Unless you've been a member of the armed forces, you may only know drill sergeants as uncompassionate leaders who yell at privates all the time.
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"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
People Share The Scariest Thing They've Ever Experienced While Home Alone | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
"Not me, but my uncle is a drill instructor for Canadian Cadets and basically when the trainees were saluting, one of them karate chopped their own eye and he was so nonchalant about it that he just had one eye open for 5 minutes and my uncle was trying so hard to contain his laughter."
"I could only imagine how embarrassing that would be."
Consequences Of Volunteering
"This one was told to me by a retired army vet. The platoon was gathered and the instructor says 'We need someone to drive the colonel around base. Who has an Ohio driver's license?' So he whips out his ID all excited like and gets picked. Then one of the instructors pulls out a push broom and says 'Salute the colonel!' So he ends up sweeping the base for the day. Moral of the story, don't volunteer for anything."
"When you come off a shooting range you have to be checked to make sure you aren't taking any live ammo off of the range. The DS would pat you down and check your pockets/magazine pouches for any."
"One guy smuggled an apple out of the dining hall at breakfast and was storing it in his grenade pouch. As he was coming off of the range the DS felt in the pouch and asked him what it was. He had to eat the entire thing right there including the core. He was Jonny Appleseed for the rest of training."
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Not a DI, but we had this kid in my platoon pass out from heat exhaustion while staying in the sh**ty range barracks on Parris Island (Marines) DI's made us get on line and force fed us all water in a timed period and had to hold the canteen of water over your head upside down whether it was empty or not when the time ran out, then we all ran back to the bathroom and filled our canteens with water and ran back on line. Repeat this about 4 more times and eventually 1 recruit puked EVERYWHERE, AND THAT CAUSED ANOTHER RECRUIT TO PUKE, AND THEN THAT CAUSED EVEN MORE IN A HORRIBLE CHAIN REACTION OF EVENTS. I had to hide behind one of the columns because I was about to start laughing my butt off... THEN I SMELT THE OVERWHELMING STENCH OF STOMACH ACID IT WAS HORRIBLE."
"Luckily I didn't throw up, still one of my fondest memories during that horrible 3 months."
"Day one of basic training, a private in another Platoon came down to formation wearing one summer boot and one winter boot, I noticed it and laughed. 10 minutes later, and a Drill Sergeant from that Platoon had still not made the private go and fix himself."
"I informed the other Drill sergeant of the situation; wondering if maybe she hadn't noticed, so she yelled at him to go change."
"Another 10 minutes later and I heard her screaming again."
"The private had come back downstairs with the OTHER winter boot and the OTHER summer boot on."
Bed Sheet Cloak
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.
Sometimes being naked isn't the sexiest look there is.
Certain articles of clothing were designed to accentuate all of our gifts.
The mystery a fantastic piece of clothing can create can also heighten the mood.
That's why lingerie is a billion-dollar industry.
Sexy cloth. Can lead to sexy time.
Redditor Great-Tiger6307 wanted to get into the sexy of it all when it comes to choices in fashion.They asked:
"What clothes worn are sexier than being naked?"
I love a tightly fitted tee. It speaks volumes on the right body.
"Skirt, thigh highs and a bra."
"And with a garter belt and matching panties. Can’t leave those out."
"A long dress with a naked back (and no bra under) bonus point if there is a side split."
"I just love how it's the perfect blend of sexiness and elegance."
"Every Bond movie will force an event where the girl is able to wear a dress like that, for this obvious reason."
"According to my old school, anything that revealed a shoulder or a kneepad."
"As a guy who was once a teenager, an exposed shoulder was legit enough to distract for the length of the entire class, and then some. Still 100% bullcrap to demand that the girls cover them so onlookers don't get distracted, though. Teach your kids self discipline and we'll be all good."
"Women in red dresses."
"Thigh-highs and panties and girls in red dresses. Flannel and T-shirts and mostly-kempt tresses. Garters and chokers, all tied up with string. These are a few of my favorite things"
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"Buff man wearing flannel."
"Ah. The Plaiddy Daddy."
Work that flannel and a Bounty paper towel roll.
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"Buff man in a kilt."
"Lol. “DUFFMAN… can’t breathe… oh no."
"A Clone Trooper Phase II armor."
"'Yes honey, you can leave the helmet on tonight.'“
"Mini skirt and thigh highs."
"Sheer white thigh highs with no lace pattern at the top."
"Seen that a lot XD I honestly also just gotta say thigh highs are one the most comfiest pieces of clothing I could wear."
