Driving Instructors Break Down The Worst Student Driver They've Ever Seen

The roads are a battlefield. The truth is, any fool can obtain a license. I can prove this because I was given one after I failed my test eight times. I finally passed on my ninth swing. I don't even want to get into the decade that followed. Let's just say a local traffic judge knew me by name when we met at a local restaurant. Later I became a teacher for a comedy traffic school for people who got tickets.... the novel I could write. Buckle up out there people.
Redditor u/imnotinsane13 wanted driving instructors to help us out and let us know just how dangerous the road is today because the truth is... anybody can get a license.... they asked.... Driving Instructors of Reddit; who was the worst student you had or the craziest drive you had?
NOW you want a license?!
My instructor told me about a little old lady (LOL for short) who some reason had decided that retirement would be a great time to her license.
So they're coming up to a roundabout and this being a RHT country you're supposed to go to the right. Instructor tells her to take the third exit, and comments that you can signal this by signaling left going through the roundabout. LOL. She misunderstands, signals left and goes freaking left!
Luckily nothing happened and the instructor understood that this particular student had a very low cognitive load threshold and would not be able to smalltalk.
He remembered her fondly and even helped her pick out her new car. As he said, that was the least he could do, it was the most anybody had ever spent on license training at that school... By something like a factor of 4.
Driving as a Weapon
Class A CDL instructor.
Not my drive, but another of our trucks was heading southbound. Student driving, instructor in passenger seat. We are located in mostly suburbs/inner city. Lots of traffic.
Student in the left lane while a car heading northbound swerved into their lane. They hit a Ford Focus head on. I arrived on scene before police (we were 5 minutes behind them) and found the guy in the focus still in his car.
I'll never forget how he looked. No injuries, just sad. And when I asked if he was okay he said "I wish I wasn't."
They took him to be evaluated by psychiatrists. The Student and instructor were both fine but the student ended up dropping from the program.
I'm Turning Boss
I'm a driving instructor but I teach people to drive semi's. The worst student I ever had already had four years of driving experience; with what's called a Rocky set, (45' trailer with a 28' trailer behind it.).
This person couldn't turn for crap, I still wonder how they never hit anyone. So, when I train it's two 28's, that's all they pull for two weeks. So, we take our second turn, a left onto a pretty wide street and they're turning like they're in a car. Like, not even into the intersection and they've already started to turn.
I tell them no, straighten out and go forward until I tell you to turn. They keep turning, I say no! Straighten out and go forward until you pass the double yellow lines! They keep turning and if they keep turning like this we're going to clip another car turning left. At this point I say No! Straight! Just go straight! Thankfully he does.
I tell them to pull over and they do. At this point, I turn to them and scream, "What the hell was that?!"
Give me the keys, I'm driving. I take them back to an intersection, make a right and tell them " That's how you turn, wide." Pull over at a gas station and switch back out. Same thing, crap turns.
I ask them what they're doing? "I'm turning boss!" I say, " No, go deeper, you're going to hit someone."
I took me 5 days just get them to turn. He's a good driver though, just needed some edges worked off.
What Did I Miss?
I'm a driving instructor, I had a low confidence 16 yo driver on the highway for the first time.
Got her in the middle lane doing 65 when she states... " I think I'm gonna fall asleep " As my mind is processing, WTF did she just say, I look over at her and her head goes clunk up against the drivers window and her eyes are closed and she looked passed out. Her hands are still on the wheel but she turned to the left. Now we are in the left lane heading toward the median.
Her foot went to the floor. I tried to get the car back onto the pavement and I had to switch hands because I needed to get her foot off the accelerator, and get the steering back under control. I got the car back onto the roadway, under control and headed for the breakdown lane on the right side.
With my heart thumping I got the car stopped. At this point, the drivers sits up alertly, laughs and says ha-ha. What did I miss??? She had narcolepsy and she nor her parents ever told anyone. I was obligated to notify DMV, and her permit was revoked, until she was certified by her doctor. Her parents were pissed, but you and I are alive because we got her off the road.
Paul
Former instructor here. I was also the office manager for the driver's ed. I mostly did office work but was certified to make extra cash on weekends and to fill in in an emergency. My personal worst was a very sweet, very timid girl who was terrified to go anywhere near the speed limit if it were anything over 30. On back roads in the country that was terrifying.
