Not everybody is meant to be a parent.
Sometimes procreation is not in the cards.
And that can be a FANTASTIC feeling.
There is a certain calm and security when looking ahead knowing you only will ever have YOU to be responsible for.
Redditor Visible-Athlete-3707 wanted to hear from all the people out there who plan to stay child-free.
So they asked:
"What are your life goals for people who don't plan on having kids?"
I plan to have everything I want. And save... TIME.
Free
Happy Spring Break GIF by HBOGiphy"Travel. Try all the restaurants. Live a relatively stress-free life."
hooch
"Stress free is the key."
Blackcat2332
happy enough...
"I don't have any major goals, not going to put pressure on myself to achieve this or that. Life is not a competition for me. As long as I'm happy enough, then I'm happy enough."
LucyVialli
"Contentment is more important than happiness."
homarjr
"I see my life as like living in the shire. I'm comfortable, happy, lovely wife and loving mother in law. We don't need much and live comfortably and content. That's my life goal."
suddenlycumbly
Goals
"Retire early, travel, and poop in private."
T0lly
"You won’t poop in private if you have a dog but otherwise these are my goals."
fullerhouseaz
"It’s freaking awesome! I retired at 49. Just got back from Italy. Leaving for Prague and Krakow in November. Punta Mita in January and Cuba in March. Taking a year off. Then Iceland and Haunted Halloween tour of UK in 2024. Pooping in private is pretty great too."
zzid2d21
Covid Thoughts
"I wasn't planning on having kids pre-Covid and now after I don't even really care about my career either. It really opened my eyes on how dumb society is setup and how I just created a life based on what my parents, media, tv, religion, etc told me life was about."
"I'm way happier now and I'm gonna do whatever I see fit for the rest of my life and I don't really care what others say. I'm also not meaning i'm gonna just blow all my money, but hey if that's what I decide to do that's fine too."
Dr_Edge_ATX
$$$
Pay Day Money GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphy"Good career so I can have money for a whole jungle. My parents didn't let me have pets growing up so it backfiring now."
imjustbrainstorming
Save that coin...
And then die...
Christmas Cheers GIF by PantayaGiphy"Get a dog, make cool art and projects, go to conventions, eat great food, watch movies, play games, collect pins and charms and whatever else interests me. And then die."
asocialautist
"Me and my wife have fallen in with a like-minded group of friends, either empty-nesters or DINKs like us. We travel the world. 11 of us just got back from a 7-day Alaskan cruise. But we’ve been traveling abroad since 2013."
poxxy
"How did you meet these people? My husband and I are DINKs in our late 30s and we are having trouble finding others since all our friends are 100% occupied with raising their kids."
yarn-and-garden
"If it's something you're into, consider going to a music festival where everyone camps and do VIP. Generally, your VIP campers are DINKs or if they have kids they haven't made child raising their life."
"For me, I met my group of travel friends at Bonnaroo 5 years ago. It's a rotating cast but there's about 10 of them who we have been on trips with outside of music festivals now. We're planning to do a big Caribbean trip next year where we rent out some nice villa and party it up for a week."
"I know camping music festivals aren't for everyone, but if it's for you, you can definitely find likeminded people there to become travel buddies with."
runningraleigh
Overrated
"Goals are overrated. I try to have fun, take care of my hobbies and not make plans if at all possible."
schaiba
"I have no discernible goals, my partner and I just wanna do our own things that make us happy."
"We both want to climb and travel, I want to paint, and we just wanna get old and be eclectic together without having our lives revolve around a kid for 18+ years."
"I have a bunch of fun aunts and I will gladly be that for my brother’s kids once they’re older. But I personally hate small children and the idea of having a baby in my house irritates the f**k out of me."
ChaosDevilDragon
Simple
"The main goal is to live a simple life with as little stress as possible. Having a child would be awesome and there are many positives but there are many stresses with a child too with the monetary aspect being a huge thing for me that i would rather avoid. I’m fine living in a studio or 1 bedroom house my entire life with my cats and living a simple life."
Teaffection
Everything
free freedom GIFGiphy"Honestly, not having my life dictated by having children does give the freedom to choose what ever I want to do with my life. Now if I could get some actual money together I might have a clearer idea on what specifically I want to do lol."
akathewilyfox
Kids aren't for everybody. And that sounds like fun.
