Ideal Life Goals For People Who Don't Plan To Have Kids
Not everybody is meant to be a parent.
Sometimes procreation is not in the cards.
And that can be a FANTASTIC feeling.
There is a certain calm and security when looking ahead knowing you only will ever have YOU to be responsible for.
Redditor Visible-Athlete-3707 wanted to hear from all the people out there who plan to stay child-free.
So they asked:
"What are your life goals for people who don't plan on having kids?"
I plan to have everything I want. And save... TIME.
FreeHappy Spring Break GIF by HBOGiphy
"Travel. Try all the restaurants. Live a relatively stress-free life."
"Stress free is the key."
"I don't have any major goals, not going to put pressure on myself to achieve this or that. Life is not a competition for me. As long as I'm happy enough, then I'm happy enough."
"Contentment is more important than happiness."
"I see my life as like living in the shire. I'm comfortable, happy, lovely wife and loving mother in law. We don't need much and live comfortably and content. That's my life goal."
"Retire early, travel, and poop in private."
"You won’t poop in private if you have a dog but otherwise these are my goals."
"It’s freaking awesome! I retired at 49. Just got back from Italy. Leaving for Prague and Krakow in November. Punta Mita in January and Cuba in March. Taking a year off. Then Iceland and Haunted Halloween tour of UK in 2024. Pooping in private is pretty great too."
"I wasn't planning on having kids pre-Covid and now after I don't even really care about my career either. It really opened my eyes on how dumb society is setup and how I just created a life based on what my parents, media, tv, religion, etc told me life was about."
"I'm way happier now and I'm gonna do whatever I see fit for the rest of my life and I don't really care what others say. I'm also not meaning i'm gonna just blow all my money, but hey if that's what I decide to do that's fine too."
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"Good career so I can have money for a whole jungle. My parents didn't let me have pets growing up so it backfiring now."
Save that coin...
And then die...Christmas Cheers GIF by PantayaGiphy
"Get a dog, make cool art and projects, go to conventions, eat great food, watch movies, play games, collect pins and charms and whatever else interests me. And then die."
"Me and my wife have fallen in with a like-minded group of friends, either empty-nesters or DINKs like us. We travel the world. 11 of us just got back from a 7-day Alaskan cruise. But we’ve been traveling abroad since 2013."
"How did you meet these people? My husband and I are DINKs in our late 30s and we are having trouble finding others since all our friends are 100% occupied with raising their kids."
"If it's something you're into, consider going to a music festival where everyone camps and do VIP. Generally, your VIP campers are DINKs or if they have kids they haven't made child raising their life."
"For me, I met my group of travel friends at Bonnaroo 5 years ago. It's a rotating cast but there's about 10 of them who we have been on trips with outside of music festivals now. We're planning to do a big Caribbean trip next year where we rent out some nice villa and party it up for a week."
"I know camping music festivals aren't for everyone, but if it's for you, you can definitely find likeminded people there to become travel buddies with."
"Goals are overrated. I try to have fun, take care of my hobbies and not make plans if at all possible."
"I have no discernible goals, my partner and I just wanna do our own things that make us happy."
"We both want to climb and travel, I want to paint, and we just wanna get old and be eclectic together without having our lives revolve around a kid for 18+ years."
"I have a bunch of fun aunts and I will gladly be that for my brother’s kids once they’re older. But I personally hate small children and the idea of having a baby in my house irritates the f**k out of me."
"The main goal is to live a simple life with as little stress as possible. Having a child would be awesome and there are many positives but there are many stresses with a child too with the monetary aspect being a huge thing for me that i would rather avoid. I’m fine living in a studio or 1 bedroom house my entire life with my cats and living a simple life."
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"Honestly, not having my life dictated by having children does give the freedom to choose what ever I want to do with my life. Now if I could get some actual money together I might have a clearer idea on what specifically I want to do lol."
Kids aren't for everybody. And that sounds like fun.
Human beings have five senses, sure—but we all know about the sixth sense. The one that tells us when something isn’t right, even if there’s no logical reason for it. Don’t believe us? Well, just ask these people. They listened to that sinking feeling and ended up thanking their lucky stars that they did. From the bizarre to the disturbing, these stories gave us all the proof we needed to listen to our gut.
Truck on Truck Violencetimelapse photography of vehiclesPhoto by arnie chou on Unsplash
I was driving to work one morning at about 2 am. As I was behind this slow 18-wheeler, I was getting a feeling I needed to move. When we came up to a red light, I switched over a lane so that I wouldn’t be behind him anymore. Just about a second later I heard something that sounded like an explosion. It was a tow truck slamming into the back of the 18-wheeler at about 70 mph.
It tore off the two rear axles on the trailer, and most certainly would have smashed my car to pieces.
My dad left for work, got a weird feeling, and drove back home. When he walked in, he entered a nightmare. Everyone in the house was unconscious. He had to drag or carry them all outside one by one and call the ambulance. It turns out that my mom and her entire family had severe carbon monoxide inhalation. Because he trusted his gut, they all survived.
When I was 18, I was on a back road with some friends. A girl I didn't know was driving really fast. Now, I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie, and I have always enjoyed a calculated risk in the name of a good time, but I just had a terrible feeling this time. I told her to either slow the heck down or let me out. I literally had to start screaming at her before she listened and slowed down.
A week later, a friend told me a story that made my blood run cold. She had crashed on that same stretch of road at 90mph, killing herself and the three passengers of her car.
I work at a psych hospital. I was in the cafe with an adult unit and the adolescent unit was also there. I had known one of the kids from when she was on the children’s and normally we had a good rapport. I went to say hi and told her I was proud she had been staying out of trouble, a few of the other girls reacted weirdly to me saying it and the girl looked guilty.
I told the staff on the unit and said they should keep an extra eye on the girls because I had bad vibes about it. The staff kinda brushed me off. A half hour later four girls—including the one I knew—literally almost killed the two staff, one got her head bashed in and suffered brain trauma and the other staff was blinded in one eye.
Tragically Right to Be Worried
My mom called me when I was out with a friend. She told me my brother didn't come home last night. She was very worried, even though this is not the weirdest thing for a 21-year-old. I went straight home, and we both felt like something bad had happened. At home, his phone was on the couch in the living room so we couldn't contact him. We called the police and after a week of investigation, his body was found drowned in a nearby lake. I miss him every day.
Don’t Laugh At Your Kid's Gutchild peeking from vehicle windowPhoto by Anton Luzhkovsky on Unsplash
A storm was gathering as my dad was driving. I was 8, sitting in the back and looking out the window. I told him: "You better hurry, that construction crane looks like it might topple." Everybody laughs at the idiot kid. That evening the whole family was watching the local news. They opened with that crane crashing down due to heavy wind.
Although nobody had been hurt, I felt vindicated.
Not What I Meant By Date & Dinner
Once at a party, I was about to kiss this girl, but my spider senses tingled. I took a few steps back, and she was like "what the fu- " before throwing up. So glad I dodged that bullet.
The Wheels of Fate
Was riding my motorcycle with a friend on the back. We were going down a country road behind a truck hauling a bunch of old car tires, when all of a sudden, I decided we shouldn't be there. I slowed way down to let the truck go ahead of us. Just as I did, one of the tires fell off the truck and landed right where we would have been.
When I was in middle school, I got into a local college’s summer program where kids study advanced subjects. The day was over before my mom's work day, so I would take the light rail to the library or sometimes the local community center. Anyway, it was my first time ever really being on my own in a city or in public in general.
My parents got me my first cell phone because of all this. They didn't make me scared but I was prepared about how to stay safe. I sort of did the same thing everyday; get off my stop, go get a burger, and then go to one place or the other, making sure not to talk to strangers and all that. A couple of times, I noticed a man walking behind me. He'd also go the same burger place that I went to.
He never tried to talk to me or do anything like that, but after the fourth time I noticed, I called my mom and she told me people are just going about their day, on a schedule like I am, so it could just be a coincidence. Well, one day I decided to eat inside the burger place instead of take it to go, and I saw him walking outside and straight toward the way I would normally go.
Before he got out of the parking lot, he started looking around, like he was looking for someone or something. I went to the restroom, called my mom, and told her to get me. I didn't go that way ever again after that, took a new route. About a week or so later, a chilling story came on the news about a girl who had gone missing. The video footage was from the same strip center as the burger place.
The suspect was the man who had been following me.
Kids Know More Than They Let on
My mom told me this story the other day and it freaked me out. When my oldest sister was little, like 3 years old, she asked my then-pregnant aunt to pick her up to hold her. My mom said she was like "She can't pick you up, honey, she has a baby in her tummy." And then my little sister was like "That baby is dead!" My mom freaked out, but my aunt and grandma were fine and were telling my mom it was all good, she was just a toddler and didn't know what she was saying.
Well, lo and behold my aunt goes to the doctor the next day for a routine pregnancy checkup, and the baby was dead. Give me the willies just thinking about it.
Sometimes a Hot Shower Doesn’t Cure Allman in black adidas zip up jacketPhoto by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash
One day, I felt a sudden pain in my lungs when I inhaled. I’ve never been stabbed, so I don’t know what it’s like, but the pain should have been equal to it, if not worse. It had happened before, years ago. After some hot water in the shower, the pain was gone. My wife insisted on going to ER. I insisted on hot water. “I feel like we should go and see a doctor,” she said.
When I was examined, I was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism on both lungs. The doctor said “One or two more hours, and you would’ve been gone.” So yeah, I owe my wife one.