"Any clothing that's provocative enough is sexier than being naked in my opinion."
"I've always held the firm belief that being clothed is sexier than being nude. Nudism is beauty, it's art. Lingerie, pushup bras, and tight underwear accentuate the curves. It doesn't just hide and tease you; it gives you a perfect frame. Do you understand? Now put on the clown shoes."
Sometimes a little bit of clothes can make for a little more magic.
God is a big part of life.
It's become a contentious topic in life for many to discuss.
So people are so driven by faith.
And many others find it just a fun fantasy.
But what many of us believe is deeply personal.
And that should be respected.
Redditor Glittering _Leading74 wanted to talk about one of life's most controversial issues: God. They asked:
"Do you think God is real, and why?"
I believe in God. I just sort of have to. I'm also afraid of death.
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"At this point in time, No. I've explored several denonminations and attended a church faithfully for a big part of my life, participated in Sunday school as a child and adult, read the bible, prayed."
"But finally accepted that I don't believe in God. I think the God concept is more about feeling connected to something bigger than yourself. Feeling connected to yourself and others. But I don't feel connected and I don't have faith or trust."
"Live a good life. If there are Gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are Gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. - Marcus Aurelius"
"I really hope God is real but lacking any proof it seems like a fantasy to me. I'm terrified of death currently because I don't have a real belief system. I'd be so comforted if I were able to rely on any afterlife at all."
"Yep if God doesn't understand why I didn't believe then he is not God! 1000s of religions pick the wrong one suffer for eternity! Once again all eternity humans are full of sh*t were barely a blip in the universe's timeline."
"One of the biggest reasons I don't believe in God is precisely because i presume it was an invention made by a group of people who used their new religion as a weapon to earn easy cash thanks to the fact that it was really not hard to fool people in that era (even easier considering that they probably targeted poor people who needed something to give them a will to keep living in awful conditions)."
"Thats why they tried to silence a lot of intelligent people (for example, Galileo Galilei, who supported the idea that the Earth and the rest of the planets were the ones orbiting around the Sun, instead of the greek theory that the Catholic church imposed that said that the planets and the Sun orbited around the Earth) who, if they hadn't been stopped by the Church, technology would be a lot more advanced than what we have today."
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"No, was raised a Christian but have had so much loss and general not having enough proof and such and just didn’t enjoy it that I quit believing in it."
Being raised certain ways can lead to more questions than answers.
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"I do but I don't really follow any religion. I have my own ideas about everything. And there ain't really a reason why. I guess I just wanna believe that there is life after death or something."
I can’t handle that...
"My dad was a minister. I tried SO hard to believe for my parents’ sake mostly. But I just can’t. I also cringe so hard when people talk about 'God was with him, that’s why he was ok' or 'God saved her!' or 'God was obviously present in this terrible tornado because the bibles in the pews were unmoved.' I can’t handle that. That’s like saying God abandoned the person who wasn’t ok."
"God didn’t want to save that other person. God cared more about bibles in a building than he cared about the actual real lives lost in the tornado. I can’t believe or worship something like that. I also used to say I believed in something, but wasn’t sure it was the Christian God. Now I’m not even convinced of that. Most of the miracles I see happening are the pure results of science."
"I have major issues with organized religion. But I can't be sure about anything else. I feel like maybe there is something there, and idk what it is. But I'm trying to live my life as a decent person either way. I do like the story of Jesus. With or without all the majorly religious stuff, he was just a good guy running around being nice to people and telling people not to be a**holes."
"I like the way that Jesus didn't have any problem with anyone who wasn't victimizing another person.
ETA - honestly it's the story of Jesus that gives me such huge issues with organized Christianity. This is their savior, right? Paid for sins and set the world right. But apparently they want to keep Judas-ing him, the way they act."
"Having faith of a God kind of just gives me more purpose and makes me more at ease about whatever comes after death. Even if he turns out not to be real then the important thing is I had guidance to follow instead of pondering the point of my useless existence and living for nothing. It's not about following God, It's about following your own beliefs that give you comfort in this crumbling world you will one day leave."
No AppealOver It Wow GIF by The Comeback HBOGiphy
"No. Raised religious but it just never appealed to me. I don’t think about it, question it, or wonder about anything religious or spiritual in nature. Just complete non-interest."
This will probably never be an issue with an answer that makes anyone happy. So believe what brings you comfort.
What do you believe happens after death? Let us know in the comments.