"Guys that sleep with other guy's girlfriends, do you feel bad afterwards? Why or why not?"
Lose A Significant Other, Make A Friend!
"Hooked up with a girl at a party once."
"We hit it off and arranged to go on an actual date the next week."
"About an hour later someone told me her BF had just showed up."
"I gave the dude a beer, explained that I had no idea she wasn't single and that I'm sorry."
"He gave me a massive hug and thanked me for being upfront."
"We both told her to f*ck off and spent the rest of the night drinking and singing karaoke together."
"Top bloke."
"I didn't feel bad; I was lied to, he was betrayed, she was a *unt, nothing more to it really."- 5Volt
Pulled The Plug
"I did it twice not knowing they had bfs."
"Yes, I felt bad afterwards and I totally cut contact when I found out."- born_again_tim
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyBuh-Bye!
"When I was in college a married woman tried to hide her marriage… to a deployed Marine."
"As soon as I found out, I bounced."
"I never condone cheating."- ItsbeenBroughton
Two People Were Duped
"I actually have a story about this."
"So I hooked up with a girl who had a long term boyfriend at the time."
"I didn't know and we had few encounters over a two month period."
"One day I was curious and decided to look at her socials and that's when I found out about him."
"I never bothered to look because I was being ignorant and it was first time being in a fwb situation so I was excited and wanted to keep it secret."
"As I scrolled down her socials all I saw were pics of them on expensive dates and trips and I just felt so bad for the guy."
"I felt like I had become the thing I hated the most."
"So that same night I decided to DM him about the situation and send him the texts between me and her to show him proof."
"He then called me and sounded really hurt holding back tears and all I could do was just say sorry over and over."
"But he thanked me and told me he would be leaving her."
"I then blocked her number and thought it was over with but later on that week the girl showed up at my place of work and damaged my car."
"Although I was angry at the moment I chose not to press charges as advised by the police (not USA) because the damage was minimal."
"But yea that's my story."
"On a positive note he found a new girl who looks way better and they equally appreciate each other outwardly on their socials so yes it was a happy ending."- rankyy
Beyonce Lemonade GIFGiphyEven The Idea Is Hard Enough
"I lost a mate this way."
"We were really close friends and he was going through a rough time with his then girlfriend."
"She decided to get back at him by writing some bullsh*t in her journal about her and I hooking up and then conveniently left it out so he would see it."
"It was 100% untrue."
"Friend confronted me on it and I told him it was untrue but he didn’t believe me."
"We stopped talking after that."
"He eventually reached out to me about 6 months later after she admitted to him that she had made it all up."
"The damage was done and we never were the same again."- tizod
This Opens Many Questions...
"I had a brief friends with benefits arrangement with a girl who had a boyfriend."
"I didn't know the guy, and I was young and impetuous at the time."
"After time went on, I started to feel bad about it."
"It all came to a head when she told me she wanted to leave him to be with me and I said no."
"She asked why not."
"I said I couldn't trust her as a girlfriend."
"She asked why."
"I said, you've literally spent the last 2 months cheating on your boyfriend."
"With me."
"Why else do you think?"- Idontdanceforfun
Fox Accuse GIF by New GirlGiphyAn Agreement Or Just Her Policy?
"I hooked up with a lady at my gym, she didn't say sh*t about being married, she came to my place the two times we hooked up."
"I saw her again at the gym with a dude, when he went off to go do something I went over and said hi, she said don't talk to her here with her husband around, she will call me later."
"She called me later and told me her husband worked out of town a ton, when in town she was with him, when he's out she's free to do as she pleases."
"We did not meet up again."- SomeRandomUser00
Thankfully, They Grew Up...
"I did it knowingly during High School."
"I was dating and she was too, but we both had issues in our relationships and we didn't know how to figure them out."
"Clinging to our toxic relationships we found solace in each other and enjoyed spending time together."
"We ended up fooling around and after we had sex, we both stopped."
"We stayed friends for a while and both continued dating, but eventually both of us were single."
"I regret it, he doesn't know about it, I told my gf and she accepted my apology, even though we did break up about a year later."
"I'm not proud of myself and I still hate myself for it."- Slippy_666
Nipped In The Bud...
"A buddy’s wife tried to get with me once."
"I told her she had 90 seconds to call her husband (my best friend from High school), put the call on speaker, and explain to the two of us why she was a complete POS…or I’d call him myself."
