Drug Dealers Explain Why They've Called Child Protective Services On Their Customers
It's always interesting to hear about a "flipped script" situation.
For example, most people wouldn't think that dealers would call government officials on their clients, since they are generally breaking the law themselves.
But sometimes the situation just demands it.
u/Many-Bees asked:
[Serious] Drug dealers of Reddit, have you ever called CPS on a client? If so, what's the story?
Here were some of those answers.
A Happier Ending
This was a long time ago, and I've since gotten clean and started my own family.
But there was a girl I knew who was homeless with her newborn son. On Easter weekend, I was walking on this trail to go meet with some people to sell them a sack. It started raining and that, of course, made me mad. There's these bridges that cross over the top of the trail and lots of kids gather and smoke or get spun under the bridges...
And that's where I found her. She was passed out drunk with some random guy under the bridge while her newborn baby sat strapped in his car seat in the rain. He wasn't under the bridge. He was crying. And he looked dirty.
I didn't have any children at this point, but I panicked seeing the little guy. I grabbed him, dropped all the shit I was supposed to be selling, and walked off the trail and up the couple blocks to the police station. I told them what happened and where I'd found him. Cps took him and he ended up getting adopted.
How To Save A Life
When I was selling to her a lady SHOOK HER CRYING BABY in front of me. I wigged out, took the baby, dumped ~500 worth of goods and called 911 from my car. She didn't put up a fight until the cops came to arrest her. She tried to sue me for kidnapping.
Definitely not the best strategy for me (I was 18 and addicted pretty bad) but when the baby saw a doctor under state care he was covered in bruises, a couple of burns, and had 2 broken ribs already. I'm convinced she would have killed him. He's ten now and happy and thriving. The whole experience (and legal battle when she tried to have me charged with kidnapping) is how I got sober.
A Life On Drugs
I used to deal way back when I was a hot mess in an extremely abusive relationship. I called CPS on not only 1 person, but 6. The one that sticks with me most though, not only because of the severity but because I called twice, was this couple who used to pick up from me at a laundromat and we ended up seeing each other often enough I felt okay to go to their place. I was so floored when I stepped through that door.
I kid you not, they had taken up all the carpeting in the house, and had torn down the walls to get at the copper wiring and pipes. They had no electricity or running water. There was nothing in that house except for some sleeping bags in what used to be the living room. And then I noticed a nest of blankets with bright blue eyes peering at me over the pile and realized that there was a toddler and a small child no more than 5. Until this point, I had never seen nor heard them talk about having kids.
The poor kids were filthy and obviously malnourished. The house stunk of meth so badly I gagged. I couldn't believe it. I guess the look of shock was super apparent on my face because the dad said they were squatting and introduced me to their kids. I made some small talk and then left. The phone was ringing for CPS before I closed my car door. I gave them the address and let them know the conditions of the home and they were squatting with two small children. Gave the names of the parents as I knew them and the names of the kids.
They ended up going to jail for the squatting and the kids went to live with a relative. They ended up contacting me back to sell to them after they were bailed out of jail and I never responded. However, the guy I was with at the time ended up selling to them and they were living in a field in a tent with the kids. I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend over it and was so disgusted he still sold to them. I ended up calling CPS on them again. From what I heard from other people that knew them, the kids were taken permanently after that and about a year later the mom ended up going to prison for attempted murder and the dad went to prison for check fraud some weeks after that.
A Mess, And A Danger
Former dealer here. I once had a lady come in the trap house with a newborn. She was literally selling herself and or her baby for a "a few rocks". When I saw the newborn in used diapers and dirty AF I let her smoke and leave. I also called - BCW - Bureau of Children's Welfare on her as soon as she walked out. She lived on my street. I couldn't let her try to sell her baby. I couldn't let her keep it either. I just couldn't call the police. The baby was in a foster home less than a week later. The lady disappeared shortly after. I never saw her again. I hope she never got the baby back. She was a real piece of work.
Why Don't People Care About Their Babies?
Ah yes back when I was younger, maybe 17 I got my first job at Domino's pizza. One of my managers was a really scummy 24 year old guy that looked like a troll, had astoundingly bad hygiene and also a bad attitude but sold good weed and bought me cigarettes. This was my first experience having older friends able to get me good stuff on demand like that. One day he hooked me up with a friend of his that was selling mushrooms, so I met with that guy and bought an ounce, and then walked to my managers house to sell him some and also get some weed. So turns out him and his similarly aged sister, who has a 1 year old baby, both live in makeshift bedsheet bedrooms in the basement of the tiny house.