Watching The Ones Who Do Not Smile
I was at a party when I was in college when two older dudes showed up. The place was packed and most people were loaded. I noticed something was a bit off about them. They never smiled and weren’t really talking to anyone. Finally, someone accused them of feeling around in their back pocket and it turned out they were lifting wallets from dumb college kids.
Once confronted, one of the guys stabbed the kid in the stomach with a smallish knife. They left slowly and were never caught. It was pretty surreal. The kid who got stabbed turned out fine.
Granny Knows What's Up
We had a psychopath roaming South Carolina a couple years ago. No one knew what he looked like yet but he had already killed three people at this point. Well, my granny has lived alone since my paw-paw passed about 15 years ago. She lives at the end of a long dirt road with about 10 other families but the closest one was about a quarter mile up the road.
One afternoon some random guy comes knocking on the front door of her house. My granny is a practical woman, she has never been to school because she grew up on a farm and was expected to pull her weight, but she is a smart woman. She goes to the door but doesn't open it—it’s a glass door. The 40ish-year-old man is there asking if he can use the phone since his car broke down, but Granny doesn't like the look of this guy. If he doesn't live here there is no reason for him to be on this road and if he was visiting someone their house or anyone else's house would have been closer since she lives on a dead end.
Anyways, she tells him that no he can't use the phone and needs to leave. She backs up and picks up my paw-paw's 410 as she goes. Once he sees the shotgun he hightails it out of there. About a week later the cops finally catch pyschopath and lo and behold if it isn't the same man.
What’s the Harm at a Farm?
I had a co-worker who used to go to parties in high school. Several of the parties in her senior year were at some guy’s farm. She went to one and bailed right away, saying it felt weird. The guy who owned the farm was Robert Pickton.
The Nose Knows
I was like eight when my parents took me and my younger brother to stay the night at my paternal grandparents' house because they were in the middle of divorcing. They lived in a farmhouse that was connected to a barn with machinery, gasoline tanks, and hay on the ground floor and furnished rooms on the floor above that. The room we were supposed to stay in was in that barn.
As soon as we went into the guest room, I was overwhelmed by panic and felt really dizzy. I turned around and just said that we will not sleep in that room, and we spent the night on the couch in the living room instead. Later that night, a gas leak in the barn ignited. The entire barn exploded, including the guest rooms on its top floor.
Maybe I had that weird feeling because the gas had leaked into the room already, but no one else felt anything. I'm sure I would be dead if I hadn't noticed it
Trust Your Gutvintage bar stationPhoto by Florencia Viadana on Unsplash
A few years ago, I was at a bar with a couple of friends. All was good, we were drinking and having fun. All of sudden, we heard this discussion taking place just a couple of tables away from us. Two guys decided to have a shouting/threat match. I stopped everything to pay attention to them. My friends were making fun of me, saying I was gossipy. One of the guys in the discussion got up and left.
Immediately after he left, I told my friends we had to go. Right away. I was adamant. They didn't get why I was being weird, but we’d been friends forever, so they reluctantly agreed. We went to a different bar in a different neighborhood, but I couldn't take my mind off of those two guys. The next day, I turned on the news and I couldn’t believe my eyes.
There was a report about a bar fight. Apparently, the guy who got up went home, grabbed a gun and came back for a drive by. He mowed down four people in the process. My grandpa taught me to never ignore my gut, and I couldn't be happier to have listened.
I was driving a friend home late at night when I was around 21. She lived in a pretty rural area outside of St. Louis, MO and about a quarter mile from her house was an old abandoned farm and farm house. I always thought of this place as non-threatening as she told me she and her two sisters would go there as kids and they found an attic full of cool things, including a trunk of vintage woman’s clothing and old love letters. It was like something out of a movie.
Anyway, I’m driving her home and it’s a hot, humid Missouri summer so we have the windows open. We are also singing at the top of our lungs. We pass the abandoned farm and I drop her off at her house. I wait long enough to see she makes it inside and I head back out the way I came. I’m driving along and I get to where the farm is. I see two things in the middle of the road, but I can’t tell what they are.
My danger meter goes off. I had just driven this road and there was nothing there. That’s when I put the windows up and made sure the doors were locked. I got closer and realized the items are two car batteries, spaced out in the road in such a way that I would have to get out and move them to drive on the road. I immediately knew I wasn’t getting out of the car.
I picked the side of the road that had the more shallow ditch and I gunned it. I was driving a little SUV and remember feeling the car run over branches and things in the ditch, but I just gunned it and got out of there. All the way home, I felt creeped out and kept checking my rear view mirror. I called my friend the next morning and told her what had happened and we both agreed it was weird.
Shortly after that, I moved to another state and didn’t think much of it after that. Fast forward to a couple of years later when I was back visiting my hometown. I randomly ran into my old friend and she ran up to me with wide eyes and grabbed my arms. She asked me if I remembered what I told her that night. I said yes and she proceeded to tell mea story that made my blood run cold.
Not too long after the night with the car batteries in the road had happened, her family was awakened in the middle of the night to someone pounding on their sliding glass door. Her dad went to check and saw two naked, injured women. He let them in and immediately called 9-1-1. They had been abducted from St. Louis City, about 40 minutes away, by two men and brought to the old abandoned farmhouse where the men had attacked them.
The women somehow managed to get free and ran like heck to the only light they could see—the light over my friend’s garage. They both survived, but the men who grabbed them were never caught. There was evidence the men had been going there for a while. My friend was convinced they had put the batteries in the road to get me to stop.
I’m just really glad my gut told me not to get out of my car.
The Man in Red
Well, I was walking home. Wasn't late and I'm from a pretty safe area, but it was that time of year when it starts to get dark really early so felt kind of ominous. Anyway, I pass this guy in a red sweater and red tracksuit bottoms, and he looks at me funny. Maybe he's high, maybe he's loaded...either way something not quite right about him.
I keep going. Look behind me, he's still there. Cross the road. He crosses with me. As soon as I turn a corner, I sprint to my apartment complex and run into the coded gate and wait. He rocks up a minute later and stares at me through the gate. He just stares at me for a good 10 or so seconds then runs back the way he came.
No Party Favors Tonight
Had a friend who said we should go to this party he was invited to by a classmate of his. We ended driving out to it. We noticed the neighborhood was not too pleasant and sketchy. We saw that house had some lights on in backyard but kind of quiet for a party. I decided that we should not go since something felt really off.
Friend ended finding out that the classmate that invited him got robbed and threatened when he went to the party. It ended up being a fake party.
The Byes That Never Were
Years ago, I was staying the night at someone else's house, maybe an hour from where I lived. That night I was so tired, but I couldn't get to sleep. I was super anxious all night, which was very unusual for me, and I just couldn't relax. I came so close to just grabbing my things and driving home in the middle of the night several times, but I convinced myself not to.
Turns out I should have. If I'd gone home that night, I would have had the chance to say goodbye to my dad before he passed away that next morning. I still regret that to this day, and I promised myself that the next time I get a feeling like that I'll listen to it.
A Mother’s Intuitionperson in green jacket and black pants walking on brown grass field during daytimePhoto by Ali Kazal on Unsplash
When my mom was pregnant with my older sister, she and her family decided to go hiking in the mountains. On the day of the hike, she suddenly felt weird and uncomfortable. She stayed behind while the rest of her family went for the hike. Her family got lost, and this was long before cellphones. If it wasn't for my mom staying behind, no one would’ve noticed they were gone and so no one would’ve gotten help.
Road to Nowhere
I was offered a dream job at almost double my salary in a different city. It was only two hours away, but something told me not to take the job. I had a number of people tell me I would never have another opportunity like this, and my fear of leaving my hometown was holding me back. Two months after I turned it down, that division of the company was sold, and everyone in that department lost their job.
I would have been stuck in a new city with no friends or family nearby, and no job prospects.
When You’re the Responsible Adult
About 15 years ago, I left work early, like really early, for no real reason. I got home and all these kids were standing near my door (apartment complex next to a pond) and they were all staring at me and not saying anything. I went inside and dropped my bag. It wouldn’t stop weighing on me how weird it was, so I went back outside.
I spoke to them asking what was going on and one kid meekly asked if I could help his friend. A kid I didn't see was sitting on a curb surrounded by all the rest. They had all jumped the fence next to the pond, except he slipped and impaled the flesh of his inner thigh and got stuck, the kids helped pick him up off of it, but he was just sitting there bleeding everywhere with a bunch of meat hanging out. I got him treated and ambulance on the way, he came back a few weeks later with his family to thank me, said I saved his leg.
There were 6-7 kids who all just followed me with their eyes without any sound (no talking, no shuffling, no kid sounds) as I walked down the sidewalk, that’s what freaked me out. The kid in question was sitting on a curb in between them facing away so I didn’t notice him. When I asked what was going on, they parted like the Red Sea.
He was in shock and asked me if he needed help and then lifted his shorts leg. Everyone was eerily calm about the whole thing. However, once lights and sirens came, they scattered to the four winds. The railing was made of 1/2” steel tubing. The top had a horizontal runner about eight inches from the top of the picket. Each picket was four inches apart and the tops of each picket were pinched together flat then the edges were folded in, creating a spear but without any barbs.
This created a place to put your foot to hop the fence, provided you didn’t slip. So luckily it was smooth in and smooth out. What’s horrifying, and I never thought of until now, is the way that he had to fall to impale his thigh means he hung there with all his weight on it. Jesus.
I don’t know if it was a gut feeling or lucky coincidence, but either way, it was a really, really close call. I decided I should empty the garbage as I left the house for class, which added maybe 10 seconds to my journey as the bin was 10 feet from my front door. I began my walk to school. Just in front of me, some idiot from the third floor flat threw a load of glass out his window, smashing all over the path.
