The roads are a battlefield. The truth is, any fool can obtain a license. I can prove this because I was given one after I failed my test eight times. I finally passed on my ninth swing. I don't even want to get into the decade that followed. Let's just say a local traffic judge knew me by name when we met at a local restaurant. Later I became a teacher for a comedy traffic school for people who got tickets.... the novel I could write. Buckle up out there people.
Redditor u/imnotinsane13 wanted driving instructors to help us out and let us know just how dangerous the road is today because the truth is... anybody can get a license.... they asked.... Driving Instructors of Reddit; who was the worst student you had or the craziest drive you had?
NOW you want a license?!driving ferris buellers day off GIFGiphy
My instructor told me about a little old lady (LOL for short) who some reason had decided that retirement would be a great time to her license.
So they're coming up to a roundabout and this being a RHT country you're supposed to go to the right. Instructor tells her to take the third exit, and comments that you can signal this by signaling left going through the roundabout. LOL. She misunderstands, signals left and goes freaking left!
Luckily nothing happened and the instructor understood that this particular student had a very low cognitive load threshold and would not be able to smalltalk.
He remembered her fondly and even helped her pick out her new car. As he said, that was the least he could do, it was the most anybody had ever spent on license training at that school... By something like a factor of 4.
Driving as a Weapon
Class A CDL instructor.
Not my drive, but another of our trucks was heading southbound. Student driving, instructor in passenger seat. We are located in mostly suburbs/inner city. Lots of traffic.
Student in the left lane while a car heading northbound swerved into their lane. They hit a Ford Focus head on. I arrived on scene before police (we were 5 minutes behind them) and found the guy in the focus still in his car.
I'll never forget how he looked. No injuries, just sad. And when I asked if he was okay he said "I wish I wasn't."
They took him to be evaluated by psychiatrists. The Student and instructor were both fine but the student ended up dropping from the program.
I'm Turning Boss
I'm a driving instructor but I teach people to drive semi's. The worst student I ever had already had four years of driving experience; with what's called a Rocky set, (45' trailer with a 28' trailer behind it.).
This person couldn't turn for crap, I still wonder how they never hit anyone. So, when I train it's two 28's, that's all they pull for two weeks. So, we take our second turn, a left onto a pretty wide street and they're turning like they're in a car. Like, not even into the intersection and they've already started to turn.
I tell them no, straighten out and go forward until I tell you to turn. They keep turning, I say no! Straighten out and go forward until you pass the double yellow lines! They keep turning and if they keep turning like this we're going to clip another car turning left. At this point I say No! Straight! Just go straight! Thankfully he does.
I tell them to pull over and they do. At this point, I turn to them and scream, "What the hell was that?!"
Give me the keys, I'm driving. I take them back to an intersection, make a right and tell them " That's how you turn, wide." Pull over at a gas station and switch back out. Same thing, crap turns.
I ask them what they're doing? "I'm turning boss!" I say, " No, go deeper, you're going to hit someone."
I took me 5 days just get them to turn. He's a good driver though, just needed some edges worked off.
What Did I Miss?Fear Bugs GIF by Digimate.ioGiphy
I'm a driving instructor, I had a low confidence 16 yo driver on the highway for the first time.
Got her in the middle lane doing 65 when she states... " I think I'm gonna fall asleep " As my mind is processing, WTF did she just say, I look over at her and her head goes clunk up against the drivers window and her eyes are closed and she looked passed out. Her hands are still on the wheel but she turned to the left. Now we are in the left lane heading toward the median.
Her foot went to the floor. I tried to get the car back onto the pavement and I had to switch hands because I needed to get her foot off the accelerator, and get the steering back under control. I got the car back onto the roadway, under control and headed for the breakdown lane on the right side.
With my heart thumping I got the car stopped. At this point, the drivers sits up alertly, laughs and says ha-ha. What did I miss??? She had narcolepsy and she nor her parents ever told anyone. I was obligated to notify DMV, and her permit was revoked, until she was certified by her doctor. Her parents were pissed, but you and I are alive because we got her off the road.
Former instructor here. I was also the office manager for the driver's ed. I mostly did office work but was certified to make extra cash on weekends and to fill in in an emergency. My personal worst was a very sweet, very timid girl who was terrified to go anywhere near the speed limit if it were anything over 30. On back roads in the country that was terrifying.
