and wanted a cab voucher to get downtown. We wouldn't give him one because he didn't meet our requirements. He walked outside, called 911, and told the ambulance to take him to a hospital downtown.
So Screwed.
Go out to the carpark, meet their dealer in a car, and shoot up through their IV cannula. Then saunter back into their room as if we couldn't tell??! He got security on him after that to stop him leaving. It just meant he spent his entire stay in the toilets smoking so much we could barely breathe on the corridor and we had to watch his visitors like a hawk in case they passed him something on the ward.
He was a nice guy too. Just screwed up.
Baby You're a Firework...
In the Darwin Awards is a tale of a man in hospital with a skin problem. The staff coated him all over with a cream which is highly flammable, warned him about it and told him to keep away from any sources of ignition. He immediately snuck outside for a smoke. Went up like a roman candle.
"bad luck"
Not a doctor but.... I knew someone that is a fitness freak to an obnoxious level. She had a medical emergency (intestinal blockage) one day that involved major abdominal surgery and removal of part of her intestine. The day she was released from the hospital, she went back to her insane workout routine, trying to make up for the muscle she lost.
She claims her doctor told her she could. Her intestines ripped open. She barely survived. She still claimed after the fact that her working out had absolutely nothing to do with her body ripping open and it was just "bad luck."
Deep Breaths....
paper bag GIFGiphyPatient came in for shortness of breath. She was seen and discharged. A nurse saw her walk into the parking lot, jab herself in the leg with an Epipen, and come right back in saying that she's short of breath.
Oh the stories....
- Inject heroin into their PICC line (big IV)
- leave to go smoke a cigarette and get hit by car
- steal from a 7-eleven while in a hospital gown
- escape from the ER and steal an ambulance senorkose
Off the Rails....
motorcycle jim GIFGiphyMy brother works as a volunteer for the red cross. He mostly volunteers as a medic in ambulances. He told me how they picked up a guy because he crashed his bike after he didn't pay attention and got his tyre stuck in some tram tracks. About 3 hours later he was picked up again after he tried to ride his bike with one hand in a cast. First time round he sprained his elbow, second time round he broke his shoulder on the same side.
we can see inside of you....
I work in medical imaging where patients have to drink oral contrast for their exam.
Some folks really hate the stuff and one patient after being given the oral contrast went outside and dumped it in the bushes and came back in and said that they had drank it. Our front desk lady actually saw her dump it in the bushes and told us about it but we would have seen the lack of contrast in the image even if she hadn't told us. I talked to the patient and was like "we can see inside of you, we can tell if you drank it or not."
have some self control Sir....
When I was a nursing student I did a rotation on a transitional care unit in my first year of school(where people go to wait for a nursing home placement). Had an older man as a client who did not have any cognitive impairment complain about abrasions on his penis. Ok all is well and I call for a doctor to look at it to get some antibiotic ointment for it. The doctor can't come up to our floor for another few hours.
I tell the patient this and leave to go do something else. About half an hour later it's time to go take his blood sugar and guess what I find the man doing? Masturbating in plain sight and his hand and penis are bloody and raw. I literally had to have a conversation with a man my grandfather's age and have to tell him not to masturbate while the abrasions are healing and to take it easier once it was healed.
"tackle football"
I work for a medical device company that makes bone screws. We had a patient sue us for faulty implants - apparently his screws broke less than a month after surgery. This is a big deal, and not just from a financial standpoint, so of course we launched a full investigation.
Turns out the dumb fool decided to play tackle football less than a month after his major back surgery. Our bone screws are strong, but not "tackle football" strong.
NOOOOO!!!!
GiphyDischarged a patient after hysterectomy (removing uterus, stitches at top of her vagina) and she went home and had sexual relations, busting her stitches and allowing for her bowel to protrude through the vagina. Had to have an emergency procedure to fix it.
Bless Me Father.
I had a patient that was a regular, scans every 3 months. He knew the prep and always fasted for 6 hours like we required. I asked all the usual questions and got the exam started. As soon as I inject the medication he mentions in passing how he was at mass that morning and had taken communion!!
