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People Share Their Best 'I Don't Get Paid Enough For This Sh*t' Experiences

People Share Their Best 'I Don't Get Paid Enough For This Sh*t' Experiences
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During my very first week of my very first job I had a woman place a pair of freshly urine-soaked store panties into my hand as "punishment" for not having public restrooms. Florida Woman is so very, very real, fam.


One Reddit user asked:

"What is your 'I don't get paid enough for this sh*t" moment?"

That's the incident that immediately came to mind, but I'd be lying if I said I was 100% certain it's really the worst job moment. Holiday retail work is a dystopian hell-scape and everyone should be required to serve at least one season.

Think I'm lying? You'll notice a theme that keeps coming up in people's stories ...

Plumber Problems

I'm a plumber

Owner of a mobile home called and said they had a stinky yard.

I could smell it when I pulled up.

The mobile home was brand new and had only been set up for about 8 months. While setting it up, someone didn't tighten a no-hub band of the toilet in the kids bathroom.

8 months of flushed toilet was all over the ground under the home and had just started being noticed outside.

I told the homeowner to call the guys that set it up to come fix it. I wasn't crawling under there.

- From-the-Trailerpark


Back when I did plumbing went out to a job that required us to crawl into the crawl space of about a 200 year old mill house.

I opened up the crawl space and shined my light in there across the crawl space to see all the rafters and pipes just draped in snake skins and some snakes slithering away into the darkness. Noped the f*ck out of that one.

I'd rather crawl though sh*t than snakes.

- Brancher

DVDon't Care

stealing bart simpson GIFGiphy

I worked at Circuit City when I was 17. I heard the noise of packaging being opened in the movie section and found a guy crouched down cutting open DVD boxes & stealing the discs.

He looked at me, held his knife out and said "Got a problem?"

I just replied "I don't get paid enough for this sh*t" & backed off. I went to the back room of the warehouse area to call a manager to tell them what happened.

Never could get a hold of anyone so I just chilled in the warehouse area for a half hour to decompress.

- Skrivus


I worked at a movie store in a mall when I was in my early 20's. I probably would've confronted the guy like an idiot. I had a dumb sense of duty back then, a mothaf*ckin' crusader.

One time I chased a shoplifter out of the store down the mall until security was able to tackle them, he did try to steal like 1k+ of merch but it was stupid, people get killed for less.

You did the right thing.

- Z0MBiEGiEF


I also worked at Blockbuster in college for chump change.

A bunch of dudes shoplifted the f*ck out of us and when me and the other guy confronted them about it, they ran out of the door. District Manager asked why I didn't put myself between them and the door to protect the merchandise.

I told them for minimum wage I'm not putting myself in danger to keep a giant corporation from losing some twizzlers and a copy of Friday and Armegeddon.

- Brainstick

$7.25 Per Hour Either Way

Grocery store cashier. The customer was angry because her cereal had rung up wrong. I called a price check and this lady berated me the whole time. I recall that she accused me of trying to steal from her. Said she was going to get me fired.

I looked at her and said, "I make $7.25 per hour no matter how much you pay for this cereal, so I do not give a sh*t how this situation turns out."

She stared at me in shock. The price check comes back saying the price scanned correctly.

Silence.

I said, "So do you want the cereal or not?"

She said, "Yes." And that was that. She did not complain to the manager.

- Historical-Foot99

A Master's Degree In Pee

I'm a public librarian.

I was helping someone in the computer room and turned to tell someone he needed to keep his exclamations at the video he was watching down. Just then, the woman I was helping leapt aside because the man I was shushing pissed himself.

It ran down onto the jacket he had tied around his waist, down the chair, onto the ground.

Turns out he'd snuck in alcohol and was totally black out drunk. I told him he had to leave. He put the piss covered jacket on and stumbled out.

As I returned with gloves and cleaning supplies, another patron decided this was a good time to complain about some kids who were making noise.

I took a deep breath and said "This is a good time for us all to appeal to our higher selves and do our best in the moment. Please just adapt for a minute."

Then I thought about the student loans I took out for the master's degree as I scrubbed up piss.

