Restaurant Patrons Demand "Sit Me With Your Hottest White Server"—And The Bar Drags Them
Reddit user mattdacoolcat shared an unfortunately all too familiar story of discrimination from their days as a restaurant host:
It was a group of middle aged guys. They're regulars, but they're annoying as hell, and they always ask for the hottest server. As a host, I usually just sit them with whoever. The last time they came in, I sat them with D, a really sweet black girl who's one of our best servers. They were FURIOUS. They never said anything to me or a manager, but they claimed everything was wrong. The food was too cold. The drinks were flat. She was way too slow. She was rude. They left a 25¢ tip and left not long after.
This time, they specified they wanted a hot WHITE server. I said "okay!" and with a smile, I walked them over to their table. I specifically sat them with the only male server, a tall, black, bodybuilder who towered over all of them. He's a really cool guy, but he can be slightly intimidating to people that don't know him just due to his stature.
They never said a word.
Tl;dr: Buncha pervs asked for a hot white girl, got a big black guy.
Users were understandably upset by the actions of these men, and shared their ire in the comments.
Some responses have been edited for content/clarity.
Forced interaction
Imagine being so inept at talking to women that hitting on your waitress, someone who is forced to interact with/be nice to you, is the best shot you have at meeting someone.
-Xsy
Right of Refusal
You’ve got the right to kick people out for announcing their intention to sexually harass your coworkers btw. I’d suggest using that power.
Sex Appeal
Why do so many guys just feel entitled to have sex appeal added to their every experience? Next time I go to church I’m requesting only the hot preacher in the slutty priest outfit so I can really enjoy my religious experience. And I’ll slap every male butt I see on the way out. (Side note...why are slutty nun outfits a thing??)
GiphyOthers disagreed with their methods.
100% would kick people out for this. These people are here to harass someone who is trying to do their job. They should be there to get food, not flirt with people who are being paid to get you food or drinks.
I would've asked “Why does she have to be white?" and watch them lose their tounge.
When they finally come up with a diet racist response I would've told them to accept whatever seating I provide or kindly leave.
I know you said it ended up making them silent but I think this is kind of a f**ked up thing to do to your black co worker.
Lol making him serve a group of potential racist dudes. Real nice man.
Yeah, I wouldn't subject a POC to them. This might be funny to you, but they will treat the server badly and not tip.
And still others shared similar experiences, and how they handled them.
Am a nurse. In school rotations this guy demanded my peer to only let the cutest nurse do his Foley cath. She tells me, a fat 32 year old hairy guy, and I walked in.
"who the hell are you?"
"I'm the cute one."
I work the bar in a family restaurant. Had a couple guys sit at a table in the bar section while I was bartending. I let them know I’d go grab them a server, like I do to every table.
“Get us the one with the biggest tits hahaha”
I gave them the ‘disappointed parent’ look and told them “I’ll see what I can do” and went and found the only male server, who unfortunately was working on the opposite end of the restaurant. I told him he had a request in the bar, a couple guys looking for a waitress with big boobs if he wanted it. The two guys gave me the meanest look when he came out.
Apparently they just walked out when I was in BoH and the waiter was getting their drink order. Good riddance.
One time at my restaurant we had three guys come in and sit outside in our smoking patio. The only server outside was a dude who was cool as hell. After he took their order for me they went back to the host stand and asked for a female server. The host told the manager and he told them if they were going to behave like that then he didn't feel comfortable assigning them a female server, and said if it mattered that much they could go to Twin Peaks or Hooters. And they did. Loved that KM. He gave no f**ks and always stuck by us. His philosophy was that if we were sweating, then he was. He would back us no questions asked in front of customers. Great dude. Got screwed by the company but is happily with someone else now.
Alternative Solutions
I'm surprised that no one has mentioned this yet. Why not give patrons like this one of those silly queue pucks and just have them wait without actually assigning the puck to the queue? Or, if you have to assign them to the queue make sure you note that they are looking for a server that can tolerate racist, sexist pigs.
Pigs
Was a seating hostess. Once I got this elderly couple who came in, and the man commented that he wanted a "pretty, young female" server. He had been joking with me earlier, so I thought he was just joking about that as well. We were on a 30-minute waiting list, so customers generally were sat at whatever table was open next. Just so happened that "Alan's" section was open next. I sat them, let them know Alan would be over shortly, and the guy BLEW UP. I found them a new seat as soon as one became available, but the f**king chauvinistic pig kept threatening to report me to corporate for, ya know, not having a pretty woman available to serve him and his WIFE. F**k that guy. And f**k my manager for telling me that *I* was in the wrong.
