
Being a parent means instilling your child with a decent sense of right and wrong. That is, when it doesn't come at great personal harm to yourself, right? This could be where the classic, "Kids, don't tell your mother," expression comes from. Whatever the mess, whatever the spill, whatever the injury, it's worth a little lie on your conscience, right?
Reddit user, u/Tufflaw, wanted dads and the kids they swore to secrecy to break their vows and share:
Dads of Reddit, what is your best "Don't tell your mother" moment with your kid?
"You Let Them Play Video Games?!"
Haven't done this with my kids yet but I remember one from my childhood: My mom did not allow us to have video game consoles in the house. (Yes, we were deprived children.) My brother and I shared a room. He won a TV at a school party and one day I bought an N64 and several games at a garage sale. We then snuck these items into our house, and set them up in our closet. We'd been playing Mariokart, Goldeneye, and Super Smash Bros. for a couple days when my Dad walked in our room and we weren't fast enough to dump the pile of clothes over things to keep them hidden.
There was an awkward silence then the following conversation happened.
Dad: Is that a Nintendo?
Us: Yes.
Dad: Does your Mom know you have this?
Us: Probably not.
Dad: Do you have another controller?
He played with us for a while, told us not to tell mom and to this day we've all kept our secret.
"You Let Them Drink?!"
When I was underage my dad would let me have a drink every once in awhile.
The first time he had asked me to make him a screwdriver. I said sure then jokingly said "only if I get one too!" He was like "eh, whatever. You're 18 and not going anywhere tonight. Don't tell your mom."
When he passed away I was telling that story. As it turns out, mom knew the whole time. She didn't care because we were bonding.
"You Were Doing What In The Car?!"
I was in the car with my dad one winter when he pulls into an empty car park and starts pulling mad skids on the ice.
When I questioned wtf he was doing, the look on his face made it pretty clear he forgot I was in the back of the car. It made me wonder what other random sh-t he gets up to when he's on his own.
"You Ate What?!"
My wife got a birthday cake for her friends surprise party. I thought it was for us cuz it was in the fridge so I ate it.
Son saw me, knew he would tell her. He made me buy him a toy batmobile for not telling.
At least I know he's my son...
So you just ran out and got the same exact cake or what?
Tbh... Ya. I called the bakery and they got the same cake within an hour for free. I also was able to finish that other cake... Shoutout
"You Know How To Do What?!"
When my mother was away with her job for two weeks. I one evening after i was laid to bed got up, and saw my dad ironing his own shirts, he looked at me and said: "Don't tell your mom that I know how to do this. "
"You Gave Them Sugar?!"
My kid rats me out every dang time I give her sugar. Lollipop at the store? First thing she says when we get home.
Snitch.
You're Next!
I guess this is more of being ratted out, but if I crack a rat, he yells "Daddy fong pei!" Which mean "Daddy farted" in Cantonese.
Someone's getting the Dutch oven treatment soon.
Need For Something...
Wife and I went with high school band down to local band competition to support one of our kids. About 5 hours drive away through mostly desert. Competition was Friday night, then had to assist coaching my son's Jr. High football game at 9am on Sat., and back in distant city with son for final competition Sat night.
I rented GT 500 Mustang and took it home. Well over 100mph late at night on the way home. And same coming back. Had to tell him not to tell Mom we hit more than 130mph.
He loved it.
You're Last On The List, Now!
Trying out my new longbow in the garage and just so slightly missed the target and right through the garage door.
I didn't even have time to say "oh crap" before one of my kids yelled "mom, guess what dad just did!"
Missed The Firsts
i've got twin 14 month old girls, and a 10 year old stepdaughter. Mom works most nights, so it's just me and the girls. One of the twins took her first steps playing with me and her older sister, and i made the 10 year old promise not to tell her mom.
We had been practicing walking with them for months and knew we were really close but they just had to take that first leap of faith. I don't want her to think she missed first steps because she was working.
Stand Up For Yourself
I've always raised my kids to be strong. Pick themselves up when they fall rather than cry about it every since they were babies.