- thenletskeepdancing

A Literal Sh*t Show

Bagging groceries at a major supermarket. The manager came over to tell me that I needed to clean up the bathroom.

An elderly gentleman fell off the toilet while pooping and it was a literal sh*t show. Apparently I was the most qualified because I was 16. I was handed a broom and a dustpan, I sh*t you not (sorry had to.)

My reward for going above and beyond the call of duty? Five dollars in store coupons. Sometimes dreams really do come true.

- Frgmn7669

"I Hold Madonna Responsible"

ray of light madonna GIFGiphy

I used to work in a mall music store, back when that was a thing. There was a corporate policy to play new music regularly, y'know, because that's the thing you're trying to sell.

My boss, every single day she worked, would play the entire Madonna album Ray of Light. Hours of the same eight f*cking songs. For most of a year, until it was either go mad, commit murder, or bail.

I bailed. I literally quit over it.

That music franchise went under a little over a year later. I hold Madonna and my old boss responsible.

- Eeyores_Prozac

Prime Location For Thieves And Weirdos

I was a manager for a well known lingerie store. Our location was in a failing suburban mall. The store was giant and shaped oddly. There were dressing rooms in odd hidden corners and a few blind spots.

The store was located at the end of the mall next to other stores no one really went to, so there wasn't much foot traffic. We were also always short staffed because no one wanted to work out there. All of those factors made us a prime location for thieves and weirdos.

I would have to do laps around the store due to its layout, and I would regularly come across people doing sex stuff in this one secluded little dressing room. The dressing room was in a sort of alcove and was the least visible spot in the store, so it was prime real estate for all kinds of shenanigans.


It ranged from women doing strip teases for men, to catching couples having oral sex, to catching couples having penetrative sex.

I couldn't take it anymore. I put in my notice the next day.

What was crazy was that corporate always shrugged or laughed it off when I would call and complain that we needed a security guard. I was 21 at the time, and every woman that worked their was between 19-30; it was a safety issue.

They'd also blame us for all the merchandise theft, which we were unable to prevent because there weren't enough bodies in that gigantic store to prevent it.

I was also dating a guy who also worked in the mall, and he told me that they finally closed up that one dressing room not long after I left. He said a lot of folks were pissed because apparently that one little dressing room was a well-known open secret spot for hooking up.

- ElleCBrown

A Javelina's Head

First day at the health department, I'm left at the reception desk alone while literally everyone else in the office went out to a farewell lunch for the person I was replacing. As I was on 90 day probation, wasn't yet licensed and badged, my pay was $7.96/hr.

I'm sitting at reception, and some redneck comes in with a leaking garbage bag and drops it on my desk. It contains a newly be-headed javelina head.

His buddy had been bitten, and it needed to be tested for rabies ASAP.

I had no fucking clue what to do with a bloody leaking garbage bag of javelina head. He couldn't wait for others to return, so he left a number and split.

Turns out, we don't do that sort of thing at the health department. Guy refused to come back.

- barflydammit

The Register Light

I worked at Walmart for less than a month in 2009. I scanned a big box fan for a guy and it didn't ring up, so I said "I gotta do a price check on this, I apologize."

The guy said "It's $24.99 you f*cking idiot."

I stared at him for a moment, then reached up and turned my little register light off, turned around, walked out to my car, and went home.

F*ck that shit.

- CDC_

Alone With An Armed Violent Felon

I used to be a counselor at a methadone clinic. Had a client who was going to prison for slitting the throats of his ex-wife's beloved Rottweiler because "I couldn't kill her and it was the best way to hurt her. "

The day he was supposed to go to prison, he showed up at the clinic well after dosing hours demanding his dose. He was no longer on the clinic so, legally, there was no way to do this.

I stood behind the counter and tried to explain the situation to him. He grew more and more irate and then called his lawyer and put me on the phone with him.


His lawyer explained dude didn't show up for prison, was now a fugitive and had pulled a knife on his own sister in her car just outside my clinic. So, dude had a knife. Lawyer told me not to piss dude off. He was violent and to call the cops.

By this point, every other therapist and office worker had gone home. So I told the lawyer thanks, hung up the phone and mosied the f*ck out of the front office and called the cops from the break room.