Black People Can Make Tacos Too
So I work at a Tex-Mex (Americanized Mexican) restaurant, and was the first person on the row of people to put food together for customers. We weren't that busy, so me and the other workers were in the back chatting. As customers came in, I went to put on my gloves so I could make food without germs on everything. While I was doing that, I asked my coworker, who happened to be black, to go ahead and get the customers started, as he had his gloves on already. He got into position, and said as politely as possible, "Hi, what can I get for you today?" To which she responded "I want him to make it" and pointed at me. Now, at this point I had my gloves on, so I stepped up and started getting her food, but me and my coworker shared a glance like "is this b*tch for real?" As she got to the next section, where the same black coworker was, she told him "I told you already I want him to make it." When I told her that that wasn't how the ordering process worked, she demanded to speak to a manager. I went back to the next customers while my coworker got my manager. This woman started YELLING at my manager about how "black people don't understand Mexican food" and how "it's a disgrace to let them work here" and all that fun stuff. When my manager asked her what my coworker had done, she told him, and I quote "n*****s can't make a proper taco". When my manager asked her to leave, she screamed and raised a middle finger to us and stormed out. Sometimes I just don't know why people think they get to just sh*t on people.
Why Serve Them?
Serious question, why aren't you guys refusing service to people like this?
They probably aren't allowed to. Like only the manager/area manager/head office is allowed to ban people, maybe. Happens with some companies.
Seriously. As a manager, if I was told that this was going on, especially from repeat offenders, I would tell them we aren't serving them. Objectifying my staff and being blatantly racist has no place in a business I work at.
Don't Be This Guy
I work as a server and host at chain family restaurant.
So, last night, I'm hosting. It's slow so I'm hanging out in the back. I'm standing in front of the window traying up some food. A new server (She used to be a cook for us) comes up to me.
"Hey, I got this guy at 41... I gave him one shot and he's acting super drunk already. I think he was drinking before I got here. I think I need to cut him off, what do I say?"
I give her the run down, I tell her to be firm but polite. Server says she's scared, that he's been aggressive anyways. I grab our manager and we explain the situation, says she'll handle it.
Well. Not two seconds after my first manger cuts him off, he flags down ANOTHER manager. Just asks for another shot. This manager, not knowing what was happening, gladly says he'll get it going for them. Luckily, we were able to stop him before he brought another drink.
10 minutes go by, and the drunk guy stops one of the hosts, and talks to her for a long time. I'm watching from the kitchen. After she walks away she comes over the headset.
"Hey, elea_no, they guy at 41 is asking for you. He says he ordered a drink and hasn't gotten it. He just keeps asking for you."
So I am confused as hell and I tell the host that I'm not going over there. And that she and nobody else is to serve him. It's not my job to serve him and I have no idea why he's asking for me. At this point I haven't even stopped by the table.
My manager goes by the table again to tell him to quit harassing the staff, we're not going to serve him anymore. He begins yelling "I want elea_no! I want elea_no!" And my manager is telling him no, she's not going to get me. So at this point they ask for the check and get ready to leave.
As he's leaving out the door, he calls my name. I look up, and recognize this kid as someone i went to high school with. We always had classes together. He had always had a huge crush on me. I served him the last time he came in.
"Hey, elea_no, 'mere" we talk in the foyer between the two sets of doors. He says to me "The service f**king sucks here. That dumb blonde manager was a c*nt"
I am so taken aback I literally don't know what to say, so I unfortunately just let him continue. "and, I'm sorry, there's not better way to say this, but that other dumb n****r manager of yours unbelievable. And that Sp*c server is the worst of all, f**king cut me off like that. I only had one shot. F**king bullsh*t."
I'm standing there mouth open. I'm trying to find the right words. He ends his rant with, "But it's not a race thing, it's not. I know I'm wearing a confederate flag hat and sh*t, but it's not a race thing, it's just what they are."
I reply "Well, it's at the servers discretion, if she doesn't feel comfortable, then she has every right to refuse service. She's new and just being careful."
To wrap the mess in a little bow, his departing line is: "Alright whatever it's still bullsh*t, I'm never coming back unless you serve me. I'll see you later. Hit me up on Facebook when you turn 21! We could meet up for drinks!"