Most of the wild kingdom is far more ingenious and kind than us.
And when they do get "snippy," it's usually in reaction to humans.
They share food, build one another home, and will adopt lost creatures from another family.
We have a lot to learn from them.
Redditor pancakebunny15 wanted to discuss the best knowledge that can be shared about animal kingdom.They asked:
"What is a wholesome animal fact you know?"
I have two dogs. They make me feel better. That's my wholesome take.
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"When they hear running water, beavers will automatically start to build a dam. We know this because people put a speaker playing sounds of running water next to beavers, and the first thing they did was start building a dam on the speaker."
"There are reports of elephants finding humans sleeping under trees and the elephants think they're dead. People have woken up with elephants gently stroking them with their trunk and in some cases they try to cover them with branches and sticks as a 'burial.' Elephants are one of the few animals who mourn their dead and have rituals."
"I saw a video not too long ago of some research ravens given small toys to play with. When the researchers came to collect the toys the ravens hid the toys and tried to trick the researchers into looking in fake hiding spots so they wouldn't find and take the toys away."
"Ravens are crazy smart. They can use tools to solve problems, remember human faces especially ones they have a grudge or connection with, and will sometimes bring trinkets for people who give them food and such."
"Orcas have incredibly complex social structures. They have different languages and regional dialects. They have names. They sing and dance. Pods that are close and speak the same language will mourn deaths and celebrate births together, even from other pods, other families."
"Their young are largely taught by the matriarch(s) of the pod, and they're able to teach verbally, rather than by showing. This means they have culture. Traditions, not just instinct or patterns. One of the only animals in the world that has that."
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"In Switzerland it is illegal to own only one Guinea Pig as they get lonely."
Two of every pet is always best.
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"Despite all the weirdness that is the Platypus, they are still discovering weird things about it. Within the past two years it was discovered that platypus fur glows blue-green when exposed to ultraviolet light."
"Wild wolf packs and murders of crows form bonds over time. The crows help lead the wolves to live prey and in return and crows get the scraps after the wolf pack has eaten their fill. Crows have been seen playing with wolf pups and bringing them sticks and feathers as gifts."
"These same crows and wolf pups reunite as adults and do the deal time and time again. Sometimes the birds and carnivores just hang out together, supposedly just to enjoy each other's time. Like Hood Nature (Casual Geographic) once said, 'There's a Disney movie in here, I just know it.'"
Sharing is Caring
"Vampire bats will share food with other vampire bats who haven't fed in the last day or two (their metabolism means they die if they don't eat roughly every three days). This helps support members of the colony, even though it puts the sharer at risk. It is considered one of the few forms of altruism observed in non-human animals."
"My father in law worked for a commercial plumbing company. They got a job putting in all the water related stuff for the primate enclosures at the local zoo. While working near orangutans, they had to not leave their tools unattended, and take inventory when they left. The orangutans would try to use the tools to take their enclosure apart."
"Bonus Wholesome: Years later, my son got a book on animals at the book fair. Reading it together, when we got to the part about orangutans it said, 'orangutans are so smart, plumbers working on their enclosures at the (Hometown) Zoo had to be careful not to get their tools taken when working on their enclosure.'"
"I said, 'Holy crap, they are talking about your grandpa!!'"
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"Zebras can’t sleep alone which leads to my theory Marty spent like 80% of the Madagascar movies as a raging insomniac hence explaining his erratic personality at times."
I love animals. They're so much better than us humans.
Okay hear me out, Zombie apocalypse films all get it wrong.
They focus on things like ammo, cool cars, and buff people trained in hand-to-hand combat (all of which are cool things) but fail to take into consideration that the true hero of the apocalypse is likely to be... secretly freaky suburban moms.
Reddit user DrillSargeee asked:
"What common household item would be priceless in a post-apocalyptic scenario?"
We'll get back to my theory that Britney Spears from the "If You Seek Amy" video might actually be our post-apocalyptic final girl superhero, but first let's talk to Reddit.
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"Absolutely. You only need a teeny tiny bit to make a lot of water drinkable."
"I was told by one of my patients who survived in Germany during WWII. She asked me multiple times if I kept enough bleach at home. She said it was by far the thing they used most, in order to purify water for drinking."
"Bleach starts to degrade after six months and gets less effective by 20% every year. And that’s if you store it properly. So make sure to adjust calculations if using older bleach."
"That's uselful for anything"
"Much like the Force, it has a dark side and a light side and it binds things together."