They smoked inside, windows closed. Cats everywhere, bugs everywhere, weird gross sour smells coming from all areas. Everything gross. Their mom was home but she was senile and addicted to painkillers (as well as the sister). So we did the trade downstairs and when I go back upstairs I go to the kitchen to throw some stuff away and I see the baby in a highchair.... Eating a pack of cigarettes. He's just sitting there tearing them open and putting in his mouth and spitting it out. I ran downstairs and told the sister and she just started yelling "mom! Mom get the baby!", a couple times lazily, then gives up and goes back to just sitting there. It was surreal. I hadn't ever experienced such neglect and disgust from people. I left and waited 2 days to call cps because I didn't want my manager to know it was me who called. I know the kids got taken away and she went to live with a different family member, or at least that's what I was told.
Let Kids Be Kids
Twice. Left anonymous tips, which I know are hard to follow up for such a strained child protection agency, but as dealer it was all I felt I could do.
I found out later one of the kids was put into foster care, adopted by the foster parents, and recently graduated a trade school.
I have no idea about the other kids (siblings). But I hope they made it too.
Kids should be protected. Humans only get one childhood. Let's let kids enjoy it, and grow to happy adults. Don't hurt them intentionally or by your own stupidity**.
**that also means washing your hands people.
When/if you need to report to CPS you flood them with details. Lots of details. It's the only way they can act. A one sentence tip won't cut it.
So...You're Poisoning Your Kids
A friend of my girlfriend introduced us to her neighbors who were like 50-60 year old hippies that looked like a bad acid trip but bought weed regularly for full price.
Couple months down the road they start being more friendly with my girlfriend and I and start talking more when we'd go drop off the stuff. The topic began with her telling us how she has custody of her daughters oldest born because her daughter was sitting time at a women's prison. Back story on the kid - looks 15 but clearly has the mind capacity of a 6 or 7 year old, not sure what was wrong with her specifically but you could tell there were issues. Near the end of the conversation about her daughter she brought up the fact that her granddaughter was prescribed adderall 30xr and whenever they got her prescription they'd dump all the little beads into a bowl to use whenever they couldn't find meth or whatever they needed and instead fill the adderall with Benadryl to make the kid sleep.
Till this day I'll never forget the emotions I felt after getting out of there and sitting in my car. My hands were shaking so bad it was hard to google information about cps, much less type information in. I felt goosebumps in every pore of my scalp. As a father of two I never knew such evil existed. Obviously in movies but never experienced something first hand like that.
The Lives In The Long Run
This is a sad story but I'll tell it anyways because it was the past. There have been sooo many stories but this one takes the cake. It's the reason I stopped selling and turned my life around.
I must've been 16 or 17 at the time. I was in High School, also had a part time job at Dairy Queen and on top school and regular job, I was also selling weed and cigarettes at school.
This story involves a crack user. At the time of this incident, I've already been selling hard for about 1 or 2 years. Profit was pretty good (I'd say around $300 per day on average which was great for my age) but I spent money as fast as it came, I was young and I was dumb.
So the incident is in this addicts house. He (about 50 year old man) has a girlfriend/partner or something like that. The girlfriend had a little boy, maybe the age of 3/4/5. At the time I didn't know how to tell how old a kid was. I didn't ask either because I was ashamed of myself for not preventing his mother from using. This kid though, I felt like he was my little brother in some way, I would cook for him when he was hungry and his mom was always too messed up to do anything.
One day, I go to work at the shack. It was a regular day. I get into the house, get my products ready, weigh out the stuff and bag them up. Knock on the bedroom door of the guy (home owner), I see him sleeping. His girlfriend is also on the couch sleeping because she is always high and messed up. The kid is just sitting there watching TV. I make him some macaroni and cheese.
Now I gotta wake up the guy because I need an update on what products he's moved the day before. So I go in his room. I see his eyes were still open. White foam all over him like he's overdosed. It's normal for me to see overdoses but this was beyond an overdose. He's been overdosed for too long which means he's dead. He was probably overdosed for at least 10 hours because I could smell it and he was cold to the touch. His vomit was dried and his eyes were dried.