Yup. I'd love to meet up with a sh*tty, racist ass for some drinks. Thanks!
He walked out on his check.
I had a table who made some insanely rude remarks. 1. That they were glad they got a female server this time women should be serving and men should be cooking or managing. 2. Asks how many mexicans work in the kitchen. Answer 0. 3. Makes remark that the dishwasher must be mexican or native american. Answer nope college age white girl trying to pay her bills. They got the same no smile response for everyone of these remarks. First of all, cooking, dishwashing, and serving are not degrading jobs. Next assuming that all of these must be held by minorities is just straight up racist.
Ugh
I was standing up at the Host Stand watching the door while the host was in the bathroom when I was approached by a 70 something older white Man with a bag stacked with to go boxes.
Me= M OWM= Old White Man
OWM: I need to speak with your manager.
M: Is there something I can help you with?
OWM: I just wanted to let you know that the food tonight was absolutely the worst meal I have ever had in my life.
Looks at to go bag filled with 3 large boxes of food, confusion washes over my face. M: I'm so sorry sir what seemed to be the problem with your meal?
OWM: Everything. I ordered the ribs and they were absolutely disgusting. I come here all the time and the food has always been mediocre but this time it was inedible.
M: Did you tell your server about the food quality? She would have replaced the slab for you. It only takes a few minutes to put the sauce on but the meat is already cooked.
OWM: I couldn't tell her.
M: You couldn't tell her? Like, she never checked on you?
OWM: No. I couldn't tell her because she isn't American. She wouldn't understand.
It clicked to me. He was seated in one of the other server's section who is Asian American. Her parents are Vietnamese, but she was born here, has always lived in the US and has never been to Vietnam. Doesn't have an accent, speaks perfect English. Because she's AMERICAN.
OWM: You know my Aunt owned a restaurant, and once she started hiring international people the place just went to shit and it closed within 6 months. You should really think about who you're hiring.
At this point, this dude has just seriously crossed the line. My adrenaline is pumping, and the dude is looking at me like he's waiting for me to agree with him and somehow validate this statement.
M: Sir, are you implying that your server's nationality had something to do with the quality of the food you received tonight?
OWM: Well you cant trust these international people to do the job like real Americans they don't care about good service.
At this point I'm losing my cool.
M: Sir, your server is American. She was born in America, has lived her ENTIRE life in America, and speaks perfect English. I was going to hear your concerns about the food quality, but now you've insulted me and my staff and I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
OWM with astonished look on his face, started yelling: Are you serious? You can't treat me like this! I didn't even do anything!
M: I'm absolutely serious you need to go.
OWM proceeds to walk out of the door yelling to anyone in earshot about how much of a trash dump my restaurant is and how he'll never come back.
That was the first day I ever cried at work in my whole 9 years in the industry. F that dude.
I work at a higher end restaurant/bar (new American fare, expensive whiskey) in a more upper class but super trashy still, neighborhood of my city.
Two men come to the bar and have a seat. They're a tad drunk I'm assuming, and whispering amongst each other and giggling.
I hand them their menus and as I fill their water glasses, they don't even look at the menu and one of them just says "I guess we're having sushi tonight." And the other burst out laughing and then they get up and leave. Laughing the whole way out.
The server at the pass was just standing there slack jawed as she hears it too. My face felt hot and I wanted to cry.
Sometimes people like that actually make me want to leave the service industry forever.
I'm Asian, btw. Hence the sushi joke. Filipino, not Japanese. But I digress.
I work in a Japanese steakhouse as a server and we had a table come in tonight (was ~4 adults and 3 kids) that my coworker ended up taking (she's Vietnamese this matters later). Later on when my coworker asked if they needed anything one of the kids who had to have been around 12 went, "Yeah Ling Ling I need a refill" I heard her say it and didn't even know how to react neither did my coworker, then the adults realized what she said and were laughing after my coworker walked away. Didn't end up saying anything about it but felt it was shitty and I wanted to say something but my coworker told me not to. But just your daily reminder some people just suck.
This took place in a very rich very white small Canadian town. I was working in the dining room of the local casino when an older lady and an older gentleman are sat in my coworker's section. My coworker is named "Michelle" and we'll call the lovely customer "RL".
Michelle is black, originally from the Caribbean, but has lived in Canada since early childhood.
Our kitchen staff is probably about 80% Filippino and Indian people.
Michelle: "Hi, good evening, how are the two of you doing today?"