Dude hopped over the counter and trashed the place then left.

The bosses asked why I didn't stay and make sure he didn't trash the place and ruin stuff. I explained they paid me $10.50 an hour and refused my raise. I was the only man in the building and was left alone with an armed violent felon.

F*ck their stuff.

- BrainStick

Undercover In A Booth

I work the lowest type of paid security. My co-workers are literal grannies, disabled people, and hobos. We are not imposing.

I got put on guard duty outside of some garage. There was literally nothing important anywhere close, but they were paranoid about hooligans after the big local derby. Fair enough. Off I go to "guard" the garage.

It all actually went nicely for a while. But then cops showed up, the big guys from our company showed up (with all kinds of additional equipment I never could use) and whoops they escalated the whole situation. The people were fine and friendly til officers arrived.

I couldn't see anything, I could only hear it around the corner. I even left my post to check, but still didn't see anything.

Apparently a violent mob broke loose and was heading in my direction. I had no protection or anything (unarmed security guard all alone) so I took my boss' keys from the not-so-secret location and opened the garage ticket booth - which was closer in size to a phone booth.


I locked it, turned off all the lights and radios, took off my uniform and wore my regular clothes and acted like I was still there to sell tickets.

Anyone halfway informed would've seen through that disguise for so many obvious reasons. I prayed nobody actually tried to buy a ticket or ask questions. At the same time, I couldn't run away either.

The mob rampage was real.

At many points I thought they were gonna throw the whole booth over, but I was lucky.

Destruction hit everything else but the mob somehow respected me and left my booth untouched.

The boss told me the company was pleased that I "protected" the booth.

Honestly, I don't even know what I was supposed to do.

My boss obviously already knew of the mob, so me radioing them would've done nothing. The cops were already there... Really, I should've gone home, but my task was to stay outside and stand in front of the garage, so I did ... so stupid.

- ghetterking

The Big Guy

Worked at a bar back in the day.

This big guy had had WAY too much to drink (think colleagues were scared to stop serving him....he was BIIIIG.) As I went to serve him, I saw his condition and refused him.

I genuinely thought he would pass out or worse if he had any more.

He proceeded to grab me by my shirt collar from the other side of the bar, grab his whiskey glass with his other hand and go to smash me over the head.

Luckily his friend (just as drunk, but not a trash person) tackled him to the ground midway through his motion. This was the first of a few similar instances with the same big guy.

He went after a few colleagues and customers.

- r_y_a_n_j_a_m_e_s

Loved The Job

nicki minaj dog GIF by DNCEGiphy

I worked at the front desk of a large humane society doing pretty standard front desk stuff (AKA not a vet or trained professional). I can't count the amount of times people put ziplock baggies of literal dog sh*t infested with living parasites on my desk, near my coffee, or just stuck 2 inches in front of face.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVED that job, but I literally did not get paid enough for that sh*t.

- mighty-chihuahua

The Excitement He Needed

When I was in college, I had a job taking care of a man who had multiple sclerosis. Basically just helping him with his exercises in the morning, watch TV with him, and then go for a walk in the afternoon. Honestly it is the best job I've had, the man was so nice and had a resilience to him that was unlike anything I've ever witnessed.

Anyway, he is in an electrical wheelchair that he would control. The curbside was very high off the road in his area, so anytime we'd be on a curb side I'd tell him to be careful.

At times one pair of wheels would be on the curb and the other on the road. He could see that I would tense up and go close to him. One day he finally said:

"Don't worry this wheelchair has a strong centre of gravity! It will never fall off"

It did in fact look heavy and sturdy.

Well. We were in front of a baseball field and it made him think of a joke. He had difficulty pronouncing because of the multiple sclerosis, so I had to make him repeat like 5 times.

I finally got the joke and it was really funny. We were laughing. We were on a curbside.

I still remember his wheelchair falling, SO SLOWLY. Because of that strong centre of gravity.

My heart was pounding in my chest. I held his head as he was falling with his wheelchair. I recall being there, sitting in the middle of the road, with his head in my hands, yelling for help as I knew I could never lift up this 200 pound wheelchair and his owner.

