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People Explain Which Double Standards Need To End Immediately

People Explain Which Double Standards Need To End Immediately
RobinHiggins/Pixabay

Double standards are something we all live with and, quite likely, find extremely annoying. Things like men being expected to hide their emotions—or not have them at all—or women being expected to stay home and support a couple's children, everyone is generally harmed by double standards.

This is especially true when the double standard isn't clear until someone violates it and then has to deal with anger, ridicule, or sometimes even violence as a result.

Content Note: this article mentions suicide and sexual assault, reader discretion advised.


Reddit user RichPesaventoum asked folks on AskReddit:

"What double standard needs to end NOW?"


Politicians aren't perfect, even the ones you like.

"Ignoring character flaws in politicians you support while demonizing ones you disagree with over the same thing and similar flaws."

-time_wasting_student

"I hate when people assume that because you are in support of a certain party that you blindly agree with every policy, every speech, everything they do. It shouldn't be that way. We're allowed to be displeased or hate things and yet still support the majority of what they do, or at least see them as the better candidate."

-PumkinPieIsGreat

It's normal for guys to like kids too.

"That guys that like kids are pervs but women can love kids. I am a dad to a 3 year old girl and think kids are a ton of fun, but society thinks if I like kids I am a perv or something."

-LucyLaurena

"I had trouble with this when mine were young. Some parents would totally trust me with their kids for a play date when my wife was somewhere, so I assumed other parents would too and got answered with awkward silence."

"Kind of nice to have high schoolers now instead."

-RealisticDelusions77

So should I care, or...?

"Parents: You need to stop what caring what other people think about you!"

"Parents: Look at you! Imagine what other people must think about you!"

-1Shadowspark1

"'why don't you come out of your room and talk to people?'"

"'Look who finally decided to show up!' Tells another embarrassing and degrading story about you"

-samuraishogun1

Everyone deserves rest.

"That poor people are basically not allowed leisure. The scion of some billionaire industrialist can lounge around all day, throw parties and wreck fancy cars and everyone is just sort of okay with that. A poor person wants to sit down for a second, and out everyone comes, pitchforks and torches in hand, demanding they surrender the right to free food for their children or whatever."

-grumpy_hedgehog

"The upper-class advice for struggling people is always 'just give up everything that keeps you from blowing your brains out, and work harder for me'."

"At some point, even luxuries can be a necessity."

-obscurereferences

Assault is assault, regardless of gender or sex.

"Celebrating teenage boys being sexually abused by an attractive older woman. It's statutory rape, but there will always be scores of men saying things like 'wish that happened to me when I was his age' or similar statements."

-squid1891

"I'd go further, that double standard is part of a larger more inherent double standard."

"Male sexual assault, rape, and victimization being treated as a joke (often times literally if you watch enough tv or movies) if the aggressor is a woman. Underage boys being victimized is terrible don't misunderstand but it's a fundamental part of the wider double standards that enable it."

-ACGC2020

Girls need armor too.

"Games with male characters in practical armor and female characters in armor-colored lingerie."

"Yes, yes, I know, oversized bosoms draw a lot of male attention. But it's a huge red flag that women aren't part of the target audience."

-Alexis_J_M

Just don't hit people.

"'No man should ever hit a woman but if a woman hits a man then obviously he must have done something to deserve it'. Abuse is abuse and nobody deserves it."

- woozywhatsitnow

It's irritating when you do it, too.

"Hating certain behaviors in someone else but making excuses for the same or similar behavior in yourself."

-BruceleSun

Greed is always a character flaw, no matter how much money you have.

"Being greedy is seen as a character flaw, but being a billionaire is seen as a great accomplishment."

-warpfivepointone

"Such is the great contradiction of a society that is obviously built to reward selfishness but shames people for being selfish. It's almost like that messaging exists to keep the poors in their place."

"The right people get to be selfish, you don't."

-stickyWithWhiskey

Everyone has emotions.

"Probably that it is okay for a woman to be emotional, but if a man does it he needs to 'man up'. Drives me slightly insane."

-AquilaAqua

"Unless that emotion is anger, then it’s reversed."

