Who hasn't faked an illness at least once in their life, to get out of going to a work, school or a party or gathering you just really didn't want to go to?
In such cases, a simple call or message saying you're sick will often suffice.
Other times, a doctor's note might be necessary to prove that you are in fact sick.
While needing medical proof of illness is enough for some people to wave the white flag, others are a bit more determined, and will give the performance of their lives to try to convince a doctor they are ailing.
Unfortunately for them, most doctors can detect a fraudulent invalid before even inserting a thermometer.
Redditor LushLover13 was curious to hear the tell tale signs of a fake illness or injury which doctors can spot in the blink of an eye, leading them to ask:
"Doctors of Reddit, what are the dead giveaway signs that someone is faking?"
Believe Them First
"Brief note foe all the student doctors out there."
"People can pass stroke field tests and still be having a stroke."
"I could do everything on the list while I had a clot in my brain, verified by CT and MRI."
"Except I couldn't stop vomiting."
"Good times."
"Be aware sometimes sh*t doesn't look like you think it should."-Justbecauseitcameup
"I went to emergency once with intense chest pain."
"The young (new) doctor I saw first listen to my chest and immediately concluded I had pericarditis but the supervising doctor decided I was faking it for drugs for some reason."
"The next morning I woke up to a psychologist in my room asking all sorts of random sh*t when an orderly interrupted because the ultrasound guy was in and wanted to see me first thing."
"I think after talking to the first doc I saw."
"Turns out I had pericarditis and myocarditis and the dude wheeled me out himself and told them to order an ambulance to take me to a hospital with a cardiac clinic."- freeLightbulbs
homer simpson pain GIFGiphyPremature Reactions...
"I'm a nurse on a floor that deals with a lot of chronic and acute pain patients."
"Most recent instance was this lady from a few weeks ago that was apparently splitting the Oxycodone we were giving her in half in her mouth and then when the nurse's backs were turned, she would stuff it in a pill jar."
"A night nurse caught her in the act and all of her sh*t had to be searched."
"We found 20 half tablets of Oxycodone she had been stashing."
"She told us that she was 'saving them for her family in case they need them because it's just so hard to get an Oxycodone prescription these days'."
"I had her a few days after that, and she was having some abdominal pain ."
"STAT x-ray showed only gas."
"She just really needed to fart."
"But she was screaming, claiming it was a 10, and making a huge f*cking scene."
"She DEMANDED Dilaudid through her IV, and she wanted it to be pushed fast."
"Huge red flag right there."
"She wanted the high, not the relief."
"Doc straight up said he wouldn't give her Dilaudid because she was already on so many opiates."
"She then demanded Lorazepam, still through her IV of course."
"Doc was like fine whatever, just one time and only a low end dose."
"I was flushing her IV with normal saline first, to make sure her IV was patent, and she leans back and is like 'OOOOoooo that's so much better already'."
"Hadn't even given her the Lorazepam yet, smdh."- strawberrytaint
Everything Is Fine Reaction GIF by Tricia GraceGiphyDesperate Ways To Avoid Change...
"Obligatory not a doctor, but I got a call from my son's school nurse when he was in 2nd grade, and the conversation went like this:"
"Nurse sounding upbeat & cheerful says, 'your son wants to tell you his terrible news'."
"Son gets on the phone, says 'Hi mom, I cut my finger off'."
"I ask him, 'Where is your finger now?'"
"Son: 'I put it back on'."
"I said, 'Can I talk to the nurse?'"
"Nurse gets on the phone again, says, 'Sounds serious, right?'"
"I asked, 'does he have a substitute teacher today?'"
"Ahhhhh... yes."
"I told the nurse to let him know I will take him to the hospital for a shot for his finger, to which he says 'I think it's OK. I glued it on really good'."
"Nurse kept him in the office for a bit to talk about scary changes in the classroom."- cat9tail
Crying Wolf Ruins It For Everyone
"I don’t know why anyone would want to fake anything medical."
"Unconsciousness in particular."
"I got a compound fracture recently and called 911 on myself and was put on hold."
"Fun stuff."
"But got through and asked them to send help."
"Operator was a badass and kept asking me questions to keep me conscious."
"The ambulance folks arrive, casually got out of the ambulance, walk up to me and then saw the bone sticking out of my body, and said, quote, 'Oh! You’re actually hurt!'"
"YES! Did you think I called 911 because I spilled some lemonade?"
"Then it occurred to me that most of their calls must be horsesh*t."
"But to cause me even more confusion, I received close to a $2000 bill for the privilege of actual help and the ride to the hospital."
"That ludicrous bill is no fault of the EMS.
"I’m very much appreciative of their existence and they don’t get nearly enough credit, but the best part of receiving that bill?"
"The ambulance ride was roughly $1850."
