Drug Addicts And Alcoholics Share The Lowest And Most Difficult Point In Their Lives And It's So Eye-Opening.
Addiction is an incredibly difficult thing for anyone. Whether it's an addiction to exercise, to alcohol, to drugs, or something else it can manage to take over and destroy your life until you don't even know who you are any more. Your routine is based solely on when you can get your next fix, and that's all you're ever thinking about.
Thank you to the awesome and brave souls who shared their stories with us, to help highlight the horrifying dangers of addiction. The road to recovery is a bumpy one fraught with twist and turns and potholes and roadblocks but it's a journey well worth embarking on.
1. My daily life when I was using:
Wake up dope-sick at about 8-9 am. Shoot up heroin in the bathroom with the shower running so roommates didn't know what I was up to. Often mixed in meth/coke for the energy boost.
I would then get ready and drive to work as a salesman for a major cell phone retailer. As soon as I got there, I would shoot up again in the car before I walked in the door. Many days I would steal iPhones or galaxy s3 phones and pawn them to stay high. It's a miracle they can't prove it and just withheld my last paycheck, or I would be in prison today for theft over $20k.
I would also call my parents and make up reasons I needed money, and sometimes just steal stuff from people's garages. I sold everything I owned, including my own phone and computer.
I had to steal if I did less than a gram of heroin a day I got sick. To actually get high I had to mix in Xanax or alcohol or meth or coke. Another party of my routine was contemplating suicide. Usually thinking about driving off a bridge on the highway.
I shot up everything except alcohol and Xanax, cause there's no reason to do so for those. I shot up about 7-9 times a day.
I've gone 6 months clean a week from today, and sharing this reminds me of why. Thanks for reading.
2. Alcoholic here. Wake up 4am. Can't get back to sleep. Take 6-10 Advil to stop the pain. Take 2mg of klonopin to stop from shaking. Eat half a roll of Tums to stop the burning. Lay awake tossing till the sun comes up. Tell yourself, "Today is the day I'm not going to drink." Have coffee, skip breakfast. 12 noon, hands start to shake. "Damn, I need a drink." Just one drink to calm you down, I'll stop after that. (Continued)
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3pm and I'm trashed on a couch watching Netflix, smoking cigarettes, ignoring texts. 6pm and rambling incoherently to anyone who will listen. 8pm passed out in a state of near death on a couch. 4am wake up and say to myself, "Today is the day I'm not going to drink."
3. I would usually wake up around 6 am to the sound of my dad getting ready for work, and I'd go throw up in my bathroom. If I threw up or peed the bed I would usually have a garbage bag in the room to throw my sheet into so I could take care of it later. This only happened a few times but it got more and more frequent. Usually the vomit was dark black, goopy, and extremely acidic. I found out later it was blood.
I had a constant supply of Tums that I would eat from. I would then drink a bottle of water, a hit from the bong to reduce nausea, and some valium to stop myself from shaking. I would then wake up at around noon and take more valium to stop shaking. I would usually sleep until about 2 or 3pm, sometimes up until 6pm. Once I woke I would take a few shots of captain morgan to keep the constant body high going, and depending on how much weed or valium I had I would try and make some calls to get some more. Around 7pm before my mother left for work I would go through her meds to find Klonopin and Ambien that I could take later in the evening. I was ALWAYS thinking ahead - because I liked to be completely obliterated by around 11pm. She took a quarter of a 10mg of ambien to sleep, and I would usually take about half of her bottle over the month (Between 20 to 60 depending on the script). Denial.
If I wasn't hanging out with friends that night I would be on the computer all night or with my girlfriend getting wasted and popping valium. Each valium was 10mg and I'd usually take around 20 per day. Eventually I would get really nauseous because I forget to eat, or just took too much, and I'd have to smoke weed and eat more Tums. If I didn't want to stop drinking at this point I would purposefully push the contents of my stomach up and I would vomit violently, and then continue drinking. By the time it was all winding down I would take up to 40mg of Ambien. At the time I liked to tell myself this was to sleep, but I always stayed up and drank with it in order to gain more of a body high/psychedelic experience.
Usually by this point my girlfriend would be passed out, and I would just be on the computer. Many of these nights I spent crying from 2 am to 5am, either when my dad would wake up and he could console me, or my girlfriend woke up. Needless to say those two and my substances were my only coping mechanisms. Many times my father would come check on me to make sure I was okay every morning.