If I’d left ten seconds earlier—AKA if I’d left without taking out the garbage—it would’ve rained down on me.
Bouldering Is Dangerous
Went for a weekend away with a group from my local Scouting area, back in the ‘80s. I didn't know them all, went to make up the numbers and get some climbing/canoeing/caving done. We stayed in a rented house in the Peak District (UK). One evening, a few guys went out to try "bouldering"—climbing boulders 10 to 15 meters high.
I got there, took one look and said no, we have no climbing gear, that's high enough to die if you fall. I got the mickey taken, called "chicken," etc., so I left them to it and walked back. An hour later one guy fell 10 meters and split his skull open on the rocks below, killed instantly.
Stranger Dangerperson wearing hooded jacket walking in bridgePhoto by Paul Garaizar on Unsplash
I was maybe six years old and playing with a friend at the playground. An older man came and asked us if we would like to play at his private playground. I remembered my mum telling me to not interact with strangers, so I declined. I was sure as a kid that he had a private playground and was actually kind of mad at myself for not saying yes.
Years later, I was 25 and walked home alone from a club, being tipsy. That’s when it struck me. Suddenly, I remember this man from my childhood and it occurred to me what that really was. I see in the corner of my eye two guys behind me, one leaning on the wall, the other one just nodding and walking out of my perspective. Got chills like crazy.
All of a sudden, this dude locks me in his arms, trying to touch me. I said no, he didn’t stop. No one was around. So I said let’s just walk, because I was convinced that the other guy was just waiting as well. We walked, he held me super close to him. I asked him for his jacket because I thought I could run if he has to mess with his zipper.
He just grinned at me, held me even tighter and didn’t say a word. So I felt that I was running out of time, and there was still no other pedestrian in sight. So I relaxed my body on purpose while walking. He sensed it, stopped holding me so tight. I focused for 30 seconds and right at the moment when he looked back, I punched him as hard as I could on the side of his jaw.
He fell to the ground and I ran.
This happened almost 30 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was probably 8 or 9 at the time and had been at the store buying candy for the weekend with the girl from next door, she was one year younger than me. A car stopped and the man inside opened the passenger door and asked me and my friend to get in the car. He was picking us up for our parents, he told us.
I could not shake the feeling that something was wrong and remember thinking "this is what my parents were talking about!" I grabbed my friend’s hand, said that we lived in that house "right over there" and pulled my friend with me. Went to their door, rang the bell, went straight in and told the people living there what had happened.
Turned out I was right, we were about to be kidnapped.
Airline pilot here—warning, do not continue reading if flying makes you uneasy. One day we loaded up passengers and cargo and everything and we were ready to taxi. I noticed that the nose of the airplane seemed to be higher up than usual while we were sitting on the ground. I told my first officer about it and he agreed. We double checked the weight and balance and everything seemed to be right.
I decided to just taxi out towards the runway and see if the wheel struts would go back to their normal positions during taxi. Still felt weird to me. Something wasn't right. I told ground control we needed to go back to the gate. Called Ops and told them we're headed back because I think something isn't right with the weight and balance.
After we get back, I ask them to check how much ballast we have in the aircraft. It's verified on my sheet as 500lbs., but I have a feeling...Turns out, yep, they forgot to put it in the plane. So had we taken off, the center of gravity would have been out of whack—way past limits. It could have resulted in an airplane that was impossible to control. Just like that 747 that took off and had the load slide to the back.
That was a day that I was really pleased that I had so much experience flying to give me that feeling & that feeling could very well have saved my life along with others.
I used to date a girl who I would go see every night after I got off work, when I worked until midnight. After meeting, I would stay at her house until about one or two AM. Sometimes as I left her house, she would follow me in her car and stop at a nearby all-night grocery store. I always begged her not to go alone, but she always said she'd be fine.
Sometimes I would wait in the parking lot until she came back out and then we'd go our separate ways. Sometimes I wouldn't. One time I felt ill so as we left she said, "Just go straight home, I'll be fine, I always am." For some reason, I felt like that was the night I needed to be there, so I stayed, but I didn’t tell her. She thought I went straight home.
I was in the parking lot as she pulled in but she didn't see me. As she walked in, a shady looking dude was walking out. She ignored him but he looked back at her about three or four times. Then he gets to his truck and another guy is in there and they talk through the window for a minute looking back at the store a couple times. The second guy gets out of the truck, gets something out of the back of it then they both head back into the store.
I couldn't be sure they were going to do anything but I was not about to take a chance, so I go into the store too. I see them going past every aisle and then motion to each other like "there she is." So, I walk a bit faster to catch up. I turn into the aisle just as they are approaching her. They are looking at each other. From behind I yell "Hey!" They both turn, and so does my girlfriend.
I brush by them and give them a look and say "Hey guys." They nod awkwardly as my girlfriend says to me "What are you doing here?” I kiss her and make up some story about wanting to buy aspirin. The two guys leave. I never told my girlfriend that story, I don't know why. I don’t know what they were up to, but it wasn’t good.
Kill Em With Kindness
I have a story of what happens when you don’t listen to your gut—or at least, you listen to it a bit late. That day, my gut said “Don’t get into the car with this person you’ve just met.” I didn’t listen. He legit kidnapped me and drove me to a forest and tried to drag me out. My gut said to calm down and be nice to him. I basically talked my way out of the situation by being kind and stroking his ego.
I was able to convince him that he didn’t need to do this and that I’d be “his,” but he needed to let me go because my friend was waiting for me. She knew I was getting a ride and that if I didn’t show up soon, maybe we couldn’t “be together.” This guy was crazy but it worked and he drove me to where my friend was waiting. The entire time, I had to keep reassuring him that I wasn’t mad and that I was happy “he chose me”—gag.
Anyway, I got out safe and unharmed except for some bruises from when I first tried to fight him off. He spent a year in jail after that, and ended up going to jail for another crime right afterward.
Not Good With Rejection, Or Humanityred and black open neon light signagePhoto by Anna Rozwadowska on Unsplash
Worked as a Shot Girl at a pub. One night, I rejected someone who attempted to get my number. Not unusual and he didn't seem that bothered. The whole exchange wasn't strange to me. In the early hours after the bar closed, I went to leave through the back door into the car park like usual, when I saw the sensor light outside was on. Someone was standing just outside the door.
I felt uneasy so went out the front and asked one of the bouncers to walk me around the back to my car. As we rounded the corner, we spotted this guy lurking outside the door holding his belt like a makeshift garotte. When he saw us, he started screaming that I was a freaking shrew and I should die. He scampered off into the road and never came back.
Read, Aim, Fire!
I'm a firefighter. We got called out to a tree fire started by fallen power lines. We pull up in the truck, and I'm trusting that my driver and crew leader are doing their job and have good situational awareness. We get out of the truck, and we've parked next to a set of power lines (not fallen). It's a very windy night and I can see the lines swinging so I voice my concerns to my crew leader who says it'll be fine.
We get out hose out (risk of the tree fire catching onto a house outweighing potential risk of arcing plus the line disconnected when it fell), and I'm on the branch ready to start putting it out with 2 others near me when I get a chill. I look up to see the lines swinging violently and yell "everyone freaking move!” As the three of us sprint and dive out of the way we hear a thwip and crack, and, sure enough, the line we were under came loose and stayed connected to the power pole.
If I hadn't got that chill chances are, we would have had three fried firies.
Get Your Own
Not me but my best friend, who was driving to California from Arizona with her two-year-old for work (about 5 months ago). She stopped at a gas station and just got a weird feeling. She normally doesn’t lock her car when she pumps gas, but she decided to do it. During that process, a woman came up to her and started talking all nice and whatnot.
She got an uneasy feeling about it and heard a noise like someone trying to open a door. She turned around and saw the woman’s husband trying to get into her car to steal her baby. She told him to get the heck away from her car, and the man tried to play it off. She told them to screw off and got in her car to leave.
The couple got in their vehicle and followed her, tried to swerve her off the road and brake check her on the highway for a few miles. She was smart enough to call the cops (this was in Primm, Nevada btw), and they caught up to her and ended up arresting the couple. They had gotten multiple reports that day of issues like that.
The Longest Run
I was 13. The bus would take me home from school in 15 minutes, but I liked taking the one-hour walk home. While walking on a main road, a van pulled over some 100 feet away from me. It wasn't a family van, it was one of those utility, boxy-looking ones. The van door was open and a man was waving at me with both of his arms. I was too far away to hear what he was saying.
Usually, I love to help people, but something told me to keep walking. So I kept walking. I look back five minutes later and this guy is walking behind me. Relaxed pace. I'm not worried, but I walk a little faster. I look back maybe two or three minutes later and he's still walking, but closer, and waving his arms again. So I start jogging a little. Now he's jogging. Then I start running as fast as a I can, not stopping to look back.
At one point, I turned onto the next street and couldn't see him anymore. I was so cold with fear, out of breath, waiting for the intersection light to change. The light changed and I went back to walking, but I was out of breath. Five minutes later, I look back and I can’t believe my eyes. He's still following me. So I ran the last two minutes to my building, even though I didn't want him to see where I lived.
I ran into the building lobby, looked through the glass doors. He wasn't there. I pushed the elevator button, and went back to the glass door and saw him on the street far away, still walking. I've always tried to make sense of what he was going to do. This was a busy suburban area. Was he going to just stab me and run away? What did he want with me in particular? Did he just leave his van behind to get towed?
So many questions. So, so weird.
Voices in my Head
After a party many years ago, I was driving home at like four in the morning with my friend passed out in the passenger seat. I was driving fast down a steep hill that's like a half-mile long, at least. I was on autopilot, as I drive down that street every day. Suddenly, about a half a block from a major intersection, which I had a green light for, I heard a voice in my head.