The worst one I can think of nearly caused an accident while on his driver's license test by just pulling out of the parking lot. That's obviously an automatic fail. So the kid and instructor come back and then the dad comes storming in pissed that his kid failed. He's screaming at me and the instructor while the poor kid is sitting there head in hands obviously mortified by his dad's behavior. I ended up threatening to call the police to finally get him to leave.
The absolute worst drive was after I left the company because I moved but it ended up in the news so I found out. A kid and an instructor were on a drive, great kid by all accounts. Another driver, a dude in his truck was distracted on his phone and hit the driver's ed car. It wasn't a terrible accident but bc of health problems the instructor had he ended up dying later at the hospital. RIP, Paul.
When in Driver's Ed
Not an instructor, but when I was in driver's ed there's was a guy in his third year of the class, second semester. He was a senior, and this was a 1 semester class, so his 6th time. We would be on the driving course, he would go into a different student's zone, I was on the figure 8 and he joined me going the wrong direction (I almost hit a different kid trying to avoid him hitting me), crashed a car through the fence at the end of the course and into the ditch in the field by the course, ended up going the wrong way on the freeway at 70 (no idea how, there was a median barrier), and crashed a car into the auto shop at the school. No idea how he was allowed to take the class in the first place, because he was apparently this bad every time he took the class. Also not sure how he survived his 5 previous times in the class.
My Swan Drive
This is the opposite but I'll never have the chance to share this story otherwise.
I was doing my 2nd "behind the wheel" with a driving instructor. I was already really nervous before I got in the car and she said "You're my last student I'll ever have! They fired me."
After an awkward pause where she stared at me, she laughed and said "No, actually I'm moving to Chicago to work for a local news station."
I didn't find it nearly as funny as she did lol.
Just too MuchDriving The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
Obligatory not a driving instructor but mine told me about all the worst drivers he's had.
He told me about a girl I went to school with (idk why he shared names) and how she refused to get close to the speed limit and he was worried she'd fail because she was too careful.
I asked if he's ever felt like he was in danger and he talked about a guy a long time ago that went way too fast and refused to slow down, blew a stop light, and eventually got pulled over by a cop during his driving lesson.
Small Town Tales
Not an instructor but when I was in driver's ed we had a girl that was terrifying. She was alway over the middle line and hit every pot hole. One especially exciting day she put us in a ditch the car had to be towed out of then on the next lesson side swiped a car in the on coming lane. All while the instructor told us about his second job as a security guard at a popular camping area where he caught my step dad screwing a family friend before he was my step dad.
I asked step father about it he laughed and admitted to it while telling me about said instructor getting caught with my best friend's aunt at the same place. Wild times. My uncle also fought the co-instructor when he was younger gotta love small towns.
Two Wheel Troublecrash fail GIFGiphy
Motorcycle instructor. I had one student blow a turn wobble around back onto the course.
I'm frantically blowing my whistle to "blow the exercise dead." Everyone is stopped but the wayward rider who then slow mo fixated on another student and ran into them. Didn't finish the class.
Not an instructor but this was while I was doing my driving test along with two other people in the car.
Driver one: almost rammed into a group of kids using the cross walk.
Driver two: she was driving and the teacher said to her "do you see anything wrong with what you're doing right now" she then said she didn't and she was DRIVING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD.
He then hit his brakes and said "you failed the test. Now get out!" looks and me and said "your up kid" it didn't help me by starting my drivers test while having two kids in the back crying. But I did pass my test though.
Deathangry he man GIFGiphy
Not an instructor, but someone I know had his instructor scream "we're gonna die!"
I knew an adult woman who said she had lost the right to have a drivers license. When she was sixteen she took the road test, failed it, and hit the instructor with the car after learning she failed. He got a broken leg and she was banned for life from driving.
My first time ever driving a car was with my driving instructor, and I got really confused between the brakes and the gas all the time, I'm sure he thought he was going to die that day. Anyways, the lesson is over and we pull back into the parking lot, and I know that I have to hit the brakes down all the way before putting it in park. But, I forgot which pedal was which and hit the gas all the way down when we were right in front of the building. Thank goodness he was already on edge with me, so he immediately hit the brakes on his side. He practically leaped out of the car lol.