This was my routine for 3 years until right around age 22. The only thing I have left that reminds me of it is a bald spot of cement on my floor where my black vomit destroyed the carpet, so we had to cut it out. When we got new carpet (they did this when I was in rehab) they left that cut out. Every morning my feet touch the cold reality of the world, and I am ever so grateful that I am alive. Sorry this was long winded. I had a hiccup last night after two years of sobriety and this was really perfect timing for me to write.
4. Wake up. Hit snooze. Hit snooze at least 3 more times. Brush teeth, outside for a smoke, and hit the shower. Groan under the hot water for at least 15 minutes, trying to burn some of the hangover away.
Drive to work, right in between half-pissed and hung-over, praying I don't get pulled over. Grab a takeout coffee so big I can swim laps in it. Stumble into work and hope nobody notices.
Somehow make it through the day, and since I didn't bring lunch, grab a slice or a sub for lunch. Now the work day is done, and it's time to head home.
Inventory the smokes. Are there enough for the night? Try to remember if there's enough ice and mix. Maybe pick up a bag of chips or something when I get more smokes. Stop at the liquor store and pick up a 375ml bottle of whatever, and 3 or 4 500ml beers.
Ah, now I'm home. Crack the first beer, and use it to chase a solid shot of the booze. There's a nice glow, good. Wait 10 or 15 minutes until for the warmth to spread before the first bowl of the night. Fire up the computer.
Take off my clothes, and throw them on the pile on the floor. (Continued)
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Put on my tattered robe from better days, and then grab the least dirty glass from the massive pile in the sink. Sit in front of the comp, in my underwear, bathrobe and socks, drinking, and smoking the night away. Maybe make a phone call. Maybe have a wank. Once in a while, score some lines, or an Oxy, just to mix things up.
Toss the empty beer cans in the general direction of a trash can. Maybe empty the overflowing ashtray, but only if a lit butt put another burn mark in the table. Try not to miss the toilet when I piss. In fact, try to piss a little harder to scrub the freckles off the bowl.
Down that last shot, then stagger into the bedroom and flop down on sheets that haven't been laundered in a month. Bam! Coma sleep.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat....for 30 years.
Picked up my 6-month chip last week. In those 6 months I have lost 40lbs, got a promotion, new clothes, new furniture, and this week I get a new car. I ended a toxic relationship, and have a great social life through the people I have met in AA. I'm not healed, but I'm healing, and I have a sense of optimism for the future that I haven't felt in decades.
Relying on a molecule for your happiness is a lot like repeatedly hitting yourself in the forehead with a hammer. It feels really good when you stop.
5. At the moment, my routine consists of total abstinence from drugs and alcohol for the first time in 23 years. October 25th will mark my 9th month clean. Prior to that I was chasing the dragon, smoking pot, snorting coke and drinking endless cans of beer, preferably in that order and in the same sitting.
Overall, I'd say my most 'routine' drug was pot. I started smoking it daily in 1989 and by the mid-nineties I was literally getting high every morning, noon and night. Painkillers entered the fray around '93 and by '97 I experienced opiate withdrawal for the first time.
By the late nineties, my opiate use had abated somewhat, but only because I was drinking heavily instead. Every morning, I would wake and bake, stay high all day and start throwing back Heinekens with dinner.
I was a relatively well-adjusted and productive addict. I put myself through college, maintained above a 3.0 GPA and graduated from a private liberal arts college with a bachelor's degree.
I was completely geeked on weed and Percocet in my cap and gown and I accepted my diploma with a smirk on my face as if I was proving something to the world.
In 2000, I landed a job at a major cable TV network primarily because I had a friend who worked there who told me that they didn't test employees for drugs. Brilliant! I thought. Not long after I was hired, I realized that my stellar health insurance plan was tailor made for an affable junky such as myself. Thus, I began a strategically structured regimen of drug-seeking and doctor shopping. It didn't take me long to find what Burroughs referred to as 'croakers' in his professional guidebook Junky. Oh, I was livin' the dream and rising to the occasion of all my addled, literary heroes. Burroughs, Jim Carrol, and that venerated liege of light and letters, Doctor Thompson would be proud.
