Drug Dealers Explain Why They've Called Child Protective Services On Their Customers
It's always interesting to hear about a "flipped script" situation.
For example, most people wouldn't think that dealers would call government officials on their clients, since they are generally breaking the law themselves.
But sometimes the situation just demands it.
u/Many-Bees asked:
[Serious] Drug dealers of Reddit, have you ever called CPS on a client? If so, what's the story?
Here were some of those answers.
A Happier Ending
This was a long time ago, and I've since gotten clean and started my own family.
But there was a girl I knew who was homeless with her newborn son. On Easter weekend, I was walking on this trail to go meet with some people to sell them a sack. It started raining and that, of course, made me mad. There's these bridges that cross over the top of the trail and lots of kids gather and smoke or get spun under the bridges...
And that's where I found her. She was passed out drunk with some random guy under the bridge while her newborn baby sat strapped in his car seat in the rain. He wasn't under the bridge. He was crying. And he looked dirty.
I didn't have any children at this point, but I panicked seeing the little guy. I grabbed him, dropped all the shit I was supposed to be selling, and walked off the trail and up the couple blocks to the police station. I told them what happened and where I'd found him. Cps took him and he ended up getting adopted.
How To Save A Life
When I was selling to her a lady SHOOK HER CRYING BABY in front of me. I wigged out, took the baby, dumped ~500 worth of goods and called 911 from my car. She didn't put up a fight until the cops came to arrest her. She tried to sue me for kidnapping.
Definitely not the best strategy for me (I was 18 and addicted pretty bad) but when the baby saw a doctor under state care he was covered in bruises, a couple of burns, and had 2 broken ribs already. I'm convinced she would have killed him. He's ten now and happy and thriving. The whole experience (and legal battle when she tried to have me charged with kidnapping) is how I got sober.
A Life On Drugs
I used to deal way back when I was a hot mess in an extremely abusive relationship. I called CPS on not only 1 person, but 6. The one that sticks with me most though, not only because of the severity but because I called twice, was this couple who used to pick up from me at a laundromat and we ended up seeing each other often enough I felt okay to go to their place. I was so floored when I stepped through that door.
I kid you not, they had taken up all the carpeting in the house, and had torn down the walls to get at the copper wiring and pipes. They had no electricity or running water. There was nothing in that house except for some sleeping bags in what used to be the living room. And then I noticed a nest of blankets with bright blue eyes peering at me over the pile and realized that there was a toddler and a small child no more than 5. Until this point, I had never seen nor heard them talk about having kids.
The poor kids were filthy and obviously malnourished. The house stunk of meth so badly I gagged. I couldn't believe it. I guess the look of shock was super apparent on my face because the dad said they were squatting and introduced me to their kids. I made some small talk and then left. The phone was ringing for CPS before I closed my car door. I gave them the address and let them know the conditions of the home and they were squatting with two small children. Gave the names of the parents as I knew them and the names of the kids.
They ended up going to jail for the squatting and the kids went to live with a relative. They ended up contacting me back to sell to them after they were bailed out of jail and I never responded. However, the guy I was with at the time ended up selling to them and they were living in a field in a tent with the kids. I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend over it and was so disgusted he still sold to them. I ended up calling CPS on them again. From what I heard from other people that knew them, the kids were taken permanently after that and about a year later the mom ended up going to prison for attempted murder and the dad went to prison for check fraud some weeks after that.
A Mess, And A Danger
Former dealer here. I once had a lady come in the trap house with a newborn. She was literally selling herself and or her baby for a "a few rocks". When I saw the newborn in used diapers and dirty AF I let her smoke and leave. I also called - BCW - Bureau of Children's Welfare on her as soon as she walked out. She lived on my street. I couldn't let her try to sell her baby. I couldn't let her keep it either. I just couldn't call the police. The baby was in a foster home less than a week later. The lady disappeared shortly after. I never saw her again. I hope she never got the baby back. She was a real piece of work.
Why Don't People Care About Their Babies?
Ah yes back when I was younger, maybe 17 I got my first job at Domino's pizza. One of my managers was a really scummy 24 year old guy that looked like a troll, had astoundingly bad hygiene and also a bad attitude but sold good weed and bought me cigarettes. This was my first experience having older friends able to get me good stuff on demand like that. One day he hooked me up with a friend of his that was selling mushrooms, so I met with that guy and bought an ounce, and then walked to my managers house to sell him some and also get some weed. So turns out him and his similarly aged sister, who has a 1 year old baby, both live in makeshift bedsheet bedrooms in the basement of the tiny house.