RL: Long pause in which she stares at Michelle "Fine." The gentleman is silent.
Michelle: "I'm glad to hear it. Can I get the two of you anything to drink to start you off?"
RL: "...No."
Michelle tells me she didn't know how to react to that, so she asked if there was anything else she could get them at the moment, to which RL snarled: "Do you think we're ready to order?? Stupid girl send someone competant over here!"
Michelle, not visibly upset, asked me to take them. This seemed normal to me because she was about to be cut anyway and we frequently did little favours for eachother. She didn't tell me about the earlier interaction until later. I'm white.
I went over and greeted them and they seemed pleasent enough. I got them started with drinks, which they ordered without issue. After giving them some time with the menus I went over to take their orders.
Me: "All ready to order? What can I get for you this evening?"
RL: "Who's in the kitchen?"
Me: thinking she might know someone in BOH because why else would you ask that question? "Oh quite a few people are working tonight, are you thinking of someone in particular? "
RL: "No I mean" she gives me a significant look "who is in the kitchen?"
Me: confused "um... ??? ..." trying to figure out what to say, besides listing off 9 or 10 first names of the BOH staff
RL: "I want to know if there's any" her voice dips low like she's saying a really nasty word "Filippinos in your kitchen."
Me: every alarm going off in my head. Wtf is this I must be misinterpreting her, there's no way she's this blatantly racist
Me: "Well we have a very diverse staff here at (casino), which is something I really love about working here. There are quite a few Filippino people who work in the kitchen."
RL: "That's disgusting!! Touching the food??? I want to see a manager"
At this point I would have kicked her out if I had any kind of agency, but it wasn't that kind of job. I went and got Ravi, my manager. An Indian man with a fairly strong accent.
He approaches the table and asks what's going on.
RL: "You're the manager????"
Ravi: "Yes that's me."
RL threw her hands up in disgust and strode over to the blonde, blue-eyed, 18 year old bartender. By this time most people in the dining room were watching the shit-fit. She demanded that the bartender give her a corporate number. He told her she would need to ask a manager for that. Or she could try the lobby desk. He openly laughed in her face when her eyes bulged with fury. He pointed her towards the lobby desk where three east-asian women were helping customers. RL was literally shaking with rage when she collected her husband and stormed out.
She was a legend at that job, a story we told to newbies. I still can hardly believe anyone is that open about their racism in this day and age.
Sometimes, the not-so-subtle racism is coming from the other side of the table.
That's amazing. Good on you.
We had this really rude, racist server at our restaurant that would always tell the hosts not to seat her with anyone that wasn't white or anyone with kids. One time a host was sick so I picked up for her. I'm usually a server, so I didn't know that the other server expected this kind of filtering from me and sat her with a 4 top with two parents and two toddlers.
She tried to tell me not to seat her with any families or "anyone that speaks Spanish". The family had spoken English to me, but I could see she was just being racist.
I would never want to make anyone uncomfortable by seating them with a racist person, but I also wanted to teach this server a lesson. So I sat her with only people of color and people with children all night. I checked up on all of her tables to make sure they were still getting good service.
She was fuming, but what was she going to say to the manager? That I was following rotation? That she wanted to turn down 75% of our clientele and good money and I wasn't letting her? She quit a few months later and now somehow works for corporate at that restaurant. I have no idea how.
Thankfully, People's Reasons Aren't Always Sinister
Family is in pizza delivery, we had a customer that would always ask for female delivery people. It actually turned out to be completely innocent.
When he asked for a female delivery driver of course we sent out our biggest burliest guy for the first few deliveries because we assumed he was a pervert/creep. Never got to meet the guy. He'd leave a check in an envelope with a decent tip taped on the door and the driver would leave the pizza on a chair on his porch. Still assumed he was a pervert that was gonna snatch the pretty girl we sent out.
One day we showed up when there was a caretaker or family member there. She was a petite woman. She let us know he has MASSIVE agoraphobia and PTSD, and the reason he asks for a female driver is because a big guy coming down his driveway freaks him out way more than a small person (male or female), and women just tend to be smaller (we felt a bit bad about sending our biggest guy each time, but our safety has to be first). Now anyone is allowed to go to his house and people will try to snipe his order because he tips well.
We all have strong opinions about something, but when we think of opinions, we often think of hot button topics like political subjects.
But as it turns out, sometimes we can have just as strong of opinions of our preferred types of pasta.