By 2006, the dream had taken its inextricable turn to nightmare as I was taking painkillers in the morning solely to prevent junk sickness. At the time, my narcotic of choice was a particularly seductive combination of codeine and the barbiturate butalbital. Five of those knocked back with some chocolate milk around 6:30a and a couple of bumps of coke in the car on the way to work would have me sauntering down CNN's long plastic hallways like Dean Martin on an ether jag.
To say that my behavior had become erratic would be an insult to understatement. If I wasn't slurring my speech with a gleam in my eye at work, I was naked on all fours, sweating profusely and spewing bile into my toilet in the middle of the night. My wife was ready to divorce me and my employer was ready to fire me, but I won the lottery and was forced to take a leave of absence from work to go to rehab.
After that, I managed to clean up my act for a few months, but by 2007, I was back in the game and by 2010, I was fired. I managed to hide my use from my wife for a few more years and finally hit rock bottom last January in a cheap hotel room. (Continued)
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The jag that had lead me there was straight out of a bad Lifetime Original Movie. Driving around the most frightening neighborhoods imaginable with a one-eyed, 55 year-old hustler named LaVie and his lethargic pit bull 'Honey Bean.'
At one point I had a loaded .45 caliber Glock and $500 worth of Afghan smack in my lap as I drove past two police cruisers who were speeding in the opposite direction. My windows were down and as their sirens and flashing blues filled the interior of my my car I laughed maniacally to try and rival their intensity, but for the first time in three days both LaVie and Honey Bean looked genuinely concerned for our well being.
As I finished up the heroin, alone in my cheap hotel room, for the first time in my self-storied drug saga, I wasn't enjoying it. I was high out of my mind, as numb as I could ever want to be and all of a sudden, I felt a palpable sadness wash over me like a ghost. I was out of money. My gun was in the pawn shop and my wife and two little boys were at home wondering where I was. It was a terribly long time coming, but I had finally crossed the river. I'm not sure if it was death that visited me at the Days Inn, but I'm certain that it will be if I ever return.
6. Not a physical drug, but this was an average day in my life for about 12 years.
Wake up and slowly sit up. I couldn't stand or sit up quickly because I would start to black out (I was orthostatic). I didn't have to pee because I was so dehydrated. Feel hunger pains. They hurt but felt good. Weigh myself. Less than the previous day? Today was a good day. More than the previous day? Body, I hope you're ready to be punished. I was hungry, so I'd eat a packet of oatmeal. Then I'd feel guilty, so I'd chug a can of soda and purge the oatmeal and soda. Go to work. I wouldn't focus because I'd be thinking about what I ate the previous day, what my weight was that morning, what I was going to eat next, whether I was going to purge it, and where I was going to purge it.
Go to class. I wouldn't focus for the same reasons as above. Come home. Eat about 8-10 packages of frozen broccoli (purging it all as I went). While I was bingeing, I would reddit, Facebook, watch TV on my computer, etc. Maybe try to study during this time. Eventually pass out due to exhaustion. Or due to literally passing out and waking up on my bathroom floor with blood in the toilet. Wake up. Do the same.
7. When I was 12 I did my first line of Meth. It did not really become a habit until I was about 14. For a year I would go to school after being up all night , come home, smoke some weed and do some more meth with my boyfriend at the time and his best friend. When they would go home I would be up all night geeked out of my mind, constantly cleaning or doing homework. My grades were awesome that year. Then morning would come and I would go to school and start all over.
I would go days without eating or sleeping. My mom did a lot of drugs so she knew, but she was geeked out all the time as well. My friends at school had no idea. That was never really their scene. I got really skinny really quick, and I looked gross. Looking back at pictures my face was all broken out and my clothes were hanging off of me.
I quit doing it every day right after my 15th birthday. I was actually ready to drop acid for the first time but got scared and chickened out. After that I quit smoking weed and quit everything else. It was easy enough for me. Although whenever I smelled it when my mom was doing it I would get the shakes bad. This lasted for a long time. Well into my 20's. The thought of it would make me crave it. I loved it. I only quit because I saw what it did to my mom and did not want to be like her.
Im 26 now and that life seems like forever ago. I don't really talk to anyone who knew me back then so on the rare occasion I tell someone that story they find it very hard to believe. I agree. I am a totally different person now. Just as an after thought my boyfriend quit well before I did and grew up to be a very responsible healthy marine.