Now I'm in one of the biggest panics I've ever been in. As I'm trying to figure out what to do, I sit down with the kid and stay there until he finishes his mac n cheese, thinking about what I'm going to do next. His mom, sleeping behind me on the couch is still alive but has no idea what'd happened or maybe she does, I don't know.
I left the shack. Drove about 2 blocks away. Use the prepaid cell phone I have to call the police and report it. Sat in my car until the police showed up.
From that day on, I am anti-hard drugs. I still wonder about the little kid, he's probably 16 now without a mom. Every time I see the mac n cheese at the supermarket I get this awful feeling in my gut. And for the guy that died, I know I didn't kill him (I've accepted that), but could he have lived longer if I was never in his life? His life story was pretty amazing, he did cool things when he was young. He got into drugs when his mom passed away, he didn't have a dad though.
One tip for anyone reading this: Never judge a person on where they are in life, even if they are "crack heads" as many people would say. Some people go through the most brutal situations and have no love and support to get on their feet. I'm glad I was able to be the mans friend before he died and I know I treated the kid as a big brother/father and I hope he remembers that part.
Things That Turn Your Life Around
Yes. I was a stupid teenager and thought I was a hot-shot from selling to my peers. The money was nice but at the time it was more for social standing. Eventually it got so out of hand that I was selling to peoples uncles, fathers, aunts, and cousins. It was pretty daunting as a teenager but like I said, the money way good and so was the social standing
One day a buddy calls me up and asks me if I'm good go. I tell him yes and ask him how much. He informs me that its for his mom (that he doesn't live with) and we go through the whole dance of him calling her, then calling me, then calling her again to set up the deal.
Eventually the amount and price gets set and I hop in my old car to the next town over to make the deal. Now I'm used to nasty houses. I live on the cusp of suburbs, city, and rural, so you see all sorts of folks in your daily life. But this one was a special little house. The best way I can set the scene up is the scene in breaking bad when Jesse goes into those meth heads house, but they weren't on meth.
Ive seen my fair share of dope-heads but these took the cake. It took about 30 minutes for them to let me in and when they did the stench was like a punch in the face. You couldn't even see the floor. All sorts of trash covering the carpet of the apartment. Honestly at this point it didn't even phase me, I made the deal and took the money but during the awkward small-talk I heard a little "coo" from the room over.
Im not the most confrontational person but they were so strung-out that I wasn't threatened at all. I asked them what that sound was and they said it was their baby. I asked how old. they said 7 months. I immediately took stock of the room around me. Rotting food, cat poo, garbage bags everywhere.
I left that apartment complex and sat in my car debating whether I would get busted if I called the police. Eventually I googled CPS and made an anonymous claim. Nothing happened to me and the kid got taken away.
Neither of them know it was me that called and I stopped selling and went through rehab in 2016. Clean ever since. Judging by their facebooks they're still trying to get that kid back. I really hope they don't.
Do Your Part For Your Kids
Not sure if this counts, but in the late 1990s, I used to sell part-time while I was in college. One of my regular customers turned his sister on to me. She called for a delivery. No big deal. I went there one time... She had three little kids. Like a couple toddlers and an infant. Her house was FULL of cockroaches. I was disgusted. I called CPS. Not because of the drugs and babies, but because of how filthy that house was. It caused a lot of problems for her and her boyfriend. They were in the system for a long time. Not sure how it all turned out. But, screw that woman.
When we go to sleep, we slip into one of the most vulnerable positions we can possibly embody. And we do that every single day.
So it's hardly surprising that, at least a few times throughout our lives--maybe more than a few--we find ourselves snatched from slumber, and left sitting started and defenseless against a threat we can barely make out in those first few seconds.
But for all the vagueness of those first few sensations, we sure do remember those horrible awakenings rather vividly.
And recently, some folks on the internet shared their most memorable experiences.
Redditor ScoopySnacks829 asked:
"What's the worst thing you woke up to?"
Many Redditors encountered animals in the dead of night. The creepy crawling hands and mouths were enough to make their skin crawl.
Pests Everywhere
"My grandmother had a filthy house and made me and my brother sleep on the floor whenever we were over."
"Once I woke up with a rat tangled in my waist length hair. I was 8"
"Another time I woke up to see a giant roach crawl. Out of my brother's mouth as he was sleeping. (I never told him as I figured he would rather live in blissful ignorance.) I was 9."