"I have to potty!"
I was the student, and I doubt I was this dude's wildest lesson.
He spent the whole time ranting about his ex-wife and how he "had to" take low-paying jobs so that he would pay less in alimony and child support. Then we get to this park, he tells me to turn into it, and then to park the car. I'm a pretty new driver, so I am inching my way into a spot, trying to get it right even in the empty lot, but then he SLAMS on his instructor brake. He brings the car to a stop in the middle of four spots, blurts out, "I have to potty!" and bolts out of the car into the park's visitor center. I was absolutely flummoxed.
A Bumpdriving slow down GIF by Super SimpleGiphy
My drivers ed teacher when I was 15 told me I was "The only student in all his years of doing this that got stuck on a speed bump."
I was so scared I was going so slow I was not able to make it over the speed bump and got stuck right on the top of it. He was laughing in exasperation.
Not an instructor.
Girl I went to school with was banned from driving her sophomore year when the teacher noticed she was creeping up too fast and instead of hitting the break she hit the gas and drove onto a curb and into a yard and almost hit a house within 6 seconds.
They were excellent instructors too. Best testers I think I ever had.
Taught following distance, stopping distance, not to tailgate, and just tons of information that most people I know that took Drivers Ed didn't even know about.
Really cool people.
How she did that was unmistakably not due to the teachers.
Not a driver's ed instructor but my classmate crashed head on into a huge snowbank during a drive once, I was in the back, instructor in the front. We were in an empty parking lot, I have NO idea how she ended up hitting it but the car was totaled and we had to walk back.
Also the "classroom" was a double wide trailer in another empty parking lot with a 2x4 in the center of the room holding the sagging ceiling up, which my other classmate and friend decided to karate kick out one day.
Edit: Thankfully nothing terrible happened when he kicked the 2x4 out BUT the instructor used to put one of those terrible anti-drunk driving videos on and just go snooze in his office. The video would end and we would wait and wait. Someone would eventually go wake him up. It was kind of a shit show now that I think about it. I'm not a good driver.
Obligatory not an instructor, but my dad once dated a woman who flapped her jaws so much that she couldn't do anything else while talking. She couldn't even eat and talk.
So she gets hired at the local bus company, who would train new hires to get them their CDL if they didn't already have one. My dad also worked there and warned the instructor. "She's going to be too worried about talking to pay attention to what she's doing."
He called it. She talked all the way through training, wouldn't shut up to listen to instruction, would not focus on the training course, and was eventually let go after nearly crashing the training bus into the garage. The instructor told my dad the she was the worst student he'd ever had.
The WitnessHappy New Car GIF by HondaGiphy
Not a instructor, more a witness to two people who were.
Driver's ED in high school was held in a portable room that was located next to the little test track they made (just a closed off portion of student parking) the first incident was someone who confused gas and break and drove the car into a nearby lake, the second was someone who hit reverse and ended up slamming the car into the classroom.
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Have you ever found yourself in a conversation, when someone brings up a topic they aren't too familiar with, but you are?
This gives you the opportunity to sweep in and share your knowledge on the subject.
While one would imagine that your relative expertise on the subject might result in thanks and appreciation, more often than not, the reaction from your friends is "why do you know that?"
Awkward as it may feel at the moment, there are very few people who don't carry some unusual areas of expertise and trivia on subjects most others are most likely unfamiliar with.
Redditor quadruple_b was curious to learn the random facts others have shared which wound up bringing their conversations to a halt, leading them to ask:
What is a really weird fact, that makes people say "why do you know that?"
Octopuses... they're just like us
"Octopuses are usually very antisocial but when they’re under the influence of ecstasy they are more willing to spend time around each other or even hug other octopuses."- Stab_That_Ukulele
The body compensates
"When you are starving, and have little body fat left, your body can grow almost fur-like hair to insulate itself in absence of fat."- A_Stupid_Fish29
"Your body’s normal functions can slow down to accommodate organ disease."
"For example, I have 40% lung function, but my O2 is completely normal at 98% saturation."
"They didn’t discover any lung disease until I had a ct scan done for other reasons and my lungs happened to show up in that."- nocturnal_numbness
What this would do for humanity!