8. I'm kind of weak-willed, and get addicted to things very easily.
For a while, I was hooked on hydrocodones/loritabs/vicodin (any of those, really), but it went largely unnoticed because I lived in an apartment where everyone was partying constantly. I was around 20 at the time. I wound up selling most of my stuff to buy from a guy for usually around $4/pill. The day would usually involve me waking up, taking pills until a party starts, continue taking pills, go to sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. Not exactly interesting stuff.
Well, eventually I got tired of the party life, heard about some Argentinians who needed a roommate on a ski resort, so I left in search of peace of mind. (Continued)
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It actually worked quite well, but the ski season came to an end, and I wound up running off to Hawaii with a girl I hardly knew.
Naturally, that didn't work out, so I wound up moving back in with my parents for a couple of months. I was pretty down from a bad end to a bad relationship, and developed insomnia. Got prescribed Ambien, and the two months where I lived at my parents' were lost in a haze. Started taking more and more Ambien, with it having less and less of an effect, and eventually quit because the more they didn't work the more I thought suicide would.
I told a friend about all this, and he came and picked me up. I lived with him for a while, started going back to college. I was a Biology major (which didn't suit me one bit), so I resorted to Adderall. That got worse and worse, and lasted for a few years.
It got to where I would take one and then not fifteen minutes later I would start mentally psyching myself up to take the next one in ~2 hours or so. Of course, a legit prescription couldn't cover that many Adderall, so I got prescribed Ritalin and bought an entire Adderall prescription from a girl I knew every month (at a pretty reasonable $2-3/pill). It took a really, really long time for me to come to realize that it was making me stupid, and only after finding out that Adderall is "neurotoxic" (from someone on /r/nootropics, for the record), I finally decided to stop.
I've also gone through marijuana and drinking phases that lacked in any sort of moderation whatsoever, but this is already getting too long.
I've been sober for a couple of months now (completely sober, too), and I've been off Adderall for about 8 months or so. I still feel as though I'm operating from a... I don't know, cognitive deficit that I'm certain wasn't there before the Adderall, but c'est la vie, I suppose.
I've managed to replace drug addiction with an addiction to exercise, which I'm told isn't unhealthy, but probably also isn't "healthy" either.
On the plus side, I'm really muscular now and despite the fact that I'm only just now about to graduate college at 26 years old, most people think I have my ducks in a row. I don't know that I do, but it's nice of them to think that.
9. This was my routine 2 years ago.
Morning: Wake up, feel like I was going to crawl out of my skin, self harm, clean myself up, go to class.
Afternoon: Attempt homework, become overwhelmed, self harm, clean up, go for a walk/run to get coffee.
Night: Realize I "forgot to eat" all day, binge-eat, feel overwhelmingly guilty for binge-eating, force self to throw up, self harm to calm down, take too many aspirin, clean up, cry self to sleep.
I worried so many people and destroyed so many relationships during this time. I was stared at, called a freak, called crazy by my classmates, teased by my roommates, and failed classes left and right.
This is my routine now... (Continued)
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Morning: Wake up, make 2 cups of coffee, get ready for work, drive to work while playing my favorite music.
Afternoon: Work with kids all day, have fun, make people smile, get some giggles from people, and enjoy myself.
Night: Get home, "detox from people" by browsing the internet and watching TV, go to bed.
I still slip up from time-to-time, as I regularly forget to eat (honestly forget, not intentionally forget.), but I'm in a much better place mentally. :)
10. I wake up, and the first thing I do is prep a shot. Like before I even think, I prep a shot. I take a deep breath. I tie off, just about an inch above where I'm planning to enter the vein. I release my breath and push the needle in, waiting to see that bright red sign that I've hit my mark. As soon as I get it, I remove the tie and push my liquid version of heaven into my arm...and blast off. That's the best I'm going to feel all day, and I know it, so I savor it for a second. Then I go outside and smoke, and proceed to start my day.
I went to work. I got home, I went to meet my drug dealer, bought some more, and repeat.
It was a truly miserable existence. Working for money, to run out and spend every dime of it, for not enough junk.
So glad I don't have to do that anymore.
11. I used to pop ritalin and adderall like it was candy, to the point where I would be in a speed like trance all day. It got so bad that I needed to wake up an hour earlier before work to pop a pill and feel its affects before I had the energy to roll out of bed. Stopped cold turkey and it caused major depression.
12. I have been sober for a little over a year but will attempt to give an accurate story of my different stages if addiction.
It all started when they took OC (OxyContin) off the market.
