Being in the army, or any branch of service for that matter, doesn't look like much fun. Not that it's suppose to be a rip roaring good time, but it seems to have that bit of extra stress when it comes to being an officer. The officers above others make no qualms about being hardcore in bootcamp and constant training. Drill sergeants will tell you service is war, on and off the field. However once and awhile there are a few moments of levity. The new recruits are gonna fall down while learning and that can be a little funny. Can't it?
Redditor u/GluxDope really wanted to get a good chuckle by asking.... Drill Instructors/Drill Sergeants of Reddit, what's the funniest thing you've seen a recruit do that you couldn't laugh at?
The Geese....
GiphyHad one recruit paying attention to a bunch of geese rather than us. Made him get up and chase them all away, as they flew in the air we made him follow them for several hundred feet to make sure they wouldn't come back! I was dying of laughter on the inside. Droncz87
TAPS....
At boot, it was taps out and one of the RDC's show up and was doing a walk through. it was just before lights out. He was going through the head and then a loud scream "Oh-my-gawd, get your penis out of your hand and out of my site, why the hell is your penis staring at me, recruit?"
'Taps' didn't happen as scheduled and I still talk to this guy X years later... also my bunkmate lmao. DarkJester89
Military Bearing....
I can pass along a classic Boot Camp story. I was in the Navy, and in the Navy, your final inspection as a Division is before the Division Officer. Which is usually some Junior Officer puke that got assigned that job, but we didn't know any better. Anyway, before the inspection one of our RDC's, that's what we called the "DI" in the Nav, found a locker out of sorts and decided to beat us in our dress blues.
That was not fun, let me tell you. Wool uniforms, if we lost our cover we got beat more, it was bad. Anyway, the DO rolls in for inspection, walks up to the first dude in formation, and he pukes. HOWEVER, this guy was a genius, he puked down the T-Shirt in his dress blues, saving the DO from getting puked on and US from getting beat even more.
The Division Officer was so impressed at this dudes "Military Bearing" that he called the inspection right then and there. 5.0 Sailors all around. We still got beat that night. But that guy was a hero. tasimm
Flying Crackers....
We weren't allowed to talk during chow at the galley. You had to point at what you wanted another recruit to pass, and they had to silently pass it. One recruit wanted a napkin and pointed. The other recruit asked "this?"
The CCs (Coast Guard DS) immediately came over, circling him like sharks, screaming at him. They made him put like 10 saltines in his mouth and chew until his mouth was full, then ask the first recruit if he wanted a napkin again. He barely could get it out, spitting pieces of cracker everywhere.
Then they screamed at the first recruit to answer him, but we were all silently cracking up. Sounded like this: "Phew phwant a nupkeen?" (Pieces of saltines flying out) ANSWER HIM!!!! (Cracking up, almost crying) "No...thank you."
It was the best. TBLCoastie
HOWL!!!
An RDC in another division asked a guy if he shaved that morning and the guy claimed he had. The RDC said "recruit you are either a werewolf or you are lying, so which is it?" The guy responded "I must be a werewolf, petty officer!" dnpinthepp
The Angry Water....
Not me but I had a great Team SGT who had a floater (wonky eye) that he was blind in from an injury in Iraq. So one eye was dead on and worked fine but he had this one Uncle Rukus eye that just did its own thing. He was a very physically imposing man with that classic Drill SGT bass filled voice and his crazy eye just added to it and he knew it. He told a story about his time as a Drill SGT when two privates had sat down on Firewatch and were kinda just being real lackadaisical about their duties when he found them.
So he starts just giving them the business classic Full Metal Jacket style, and finally he just ending his rant right before he's about to smoke them for who knows how long when one of the offending Privates just says "Drill SGT are you yelling at us or the Water Fountain?" It stopped him dead in his rage and he just walked away mid knife hand. TheRadBomber
Beat It! Just Beat It!
In navy Bootcamp they call forced PT "beatings." Everyone knows what a beating is. Navy doesn't have drill instructors they call them RDCs (Recruit division commanders). One day standing in ranks the RDC is going around asking random trivia questions about a test we had to take to make sure we had been studying. He gets to a guy who was eccentric, to say the least. This is about a month and a half into Bootcamp. RDC asks the question guys gets it wrong so RDC yells "No wrong, BEAT YOURSELF!" Literally everyone knew this meant start doing pushups so the expectation is he will start doing pushups as the RDC moves to the next guy to ask a question. I was standing across from the guy and he had a confused look on his face. He looked at his own hand for 5 seconds then hauled off and slapped himself in the face.
It made a loud crack sound he got himself good. I cracked and chuckled trying to keep composure at attention. The RDC looked to me then realized why I laughed had to do with the slapping sound. He turned back to self slapping guy and asked him if he slapped himself. Guy says "you told me to beat myself." Queue the entire barracks cracking up. It was a single moment during Bootcamp where the curtain was raised and a moment of unadulterated levity came over everyone. The RDC couldn't stop laughing so the tough guy a**hole persona melted away for a good 60 seconds until he regained composure and made us all do pushups. The pushups were an easy price to pay for that moment. Pencilowner
Johnson Who?