The worst one I can think of nearly caused an accident while on his driver's license test by just pulling out of the parking lot. That's obviously an automatic fail. So the kid and instructor come back and then the dad comes storming in pissed that his kid failed. He's screaming at me and the instructor while the poor kid is sitting there head in hands obviously mortified by his dad's behavior. I ended up threatening to call the police to finally get him to leave.
The absolute worst drive was after I left the company because I moved but it ended up in the news so I found out. A kid and an instructor were on a drive, great kid by all accounts. Another driver, a dude in his truck was distracted on his phone and hit the driver's ed car. It wasn't a terrible accident but bc of health problems the instructor had he ended up dying later at the hospital. RIP, Paul.
When in Driver's Ed
Not an instructor, but when I was in driver's ed there's was a guy in his third year of the class, second semester. He was a senior, and this was a 1 semester class, so his 6th time. We would be on the driving course, he would go into a different student's zone, I was on the figure 8 and he joined me going the wrong direction (I almost hit a different kid trying to avoid him hitting me), crashed a car through the fence at the end of the course and into the ditch in the field by the course, ended up going the wrong way on the freeway at 70 (no idea how, there was a median barrier), and crashed a car into the auto shop at the school. No idea how he was allowed to take the class in the first place, because he was apparently this bad every time he took the class. Also not sure how he survived his 5 previous times in the class.
My Swan Drive
This is the opposite but I'll never have the chance to share this story otherwise.
I was doing my 2nd "behind the wheel" with a driving instructor. I was already really nervous before I got in the car and she said "You're my last student I'll ever have! They fired me."
After an awkward pause where she stared at me, she laughed and said "No, actually I'm moving to Chicago to work for a local news station."
I didn't find it nearly as funny as she did lol.
Just too Much
Obligatory not a driving instructor but mine told me about all the worst drivers he's had.
He told me about a girl I went to school with (idk why he shared names) and how she refused to get close to the speed limit and he was worried she'd fail because she was too careful.
I asked if he's ever felt like he was in danger and he talked about a guy a long time ago that went way too fast and refused to slow down, blew a stop light, and eventually got pulled over by a cop during his driving lesson.
Small Town Tales
Not an instructor but when I was in driver's ed we had a girl that was terrifying. She was alway over the middle line and hit every pot hole. One especially exciting day she put us in a ditch the car had to be towed out of then on the next lesson side swiped a car in the on coming lane. All while the instructor told us about his second job as a security guard at a popular camping area where he caught my step dad screwing a family friend before he was my step dad.
I asked step father about it he laughed and admitted to it while telling me about said instructor getting caught with my best friend's aunt at the same place. Wild times. My uncle also fought the co-instructor when he was younger gotta love small towns.
Two Wheel Trouble
Motorcycle instructor. I had one student blow a turn wobble around back onto the course.
I'm frantically blowing my whistle to "blow the exercise dead." Everyone is stopped but the wayward rider who then slow mo fixated on another student and ran into them. Didn't finish the class.
Wrong Side
Not an instructor but this was while I was doing my driving test along with two other people in the car.
Driver one: almost rammed into a group of kids using the cross walk.
Driver two: she was driving and the teacher said to her "do you see anything wrong with what you're doing right now" she then said she didn't and she was DRIVING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD.
He then hit his brakes and said "you failed the test. Now get out!" looks and me and said "your up kid" it didn't help me by starting my drivers test while having two kids in the back crying. But I did pass my test though.
Death
Not an instructor, but someone I know had his instructor scream "we're gonna die!"
Whoops....
I knew an adult woman who said she had lost the right to have a drivers license. When she was sixteen she took the road test, failed it, and hit the instructor with the car after learning she failed. He got a broken leg and she was banned for life from driving.
Confusions
My first time ever driving a car was with my driving instructor, and I got really confused between the brakes and the gas all the time, I'm sure he thought he was going to die that day. Anyways, the lesson is over and we pull back into the parking lot, and I know that I have to hit the brakes down all the way before putting it in park. But, I forgot which pedal was which and hit the gas all the way down when we were right in front of the building. Thank goodness he was already on edge with me, so he immediately hit the brakes on his side. He practically leaped out of the car lol.