I think I can safely say I wasn't paid enough for that job. We eventually got help and he wasn't hurt one bit. Said it was the excitement he needed since nothing ever happened to him. He laughed it off. Such a great soul.

- kittynaw

Wrestling Figures

Nearing the end of KB Toys, at least in the mall where I worked.

Assistant manager "found" a bunch of ripped open WWE figure packages. They called loss prevention in. I was accosted over stealing figures, because I was the only employee who bought figures at that store - or I was until that assistant started there.

He was also a big wrestling fan.

After about 20 minutes of continued baseless accusations, I got up, threw my shirt in that assistant's face and said "f*ck you I don't need this" and walked out.

Guessing they closed the investigation off as though I did it and was terminated for it. A couple of years later, I applied to Game Crazy and was declined a position because my name showed up in a national theft database for around $200.

Of course it was after KB was closed, so I had no legal recourse.

- eldniw

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The All-Time Biggest First Date Red Flags

Reddit user APT3993 asked: 'What’s the biggest red flag you have seen on a first date?'

When you're on a first date, one of three things will happen. Either you'll like the person and want to go out again, you like the person fine, but not romantically, and won't want to go out again, or the person will display a behavior that is so off-putting (or make you genuinely fearful), that you won't even want to see the person ever again.

My best friend and I are basically the same person, so when she met a guy who he had a lot in common with, she figured I'd like him too and set us up (I had previously told her I was okay with being set up).

Well, it turns out the guy actually hadn't read any of the books, watched any of the shows, or heard of any of the bands he talked about with my friend. I didn't understand why he would lie about all these things until I left the table.

When I came back, he was on the phone with someone and he was telling them he only told her he liked all those things because he liked my friend. When he found out she was in a relationship, he decided he'd let her set us up in the hopes that he could date me until my friend and her boyfriend broke up, and then he could swoop in.

I just walked out and when he finally texted me asking what was up, I told him I overheard him, then proceeded to block him. My friend was mortified to hear about the date, and I decided never to be set up again.

I'm not the only one who has gone on a date and discovered a huge red flag. Redditors have experienced this too, and are eager to share their stories.

It all started when Redditor APT3993 asked:

"What’s the biggest red flag you have seen on a first date?"

Dates Of Relationships Past

"They won't shut up about their ex."

– SiriusGD

"Had this happen to me on a 2nd date."

"Asked if she could use my computer, I said OK. Then she pulls up her ex's FB profile to browse through it, and she spent the next 10 minutes comparing me to him, saying he she thinks that I will turn out to be controlling and manipulative like him because we both grew up on a farm and we both like cars."

"Ummm, wut?"

– alwaysmyfault

"He angrily told me I would “love” his ex wife. Proceeded to cry while talking about her. They’d been divorced for 5 years. I genuinely hope he is doing better."

– TX_Mothman

"She constantly compared me to her ex, and sat on her phone for most of the night, then expected me to pay for her two bottles of wine, plus really expensive meal and desert."

"She asked me out btw, not the other way around."

– Stuspawton

I Know What I Want

"The guy who tried to change my order with the waitress because he didn’t think the drink I’d asked for was sufficiently feminine."

"I ordered beer. I don’t remember exactly what he thought I should have, maybe white wine? It was a long time ago."

"The waitress was looking at me like ‘You heard that sh*t too right?’ and I told her actually I wouldn’t have anything, thanks, and I left."

– MaggieLuisa

"He changed it FROM A BEER TO SOMETHING ELSE!!?! That’s amazing to me. Like it’s bad enough if you ordered an IPA and he said, “I dunno, sweetie, your delicate female taste buds probably can’t handle the hoppiness. Hey, honey, why don’t we get the lady a Coors.”"

– AdaptiveVariance

The Position Of Boyfriend

"We met for drinks after work (since we both work in the same industry) and she showed up with a list of interview questions. She literally had a checklist on her phone for me to fill out. I thought she was joking at first, but the questions were extremely personal, like how many sexual partners you've had, the oldest, the youngest; How much money you made the previous year; If you owned a house, a car, a boat, a plane; Did you have a criminal history; Where do you parents live; Are they alive; Who did you vote for in the last election; All kinds of stuff like that."