"They divorced the next month."- Pennameus_The_Mighty
Season 2 No GIF by MartinGiphySome Secrets Aren't Worth Keeping
"If i know she cheated with me on her dude I let the dude know.""
"i hate that kind of people."- DaEpicBob
It's hard to place blame on those who unknowingly got together with partnered individuals.
Those who knew what they were doing, on the other hand, should have expected there to be consequences of some sort or another.
Do you have any similar experiences, let us know in the comments below.
Redditor RealTourelle11 wanted to hear how friendships fell apart, so they asked:
"What made you realize your best friend was actually a complete a**hole?"
I've realized far too many times too late, that some people need to go.
Not all friends are friends.
EXCUSE ME?!
real housewives fight GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy"When she told me she was cheating on her husband, and then I found out she was cheating with MY husband."
7grendel
$40 worth of snacks...
"I was poor and in college, I had the flu really really bad one week and asked my friend (he lived in a dorm across the hall) to go to the convenience store in the dorm lobby and get me something to drink and he could get whatever for himself too. He got me my soda and himself $40 worth of snacks."
"Didn’t notice at the time and I ordered us a pizza, he knew it was all I was going to have to eat for the next few days, and he snuck into my room and ate the leftovers while I was passed out on cold medicine."
"I didn’t even really know how to respond. Like I was already buying him snacks and feeding him… he had a meal plan on campus (I didn’t)… why act like that?"
EmperorMrKitty
Thief
"When I trusted and believed he was like a brother only to have him steal thousands of dollars from me. The money didn’t even matter but the treason hurt for years."
thejourney_89
"Happened to me too. A girl who was like a sister to me stole $80K from my business (her husband did, with her knowledge) and then turned her back on me while I was going through chemo. To be fair, I did tell her the worst thing would be if I lost a huge amount of money like that and that I’d rather have cancer again so I did give her the method to hurt me the worst. So there’s that."
Miqotegirl
Blocked
"Over time we lost contact, then she only reached out when she needed money. I let this go on too long until I found out I was pregnant with my first, and told her then I wouldn't send any money after that. She still asked, my daughter is now over 1.5 yo, and she had never even met her. I ended up blocking her and telling her not to bother trying to reach out anymore."
Beneficial_Affect522
Conversation Over...
Talking Blah Blah Blah GIF by Wiz KhalifaGiphy"I started to realize that they only ever talk about themselves. They rarely ask me a question, but then cut me off while I’m answering to make it about them."
onemoretwat
Why can't people realize they need to shut up?
Probably because they don't care.
And Me?
Bye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey MouseGiphy"Realizing I am always there for them but it is never reciprocated or even acknowledged or even feigned interested in any thing I am doing in life."
Auniqueusername1983
Favors
"Best friend since elementary. In high school When I told her I no longer wanted to be friends because she was mean to others all the time, including me- she said that I had to be friends with her cuz she was my friend In elementary and middle school even tho everyone told her not to be, and that everyone talked behind my back about how gross and weird I was and she stayed my friend anyhow. She worded it like she was doing me a huge favor by being my friend and that I somehow owed her for that charity."
caffeinebee
In the end...
"Probably when my gf at the time admitted to sleeping with him and my three other guy friends while we were together. Not in an embarrassed way either, she was throwing it in my face to hurt me."
"I hoped against my own instincts that it wasn't true but I asked him and knew instantly from the look in his eyes that it was. Basically lost my whole friend group overnight, but... ended up finding much better friends in the long run. It all works out."
sleepingfox307
The Single Life
"All we ever talked about was her - how she hated being single, who she dated, how jealous she was of other people with partners. She skipped my dad's funeral. She ignored my housewarming party. She'd ignore me for weeks at a time, then suddenly call me up crying because she got dumped."
"I drove her to surgeries and sat waiting to drive her home. Watched her kids. Sat through a hundred weepy nights."
"Then she found a relationship. I have seen her 1x in the past 9 months (because I invited her to get together) and haven't heard from her in 3. I guess she must be happy now, doesn't need me to be a shoulder to lean on. She wasn't ever interested in being a friend to me. I was just someone to cheer her up when she was feeling down."
knastywoman
Loser
Shaking Head Reaction GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy"When he got his girlfriend pregnant he got 6 weeks of paternity leave. He lived with me and she had her own place. For months after the child was born he sat home taking advantage of his paid vacation playing 10 hours of video games a day while she struggled with the child."