"I have to potty!"
I was the student, and I doubt I was this dude's wildest lesson.
He spent the whole time ranting about his ex-wife and how he "had to" take low-paying jobs so that he would pay less in alimony and child support. Then we get to this park, he tells me to turn into it, and then to park the car. I'm a pretty new driver, so I am inching my way into a spot, trying to get it right even in the empty lot, but then he SLAMS on his instructor brake. He brings the car to a stop in the middle of four spots, blurts out, "I have to potty!" and bolts out of the car into the park's visitor center. I was absolutely flummoxed.
A Bump
My drivers ed teacher when I was 15 told me I was "The only student in all his years of doing this that got stuck on a speed bump."
I was so scared I was going so slow I was not able to make it over the speed bump and got stuck right on the top of it. He was laughing in exasperation.
Within Seconds
Not an instructor.
Girl I went to school with was banned from driving her sophomore year when the teacher noticed she was creeping up too fast and instead of hitting the break she hit the gas and drove onto a curb and into a yard and almost hit a house within 6 seconds.
So funny.
They were excellent instructors too. Best testers I think I ever had.
Taught following distance, stopping distance, not to tailgate, and just tons of information that most people I know that took Drivers Ed didn't even know about.
Really cool people.
How she did that was unmistakably not due to the teachers.
Snowed In....
Not a driver's ed instructor but my classmate crashed head on into a huge snowbank during a drive once, I was in the back, instructor in the front. We were in an empty parking lot, I have NO idea how she ended up hitting it but the car was totaled and we had to walk back.
Also the "classroom" was a double wide trailer in another empty parking lot with a 2x4 in the center of the room holding the sagging ceiling up, which my other classmate and friend decided to karate kick out one day.
Edit: Thankfully nothing terrible happened when he kicked the 2x4 out BUT the instructor used to put one of those terrible anti-drunk driving videos on and just go snooze in his office. The video would end and we would wait and wait. Someone would eventually go wake him up. It was kind of a shit show now that I think about it. I'm not a good driver.
Shut Up
Obligatory not an instructor, but my dad once dated a woman who flapped her jaws so much that she couldn't do anything else while talking. She couldn't even eat and talk.
So she gets hired at the local bus company, who would train new hires to get them their CDL if they didn't already have one. My dad also worked there and warned the instructor. "She's going to be too worried about talking to pay attention to what she's doing."
He called it. She talked all the way through training, wouldn't shut up to listen to instruction, would not focus on the training course, and was eventually let go after nearly crashing the training bus into the garage. The instructor told my dad the she was the worst student he'd ever had.
Driver's ED in high school was held in a portable room that was located next to the little test track they made (just a closed off portion of student parking) the first incident was someone who confused gas and break and drove the car into a nearby lake, the second was someone who hit reverse and ended up slamming the car into the classroom.
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There are just some things in life that are not necessary knowledge.
Maybe we always hold out that tiny bit of hope we will one day be on Jeopardy... because you never know.
It's the creepy facts about life that leave me wondering and reeling.
RedditorsPanzer_ace_8wanted to compare notes on the things we're aware of that maybe we wish we could forget. They asked:
"What’s a disturbing fact you know?"
I mostly know disturbing facts about serial killers. As if that isn't enough. This should be fun.
Rest Well
"The skin mites that live on your cheeks come to the surface at night to find mates and do the deed. Sleep well."
Hullaba-Loo
Cannibals
"If you were to eat another adult human being, it would be approximately 125,822 calories. I went down a rabbit hole on Google and yeah."
ItsmeTrev
"How come it's almost 126K?"
Blablabblue
"Math. Average human is say 70 kg, has 20% bodyfat, so 14kg of fat. Fat has 9kcal per gram, which makes it. 126,000kcal. Math never lies! But I do make plenty of mistakes. Probably it's more complicated - but directionally seems legit."
NekkidApe
Decay
"Within three days of death, the enzymes from your digestive system begin to digest your body."
floopowdertravels
"I guess it’s reassuring to know your body decays before bugs can even get a shot to help your body decay, sort of like a medical death except your body willingly does it for you instead of doctors."
Standard_Zero_3152
People on Earth
"If you are 25 years old, approximately 1/3 of the entire world's population that existed at your birth, have since died."