It said these exact words: "You may want to slow down, because if you don't, you might lose your life." It was weird, because that's not really what my tone of voice of style of speaking is like. Anyway, I slowed down, and as I was entering the intersection, a car blew the red light at about 50-60mph, right in front of me. It was so close that I nearly threw up. I started shaking and punching my friend, yelling how I just saved our lives, He just groaned and went back to sleep. Jerk.
Depend on the Kindness of Strangerswoman holding her face in dark roomPhoto by Melanie Wasser on Unsplash
I was at a party for my boyfriend’s father but I had a headache that wasn't going away. I had been drinking, but I wasn't drunk. I was just feeling terrible. So I made my excuses and left to walk home alone, as I didn't want to ruin his night with his dad. It was a ten-minute walk, if that, from the pub to our house and it wasn't properly dark yet.
I walked down the street and passed a man sitting on a wall drinking a beer. A minute after I passed, I heard the bottle smash and then footsteps a little while back. Nothing unusual, it was a main road and there was another pub further along but my gut was screaming that something was wrong. I hurriedly walked back to the pub and stopped outside to ask the smokers for a light and a chat as I smoked.
That’s when I saw him pass me, and then stare at me from across the street for an uncomfortable amount of time. With my heart pounding, I asked a bouncer working the doors if he could order me a taxi. A few weeks later, while in the town center, I saw a mugshot of the same dude. He was wanted for assault.
Just in Time to Say Goodbye
This happened just this week. My grandma got diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. We caught it late so there wasn't much we could do. She was too old and weak for chemo, so we decided against that. Last Sunday I just had a gut feeling I had to fly out to visit her. So, I did that, got back on Wednesday. She passed away Friday, a few weeks earlier than the prognosis predicted.
I'm really glad I was able to see her one last time.
War Never Changes
Iraq in 2006. We were going to be inserted for 48hrs. It was 2200 and past curfew. As we snake our way in our armored trucks down from a main avenue and just before my truck makes the left, a man smoking a cigarette and I lock eyes, he flicks the cigarette in my trucks general direction and walks away from our convoy. I leaned towards the center of the truck to look out the front windows and say "Stuff’s about to go down."
The first two IEDs and shots were fired within seconds of me saying that. The ambush lasted for what seemed like hours, was only a few minutes.
A Blast From the Past
It was near Halloween time when my friends and I were telling ghost stories. My friend said she was going to tell a story about her parents' first date. She said she didn't like telling the story, since it was actually true, but we prodded her on. To cut to the chase, the parents had spent a nice, if awkward, first date together and around the time that they would have said "good night," the male in the situation—my friend's dad—suggested that they go for a midnight hike up Provo Canyon.
He apparently knew the place, since he had done a fair amount of rock climbing in the area. So the two drove up to the mouth of the canyon, got out of their cars and started hiking under just the light of the stars, since it was a new moon. At some point, the male starts getting a "bad feeling," since the pathway ahead, which would pass under some trees, would be dark, and because it was getting to be quite late.
He ignores the feeling and presses on. In later rehearsings of the story, the female would say that she had felt the same feeling at what was probably the same time, though she didn't know the trail like he did. A minute later, the feeling came back to the male. He ignored it again, and started walking a bit of the way into the trees when his foot hit something "soft" in the middle of the path.
Under the trees, it was too dark to see just what this soft thing was, and the feeling came back stronger than ever. Instead of finding out what his foot had bumped into, he and the female both agreed to hightail it out of there...Years later, after being married for some time, they were watching an interview with the serial killer, Ted Bundy.
In response to a question asking him to describe the time that he felt the closest to being caught, he explained about the night that he lured a girl into Provo Canyon, and had just killed her when he heard some people coming up the trail. He explained how he hid in the trees just in time, only to watch some guy walk right into the body, and for some reason, just turn around and walk away.
Time for a Detour
First month, I was a student at college; I was bored and lonely and decided to walk to my best friend's house across town at midnight. It was a walk I'd made several times with no issues, but this time when I got to the edge of the campus parking lots, I had a gut feeling hit me that I needed to go back to my dorm, NOW. I did, and the next morning a campus alert went out through email that around 12:30 that morning, a student had been attacked in the parking lot I'd have had to pass through.
Not All Rest is Easygirl wearing black vest raising two hands near green grass field during daytimePhoto by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash
About six years ago, my sister and her family were visiting. Her daughter—four months old at the time—was napping in the house while the adults were hanging outside. I went into the house to grab something and glanced over at my niece. She was limp and strange looking, like spaced out. It really freaked me out, so I picked her up, panicking a bit, and handed her to my brother-in-law.
By this time, she was back to normal, so we shrugged it off. I said something like "Oh I forgot how babies look when they sleep." Within 1-2 days, my niece started having 10 seizures a day. What I had witnessed was a seizure. That was the beginning of a multi-year nightmare of seizures, hospital visits, neurological testing, and many different types of anti-seizure meds.
She was diagnosed with a seizure disorder. Thankfully, the docs found meds that worked, her seizures went away, and she was eventually weaned off her medication. She has been seizure free for four years! Now she is a healthy, beautiful and happy little lady!
You Nearly Blue Your Life Away
A guy dyed blue came into the motel lobby at 1 am. In and of itself, not terribly unusual. Clubs get out, you see folks with body paint, foam, etc. But he just seemed "off." When he came up to the counter, I took a step back. Which is why his bowie knife hit my tie and not my neck. Slammed the fire door down, called the cops.
Wasn't difficult for them to find a bright blue guy (who got naked for some reason after I slammed the door) running around in the snow at 1 am.
Just Say No, Mmmkay
At a research institute, I walked into a mouse procedure/surgery room for a quick moment to grab something and leave. After walking out I felt, well to be honest, like I was a little high. There were three other people in that room, including 2 undergraduates so I got worried and went back inside to check things out. When I got back inside I asked if they were feeling ok, one of the undergrads turned to me and said she was fine, but was flushed and looked a little out of it.
So I went around to all the isoflurane chambers (odorless volatile liquid that KOs mammals at low doses and kills them at higher) looking for leaks. Sure enough, the gasket at the bottom of one of the chambers had failed and it was leaking out and immediately boiling into a gas, and filling the room. I told them their isoflurane was leaking, and the postdoc told me they were fine and that he uses that machine all the time.
He also pointed out that the isoflurane was in an air curtained biosafety cabinet and so even with the leak, they were protected. I called him an idiot because a biosafety cabinet recirculates air and doesn't evacuate it like a fume hood—which is what he should have been using. So I ignored him, propped open the door, and ordered the undergrads to get out of the room.
I then went to their lab manager and told her what I had found. Their lab manager came down like the wrath of God.
Crazy Step Mother
My father started publicly dating a woman shortly after my mother died—I later learned she's likely the woman he'd been having an affair with before she died. I liked her. One evening my father took me to one side and asked how I'd feel about him asking her to marry him. I got an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and felt nauseated.
I told my father I didn't want him to and he asked why as he thought I liked her. I explained that I did like her but had a bad feeling and he said: "that's just a feeling, they don't mean anything." He already had the ring and proposed straight away. I got really excited about the engagement, the wedding, moving house, and my impending little sister.
After the wedding, she changed. And when my half-sister was born, she went crazy. She abused me, my sister (my mother's child), and later, my half-sister (her own child). He only left her when my doctor told him something was clearly going on with her that was affecting my health. She was putting a substance that I'm intolerant to in my food and my father wouldn't believe me and would force me to eat whatever she made.
However, I couldn't get a doctor alone without her to tell them. My maternal grandmother told him if he didn't leave her she'd go for custody that he finally left her. He accused me of lying for the entire time leading up to that and has never asked me about any of my attempts to get help since.
Day Care Don’t
Posted this before...took my two babies to an in-home daycare run by a lovely woman. About nine days in, the woman’s teenage son was home when I picked up my kids. He gave me a super creepy vibe. Pulled the kids from the daycare and placed them elsewhere. Maybe 10 years later that kid shot two people then shot his mom.
Have Heart, Not a Heart Attackman wearing black crew-neck topPhoto by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash
Came back to work after a week off for Christmas vacation and immediately noticed something was off with my friend. I had no clue what it was, but I just knew was something was wrong with him, but I couldn't explain what it was. I kept asking him if he was alright, but he kept saying everything was fine. On the second day, he came up to me and asked me how to do something that I know he knew how to do; I had trained him on how to do it.
I became very concerned at this point. The third day was New Year’s Eve, so we only had a half day and he was working on a spreadsheet. End of the day came around and I took one look at it and I could have printed it out and called it modern art, that's how horrifying it looked. I called the boss over and he pulled him off of it which caused my friend to break down and start crying because he couldn't understand that he had done anything wrong.
I was moving to a new place over our day and a half off, so I simply told him that something was wrong with him and he needed to get some help. We came back in for one day on Friday and my friend wasn't there. I learned that he was in the hospital because of a heart attack. Later on, we learned that during the days leading up he was suffering from mini strokes and that all of my constant nagging about if he was alright ultimately led to him thinking that maybe there is something wrong with him.
So, he called a taxi to take him to the ER on New Year’s Eve where they immediately recognized that he was having a heart attack. A doctor later told him that if he had not gone to the ER when he did, he would not have woken up if he'd gone to sleep that night. Because of this, my friend says that I saved his life through the power of our friendship.
Not mine but my grandma's. We went camping at this one spot in the woods by a small creek every summer. One summer she gets this bad feeling and makes us pack up and we leave. Couple days later they end up finding a dead body right near our then-campsite.