This is an exam that is royally messed up and invalidated if a person has consumed anything expect for water in the 6 hours prior to the injection of meds. My jaw hit the floor! When questioned it turns out he's very religious and basically did not consider communion food or drink (host and wine!) Yeah, he had to come back and repeat the test.
Help The Woofie....
I heard on my neurology rotation in vet school. They did a surgery on a doberman for wobbler's (neck instability). Dog came back a week after surgery quadriplegic. The owners let it play in the backyard with it's brother and he got tackled. The dog never walked again. :/ I couldn't believe the owners were so stupid to spend 6K on a surgery for a dog and not follow through with the recovery instructions.
Zero stars for Yelp!
Now retired but one of the things I liked about "my" hospital was the food. We have a lot of immigrants in our area and some wise person decided to hire a pretty diverse crowd of cooks - Jamaican ladies making spicy chicken, Japanese cooks making sushi, Mexican dudes making made-to-order burritos, local barbecue, etc. And it was all very "clean" from a nutritional viewpoint - all of it was inspected by our RDs.
And just about every day I would see patients turn down this excellent food and have their families bring them crap from fast food joints in town.
Edit: well, this caught fire while I was asleep. Yes, the food was good - the barbecue vendor also offered fried chicken. But, the reason I retired a year early is because that hospital was being absorbed into a large health care corporation and we all know that never benefits anyone but the suits. From what my former coworkers tell me, that cafeteria now offers the finest food service meals delivered daily in refrigerator trucks and served fresh from the microwave. Hiring cooks who needed/wanted a job is probably not part of the corporate profit plan.
Armed.
GiphyI feel like I am that person.
When I was 15 I broke my arm. Went to the hospital got a cast went about for a few weeks and got it removed. Great! I have my arm back. Now I wasn't the brightest kid and needed everything explained to me. No one told me not to have an arm wrestle with my fresh out of cast arm.
No one explained it was still healing. 4 hours after having my cast removed I was back in A&E and getting a new X-ray and then a new cast put on by the same nurse who just took it off. I have never seen such disappointment in the eyes of someone who wasn't my mother.
Do Decaf....
A lady came to our ER for tachycardia, and anxiety. The triage nurse, on a hunch, asked what she'd eaten that day, and if she'd had any coffee. "I haven't had time to eat (this now being mid afternoon), and only four or five cups of coffee." Genuinely clueless...
Light it Up!
GiphyCountless COPD/asthmatics coming in for wheezing, SOB, rapid breathing. We treat them and the second they feel better they will state, "I forgot something in my car", only to leave and light up a cig.
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- Medical Professionals Describe The Stupidest Misconception A Patient Has Ever Had About The Human Body - George Takei ›
- People Describe Warning Signs That Someone Should Go To The Hospital Immediately - George Takei ›
- People Who Were Fine One Minute And Then Woke Up In The Hospital Share Their Stories - George Takei ›
The Absolute Weirdest Questions People Have Been Asked In A Job Interview
Reddit user TinyTbird12 asked: 'What is the weirdest question you’ve been asked at a job interview, what happened?'
I once burst out laughing during a job interview.
It was for an internal position so I knew all of the interviewers well, but even if I hadn't I doubt I could have kept a straight face.
What cracked me up?
This interview question:
"If I attended a backyard BBQ with your last boss, what do you think they'd say about you?"
After I stopped laughing,
I told the interviewer—who happened to be my then boss' boss:
"I'm sorry, but that sounds like a question from the Miss America Pageant."
The interview panel got a laugh out of that. And yes, I did answer the question.
So what odd, absurd or just plain strange interview questions have people gotten?
Reddit user TinyTbird12 asked:
"What is the weirdest question you’ve been asked at a job interview, what happened?"
Apple Jacks Is Even Better
"Went to a job interview at Applebee’s. After going over my extensive work experience in the service industry, the manager asked:"
"If you were a cereal, which one would you be?"
"Me: 'Mm, I don’t know. Cheerios?'."
"Him: 'Why Cheerios?'."