ColSurge
How do people just stumble upon this sort of info? Y'all must read.
Gotcha
"Some species of shark will 'waddle' onto land in order to catch more prey."
CARMBLOVER
War
"During World War 2, Japan bombed China with fleas infected with the bubonic plague."
XoGossipgoat94
"Man they were just straight attempting to kill as many civilians of possible with that one."
JesseAster
"This is why a large portion of Chinese loathe the Japanese."
dicker_machs
Crush
"It's believed the USS Thresher or USS Scorpion (don't remember which one) took around 20 minutes to go to crush depth in it's free fall."
Jigsaw_isnt_a_puppet
"My Uni mate is a navy submariner and he said that if a problem isn’t your department you just ignore it, because ultimately it either gets fixed or you die, neither of which are scenarios you can do anything about. Him and a friend were playing Fifa in their bunk when the whole sub tipped to 45 degrees. They just kept playing at 45 degrees… it got fixed eventually but they’re reactor crew so nothing they could do to help either way."
FreegardeAndHisSwans
"body farms"
"There are places called 'body farms' were scientists and researchers look at the decomposition process of human remains in different circumstances. Basically a big area somewhere outside were human, sometimes pig corpses are laid out to be exposed to the natural elements or they're even enclosed somewhere (like the trunk of a car). They're actually important e.g. for forensic anthropology to help solve crimes. And you can donate your body for research after you die!"
ThisMessOfMe
Miles Long
"Your body makes blood vessels of about 7 miles in length for every pound of fat you gain. This in turn strains your heart as it has to work harder to pump blood through the new network of blood vessels."
macaronsforeveryone
Well there are things I never needed to know. But now we do.
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Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Hitchhiking. It has to be one of the most dangerous things a person can do.
There are too many movies where a hitchhiker falls victim to some psycho, and they're shocked it's happening.
Like... Hello?!?! You got into some stranger's car. How could you not get killed?
Also, all throughout childhood years we tell kids to NEVER get into a stranger's car.
But once we're 18 that rule seems to no longer apply.
I feel like it should be MORE prescient in adulthood.
But I'm sure all the survivors have quite the tale to share.
RedditorWestTexasOilmanwanted all of the road travelers to share some memories about past rides. They asked:
"Current or Former Hitchhikers of Reddit; What person that stopped or gave you a ride was the most memorable? Why?"
I just don't have the trust in humans that some of y'all do. How do you get into a stranger's car? Oh no...
Among the Horses
"So a few years ago I was working in a small resort in the French Alps for the ski season."
"About 15-20 of us all worked in a hotel in one valley, the only bar that stayed open past 11 was in a different valley, it was a pretty flat and straight road to it but a good 15 minute drive or hour walk. We would regularly split up into smaller groups to try and hitchhike cause ain't no one stopping for 15 people with their thumbs out."
"Well one time we couldn't be bothered to split up and we just decided to do the walk and not worry. We decided to chance it anyways and stuck our thumbs at to every car that went by, got a lot of honks, shouts etc, all fun and games until one guy stops with a horse trailer."
"He asks where we're going and we say where and he says hop in. Que 4 of us in his truck, 4 in the bed of the truck and the rest in the horse trailer next to this guys horse."
HAZZ3R1
I'm Innocent
"Got picked up in Queensland Australia and after a few quite pleasant hours the driver started freaking out as we came to a police checkpoint. Turns out my new friend had broken out of jail and had stolen the car. I got stuck at Bowen cop shop until I could prove my innocence."
--bedevil--
"not far!"
"I accidentally picked up a hitchhiker once. I was at a red light at the transition between a village and town road (no more sidewalk, road gets busier and a bit more dangerous to walk). A man walked up to my window from the sidewalk and waved like he was going to tell me something (I assume tell me I had a flat tire or something about my car)."
"I rolled down my window and he mumbled something with a smile, and when I motioned that I couldn't understand him, he just nodded happily, grabbed my door handle and got in my car. Once he was in, it was clear that he spoke little to no English (he was Asian, about 25-30 years old, and very polite)."
"He motioned that he appreciated the ride and I asked how far. He understood and said 'not far!' I told him I was only going home which was a mile down the road and that's as far as I could take him. He nodded politely but I'm not sure he understood."