GuyMansworth
Some people just need to go from our lives.
It's healthy.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor EveningAd3633 wanted to hear about all the reasons to abstain or let loose, so they asked:
"Do you think that waiting until you are married for sex is a good idea? Why or why not?"
Redditors from around the globe wanted to share their experiences.
No Touching
"I know a couple who are waiting until marriage. They both agree on it and are fine with it. But they have ridiculously over the top tickle fights. - _- It makes me so uncomfortable to witness. I'd almost rather see them bang in front of me. It's band camp levels of tension that just won't ever go away."
rlev97
Do we Fit?
"No. We waited and we were not compatible… eventually, he cheated and we got divorced. Also, being compatible sexually is not a reason to get married either."
Whatwhyohhh
"I don’t understand how people don’t get this. It’s the same as any other aspect of marriage—if you aren’t compatible, you shouldn’t get married. It would be like dating someone, and the entire time you’re both blindfolded."
"Then after you’re married you can FINALLY take your blindfold off only to find out your partner looks like someone set their face on fire and put it out with a pick axe. Every aspect of compatibility is important in a marriage."
"Yes, you both change and evolve but if you’re not both 100% committed to weathering these changes and adapting as a couple, then your marriage will probably not be a happy one!"
ThrowRA--scootscooti
All Aspects
"Personally, I think it's good to wait a while before having sex with someone to actually know them, but I wouldn't wait to be married... I think you should know the person that you are marrying on all aspect."
reidjanie
"WELL SAID - and just to take on so many of the other opinions on this thread, it is NOT a good idea to wait until after marriage. It’s not 'fine if you want' it’s actively a terrible idea IF you care about having a sex life. Hoping it will work out through sheer luck? Idiotic."
frecklie
Things Change
"No. Not saying you should f**k everyone that propositions you but you should make sure you are compatible with someone before marrying them. Too many people find out too late they can't stand someone's actual personality. Things change after sex, people calm down and get real, they stop being on their best behavior. Get to know the real person before you marry an intolerable a**hole."
Sithlord_unknownhost
Stay Calm
Relaxing Chill Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy"If you want to wait, go for it. But don’t set yourself up for waiting until marriage, and then rush the marriage part just to get to the sex."
1107rwf
"Kid I work with is 24. Just got married. Did the deed. Now has a kid on the way. All within 3-4 months of meeting his wife at church. Great kid. But you can see it in his face already. The guy is STRESSED."
PostRdMalone
Roulette
tv land casino GIF by Lopez on TV LandGiphy"Paraphrasing Lewis Black: If you wait until marriage to have sex, then you are a gambler on a level I can't even freaking imagine."
Zerotan
Don’t judge...
"I would say it’s not about waiting until you are married but waiting until it is right for both of you. That’s the key point that a lot of people get wrong. They get to it for reasons other than it being right or feeling right."
"So if your belief is that you should have committed to a marriage, then that is what is going to feel right for you. It could also be that within hours (or even minutes) you can feel that it is right for you. Don’t judge the duration, judge the feeling that you have."
Icanicoke
Cause and Effect
"I’ve heard horror stories of marriages being destroyed because it wasn’t until after wedlock that they discovered their sex drives were entirely different. It causes depression, it causes divorce, and in some extreme cases, it pushes people to cheat. I just don’t think it’s worth it to wait when it could potentially make or break a relationship."
Hiding_In_The_Back
He was right...
"My step dad always told me, 'You might like the pair of jeans you have, but there's always a chance you'll find a pair that fits you better.' He was right. There was no shame in having sex before marriage, and he also taught me that as a female, it is perfectly OK to buy and have the condoms. It's also ok to reject a guy if he doesn't want to be safe. Your body is worth more than his sexual pleasure."
nivsei15
More than talk...
Heart GIF by BuzzFeedGiphy"No. Unless you're both asexual, sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship, and that's not something you can determine just through conversation."
Deaf_Witch
"Sexual compatibility is important for asexual people too, as in having a similar lack of interest in it."
DescipleOfCorn
Thanks to these Redditors for opening up and sharing on such an important topic.
Some really valid points were made about communication, expectation, and compatibility.
Do you have any thoughts to share? Let us know in the comments below.