"I even proposed that we could just use that as a conversation starter and we could work through them like that as a fun way to get to know each other. I was really trying. She tells me that she's not answering any of them because I'm trying to date her, not the other way around!"

"I laughed out loud thinking she was kidding, then realized she was absolutely serious. I wished her all the best in the dating world, chugged my beer, overtipped the waitress, and left."

– OkFrostina

"Yeah, I would really push that to the limit without getting law enforcement involved. Start with all the times I have ended up in rehabilitation, my abductions by UFO, the wild, kinky sex partners I have had, the millions I have lost before living under a bridge, etc."

– passporttohell

Scary As Hell

"Had a guy who insisted on buying the most expensive pizza at the restaurant despite my protests then kissed my head when he walked past me to use the restroom. After dinner we walked along the waterfront, he kissed me and then immediately tried to choke me "to be sexy". First date, last date."

– Twours1944

"What the sh*t?? Who taught this idiot that choking in public on the first date all without consent is a great get-to-know-you move??"

– villainsimper

Stranger Danger

"This was literally the day of a first date. But I had matched with an older man when I was still on dating apps. We planned to go on a hike on a very beautiful day by the water. On the day of the date, he wanted me to leave my car at his place, while he drove us through the backwoods so we can beat traffic. I said I’ll be happy to drive myself, and he laughed and canceled. His reasoning was he’s been stood up so many times and he didn’t want to waste his time and me not show up. I said “okay!I apologize for the inconvenience. I hope you find what you are looking for. “and blocked him."

"The red flag was when he genuinely got upset that I didn’t want to ride in a car with a stranger through the backwoods for our first date."

– Jesusdoescrack

"You should have said “you fear being stood up, I fear being murdered.”"

– The_She_Ghost

Truly Gross

"He pointed to another woman at the bar and said she was his ex. But she happened to be my lesbian roommate."

"Yes, I told him I knew he was full of it cuz she was my roommate, and I pointed out her girlfriend who was there with her. I don’t remember what he said exactly but he had no choice but to admit he was lying. I wish I had asked why he said it. I assume to make me jealous? Like that’s a good way to start a relationship? Obviously, that was the only date."

– Grapegoop

​Those Who Came Before

"He told me he had been divorced 5 times. I'm taking the advice of 5 women I don't know."

– 13liz

"The way you phrased this killed me 😂"

– CumulativeHazard

Got Her Feeling Emotions

"Does bursting into tears after I told them I didn't like a TV show count?"

– JumboDakotaSmoke

"I'm curious as to what TV show it was?"

– ladydamnation

"Grey's Anatomy."

– JumboDakotaSmoke

"bursts into tears"

– akennelley

Um...What?!

"He took me to his house (he lived with his mom) just so HE could eat dinner with his mom while I sat in the living room. I listened to them eat and talk about my looks like I couldn't hear them. Apparently, I was pretty but "needed to be taken down a peg or two." I said my period had started so I had to go home. A future abuser and his enabler mommy."

– BigMcLargeHuge77

Ew...Just Ew

"We went to a movie. He spent the first half with his hand inside one of his socks, then pulling it out and smelling it, putting it back in, repeat, repeat."

"Then he spent the second half trying to hold my hand. With his sock hand."

– Deleted User

Bad From The Start

"She asked if I could order for her because she was uncomfortable talking to the brown waitress.

"Added: Same girl would not stop talking about Kardashian gossip even though I told her I know nothing about them and didn’t care to know."

– CanaDoug420

Stop, Theif!

"He showed up drunk with a bouquet of flowers he admitted he stole from his mother's flower shop."

– LookAcrossTheWater

​Cringe-Worthy

"Went to a charity coffee shop for a date. It was “free” coffee where they just ask for donations which went toward their org’s efforts to feed and house people. They explained this to him and asked if he wanted to make a donation for our drinks."

"He said no."

– Shredded_Wheaties

Oh, yikes! I would be so embarrassed!