"I drove the mile down the road, and right in front of my neighborhood was a Blockbuster. He motioned to the Blockbuster and said, 'Here, here!' I asked if he was sure and he nodded, thanked me profusely with gestures and bowing with his hands together. I waved and drove off. To this day I've never seen him again and it remains a strange encounter for sure."
User deleted
zest for adventure...
"I have only ever hitchhiked twice in my life, and both times, a ruinous hike was involved lol. In this story, I was left behind by the shuttle because it took me longer to complete the mountain traverse. I was in the middle of nowhere, it was getting dark quickly, and my phone wasn't working."
"An old couple in their 60s, whom I had been chatting with on and off on the trail, noticed my agitation and asked if I was okay. I told them the bus had left me behind and I had no way of getting back to my lodge, which was 30 kilometres away. They offered me a ride even though it was out of their way."
"We got to talking during the drive. I told them that the hike was a first for me as I wanted to do something memorable for my birthday; they joked that maybe I should stick to dinner and movies next time. As for my good Samaritans, they had been travelling the world to celebrate their recent retirement."
"Prior to doing the trek, they had just completed a cross-country motorcycle trip with their son. I was awestruck by their kindness and generosity, their obvious zest for adventure, and the fact that they were still so, so smitten with each other after all these years."
gagagamgee
"you like hasish?"
"Hitchhiking in Israel with my partner in the 90s. We were picked up by these Palestinian brothers."
"After a bit of chit chat the one in the passenger seat says 'you like hasish?' Pulls out a big joint which we all smoked. He then says 'my brother, he's a cop,' then pulls out his glock and starts waving it around. 'It's all good' he says. We had a good chat, many laughs and after half an hour they dropped us off. We realized we were only about 100 metres further down the road from where we were picked up."
theotherbruce
How have so many of you survived this long? Luck.
In Scotland
"About six years ago I was hitchhiking in Scotland, heading north to do some wild camping."
"My second ride, I got picked up by a Scottish guy, I could barely understand what he was saying because of the accent. He was heading into Glencoe to climb a hill and camp at the top, so I joined him. Long story short I now live in Scotland, we've been married for 4 years, and I now understand 99% of what he says."
Affectionate-Rub-936
Maine
"My most memorable ride was also my shortest. A guy pulled over in the middle of nowhere Maine. He said our path's would diverge just over the bridge but he'd give us a ride anyway. So we got in for the 100 foot ride. After we got out, he leaned over to the open passenger side window and said in a gravelly voice, 'Life does not give a rat's @ss who lives it.' And he drove off."
valleymountain
The Racoon
"I once picked up a guy wearing a black leather trench coat in 100 degree weather. He was young and friendly, made good conversation, but he absolutely reeked. Finally I couldn't really stand it and was like, 'Man, I'm sorry, but I gotta tell you that you f**king stink.' And he goes, 'Oh haha yeah, it's probably my racoon,' then he opens his jacket and he has a freaking racoon pelt tacked to a piece of cardboard."
maselsy
The Blizzard
"Memorable more for the reason I was hitchhiking. I had driven a few hours away from where I live and payed my last past penny to get training for my desired career. I barely had enough money to attend, and couldn't afford a hotel, so I packed a sleeping bag, and everything I needed to sleep in the back of my van at the training center."
"It was mid spring and was supposed to be pretty warm in the day, and a tad nippy at night, but we ended up having a freak blizzard. The Van was absolutely freezing so I decided to turn it on to keep warm and hope I didn't use too much gas. As it turned out my battery had died in the cold and I had a 2-hour walk, in a blizzard, to get in to town to try and get help."
"By some miracle I spotted a truck about an hour in. The driver had arrived too early to drop off his load, and decided to park on this empty dirt road to rest for the night. He ended up giving me some food, and jumping my car. I managed to stay warm the rest of the night, and get home after the last of the training."
"Definitely one of the scariest moments of my life, because I don't think I would have made it town with all my toes if I'd had to walk another hour."
Vypernorad
This is nice...
"Not a naughty story, sorry... but I got a lift once while hitching during my army days. Hopped into the car, slightly distracted. Noticed wood panelling, leather seats, etc. That bonnet going on for 2km in front of the car. Turned out to be a vintage Rolls-Royce."