"To this day have a fear of Rats, roaches, and sleeping on floors."
Double Whammy
"A dog's paw in my mouth and getting stepped on the balls at the same time" -- Lower_Environment774
Only Thin Nylon Between You and It
"The sound of a bear outside my tent. Got my heart racing." -- SingLikeTinaTurner
"Oh fu** okay, so I once was woken up by a bear paw to the head. It was just fu**ing around with our tarp but I'm tall so the top of my head stuck out just a tad. It felt like being brained with a sandbag."
"It was a black bear and ran off when we made a bunch of noise, but I'll never forget the few moments of sheer terror, head reeling and seeing that bear paw slide next to my face." -- Cthulhu_sneeze
Fresh Kill
"Blood all over the bed that I was in. Then I saw the flyscreen had been torn open. Then I heard a crunching noise. And then I saw the cat with the remains of a magpie."
-- ArtisFarkus
Others shared the times they encountered a personal tragedy immediately upon waking up in the morning.
Gruesome Details
"woke up to the news one of my best friends family had been murdered in an arson attack and that he had tried to save them and had 3rd degree burns over 70% of his body..."
Devastating News
"I woke up to my dad telling me my mom had a brain tumor."
"It was during a sleepover with my best friend at the time. I knew they were going to get her an MRI because she had been having really bad chronic headaches, but none of us expected brain cancer."
"When they removed the tumor two weeks later they removed a baseball and a half sized mass of tumor from her right frontal lobe. She's alive and well now 15 years later, thank god, but that was an awful time for everyone in our family."
-- fishycaitlin
The Worst Reason to Get Up and Go
"My uncle calling me in the middle of the night to tell me my mom was in the hospital, and that I should fly out as soon as possible if I wanted to be able to say goodbye."
Finally, some people discussed the times they felt threatened by other human beings that clearly did not have their best interests at heart.
Just What Did They Want
"Someone jiggling the handle on my door, trying to get in to my apartment. Scary as fu**. I don't know if he was drunk and thought it was a different apartment, or if he was just going door to door, seeing if any were unlocked."
-- jeeub
Remember Goodfellas?
"My ex-girlfriend pointing an unloaded gun (I thought it was loaded) at me. She pulled the trigger and she wanted to scare me, she thought I was cheating on her with a friend of mine (a female)."
-- DayMack8006
It Gets Worse and Worse
"When I was like 16, the landlord and a couple of other men (LEOs of some sort, presumably, but I didn't get a good look at them) came in to physically evict my mother and I from the duplex we lived in at the time, something I had no idea was in at all."
"Like, we apparently went through the entire eviction process without me getting even a slight sniff of it. I slept naked even back then, so basically, I was awakened by two or three strange men coming into my bedroom."
"I threw on a cream-colored dress and got the fu** out of there, having no other option obviously, and went to my mother's workplace in a panic...where one of her coworkers gently pointed out that I had started my period, which was obvious from a distance, apparently."
-- Grave_Girl
Here's hoping this list won't give you trouble falling to sleep tonight.
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Simply put, the line between needs and desires becomes blurry without us even realizing it.
That is, until we look at our bank statement at the end of the month, suppressing the tears and horrified shrieks that want to leap out of us.
But with the help of a recent Reddit thread, perhaps there is hope. Maybe taking stock of exactly which unnecessary places that money is going can help us dial it in.
Redditor Rice_Liar asked:
"What is the biggest waste of money?"
Of course, many people mentioned the common vices that have long been dubbed the easiest way to throw your earnings right down the tubes.
The Next One Will Hit, I Know It
"Scratch off lottery tickets. I visited my uncle, and he asked me to help him sort the scratch tickets he had bought that year (I guess if you collected enough non-winning ones you could turn them in for a small prize?). He had stacks and stacks of tickets. Took us forever to sort them."
"He was proudly telling me about the times he'd won 50 or 100 bucks, but it clearly didn't even begin to break even with the total amount he paid for them."
"I still buy one every once in a while for fun, and know that a lot of people enjoy the thrill of them and don't mind spending a few dollars for it, but seeing how many he had with no worthwhile return except a rare win has definitely stuck with me."
-- yarnfrog
Burning Money
"I just quit smoking and I have to say tobacco, in the Netherlands the pack of tobacco I used to smoke (John player special) costs 14,40 euros or $16.95 dollars according to google u pay that much multiple times a week for something that kills you."