"Cheetahs are so genetically similar that supposedly you can draw blood from one and inject it straight into another one without any health issues in the receiving animal."
"I.E. no blood type or clotting factor variations."- 0ttrbig cats cat GIF by BBC EarthGiphy
So strange, that it makes perfect sense?
"Coca-Cola can help with blood stains."- Buzzed_Woody
Good thing they don't need a toilet...
"Guinea pigs average pooping around 100 times a day."- morgandanso
"In Phoenix, Arizona, you are legally allowed to bury a dead body on your property without asking for permission/getting a permit/etc."
"The city asks that you contact them beforehand so they can send someone out to stake for gas/electric lines, but it’s not required."- hedalexa12digging sarah chalke GIFGiphy
"If provided with a mirror, dolphins will admire their own genitals."- Cymiril
The brain is a delicate creature
"There is a chemical called MPTP that specifically destroys dopaminergic neurons in the brain."
"About 3 days after someone ingests it, they get Parkinson's disease."- SheilaBoof
Gruesome with good intentions?
"In the 1960s or 70s, the Swiss Air Force dropped severed chicken heads all over the forests of Switzerland."
"The chicken heads contained the rabies vaccine, and the airdrop was to vaccinate wild foxes against rabies."- EnormousPurpleGardenfennec fox GIFGiphy
One never knows when learning this newfound information might become useful.
Especially for parents of children eager to buy a Guinea Pig...
As relationships get serious, it's understandable that one will want to know as much as possible about their significant others.
That is, until we make a discovery about them which might forever change how we view our relationship.
Sometimes, it might be a discovery that might just take some getting used to, even if we'd have been better off not knowing.
Other times, however, this newfound information makes remaining in this relationship untenable.
Redditor Mr_MightyMouse was curious to hear what people wished they'd never learned about their past and present relationships, leading them to ask:
"What is the one thing you found out about your S/O you wish you never did?"
He was anything but faithful
"He cheated on me."
"When I had cancer."- stolliolli
Her one true love... wasn't me
"She drunkenly admitted to her friends that her ex-boyfriend was the one and she’ll never get over him."
"Still not sure how to handle that information."- FreeFoot_
Complicit without knowing it.
"She was an opiate addict."
"I was funding her addiction unknowingly."
"I was helping her destroy herself and I was too stupid to realize that."- Local64bithero
Moving way too fast
"Not that it was that traumatic as we were only dating a few weeks, but she started real deal crying when I wouldn't put her on my life insurance."- Toasted_Bagels_R_Gud
Someone needs to sharpen their aim...
"I hang up a towel to dry my hands in the bathroom."
"Sometimes I would find it on the floor and think hmmm the towel fell off the rack."
"TEN YEARS GO BY."
"One day my husband casually says 'you are always so quick to do laundry, like if I accidentally pee on the floor and clean it up with the towel it is gone so quick'."
"I'm like what.... what?"
"So yea, I've been drying my hands with pee towels for 10 years."
"FML."- kperkins1982·max greenfield towel GIFGiphy
A club no one wants to belong to
"I was dating my ex for two years and she drunkenly confessed that she had cheated on every bf she had ever had."
"We broke up not long after."
"Then found out she was also cheating on me with multiple people from the office."
"I’m now happily married!"
"She also hid her then current bf from me when we first hooked up, he was asleep in another bedroom and we was in a different bed."
"She told him I missed the train home and needed a place to get my head down."- JancingSalmon
A stronger connection than they knew.
"He once dated a girl that he was getting fairly serious about until he showed up to a family event and she was there."- rowenaravenclaw0
What was he up to?
"He had a notebook of every detail of my life, including menstrual cycle, and also kept all the details of my friends and family members."
"Even ones I had never mentioned."
"And we were only together for two months."- totalfranmove
The news no one wants to hear
"That she had Cancer, which ultimately took her."
"That is literally the only thing I found out about my late wife that I ever regretted."- d20gamerguy
A happy anniversary indeed.
"This is NSFW."
"She gave me her phone to look for an address and make a restaurant reservation for our 7 year anniversary."
"I don't know why she gave me her phone, but I guess it was just destiny."
"Someone sent her a video on Whatsapp, and the next message says 'tomorrow again?'"