They smoked inside, windows closed. Cats everywhere, bugs everywhere, weird gross sour smells coming from all areas. Everything gross. Their mom was home but she was senile and addicted to painkillers (as well as the sister). So we did the trade downstairs and when I go back upstairs I go to the kitchen to throw some stuff away and I see the baby in a highchair.... Eating a pack of cigarettes. He's just sitting there tearing them open and putting in his mouth and spitting it out. I ran downstairs and told the sister and she just started yelling "mom! Mom get the baby!", a couple times lazily, then gives up and goes back to just sitting there. It was surreal. I hadn't ever experienced such neglect and disgust from people. I left and waited 2 days to call cps because I didn't want my manager to know it was me who called. I know the kids got taken away and she went to live with a different family member, or at least that's what I was told.
Let Kids Be Kids
Twice. Left anonymous tips, which I know are hard to follow up for such a strained child protection agency, but as dealer it was all I felt I could do.
I found out later one of the kids was put into foster care, adopted by the foster parents, and recently graduated a trade school.
I have no idea about the other kids (siblings). But I hope they made it too.
Kids should be protected. Humans only get one childhood. Let's let kids enjoy it, and grow to happy adults. Don't hurt them intentionally or by your own stupidity**.
**that also means washing your hands people.
When/if you need to report to CPS you flood them with details. Lots of details. It's the only way they can act. A one sentence tip won't cut it.
So...You're Poisoning Your Kids
A friend of my girlfriend introduced us to her neighbors who were like 50-60 year old hippies that looked like a bad acid trip but bought weed regularly for full price.
Couple months down the road they start being more friendly with my girlfriend and I and start talking more when we'd go drop off the stuff. The topic began with her telling us how she has custody of her daughters oldest born because her daughter was sitting time at a women's prison. Back story on the kid - looks 15 but clearly has the mind capacity of a 6 or 7 year old, not sure what was wrong with her specifically but you could tell there were issues. Near the end of the conversation about her daughter she brought up the fact that her granddaughter was prescribed adderall 30xr and whenever they got her prescription they'd dump all the little beads into a bowl to use whenever they couldn't find meth or whatever they needed and instead fill the adderall with Benadryl to make the kid sleep.
Till this day I'll never forget the emotions I felt after getting out of there and sitting in my car. My hands were shaking so bad it was hard to google information about cps, much less type information in. I felt goosebumps in every pore of my scalp. As a father of two I never knew such evil existed. Obviously in movies but never experienced something first hand like that.
The Lives In The Long Run
This is a sad story but I'll tell it anyways because it was the past. There have been sooo many stories but this one takes the cake. It's the reason I stopped selling and turned my life around.
I must've been 16 or 17 at the time. I was in High School, also had a part time job at Dairy Queen and on top school and regular job, I was also selling weed and cigarettes at school.
This story involves a crack user. At the time of this incident, I've already been selling hard for about 1 or 2 years. Profit was pretty good (I'd say around $300 per day on average which was great for my age) but I spent money as fast as it came, I was young and I was dumb.
So the incident is in this addicts house. He (about 50 year old man) has a girlfriend/partner or something like that. The girlfriend had a little boy, maybe the age of 3/4/5. At the time I didn't know how to tell how old a kid was. I didn't ask either because I was ashamed of myself for not preventing his mother from using. This kid though, I felt like he was my little brother in some way, I would cook for him when he was hungry and his mom was always too messed up to do anything.
One day, I go to work at the shack. It was a regular day. I get into the house, get my products ready, weigh out the stuff and bag them up. Knock on the bedroom door of the guy (home owner), I see him sleeping. His girlfriend is also on the couch sleeping because she is always high and messed up. The kid is just sitting there watching TV. I make him some macaroni and cheese.
Now I gotta wake up the guy because I need an update on what products he's moved the day before. So I go in his room. I see his eyes were still open. White foam all over him like he's overdosed. It's normal for me to see overdoses but this was beyond an overdose. He's been overdosed for too long which means he's dead. He was probably overdosed for at least 10 hours because I could smell it and he was cold to the touch. His vomit was dried and his eyes were dried.