-BlueAndFuzzy

Double standards hurt everyone. It can be hard to notice them if you're on the side that benefits from them, though. If you take a look at your own life, you might be surprised to see how many double standards we're all affected by every day.

People Confess Their Weirdest Dating Requirements

Reddit user DawnOfLegion1 asked: 'What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?'

People on a date
Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

Though we mean nothing by it, there's no denying the fact that there are some characteristics, personality types, and behaviors that we find to be a total turn-off when it comes to dating.

The difficult part, though, is that what we find to be unattractive might be an unusual or unexpected thing to point out to someone else. To each their own, right?

Curious about what others' expectations were, Redditor DawnOfLegion1 asked:

"What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?"

Similar Intelligence

"He should be as smart as or smarter than me."

"There's no bigger turnoff than a guy who is noticeably dumber and there's nothing hotter than a guy who is particularly intelligent."

- _hootyowlscissors

"I'll second this. If he's slightly less intelligent, I can deal with it (although it IS a turnoff), but I've had friends date hot dumb guys, and I never got the appeal. At all. Even if the guy was sweet, I just kept thinking I would feel like I was messing with the village id**t. Not my thing at all."

- LeRuseRenard

Completely Available

"I require my date to be single. Not 'we have an understanding', not 'she doesn't understand me', and not 'we're separated and neither of us can afford an apartment on our own.' SINGLE. Not married."

"The last time a guy told me that his wife was okay with it, I told him that I wanted to hear those words from his wife. Never talked to him again."

- INobodyisme

Mind the Rules

"No getting up at 6:00 AM to do CrossFit."

"No drinking and driving."

"No crazy ex that seems to hang around with them a lot."

- Haelifae

One Word: Reciprocity

"Not a requirement, but if I paid for dinner, you paying for two ice creams or coffees isn’t all that bad."

- Soup_and_Rice

"Reciprocity."

"The older I get, the more I realize how important it is that they put in as much effort as I am."

"It doesn't have to be the same thing, have your own style; but I can't be doing all the work, all the time."

"This is with money (buy me dinner sometimes, offer to get my drink), sex (I can be a little more dominant, but you have to initiate sometimes, you have to be into it, I can't do all the work), romance or intimacy (reach out and grab my hand to walk, touch my back sometimes), or communication (text me first just to check in, for once)."

- TheLateThagSimmons

Weird Requirement: Weird

"She must be weird. And I mean truly, the kind of weird that makes other men run away."

- Vamluck

Just Equally Weird

"They have to be a little bit pervy and a little bit weird."

- CherryApple89

"When I was younger, if I was at the bar and there was a guy I thought might be fun to talk to, I would walk up and in the sexiest voice, I would tell them they have the hottest knees I have ever seen on a man."

"10 seconds flat, I would know whether they were someone I wanted to get to know. So I think I have the weird thing down."

- Dull-Geologist-8204

The Importance of Quiet Time

"I wanna be able to just chill with them doing nothing. I've been with someone who always had to be doing something and it got exhausting really fast."

- Shatteredfart

Seems Fair

"Not currently recovering from something."

"All tattoos must be spelled correctly."

"Employed."

"Four-tooth minimum."

- Mohawk60

Staying on Equal Footing

"Not sure how weird it is, but my rule is that I pay for myself every step of the way until we decide to become a couple."

"After that, we can split the bills, or take turns treating each other, etc., if that is what we both choose."

"Too many times I let a guy buy me dinner, and it is somehow implied that I now owe him something. Nope. All done with that."

- One-Internet-1982

"As a man, I have a lot of respect for that. I don't mind paying for dates and such, but I always get a bit of an icky feeling when the woman expects or demands it."

"I prefer more of an equal partnership rather than old-school gender roles, and stuff as basic as, 'Hey, you paid for the last date, let me get this one,' goes such a long way, and I feel like it also shows genuine interest from the other person."

- CaptainFresh27

Willing to Try New Things

"No picky eaters. It’s okay if you’re not a foodie, but I like to cook, and if you won’t give my food a chance, it’s not gonna work out."

- Pandaburn

A Lover of Drama

"If your profile says, 'No drama, please,' I immediately assume you are the drama or are too immature to handle life’s normal ups and downs and consider that to be drama."

- WillowWispWhipped

Intense Passion

"I love it when they have a hyper fixation."