Redditor PeeB4uGoToBed asked:
"What's the best pasta shape and why?"
The Right Answer
"I prefer my pasta, like my nuggets, to be dinosaur-shaped."
- bearstrugglethunder
"This is my true answer, but if I have to pretend to be an adult, I always say Cavatappi."
- YourGlacier
Radiatori
"Radiatori. Thick and perfect for pasta sauces."
- AuthenticVanillaOwl
"They're so fun. They're my favorite, ahead of rotini. I just like ridges, I guess."
- arcosapphire
Cavatappi
"Cavatappi!!!!"
- floatingvibes
"Best for mac and cheese."
- pacheckyourself
"My first time having cavatappi mac and cheese changed my life."
- Salt_Blackberry_1903
"Cavatappi gang, RISE UP."
- Sharp_Easy
Cavatelli
"I see your cavatappi and raise you cavatelli."
- dumbf**k
"Cavatelli is the bee's knees, man."
- elhooper
Conchiglie
"Conchiglie (shells)."
"The shell shape stores cheese and sauces, so with each bite, you get tons of flavor."
- WingerRules
"Yes! Mac n cheese always tastes amazing with Conchiglie, I don't make the rules."
- Inconvenient-Pebble9
Rigatoni
"Rigatoni. My favorite dish is baked rigatoni with bolognese. I love the texture of the ridges and the larger hollow part scoops up the sauce very well as compared to ziti or penne."
- AllDressedJalapenos
Cascatelli
"Cascatelli. Some crazy f**k got obsessed with answering the OP's question and invented this."
- PhantomMenaceWasOK
Vesuvio
"Cascatelli is great, but his second round of shapes, specifically vesuvio, might be better."
- mriners
"Agreed. Vesuvio is peak."
- jll3523
Quattrotini
"I prefer quattrotini. I find it has better forkability and toothsinkability."
- banjo215
Fusilli
"Fusilli because it's silly."
- HorrorxHeart
Bucatini
"Bucatini is the best of all worlds. You have everything that's great about the long noodles and it's hollow! It absorbs sauce and oil on the inside."
- winterORgethen
"I hate bucatini! You can't suck a protruding part into your mouth because of the hole in the middle. You can't pick it up with a fork, because it's too slippery with sauce."
- CalTechie-55
Penne
"Penne... because the sauce is in AND on it, lol (laughing out loud)."
- secretxamy
Orecchiette
"Orecchiette."
- Realistic_Try_6738
"The pasta that would literally drive me insane if I tried to make it from scratch."
- BullsOnParadeFloats
Farfalle
"Farfalle."
- Preference-Best
"I came to say this. Just something about it. Amazing mouth feel. Great texture. Good with light and heavy, meaty sauces."
- Fracture_98
"This one. There’s something so nostalgic about it for me. And I feel like it does well with most sauces. A very versatile shape for a variety of pasta dishes."
- BlueHeelerChemist
Linguine
"Linguine: the spaghetti that went to private school."
- feeflet
"I am totally on board with linguine. Flat to catch the sauce and thin enough to cook evenly for the perfect consistency! Pairs with many sauces too!"
- Odd_Calligrapher_407
Pappardelle
"Pappardelle."
"Flat pasta is better than round pasta (like spaghetti) for sauces and flavors being absorbed. It's long enough to give the lady and the tramp vibes and not feel like you're a kid eating some superhero shapes out of a bowl like Fusilli and Farfalle can give off."
"It's thicker than tagliatelle to give it enough girth to feel like more of a main event than just being the bed your sauce and toppings sit on."
"Overall, it's just the best all-rounder in my book."
- bawjaws2000
This conversation just goes to show how many pasta options there actually are in the world, some that we may have not even heard of yet, because of them being invented in 2020!
But it also goes to show that we all have our favorites, and we can have very strong opinions about them.
One of life's most unfortunate moments is when we feel our lives are genuinely in danger.
These horrific moments can involve the behavior of people with malicious intentions or just being at the wrong place and time.
Even though many people live to share their harrowing stories, the trauma doesn't necessarily go away completely.
But all anyone who's experienced a terrifying ordeal can do to find peace is to count their blessings and be grateful they are survivors.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the scariest incident happened with you?"
These Redditors experienced heart-stopping false alarms.
Wrong Target
"Half a dozen masked men broke into my bedroom, threatened me and my girlfriend, realised they had the wrong house, apologised and left. Edit - I told the full story here a while back."