We had two 5'1" stocky blond guys named Johnson in our company one cycle. different platoons, no relation at all but they looked really similar, one day during grass week a couple J Hats made them face each other and go back and forth screaming "You're not johnson, I'm johnson!" "No! F**k you, you're not johnson I'm johnson!" You have absolutely no clue how hard it was to not break into a million pieces after about 5 minutes of that. lovable_oaf
Baby Save up all your tears....
I work at basic training ranges and we had a drill SGT yell at his solider while they were getting ready to go down a buddy live fire exercise. The solider froze and started crying. This 18 y/o kid was just in tears for getting yelled at. The DS yelled at him some more and he finally gave up cause this kid wouldn't stop crying. So he made him scoop tears off his face and put them in his pockets till he filled his pockets up with tears. He did this for like an hour. It was hilarious. racorr92
Polite Conversation....
GiphyNot a DI but I enjoyed watching this happen. On hikes my DI's loved having conversations using the recruits as messengers. The DI at the end of the formation would send a recruit to the front to give the DI up there a message and back. They would either have stupid conversations or talk trash using the recruit. riceindabowl
No matter how long ago we saw it, there are some scenes or images from movies that still send shivers down our spine or keep us awake at night to this very day.
Pennywise appearing in the sewer in It, Janet Leigh surprised in the shower in Psycho, Freddy Kreuger's tongue popping out of the telephone in A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Of course, some of the scariest, most disturbing, or most emotionally traumatizing scenes from films might have been featured in films outside of the horror genre.
Even more shockingly, some of these films were primarily marketed towards children!
Redditor alina_love was curious to hear which non-horror films the Reddit community saw as children still send shivers down their spines today, leading them to ask:
"What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?"
It Was Tim Burton, After All...
"'Pee Wee's big adventure'."
"Large Marge scared the crap out of little me."
"I was even scared of the fortune teller."- BlueStarrSilver·
With A Title Like "Temple Of Doom"...
"'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'."
"The scene where the guy gets his heart ripped out traumatized me for years."- Pbhf
That Funeral Scene Though...
"'My Girl'."
"Fear of death, fear of losing a friend, fear of bees, fear of puberty."- heidismiles
macaulay culkin kiss GIFGiphyJurassic Park's Got Nothing On This...
"'The Land Before Time'."
"Watching Little Foot’s mother die was awful."- HourglassSass
He'll Always Regret Not Bringing Her To The Museum...
"'Bridge to Terabithia'."- jumpstart-the-end
"Everything goes so well and it falls apart SO FAST and your left absolutely traumatized."- VortexDestroyer99
The Reason People Hold On To Their Appliances For As Long As They Do...
"The Brave Little Toaster'."- Catgurl
"The junkyard scene alone was responsible for so many nightmares."- ManChildMusician
brave little toaster animation GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyAnd Let's Not Forget The Coachman's Smile...
"Disney’s version of 'Pinocchio'."
"The scene where kids are turned into donkeys and kept on the island and then resold was f*cking weird."
"You felt bad for that bully kid after he looked sad and nobody understood what he said because he was a donkey."- earnestlikehemingway
Few Things More Sad And Scary Than Deforestation
"'Ferngully: The Last Rainforest'."
"That evil tree scared me so bad."- slutsdotnet
Anything But "Truly Scrumptious"...
"The 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' Childcatcher guy!"
"I'm still scared of him!"- Jet_Maypen
child GIFGiphyOffing Children One By One...In A Children's Movie!
"'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' boat scene."
"Honorable mention of claustrophobia when Augustus gets stuck in the chocolate tube."
"UGH!"- looseseal-bluth
At Least We Know He Had A "Sole"...
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."
"That poor shoe….."- dalalice5555
At Least The Song Is Catchy...
"Neverending Story."
"Not even Artax, which was awful, but the Rockbiter and his good strong hands."- marxychick1
Neverending Story 80S GIFGiphyDorothy Gettying Electro Shock Therapy Says it All...
"Return to Oz."- Jeff_Steelflexx
"Horrifying! What about the animated wig heads?"- weensfordayz
The Reigning King Of Childhood Trauma
"Old Yeller."- IceTech59
"I remember watching this on TV during, I think, Wonderful World of Disney (Sunday nights were Disney night on TV)."
"Cried and cried and cried."
"I've never been able to watch it again and I've never shown it to my kids!"- crowwitch
Not All Friendships Are Tenable... A Terrifying Thought
"'The Fox and the Hound'."
"Still makes me incredibly sad, lol."- mental_reincarnation
best friends friendship GIFGiphySometimes, writers and filmmakers simply overestimate what might go over a child's head.
Or, for that matter, they might underestimate their emotional capacity.