In fact, I'm kind of losing faith in dating as a concept.

people sitting inside plane
Hanson Lu on Unsplash

Commercial aviation began in the late 1920s, spurred on by early aeronautical companies and several record breaking solo flights.

Since then, there are few places on Earth that can't be seen or accessed by plane. Only icing limits humans from low altitude flights over certain areas like the polar regions, while a lack of landing locations keeps some areas accessible to only the smallest pontoon planes.

From January through December 2022, United States airlines carried 853 million passengers. Globally, air travel reached a high of over 4.7 billion passengers before the pandemic limited flights.

Since then, global air travel has rebounded to over 3.7 billion passengers.

With almost 100 years and over a trillion passengers, the people who crew these flights are bound to have seen everything happen that possibly could at airports and on a flight.

Keep reading...Show less
A skeptical man
Photo by Timothy Dykes on Unsplash

We've all heard our fair share of conspiracy theories, from thoughts about the White House to aliens and beyond.

But some conspiracy theories have become truly strange and nuanced, and it's hard to stop listening to the person explaining their beliefs, because as weird as some of these theories sound, they could almost by some stretch of the imagination make sense.

Intrigued, Redditor Accomplished-Leg-991 asked:

"What's the weirdest or craziest theory you have heard of?"

Seems Plausible.

"Traffic barrels are left up for so long because the Department of Transportation bought too many and has no place to store them."

- dailysunshineKO

The Grass Is Always Greener

"The truck driver that delivered my flooring gave me this gem: The push for green lawns in the US is by Big Pharma."

"The cliff notes version is that to get green grass, you need pesticides, pesticides cause cancer, and cancer is good business for drug companies. It was like a 20-minute long rant to get to that conclusion and it was an adventure."

- StillBald

"I need to drink with him for one night. That cannot possibly be the only banger he's got."

- karenalphas

The Ice Wall

"Recently TikTok kept giving bizarre suggestions where people trying to prove Ice Wall in Antarctica that Earth is bigger and something is hiding behind ice wall in Antarctica… What the h**l."

- XenophanesJunior

"It's a weird subset of flat earthers, who believe in an 'infinite plane' that lies beyond the ice wall (guarded by NASA, of all people), and the reason? The infinite plane has endless amounts of gold mines and gems they can mine for infinite money."

- bag2d

Tinkering with the Algorithm

"That Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen, and they made the movie 'Frozen' so that when people googled 'Walt Disney Frozen,' the movie would come up first."

- LizardPossum

"They updated this theory, but now it is with Taylor Swift. It basically says that she went to that Kansas City Chiefs vs NY Jets game so that when people search 'Taylor Swift Jets,' it will only show news about the game, and not about her going everywhere with her private jets."

- abirll

"It's so wild now these rely on people being completely unable to go to page two of a Google search."

- LizardPossum

The All-Important Celebrity Weddings

"I had a coworker that fully believes the government controls the weather so celebrities can have nice weddings."

- pinballgizard

"Out of all the reasons to control the weather, celebrity weddings are a top priority for the government."

- Suspicious-Craft4980

The Truth of Social Security Numbers

"Your social security number indicates which bank you were sold to at birth."

- compuwiza1

"Ah, sovereign citizens..."

- CaptainMikul

Dinosaur Bones, Huh?

"Dinosaur bones were placed on earth by Satan to trick people into 'abandoning' God."

- River_7890

"There's a big American Church whose members believe that dinosaur bones exist because God made the Earth with leftovers from a previous planet."

"Mental gymnastics to justify their belief that the Earth is only 10'000 years old and C14 dates dinosaur bones as being millions of years old..."

- mrsrosieparker

"I'm absolutely not shocked. The person who told me jumps through so many mental hoops to try to disprove science. She thinks that the government is secretly working for Satan to convert people, too."

"Oh and of course Disney. She's crazy overall. Not just with religious stuff. I could tell so many stories of her crossing lines and saying off-the-wall things. I try to not associate with her as much as possible."

- River_7890

The Worst Kind of Waiting Room

"The USS Philadelphia Experiment and the US army soldier who claimed he was in an interdimensional waiting room as a greeter for eternity until he was suddenly transported back onto the ship."