"The fentanyl they gave me was $2.15."- KedaZ1
bart simpson run GIFGiphyCan You Repeat That?
"My sister is a pediatric audiologist and this is my favorite story of hers."
"Apparently, sometime in elementary school, usually the early grades, a ton of kids like to fake hearing loss."
"Like not just 'oh, I can’t hear the teacher'.”
"Full on, want to get hearing aids, etc."
"Anyway, she explained to me that based on the way she plays the tones, you can usually tell if someone is faking."
"Especially when they just pretend they can’t hear anything.'
"But it’s not 100%, obviously, because hearing loss patterns can be really weird."
"However, she’s caught a number of kids simply by saying, 'okay, so I’m going to play [a random number] of tones and they’ll go in both ears'."
"I want you to say ‘yes’ if you hear it and ‘no’ if you don’t'.”- rbickfor1988
People will likely continue to fake illness in order to get out of something till the end of time.
And power to anyone who can successfully dupe their doctor.
Though, there's anyone one should always be in a trusting, honest relationship with, it's the person in charge of making sure you're healthy.
Something to consider.
Redditor lixxie_lx wanted to hear about all the big and minuscule things that have us running for the hills, so they asked:
"What instantly makes you lose interest in a person?"
This is a major issue for me.
I lose interest at the speed of light.
Not Cute
rude kim kardashian GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy"Superiority complex. It’s fine to be confident, but if you need to put others down to feel that way you’re just insecure and it’s not cute."
CarlosTentacule
Growning Apart
"The moment I can tell that they aren’t trying. Either they aren’t all that interested in me or they expect me to do all of the 'work' so to speak. Either reason is a good enough one to step away."
Ok_Button1932
"I’m going through this as well. 5 year relationship, no kids thankfully and not married. We’ve had to do long distance the last few months and she’s essentially radio silent. Never calls and only texts back if I chase her."
"We trust each other implicitly and even share location but the lack of interest in even checking in with me or being affectionate unless I initiate it has me feeling so gaslit. I fear it’s something as simple as growing apart but neither person wanting to end it."
SavetheFollys
The Tease
"When I tell them I don't like something, or something makes me uncomfortable and they continue to do it intentionally as if it's flirting."
mtotheija
"Hardest breakup I ever had was because of a person's inability to stop f**king with me... it's not funny when someone says that it bothers them and you continue to do it."
"Everything else was really good it gave me huge self doubt that I was just being a whimp and she had a point that it was just teasing. Even got to the point that I thought that's just the way this give and take is gonna go in this relationship. Glad I decided to get out... I would have been miserable."
phreedumb21nyc21
Be Quiet
"Constantly talking sh*t about others and trying to boost their own ego."
uncultured_swine2099
"Yup, I thought I met a good person at first, but then she started talking sh*t about everyone, not to mention if I got something I wanted, instead of being happy for me, she becomes extremely jealous."
"The last straw was when she left me in the middle of the street and left without me for university even though she told me she was picking me up. Sadly, she's still friends with my sister, and she kinda has to be because they share so many classes, but I'm still trying to find a way to cut off all contact, which is harder than I thought would be."
The_Phantom_Soldier
I See You
Married At First Sight No GIF by LifetimeGiphy"Few things are 'instant' dealbreakers, but blatant displays of rudeness or condescension toward strangers when under stress is a big red flag. Like, I get that you are frustrated, but there is no need to be a d*ck."
MissBitsy
Why is kindness so arduous for some people?
Kindness First
hot dog waiter GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy"If they mistreat others, especially those who are in the service industries."
funtime2000
Stay in the moment...
"When they can't stop checking their mobile phones every few seconds while we are talking. I went out with a woman who would do that. After the 4th date I stopped going out with her and dated another woman. The former was surprised to know that."
"I said 'But girl, you're always on the phone while I talk to you, it makes me feel ignored you know' and she was angry/sad. But I'm not exaggerating when I say she was staring on that screen and sending voice messages and all that to other friends of her while we were dating."
GabrielOmarCY
Look Further
"Lack of curiosity/intellectual laziness. lack of empathy, excessively judgemental attitude, narcissism, treating others as subhuman, spewing hatred, excessive victim behavior, and/or unnecessary combativeness. Maybe I'm just picky."
SawgrassSteve
"Assuming that if they don't know it it isn't worth knowing/can't be interesting. Also adults - well into adulthood, whose excuse for not knowing something is that they weren't taught about it at school. If they taught you to read you can keep learning on your own, you know."
zeugma888
Hard No!