"Every time we go hiking my dad brings duct tape, and every single time we use it. It's pretty impressive stuff"
"I remember seeing one of those prepper shows, and he was talking about legit prepping for a zombie apocalypse."
"This bit always stayed with me cos I thought it was genius, but he was suggesting wrapping duct tape around clothes to create a kinda makeshift leather armour. to protect against bites."
Multi Use Shovel
"(based on a roleplaying session with very limited tools. My character was quickly nicknamed 'Shovel' based on the multitude of problems he could solve with the only item he could find)"
"Digging holes, cracking skulls, digging holes for the cracked skulls"
"Ah, that satisfying 'Pang!' from hitting a face *just* right! -Chef's kiss-"
"Is it a Tactical Shovel with 1,000,001 uses including eating ice cream?"
"When my mom took me and my sister to stock ourselves with a bug out bag, one of the first things I grabbed was a collapsible shovel."
"Entrenching, making fire pits, one edge is serrated for cutting wood, and the handle is designed to make it easy to use as a makeshift battle axe. Probably in the top 3 of most important tools I have."
Iron, Cast Iron
"I have a cast iron skillet that I use so much it feels like part of my hand. Seasoned to a black mirror shine. It's a pan, it's a bowl, it's a melee weapon, what more could you need?"
"I had so many answers, then I read this.."
"It's just too useful to leave."
"Proper iron intake is essential for survival. You get iron simply by cooking in your skillet. You may have the best answer here."
"Who knew, right?"
"Books, because hiding out in a bunker would probably get old quick"
"Things like manuals, encyclopedias, atlases and even cookbooks hold a lot of knowledge that would definitely come in handy."
"I have an antique pharmacists' guide from the 1890's that I bet would be useful!"
"It doesn't just list how to make medications. It lists how to make things like lotion and diaper rash cream and toothache powders. All types of daily things."
"Nice one. Cabin fever might be the intro to full-blown mental breakdown."
Unibrow Or Not, Useful .
"Tweezers… I know that’s not a kitchen thing… but they come in handy from splinters to unibrows. As for an actual kitchen thing, perhaps a sturdy pot and sharp knife (weapons and food prep)."
"I'm letting my unibrow go if we get to post-apocolypse. (Tweezers are super useful though)"
"So many medical uses for tweezers! You can perform a minor surgery with tweezers and a sharp knife."
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"A Leatherman multi-tool."
"We called them diggits in the navy. I always have one on me and my wife got me an upgraded one last birthday."
"Good to know. I just bought my boyfriend one for his birthday."
"Ha ! Was here for saying that. It's a tool with a range of uses beyond imagination."
"Weights and measures are often overlooked in dystopian fiction. But they form the very basis of early/emerging economies. Having a reliable scale means you can conduct trade and bartering effectively and consistently."
"Especially an analogue scale. Digital scales will eventually need rechargeable batteries and a screen replacement."
"God damn. You just blew my mind. Never once thought of this, thank you"
"Especially if we go back to precious metal dependence"
"I have a feeling you're going to be dosing medicinal herbs before you conduct trade."
"Or mixing up saltpeter, sulfur and charcoal."
"But good answer 👍"
Buy Or Harvest , Vitamin C
"Humans cannot produce it but need it. Depending on what SHTF scenario, transportation might be impacted, meaning no fresh foods and no vitamin c until you can grow something. Some cheap vitamin c tabs could prevent issues due to vitamin c deficiency"
"Nettles make a wonderful spring tonic due to all of the needed chemicals they contain. People used to make a tea with nettles and peppermint (it's really tasty too) to help recover after a long winter."
"I don't know where you live but in my area most people have dozens of plants that contain high concentrations of vitamin C right in their yards, and many can be harvested year round"
"Birch bark tea/sap fixes that issue."
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"Good quality knives."
"Knife sharpener too"
"This is the only good answer here. People think perishables and medicines will matter. Those things only matter in society because we continue to replace them. In the apocalypse, they are only stop-gaps."
"They buy you time but they solve nothing. You will eventually run out of them and you will be back at square one. Everyone here is also assuming the incredible privilege of sheltering in place. In a true apocalypse, nowhere is safe. You will have to be a nomad or be incredibly lucky to find a tiny oasis of civilization. Even then, there won't be anything remotely resembling modern drug production or agriculture."
"The only people surviving the apocalypse are the people already living like they're in one. (Not me)."
Well, we're certainly going to add some of these items to our bug out bags if Z-day every does come.
Do you have something to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.