Now I'm in one of the biggest panics I've ever been in. As I'm trying to figure out what to do, I sit down with the kid and stay there until he finishes his mac n cheese, thinking about what I'm going to do next. His mom, sleeping behind me on the couch is still alive but has no idea what'd happened or maybe she does, I don't know.
I left the shack. Drove about 2 blocks away. Use the prepaid cell phone I have to call the police and report it. Sat in my car until the police showed up.
From that day on, I am anti-hard drugs. I still wonder about the little kid, he's probably 16 now without a mom. Every time I see the mac n cheese at the supermarket I get this awful feeling in my gut. And for the guy that died, I know I didn't kill him (I've accepted that), but could he have lived longer if I was never in his life? His life story was pretty amazing, he did cool things when he was young. He got into drugs when his mom passed away, he didn't have a dad though.
One tip for anyone reading this: Never judge a person on where they are in life, even if they are "crack heads" as many people would say. Some people go through the most brutal situations and have no love and support to get on their feet. I'm glad I was able to be the mans friend before he died and I know I treated the kid as a big brother/father and I hope he remembers that part.
Things That Turn Your Life Around
Yes. I was a stupid teenager and thought I was a hot-shot from selling to my peers. The money was nice but at the time it was more for social standing. Eventually it got so out of hand that I was selling to peoples uncles, fathers, aunts, and cousins. It was pretty daunting as a teenager but like I said, the money way good and so was the social standing
One day a buddy calls me up and asks me if I'm good go. I tell him yes and ask him how much. He informs me that its for his mom (that he doesn't live with) and we go through the whole dance of him calling her, then calling me, then calling her again to set up the deal.
Eventually the amount and price gets set and I hop in my old car to the next town over to make the deal. Now I'm used to nasty houses. I live on the cusp of suburbs, city, and rural, so you see all sorts of folks in your daily life. But this one was a special little house. The best way I can set the scene up is the scene in breaking bad when Jesse goes into those meth heads house, but they weren't on meth.
Ive seen my fair share of dope-heads but these took the cake. It took about 30 minutes for them to let me in and when they did the stench was like a punch in the face. You couldn't even see the floor. All sorts of trash covering the carpet of the apartment. Honestly at this point it didn't even phase me, I made the deal and took the money but during the awkward small-talk I heard a little "coo" from the room over.
Im not the most confrontational person but they were so strung-out that I wasn't threatened at all. I asked them what that sound was and they said it was their baby. I asked how old. they said 7 months. I immediately took stock of the room around me. Rotting food, cat poo, garbage bags everywhere.
I left that apartment complex and sat in my car debating whether I would get busted if I called the police. Eventually I googled CPS and made an anonymous claim. Nothing happened to me and the kid got taken away.
Neither of them know it was me that called and I stopped selling and went through rehab in 2016. Clean ever since. Judging by their facebooks they're still trying to get that kid back. I really hope they don't.
Do Your Part For Your Kids
Not sure if this counts, but in the late 1990s, I used to sell part-time while I was in college. One of my regular customers turned his sister on to me. She called for a delivery. No big deal. I went there one time... She had three little kids. Like a couple toddlers and an infant. Her house was FULL of cockroaches. I was disgusted. I called CPS. Not because of the drugs and babies, but because of how filthy that house was. It caused a lot of problems for her and her boyfriend. They were in the system for a long time. Not sure how it all turned out. But, screw that woman.
As patients, we rely on the expertise of medical professionals to be able to identify whatever ailments we're suffering through.
We brace ourselves if we fear the worst, but oftentimes, we end up being comforted by a minor diagnosis.
But all the medical degrees and years of education can't teach doctors to practice empathetic, yet professional, doctor-to-patient interaction on a basic human level.
That has to come naturally.
Curious to hear from patients who have had disappointing or distressing interactions with their physicians, Redditor TheSpasticSheep asked:
"What’s the most out of line thing a doctor has every said to you?"

It's horrifying when even doctors don't have a clue about your condition and, even worse, they gaslight you.
Dismissed Diagnosis
"A gentleman I worked with showed up to work one day looking extremely sick. He was incredibly feverish, had muscle and joint aches, very lethargic and was looking very jaundiced."