"Me: '…because I seem like a Cheerio kinda person?'."
"Him: 'Hmm. Most people say Fruit Loops, because they’re fun and colorful'."
"Me: 😐"
"I did not get the job."
~ Numerous_Age_3223
The Best Medicine
"Do you like to laugh?"
"Asked by the most stoic woman who worked in that office."
"I laughed in response and got the job. Apparently I answered correctly."
~ Danceinthepurplerain
Wut?
"Well, I already know your weaknesses. What are some of your strengths?"
"I had no idea what he was talking about since we never discussed weaknesses."
~ JoshuaByer
No, And Goodbye
"I was asked at an interview if I planned on having kids soon."
"I answered that I was 19 and still living with my parents so, no, I wasn’t but based off him asking that question I didn’t want to work for him and cut the interview short."
"He seemed entirely shocked but I could tell he was asking out of misogyny and not any other reason."
"He was an arse and I’d already decided I didn’t want the job—this was just an excuse to cut the interview short."
~ Chinateapott
"It was 2 guys interviewing me for an ICU RN job. I am female and this was several years ago."
"Their very FIRST question was 'So are you married? Have any kids?'.”
"Which yeah, is maybe small talk, but you can’t ask that in an interview and it’s not your business and why is that the VERY FIRST THING you are saying to me upon meeting me‽‽"
"I said 'Come on, you know you can’t ask that kind of stuff'."
"It was awkward after that and I didn’t get a call back."
~ Free-While-2994
"I was asked in an interview if I had any children. The guy even lamented he knows he isn't supposed to ask me that, but the hours are very strict and people use their kids as an excuse too often to not work their full hours."
"Little Miss Helpful that I was told him then that's how he should phrase the question so as not to appear discriminatory towards women. He looked surprised as I gave him a better script example."
"And then proceeded to answer the more PC version of the question I created and told him, 'I don't have any obligations that would keep me from working the hours and shifts I'd be scheduled for'."
"I was not given a job offer. No surprise there."
"Which was fine and dandy because I wouldn't have wanted to work there anyway for a variety of reasons."
~ NolaJen1120
Were They Applying At X?
"I had an interview where the CEO randomly sat in."
"When he learned about my heritage, the CEO asked what my views were about the current government of the country my parents are from."
"Even the main interviewer cringed and was speechless."
~ Craptardo
Gotcha!
"Interviewer: 'You don't have any kids?'."
"Me: 'No, not yet'."
"Interviewer: 'You're Mexican, aren't you?'."
"Me: 'You can't ask that during an interview'."
"Dude went bright red and apologized immediately before I burst out laughing. The interview was going well and I already had the job in the bag. At this point we were more or less just chatting."
~ messonamission
Is It A Job Requirement?
"If I hire you as the HR manager will you go and f*ck all the nurses? Because that is what the former HR manager did."
"Interviewer was the Hospital CEO."
~ heartofgold48
Run, Girl, Run!
"I got hired and quit the same day. I turned 19 and was looking for something full time. I got a call for an interview at some promotion business."
"I got called into a room where my potential new boss was sitting. He was very friendly and nice but it all became very very weird very quickly."
"He asked me normal interview questions: 'What made you want to apply? Do you have experience in promotion work? Where do you see yourself in this company?'."
"Eventually he trailed off to make small talk which would be normal if it wasn’t weird."
"He asked, 'How old are you? Oh wow, you’re young. I think you’ll have an easy time here, you’re very beautiful. Very beautiful. You know, as soon as you walked in here I just felt something. You have such strong energy, I don’t know if it’s that smile or your charisma'."
"I was very shy, I did not have a bubbly personality at all."
"He sent me 'out in the field' alongside another girl to test the waters I suppose. We stood in front of a well known bar where our 'mentor' told us that the promotion at his stand was to sell backpacks for kids in need of school supplies."
"After he explained that, he called my boss and said I was a good fit."
"Immediately after that my boss called and was like, 'I KNEW you had it in you. Ahh, I don’t know what it is about you, [my name] but you just have something amazing going on. I already decided not to go with [other girl's name] because it’s your name I want to see with mine'.”