"People claimed it was a cloaking device gone wrong and left men's bodies trapped within the steel of the boat upon reentry."

"I never looked into it but read about it in a book that had a statement like, 'Nothing in this book is true but it's exactly the way things are,' or something similar. Always thought it was the wildest conspiracy theory ever when I was a stoned teenager reading it."

- Hereforthecake

Phantom Time Conspiracy Theory

"There’s a whole podcast with hundreds of episodes dedicated to this subject. Worth a listen. One of the wildest ones is that Charlemagne’s grandson moved the calendar forward ~300 years and thus the Dark Ages never happened."

- seandowling73

Gives the Shortcut a Whole New Meaning

"Met a dude at the gym who believed that the CIA had built tunnels throughout the Earth's core, connecting all the major cities. Was some kind of global takeover scheme."

- Latham74

Infathomly Large Trees

"Mountains are all the stumps of ancient fossilized enormous trees."

"I'm absolutely obsessed with this theory. It's connected to flat earth, but flat earth isn't a requirement for this theory nor do most flat earthers believe it."

- inkstainedgoblin

Under Control

"We're all infected by parasites that feed on our stress hormones released by negative emotions like guilt, sadness, anger, fear, and so on. They control our minds and, thereby, us to an extent. The only way to combat them is by being aware and questioning if your thoughts and actions are truly your own thoughts and actions."

- 42clickslater

Enough Said

"The one about JFK Jr. coming back to help Trump win the 2020 election is still tops in my book."

- pinkyknee

Big Pharma Chickens

"That owning chickens is the gateway drug to believing conspiracy theories."

- sarcasawm

"As someone who has owned chickens, the only thing they're a gateway drug to is getting more farm animals."

- CelticArche

"That’s what Big Goat wants you to believe."

- MissRockNerd

"Big Farm-A."

- cannedcream

As wild as some of these conspiracy theories were, there's no denying that they're fascinating, some for the simple fact that they're almost plausible.

They at least get you thinking in a new way, and perhaps that isn't such a bad thing every now and then.

Two guys hi-fiving each other
Tyler Nix/Unsplash

A good friend is not always the one with whom you share laughs and fun experiences.

The friendships you want to keep include those who won't abandon you in a time of need or someone who supports you in a variety of complicated situations where not even a family member can be relied upon.

Unfortunately, many of us have experienced a time when a person's true colors revealed to us that the so-called "friend" we've always trusted wasn't one at all.

Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Aesthetik_1 asked:

"What made you instantly realize This 'friend' is not a real friend?"

These Redditors didn't realized at the time that they were being used.

Recurring Favor

"When he only called me when he needed something. It didn't hit me until much later."

– Queasy-Location-9303

"I have one of those 'friends'. She always gushes about how we're friends but she never initiates contact unless she wants me to do something for her."

– StiffAssedBrit

The Errand Girl

"Several years back, I had a friend who introduced me to this new boy she was seeing. Maybe a year later, their relationship blew up in a fury of bs (whole other story), but by the time they split, I was equally friends with both of them. He and I were both photographers at the time, so the friendship was instantaneous."

"One day we started talking about her, neither positively nor in poor taste, just kind of in general."

"He then asked me 'when she texts to hang out, what does she usually want to do?'"

"I paused. I thought. Holy sh*t, she'd either be asking for a favour or for help with some kind of errand. I was her f'king errand girl."

"She texted me a month or two later, just a 'hey'. I never responded. She never texted again."

"I'm still friends with her ex, though. That dude is genuine as heck."

– ChamomileBrownies

Testing The Friendship

"When you decide to let them be the one to reach out. And you never hear from them again."

– plzdontgetmad

"Yup. Made plans with a friend three times, she cancelled each time. I finally told her to let me know when she was free, we haven’t hung out since."

"She was a good friend for the season, but not a lifetime."

– NoMrBond3

People were shocked to discover the moment they realized they didn't really know who their "friend" was anymore.

The Chaperon

"I had been giving rides to a girl I thought was my friend. To and from school in high school. She wasn’t really suppose to ride with other teens but due to her mothers work hours we could easily pull this off. I thought we were close."