"we insisted that he go to the doctor, as he looks like he is on deaths door. He told us that he had been to 2 separate doctors and the ER, letting them know that he has Malaria, and can they please give him some anti malarials. Both doctors and the ER insisted that it 'was impossible to have malaria, as Australia doesn't have malaria,' and that he probably just had the flu, or some other viral infection. And they are correct. We don't have malaria here. But, what they failed to grasp was that this gentleman was an expat who worked in Africa for a number of years, and has had malaria 5 times already. So not only is he an expert in what malaria 'feels' like, but he is also at risk of developing malaria again, even if he hasn't been to Africa in a few years."
"He ended up having to go back to the ER, and basically force them to run a test for Malaria, after which they were like 'oh wow, you do have malaria.' And he was like 'no sh*t, i told you that 2 days ago.'"
– PanzerBiscuit
Not Going Mental
"I had smashed my face on my steering wheel during a bad car accident and was experiencing intense pain. I teared up when he put the scope in my nose and was told I obviously have psychological problems and if I went on medication it might not help my pain, but I wouldn't care as much."
"Finally found a good doctor and surgery removed the chunk of nose bone that was stabbing into a nerve in my face."
– coldbloodedjelydonut
The wrong treatment after a misdiagnosis can be a doctor's serious mistake.
Almost Scalped
"I had a growth on my scalp a few years ago and went to see a skin cancer specialist. Who said it was a malenoma and I was going to need most of my scalp removed. Without even having a biopsy. He starts telling me to prepare myself for this surgery that will disfigure me. I was about 19 at the time with long hair. He started saying ill need to wear a wig and my hair may not grow back and the skin above my eyes will need to be removed."
"I was petrified. Went home in tears and absolutely petrified."
"Then my dad took me to his doctor, who took a biopsy."
"It was just a random skin growth and she cut it off then and there."
"Far out."
– catsandalcohol13
Wrong Medication
"Years ago, one of the sexual health nurses at my work told me she just saw a woman who very clearly had a scabies infestation around her genitals. She said the treatment was simple and that a cream was applied with almost instant relief. She said what upset her about that patient was that almost a year earlier she’d been to a doctor about the infestation, the doctor didn’t even inspect her and just prescribed her antidepressants. I was horrified and still am over 7 years later. So much medical gaslighting."
– syberburns
"Too Young" For Cancer
"Not one, but two doctors to my dad- 'you’re too young to have prostate cancer, no need for a biopsy, it’s just a bladder problem.'”
"He died 15 months later from an aggressive prostate cancer that spread to create tumors all over his body."
– OHManda30
The "Sad" Pill
""While teaching abroad in Vietnam I was struggling with depression. The doc diagnosed me with homesickness and prescribed a box of 160 hydrocodone to take 'when I feel sad.'"
"I was 21 and this was 2007, way before pill use was talked about mainstream. Subsequent boxes were $12 each at a walk up pharmacy, no script needed. I became addicted for 6 years."
"Edit, as I have many people stating that pill use has been discussed forever: I’m talking about the point we got to where most people knew about the dangers of opioids, what the main ones were, the fact that they were being overprescribed etc. Had I heard the word hydrocodone and been exposed to the world and media like I have over the last decade with the spotlight on the opioid crisis, I would never have taken them. That’s the main point I was attempting to make."
– dogislove99
It's even more unsettling when someone you entrust your life to crosses a line.
Assessment Or Pick-Up Line?
"Mental health doctor told my daughter, 'You're too pretty to be depressed.'"
– geeleedickert
A NSFW Observation
"Not a doctor, but a dentist. When I was like 13 or 14 he commented on my lack of gag reflex, telling me that I’m going to be 'very popular with the boys.' It took me a few years to realize what he meant by that."
– goldmarigold
Mom To The Rescue
"I was the opposite. My dentist said, 'If you always gag like that, you're never going to find a good husband!'"
"I didn't understand why my mom yanked me out of the dentist's chair, but I'm proud of her for that. I think I was 6 or 7 years old."
– NeedsMoreTuba
The Gynocologist's Love Advice
"Mentioned that my sex drive was abnormally low to my gyno, and she said my husband just needed to be more forceful when initiating and I’d get into it. Immediately switched doctors and never looked back!"