A few days before it happened my friend got his hands on about 500, 20 mg pills. I sold about 150-200 of them I took my profit and went up to Portland Oregon to buy some heroin to start selling. I started selling points for $15 which was cheaper than anyone else. So I started making some decent money. I would smoke and sell all day and go to bed around 5-6 am and wake up around noon. Depended on when I started getting calls or if I needed to head to Portland that day. I wasn't selling huge amounts so I would pick up a quarter to half ounce each time I went up and I would make 2-3 trips a week.
I had to supply heroin for me and my girlfriends addiction so I never moved past about a half ounce. Well, this lasted about a year until I got pushed out of business. Someone paid the guy who was hooking me up to start cutting me out and I didn't know who else to go through. I also let people get in debt to me which was a bad idea. One kid owed me $2000, which was a ton of money to me.
Times got tough after I stopped selling. Each day I would wake up around 10-12. If I had money then I would go and get some heroin since I would already be sick upon waking up. If I didn't have the money then I would have to go sell some clothes or my electronics. I went through 2 TVs, 4 ps3s, a surround sound system, 4 iPods, 3 iPhones and a bunch of movies doing this. When I was selling I could only go 12 hours without using until I got sick but at this point it was 24 hours.
I was not shooting up at this time. So this went on for about a year. It was miserable!! I couldn't enjoy my high anymore because I would constantly be thinking of how I could get more. It wasn't about getting high anymore. It was about not being sick.
So after about a year I was tired of this routine. I decided to get sober. I quit cold turkey and was able to stay away for 6-7 months. Then one day I got a call from my friend who was selling. He needed a ride to go pick up his stuff. I agreed and that's what started me being his driver for about a year. He was shooting up so I decided to start.
He would pick up about 6-10 ounces a week and a couple ounces of cocaine. I pretty much lived at his house going on huge binges. If I wasn't at his place then I was at mine, sitting and waiting for him to call me so I could drive him and get some free dope. At the end of one binge I noticed my ankle starting to get sore. Within 2 days it has swelled to twice its normal size. I decided to go to the emergency room.
When I got there I had a 103 degree fever along with my swollen ankle. I ended up having a nasty blood infection and had to be on I.V antibiotics for 3 days. One of the scariest times of my life but I was back to shooting up while the I.V was still in my arm. I remember doing shots of coke while driving on I-5 on the way to Portland. It got pretty bad.
I got to the point of doing 4 point shots. To me that was a lot but to my friend it was nothing. He would do 1 gram shots like it was nothing. His arms were covered in black holes where he had missed shots of coke and heroin. So I drove him for about a year until I just couldn't take it anymore.
I asked my parents for help and was on a plane to Sierra Tucson treatment center the next day. I have now been sober for about 15 months. I hope this granted you a little insight in to the day of a drug addict. To anyone still going through addiction know that there is life after addiction. I know it's scary as hell but it can be done. Feel free to PM me with any questions you may have.
13. Just now, I walked to my car, opened my bottle of vyvanse, went to the gutter and dumped my remaining pills into the sewer. I went online and cancelled my next appointment. I have no way of obtaining these pills outside of the pharmacy. Today is the day I take my life back.
It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.
With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.
Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.
Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.
Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.
Always making for a memorable story.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattzget out GIFGiphy
It's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswersof montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphy
Everyone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
People Who've Had A Serious Illness Describe The Exact Moment They Knew Something Was Really Wrong
As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.
However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.
Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.
Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.
It all started when Redditor thelearner18 asked:
"People who have had a serious disease (cancer, MS, organ failure, etc) when did you realize something was really wrong?"
A Lesson Learned
"Hust found out i have rectal cancer. 42 yrs old. multiple stools per day, not fully emptying, thin poop. so got a colonoscopy. bam! cancer. starting chemo next week. lesson learned for everyone....if your stools or stool schedule changes, go see a doctor"
A Lucky Break
"I had been having a lot of pain in my midsection, and all around my torso for several weeks. I went to the doctor and it was dismissed as gynecological cramping (menopausal?). It remained. After several weeks (6-8) I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to emergency in the middle of the night. I got a CT scan that showed a large kidney stone. They also found a mass on my ovary. The kidney stone lead them to finding a rare ovarian cancer. If not for that stone, I wouldn’t have known about the cancer and might not have caught it in time. I have been in remission since September 2021."