Namibbat2
This is why I fly. Y'all are crazy.
There are many people who are seen as role models, but that doesn't mean those who inspire others can cause mischief.
And while some bad choices warrant reprimanding, there are other instances where yelling is not really necessary.
Curious to hear examples in which people were berated for inconsequential reasons, Redditor Ratzink asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you've ever been yelled at for?"

Students being disciplined at school is expected. However, there are exceptions.
No Phone Zone
"I was in 8th grade waiting to be picked up from school. I didn't see my mother after awhile, so I got my cell phone out (it was a nokia block phone) and was about to call her to see if she parked somewhere."
"This older woman came over and got in my face. She yelled at me to put my phone away or she would confiscate it, and if I had to make a call, I would have to cross the street and do it."
"A really congested street full of cars with no crosswalk nearby; I would have to leave the pickup zone by myself."
– SarahTheJuneBug
"It was WELL past 3 pm (school was out and I was not breaking any rules) and this hag got pissed by just seeing a block phone that barely did anything beyond calls. I just put my phone away and waited for her to leave."
"Thankfully, Mom showed up not long after that. She was angry when I told her what that lady said. She told me she was a b*tch and that I did nothing wrong, and added that if anyone actually ever confiscated my phone for trying to get in contact with her after school was over that she'd deal with it for me. I also asked a teacher about it the following day; she was just as baffled as I was and agreed I wasn't breaking any rules."
– SarahTheJuneBug
Bitter About The Funeral
"I told my Math teacher I was leaving class in 15 mins to go to a funeral, my friend had just died."
"She said no, and I was like 'thats fine, but I'm still going... its my friends funeral.'"
"And then her face went so red and she shouted in front of the class 'I watched my mother and father die right in front of me, what makes you so special.'"
"I was like woah. The whole class was like woah. The teacher must have been having a bad day but she screamed so loud, and her parents dying was not relevant to me going to a funeral. Was super weird."
– [deleted]
Playing With Food
"I once measured a Fruit by the Foot with a ruler when I was in third grade. Lunch lady accused me of playing with my food and I got in trouble. I genuinely really wanted to just measure it to see if it was actually three feet long."
– TheRealOcsiban
Looking For A Place To Sit
"In 5th grade, I got sent to the principal's office for the first time. I asked the secretary where I could sit and I immediately got scolded, telling me I'm wasting her time for even asking her that question. She even brought the principal over and told me to repeat my question just to further lecture me on how stupid of a question it was and how much it wasted her time. Yea."
– MrJerhomie
People got all in a tizzy with these work-related issues.
The Deal Breaker
"I was dating this girl. She had been looking for jobs for a while with no luck, and I was looking too. My friend offered to pass my resume to their boss for a job in my field after they got one that paid better. I ended up interviewing, then getting the job."
"The first thing that happened after I told the ex was her she yelling at me for getting the job. 'Why did I have to accept a job?' 'Why did you have to take the easy route by getting a job through a friend?' 'Why did you have to apply there?' 'You lied because you didn't want to work with friend.'"
"And no the relationship didn't last much longer after that."
– Responsible_Yak832
Mad Customer
"My absolute favorite: I was working at a bakery, helping out a dude who I could tell was about two seconds away from losing his entire sh*t."
"Nothing due to anything I or the bread were doing; he looked to just be having one of those days and was only barely keeping it contained. After handling the entire interaction like a ticking explosive, I finally ring him out, hand him his stuff, and offer the customer service standard, 'Have a nice day!'"
Which was apparently the thing that sent him over, as he spat out, 'I will NOT!"' spun on his heels, and stomped away like a petulant toddler."
– mus_maximus
People need to be clear about who did what before accusations fly.
Who Hit Who?
"When I was 11, my mother started yelling at me for hitting my 5yo brother. That's understandable, if I had hit him. He had hit me. Literally walked up to me, slapped me in the face, and ran away laughing. Turns out he had run to our mom after fake crying and told her that I hit him. She thought I was lying about it until she realised he had started laughing."
– Hot_Interaction7245
Mistaken For A Menace
"On my local summer swim team when I was maybe 8 years old I had the same first name as some other kid who was a total menace. He’d splash water in girls’ faces and pull on their bathing suits thinking it was flirting, etc."