– SpinningBetweenStars
The Gyno Who Jumped To Conclusions
"Mine was the opposite. Moved and went to a new gyno that several women raved about. I expressed concern over my low sex drive (especially since I was only 25). The next thing I know she is giving speeches and pamphlets and trying to give me info on women’s shelters. I was so confused."
"She just jumped to the conclusion I must be a battered woman. No matter what I said, she was convinced I was being abused. I tried to reassure her no, my husband was definitely NOT the problem and he was actually quite good in bed and extremely attentive to my needs. It was clearly a physical problem."
"Never went back. She even called several times to 'check' on me. I get that some women may need this, but I mean there was literally no red flags, quite the opposite. It was weird."
– Drachenfuer
Going to the doctor's office for any reason can cause a lot of anxiety.
Patients should never have their stresses exacerbated by an unqualified doctor giving them a false analysis or downplaying their concerns.
Hopefully, you're in good hands with a physician who is professional, as well as compassionate.
Growing up, I had zero idea that the food I ate daily was "cultural."
It didn't occur to me until I was a kid when my mother had to gently explain to me that not everyone ate rice & beans.
She had to explain it because we were about to eat at a white friend's house for the first time.
I've always been weird about food tastes and textures and mom needed to warn me that the beans I could expect would be nothing like what I knew.
They would be sweet, have big chunks of chewy pork (which would also be sweet), and would NOT be served with rice.
"What do you mean there's no rice with the beans? Did they run out? Should we bring some?"
"No, they just don't eat rice and beans."
"So what do they eat with their chicharron de pollo?"
"They don't eat that. They do fried chicken a little different and they tend to eat things like rotisserie chicken instead."
Y'all should have seen my face.
It's been thirty years and I still struggle with the idea of not eating rice and beans all the time. I've come to understand that not everyone grew up in a Caribbean cultural household, though, and most Americans ate from a whole other menu.
Reddit user remyleboi00 asked:
"Non-Americans, what is the best 'American' food?"
Even as someone born in America, it took a while before I got familiar with American food.
So if it's just not your comfort zone - let Reddit guide you to the can't miss dishes.
Cajun
"Cajun food. Definitely the most unique American food"
- Excision
"As an American I 100% agree with you. Cajun food is heaven sent"
- Chaoticqueen19
"That's because of it's native American roots, fun fact Cajun peppers are named after the south American tribe that influenced the Spanish/French who brought it to Louisiana. Maque Choux is also a very native American dish that can be found in Mexico as Calabasitas."
- Objective_Lion196
They Are Fun
"Curly fries 👌"
"Recently came across Carl’s jr for the first time in Istanbul airport and the curly fries were just the best"
- av_jet
"Absolutely!"
- GrandpasMormonBooks
"the fun thing about curly fries is that they are basically the same everywhere. I'm pretty sure it's one company supplying all the different fast food places"
- siccanimelord69
M.A.C.
"I hate to sound like an ignorant foreigner but a made from scratch Mac & Cheese with at least 3 different cheeses plus a crispy breadcrumb crust on top is one of my favorite American dishes"
- Mona_Moans
"Mac & Cheese is such a favorite of family get-togethers that if you volunteer to cook it, your Mac & Cheese needs references."
"It’s especially good with some pulled pork and caramelized onions mixed in. And some insulin."
- GetZePopcorn
"Solid choice. We Americans LOVE cheese."
- RyGuyStrong
"No need to apologize. One of our favorites too."
- sexysmartsingle
Thankful For Thanksgiving.
"I'm from Mexico and we get spoiled with our traditional cuisine but I found the thanksgiving dinner experience in the US incredible."
"Love everything, the turkey (dark meat :) ), cranberry sauce, the stuffing (oh the stuffing), mashed potatoes, salads and the delicious pays that follow for dessert. That whole combination plus the red wine and good company is an incredible experience hard to match."
- i5rider
"We also get spoiled with your traditional cuisine."
- Pharaon4
"I usually get a food coma on Thanksgiving"
- FrenchiesRule
"As an American who loves the Thanksgiving and other holiday classics this warms my heart to hear from someone whose cultural cuisine is considered a full on cultural heritage of humanity by UNESCO."
"A nicely done, quality turkey with proper attention paid to all the sides, and good friends and/family is such a great experience."