"I told him I was late for class and sped back to campus where I told my teacher why I was late and what had happened. He advised me to quit immediately."
~ Advanced_District789
Not A Nanny
"What would you do if someone started shouting at you in a meeting?"
"I responded that I'd just leave the meeting. I don't get paid to babysit. if someone wants to act like a child I'll leave them to it. The interviewer seemed taken aback while the other guys where chuckled."
"Turns out the guy who asked the question had a habit of raising his voice to people who disagreed with him."
"I ended up getting the job and found out the guy was just super invested in the product he was developing. Like he had patents on it, books written, etc..."
"So when he's in a meeting and gives an input, and someone disagrees with him, he will not let it go until they are on board because in almost every case he IS right. He was a great guy and I miss working with him."
"He never raised his voice with me, though."
~ shaidyn
Just Plain Wrong
"During an interview my insulin pump went off (it does this quite often). My potential boss asked me if I had to wear it all the time."
"I said yes and explained I was a type 1 diabetic. They then asked me if I could leave my insulin pump in a locker for an 8 hour shift."
"Obviously I can’t."
"It got awkward and I didn’t get the job."
~ kayguy55
Not Long Ago, In An HR Office Not Far Away...
"My GF was recently asked in an interview:"
"What weapon would you want to have in a zombie apocalypse?"
"She answered 'light saber'. They asked why."
"She said because it doesn't run out of ammo or get dull."
"They seemed to like that answer."
~ freezingprocess
Did They Need Help With Theirs?
"How do you tie your shoes?”
"Opening question."
"It honestly helped calm me down and made the interview easier to get through. I brought up the TedTalk on how to properly tie your shoe and the lesson I learned from that."
~ i_like_pretzels
"They really wanted help figuring it out, all the other applicants couldn't teach them."
~ Just-Good-2851
I was the interviewer at different points in my career and I'm struggling to understand the point of some of these questions.
Maybe their lack of purpose is the point.
So what odd, absurd or just plain strange interview questions have you been asked?
Gifts People Really Want For Christmas But Know No One Is Going To Get Them
The holiday season is lovely, but it's full of pressure to travel, plan, host, and of course, get gifts for a lot of people.
But the thing we don't really talk about is how common it is to want something specific and to not have someone in our life who tries to seek out what that thing is.
Unless we get it for ourselves, it's common that we won't get what we actually want.
Redditor GeneralSpectatorTots asked:
"What do you want for Christmas that you know you aren't going to get?"
Sobriety
"My brother to be sober and happy."
- whatwhatwhat82
"I’m also trying to get sober. I wish your brother well. Keep being a support to him."
- Keri2816
A New Home
"A house deposit."
- WolfGirl_4
"A house deposit? Just gift you a house!"
- Grenflik
A Financial Advantage
"A winning lottery ticket."
- Krem541
"Every year I ask Santa. Every f**king year."
- kuchikopi626
Grandma's Homecooked Meals
"One last meal from my grandma. She made the best food, and of course, you don't know the last time is going to be the last time until it's too late."
- fakefishy
Family Love
"Love from my parents."
- bub_501
"This mom is sending you a long hug."
- hippocampus237
A Professional Massage
"A gift certificate for a professional massage. I can't bring myself to spend the money on myself. I need to just bite the bullet and do it."
"I have asked for one every year for years. Sometimes it's the only thing I ask for from my parents and my partner (when they ask what I want)."
"I always get wonderful gifts that I love, use, and/or needed but I REALLY WANT A F**KING MASSAGE."
- agbmom
The Best Neighbor
"A card from my twin brother saying, 'Just kidding, I’m not moving to Washington, I actually found a place in your neighborhood!'"
- insertcaffeine
Very Important Things
"Free Healthcare and a good used car for my husband."
- Sufficient_Letter883
The End to Ableism
"Independence and not being infantilized because I’m a 37-year-old disabled woman and no one in my family understands (extended family who all live within 10 mins of me)."