"Any smokers here wanting to quit but can't, just buy a vape pen it makes it so much easier."
-- Gymonx11
Designed to Fail
"Gambling. Most of the time it goes tits up and has ramifications for other people in your life." -- Mgreengo
"Worked at a casino. I saw behind the curtain. You will lose. The only way to win is to accidentally win a jackpot (that you somehow didn't spend over the jackpot amount to win) and walk away never to return." -- Femmefatele
Others discussed those unneeded luxuries that we get lulled into thinking we absolutely need.
For Olympians Only
"buying a house with a swimming pool. Unless you're an avid swimmer, you'll only use it irregularly 2-3 months a year. Requires constant maintenance that cost up to 5k a year."
"If you build the swimming pool after you've bought the house, that's around 30k for a 600 sq2 ft pool. And it most likely will not increase your house' price at all."
-- sagganuts18
The W-Word
"Stupidly expensive weddings" -- FairySpice12
"Napkins - $1"
"Baby Napkins -$5"
"Wedding Napkins- $20" -- OntarioIsPain
How Did They Do That?
"Starbucks. $6 for an iced coffee that usually isn't that great." -- kdub1523
"The $6 'coffees' are usually a drink with a million things added so it doesn't taste like a coffee" -- Main-Argument-5898
And many people took notice of all the money they spend on transactions surrounding our online lives and our relationships to all the new gadgets that make our heads spin.
Monthly Black Holes
"Subscriptions to stuff you don't use anymore." -- StructureMoist
"I feel like you don't need all the streaming services. For me, I have netflix, prime, Disney and Spotify. I pay for prime and Spotify and my boyfriend has Disney and netflix. We share the accounts. I use all of them about about same amount, Spotify the least but I miss it a ton when I don't have it." -- Zanki
Money From An Unseen Source
"Donating to popular streamers they have so much money and they are most likely to not read your donation" -- fiskars12345
"I much prefer to give my money to smaller streamers because they're always so sweet and I like supporting them" -- mintmoonstone
Give It a Few Years
"Latest mobile phones every year with allegedly 'revolutionary' must have new features!" -- MarcDarcy
"I generally skip 3 or 4 generations. Then buy a new phone after I've wrung every last ounce of life out of the old one." -- Majik_Sheff
But It Seemed So Fun For Those Few Seconds...
"buying video games that you'll never play" -- Zack4044
"But it was 75% off, how could I pass up those savings" -- 98raider
"There goes my angry upvote of the day." -- Nidrew
So maybe it's time to face the harsh realities of the monthly statement and see where the big omissions can be.
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| Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay |
You've probably stayed up late watching some television special about a criminal in your area and seen the announcement near the end: "If you have any information, call our tipline." The authorities might even offer a reward of some kind. But what are the chances that you might actually know of the person they're looking for?
People shared their stories after Redditor Renzot56 asked the online community,
"Has anyone here ever actually called into one of the FBI rewards for information on criminals and won the money?"
"My neighbor down the road..."
"My neighbor down the road growing up was always getting into trouble. One day someone robbed a gas station with a gun, and accidentally shot the clerk (so he claimed), and the police didn't know who did it. After about a month, they offered up a small reward for information. The guy arranged to have his wife turn him in to collect the reward, because she would need it since he knew he was going away for a long time."
"Accidentally," huh?
A likely story!
"I felt pretty good..."
"Ten years ago I'm working front desk at this third rate motel and I'm the only employee on property until 7am.
So I get this report of an unruly guest and check it out. Dudes whacked out on something, threatening other guests and I call the cops to remove him. On their way out they tell me he's got active warrants in another state.
I don't think anything of until three months later I got a check sent to me at work from a sheriff's office two states over. Turns out the guy was wanted for a double murder and I got the reward when he was convicted. I felt pretty good about that."
"Both times..."
"My sister has a pretty weird hobby - she solves cold cases by helping match descriptions of bodies that have never been positively ID'd to missing persons matching the body's description. She's solved several cases and submits them to the FBI tip line. Twice now, she's gotten phone calls from law enforcement as a result, one from the FBI and one from a local police department. One had reward money tied to it from long, long ago. She turned it down.
Both times, she's informed the agency calling that the missing person disappeared before she was 10 years old (that's her limit, she doesn't look at recent cases to avoid potential problems), and they just kinda shrug and move on. That's all."