– The-Go-Kid
Witness At A Shopping Mall
"Similar thing happened to my Aunt. She witnessed an attack at a shopping centre (on going disagreement between 2 well known families) and was threatened. A few days later one of the older family members approached her in her driveway and apologised profusely for the younger persons behaviour and offered her compensation. She was so scared she just said no thanks and he left."
– pokerdotts
Sometimes, you gotta listen to your gut.
Unplanned Detour
"Wife and I took a dark exit towards out neighborhood. Whole backseat full of bags cause we went shopping at the mall. There’s a red light at the intersection once you get off the exit and we pull up to this tinted oldsmobile. They were in the right lane to go straight or turn right and we were in the left lane to turn left."
"Nobody is around, maybe 10 at night. I turn left and look in my rear view and it’s the car that was next to us a bit back. I pull in my driveway and just had a really weird feeling, so I told my wife I’m gonna reverse and drive around the block. She thinks it’s weird as hell, but as we are reversing, this dude is walking towards us from that Oldsmobile parked around the corner. I dip the f**k out and make it look like I was just turning around and drove like a mile away before heading back."
"Just had this gut feeling, man. Who knows what would have happened? But it was scary as f'k, nonetheless."
– One_pop_each
A Tragic Stop
"Friend borrowed dad’s Benz to take wife on anniversary date. He stopped for flowers and was followed home by someone thinking he was wealthy. He was shot dead in his driveway in what turned out to be a gang initiation; you did the right thing."
– busjockey
These Redditors looked down the barrel of a gun...and lived to tell their story.
Fearless
"Was at a train station that was empty and I was sitting down waiting for a train and a man walks over with a bag, opens it and takes out a shotgun and points it at me and I just stare at him, he then says 'you're not scared are you' then puts the shotgun back in the bag then walks out of the train station."
"Actually not sure if that was the scariest or weirdest or if I was even scared."
– XenomorphXx121
The Right Answer
"Reminds me of the time a guy put a gun to my neck and said, 'What would you do if I pull the trigger right now.'"
"I was in a completely apathetic state of mind at that time anyway and said, 'Not much I can do, but I'll haunt you.'"
– lazerchin
These Redditors experienced medical emergencies.
Lucky Patient
"Last week had a heart attack after almost recovering from chemotherapy."
"I asked the nurse if I was going to die and she said I’m in the right place and they will look after me. Then I got more scared then I ever have before"
"I should not have survived but I did."
– Fistandantalus
Urgent Appointment
"The scan came back and we found a mass. We'd like you to come in to talk to the doctor today or tomorrow. You should see if someone can drive for you as you may be upset afterwards"
"Can I come in next week, I have a trip planned?"
"The doctor says you should come in today anytime and we will clear an appointment for you."
"Luckily that doctor kicked a**. 3 years post-surgery. Scans are clean in August and I move into the "only 10% chance of reoccurrence" bracket."
– Meet_the_Meat
Mysterious Illness
"Felt sick, kind of like the flu. Felt completely fine in the morning, but got worse as the day went on. It was the middle of the night and I was up with my husband and our new 6 week old baby. I was pumping breastmilk."
"Next thing I know, I’m waking up to EMTs surrounding me on my bed telling me not to move or sit up. My heart rate was incredibly high and blood pressure incredibly low. They took me to the hospital and no one knew what was wrong with me for a while. They kept asking me what drugs I took. I kept telling them nothing (which is true). I just had a baby, the biggest 'drug' I was taking was Tylenol. They didn’t believe me for a while."
"I couldn’t remember a lot of things at this point. I could barely even remember my own kid’s name. I couldn’t tell them who the president was or what year it was when they asked. It was a weird feeling to have memory missing. Kind of like having lost some puzzle pieces. Talking was also kind of difficult."
"After a BUNCH of tests, turns out I had a UTI so bad that I went into septic shock and my kidneys were shutting down. Didn’t know I had a UTI because I was still healing from childbirth and I am pretty asymptomatic when it comes to UTIs. I don’t feel pain when I get them. Spent a few days in the ICCU. Was extra scary considering my brand new baby was at home and I wasn’t and there was a chance I wouldn’t make it home at all."
"In the end, I thankfully made a full recovery."
"Not as intense as some of these other stories, but please don’t sleep on a UTI guys. Sepsis is no joke."
– mxbear
The last time I truly feared for my life was when I was at a party and a fight between two drunk partygoers turned into a Swiss army knife fight.
