Who hasn't faked an illness at least once in their life, to get out of going to a work, school or a party or gathering you just really didn't want to go to?
In such cases, a simple call or message saying you're sick will often suffice.
Other times, a doctor's note might be necessary to prove that you are in fact sick.
While needing medical proof of illness is enough for some people to wave the white flag, others are a bit more determined, and will give the performance of their lives to try to convince a doctor they are ailing.
Unfortunately for them, most doctors can detect a fraudulent invalid before even inserting a thermometer.
Redditor LushLover13 was curious to hear the tell tale signs of a fake illness or injury which doctors can spot in the blink of an eye, leading them to ask:
"Doctors of Reddit, what are the dead giveaway signs that someone is faking?"
Believe Them First
"Brief note foe all the student doctors out there."
"People can pass stroke field tests and still be having a stroke."
"I could do everything on the list while I had a clot in my brain, verified by CT and MRI."
"Except I couldn't stop vomiting."
"Good times."
"Be aware sometimes sh*t doesn't look like you think it should."-Justbecauseitcameup
"I went to emergency once with intense chest pain."
"The young (new) doctor I saw first listen to my chest and immediately concluded I had pericarditis but the supervising doctor decided I was faking it for drugs for some reason."
"The next morning I woke up to a psychologist in my room asking all sorts of random sh*t when an orderly interrupted because the ultrasound guy was in and wanted to see me first thing."
"I think after talking to the first doc I saw."
"Turns out I had pericarditis and myocarditis and the dude wheeled me out himself and told them to order an ambulance to take me to a hospital with a cardiac clinic."- freeLightbulbs
homer simpson pain GIFGiphyPremature Reactions...
"I'm a nurse on a floor that deals with a lot of chronic and acute pain patients."
"Most recent instance was this lady from a few weeks ago that was apparently splitting the Oxycodone we were giving her in half in her mouth and then when the nurse's backs were turned, she would stuff it in a pill jar."
"A night nurse caught her in the act and all of her sh*t had to be searched."
"We found 20 half tablets of Oxycodone she had been stashing."
"She told us that she was 'saving them for her family in case they need them because it's just so hard to get an Oxycodone prescription these days'."
"I had her a few days after that, and she was having some abdominal pain ."
"STAT x-ray showed only gas."
"She just really needed to fart."
"But she was screaming, claiming it was a 10, and making a huge f*cking scene."
"She DEMANDED Dilaudid through her IV, and she wanted it to be pushed fast."
"Huge red flag right there."
"She wanted the high, not the relief."
"Doc straight up said he wouldn't give her Dilaudid because she was already on so many opiates."
"She then demanded Lorazepam, still through her IV of course."
"Doc was like fine whatever, just one time and only a low end dose."
"I was flushing her IV with normal saline first, to make sure her IV was patent, and she leans back and is like 'OOOOoooo that's so much better already'."
"Hadn't even given her the Lorazepam yet, smdh."- strawberrytaint
Everything Is Fine Reaction GIF by Tricia GraceGiphyDesperate Ways To Avoid Change...
"Obligatory not a doctor, but I got a call from my son's school nurse when he was in 2nd grade, and the conversation went like this:"
"Nurse sounding upbeat & cheerful says, 'your son wants to tell you his terrible news'."
"Son gets on the phone, says 'Hi mom, I cut my finger off'."
"I ask him, 'Where is your finger now?'"
"Son: 'I put it back on'."
"I said, 'Can I talk to the nurse?'"
"Nurse gets on the phone again, says, 'Sounds serious, right?'"
"I asked, 'does he have a substitute teacher today?'"
"Ahhhhh... yes."
"I told the nurse to let him know I will take him to the hospital for a shot for his finger, to which he says 'I think it's OK. I glued it on really good'."
"Nurse kept him in the office for a bit to talk about scary changes in the classroom."- cat9tail
Crying Wolf Ruins It For Everyone
"I don’t know why anyone would want to fake anything medical."
"Unconsciousness in particular."
"I got a compound fracture recently and called 911 on myself and was put on hold."