Mom Knows When Something Is Wrong
My mom had one. I was there with my brother but we didn't believe her at the time. Three years ago, my brother, my sister and I were supposed to meet at mom's place for dinner at 7. My mom and sister are very close; her being the firstborn, the only girl and us being a Lebanese family. Anyway, they talk throughout the day quite a bit, daily.
Around 6:30 pm, my sister is not answering phone calls or texts. My brother and I think she's asleep or just doing whatever and it's nothing to worry about. By 7:15, still nothing from my sister and my Mom at this point is pretty much saying "Something is wrong here, I can just feel it." We still don't believe her but it's not her style to worry and she is really now worrying.
I call up her now ex-husband who was at a conference saying we haven't heard from my sister. It turns out neither has he. I asked if he knew her iTunes credentials so I could track her phone. Turns out she was at home. We called a friend, sent someone knocking at her door, and no answer. My mom started driving there and made the decision that we need to break into the house.
She texted her friends to kick the door down. They did and found my sister unconscious. She had a major stroke and a concussion. The aftermath was very, very difficult. I won't write a novel and be brief. Major stroke, concussion and required open heart surgery. Was told she may never talk and would likely be a vegetable and if we actually wanted to proceed with the surgeries.
We did. She's alive, she talks, she can walk with a cane and will at some point, walk without a cane. She lost everything on the left side of her body. The only part of her that may never come back is her left arm.
There Are Some Sick, Sick People Out There
Not me but my mom. When I was about ten years old I got invited to spend the night at my really good friend’s home. My mom said no. I begged her to let me go but she was adamant that I couldn't. She said she just didn't feel right about it and that no amount of pleading was going to change her mind. A few weeks later my friend’s dad was arrested for inappropriate child imagery.
After he went to trial it was found that he had also molested several young girls. He would have his daughter invite them over for a slumber party and then touch them when they went to sleep. If my mom hadn't trusted her gut feeling I could have been one of his victims.
Knowing What Is Best For Your Daughter
My oldest daughter (30-something) stopped by my work one day and introduced her new boyfriend. He seemed a little off to me, but I decided it was just "guy dating my daughter" and let it go. Later, he met my wife and I and she told me later that he seemed off to her, too. She has pretty good instincts about people, so we decided to investigate him a bit.
Typing his whole name into Google, the first result was a mugshot from a couple of years ago. The third was an active warrant. More searching resulted in finding three warrants from different counties, an extensive record (check deception, theft, driving while suspended, driving after a lifetime suspension, and driving while a habitual traffic offender), and a brand-new marriage license for him and my daughter. They were going to get married later that week.
We, of course, told her about him, but she insisted that he'd already told her about all of that and had "taken care of it." We emailed links to her roommate, who showed her, but she didn't have any luck talking her out of the relationship. They were in love, and everything would work out OK in the end.
We sent in an anonymous tip, and he was arrested the next day at her apartment. My daughter then found out that he'd been lying to her about pretty much everything. He had entangled her in a business he was trying to start that mostly involved her financing things for him, because his credit was trash due to records for bounced checks and theft. She's still working to untangle herself from that.
He is still in jail, and, according to her lawyer, will be for at least two years depending on what happens in two other counties.
Men can be a mystery.
They like to hide as much as they can about themselves.
In truth, the rest of the world already suspects most of whatever behaviors they're trying to bury.
But often, it's so healthy to unburden yourself whenever you can.
Isn't it also comforting to know we aren't alone on this?
You do that? ME TOO!
Redditor Miguenzo wanted all the men out there to make some confessions, so they asked:
"What is something all guys do but will never admit to doing?"
Going to the bathroom sitting down more often than you think.
That's a guy truth I'll admit to.
I like to be comfortable.
PlaytimeU Know Flirt GIF by WimbledonGiphy
"I play with my penis more than any other object, by far."
"And not even in a sexual way. Sometimes just flopping it from left to right while watching TV."
"This is what my wife had a hard time understanding. Just cause I'm messing with it, doesn't mean I'm aroused. I'm just fidgeting and that's my object."
"Imagine your entire life with a girl you just met."
"Did this this weekend. The most beautiful woman working as a barmaid I have ever seen."
"However, I know it's annoying having someone hit on you while working and working in a bar she must get it all the time. so I kept quiet ordered my drinks and didn't bother her. She remembered what I was drinking by the 3rd drink. that was enough for me. LMAO."
Think About It
"Daydream about insane scenarios that will never happen where you're the main hero that swoops in to save the day. Common examples include things like thinking you could figure out how to land an entire airplane in an emergency, thinking about 'What happens if there's a robbery and I stop the bad guy,' thinking about saving someone from a burning building, thinking you could save someone's life if there's a random medical emergency, etc."
Spoons and Forks
"Not sure if this is for all guys, but my BF will never ever admit that he prefers to be the little spoon 😭."
"I’m over a foot taller than my wife, so I often joke that 'she’s my better third.' But I HATE being a big spoon. Nothing makes me happier in my marriage like being a little spoon, curled up, while she runs her fingers through my hair… Just thinking about is releasing the endorphins. We will hit 29 years together in a couple of months, and it not only never gets old, it gets better with age."
Pick Awayjason clarke flirting GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Nose picking is more common than anyone will admit."
"Nose picking is probably the most efficient way to get uncomfortable buggers out of your nose."
Ugh. Nose pickers. Stop it. Just stop it!
WhoopsUh Oh Oops GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"Morning pees sometimes go sideways and there's annoying cleaning up to do."
"Sniff our armpits to be sure they don't stink or we enjoy the smell."
"This one is def gender neutral. I've had several girlfriends be embarrassed that I 'caught them' smell-checking themselves. As if they thought it was some secret weird thing they do and nobody else did. LOL."
"When I get nervous I stick my hands under my arms and then I sniff my armpit smell off my fingers and it calms me back down."
Inch by Inch
"Measuring their penis. Yeah, some will admit it. But some refuse to admit it."
"I don’t need a tape measure to know what disappointment looks like."
Haven't done it in a while. At this point, I'm too afraid it's gotten smaller. If that's possible."
"I have honestly never measured my d*ck. Girls I dated did. The numbers really mean nothing to me. I only cared if it was too small. Once girls told me it wasn't, I was satisfied."
I Feel Pretty
"Being friendlier to attractive women."
"Attractive women are scarier for many, so a lot of us probably come off as aloof or rude whatever towards them because we just kind of ignore them (actually are just too nervous to address them directly)."
"This isn't such a thing for me now that I'm in my 30s and have a long-time committed partner. No pressure... lol. But I know when I was a younger guy in the dating pool, the very attractive women were terrifying... lol."
"Attractive people actually get treated better in most areas of life in general. It’s called Pretty Privilege. Attractive people are trusted more easily, looked up to more, invited to more things, talked to more, can get a raise easier, and obviously can date easier."
At least once
"If you're single; Having feelings/Attraction to almost every female friend you've got. Doesn't have to be strong feelings. Doesn't have to be romantic. But you've thought about it. At least once. Maybe three times."
"Definitely not universal. This stopped happening to me after I started and finished one major relationship."
"You develop a sense for what you actually want -- and how much more valuable friendship can be than any random romance."
"Also, as a straight guy, having uncomplicated friendships with multiple women is a great way to just get out in life, meet people and situations you never would've otherwise, and not bog down your own psyche. Really elevated my 20s."
Underneathwicked GIF by Ice CubeGiphy
"Kicking ice cube under the fridge when falls."
"Gotta feed those shadow critters."
I love the ice cube kick.
I think it's gender universal.
We've all heard our fair share of conspiracy theories, like Big Brother watching us, or the Earth being flat, or birds not being real (seriously, what is that about?).
We've even seen some theories get confirmed over the years, like our mobile devices "always" listening to us, though some remain unconvinced about the purposes behind that fact.
But there are some conspiracy theories out there that are far more unsettling than others, and some people have some very good reasons for why they believe in them and are deeply terrified by them.
Ready to hear some theories, Redditor sublimefan123 asked:
"What's the scariest conspiracy theory you believe is 100% true?"
But Where's the Lie?
"Octopi are aliens, and you can't convince me otherwise."
"Those motherf**kers came from a meteor or something. Their brain development rate compared to all other species is off the charts."
"Right? Name me ONE other motherf**kier that has eight different brainlets hanging out in their thinky-feely tentacles. That s**t's wild."
"Samuel L. Jackson would LOVE this conversation."
The Mafia Makes the Best Pillows
"The excessive number of mattress stores in cities; often within close proximity to each other. Money laundering fronts for the mafia is a distinct possibility."
"In reality, it's due to a certain type of marketing technique."
"A lot of times, people won't drive to multiple mattress stores. They'll just drive to one. However, if the other mattress store is right next door, they are more likely to check it out and see if they can find something better, comfier, at a better price."
"So you usually see them grouped together. You'll see the same with auto dealerships."
"Says the mafioso!!!! Caught you!"
Educating Future Laborers, Not Individuals
"US education system knowingly underfunded to maintain a large unskilled labor force."
"Originally this made sense as we needed people to work the world's largest breadbasket and mine raw materials. Now those jobs are highly mechanized and automated."
"Combine this with a shift to main US exports being tech- and chem-based, and our intentionally woeful education system is coming back to bite us."
"Students aren't being taught how to be self-sustaining individuals. They're being taught how to memorize, to forget, and to serve."
A Voluntary Trend
"'Throwback Thursday' or '#tbt' just appeared one day out of the blue, with the distinct goal of being a silly internet craze to post pictures from the past and compare it to modern-day photos."