Cause For Concern
"My kid, who was 14 at the time, kept throwing up in the morning and having weird headaches. Her doctor thought it was migraines. She went back a couple of times, but the doctor was not concerned. Then one day she complained of a whooshing noise in her ear. Went to the children’s hospital and found out it was a brain tumor near her cerabellum. She was in ICU for a month, but turned out it was non cancerous and it never grew back. She is doing great now."
"I heard a whooshing noise in my ear a few years ago I only really heard it at night when it was quiet it would sometimes switch ears now I basically never hear it. I'm pretty sure it was just pulsatile tinnitus but still scary."
It Was The Salt
"I have Cystic Fibrosis (terminal lung disease) and it was found out when I didn't sh*t for 3 days after I was born and then my mother gave me a kiss and said I tasted REALLY salty."
"Now I'm on a gene modification drug called Trikafta and this is some serious witch craft a** sh*t because I no longer feel sick to death and I basically feel like a normal person. It's f*cking wild!
"Went from 19% lung function to 87% in 3 months. I no longer cough my a** off or feel like I'm suffocating from mucus. Go science!"
A Funky Optic Nerve
"I was diagnosed with MS when I was 22 after having blurred vision in one eye after a ski trip. I went to the optometrist and they said I had a dry eye probably from not wearing goggles while snow boarding. So they gave me steroid drops. After a week it kept getting worse, so I went back and they told me my eye looked much better so they did a field of view test, which showed I couldn’t see anything out of the lower half of one eye. They sent me straight to the emergency room since nothing was wrong physically wrong with my eye. They did some tests and I was diagnosed with MS and ended up going completely blind in one eye. My vision eventually came back and I got on medication within a month so haven’t really had any symptoms or issues since thankfully. I’m only 29 now though."
Caught It In Time
"This isn't me, but this happened to my best friend VERY recently. Like in the last couple of months."
"Was perfectly fine and healthy one day. Then the next he started feeling a little bit of pain in his kidney. He'd had kidney stones before, so he figured it was that again. Then he started peeing blood. He thought it was still part of the kidney stone thing so let it go for a couple days, but he was still peeing blood and the pain was getting worse."
"That's when he decided to go to the doctor. They did an X-ray and found a mass in his kidney and told him that based on where it was located they can't remove the mass, and they can't do a partial kidney removal, and it's about a 90% chance it's cancerous, but they wouldn't be able to do a biopsy without removing the kidney first. They did the whole insurance dance, but it went fast and within two weeks he was in surgery having his kidney removed."
"He's still recovering at home right now, but they got the biopsy results last week. It was indeed cancerous, but they caught it before it spread."
Happily Ever After
"I couldn’t walk anymore with my crutch I had been using to get by. Had Been on Percocet for 8 months because of the extreme pain. Nobody was finding answers to my pain but I knew something was wrong, badly. After finally having an ultra sound on my hips at the age of 26 I found out I had to undergo a double hip replacement to walk again due to a serious rare disease. I was stage 4 Avascular Nercrosis. Took a year to recover from both. But Happier ending, I’m doing good now. However it was very very upsetting news to get over a phone call at 26."
It Really Sneaks Around
"My wife started getting numbness in her right arm. The breast cancer had spread to her right shoulder and the tumor was crushing the nerves. She has stage four breast cancer in her bones."
A Turn For The Worse
"For me, it started May 14, 2014. I went to work and was having a good morning. Then, at about 9:00 in the morning or so, I started to feel some lower abdominal pain. Not to be crude, but it felt like that cramp you get when you really need to go to the bathroom. I did so, but the pain didn't go away. It got worse. I started to feel chills, was sweating, and felt nauseated. My employer has a clinic on site, so I went there. After some poking and prodding, the nurse asked me if I wanted to go home or if I wanted to go to the emergency room. I decided to go home, and if the pain didn't subside, then I'd go to the emergency room. As I was saying that, though, I noticed that my pain had gotten a LOT worse. They always make you rate your pain on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being no pain at all and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. When I went into the clinic, I was mostly uncomfortable, maybe a high 2 going into a 3. On that very subjective scale, I was now a 6 or a 7."