- Unlikely-Base-4989

"The ADD/ADHD community loves you back."

- YakitoriChicken93

Knowing Your Own Limits

"No horse girls."

"I've got nothing against it, but it’s always very important to them and I’m too terrified of horses to be properly supportive, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Former-Finish4653

What's in a Name?

"They cannot have the same name as my sister or my mom."

"Alternatively, my name is unisex and a girl with my name is a turn on."

- Smellymyhand

Quite the Commitment

"I've decided that anybody I plan to spend my life with has to be willing to buy and ride a tandem bike with me."

- Sheepherder_7648

Despite the prompt being "weird requirements," some of these make a lot of sense, and more people might be adding these to their list of requirements after reading this.

But others are slightly more unexpected and likely fall under the "to each their own" category.

People on a busy street
Photo by Jason Wong on Unsplash

We all find ourselves having an unexpected run-in with someone we know on the street every now and then.

In some cases, it's a pleasant surprise and plans are immediately made to catch up.

In other cases, you dig out the first excuse you can to keep on moving, as this particular individual was not someone you hoped would re-enter your life.

Then, of course, there are the times you run into an ex.

Whether you ended things amicably or acrimoniously, it's always going to be an awkward encounter.

Just how awkward it will be, however, depends on your reaction.

Redditor rageondad was curious to hear how people would react if they unexpectedly saw their ex on the street, leading them to ask:

"You see your first ex on the street, what do you do?"

Nothing But Happy Memories...

"1st ex: say hi, nice conversation."

"All good."

"2nd ex: hide from her again, like I did that one time at the gas station."- jfg1435

Who?

"Ignore him because he’s not worth saying hi to."

"And I wouldn’t care about him at all."- Big-Elevator2491

One Way To Handle It...

"Start taking a sh*t on the side walk immediately."- ceiling_fanzz

Excuse Me What GIF by BounceGiphy

No Harm, No Foul

"Say hi."- hot-breadfruit_poop

"And ask how they are doing."

"I'm a curious creature, what can I say?"- Lamacorn

Nothing But Excitement

"Give each other a huge hug."

"We're going to see each other next week for the first time in 25 years."

"It'll be good."

"We've remained friends this whole time, so we're both looking forward to it."- riceme0112358

"Say hi, give him a hug, ask him what he's doing in town."- m00nf1r3

Couple Love GIF by PantayaGiphy

Ouch!

"Didn't you die?" -Reddit

"Wonder who dug her up."- 8urfiat

"Walk On By..."

"Just keep walking."- MythicalMicrowave

Walking By Moe Szyslak GIF by Football AustraliaGiphy

Even If It Means J-Walking

"Cross the street."- no_days_grace

Avoiding Your Ex In Five D's...

"Dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge."- catinatank·

The Passage Of Time

"I would wish her well if I recognized her."

"It’s been over 20 years since I’ve seen her."

"It’s not like we parted on bad terms or anything."- Fangsong_37

Lana Parrilla GIF by Paramount+Giphy

Go For The Jugular

"You've sure gotten old."- drpepper1992

About Face

"Run."- saus_blu

Remain Amicable

"Have a chat."

"We are still friends."- Mentalfloss1

Meg Ryan Comedy GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy

Of course, the worst element of surprise is having no idea how we might react.

Try as we might to plan just what we'd do should we ever run into an ex, we can't possibly know what will actually happen should that moment arrive.

Though, hopefully it won't ever lead to defecating on the street.


A happy woman
Joel Mott/Unsplash

When you're not particularly having a good day, the smallest compliment goes a long way.

All it takes is for someone to acknowledge your new hairstyle or say something nice about your outfit for the day that can be the biggest mood booster.

It doesn't have to be a big overture or a dramatic declaration, but it's nice to be noticed, isn't it?

Curious to hear examples of how someone made their day, Redditor Bacibaby asked:

"What is a compliment you will remember till you die?"

Some people are affable but aren't aware of how much they're appreciated for it.

A Bright Light In The World

"Someone once told me: 'It's so easy introducing you to people, you make everyone feel like you're their best friend."'

"Have held onto that for over ten years, still helps to remember when I'm not at my best."