"Same with the ham or prime rib dinner at Christmas. And all the pies. God I love pumpkin pie."
- RedCascadian
Smokey Deliciousness
"Anything smoked: brisket, pork shoulder, chicken, turkey. I've even had smoked burgers. If seasoned well you don't even need BBQ sauce and it is so tender and juicy."
- stickiestofickies
"I smoke meatloaf, can't go back to oven baked ever again."
- JohnnyBrillcream
"This tread has me wanting to smoke a brisket sooner rather than later."
- firemage22
"I love smoked brisket. I agree with you about the sauce. Taste the brisket before dunking in another flavor."
- Sourbreaker
"Native Texan here. Agreed. The general rule here is that you never sauce beef. Let the flavor of the meat stand for itself. Hell, there are some places in Texas (particularly in Lockhart) that will ask you to leave their establishment if you ask for BBQ sauce."
"Now, pork and chicken, whatever else... Go nuts... Just leave beef alone."
- IAmTheZechariah
"I had smoked mac and cheese once, it was heavenly."
- RecursiveBob
Risk It All
"This is probably a recipe for disaster but I'm British and growing up visiting Florida I would love eating raw cookie dough from the refrigerator section"
- Blocker212
"Cookie dough is so good that, given the option between not eating it, or getting food poisoning, nearly everyone will pick the cookie dough."
"It’s one of the few foods in the country where everyone knows the risk of food poisoning, and everyone makes the conscious, willing, and eager decision to not give a f*ck."
- duckbill_principate
"All of us here in the U.S. know that eating the cookie dough is the best part of making homemade chocolate chip cookies. I have a recipe for brownies with a cookie dough topping. Cookie dough ice cream is also extremely common (it’s vanilla ice cream with cookie dough bits mixed in)."
- Idontcheckmyemail
The Holy Pudding
"I can’t find someone who’s listed it so"
"BANANA PUDDING"
"That shit is LIFE CHANGING"
- Madmagican-
"Gotta have the Nilla wafers or it isn't right."
- zekeweasel
"Ah, finally! A person of culture. Banana pudding is the closest food can come to a religious experience."
- timmeh4853
Cornbread!
"Oddly enough, no one seems to have mentioned it…but cornbread . Yeah , as a guy who moved here , Americans have got cornbread down to a T . Combined with some soul food ? Makes me smile on the inside . Gives me high blood pressure , but smile on the inside too"
- Thatmixedotaku
"A nice warm cornbread muffin with some butter and a little drizzle of honey is amazing."
- AvatarJack
"Cornbread with a nice bowl of chili is such a nice comfort food."
"And the spicier the chili the nicer the sweet, buttery cornbread is with it."
- WingedLady
A Classic
"Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, at first i thought it was a disgusting combo, but when i tried i loved it"
- ilovepotatoesalott
"Interesting, most people in America are introduced to pb&j before we're even old enough to remember"
- Clear_Impact2025
"Farmer’s market jam is the way."
- ubiquitous-joe
"That was my most frequent meal in elementary school. I didn't realize it was an American thing until recently."
- Robbie_the_Brave
"It's easily top 3 greatest sandwich ever."
- The_Exquisite
As American As It Gets
"I may be a simpleton, but an average diner with bottomless filter coffee, pancakes, bacon and syrup was my favourite part of the day. Although I did put on about 10-15kg after a month in Texas"
- BasedEvidence
"I missed this sooooo much when I lived in the UK (grew up in New Jersey, land of diners). They simply do not do American diner breakfasts in Europe."
- landshanties
"My wife is German, I am American but we live in Germany. We took her parents to the states with us one summer on vacation and one of the things they insisted we do was go to a diner where they pour your coffee at the table, like in movies and tv shows."
"Took them to my favorite little spot, they loved the waitress filling up their cups unprompted."
- the-real-truthtron
Now that youve heard Reddit, it's my turn.
So remember how I said that I wasn't really exposed to American food until I was a bit older, even though I was born and raised in America?
I was 22 before I had meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
FAM. Fam. Faaaaaaaaaaam.
There is no greater meal for after a night of drinking than a good meatloaf and a nice herb and garlic mashed potato.
Keep your greasy pizza, amateurs. It's potato time over here.