"But I believe it was a project created by three-letter United States federal government organizations to encourage large portions of the population to post weekly photos of their past and present to enhance their aging and genetic algorithms."
"It would be hard to get access to everyone's old photos unless they had physical access to everyone's houses and snuck into each house to make copies of said photos. Why do all that when you could make it a fun new trend and let the people voluntarily give you the photos en masse?"
Distractions in the Media
"Insane wackjob conspiracies purposefully get propagated to detract from actual shady s**t that goes on."
"What's more? It f**king works."
"If you see someone even mention something that might be a conspiracy, that person is automatically determined to be a lunatic. Dangerous when you consider just how corrupt government, military, and corporations are."
Let the Women Have Their Pockets
"Big purses... I think that pocket-book companies have strong-armed, bought, or convinced women's clothing companies to make pockets ineffectual so that purses remain relevant."
"To add onto this, tech companies have bought into big purses and that's why phones have gotten continuously larger, so they can't fit in pockets no matter what."
"Seriously, though, I think the true reason why pockets for women's pants are so ineffectual is that women's clothing is selling a specific body type (slim) that protruding hips would go against."
"This really needs to be talked about more. Not only does it set a standard for women to have to look a certain way, but it also sends the message that women should ignore their own comfort or needs in order to conform enough to be attractive."
Gut Health and Mental Health
"Food quality is intentionally low to increase the "need" for medication & supplements. Adequate health care is unaffordable to keep the workers in the ACA gap from living long enough to benefit from the social security that they have contributed to for their whole working lives."
"The food we have been eating in the United States is a huge part of the mental illness going on today."
"I started eating 'cleaner,' and I am not perfect, but I notice such a tremendous change in my energy and overall being for the positive."
"100%, it is now being accepted and studied that our gut is directly connected to our brain and has a huge impact on mental health."
The Unusual Rich
"I firmly believe rich people (given the few I've interacted with) think way, way differently than normal people. That shouldn't be surprising given the fact that they have enough money and probably power to basically do whatever they want and nobody will stop and say, 'Not enough money in the world that I should let you.'"
"They live with far fewer boundaries than most of us."
No More Dentist Appointments
"Scientists have found a way to protect our teeth from plaque and cavities years ago but because of the lobbying money, they have been stopped from commercializing it."
Pluto Held a Grudge
"We live in a plutocracy."
"That's impossible, Pluto's not even a planet anymore."
"Why do you think they demoted it to begin with?"
Passing the Test
"Remember when we redirected that asteroid last year as a test, called DART? Yeah, I don't think that was a test."
"It doesn't matter, though. I'm glad it worked."
A Troubling Trade
"That Reagan conspired with the Revolutionary Iranian government to not free US hostages until and unless he was elected in 1980."
"The Iranian hostage crisis was very damaging politically for Carter, who was a very likable and decent man. Americans sitting in Iranian jail cells severely eroded Carter's political position going into the 1980 election, and Reagan knew it."
"The hostages were released on the very day that Reagan took office, 20 Jan. 1981, literally, just MINUTES after he was sworn in. To this day, Iran has offered no formal explanation."
"I wouldn't say 'believe' as it's more highly suspect that it's true:"
"The American political system has one party with two sides. One side placates the populace while making as little change as possible. When people get fed up with that side they vote in the other, who rushes in pro-one percent policy and other things that further consolidate power away from the populace."
"That way we are always taking one step forward but three steps back."
The Uno Reverse Card
""Questions like this get posted online by Feds so they can aggregate popular or new conspiracies. (This is a sarcastic comment but also... not.)"
"I think about this sometimes. Create bulls**t online just to see which groups are the most susceptible, or post stuff like this to get new ideas of what to push."
They're All We Have...
"No one is secretly in charge from the shadows. The politicians we have are actually the leaders of the world and are genuinely what people voted for."
"There are few things scarier than that."
Whether or not we choose to believe in these theories, it's clear why they would be terrifying to those who choose to believe in them.
But also, some of these arguments are pretty compelling, and it's equally understandable how a person could come to believe some of these theories.
Conspiracy theories don't all have to be about bird props and witch hunts, after all.
Valentine’s Day is a day of love and romance, but not for everyone. For some, Valentine’s Day is a day for broken hearts, breakups and blowups. Workers and patrons at restaurants and bars have a front-row seat to some of the most awkward, abysmal and just plain awful Valentine’s Day moments, where attempts at love don’t always have a fairy tale ending.
Three’s A Crowdstage door band and crew onlyPhoto by seabass creatives on Unsplash
I used to be a professional musician and the four-piece band I was in got booked for a Valentine’s Day event in a local bar. The guitarist invited his girlfriend down so they could be together on the night. What he hadn't counted on was his WIFE getting the night off work and coming to the show too as a Valentine’s surprise.
Everything was fine for the first set of the night. Then the problems began when both the girlfriend and the wife met in the band room backstage. Most of the band escaped the obvious row that was coming and waited by the bar for the second set. What we saw next was the most outrageous show of a woman’s scorn anyone has ever seen!
The wife ran onstage and began trashing his guitars and all his pedals, leads, and amp. No one dared to stop her. She was rightly angry. Shortly after she left the stage, the girlfriend had her turn, destroying whatever was left of his gear. Between both cheated women, they caused around $2,000 worth of damage to his set up. Needless to say, we played the second set as a three-piece, but it was quite a show!
At the beginning of the evening, a man at our restaurant gave me a ring to bring out to his table with dessert. The couple began arguing before they even ordered and ended up screaming at each other in the restaurant. My manager made me ask the guy, as discreetly as I could, if he still wanted the ring with the dessert. It was that bad.
I didn't want to, but I asked. Big. Mistake. He then started to scream at me that of course he still wanted the ring. He was right, after all, it wasn't my business. So I brought out the ring. She said, "Are you serious?" and left. Then the man screamed at me again when I wouldn't let him chase after her and leave without paying.
In the end, the guy just threw the money on the table with a huge tip, but I think he just gave what he had and left. He had made such an insane scene that we had to give free desserts to the tables next to them to make up for ruining their evening. After the service, I told my manager I was never questioning a client's request again.
One Ring To Fail Them All
There was a couple seated a few places away from us. They sat far enough away so that we couldn't hear the conversation, but it was obvious that they were arguing. The waiter did his spiel on the set tasting menu and handed out a beverage list. The guy orders a bottle of vino for both of them and she interrupts with, "I'm good I'll just have water."
They continued over a very uncomfortable meal, during which he kept asking stuff. She'd respond with increasingly annoyed no's. The waiter returns and notices that appetizers hadn't even been touched yet. He tops off her water and his drink, then asks if everything was tasting alright. He finishes with an, "I'll give you guys some more time to enjoy."
She was now loudly enough that we could understand her now. "I can't keep doing this with you." She angrily forks into her appetizer and finishes just in time for the entree to arrive. The arguing continues, and the guy is looking increasingly nervous. Suddenly, he gets down on one knee. She said, "Oh God, no." He takes her hand to put the ring on it.
She snatches her hand away like he's lava. He still wasn’t reading the signals and said, "Will you do..." She bursts into tears. Everyone in the entire restaurant, who didn’t really understand the context of the situation, sighed an audible "Awww!" She said, "I can't believe you would even ask after what you did. I told you I needed space. I don't even know if I can trust you anymore."
After that, things were kind of a blur. I think she threw a couple of $20s on the table, then ran out. He stayed on the ground, still holding up the ring like he wasn't done proposing yet. The waiter returned with one of those sweet lava cakes topped with a little "She said yes!" thing. It was absolutely excruciating from beginning to end.
Wing And A Prayer
A couple comes in and sits down in my section. I walk over just as the lady stands to go to the restroom and grab their drink orders. The lady goes to the bathroom and the gentleman says he knows what they want for appetizers. He orders boneless wings in two sauces. I run off to fetch their drinks and put their order in.
A couple of minutes later I'm returning with their appetizer. By this point, the lady had returned to the table. I set the basket down and she stares at it with surprise. "What's this?" I reply, "It's the appetizer that was ordered. Is it okay?" This woman turns to her partner and proceeds to loudly and thoroughly chew him out. How dare he order wings for an appetizer when he knew she wanted wings for dinner!
She runs on and on about how stupid he was for ordering wings first and I could just see the poor guy curl in on himself and slowly die inside. I stated I would give them a few more minutes and hurried away. The dinner was very tense and awkward after that. They barely spoke to me and I swear didn't utter another word to each other.
I felt so bad for the guy because he ordered wings since she obviously must have made it clear she wanted them and got torn a new one for it.
I went into the bathroom at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day and made an...interesting discovery. Not only was there a man in the woman's washroom, he was down on one knee, sobbing as he proposed to a woman in a bathroom stall. She said no.
Silent Nightperson sitting in front of brown wooden tablePhoto by Ant Rozetsky on Unsplash
I witnessed one of the most awkward dates on Valentine's Day from a table that sat across from us. Both the guy and girl were on their phones the entire night, when the waitress came to get their food order neither even looked up at her to order. I was close enough to them where I would be able to hear their conversation.
Not a word was ever said. The girl at one point abruptly stood up and left (me thinking she was going to ditch the guy) but she came back and sat down. Again no exchange of words, not even a " where did you go?" That couple finished before us, and when the bill came they both awkwardly stared at it and didn't touch it.
The waitress came back 10 minutes later to check on them and said something like " I'll come back when you are ready" with the most uncomfortable smile on her face. Finally, the guy just takes the book bill thing and puts his card in. They leave.