- Keri2816
World Travel
"Guilt-free travel! It's like asking for a never-ending vacation. How I wish I could just hop around the world without worrying about a thing!"
- KayleNewirk
Sounds Like Paradise
"A pretty, and big apartment for me and my cat."
- cats-autumn
"For my cat to let me sleep through the night."
- Cheese_BasedLifeform
Moving Solutions
"A stress-free move, with eight days between closings of two houses four states apart, and four pets to manage in temporary housing. Help me, Santa, I’ve been a good girl."
- Kind-Dust7441
Ready To Be Done!
"For my doctoral capstone paper to finally be approved so I can be done with school! Please, please, Santa, I’m on rewrite 19!"
- TomatilloNo4213
Two Front Teeth
"My two front teeth... My two front teeth."
"But seriously, teeth."
"Mine are all falling out due to an autoimmune disease, and I need implants."
- donkeybrainz13
The Perfect Partner
"A partner to go on adventures with… have singalongs with… and who adores and truly sees me."
- miaoouu
While we may have been expecting some silly responses, or even for someone to finally buy the right brand of a favorite candle or lotion or makeup, these responses were a great reminder of what's really important.
And unfortunately, many of the most important things can't be replaced or fit into a Christmas stocking.
Breaking up is hard to do no matter who initiated it.
But once time has passed and exes have moved on, the healing process can be jarred by a surprise.
A regretfilled person may try and make contact with the one they broke up with and ask for forgiveness, or the person who had their heart broken could also reappear and plead for a fresh new start.
The outcome depends on how much, or how little, the spark of love remains.
Curious to hear more of this scenario from strangers online, Redditor XenaVonKeksdose asked:
"What would you say to your ex if they suddenly showed up at your door?"
For these Redditors, it wouldn't be a happy reunion.
Either, Or
"It ranges from 'come on in and make yourself comfortable' to 'get the f'k out of here' , depending on which one shows up."
– Lone_Buck
"Odds of it being the one who got away: low."
"Odds of it being the one who took 5 years to understand what 'f'k off' meant: pretty high."
– liquid_acid-OG
It's A Nightmare
"Screaming. They've passed."
– BigGrayBeast
"Similar situation here. I did have a dream that my late wife showed up at my door. She said, 'There was a mix up at the coroner, you wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through.”'
"Still in the dream we talked for a bit about nothing. Then I said, 'Wait, what about the life insurance, do we have to pay it back?' And just after that I woke up."
– AnonEMoussie
No Thanks
"Nah"
"Slowly closes the door while maintaining eye contact."
"Also aggressively locks the door."
– SnooCats7666
"raises drawbridge."
– lunalives
Some would show traces of resentment.
Unwelcome
"The f'k do you want? And how did you get this address?"
– s73v3m4nn
"wtf ffs"
– zxr7
Too Little Too Late
"You couldn't put in effort in messaging me, but you have effort now to see me months after we break up‽"
– ShyTerraWolf
"Wait, if you’re here who’s running hell?”
– So__bored
"Who’s guarding HADES."
– Boostio_TV
Hit 'Em Where It Hurts
"I lost weight... You seem to have found it."
– elmo-1959
"now get the f'k off my lawn."
– starkresilient
"Savage."
– 20190229
Others shared less bitter responses.
Coming Clean
"Honestly, I apologize. I know dealing with my prior alcoholism must have been a nightmare. I regret causing you and anyone else pain and hope you are happy. I am a year into sobriety and can understand why it ended. I wish you well."
"Edit: Since this is getting so much traction, I just want to say thanks for all the support. This could honestly be directed at a few of my exes. I am happily married now to someone that also got a taste of my drinking. We stuck it out while I got sober and I have to credit her with being an amazing support system. I also need to shout out r/stopdrinking for providing reinforcement on a daily basis. It is a great community. Naltrexone was also a major part of it. I can't change the past but I think I have a much better hold on the future."
– vivazeta
Someone That I Used To Know
"I've been married for almost 25 years, I don't know if I would even recognize any exes."