I'm not kidding.
A couple of my friends and I jumped off the second floor balcony and got chased in the parking lot.
After some fumbling with the car keys, my buddy managed to get five of us crammed into his car and the perpetrator started pounding on the rear window with his fists and bloodying it up from smashing his knuckles onto the glass.
The police came just in time. Thank you annoyed neighbor who called the cops on us for our blood-curdling screams disturbing the peace.
Perhaps the best thing about our friends is that we can always rely on them.
To help us out, to give us words of comfort and wisdom when we need them, or to just be a willing pair of ears.
Even so, our friends still have a way of surprising us, as well as disappointing us from time to time.
Sometimes they'll do things that just make us groan and roll our eyes but are easily forgiven over time.
Other times, however, they might do or say something which can only be described as "f*cked up."
Potentially putting an effective end to your friendship.
"What is the most f**ked up thing you've seen a friend do?"
Those Poor Cats...
"A guy I worked with was about to take his wife on a trip back to their mutual hometown in another state."
"They had a pair of delightful kittens and they asked me if I would watch them while they were gone."
"I had little experience with cats but these 2 were just wonderfully playful."
"I gave him a call when he got back to arrange returning the kittens but he said they had picked up a non-cat friendly dog on the journey and he would just drop off the kittens in the woods."
"Needless to say, I kept them and they were wonderful furry friends for me and eventually to my wife and kids."
"I still think what would have happened to them if I had not been in the right place at the right time."- PoloGrounder
"I went on holiday for a week and asked my 'best friend' to pop in and feed my cat (he lived a few doors away)."
"When I got back, my cat was laying by the back door of my house, went inside and his bowl was empty, I called him and asked when the last time he fed him, he said 'oh yeah, I forgot'."
"My cat had been outside for a week with no food or water. "
"I haven't spoken to him in 12 years."- Reddit
Always Listen To Your Doctor
"Convinced his girlfriend she was suffering from gluten intolerance instead of schizophrenia, and got her to stop taking medication."- lightningandmadness
But Was It A Point Worth Proving?
"Deliberately get knocked down by a car, in order to prove that when drunk (and we were very drunk), his bones were flexible."
"Fortunately, the car had been slowing to turn."
"There followed a couple of minutes trying to reassure the driver he was ok, whilst calling him an idiot."
"Meanwhile, he was laying flat on his back, maintaining he'd proved his point."- anothercynicaloldgit
It Is Never Attractive To Gloat
"Best friend was excited for me to meet his new gf."
"The whole evening he bragged about how she was still married and he was going to be the reason she got divorced."
"Haven't spoken to him since."
"Did hear she broke up with him and sorted out the issues with her husband."- hmfiddlesworth
Karma Is Pretty Unforgiving...
"Brought my friend to watch my boyfriend practice his drumming."
"She kept spreading her legs wide wearing a skirt with no underwear."
"She slept with him and he left me thinking he would be with her."
"Needless to say she didn’t date him because she already had a boyfriend."- Final_Objective_6204Kar
Shameless
"We were working in an old lady's attic and he kicked the sh*t out of a pipe on purpose then went and told her it needed to be replaced."
"I never worked with him again after that."- FriendlyDifference72
Oh, Honey...
"Brag about a then—boyfriend not leaving her despite constant cheating."
"Then cry when he left her."
"I don’t know either."- Snapesnape716
In With The Wrong Crowd
"They were arguing and he made fun of the friend for being an orphan."
"Tried to stab the other friend cuz his ex was crushing on him."- we_are_ghetto
Not Worth A Second Thought
"Throw McDonald’s fries and burger as hard as he could at a homeless lady asking for food."
"I called him a piece of sh*t and never spoke to him again."- Mundane_Tour_3215
You Don't Mess With Family...
"My best friend had just broken up with my brother—who had moved over a thousand miles and changed jobs to be with her—citing personal differences."
"My brother was devastated, but I tried to respect her decision and be a source of support for both of them, especially because they truly weren’t the best fit."
"But then she shared with me, because she knew that I loved her and would be happy for her so long as she was happy, that she’d been cheating on my brother for the past month and had found her soulmate."
"The depth of my brother’s heartbreak, already immense, was further compounded by the infidelity."
"To my bewilderment, she truly couldn’t understand why I was ending the friendship, seemed so distraught that I would end a years long relationship over something so 'small'."
"And I still can’t comprehend why she thought telling me would result in anything other than a complete door slam."