Love Hits The Brakes
I've worked in restaurants for 14 years, so you know my worst Valentine's Day story is going to be a doozy. One time, I had a guy ask me to help him bring the ring and champagne after dinner so he could propose to his girlfriend. Being a woman and wanting to witness the romance, I hid around the corner so I could kind of peek at them.
They were lovey-dovey all through dinner and everything seemed good and I fully expected her to say yes when he asked. She didn’t. In fact, the woman did not react well at all. She told him no and that she was planning on breaking up with him. She added the only reason she was on this date with him is that he said he bought her something special for Valentine's Day.
She thought he was going to buy her the car she asked him for, and she was going to dump him next week. Then she said since you didn't get the car, she's dumping him now and she left! The guy was devastated! I felt so bad for him. I will remember her for the rest of my life because how could I not? What a greedy woman.
We had a classic of a couple coming in all dressed up and out for their romantic dinner, but as the meal went on they gradually got tenser and their muttered argument slowly became very loud. Walking back over to refill drinks or take plates seemed to make it even worse, but I couldn't just leave their (very small) table covered in the stuff.
By dessert, WWIII had broken out, and the evening ended with the guy getting a bowl of chocolate cake and ice cream emptied over his head. I still have no idea what they were arguing about, but the poor guy just sort of shoved a load of money on the table and ran out of there after his partner.
I used to work at a very local, family-owned, pizza place. It was packed and we only had two counter girls (myself and my girlfriend, whose dad owned the restaurant). We had a special on these really cute heart-shaped pizzas. One couple ordered one of them and my girlfriend brought it out, but got bumped because it was so crowded.
When she dropped the pizza it broke clean in half which I have to admit was super weird because it was sliced into eighths. The girl who ordered the pizza had a zodiac tattoo and was wearing a bunch of crystals. She got up immediately, pointed at the pizza and started yelling about how it was a sign and stormed out of the store after breaking up with him. We think he dodged a bullet.
Flowing With Emotion
A woman was eight months pregnant. A guy brings her in for Valentine's Day and has the mariachi band sing their love song. He pulls out the expected ring and she says yes. Things looked perfect! Only spicy Mexican food is perhaps not the best choice when your eight months pregnant. She hurriedly shuffled to the restroom five times. The fifth, she...didn't quite make it.
It's a tiny community, so I met them years later at a wedding party. I walked up and introduced myself. I mentioned I had met them years ago. "I was there years ago when y'all got engaged. The emotions were just... flowing that night?" The husband laughed until he cried, the poor wife just covered her face in shame.
Living Largeperson holding black smartphone in carPhoto by Jonathan Cooper on Unsplash
I used to work the drive-through at Burger King and I overheard this conversation on Valentine's Day while taking a car's order. Girl: “Get me a #3.” Guy: “It's Valentine's Day baby, you can supersize it!”
Do Or Dine
I was a waiter at The Pasta House. At this time, another server was pregnant and trying to cover as many shifts as possible before she had the baby. In February, she asked if she could work Valentine's Day for me and I said sure. Dinner reservations fell through for my date and me so we decided to see if I could get a table at the restaurant where I worked.
I walked in the door only to see that they were absolutely slammed. The place was FULL of customers. As I came in, my manager said, "Thank God you got my message. She we went into labor and we need you to take tables." I told them I wasn't there to work, but to go on a date. My boss was so mad that I didn't get to work that he fired me. On Valentine's Day!
Dress For Unsuccess
My wife and I were out for Valentine's day and the couple next to us were having a breakup dinner. Oh, and it got worse. They were breaking up right before their impending wedding. She was in an early 90's prom dress. He was in a suit jacket and tie. She was loaded and getting loud about losing the deposit for the reception hall. She finally took a swing at him and the host escorted them both out.
Her poofy dress knocked over a couple of drinks on the way out. What an emotional rollercoaster.
I worked as a hostess at a busy higher-end restaurant. I was working at the front door with my friend. The place was packed and the waitlist was extremely long. A woman came in by herself and was a little upset to have to wait for a table. Since she was only a party of one, we found a space for her at the bar while she waited. It was about an hour wait for a table. While sitting tight for a table, this woman proceeded to get completely wasted.
She kept coming up to us and asking about her table and we kept updating her about the time. While she was standing there, a group of people came in and we sat them right away because they had reservations. She then started yelling at us and dumped her drink on my friend's head. The manager did not kick her out. We still had to accommodate her.
Ex’s and Oh’s
I've seen a doozy or two in my time as wait staff at El Nonno's. The worst one is when my girlfriend came in with my best friend. I thought they were there to surprise me. Nope, this was their way of telling me that they're dating each other now. And I was stuck as their server. But this pales in comparison to when they visited the restaurant the next time.
So my now ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend came in again and had their wires completely crossed. My ex-girlfriend thought she was going to get a marriage proposal, but my ex-friend came to the restaurant to come out of the closet and confess his love for me. Then three was the time my boyfriend and my former boss came in together, and I naively thought this was a surprise.
It turns out they both forgot I worked there and came in to have an affair. My ex-boss was cheating on his wife, and my boyfriend was cheating on me. That restaurant was insane.
Insult To Injuryman kneeling in front of womanPhoto by Ben White on Unsplash
I was eating in a restaurant on Valentine’s Day and saw this guy kneel to propose. We were all happy for them until the girl said no. She used some lame excuse, something along the lines of, “Mike, I just don’t think that you’re the one, you know? Poor Mike is all sad and gets up to leave. He comes back two minutes later to get his wallet and sees her doing something shocking.
Literally minutes after turning down a proposal, this girl is talking to the waiter at the restaurant and, get this, swapping numbers with him. Mikey grabs some random couples’ drink and throws it on the floor yelling about their year-long relationship ending. He then stormed off and she just grabs the nearest guy and jams her tongue down his throat.
A Bad Reaction
As a bartender, I saw a guest in the restaurant throw up on his steak not even a minute after it was placed in front of him. His date kept surprisingly calm for that scenario.
One of our favorite regular customers brought in her boyfriend for the first time and in her excitement, she bumped into a table and knocked someone’s cup off, which isn’t bad but in her haste to pick up the cup she hit her head on the corner of the metal table and cut her forehead open. It looked like a horror movie scene.
We cleaned her up and gave them a stack of free food cards because she’s awesome and we love her.
Yesterday in the grocery store I worked at, an angry couple came in right at 11:59 p.m., and tried to buy some booze after midnight. Our machines won’t let us do that after midnight. The couple got angry at each other and kept calling each other names in front of me. Finally, she says: “I’ve had it! I hate you anyway! I’m dumping you!” Guy: “You aren’t hot anyway!” Neither bought anything and scurried off.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Not Using His Noodle
So, I had some guy who couldn't understand the concept of ravioli. He kept asking if we served "hollowed out spaghetti" (his words) and stuffed it with lobster. I said no, but we did use pasta. He kept reiterating that he wanted pasta. It finally dawned on me, "Sir, do you think that spaghetti is the Italian word for pasta?"
His date was unimpressed, but I finally get him down for an order of lobster ravioli, even though he still seemed unaware of what he was ordering. After he got his food, ate one of the ravioli, he said to me, like I was the dumbest guy on the planet, "Bro, all you had to do was tell me that they were Boyardee’s. I know what those are."
Material Girla necklace with a ring on top of itPhoto by Robin Edqvist on Unsplash
I was just getting off of work around 3 p.m. so I headed to do some grocery shopping and I saw a guy looking frantically through his shopping bags so I asked if he needed help with something. He confessed that he had bought a Wal-Mart necklace for his girlfriend because she told him if she didn't get something expensive she would leave him.
He had purchased it, but he had taken his eyes his bags for a moment and when he checked his bags again, the necklace was gone. He told me he had just been laid off and didn't have the heart to tell her no. I felt about an inch tall, helping him try to find a cheap necklace, knowing that no matter how good a guy or how bad a circumstance, some people are so materialistic that someone giving their all is still not enough.
I hate Valentine's day, I wasn't single last night, but boy I feel heartbroken for that guy.
Ring Of Fire
I worked at a fine dining restaurant years ago. A middle-aged guy came up to me, handed me a gorgeous sapphire and diamond ring and asked me to have the pastry chef include it with his companion's dessert. The chef found beautiful blooms to decorate her dessert plate and placed the ring in the middle of one. Her reaction, however, wasn’t what anyone expected.
She saw the ring, took it out of the flower, and placed it on the table. Then, she picked up her fork and started to eat her dessert without saying anything at all. The ring must have been an extravagant apology on his part and she was having none of it. I was tempted to say that if she didn't want the ring, I'd take it off her hands!
A Messy Breakup
I bartend. I'm assuming this couple was on a date. They just ordered their food. In less than 10 minutes of their date, I saw the girl take a drink and throw it on the guy. It hit the people behind him, the walls, and it soaked the floor too. She immediately walked out in tears. The guy's face as he just sat there soaked was indescribable. It was the most movie-like break up I've ever seen happen in real life.
So the pizza place I work for cuts all the pepperoni pizzas into hearts and we had to make about 450 of those, plus 250 more pizzas, in four hours. Our slogan is “Take and Bake”, so we make the pizzas and you take them and bake them at home. Several times, we had people get their pizzas at the end of the line and go “It’s not cooked.” Deadpan, my coworker looked at them and said “Yes.” to every single one of them.
Also, I took a phone call, and I said “When will you be coming to get your pizza?” and she goes, “Actually I’d like it delivered.” Needless to say, we didn’t deliver it, and she hung up.
Last year I worked at a high-end sweets shop. Everything is top-notch as advertised, it was what people were willing to do for it that scared me. Chocolate covered strawberries? $50 per box of four. We couldn't keep them in stock, and more than a few sweaty husbands begged us to make more and throw them in any container we had.