"One day at practice we’re all hanging out on the edge of the pool and I’m talking to my buddy, and there’s a girl on the other side of me. Suddenly her mom, let’s call her Karen, comes rushing over and says 'HEY! WHAT’S YOUR NAME?' I’m confused and look around me to see if she’s talking to someone else and she says 'YEA YOU!' So I say 'uuuuh… {my name}. Why?'”
"She then grabs my arm yanking me halfway out of the pool and starts yelling at me and I don’t really remember what all she said but it was some mix of 'YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER' (the girl who happened to be next to me) and 'WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS??' all while spitting as she yelled."
"And I was just a terrified, confused kid who’d been assaulted for no reason by this crazy lady and was trying to ask what she was talking about, who her daughter was, what I had apparently accidentally done, but she wouldn’t let me get a word in."
"Finally her daughter got her attention yelling 'Mom… MOM… MOM!!'”
“WHAT!?!”
“That’s the wrong boy…”
"She dropped me pretty quickly and looked super embarrassed but was probably still just red from yelling. She gave me a quick 'oh sorry' and just walked away."
"When I got picked up and my mom asked how practice was I just said 'fine… some crazy lady yelled at me but it was a mistake.' My mom looked confused, took me home, and that was it."
– DunderMifflinPaper
Embarrassingly, I was the idiot who yelled at someone for a stupid reason.
Years ago, I felt water sprinkles periodically hit my face while watching Jurassic Park in a packed movie theater.
I may have imagined it but I thought I heard giggling following every splash of water I felt. I was so convinced some kid had a water gun and was targeting me throughout the movie.
During the climactic T-Rex scene–where the tension is amplified without a score to accompany the encounter–I snapped and filled the silence with my wrath.
"Knock it off!" I yelled behind me, generally addressing the audience.
The kid sitting next to me leaned over and whispered in my ear, "It's the ceiling. It's leaking from the bad AC unit."
As soon as the credits started rolling I bee-lined it out of there before anyone could match the face to the temperamental, but very daft, moviegoer.
Let's put this up front: the United States of America is not the greatest country in the world.
It's just a fact. We're not tops in the world in education, our maternity leave for new mothers pales in comparison to most European countries, which is to say nothing of our healthcare as a whole, and our average income per household?
8th. Last we checked, that's not 1st.
It's not all doom and gloom though. There are still a lot of things to love about the good ol' U. S. of A. And if you love something, you fight for it, to make it better, and truly try to achieve the ranking of "best."
Reddit user, kake92, wanted to know what the U.S.A. actually gets right when they asked:
"Americans, what thing do you appreciate the most about America (USA)?"
Not everything that makes the U.S.A. great is honorable or noble.
Sometimes, it's just funny.
Too Much, Then Dial It Back
"Drink refills at restaurants."
MisterMorgan1206
"You get ice! And you get ice! And you get ice!"
PrisonerV
"yes, and most of the time way too much! Europeans complain that we are obsessed with ice. This might appear to be true, but im more comfortable asking for less ice in the US than for ice at all in Europe."
MisterMorgan1206
I May Not Agree With What You're Doing, But...
"we can have all sorts of outlets that mock people in positions of authority and dont get sent to labor camps or prison"
"hell we can burn our own flag"
"pretty gud I think"
King-Grey
"I think people who burn our flag are sh-theads, but I'll defend their right to do so to the death, and that's a fact. I don't always love what I hear from "free speech" but I love that it's free. For now, anyhow.."
LittleArkansas
You know what we have a lot here? Land!
There's a lot of land and a lot of land to see, so why not take a trip this summer and get lost in the wilderness of your imagination.
This is starting to sound like a travel ad.
The Most Gorgeous Vacation You Haven't Taken
"National Parks"
Ezzy17
"Sounds braggy, but I work for the National Park Service and it's the best job I've ever had in my career. I don't think I ever want to leave. Plus, paid trips to all the parks and getting to see things "off the beaten path" that normal visitors just can't get to. I love it and I love our parks."
clyde2003
Not As Crowded As You Might Think
"Wide open spaces can still be found here. I don't like most people, and I frequently need to get away from them."
salthecrawfish
"I grew up in rural Idaho and the wide open spaces are truly amazing. I live in the city now, but still look for any opportunity to get away. My wife is from back east and she thought she knew what the "middle of nowhere" was like until I took her to my grandparent's ranch. The nearest neighbor is five miles away. The nearest "town" is 30 miles away. She didn't realize how much nothing there was in the Western-half of the US."
clyde2003
And We've Got The Disaster Movies To Prove It!