I think I'd be pretty proud if I had Nancy Drew as a sister. Well done!
"I made an anonymous tip..."
"I made an anonymous tip to a local library about someone posting online about wanting to do something sexual in the bathroom of the library.
Local police and FBI gave me a call on my actual number (not the one I used to call in the tip) and asked me a few questions.
Turns out they set up a raid and caught some 19-year old who was trying to meet kids online. Got $500 and they offered to pay me to go on apps/websites like Craigslist and such to find the same kind of people. Was pretty cool."
Wow.
I'm sure that child's parents were rermarkably grateful.
"In college..."
"In college, we had a drive-by shooting on my block. The police showed up and asked all the neighbors if they had any information. I had just heard the shots from my house and wasn't able to help.
A few days later I was walking home from class and I found a shell casing the in the grass near where the shooting was. I didn't want to touch it so I got home and called the police. I was very very specific about exactly where the shell casing was, and that I DO NOT want the police to come to my door. The neighbors were pretty sketchy people and I just didn't want to be seen being involved.
Well, these cops walked right to my door and asked for me. I told them exactly where to find it (again), they walked to the general area, looked for maybe a minute, then walked back to my front door and asked if I could show where it was. Goddamit. So I led them to shell casing while the sketchy neighbors stood on their porch and watched (looking very displeased).
Apparently, the fingerprints on the casing matched one of their suspects and he was arrested and went to jail. The cops stopped by a few months later with a $20 gift card to a sub shop."
All that for $20?
The nerve.
"When living in Minneapolis..."
"When living in Minneapolis, I saw a Craigslist ad looking for a roommate that specifically worked at Minneapolis-St. Paul international airport and had a badge that allowed them to access beyond security.
I alerted the FBI and Minneapolis police through their tip line. Never heard from either of them."
"I'm sure a bunch of people..."
"I called CrimeStoppers once. The local news released a video of someone violently robbing a store. They beat up the cashier pretty badly.
I knew it the second the video started who it was—a guy I used to party with and had spent the night with a few times.
The CrimeStopper folks gave me a number to write down to claim the money if he was convicted. I wrote it on my hand then washed it off accidentally like an idiot. It was on the smaller side, I think around $1k, but it would have made a big difference at the time. And the guy did end up getting convicted and is still in prison now.
I'm sure a bunch of people called in, though, so I don't know how much I would have gotten. Anyone who grew up in my area who was around my age would have known the guy."
A long time ago..."
"A long time ago, 20+ years, a nearby bank was robbed at gunpoint. The article had a very good photo of the guy. Turns out, he was my sketchy neighbor. Saw him that morning, he was still wearing what was shown in the photo.
Long story short, cops bust him, he goes away for a long hitch, they said a small reward is available. Told them to donate it to a nearby animal shelter. Everyone wins! Well, almost everyone."
The animals certainly won this one! Good for them.
"I've sent a few..."
"I've sent a few tips to the FBI over Internet fraud over the years and have never gotten anything other than an automated response and certainly no rewards."
The FBI might want to do something more than just leaving automated messages for their tip line. Who knows? The answer to some long-unsolved cases might be out there... just a phone call away.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Often, high school is where students become rebellious. They're learning about themselves, they're testing boundaries, and they realizing that they can break the rules and sometimes get away with it.
Sometimes they're doing it to mess with a teacher who's treating students unfairly, sometimes they're doing it because they're standing up for the very little autonomy we afford kids in the first place.
Redditor CloudWoww wanted to know about those moments that are unforgettable defiance of authority.
CloudWoww asked:
"What was the most legendary thing a student did at school?"
These stories will amaze you!
Peekaboo!
"My friend once was pissed off at the rest of us guys (5 of us). He chased us into the bathroom because he wanted to be a tough guy and thought one of us was hiding in a stall. He says 'peekaboo I see you!' And kicks the stall door in on a teacher we all knew, taking a crap. The teacher said, 'I see you too Nathan, now close the door.' I will die the day I forget about that lol."
"The teacher's response was legendary!"
"Agreed. Honestly, at that point, what else are you going to do? Invite them in for a cup of tea? Challenge them for the seat? Model the proper way to greet another on the toilet?"
"Teaching is great."
Craigslist.