That being said me and my son (who was two at the time) were at the playground. This mom shows up with two of her kids, a boy around 5 and a girl about 7 or so. You could tell just by the way she was acting that she was a Coddler and one of those "My kids don't do no wrong because I'm there to protect them" kind of woman.
Well her 5 year old son was kicking a soccer ball around and I saw him look at my two year old, take a running start and kick the ball right at my 2 y/o sons head and knock him to the ground, he wasn't on the ground 2 seconds! Not even shedding a tear my son stood up picked up that soccer ball walked over to the kid said "that's not nice" and smashed the ball off of the kids face, this kid goes to the ground crying and his mother runs over hysterically freaking out.
Keep in mind that she didn't care her son kicked a ball at my son's head just that my son stood up to him, so the kids crying like a baby, moms freaking out and right in front of the kid and his mom my two year old said "Walk it off and Stop Acting Like a F-cking Pussy!"
Took him for ice cream afterwards I had never felt so proud in my life
Rat Them Out
When I was a kid my father set the driveway on fire trying to burn out a stump.
I wasn't taking the fall for that though.
Just Wait And See
My son farted on the pizza and I didn't tell mom because I wanted to see how she would react
Getting Them Started Early
I had just poured a beer into a glass and then picked up my 1 year old. Kid in the left arm, beer in the right hand. I was carrying both to the family room so he could play and I could watch some hockey. I was momentarily distracted by a highlight and when I glanced back, his hand was in my beer glass and then he shoved it right into his mouth.
I hurriedly set the beer down, pulled his hand out and dried it off as quick as I could. "Buddy I know you can't talk yet but let's just keep this one between us"
Shoot Yourself In The Foot
One day I picked my daughter up from daycare and gave her a candy bar. I told her not to tell mom. No problems there. So then about a week later we are all in the car and I tell my wife "Oh I gave her a candy bar last time I picked her up." My daughter gets mad at me like "DAD, YOU SAID NOT TO TELL MOMMY!"
So yeah, that's my best. The time my daughter got mad at me for telling mom when I said not too.
"You Let Them Swim Near What?!"
Oh I got this.
My daughter and I are on a 10-day road trip through the American South, an AirBNB here, a campground there and one state park right outside of Jackson, Mississippi.
We'd just come from New Orleans where, among other things, we had taken a "Swamp Tour" where we were within spitting distance of some massive alligators. After 6 or so hours of driving, we decided to pitch a tent for the night by a river. At the time, my daughter was 8 years-old and couldn't get enough swimming. The park ranger was making his rounds so we asked him if it was cool to go swimming in the river and he recommends a spot only a few minutes walk from where we were camped.
So we do just that. A couple of hours of splashing around and having fun and such and we go roast our hotdogs and retire—at which point we are treated to the most glorious lightning storm I've ever seen.
The next morning, we wake up and while we're packing up camp, two local ladies start chatting us up and they happen to mention the family of alligators they had seen swimming in the river.
Horrified, I asked where. They pointed right to where we were swimming. I asked if they had seen them the day before and they said yes, same spot.
I literally looked at my daughter and said "Mommy is never to hear of this."
That was such a great trip for so many other reasons, but that story sticks out.
"You Ran Out Of Gas Mid-Flight?!"
When I was growing up, my dad was a private pilot (but former military pilot with many thousands of hours) and would sometimes take me along. One day, mid-flight, the engine just quit and we found ourselves at 5,000 feet and steadily descending in a glide over some pretty forested land.
Turns out he had forgotten to switch fuel tanks mid-flight (there were three in the plane and you're supposed to switch between them as you fly to ensure a constant supply of fuel and proper balancing). Luckily he diagnosed the issue and re-started the engine with a couple thousand feet to spare, and we were fine.
After he got sorted and chilled out a bit, he clicked on the intercom and said, "you're not gonna tell your mom about that, are you?"
I was about 13 years old (I'm in my 40s now), and she still doesn't know. She was paranoid about us kids flying with him and that would have been the end of it. He's in his 70s and still flying. Swears that's the only time he's ever had a brain fart like that while flying. I don't know if I believe him.
What do you not want your kids' mother to find out about? Share it with us!
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It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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