"Hannah, you still suck."
"And I’m still angry."
"I had also asked her to be the maid of 'honor' in my upcoming wedding."
"Ironic."- bitetime
Some friendships can withstand fundamental differences of opinion.
But no friendship is worth hanging onto when people (and kittens) are physically or emotionally harmed.
When you gotta go, you go.
That should be a mantra for getting rid of the toxic people in our lives.
Not every relationship is meant to last forever.
Some people don't know how to be friends.
They are awfully good at pretending though.
Be vigilant of the signs and red flags.
Toxic people are crafty.
And once you're free, never look back.
Redditor _ReDd1T_UsEr wanted to discuss the reasons why many of us decided to cut some people out of our lives, so they asked:
"What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?"
Sometimes a person just has to go.
Planning Stages
Weekend Sunday GIF by DisneyGiphy"I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that."
Witty-Surround-6541
"I once asked a friend to plan our next breakfast + walk outing, since I always did that. He wrote me a letter ending the friendship. Stunning!"
fermat9996
Pants on Fire
"Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate."
Hosscatticus_Dad523
"When you constantly are thinking... this math ain't matching lol. People that lie all the time make me sick. I've told multiple friends that you don't have to lie to me."
"I feel so much better when someone can trust me and feel comfortable telling me a hard truth than an easy lie."
"Even if the truth made me feel some type of way, I'm still glad it was honest. I've even said thank you to people in the past that have been honest with me, good or bad! Some people just can not help lying about things. I wouldn't be able to ever keep a story straight if I did that."
__eden_
Bad Behavior
"He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a 'went out for a pack of smokes' Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now."
KingGuy420
"Reminds me of one of my ex-friends. She kept having kids with MULTIPLE guys (all of them were one-night stands), I don't think she even knows who the baby daddies are."
"She also kept begging me and people for money for pot, and she also bragged about having OnlyFans. She'd also make up stories about being in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend (she'd also cheat on him/tell people her and him they broke up, which they weren't)."
wisconsinking
Reasons
"I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same. I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact."
tabletopsidekick
"I’ve been there. I was a bad person and lost friendships and family relationships. I tried to apologize to everyone I hurt."
PDXGalMeow
"I also accepted that they don’t want me in their lives anymore. I learned that I made my mistakes, I learned from them, and I accept their choices. I don’t self-hate anymore and I try to be a better person in general. I hope you are doing well and practicing self-love and forgiveness."
PDXGalMeow
Money Issues
Donald Duck Money GIFGiphy"I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the $20."
BuickAssault
"I don't ever expect prompt returns of small amounts of money between my friends... we all buy each other rounds or buy the food for the BBQ or whatever. It ends up evening out over time I think we'd notice though if someone was always taking and never giving and then they'd probably get cut off too."
Badloss
In the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper... "Money Changes Everything."
Lack of Support
Happy Planning GIFGiphy"She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her 'business.'"
LeftandLeaving9006
Oh Driver
"I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all."
Bullfrog_Little
"This one I can understand but depends on the situation. Not all of my friends had cars in high school, so our group needed to have me and my sh*tty '94 Plymouth Sundance come, or they couldn't do anything. I didn't mind at all then, but I definitely would these days."
Hoopajoops
"I remember I used to drive around with my buddies all the time before they had licenses. When one of my friends got his and a car I said sweet now you can drive me around for a bit, he replied that he wasn't gonna waste his money on gas like that. See ya, haven't really spoken to him since."
DontcallmeShirley_82
2063
"How's this for oddly specific: Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years."
"Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket."
"Maybe he'll call me in 2063."
The68Guns
Exhausting
"She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around."
LordyIHopeThereIsPie
"I'm going through this right now. Can't tell you how many texts I have from her in the past few days telling me that I need to get over myself, need to stop making myself the victim, have been a terrible friend, have never been there for her."
"She's the most narcissistic person I know and everyone does everything for her. She has one of the easiest lives ever and anytime anything bad happens to her she believes that everyone is against her and she's the victim here. It's pure insanity. There is no talking sense to people like this."
cheeseburgerwaffles
Life Changes
point pointing GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy"I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs."
ConcertTerrible8877
"Same here dude. My circle is small but hey at least it's a circle I know I can go to."
Miss_mayonnaise
Oh, how things change when the booze dries up.
How much fun were you really having?
Do you have any stories about cutting off a friend? Let us know in the comments below.