"Fun stuff."
"But got through and asked them to send help."
"Operator was a badass and kept asking me questions to keep me conscious."
"The ambulance folks arrive, casually got out of the ambulance, walk up to me and then saw the bone sticking out of my body, and said, quote, 'Oh! You’re actually hurt!'"
"YES! Did you think I called 911 because I spilled some lemonade?"
"Then it occurred to me that most of their calls must be horsesh*t."
"But to cause me even more confusion, I received close to a $2000 bill for the privilege of actual help and the ride to the hospital."
"That ludicrous bill is no fault of the EMS.
"I’m very much appreciative of their existence and they don’t get nearly enough credit, but the best part of receiving that bill?"
"The ambulance ride was roughly $1850."
"The fentanyl they gave me was $2.15."- KedaZ1
bart simpson run GIFGiphyCan You Repeat That?
"My sister is a pediatric audiologist and this is my favorite story of hers."
"Apparently, sometime in elementary school, usually the early grades, a ton of kids like to fake hearing loss."
"Like not just 'oh, I can’t hear the teacher'.”
"Full on, want to get hearing aids, etc."
"Anyway, she explained to me that based on the way she plays the tones, you can usually tell if someone is faking."
"Especially when they just pretend they can’t hear anything.'
"But it’s not 100%, obviously, because hearing loss patterns can be really weird."
"However, she’s caught a number of kids simply by saying, 'okay, so I’m going to play [a random number] of tones and they’ll go in both ears'."
"I want you to say ‘yes’ if you hear it and ‘no’ if you don’t'.”- rbickfor1988
People will likely continue to fake illness in order to get out of something till the end of time.
And power to anyone who can successfully dupe their doctor.
Though, there's anyone one should always be in a trusting, honest relationship with, it's the person in charge of making sure you're healthy.
Something to consider.
Redditor Shadowclook21 wanted to hear about the times we've seen people waste money on nonsense, so they asked:
"What is the dumbest thing you've seen someone spend their money on?"
I get we all like nice things, but we have to be smart with our coins.
Wake Up!
Good Morning Time GIF by Berk's Beans CoffeeGiphy"An alarm clock coffee machine. It was me."
ineedanusername_
When on FB
"My wife is in a lot of mom groups on Facebook. The amount of people who beg for help for their poor babies who won’t get any Christmas/birthday gifts who also show off brand new giant tattoos is amazing. She shows me every time she finds one of these people and it happens all the time. Usually multiple recent photos of them out drinking and partying as well."
"So yeah, there’s a lot of people out there who blow big money in tattoos and partying instead of setting aside a little bit of money for their kids."
clocks212
Scratched
"Knew a girl who would spend all her money on scratchers and drugs. She would constantly go on about how when she finally won big she was going to move and get clean.... He grandmother gave her a 20 - 30k inheritance. Nothing changed except how many scratchers she would buy. I saw her buy out whole rolls occasionally. She wised up with the last few thousand and put some advance rent on an apartment (was in a motel) and fixed her car. But that money was gone in less than 2 months."
Sub_pup
60 Bucks
"PSA: Accidental subscriptions. Remember, kids, if you sign up for a free trial, be prepared to cancel that s**t the second they allow you. Otherwise, they'll start charging automatically."
xisiko1120
Kaboom
Im Ready Independence Day GIFGiphy"My neighbors once spent all their money on a private firework show, then had to hide their cars from the repo man for months. No longer neighbors."
redheadedstepchild54
Neighbors are always going to neighbor.
Classics
sia diplo GIF by LSDGiphy"I bought a cassette tape two weeks ago. I don't even have a way to play cassettes but I still bought it."
sibipi3040
They're Everywhere
"My Mum has spent $1000s on crystals and stones. She continues to, and gives them as gifts, I have no idea wtf to do with them so I put them in my plants pots then she gets upset for some reason. Send help please."