– 4a4a
"Yep. That person went from 'ex' to 'someone I once dated' years ago."
– ktwhite42
Expressing Regrets
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you."
– warlordwinters
"Good on you for growing."
– Zealousideal_Ad_7465
Catching Up
"I’d say hello! What are you doing here? It has been a long time."
– ExaminationLucky6082
Wish You Well
"A lot of snarky or comical answers in here, but I'll try to be as sincere as I can."
"My first major ex, first time I got my heart broken: I would sincerely hope that she's doing well. She broke my heart, but it was for the best and it made me into the man I am today. I don't want to think of how much worse I would be if she hadn't given me a reality check wake-up-call. So really just 'Hey, how have you been? I hope the years have been kind to you.'"
"My most recent ex, the first and only time I've had to break someone's heart: I honestly just hope that she can forgive me for having to make taking care of myself and my needs the priority in my life. She's an amazing woman, kindergarten school teacher, unanimously adored by everyone that meets her. But we met via travels, and lived in two different states. Circumstances shifted and seeing each other became much less frequent. Neither of us wanted to quit our jobs and chuck a grenade into our lives and careers. Eventually, for my own mental and emotional health, I had to call it. I truly hope she finds someone amazing, she deserves it. So I would just sincerely hope that she understands, and has moved on."
– obaterista93
I once showed up at an exes door after I broke up with him about a month prior.
I genuinely loved and missed him after making the very difficult decision to end things due to conflicting circumstances that kept us from maintaining a healthy relationship.
But I quickly learned that if you did the breaking up, you should respect the other person's space for a respectable amount of time.
I went to visit him at the apartment where we lived together and a new lover answered the door for him after there was a long period of giggles and lots of feet shuffling from behind the door.
Clearly, he was doing just fine.
Of course, I wasn't welcomed in and was asked what I wanted, to which I had no answer but, "do you have any mail for me?"
Indigenous Americans Share Their Tribe's Best Ghost Stories And Legends
People the world over develop their own specific folklore, heavily influenced by the natural world around them and their own culture.
The North American continent was no different.
Reddit user A_KULT_KILLAH wanted to know about the myths and legends of the Indigenous peoples of North America.
They asked:
"Native Americans of Reddit, what are your or your tribes ghost stories, legends, or supernatural occurrences?"
Here are some of the interesting legends and superstitions of North America's First Nations and Indigenous tribes.
Uktena
Brice Cooper on Unsplash
"Uktena. It's a legend about a horned snake in Tsalagi [Cherokee] legend. Uktena is said to be very large and round like a tree trunk, with horns on his head."
"The only way to wound him is to shoot at a singular spot on his forehead that emits bright light. It's similar to a diamond. If you defeat Uktena, you become a miracle worker."
"A great warrior. Yet, once you see the light of his forehead, you run toward it instead of trying to escape."
"Even to see Uktena sleeping is death. Not to the hunter, but to his family."
~ Faith-Hope-TacoBell
Dog Tails or Why They Sniff Each Other
gotdaflow on Unsplash
"Lenni Lenape story about why dogs sniff each other's butts."
"When the humans slept, dogs would get together and party, but not before taking their tails off. They'd dance the entire night, put their tails back on and return home."
"But one time a wolf found them and all the dogs had to scramble away to their homes for safety, but a lot of them grabbed the wrong tail."
"They never danced again at night because they were afraid of the wolf, so they were stuck with weird mismatched tails for the rest of their lives."
"This is the reason that dogs sniff each other's butts; to see if the other dog has their tail."
~ ChurroChick
Haida Raven Brings Light to the Earth
Cristina Glebova on Unsplash
"In the beginning there was no light in the world, because an old magician kept it hidden in a box inside his house. Raven, who was always hungry, didn't like the darkness because it was difficult to find food."
"One day he was looking for food near the old magician's house. He heard a voice saying, 'I have a box, and inside this box is another box, and inside this there is another box, and inside the smallest box is all the light in the world'."
"Raven decided to steal the light."
"Raven waited until the old man's daughter went down to the river to collect water. Just as she was dipping her basket into the river, he changed himself into a hemlock needle."