Have you ever been caught in a conversation you didn't want to be in? Or start talking to someone only to realize you want to stop? Perhaps you were talking to a friend when the conversation took a turn for the uncomfortable.
Whatever the case, we've all been in those situations where we want the conversation to stop, but don't want to be rude.
When I was in third grade, I asked if I voted on American Idol that week. I said yes, since everyone seemed to, but of course I didn't know what American Idol was. Being pop culture challenged, I thought it was a ship. Needless to say everyone was confused when I was asked who I voted for and I replied, "What do you mean? I voted for American Idol!"
It didn't take me long to realize something was amiss, and I probably would've very rudely excused myself from the conversation (fueled by my embarrassment) if my teacher hadn't called us to attention at that very moment.
Luckily, the people of Reddit were willing to share their methods to politely end a conversation when Redditor Spritti33asked:
"How does someone politely end a conversation with a person who won't stop talking?"
Extricate Yourself Immediately
"When they draw a breath, politely say:"
""On that note, I must be on my way.""
Then, simply leave."
– Back2Bach
Couldn't Get Him To Shut Up
"Yea I worked with a dude who needed to talk. I just talked to him to be polite and not awkward. And I remember him saying "at least you're not one of those people who are silent all day". In my head I'm like, "FUCK, I wish I could be silent all day but now that you said that it would be even more awkward."
"At some point, I just mentally said f**k it and started giving him one-word replies. I think he got the hint because he started talking to me less. Eventually, he quit after a couple of months so it's all good!"
"But some people just need to talk for whatever reason. I need my freaking silence."
– BlackSecurity
Put It In Writing
"I once worked with a man that managed to say nothing, despite talking nonstop. He would explain an issue to me over the span of 5 min. I would say "OK, so the issue you're having is x?" and he would say "No" then launch into a 5 min monologue about something completely different. One time, after half an hour talking with him I still had no idea what the problem was, so I said "put all the issues in an email so I can put it in the queue" and just left. Never got a coherent email either but at least a rambling incoherent email is easier to walk away from and less time-consuming."
– TechnologyFetish
Put Them (Back) To Work
"If you're in an office building with someone (or any location the person you're talking to has a desk), one trick you can try is walking them back to their desk, say something like "well, I'll let you get back to it!", then turn around and leave."
– RegulusMagnus
Taking Care Of Each Other
"My workplace has someone like this and it’s pretty much become a part of our culture to monitor who is trapped talking to her, for how long they’ve been stuck, and to rescue them after an appropriate amount of time has passed. She doesn’t get it, and probably never will."
– Lady_DreadStar
Talk To The Door
"My husband worked with a woman who would not stop talking. Just wouldn't. So you'd gather your stuff, while she monologued. You'd say goodbye to everyone else, while she monologued. You'd walk to the door as she followed you and shut the door in her face while she monologued. You could hear her still talking to you behind the closed door while you walked away."
– BoozeIsTherapyRight
Take Your Turn
"I learned a trick. Most excessive talkers hate listening. So I simply participate and tell my own stories. After one or two stories they are usually ready to leave themselves to seek their next victim."
– RireBaton
Create A Deadline
"My entire dad's side of the family are the type that never stop talking."
"The key to getting a word in is to just respond to whatever you wanted to add to even if they are still talking. It might feel rude but most people who are like that were raised in environments where that's the norm or in the case of people with disorders like ADHD and Autism, they most likely know they have the tendency and will roll with it."
"Best way I've found to get end a conversation with ramblers is to set a deadline as early as possible in the conversation (ex: I have to leave at 6pm to get to ______ on time). If you do this you can do the "I'm sorry I really have to go" and immediately leave without offending them because you've already set the expectation that you would be leaving at a certain time."
– aflyingcowpie
Music
"This is why I hate taking Lyft/Uber alone, I seem to always get the folks who just want to talk the entire time. My boyfriend tells me to just not engage but when you’re in a car with someone it’s kinda hard not to. The ONE time I just wore headphones the whole time, the driver at the end said “maybe you’ll actually talk next time”"
– sm0gs
"Headphones..."
– bob_marley98
No Need To Feel Bad
"People who are like this expect folks to just walk away from them while they are talking because that’s the only way the conversation ends. It’s not rude to them, it’s normal. So, it’s entirely okay to say, “all right this has been great, see you later,” and then just walk away smiling."