Regardless, ask any of Fairuza Balk's fans which is scarier, Return to Oz or The Craft, and their answer will be immediate...
(... and it won't be The Craft...)
Sometimes it's fun to toy with someone.
Especially if it's an enemy or a loved one who simply deserves a good ribbing.
Some cryptic sentences can send anyone into a tailspin.
And oh the fun that can be had.
You have to be as vague as possible and as sincere.
You have to sell the sincerity. That's vital!
And then just watch them implode.
Redditor theary18 wanted to hear about the most creative ways to throw somebody off their game, so they asked:
"What is the best thing to say to someone to subtly f**k with their head?"
I love to come up behind someone and say "I can't believe they would treat you this way. I got you girl!"
Then I scurry away.
Tee-hee...
It's YOU!
For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy"Just tack on the phrase 'given your history' to any question you ask someone."
"Are you sure you want another drink? Given your history?"
"Do you mind driving? Given your history?"
hamletreset
Mean Kids...
"I moved to my elementary school in the 5th grade. Mid-year, a boy came up to me and said, 'I really thought you were gonna be somebody.' I'm now 45 and I'm still like, what the f**k was he talking about?"
NicklePlatedSkull
"Likely something they heard a parent say to someone. Kids love to repeat the dumb stuff you say the next day at school."
itsallgoodman2002
"All jokes aside he probably thought you were someone else. I've done the same things countless times and it's happened to me a few."
Download_more_ramram
"I would interpret this as this kid hearing there's gonna be a 'new kid' and then their imagination ran wild as to who this new star is going to be, that it will be like in some kid movie or something, but you turned out to be just another kid student."
i_was_planned
I Like You
"I don't get why other people don't like you."
Dependent_Main2643
"Another variant is..."
"I don’t care what everyone else is saying. I think you’re great!"
"They’ll take it as a compliment at first but then they’ll think about it and it’ll eat away at them."
Oh-Cool-Story-Bro
"A guy I work with says this time to me every time I help him 'I don’t care what everyone else says about you you’re alright. Literally everyone else. We did a poll.' XD guy says some crazy s**t. When he started he tried to convince us he was a flat earther. He just likes fucking with people."
ThreeBeatles
Rumors
“'I heard about you.'"
ignorantpigeon
"Whenever I hear this I always respond with 'if it’s all good, it’s all lies.' Usually shows my sense of humor and if it is bad things they heard it usually lightens the mood."
ElApolloLoco
"Years ago I worked at a cafe and function venue which was sold after a few years to a new catering company. The first time I met the new restaurant manager I introduced myself and she exclaimed 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' and I was a bit weirded out. Then not long later I met the new owner and she also said 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' I still wonder twenty years later what they’d both heard about me."
winoforever_slurp_
Problems
Drunk Party Girl GIFGiphy"Go up to someone at a party and say: 'I just want you to know that personally, I have no problem with you being here.'"
LuketheMook
"I once got drunk and effectively said that to a girl at a wedding. 'I don't care what everyone else thinks, I always liked you' or something like that."
Supersnazz
Parties are the perfect setting for these shenanigans.
Especially with the drinkers.
But get them at least semi-sober.
I got You
Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"If you are chatting with someone and another person walks up look at them and say 'I just want you to know that I was defending you' then turn and walk off. It's a good 2fer."
could_use_a_snack
Hush
"'We know, but don't worry, we'll keep it a secret.'"
ch3rrycsmos_
"A friend in high school (actually still a current friend) said something similar to me and it definitely f**ked with my head. 'You know you're not fooling anyone, right?' He wouldn't elaborate and it took me the rest of the day to figure out he was f**king with me. As a guy with imposter syndrome, especially as a teen, that had me turned for a bit."
ablackcloudupahead
You Again
"If it’s someone you interact with repeatedly, always introduce yourself as if you’ve never met before."
Stillwater215
"I keep doing this to a guy I see very occasionally. He's a friend of my sister-in-law, but I've introduced myself to him at least four times. Right now, I'm trying to picture his face and I totally can't, so if I see him again, I'll introduce myself again. He remembers me though. And I don't have this issue with anyone else, I just can't remember this guy's face for some reason."
KrtekJim
Big Mouth
"You really need to brush your teeth."
setthepinnacle
"Somebody jokingly left a message on the 'tip' line that said 'Take a breath mint.'"
"I'm like 90% sure it was just the first thing that came to his head but it f**ked with me for weeks. I was self-conscious when talking to people, being close to them with my mouth open, and I'd constantly be brushing longer/harder taking mouthwash a couple extra times a day, and using mints."
ToFaceA_god
Head Issues
Think About It GIF by IdentityGiphy"Give all your friends a few dollars to compliment their hat if they’re not wearing one. When 50 people insist you’re wearing a hat, you start to think you’re wearing a hat. It will drive them insane."
Stillwater215
Hats off for that last one. That's harmless but devious.
Do you have any tips to add? Let us know in the comments below.