"The needle floated into her basket. When the girl drank some water, she swallowed Raven too."
"Inside the girl's belly Raven took the form of a human baby. He grew and grew, and in time she gave birth to a funny looking child with black eyes and a big nose."
"The old man loved his grandson so much that he gave in to the child's every wish. Raven became spoilt and greedy. He was bored with all his toys, and wanted to play with the box that held the light."
"Finally the grandfather opened the box and tossed the glowing ball of light to Raven."
"As soon as Raven caught the light, he immediately changed into his bird form. Holding the light in his beak, he flew up the chimney hole into the dark world."
"The magician was angry. He wanted to get the light back into his box."
"He flew after Raven."
"The light was heavy in Raven's beak, and he was getting tired. The magician was coming closer."
"Raven broke off some pieces of the light and threw them into the sky. They became the stars."
"The magician was still coming closer, so Raven broke off another piece of the light and threw it into the sky. It became the moon."
"Finally Raven became so tired that he tossed the last and biggest piece of the light into the sky. It became the sun; and that is how daylight came to the world."
~ deviety
Nakani
Oliver Roos on Unsplash
"Dené from northern British Columbia here, my mom used to always tell me stories of the Nehgunni [Nakani], or bushmen/wild-men when I was young."
"They were people who lived in the forest and took away people who wandered too far out, specifically children."
"I always figured these stories were created by my people to serve two purposes, first to teach young children to not wander far off, and second to give explanations to kidnappings or missing people."
~ spanishLION
See-at-coh
green trees near lake under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Jasper Gronewold on Unsplash"See-at-coh (don't know the translation in English) is a Cowlitz legend. Lived at this lake and it was his spot."
"We DO NOT go there or he will kill you. Used to have nightmares about him based on what I was taught as a kid."
"Like how you could stand at the edge of the water and be looking in and he would come out of it and just grab you. No whistling at night and keep windows covered."
"But then the mountain blew up [Mt. Saint Helen] and filled in the lake so don't know if he's still around or not."
~ kalimah1
Nahual of Mexico
Joshua Wilking on Unsplash
"I live in rural Mexico. There are many, many different Indigenous peoples in what's now Mexico."
"The ones who settled here speak Nahuatl—the language of the Aztecs. This legend took place in the early 1900's."
"One of my favourite Nahuatl myths is the Nahual."
"Some people were thought to be able to turn into an animal. Most of them could only turn into one, but the most powerful Nahual could turn into different animals."
"There was a man who owned a hacienda where my town is, and he had a sort of overseer that everyone was afraid of."
"Said overseer could take a message all the way to the next state (think hundreds of miles) and bring back a sealed response in a single day."
"He also seemed to know everything everyone did, all the time. He was rumoured to be a Nahual that could turn into a coyote and an eagle."
"His quarters were heavily warded in his absence, which only added fuel to the rumor. You can only kill a Nahual if you find the human skin he sheds to transform and burn said skin."
~ CTalina78
Yamǫ́rıa & Yamǫǫ̀zha
Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
"Yamǫ́rıa & Yamǫǫ̀zha—the giant twins [of the Dené]."
"There are landmarks all around the territory I live in that is exhibited as 'proof' they were alive."
"In the middle of the Mackenzie river( biggest river in the NorthWest Territories) there is a large stone sticking out of the river which looks like the petrified guts of a beaver, there is a giant branchless, leafless tree sticking out of the top of this stone."
"It is said that Yamǫǫ̀zha had hunted a giant beaver and gutted him there in the river. He used his spear to anchor down the cuts so fish may feed on them. They are still there to this day."
"Yamǫ́rıa's body can be seen laying down, it is essentially a mountain range that looks like a giant human laying on his back, completely with face and feet. This can be seen from the peak of the hill as you enter a town called Ft. Liard, the southwestern most town in the NWT."
Walking Sam of the Pine Ridge Reservation
Boston Public Library on Unsplash
"'Walking Sam' skulks in the shadows of the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota and convinces people to take their own lives, especially young people."