Necessary_Oil_9779
"Get her a rock tumbler and have her tumble her own and try to identify them. Cheaper in the long run. Makes for a more interesting hobby too, if she gets into it. It will get her out of the house and into nature. Crystals are everywhere, they literally litter the earth. A lot of ordinary-looking rocks turn out quite beautiful once they've been tumbled."
TerrifyinglyAlive
Just a Waste
"I dated a guy who would still use his debit card even when his account was over drafted because he didn’t realize he was charged overdraft fees for every transaction. I had to explain to him his single snickers bar or bag of chips or whatever from the vending machine was now costing him an extra $35. And he did this multiple times every single shift he worked."
beaniequeeny
5 More Minutes
"Gambling machines. I work in a bar room. People will play these machines for 12+ hours and never win. Then they Win $700 the next night and think they’re on top... it’s insane. They look like zombies sitting there in a trance. Once had to unplug the machine on a patron who would not leave for closing. Kept saying '5 more minutes.'"
BrianFrom97
OnlyCrap
"I worked with a guy who'd spend 200-300 bucks a week on OnlyFans. He'd brag about it, I guess he thought of he'd spent enough he might get lucky or something."
TheRealJokar
Why do some people spend with such abandon? It makes no sense to me, but it's not my money.
Have you ever witnessed someone blow a load of cash on something crazy? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor bipolar_bear76765 wanted to hear about the worst things we've heard in an intimate situation, they asked:
"What’s the worst thing anyone has ever told you in bed?"
If I have nothing nice to say, I just leave.
Follow my lead.
Over It
Stay Back Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"I'm not attracted to you anymore. It wasn't during sex but it was still in bed."
Pennywise626
Hold Me
"I don't think you're sexy but you're really good for a cuddle."
JasonPassley
"I know the first and I love cuddling."
Fun-Agent-7667
"Even though I can see how this could’ve been hurtful, especially if you might’ve wanted to be considered more than 'cuddle material,' were you at least able to cuddle your way into self-soothing? Lol."
"Best vibes and hope you have fared well."
Famous-Somewhere-751
Wrong Number
"I got called a mistake immediately after. I had feelings for her and had had these feelings for her for years."
"I thought we would never actually be anything. She was the high school crush that ended up moving away and lost all contact. Through some crazy weird circumstances we ran into each other years later. We had been flirting like crazy for weeks. She immediately cut all contact. Pain."
throwthisoneoutdude
That was quick...
"That she had sex with a friend of mine like 20 minutes earlier."
"I had sex with someone last year who right after we finished proclaimed that she had a boyfriend. Fast forward a year and indeed, they're engaged and sh*t like that.. HOW THE F**!!"
"I had sex a few times with my housemate’s girlfriend. He was completely ok with it as they had an open relationship. She suggested it to me while the three of us were drinking together. He was fully supportive of it, I even took him aside when she went to the bathroom to make sure he wasn’t just saying it for her. It was a bit odd, but we all knew it was a no strings attached deal and it worked out fine in the long run."
bg-j38
Pardon Me?
Nbc Idk GIF by Good GirlsGiphy"You can use one of my boyfriend's condoms. They're in the drawer, but they're probably too big."
InsomniumGatherum
"A lot of dudes who wear a magnum have no business wearing a magnum."
redrosebeetle
Lord, I need a bleach bath.
Stop!
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"Just lost my hair due to heath concerns, was pretty embarrassed about it."
"He looks down and goes, 'Can you stop? You look like a man from this angle.' Oof."
Recoil
“'You make me feel dirty when you touch me.' Happened over 40 years ago and it still crawls under my skin."
wyoflyboy68
Tick-Tock
“'Just hurry and finish.' Two or three minutes in, she said it with a look of pure disgust."
Cultist902
We What?
"We have herpes, now."
420_Traveller
"I could be wrong, but in some places it’s a crime to knowingly infect someone. At least, I do know of civil cases where people were able to sue for damages when someone knowingly had sex with them without disclosing their STD status."
Improvised0
Well people really are the worst at times. Be sure to pick your bedfellows accordingly.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
And the opportunity for strangers online to unburden themselves arose when Redditor _Lord_Infamous asked:
"What is a scary, unsettling fact about you?"