"I changed my mind and decided to go straight to the nearest emergency room. My boss drove me, and by the time we got there about 15 minutes later, I was now a 10. This was the worst pain I'd ever felt. My previous definition of the worst pain I'd ever felt was when I broke 7 bones in my wrist, it was misdiagnosed as a sprain, and I had to have them rebroken 2 weeks later. The pain in my abdomen was now worse than that. The emergency room admitted me and put me in a wheelchair. They wheeled me to a room, I curled up on the bed they put me in, and passed out."
"At some point, a nurse came in and gave me some morphine. Great stuff. No pain at all anymore. A doctor came in and told me they suspected a kidney stone. He wanted me to get a CT scan to confirm it, and I agreed. An orderly wheeled me off to imaging. I got scanned without contrast and was wheeled back to the room. My wife had arrived while I was getting scanned. Shortly later, the doctor who told me he thought it was a kidney stone came into the room. With another doctor. And two nurses. They all crowd around me with solemn looks on their faces."
"The first doctor told me it was a kidney stone. A 2 to 3 mm kidney stone had been lodged in the ureter of my left kidney. That's the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. It passed into my bladder when they gave me the morphine, but they could see evidence of it on the CT scan. Then the other doctor said they were more concerned about the 6 cm mass they found on my right kidney. They had my attention."
"They did another CT scan, with contrast this time, and it was impossible to see anything but a tumor in the pictures they showed me. They made an appointment for me with a urologist for the next day, as well as an appointment in a few days time to get it biopsied. It was an after-hours appointment for the urologist, but he was nice enough to stay late to see me. He looked at the CT Scans and cancelled my appointment to get it biopsied. He said there was nothing else it could be but cancer, and the kidney would have to go."
"Two months later, I had the kidney and the tumor removed laparoscopically. I was incredibly lucky. They caught it in stage 1. The doctor said there were signs it was going to start moving soon. I have no idea how doctors can look at a softball sized lump of cancer and tell anything other than 'gross', but that's why they're the doctors and I'm not."
"My recovery was smooth, and I've been cancer-free for 9 years. I was incredibly blessed. I didn't have to deal with chemo, or radiation. While those can save your life, they are also horrible experiences with nasty side effects. I didn't have to deal with any of them. I was bracing myself to have to. They said it was a possibility. But I didn't. I have every respect for those not as fortunate as me, and wish them all the best in recovery."
Reason #5,622 To Start Exercising
"I started jogging again to try and get back into running shape. I kept noticing that just after a mile or so, I'd stop and get REALLY lightheaded. Kept thinking, "oh, I'm really out of shape" and kept going. Went in a few weeks later for my annual physical and doctor said "you ever been told you have a heart murmur?", no. Two months later I spent Christmas of 2017 in the ICU after having a section of my aorta cut out and a new valve put in. Surgeon said it was bad. Said it wouldn't have made it too much longer."
"Edit: for clarification, it was an aortic dissection."
Slow And Steady
"My dad's friend went on a hike with a doctor who knew him and he was winded not far from the car. The doctor clocked it right away and told him to get his heart checked. He had 98% blockage in his heart arteries."
"He tells my dad so my dad gets the test to see how his arteries are doing and they found a massive aneurism on his aorta. He is getting it removed tomorrow. He had no symptoms but the doctors said if he had overdone it he would be dead before anyone would even know what was going on. Crazy how a random friend's hike may have saved his life."
It Takes A Village
"I never did, my teacher and parents did."
"I was seven, usually an active kid and my first grade teacher noticed that rather than running around at recess I sat down and took a nap. It happened a couple more times and after I fell asleep in class (totally out of character), she gave my parents a call, we had been visiting the doc fairly regularly cause I was also complaining of joint pain and frequent ear infections combined with the new symptoms and a new doc at the practice I was finally diagnosed with leukemia."
Thank goodness for that teacher (and of course, the parents)!
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I DoShocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy
"Are you married?"
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Room TemperatureFrosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
DiscoveryBlown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy
"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
EssentialsTell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy
"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.
But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.
Redditor overIorded asked:
"What went wrong with your last partner?"
History Repeating Itself
"He cheated on me. And I was glad because that was finally reason enough to allow myself to leave."
"Now I know somebody who's in the same situation. They're trapped. And she's such a gentle and fun person who's afraid to leave him because 'well, it's always been like this, I'm used to it,' and 'I deserve it.'"
"She wants to leave him, she knows she should leave him, but it's so hard to do it, and I know that feeling."
"I'm thinking I should give her my phone number like when the day comes you've had enough, I'll gladly come to help you move out from that s**thole."