One guy walking in on Valentine's morning offered to pay us double, even without the fancy romantic packaging (we didn't take it). We had also sold a big embroidered heart-shaped box for nearly $100. One guy asked us how much it cost, left, and came back later with his friend. He'd asked him for a loan. To buy V-Day chocolates. Relationships are wild.
Abrupt Endingman standing and holding platePhoto by Louis Hansel on Unsplash
One of my friends is a server at a fancy restaurant in my city. He said that on one Valentine's Day, he walked by a table and heard the boyfriend say, "Well, once again, I'm sorry to disappoint" in a really nasty tone. Things got real awkward and quiet for another 20 minutes, then the couple got their check and quickly walked out.
Trying To Impress
We had a reservation for a kid’s birthday party on the bus (our restaurant has an old-school bus fitted with retro tables). A preteen couple comes in and the guy gets mad because we told him we couldn’t seat them on the bus due to the reservation. He tried to force his way up after being told repeatedly no. Pretty sure he was trying to impress his date, who watched this all unfold and looked completely mortified.
This One Is Sad...
My friends and I met up at this big food court to hang out. One of my pals got there an hour early and saw this one dude with a bouquet and a giant teddy bear. Almost five hours later we came back to the food court for lunch and the guy was still there with no date. He left shortly after and we watched him make a call, throw the flowers at the ground, pick them back up, and leave.
One Man’s Trash...
A few years ago my family and I bought some ice cream and when we went to throw the wrappers in a garbage can on the street, we found a perfectly intact and nice bouquet inside. We got the bouquet out, and we could tell it had been thrown out recently. There was a card but it only had the name of the florist on it. So we took it with us.
We had to meet with my grandma and her boyfriend right after, and they were like ''Why are you bringing us such a nice bouquet out of the blue like that?'' and we were just laughing as we just picked it up from a garbage can. We told them the story and they kept the bouquet for a week.
This One Takes The (Cheese)Cake
My wife and I went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch, in a bid to avoid the crowds. Next to us, a dude got down on one knee and proposed (yes, in a Cheesecake Factory). The waitress was filming it, people were watching, she saw the ring and started crying, he smiled, and all looked good. Oh, how wrong we were. When my wife and I left 20 minutes later, she was still crying, covering her face, and he wasn’t smiling anymore.
I couldn’t hear well enough to know what they were talking about, but they kept speaking in low voices. Didn’t look good.
Forget Me Notgreen and red labeled plastic packPhoto by Franki Chamaki on Unsplash
I walked into a grocery store which was pretty packed with frantic-looking Valentine’s Day shoppers. I walked in at the same time as another man with a confused look on his face and I heard him say out loud to himself, “Man, the store is pretty packed for a Friday evening.” Then, we both turn the corner and are met with all of the last minute flower arrangements and Valentine’s cards layout.
I see the man completely freeze and again out loud, he says “Oh.. no... no no no! Today is Valentine’s Day? Oh no!” As he quickly runs to the chocolate section, joining the rest of the panic-stricken dudes with the same looks on their faces. Hope those dudes are all still alive this morning.
I worked a 14-hour shift then wanted to meet up with my boyfriend afterwards to give him his Valentine’s Day gift. He gave me an address and when I showed up, my jaw dropped. I realized it’s a sleazy club (he did not tell me what it was and only gave me an address that I used to call an Uber). So I went inside, balloons and gift in-hand, I found him, dropped off his gift and Uber’d back home alone.
Bad News And Good News
I had a man who was verbally inappropriate at his wife at my table, and I don’t mean talking over her and being rude. I mean saying things like, “What do you think you’re doing you stupid bimbo?” and, “I’ll give you $36,000 to get out of here right now you piece of slime.” I had four different tables complain about them and we eventually asked them to leave.
I’ve never seen anything like it before, at one point the guy went to the restroom and I went up to the wife and asked if I could help in any way and if she was alright. I’ve never wanted to assault someone in my life more than that piece of garbage. We also had something really good happen when our chef and her girlfriend got engaged at the end of the night! It kind of balanced it out.
I ran the front desk to a hotel solo one Valentine’s Day. It was utter madness. We sold out with reservations, and there was a solid stream of locals coming in expecting to get rooms and then arguments with their disappointed dates when they were informed that we were booked solid. There were complaints from travellers just passing through and an older couple staying for a sports event about "loud amorous noises" emanating from rooms near theirs.
The phones were ringing off the hook from people looking to book Jacuzzi rooms when everyone in the city had been reserved in advance. There was a ridiculously inebriated guy getting dropped off in a taxi expecting to get a room after we'd sold out. He was irate and yelling, "What am I supposed to do now? Go sleep in the streets?"
Someone thought it would be a great idea to dump a trail of glitter and rose petals down an entire hallway leading to their room. And this was just the 3-11 p.m. shift. R.I.P. third shift and the morning housekeepers.
When I was a server/bartender we had a frequent escort come to our restaurant. It was pretty obvious she was an escort as this restaurant was in a wealthy neighborhood and she would be with a different man every time. Once when I served her she said to me I'd make good money if I joined her company. So on Valentine's Day, she came in…
She was wearing big, gold hoop earrings, chest hanging out of a floral dress and fake designer bag. She sat down with an elderly man who I figured was married because he was wearing a wedding band. Anyway, long story short she was doing something inappropriate to the man under the table. The manager kicked her out and she never came back
McLovea mcdonald's sign and a mcdonald's sign on a cloudy dayPhoto by Jonas Augustin on Unsplash
I was in McDonald’s and I see two people at a table having a Valentine’s Day date with a red tablecloth and candles with fancy napkins and their order number card on the table. Honestly, props to them. Looked fun.
Recipe For Disaster
One man, one very angry woman, one very full glass of merlot, and one impeccably white button-up shirt. You can guess what happened.
Had a woman come into a fine dining restaurant and tell me she was allergic to allium (garlic, shallots, etc), processed sugar, gluten, and salt. It's a four-course prix fixe menu for $150/person. Her partner had an excellent meal and such a wonderful experience. She essentially had crispy rice, steamed broccoli and cauliflower, pepper rubbed Arctic char, and skipped dessert. She did not have a wonderful experience.
I would have felt bad for her, but we go out of our way to give them the menu ahead of time, call to confirm that you're okay with the reservation and menu, and approve that the $150 price was legit. But she just kept throwing a stink because she must have expected us to create an entirely new menu just for her and it should have been just as amazing as the other food our 250 guests were eating. In the end, I charged her full price and got that 20% tip.
A note for those who don't restaurant often: Don't assume you're special on a holiday where everyone thinks they're special. You're not that special.
I was at a fast-food place alone on Valentine's Day because I'm a lonely guy. The dude in front of me straight up asked the cashier if the cook could make the best looking burger possible because he forgot he was cooking for his wife and wanted to pass it off at home as though he made it for a romantic dinner. Oh, buddy.
We're in the last hour of service, but we've about emptied out. A couple sat at the bar for about 30 minutes before ordering potato skins two minutes before closing and then asked me to remake them twice. They gave me some dirty looks when I put all my 'go home' stuff near them, so I said, "I'm not sure if anyone told you, but it's my Valentine's day too".
Phone Failselective focus photography of person using smartphonePhoto by freestocks on Unsplash
A guy and girl come in. They order food and everything seems all good, then the girl leaves her phone and goes to the bathroom. The guy picks up her phone and starts snooping and the girl comes back and catches him red-handed. She is understandably angry and asks for their food to go. When she gets it she socks him in the chest and leaves. He paid for everything and quietly left immediately after.
Love Requires Patience
I work at a pizza place, where we served heart-shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day. They took twice as long to put in a pan, and nobody was allowed to order ahead of time. Online orders weren’t going through properly so we had some customers waiting for their pizza for a solid 40-50 minutes. Short-staffed on delivery drivers as well. Overall pretty stressful.
A Waiting Game
A group sitting at a table next to mine had an absolute meltdown because their food took too long to arrive. Most of them just left and the last few asked if they could just box it up and leave when the food arrived. They got it all on the house.
Breaking The Silence
I was working in an extremely quiet, high end bar a couple of years ago, one couple was sitting in a corner booth having a screaming argument. Very, very awkward.
Don’t Make Eye Contact
I've seen too many Valentine’s Day couples who spend 99% of the time looking at their phones. So sad. So lonely.
Take The Good With Badburger with lettuce and tomato on white ceramic platePhoto by Juan Rojas on Unsplash
I work at a small local Mexican restaurant. I can't think of any disaster that happened at work for Valentine’s Day, but my girlfriend did dump me before I left for work. Then a girl from one of my tables left her number so the universe is looking out for me.
Worst Valentine's Day I ever saw? Easy. I once witnessed a full-blown divorce discussion, in which the woman left and the man finished the last three courses of their tasting menu when she waited for a taxi in our lounge.
My mom has been a waitress for more than 25 years and has worked her fair share of Valentine's Days. She says she's sen a lot of sad stuff, but it's the worst when little old men or women come in and eat alone because their husband or wife had passed recently and they just sit there and cry. My mom will sit down with them and give them hugs.
What’s The Problem?
I had a brief stint as a waiter in high school. This one couple looks very sweet and loving, with no apparent problems. The girl got down on her knee and asked him to marry her. The man's response was chilling. He started laughing hysterically and explained to her that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. She was furious.
She started screaming about how inappropriate that was, then got her stuff and stormed out. He looked completely bewildered.
Her: Man, this is a great steak!
Him: Did you say this is a great date?