"We've got all the weather. You want hot and humid? We have it! You want frigid? We have it! You want all the weather within 24 hours? We definitely have it!"
"Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes (not weather, I know), lightning? We've got it all!"
CitizenCobalt
Location, Location, Location
"This is going to sound really dark but with all the talk of war recently…especially with the Russian invasion of Ukraine, I appreciate how far we are from all the other major powers."
"Yes, they can always send missiles but any land invasion is very difficult to achieve. China and Russia would have to put in major effort if they were going to try to invade America….."
OSUfirebird18
Maybe we're not the "greatest country in the world," but we should all be doing everything we can, every day, to make that come true.
Go Do What You Want
"Answering this as a serial expat that has spent at this point 25% of my life overseas and has lived in multiple countries."
"Few places on Earth embrace the "go do what you want" mentality like America. You want to be a wiccan priestess that lives in a yurt in the Cascade mountains? You want to be a rancher in Utah?"
"You want to live your dream of opening a cupcake store for pets? No matter what you do there is a community of people cheering you on in America and that is a very rare and very cool thing."
RootlessNumbers
Mostly, We're Alright
"I have lived in lots of other countries, but I am from the US. I have a few things to point out."
"The roads are generally nice. Smooth, without huge potholes. I am generally talking about the highways."
"Cleanliness. I have been to places with mountains of trash 6 feet high. Another related thing is that the US has very few stray dogs, and that keeps things overall cleaner."
"The last thing is kind of hard to explain, but I would say the sense of order. Everything is structured, and I kinda like it. The places I have lived, people are just not raised with the mindset that everything should be standardized."
"It really grinds my gears when people talk about how bad the U.S. is. It does have its problems. So does every country. When people go on and on about how bad the US is, I try to put it in to perspective how much worse it can be. My house almost got burned down because the government removed the gas subsidies (which after having them for 2 decades, were bankrupting the government) and people were afraid that the transportation system would shut down. I doubt many people who complain about the US have experienced that."
Mawd14
We're Trying To Get Better, A Little, Every Day
"Having lived outside of the US, I have some perspectives that differ from the norm."
"I’m gonna say some stuff that is gonna make Americans and foreigners alike scratch their heads but I’m hoping some people will know what I’m talking about."
"I truly and wholeheartedly believe that America is the least xenophobic place on the planet."
"I think that xenophobia is so deeply ingrained and normalized the world over that people genuinely do not recognize it in themselves. People will engage in the most hateful xenophobic behavior that I’ve ever seen and then say with a straight face that they are afraid of moving to America because of xenophobia."
"I think that people think America is xenophobic because America’s xenophobia is highlighted, fought, and condemned in ways that no other nation’s is."
"This is because of the second thing that I love about America."
"America is the most diverse nation in the world."
"More than half of our population is people of color, and those people of color are made up of American Black people, North Africans, Sub-Saharan Africans, Native tribes, East Asians, south Asians, central Asians, Latin Americans, Pacific Islanders, Indians, Arabs, and more."
"Every single world diaspora has a politically significant population in America, most of whom are also American citizens who participate in our democracy and our national conversation."
"No other nation in the world comes even close. France and England also have diaspora but not like America does."
"This diversity has created an environment in which that xenophobia which does exist is magnified in its relevance because it actively effects people; a xenophobic American has much more opportunity to cause harm because of their xenophobia than a xenophobic Chinese person."
"But also, this means that America is the epicenter of the movements against xenophobia, and we are the only nation in the world who is engaged in a national conversation about it."
"I’d argue that America is not more xenophobic and thus more backwards than the rest of the world, I’d argue that America has advanced to the stage in attacking our xenophobia that the rest of the world isn’t even close to doing yet."
Brandywine5
We many not get everything right, but it doesn't mean it's not worth living here, fighting for here, and always doing our best to make sure the mistakes get corrected.
What's something you like about living in the United States? Tell us about it in the comments!