"Lie detector test says....you are NOT the father". Stuff like this seems funny to us normal folk, but to doctors, this kind of thing is just a very real, very sad headache. Here are some stories that would make even Maury blush.
u/user_7061 asked: Doctors and nurses of reddit, have you ever witnessed a couple have a child that was obviously not the father's? What happened?
Did you talk to your mom?
Not a doctor, but my wife grew up in a really small town, but wasn't born there. When she got her first crush on a boy and told her best friend, the friend was like "Did you talk to your mom yet?"
Apparently, adultery was so wide spread in this area, it was common practice for girls to talk to their Mom about crushes and who the crushes' parents were so they didn't end up dating their half sibling....
Oh my GOD.Giphy
Had a mum to be who had narrowed the options for baby daddy down to her top three. She was having a c-section and didn't understand why all three potential dads couldn't come into theatre.
She then asked if we could rotate them through, and maybe she'd let the one that was there when baby came out be the 'real daddy'. Took all my professionalism to smile politely.
A hospital where I was a Med student had a baby born with Hydrops, which is where a baby gets two bad copies of a red blood cell gene, one from each parent. Baby died shortly after birth.
Parents came in for genetic counselling and testing revealed the woman's husband did not carry the alpha thalassaemia gene. The couple asked what was the chance another baby of theirs would have this condition the doctors were honest and told them "zero percent". They left it at that.inityowinit
Pretty sus if you ask me.
My brothers best friend didn't resemble his father while growing up, so he became more and more suspicious. The father eventually did a DNA test (when my brothers friend was 11 or 12) and found out it's not his. The parents split up with the older daughter (16) going with the father because she resembled him so he was sure about her.
Fun times in Alaska.Giphy
I worked in a restaurant right after high school, and there was a couple who worked there too. When the girlfriend got pregnant, she dipped out on him and moved back to her family in Alaska.
After a month or so the boyfriend got enough cash together to follow her. He dropped out of college and got a job on her dad's fishing boat to support his new family.
Months later the baby is born and it becomes more obvious why the girl took off, because they're both white and that baby was black.
A busy year!
I'm a midwife. I once had a woman come to my clinic unannounced (she wasn't my patient but I'm NHS so saw her anyway) She had a man with her, she knew she was about 3 months pregnant but hadn't come for any antenatal care.
I asked if she'd had sex the night before (she'd come in because she'd had a little bleeding) I looked at the partner as mum said yes and he said "nothing to do with me - I'm just the baby daddy" Turns out she had a new boyfriend at home, this was just the guy she'd been with 3 months before.
I popped her up on the table to examine her and straight away had to tell her that she was actually about 5 months along but I would arrange a scan to confirm. The dude just got up and walked out.
Turns out there was a third guy 5 months ago.
My mum's friend has three sons to her ex husband. Two of them look like him, the second one looks a lot like the man she left her husband for... But of course they didn't get together until AFTER she divorced her husband...
Doesn't help how her new partner very clearly has a favourite kid.
Classic sitcom humor.Giphy
Had 2 women deliver on the same unit, same baby daddy. He would go back and forth between rooms.
I thought there's no use getting into heavy petting....
Not a doctor but I worked in adoptions. A couple showed up wanting to discuss adoption. She was so obviously pregnant.
The catcher, she and he both insisted that they had never had sex of any kind. Only "heavy petting" and they assume some semen had traveled through clothing.
I don't know what happened because they never came back.
This is an assumption, but my assumption was that she had had sex with someone, just not the man she was in a committed relationship with.
I was a nurse for a urologic surgeon, so lots of vasectomies. Guy came in pissed off that he had gotten his wife pregnant after his vas - he had never originally followed up to make sure his swimmers were dead.
Doc had him leave a sample to look under the microscope. Went back to the exam room and told him his vas had been successful. Guy just walked out.