– DashFromtheGash

Genuinely Popular

"I feel this. Last year I ran into some people I graduated high school with. A few of them were super popular during that time. One of them said 'Dude, everyone loved you in high school. I don't think there was anyone else that was able to be such good friends with so many different people and be in so many different cliques.' "

"It felt like such a genuine statement. They didn't have to say that. I've thought about it almost every day since because, to my recollection, high school was rough on me."

– sonofab*tchXmustXpay

Highly Respected

"Jeez, years ago I was at a party sometime after I graduated high school. There was a kid there who I had had a few classes with throughout the years and I always spoke to him casually like I would with anyone, but we weren't close friends or anything. He had clearly been drinking a bit because he was pretty animated and talkative and this kid usually kept to himself. Quiet is an understatement."

"He approached me and said 'Toh, I have never told you this, but I have always thought highly of you. Back in middle school there were kids making fun of the janitor and you told them all off. You told them he was working hard and there is nothing funny or to be looked down upon about taking pride in your work, no matter what you do.'"

"It almost made me tear up. I had no recollection of this moment he was talking about, but I knew I must have done it because my words in that memory of his were my father's. My parents both always hammered it into me to be a person of dignity, integrity and character. Middle school was a really tough time for me. I was bullied relentlessly. Knowing that there was someone out there who admired me during that time healed a part of little me."

– TopangaTohToh

It may be vain but getting noticed in the looks department is not such a bad thing.

Women Loving Other Women

"I was in my early 20s and I went out on the town with some girlfriends. I wore an outfit that was way out of my comfort zone. It was a black short skirt (I always wear pants) that flared out with a matching top. It showed a bit of midriff and I was self conscious."

"Before we even got into the bar, we ran into a couple of girls we didn’t know outside. I remember the one girl did a double take and just started freaking out. She went on and on and told me how gorgeous I looked and how amazing my outfit was. She had obviously been drinking, but it didn’t matter. She changed my whole night around and I suddenly felt like the hottest girl on the planet. I still remember her voice when I’m trying to pump myself up in the morning."

"I love women who love women."

– littlepinch7

Being Noticed

"Nothing feels better than when a pretty/well-dressed woman compliments you or your outfit 🥲 Every single time a gorgeous girl has called me 'pretty' or complimented me lives rent-free in my head."

– tigerribs

Train Station Affirmation

"After a concert I was on my way home with the train. I also wore an outfit out of my comfort zone, but I challenged myself. At the train station I walked passed to girl(who was drunk) and one said to the other 'omg did you se how beautiful she was?!' There was only me and them. She made my day."

– MinellaRibert

Noticed By An Older Generation

"A lovely elderly lady stopped mid sentence to say 'you have got the kindest eyes.' "

– F'kMe-F'kYou

"Old ladies are the best."

– OP

"Their honesty is only matched by that of a small child."

"In between those, things get kinda weird."

– F'kMe-F'kYou

Things get a little surprising.

In The Heat Of The Moment

"When I was like 19 I had an ex who had a history of abuse. We were arguing about something (I can't remember what about) but we were both shouting at each other. Then suddenly she broke down crying and started hugging me."

"Very confused I let the moment pass until she could speak and the compliment she paid me was 'Even when you're angry at me, I'm not scared of you.' "

– KingDebone

Owning The Big Legs

"I'm tall, heavy, and plain, and have been lucky enough to avoid getting catcalled for most of my life. But one time when I was in my 20s, biking to work in DC, this little old man on a street corner did a double take as I went by, pounding away at the pedals. 'Mighty big leeeeeeeeggggs!' he hollered, whether in appreciation or astonishment I couldn't tell."

"Now whether I'm struggling to get the bike up a hill, or just feeling down on my body, I'll say to myself 'mighty big leeeeeeeeggggs!' and feel that little extra boost. They are mighty big legs, and I am grateful both to and for them!"

– ReadTheIron

Father Knows Best

"I don't know if it counts but my dad once said 'i don't say it enough, but i'm really proud of you'."

"Which was the only time he ever said it, but it meant a lot."

– justregularoleme

The next time you internally think someone you know is looking particularly good on any given day or demonstrated something you were impressed by, you should tell them how you feel.