– paulpowell9
Sometimes it's hard to get out of a conversation you never wanted to be in, and sometimes it's equally as hard to keep your temper in check.
However, if you remember some of these tips and tricks, you may be able to successfully get yourself out of an unpleasant or unceremoniously long conversation in the future!
Death is a certainty in life, but what happens after death may be one of those mysteries we never solve. I've always believed that when we're dead, we're dead. However, there are plenty of other theories.
Is there an afterlife? Do we face a supernatural judge who decides whether we go to heaven or hell? Do we get reincarnated as soon as we die? Or is death truly final?
These questions prompted Redditor Maleficent_Team430 to ask:
"What do you think happens to you after you die?"
Like Surgery
"I imagine its like when you fall asleep unexpectedly or go under for a surgery and you wake up out of a haze, minus the waking up part."
– Snoo-43285
"I had surgery last year and, before I went under, the anaesthetist said "Enjoy the nothingness". And that was it. No light, no colours, no sound, just complete darkness until I woke up with a breathing tube getting pulled out my throat. I imagine that's what death will be like. And I'm OK with that."
– Amity75
Time To Sell
"My family sells all my stuff way under value."
– knockfart
"I f*cking hope that if i die my wife doesnt sell my Legos at the price i told her i bought them"
– Fairbyyy
"My wife sells my record collection for way less then what it’s worth"
– Chips_Gravy29
The World Keeps Turning
"I am no different than people who die today, the sun shall rise again and word will keep on rolling tomorrow just fine without me."
– GaunterPatrick
"Well in a few billions years the sun shall not rise again. But we will be pretty much dead by then — I hope so."
– flucxapacitor
Eden...Sort Of
"It was always that everything goes black and you just don't exist anymore. My SO believes that you die and you get to live in your own little paradise and I've always loved the idea of that. I just wish I could believe it. It's also been super sweet to hear from him that I'm gonna be in his little paradise."
– Asmo_fu2
"I've posted this before but the idea of my own little paradise disturbs and terrifies me. Because my little paradise wouldn't be the same as other people's. If I say desire to meet my parents again after I die, the age I'd want them to be is likely different to the age they'd want to be in their paradise. Which means none of our paradises can overlap, and the idea of heaven is really just a simulation in which you are horribly alone."
– trthaw2
The Next Universe
"You just transfer to the next universe where you didn't die."
– murphycharlie
"This is what I think about all the time. I always wonder if I have died in a previous universe and just transferred over to the one in which I am still living, but all my family in the previous one think I’m dead."
– Deadlift420
"I like this theory"
– QuickAdministration0
Nothingness
"You return to that state of non-existence before you were conceived."
– Back2Bach
"It's like falling asleep and not waking up. I find that comforting. The final I don't give a f*ck."
– nawmynameisclarence
"Probably nothing, I think it’s probably like when we’re asleep and not dreaming. I was fine before I was born, I’ll be fine again"
– nicosmom25
We Will Live Again
"I hope something like reincarnation but it’s probably just nothing. Like we just end and we’re not aware that it’s nothing but it is."
– les_bean_13
"Careful what you wish for. Everyone thinks they'll end up as something cool like a lion but nobody thinks about how insects and bacteria make up some of the largest populations of life on earth. Maybe you'll be gut bacteria for some rat. Or a slug that a kid wants to pour salt on."
– TheyreEatingHer
Whatever You Believe In
"I wish people would go to wherever they wanted to, like - whatever their religion teaches, they’ll go there. And if their non-religious, then they can choose whatever they want to a believe in. I don’t know what’ll happen to me but I hope to see my friends again"
– TVFREngine64_2020
"I think the same personally. I hope to to still be with my wife either way."
– TheMetalMisfit
"Honestly this being the case would make up for all the unfairness in life."
– Chromattix
"This is my dream as well. I hope so. I want longer with my friends than I’ll get."
– Ginngerly
I Know What Happens
"19 years in the business tells me you either go in the ground, in a crematory, a mausoleum, or you’re never found again."
– andS0NS
"Have you considered trying a different business model?"
– MrWeirdoFace
We'll Know Eventually
"What’s the rush? We’ll find out soon enough"
– LSD_for_Everyone
We may never truly know what happens to us when we die, but maybe it's better that way! I'd rather not think about it, especially if I'm right!