"He's 7 feet tall, very thin and has no mouth. When he stretches out his long arms, nooses hang down with Lakota children hanging from them."
"Walking Sam finds you when you're alone and puts thoughts in your head until you feel worthless and kill yourself.
"Sometimes Walking Sam is depicted looking like Abraham Lincoln, complete with the stovepipe hat. 'Walking Sam', 'Uncle Sam', I don't know if that's where the name came from."
"But Walking Sam is an evil infected upon the people when the Oceti Sakowin were forced onto the reservations; he isn't a legend of the people before Pine Ridge Reservation existed."
"Lincoln was President when the Lakota were being forced onto reservations. Lincoln also ordered the execution of 38 Lakota men the day after Christmas in 1862. It's the largest mass execution in U.S. history."
"I always thought Walking Sam was Lincoln. They carved his face onto Ŝa´kpe Tuŋkaŋŝi (Mount Rushmore was called Six Grandfathers) in the Paha Sa´pa (Black Hills)
"My Father attended Holy Rosary boarding school at Pine Ridge in the 1940s & 1950s, but our people didn't live on the reservation. My Grandmother said evil stalked the people there."
"My Father never wanted us to ever even visit any of our cousins or his Uncles there."
~ LakotaGrl
Este Lopocke or Este Lubutke
Morgane Perraud on Unsplash
"Miccosukee [Seminole] tribal member here (South Florida) and for us it's the little people."
"Essentially really small people (like barbie doll sized and smaller) that live in the trees. They play jokes and stuff mainly, unless you piss them off."
"Had family members get tricks played on them that couldn't be explained."
"And then we have our fair share of stories that circulate our reservation like a tribal member being taken by the little people."
"All on the reservation in the Everglades (like 40 mins west of Miami)."
~ SSBMBabyCakes
Haudenosaunee Rules
Chris Chow on Unsplash
"I know the Haudenosaunee [Iroquois Confederacy] rules."
"1. If you hear someone you know calling your name, but you also know they are not supposed to be there, DON'T respond. Especially if they are out of sight and insisting you come to them."
"2. Always play group games in counter-clockwise order, otherwise your playing with the dead."
"3. Also don't eat in the dark, this is considered inviting the dead to eat with you. If you can extend your hand all the way out and still see it clearly then your fine."
"4. Don't play card games past midnight. If you do, and someone knocks at the door, don't answer it."
"5. Try not to drop your cards, if you do then don't bend down to pick them up, or you will see hooves under the table. That's bad."
"6. Say thank you after meals, even if you're the one that made it. Even better if you say it in native tongue."
"7. If someone finishes their meal and says thank you, you say 'you're welcome', even if you didn't give it to them. Even better in native tongue."
"8. After someone dies, you should gather family as quickly as possible to have feasts for 10 days. The first dinner is large, then every meal after that is a smaller feast meant for portions of the family to come at different times to help.
"The last feast on the 10th day is the closing dinner, which is the largest, with the entire family expected to show up and help. For every meal of these 10 days, put out a plate of the deceased's favorite foods first."
"Contrary to rule 6, you do not say thank you at any time during these 10 days. This is because it is believed that it takes the dead 10 days to relive their lives before they pass on, so this is your last chance to eat with them."
"Saying 'Thank you' during this time will make them stop before they're done because you're saying you're done. This will have bad consequences."
"9. Don't try to contact spirits, especially with board games. This is not a tribe custom, it's more of an unspoken common sense among the Rez people."
"10. If a bird flies into your house, someone's going to die."
"11. Pregnant woman should not hold any child that isn't theirs."
"12. It's accepted that if you actually try to curse someone, literally going through all of the steps with the intention of harm, not accidentally wishing them bad luck, then your family will also be cursed horribly."
"13. If you play with fire you'll wet the bed."
~ kinda-always-hungry
To learn more general information about Indigenous mythology of the United States, visit the Smithsonian's National Museum of the American Indian website.
For Canada, visit the First Nations in Canada website.
For information about specific tribes, visit their tribal government website for recommended resources.