"It definitely (for me i’m talking friendships) depends on a couple things. how they respond to emotional situations (example is are they caring/comforting or being dismissive and not really trying to put anything into it?)... how they respond to boundaries, if they’re mean or judgmental of others, like if we were talking and walking and they randomly look at another person walking and insult them, that’s DEFINITELY a hard no."
chaoticwitchbrr
Tropes
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"The 'hard to get' trope. like its one thing if there actually isn't mutual interest but when there is and someone makes you feel like you're working for their time and consideration, forget it."
cherrycreams0da
Coin Chat
"Talking about money. Pitching me business ideas. Speaking ill of people they view as lesser. Always comparing things they associate with prestige, and never speaking about anything of real substance."
FoldedaMillionTimes
Have any of these things ever happened to you? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Ok_Security_8657 wanted to hear about the times we've had to suffer through, so they asked:
"What is the most painful thing you've ever experienced, *on purpose*?"
Let's see what stories Reddit had to contribute.
Twice?!
Season 2 Couch GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy"Novocaine doesn't work on me. For submarine service you have to have all of your wisdom teeth removed. The Navy does not use anything other than novocaine. They only pull two at a time though. I went back the second time."
LeepII
Salted
"I cut my thumb pretty bad years ago while using a knife in my kitchen. And looking at the salt shaker on the counter I got the idea to literally. Pour salt on a wound. It was like an electric shock was sent through my nervous system. A short but very intense feeling of pain. Use salt water/saline instead."
SidOfBee
"Technically it is an electric shock as salt has negative ion that if the condition is correct it would shock your nerves."
Kaperal
Feel It
"I have a friend who got a lung biopsy WITHOUT numbing and pain meds. She was 14. She said she wanted to 'feel it' like the biopsy on her knee (which did, in fact, use drugs). She says it was the most painful experience of her life. She had 26 cancerous tumors big enough to show up when on the scan of her lungs. She is happily married, alive and well, and a total bada**."
_ohhello
Welp
"I cut my arm open trying to catch a falling glass once. Saw the insides. To be thorough, I cleaned the wound by alternating squirting isopropyl alcohol and hydrogen peroxide in it. A little later my surgeon friend told me soap and water would have been good enough to clean it. Welp."
sbvp
"Next time use coffee grounds. I've also heard of people using chili powder but that seems like it'd be nasty."
Lordofdogmonsters
Motionless
Jake Johnson Pain GIF by New GirlGiphy"IUD fitting. Thought it was all fine because I didn't have too much pain during the procedure... 12 hours later I could not move from the pain and had to get my mum to deliver pain killers to my flat at 7am next morning bc I'd gone through everything we had."
Chance-Bread-315
Painkillers 24/7 for somethings please.
WHITE HOT AGONY
madeline kahn flames GIFGiphy"Recently, I had a couple plantars warts cut out of my feet. The shots they use to numb you suuuuck. Went right into the bottom of each of my feet under the big toes. WHITE HOT AGONY. Thankfully, the pain doesn't last very long, and the operation was pretty much painless after that."
NervousCap
Not Cool
"Getting my eyes washed after being Pepper sprayed. We were given a chance to experience the proper stuff while in military. My mind went 'Hell yeah, that will be cool!' Well, got sprayed, had to walk 5 meters to a person holding a water bottle so he could rinse my eyes. Motherf**ker had warm/hot water in the bottle and he poured it to my face."
"It burned even more and I got waterboarded at the same time."
"I've heard that you can experience pain that makes you fear you will die. Maybe, but at that moment I learned that you can feel pain that makes you fear that you might not die, and you have to suffer that pain."
Tit_U_Lum
Bad Removal
"The most painful experience of my life was passing a kidney stone, though whether or not it can be considered to have been experienced on purpose is debatable. I certainly contributed to its development through my choices, but that’s another story."
"On the other hand, I had an ingrown toenail removed before."
"After removing the entire side of the nail, the doctor chemically burned the exposed nail bed with a chemical called phenol. Even though my toe was entirely numb, it was the most white hot searing pain ever. It hurt so bad it took my breath away. The best part is that the toenail came back, and I’m getting it done again in two weeks."
Gordoniscool666
Truth Hurts
"Decided I had to tell the woman I fell in love with that I had feelings for her. I knew before I told her that she would reject me. She was not in a mentally healthy place and didn’t want to be with ANYONE. But I wanted her to know the truth. So I took the rejection like a man and we are still friends."
Horror-School-6713
Done
"Putting my wedding ring on our bedroom dresser (knowing my marriage was over) while my wife was across town doing a police officer she had met at the shooting range. I walked out of our house and have not spoken to or seen her since. That was over 40 years ago."
wyoflyboy68
Bye Bye
Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy"Putting my dog down. She passed in my arms. There's a song that I associate with her which I can't hear without tearing up, despite her exiting my life more than a decade ago."
GeebusNZ
These are some brave folks who have been through some enormous pain. We thank thank for sharing!
Do you have anything you'd like to add? Let us know in the comment section.