Mental Health Struggles
"I'm lost in my own trauma and mental illness and he deserves better than anything I have to offer right now."
"I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and mildly said, it absolutely ruined me. Her trauma and mental problems were BAD, but I still wanted to be with them. So if you ask me, as long as they can give you the space and support you need, and want to be with you, let them make the decision."
"It's also fair and mature to care very much about someone but realize that you only have the emotional bandwidth to take care of yourself right now."
"I'm sure it was very hard for both of you to come to terms with that decision. I don't think it's that he deserves better, I think it's that your attention needs to be on guiding yourself through this thicket of trauma and mental illness before you can be someone else's partner. You can love each other very much but also acknowledge that you don't have the tools to spare for a relationship right now."
"I'm proud of you for focusing on your own mental health and someday, when you have more emotional stability and energy, I hope you find a wonderful partner."
"We disagreed on how many women he was allowed to date. I’m very strong on monogamy and have no interest in someone (in a supposedly committed relationship) that isn’t."
At Least There's That
"Her psychotic brother tried to kill me. Thankfully he has a Stormtrooper's aim..."
"Hate the attempted murder, love the 'Star Wars' reference."
"He wanted a big family, like, six kids, all-natural. Obviously, he wouldn't be birthing them. This was very important to him while I was pretty ambivalent about kids, and the further into my adulthood I've gotten, the more I've realized I just don't want to be pregnant."
"I broke it off so we could both get the lives we wanted. He was also quite a bit more conservative than me, and at the time closeted pansexual person, and some stuff he believed just didn't line up with what I believed. It hurt, but it was amicable."
"Now he has a wife and kids like he wanted, and I am happily partnered and childfree. It worked out for the best."
"She hated that I had a healthy relationship with my family and was trying to find ways to sabotage it."
"Similar aspect to mine, she hated my sister and mother because she had a bad relationship with her sister and mother. She would get mad at me whenever I brought my family up."
"My last boyfriend dumped me because I got mad that he was coming to Dallas after I hadn't seen him for two months, but didn't want to see me."
"He was going to meet up with some friends of his he hadn't seen in a few months. I told him that was fine with me, but I felt he should make time to see me too since we hadn't seen each other in two months and we were supposed to be a couple."
"He responded to my anger by ghosting me. That was two years ago."
Distracted with a Punch
"A girl contacted me about him talking to her. I asked him what was going on, and he sucker-punched me in the face."
"He cheated on me for all six years we were together and then accused me of cheating on him, even though I wasn't allowed to leave the house."
"I'm also pretty sure he slept with my sister-in-law when my brother and I went to pick up dinner."
Children Come First
"He was and still is no father to his kids, has anger issues, and probably has other mental health issues. I tried for years to help him and help the relationship, but he wasn't having it. After seeing how my oldest suffered under him, I had to leave."
"I communicated how I felt about many things in the relationship. He never communicated about anything."
"Oh look, it's the last 14 years of my life..."
"I'm guilty of this, and boy, do I regret not being able to open up about my feelings. It cost me my marriage. But now I'm trying to be more open and share my thoughts and feelings. Just wished I could've done this earlier than later."
"I started drinking again and became a miserable a**hole due to my own depression and my s**tty job. As such, she didn't get the attention she deserved, and had to put up with my s**tty mood all the time... so she left. I don't blame her."
"So, it was me. I don't know if I trust myself with a relationship again, but aside from the shame of knowing I hurt someone who I loved, and loved me back, but I was too self-absorbed and selfish, I am trying to be a better human to everyone."
"And to my ex: You'll find someone again... someone better."
"He wanted to move to Alaska to be with some girl he was 'friends' with before me."
"My ex's early-onset Alzheimers (at the age of 50) and the resulting violence, paranoia, and irrational thinking. I tried to honor my vows, but he was so far out there, I feared for my life."
Different Definitions of Marriage
"She cheated on me after five years total together, the last one of which was while we were engaged. She cheated on me for months, all while I was planning the wedding, working part-time, and going to graduate school so I can support us comfortably in the future."
"I planned on giving her everything I could and sharing the rest of my life with her, and apparently she didn’t care."
This conversation just goes to show that relationships can end for all kinds of reasons. Even in relationships where there is still a lot of love and committment, the relationship can still end, just like how the relationship can end suddenly because of a surprising and devastating realization.