"From the same person."
"Now I am not one of those people who checks my partner's phone, I don't like that."
"But I was curious and clicked on it. It was a full 2 minute video of her hooking up with someone"
"Needless to say there was no anniversary dinner."- kmiaw
Even though everyone here says they wish they'd never learned these things, one has to imagine some of these people are, deep down, grateful.
As they may have been saved from trouble or pain down the line.
Even if it doesn't make these discoveries any easier.
It's ok to be naughty.
But sometimes... you wanna watch yourself.
Naughty can lead to trouble.
And we're talking adult naughty.
Maybe it's time we discussed it all.
Rule #1... Better safe than sorry.
Redditor Black_Hole_Baken-00wanted hear from all the people willing to share sexy secrets that might leave plenty of people blushing. They asked:
"What’s your most shameful NSFW moment?"
Elevators. Stairwells. Planes. You name it. I've shamed it. No Deets...
don't worry I wasn't naked...
"I was watching adult videos in the middle of the night. After I did my deed I felt a slight pain in my balls, like someone flicked their finger on them. The pain increased to the point that I had to walk it out. After some minutes I began screaming from the pain when my parents came to my room (don't worry I wasn't naked) seeing me in pain on the floor."
"At that moment I thought I did something wrong but was to ashamed to tell them.My dad rushed me to the emergency room where I was rushed in and my pants were removed. Laying there they gave me a nose spray which halted some of the pain. The doctor then started fondling my family jewels while the nurse stood next to me reminding me to breath because the nose spray stopped the automatic breathing if that makes sense."
"All the time my dad is standing there looking and the only thing I could thing at that moment was oh no do they think my unit is small. After that the doctors brought me to another room while my dad was in another room. While going trough the halls I told the doctor I probably know the cause and explained that I was pleasuring myself"
"I don't remember the doctors response but I felt truly ashamed like I was the only person doing such a thing. Later the doctor told me I had testicular Torsion which is caused by the balls not being attached to the sack so I'm living in fear of it happening again to this day."
"WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??"
"In the 90's/early 2000's we bought a pub and moved into it. It had a big screen downstairs and we lived above, but Sky Sports was so expensive for the business account we basically hooked the giant screen to our box upstairs so whenever the sport was on it would show on the screen downstairs."
"So we couldn't watch TV upstairs except what was being shown on the big screen when this was happening. Anyway one Sunday evening around 10pm after the sport (bearing in mind the sport finished at 6pm) I was freely browsing through channels because the giant screen has been wound up into the ceiling and my 14 year old self came across some softcore adult videos"
"Curious, I started watching it. Suddenly there was a big buzz from the phone that connected to downstairs, I answer it. It's my mum with laughing in the background. "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??" I was like "errr.. I was just flicking through channels.." "Well you've stayed on that one for a while haven't you?"
"I forgot about the small TV in the bar area. It was still on and was showing the entire pub what my horny self was watching. I was mortified. Luckily my mum never brought it up again and neither did any of the customers thankfully."
I Gotta Go
"When i was 12 my younger sister walked in on me playing fondle the dongle. I told her I couldn't pee and was trying to force/pump it out. She told my mom out of worry. Said I needed a doctor to help me pee. When Mom confronted me about what my sister was saying i then had to explain it to her."
"My mom walked in on me. The look on her face went from incomprehension to shock to utter disgust over the span of a second or two. She stayed calm and explained how it wasn't appropriate, but I just remember how unsmiling and tense she was, totally unlike I'd ever seen her. Decades ago but still cringe so much recalling it."
Oh. My. God. Y'all are animals. And I'm LIIIIVVVING for it!
“underwear”surprise disrobing GIFGiphy
"My dad caught me editing the game files of The Sims to replace the female underwear textures with 'underwear' that just makes them look nude. Looked up reference material and edited them in photoshop. That a lot of effort to put into something so depraved."
"When i was about 10, my parents were out so I looked up some adult videos on the family computer (mistake number 1), then I kept hearing noises and thought someone was in the house so i ran to my room and called my dad, leaving to computer on (mistake number 2)."