"One day while on the way home my brakes went out. We were about 2 blocks from her gated neighborhood. I managed to roll in safely and parked at her house to call a tow truck."

"She flipped. Told me I couldn’t stay. She knew my brakes were not working as she had also been terrified when we couldn’t stop. She said she wanted to go to a movie that weekend with other friends and her mom would ground her if she saw me at the house. I offered to lie and say I only stopped there as my car malfunctioned on my way home. I had to pass her neighborhood on my way home anyways."

"She refused. Started to scream at me. She didn’t care what happened I had to go. Started to call the guard at the front gate to tell them I had broken in and was threatening her."

"I left her and that friendship that moment. I managed to roll my car slowly to a mechanic not too far away but never forgot the shi* feeling of knowing I could have been seriously hurt and she wouldn’t have cared. She wanted to see a movie. She had the nerve to sheepishly call and ask me a couple days later if I could give her a ride to school. Told her I was too busy and no longer had time… after all I wanted to help her obey her mom's rules. She rode the bus til she graduated."

– Duffarum

Unwilling Companion

"I had this friend in school. Each year there was a funfair in our city, all students received vouchers for a drink and something to eat. This friend complained the whole day that she had no one to accompany her to the funfair. So, stupid me offered to go with her."

"Once we arrived we met another friend of hers. And another, and another... until we were a group of 5 or 6 people. I didn't know anyone and was basically just walking behind them. This friend took me aside and said, 'My friends think you are annoying, and we would like you to leave.'"

"It was a pleasure to see that she failed her exams a year later."

– Auldale

There's the spirit of competition, but when it's taken seriously, we're no longer game for these friendships.

I Can Do It Better

"Constantly 'one ups' me. A real friend is happy for you."

– Complex-Half8338

"That one time I got a fake bag but she doesn’t know and then 2 weeks later messaged me that she also bought a luxury bag… Then when I got a bf, she also went to get a bf within 3 months which is TOTALLY fine but she constantly messages me for us to go on a double date. Anyways, sadly they didn’t last long :( I mentioned that I wanted to go to Cuba, she went ahead and bought herself a ticket to Cuba but I didn’t end up going lol"

– Hot-Coffee-8465

Never Steal The Spotlight

"When they loved the idea of me shining, but behind their shadow, I could never do or achieve anything above them, and when I did, they would get jealous."

– Jasssin23

"Yes! I recently ghosted a friend because of this kind of behavior. She was trying to compete about EVERYTHING. Like she bragged about how her mom’s car accident was more traumatic than my elderly MIL’s - which is not even an appropriate thing to compare. She would also try to 'outshine' celebrations of my milestones and was mean to several of my friends for no apparent reason. She was a loose cannon at best."

– thefifthtrilogy

All About Me

"ALL she talks about it herself and her problems. Granted she has a a lot but never asks about me or my life until she realizes she just bypassed my attempt to want to talk about something in my life bothering me and continued to talk about herself."

– PokemomOnTheGo

People can just be so rude.

"When I got really sick. Very few came to help."

– Tofflus1

"Same here. I got cancer and everyone I knew was over the top supportive for the first six months and then all but three of my friends just vanished. I saw one of them at a Halloween party while I was going through chemo and she told me that my bald head made people uncomfortable. I was dressed as Captain Picard, it was awesome and she ruined it."

– CatGoNoTail

Not Missing High School

"At lunch, she was sitting with her boyfriend, I was sitting with our friend circle. She came up to me, guilted me into sitting with her and her boyfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of lunch."

"She didn't care about me, she just didn't want me talking to the friend circle that she had abandoned for her boyfriend. When I pointed this out to her, she called me a jealous b*tch."

"Ah, high school. How I don't miss thee."

– Symnestra

These examples actually served as a good reminder for me to take a moment and assess my friendships.

Not so much about how I've been treated but more about checking myself to see if I'm respecting the people I call my friends.

We've all been guilty of casually mentioning future plans to get together. I embarrassingly wait for people to initiate something, which is terrible.

Show up for your friends. Make them feel important like the individuals they are.