"This kid in my class put the school for sale on Craigslist. He provided the school's attendance office number as a point of contact because everyone hated the receptionist there. They were getting calls from interested buyers for days who wanted to buy a multiple acres of property with a big swimming pool and a track."
- GhostOO7
"Some kids put up Craigslist ads for free brand new TVs with my school's number listed as the contact and they received thousands of calls by like 10 AM. It was legendary."
A teacher with poor eyesight.
"My English teacher was close to retirement & had really poor eyesight."
"A mate started the lesson on the right side of the classroom & managed to shuffle both himself & his desk to the back of the room and then over to the left."
"He then managed to climb through the window, sauntered round the building, came back into the room & apologized for being late."
"Not even to leave, just to see if he could."
"Yeah, teachers who can't see properly can be pretty funny. I had a teacher like that. During that class, a classmate from our year had a free period and lived too far away from the school to realistically go home. But he had friends in that class, so he just came to that class."
"In the teacher's defense, it was a fairly big class, at least 25 kids, and the kid wasn't disruptive or anything. He didn't actually participate or anything, he just sat there and occasionally talked to his friends while they were working on tasks. It took the teacher several 'visits' to notice that 'visitor,' he seriously didn't notice for several lessons that there was a kid he didn't know."
Teaching the teacher a lesson.
"Teacher everyone hated just cause he was a pure bully. We had a fair snow fall and he was on yard 'patrol' this shy kid launched the perfect snowball 40ft+ and it went in his cup of juice. Splashing out and soaking him. Kid went from 0 to hero real quick! This was approx. 15 years ago and we still talk about it today when I'm with a friend from school."
"Kid is going places."
"Straight to the office, unfortunately, but yes, definitely."
Someone lost their marbles.
"This kid once brought a backpack full, and I mean completely full of marbles to school. He went to the main staircase near the front up the third floor and dumped the whole bag over the stairwell. How those marbles didn't break the glass trophy case at the bottom is beyond me but marbles went everywhere. Surprisingly he never got caught. He either managed to run to one of the stairwells at the end of the hall and get to the bottom before teachers had time to react or he hid somewhere until the first bell rang."
"This happened back in like 2005. Kid went on to disgrace himself and be sentenced 16 years in prison for military espionage....so."
"Did he blame it on losing his marbles?"
The fire alarm.
"A kid hit the fire alarm when the mayor was visiting our school. For context, we had an assembly the week before where we were specifically told not to hit the fire alarm during the mayor's visit unless there was an actual fire, as it was a common occurrence at our school to just hit the fire alarm whenever."
"'Hey Bob, do you have any plans before school?'"
"'Hey Bill, yeah, I'm just going to pull the ol' fire alarm again.'"
"'I got a math test at 10 and I didn't study.'"
"'I have a study hall around then, I'll pull the ol' alarm for you.'"
"We had a kid do this when our state's Supreme Court was doing a presentation or visiting or something. The staff was FURIOUS, everyone knew he did it, and they tried to prove it was him, saw LEOs dusting the handle for prints. There was an old rumor that when you pulled the handle it sprays like an invisible ink visible to black light on your hand, idk if that's true, but I know the kid used his shirt sleeve to cover his hand when he pulled it, so there weren't any prints."
- IDUU
"There was an old rumor that when you pulled the handle it sprays like an invisible ink visible to black light on your hand, idk if that's true."
"This is definitely not true."
"Source: I am a commercial fire alarm technician.
The rumor that we all believed to scare us as kids, turns out was just that: a rumor.
Senior prank that everyone loved.
"The senior prank one year was hiring a mariachi band to follow our principal around all day. He loved it--went classroom to classroom so everyone could see it and take pictures/videos and have a fun break from class."
"A señor prank?"
Standing up for what was right.
"A special needs kid got a two day in school suspension because he threw a sharpened pencil into the drop ceiling tile. He saw a friend of mine do it and thought it was the coolest thing ever."
"A kid on the football team heard about what had happened and protested the suspension directly to the assistant principal. The a** principal stuck firm to his decision and threatened 'and if anyone else gets caught, it will be out of school suspensions….'"
"The following Monday the entire second floor was closed down for the morning. Come to find out the kid and the football team got into the school over the weekend and just blanketed the entire second floor ceiling with sharpened pencils. The video of it was stellar."
These are some legendary moments that every student will remember and can look back on fondly. What we may never know is if they peaked in these moments or went on to do incredible things.
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