"My dad rushed home and went around the house looking for an intruder, no one was there, it was just my next door neighbors (we have a semi-detached house) then obviously saw what i was looking at on the computer and asked me about it… i told him the intruder must of broken in and searched it up :( "
"In middle school, my friend got her boobs and she wanted me to touch them. We probably spent 30 minutes everyday before school until the librarian caught us and we were suspended."
I wonder if she knew...
"My HS gf and I were having sex in the sideways laying down cuddling position. Mom walked in to show me a new Christmas decoration. To her it looked like we were just cuddling but she sat on the bed inches away from me and proceeded to talk about the decoration for like 10 minutes. I wonder if she knew. They never cared much about that stuff so I think she was just oblivious."
"I was violently ill. In my fiancé’s house where we were living. While he was at work, his dad was working from home. I needed my mom to take me to the hospital. I screamed for my father in laws help, who entered the bathroom to my nude body, puking at t in his bathtub. He called my mom for me, and we never spoke about it."
Well I need a cold shower and more vodka.
Don't have sex with people attached to someone already.
There is no good excuse.
There is no reason that makes it worth it.
Most of the time the "reasons" are lies.
RedditorVirtual_Welder_4525wanted to hear from those willing to spill a little tea about some bedmates. They asked:
"People who knowingly have slept with someone who was in a relationship, why did you do it?"
Why do we do it? I still don't know what I was thinking.
Hot. Not.Feeling Dumb Jim Carrey GIFGiphy
"I was young and it made me feel hot/desired . It was dumb."
"She told me that she was in an open relationship but turned out that she was lying."
"Yeah, I had the same thing happen. Girl told me she was in an open relationship, I slept with her, then she told her boyfriend about it. So the next day I get a call from her boyfriend, threatening to kick my @ss."
"Story does have a happy ending though. I had text history of our conversation leading up to the hookup, as well as her texting me about how good it was after I had left. I sent him screenshots, showing proof of her saying she was in an open relationship. He dumped her and apologized for believing her."
Come to your senses...
"I was freshly 18 working a restaurant gig and the attractive shift manger took an interest. Hooked up at work a few times on overnight shifts. One day his gf came in to eat and I realized they weren’t as on and off as he said. Wish I could stay I stopped there, but it happened once or twice more before both of us came to our senses. I think he was 27? Ended up getting my number and sending me inappropriate texts for the next three months after I quit that job. I still feel slimy."
"I was 23 when it started and it went on for years and I felt like literal scum afterward every single time, but the sex was good, and I hated myself, so I figured it was the best I could do and I deserved to feel like crap. I justified it because I wasn't the only one he was cheating on his wife with, he had two or three other girls in rotation. I was just dumb and selfish and self sabotaging."
GrossBasketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1Giphy
"'You were gone! He was here!'", Shadynasty."
Humans will just do it anywhere. Just like pigs.
"I was young and a virgin. She was gorgeous and sweet. She spun me a story about how bad her relationship was and I was hooked."
"I was 20/21 and had finally gotten out of an abusive household and was barely financially stable and not at all mentally stable. He was A LOT older than I was (his son was older than I was by a couple of years) but he did generally treat me pretty well."
"It went on for 4+ years. We were far from an ideal couple, even had he not been married, but overall it was a positive thing in my life at a time when I really needed it, and it became a safety net. It ended years ago and I feel deeply ashamed of it and my actions."
"But I've grown enough to know that I'm not that same person anymore and I'd never repeat it. I did learn that a poly relationship definitely suits me better than a monogamous relationship - but it can and should be done ethically and morally."
Her wife found out...
"I was in love but also young and selfish and could easily ignore that she was married/she was AGGRESSIVE in pursuing me for years (flying across states to see me, tracking me down at restaurants I would frequent, telling me she loved me and her marriage was in shambles, texting me from new numbers every time I told her to leave me alone). We started the stereotypical long-distance emotional affair that went into sexting/sexy pics. Her wife found out."
"I was young and drunk, with low self esteem and a crippling need for validation. She came onto me and I found it hard to say no. I justified it to myself as I knew their relationship was on the rocks anyway. I figured, well it's basically over. They just aren't formally broken up. They did split up a few months later. I'm not excusing it, I knew it was wrong."
"Didn't know any better. Horny stupid teens do stupid horny things. Wouldn't happen nowadays."
Oh the things we do for a hot roll in the hay. Be better people.