Certain facts about these Redditors are perplexing.
Blank Space
"I do not actually remember a decent chunk of my life, whenever I talk about most of my childhood I use words that leave room for mistakes and am generally using memories and ideas I've compiled from hearing other people say things about me."
"There is actually a large chunks of facts about myself that I only think I know, and don't have personal confirmation of."
– Cendruex
Dead Or Alive
"I’m convinced with no evidence that my father is still alive and that my whole family is lying to me. I logically know he is not. But every knock on the door I open half expecting my father. Could be something to work through … but it’s not really affecting me day to day. My grandfather died and I thought I would feel the same way. Nope. He is dead and I miss him but he is dead."
– rkspm
Warning: Self-Harm Trigger
"Growing up I had a recurring nightmare set in my grandparents backyard looking at the back of their house. There was just something 'off' about the house. Something mildly sinister. I dreamt this over and over, many times over the years."
"In 2018, my dad (who now owned the house) went into the backyard to that spot and killed himself."
"I haven’t had the backyard dream since."
– OSUJillyBean
Nightmares Come True
"I had a recurring super vivid intense dream at like 4.... my uncle was chasing us around a labyrinth with a large knife... trying to kill me and my grandmother. 25 or so years later the same uncle (complete paranoid delusional schizophrenic) murders my grandmother at her condo... with the very nice chef knife I bought her for Christmas the year before..."
– Serotu
Severe Trauma
"Less scary and more shocking, but when I was 9 years old I survived a home invasion where I was shot 6 times. I played dead on the floor until the man left and called 911 and in my adrenaline rush I thought they couldn't find my house so I crawled with my left are swinging the wrong way and my right leg limp from nerve damage, all the way to the front door when he broke in from the back of the house."
"I lived with only my mother who unfortunately didn't survive. I vividly remember picking out the guy in a photo line up while recovering in the ICU."
"I am very lucky to have kept my left arm, I have 32 pins and screws to make up for my shattered elbow. My left leg has permanent nerve damage and I now have 'drop foot'. Despite my physical injuries and PTSD, I am doing very well."
– skullexis
We are not all born the same.
Complete Immunity
"I'm one of the lucky few with the CCR5-delta-32 mutation. Why is that relevant? It makes me immune to HIV and a handful of other pathogens, most notably the Bubonic Plague."
– SursumCorda-NJ
Sharper Image
"I have 2 lenses in my right eye, so it focuses like binoculars. My doctor wrote a paper about it. Mostly blinded as a baby in my left eye. Dr suspected my right lense split then healed as 2 distinct lenses. Better than 20/20 in my right eye."
– The_Smoot
Prematurely Slim
"When I was born, I was so premature that my dad, who had quite dainty piano fingers, could slide his wedding ring up my arm to my shoulder. (I weighed 2 lbs, born at 27 weeks)."
– cyanomys
Losing Digits
"I had 6 toes on each foot at birth and got them cut off you can see the place they cut them at."
– HearingAccurate8616
People live with the unfortunate risk that their lives can be cut short at any given moment.
Ticking Time Bomb
"I have an enlarged aortic root. It's very unlikely, but it could spontaneously rupture leading to the medical term adjusts glasses... 'instantaneous death'. I would pass out, bleed to death, and then fall over. Dead before hitting the ground. And it could happen at any time. My wife is very uncomfortable thinking about it lol."
– ignisnex
For The Sake Of Survival
"my immune system backfired and tried to murder me and almost succeeded. I now have to take multiple injections every single day all day or i'll die a painful death within a week."
"Just trying to write diabetes in the most bad-a** way."
– monstrinhotron
A friend of mine once told me that the name I've known him by was not his real name.
He had gone by an alias, which everyone at work assumed was his actual name, to protect himself and his identity after he had been violently hunted down, stalked and threatened for his life for witnessing a murder.
The suspects involved were eventually caught and locked away for good.
I don't remember all the other details about the traumatizing incident because I was completely stupefied.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/