We often have these inner monologues that we casually dismiss because we can't be bothered, which is silly because it doesn't take much effort to verbalize them.

If it's positive, we should give voice to our thoughts.

Who knows? A compliment that you think is nothing can really brighten a person's day when they're otherwise feeling very glum, and you'd be responsible for making them feel extra special and seen.​

A couple with their backs to the camera sits on a bench looking out thinking
Photo by Charlie Foster

Breaking up is hard to do.

In fact, it's one of life's hardest things.

It sucks when love is over.

But the story is always interesting.

And there is always more than one side to the tale.

When couples retell the fall of their fairytale there is always different aspects and details mentioned.

Everyone has their own view.

And it's always best to hear both.

Or is it?

Redditor U_PassButter wanted to hear several sides of a break-up story, so they asked:

"Let your Ex tell the story; why did your relationship end?"

I don't want to know what embellishments my exes would say.

I was perfect.

Just Stop

Cardi B Applause GIF by Recording Academy / GRAMMYsGiphy

"He needs to stop being so possessive and controlling. If I wanna f**k my coworker after a shift and take him back to the house and have you catch us. I fully expect you to be okay with all of it."

Initial-Attorney-578

The Privilege

“Well, the real problem was that that a**hole, aknightwhosaysnope, didn’t trust me. If he had trusted me, he never would have looked at my phone and uncovered the affair I’ve been having with one of his best friends, and I could continue to f**k that dude while allowing aknightwhosaysnope the privilege of paying my bills. What a d**k.”

aknightwhosaysnope

In April

“'I changed my phone password because I felt like it. If you need to use it I’ll open it for you.'”

"Cut to April she’s living in NY with her new boyfriend and I’m being served divorce papers. They had been dating for 6 months while we were married."

"The pandemic definitely changed some people, some for the better, but not all."

PissyMillennial

On a Saturday...

"I deliberately picked a fight just like I do every Saturday, to force him to apologize and treat me like a princess for the rest of the weekend. But this time, when I suggested that he didn't love me and we should just break up, he actually had the nerve to agree! I couldn't believe it - that line had always worked in the past to at least get roses and a gift."

"He's such an a**hole - I even refused to leave for a while, giving him the chance to apologize to me and take it back, but he was so stubborn and just flat-out refused!"

"Even when I kept calling his phone over and over from my car, insisting that we spend one last night together, he wouldn't let me back inside his place. I still can't believe that. He owed it to me to at least hold me one more time. I even told him that, and he was still a stubborn jacka** about it."

The_Law_of_Pizza

Why can't people just go to therapy?

Find yourself in trouble.

That's where you're heading.

Not Loyal

Its Over GIFGiphy

"It was long distance, I avoided all girls as she said, stayed loyal, yet one day I felt she was down, asked what's worrying you? She told me she kissed her BFF and cheated on me, a day later she ended it."

lunar_pilot

Try

"I didn't try hard enough because I couldn't handle the pressure and stress of raising 4 children all under 9 years old, a full-time job, a part-time job, all household maintenance and upkeep, and an alcoholic partner who contributed nothing to the family or the household and drank his entire paycheck every week."

Feral_Attitude

Nothing Happened

"For some reason, he didn't like that I was cuddling with my best friend on the couch. He got it into his head that I was cheating on him (or close to doing it) and decided to end the relationship. Nothing ever happened with my friend, nor did I want it to. The fact that I immediately moved with him to another country was just a coincidence."

Tiny-Device-1127

10 Years Later

"My ex (34 F) after our ten-year marriage ended: 'He was a lovely partner, most of the time. But, his depression got a hold and he just quit enjoying anything at all, including time with me. He hated himself. I couldn't put myself through it anymore'...

"Thankfully, I've (34 M) done a ton of work and found a sense of peace, and I finally love myself. It's been a couple of years now, so, the hurt has (mostly) worn off. We have to co-parent anyway, but, I've found a new friend in my ex. She really did always care about me, even if we struggled to communicate this to each other, while we were together."

nickatnite511

Sins

New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy

"Apparently being committed to one person while dating is obsessive and to care about them even a little bit after the fact is an unforgivable sin."

TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Dating will be the death of everyone.

And apparently, so will love.