Drugs will do things to you... sometimes bad things and sometimes good things. When we are given legal doses for surgery it's all okay... in so many ways.
Redditor u/electric_dolphin wanted doctors to share a few stories by asking.... Anesthesiologists, what are the best things people have said under the gas?
Happened today. Patient has a broken ankle fixed and was coming out of anesthesia when he was being wheeled out. The anesthesiologist accidentally hit the door frame on the way out.
Patient: did you just do surgery on my leg?
Anesthesiologist: yes you had surgery and are waking up from it.
Patient: then why are you running into things. Doc___2020
Not an anesthesiologist but my tight laced, extremely christian great grandma apparently asked "who the hell is that ugly son of a b***h?" while she was waking up from a surgery. The person she was referring to? Her preacher who stopped by to check up on her. She never lived that one down. The story was even told at her funeral. She was kinda strict but she was a great lady with a great sense of humor. RecoveringBulimic
Not gas, but right after giving midazolam I had a patient say "WOW, this feels like the 70's!" and have had quite a few old men ask me out on a date before passing out a few seconds later. -karrde
Speak to Me.
I had surgery last year and when waking up they had a communal room where around 7-8 people would all be waking up at the same time before being sent to individual rooms for some reason. I remember waking up slowly and hearing someone else being asked if they wanted some water. For some reason this really excited me. Like, there was nothing more in the entire world I wanted than to be asked if I wanted water. I practically yelled (or as much as I could yell in that state) "Hey, ask me if I want water!" and I'm pretty sure it came out in a "let me speak to your manager tone," but I was just so excited about the water. OAMP47
Keep your day job...Giphy
My anesthesiologist tried to calm me down with a joke when I was a little kid being put under. My mom later told me about how I apparently commented on the joke being not at all funny and how I hoped he was more talented as a doctor. CoreCorg
Woke up after wisdom teeth surgery alone in a small recovery room. I called out for my mom and dad and when they didn't immediately come to my side, I called out for Captain Kirk. arassel
I was coming out of general anesthesia after a surgery to repair a broken leg. I woke up in my room with about a dozen very caring, kind friends and relatives who had all come to see that I was ok. I looked around, saw everyone giving craps about me, said, "F**k this!" (loudly and very clearly), and went right back to sleep. My friends thought it was hilarious. My mom was mortified. ebimbib
After getting my wisdom teeth removed I looked at my mother-in-law and said, "How did you get on my rocketship?" autofillmesomething
High & Away!
I'm an anesthesiologist. I was recently taking care of a 17 year old kid and he looks at me and says "dude, I am high as Hell!" They almost never remember it afterward. swordfishde
During my wisdom teeth surgery they were playing music, and Billy Jean comes on. I said "Glad Michael Jackson could join us," and that was the last thing I remember. ohmahjah
The Brave Boy.
My 9 y/o son going under for his MRI that would show if he would need his right leg amputated at the hip. Just as he slipped under, "Im a brave boy, Im a brave boy..."
Damn, broke me then, breaks me now typing this. What a kid. RevNeutron
I'm a MANIAC!
I had a colonoscopy just last month and the lady who administered the propofol and I had a brief conversation like this:
Me: "How long is that gonna take to kick in?"
Her: "You'll be out in less than 10. I always win." (with a big grin on her face)
I started to feel it immediately after that and followed with:
"You'll never take me down!"
I then recall laughing like A MANIAC, followed by nothing. I think her quip about always winning and obviously the propofol got me good haha. PeeepNTom
I was semi awake during a hand surgery. The only person I could see was the anesthesiologist. I remember telling him some jokes while I lay there. Then I remember hearing the doctor chuckle on the other side of the curtain, followed by "Would you put her the f**k out!" Then blackness.
I often have wondered if my hand would work better now if I weren't so damn hilarious. laustcozz
Not an anesthesiologist but was a tech. Had a patient wake up violently. When he came to he said, "sorry, I thought I was a shark." janski12
Love me some Gatorade.
When I came out of surgery at 14 I told everyone I was fine and just felt like a gatorade. Mum got it for me, opened the lid and handed it over, I took it and maintaining direct eye contact with her I tipped it upside down no where near my mouth. Got gatorade all over me and was super confused, that's where my memory ends. Mum tells me after looking briefly confused I just shrugged and settled back down to fall asleep. lyrarose24
Anesthesiologist here, I was once transporting a patient to the ICU after surgery, in which he got some ketamine, and he was rocking out the entire way there with his air guitar. camierz
Backstory: I have epilepsy and a vegal nerve stimulator to control the seizures. It works wonders. From 3 to 4 seizures a week to almost none a year.
I went in for the replacement of my device. Going under I looked at my mother and started laughing hysterically. She asked what was funny. I said she had horns. And as I was coming out of all the drugs the nurse was kind of a jacka** to me so I said, "oh man the next time I puke I'm gonna puke on you." I did. He said, "man your aim is good, I'm not even mad at you."
Edit: dude silver! Thank you whoever you are that's awesome!!! msgkila
Magic Carpet Ride.
Two of my fav, both patients coming out of anesthesia:
"Am I in hell?" I responded "no you're not, you're just in recovery ...that sounds like something the devil would say. Count backwards from 100 to prove it."
Or the one who stroked my unshaved arm while I was trying to keep him from pulling at his IV, and muttered "you'd make such a great carpet."
ETA: yikes you people really like hairy arm carpets. Reddit
Flush it Out.Giphy
Not anesthesia, but patient was heavily sedated in ICU, nurse gave an enema, half conscious response: "honey you know I don't like it that way." backroundagain
Plug it In!
In high school I had a reconstructive surgery on my knee as I tore my ACL and meniscus in a sports injury. After the surgery I woke up in post op, which was a fairly large room with probably 6 to 7 other patients in beds waiting to become conscious again. I was lying there all groggy and confused when two nurses walked over pushing one of those carts with a computer on it. They stood over me and were typing into the computer when one nurse said to the other in a sort of frantic whisper "we've got to plug this thing in or this one is going to die!" Naturally, semi conscious me thought that the "thing" was me and I started to incoherently yell for the nurses to unplug whatever they needed to in order to find an outlet to keep me alive.
Turns out it was the battery on the laptop that was going to die. Apparently the death rate for an ACL repair is pretty low. dreadpirateryan13