When it comes to this new baby... you are NOT the father. Some guys handle that news well, others not so much. What's so remarkable is how many expecting parents don't seem to understand how sex works.
a_13uldge asked doctors and nurses of Reddit: Have you ever witnessed a couple have a child that was obviously not the father's? If so, what happened?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
I worked labor and delivery. Had a very young mother come in, accompanied by her parents. She was just and parents looked stuffy and kept telling her should've had an abortion, she was too young, etc. Her mother was silent the whole time but leaked tears for her constantly. While she labored, I received a call from a very young boy who said he was her boyfriend. His trembly voice explained that her father wouldn't come to the hospital. I explained that I couldn't give out information but he could talk to her afterward.I went in, told her he had called and she showed me a picture of him. He was white, straight red hair, pimply and tiny--the runt of the litter.
About an hour later, her phys ed teacher stopped by to check on her, which I thought was odd. We didn't get many teachers checking on students. He was as opposite of the boyfriend as he could get: tall, very muscular, beautiful smile, and rich, chocolate brown skin. The girl's father accompanied her to the delivery room. Odd, but ok. The more she pushed, the louder she cried. In between, she kept sayng, "sorry daddy." Finally, out slid a very beautiful, chocolate brown baby boy. I thought her father was going to pass the Fuck out on my delivery room floor. I did my usual "it's a boy!" And said nothing else. I handed him off to a nursery nurse and got dad a chair. The new mom said "I'm sorry daddy," over and over again. Her mom, now frowned up, came to see the baby, took one look, started asking God for forgiveness, and left. I sent her dad home a short bit later, admonishing him to react at home, not here. I set up a time for our counselor to meet with him before I left. After talking to new mom, she admitted her gym teacher had been giving her "special treatment." Two weeks later, with her world shattered, her baby was given up for adoption. I wish her the best. Of note, this was 1989.
Ugh. I've been reading this thread every now and then today and this one is seriously one of the worst ones I've read. It seems like the poor thing didn't even realize that something bad had happened to her. I hope she's ok and not suffering too much!!!
My husband and I were visiting our friends who'd just had a baby (we are the godparents) and we were standing in the hallway talking to both sets of grandparents. Well, apparently the hospital has a rule that only 5 visitors may be present in the hallway, but the security guard had let all 6 of us in for some reason and we didn't realize it. This nasty nurse comes up to us, notes that there are six of us, tells us someone will have to leave immediately, and then turns to my husband and says, "Oh, are you the daddy?" Without missing a beat, he says, "That's what we're all trying to figure out here." She gets a look of horror on her face and backs away.
That's hilarious, how did the grandparents react?
They couldn't stop laughing. It was their first grandson and all of the nurses were amazing, except for this one who was determined to make it into a miserable experience by wielding her power at every turn. They loved it!
Worked in the army hospital on Fort Lewis. A woman came in for belly pain and we found out and told her she was 10 weeks pregnant. The husband at the bedside started laughing, grabbed his coat and left the room explaining to us that he had been in Afghanistan until 3 weeks prior. He looked back and her and just said "well that's that Brittany."
I always liked how classily he left her while she just silently stared off into space.
When my son was born they took my blood and his for a paternity test... My wife flipped... The nurse explained that if my son came back not mine they would have to ship her off to a local civilian hospital per whatever regulation they had to follow (army hospital). She still talks about it to this day.
I had a vasectomy. While chatting with the doctor, he told me about another patient. This guy had three kids and came in for the snip-snip because he and his wife decided they were done having children.
The doc opened up his sack and found nothing to snip. This guy was born without the ability to have any children. The poor doctor had to explain to him what happened.
Imagine finding that out that way.
Yipes. And I thought my stepmother having to tell my father she was pregnant after his first vasectomy was bad.
I was born 4 years after my Dad had a vasectomy. I am 100% verified his. Sh*t just happens sometimes.
Thou who doth protest too much...
One of my favorite cousins just did 23andMe with her dad, and discovered that they were not biologically related at all. This is especially horrible because my aunt (her mother) is one of the most ridiculously zealous and judgmental people I have ever met. She screams at the baby cousins when they don't behave perfectly, she literally threw a pocket Bible at a woman in a grocery store after the woman was on the phone and said "sh*t" or something, and she likes to send me unsolicited long letters about "God's plan" for my life. Surprisingly, her husband is the most fun and laid-back person I've ever met. He did not deserve this, or her.
The guilt is real.
I have an aunt who I suspect cheated on my uncle and had a daughter who looks NOTHING like him.
Any time this woman and I are in the same room, from the time I was 14 or so, she brings up birth control. Mind you I was very awkward and not having sex in high school, and now I'm 28 with a husband and 2 year old and she STILL brings up birth control and God in the same sentence. I've always speculated it's her guilt over something.
Half-twins are a thing.
I learned about heteropaternal superfecundation from a friend of mine. She is a 5'0 blonde white girl introducing me to her 6'5 black twin. Surprises for everyone that day.
That's the term for the twins in my elementary school! They were born the same day, as twins, and raised as brothers, but one was black as night and the other white with blonde hair.
Reasons to not keep the evidence.
Not in the hospital, but a friend and his GF were on again/off again and she got pregnant. She swears it's his, he wants a paternity test. He moves in with her and her Mom, she has the baby, take the test. Test is taking a while to come back, him and his family are over the moon with the baby, kinda forget about it. Mentions it to GFs Mom one day and she says "oh yeah, she didn't tell you? Came back awhile ago, totally your baby!" Awesome, all is well! A few months later they're moving out and he finds the test in a box, not his baby 😳
ETA ~ He left, tried to stay in the babies life but she wouldn't let him.
he finds the test in a box
Why would you keep the damn test???
Kiinda obvious eh?
Oh man, I'm so late to this thread! I used to work in the newborn nursery at a hospital. We got the babies right from delivery, cleaned them up, footprinted them, checked vitals, etc. Dads usually came in with the newborns. This dad comes in with this baby. Dad is white, mom is white, baby is very obviously not white. The dad was very quiet standing next to this baby, watching us clean it up. He says quietly, "I don't think this is my baby." You could tell he was absolutely devastated. We advised him not to sign the birth certificate until he was sure. Not sure what happened after we sent the baby back out to mom, but I felt awful for the guy.
Poor dad. Expecting to raise a child just to find out his wife had cheated and the child isn't even his...
"He walks out with a smirk."
My best friend was dating a girl and knocked her up. They got engaged, and planned to get married right after the baby was born. There were about 10 of us in the waiting room waiting for her to crank out the baby. It was essentially her parents (his were in another state), some of her friends, and some of ours. After sitting there for about 2 hours, he walks out with a smirk on his face and says "let's go," and we all thought something horrible had happened. Her friends ask how the baby is, and he said "fine, but black". He motioned for us to go, so we followed him. In the parking garage, he tells us to follow him to his apartment, then sends me a text asking I could put him up for a while. We literally moved him out of his apartment and into my spare bedroom in like an hour tops. Her parents didn't know who to be mad at. The confusion on their faces when he told them the baby was black was priceless.
What a legend.
I was blood typing a newborn once. Mom was an O+, baby was AB+... Which is more or less not possible. I immediately panicked, because Jesus God they mixed up the babies. Someone has the wrong baby. We're gonna get sued, they're gonna have to genetic test the entire nursery, what if they subpoena me for being the idiot who discovered the problem? I don't have insurance, what if they sue me?!
After repeating the test three times I called the floor and told them that they'd either drawn the wrong baby's blood, or they'd switched babies because Mom couldn't be the baby's mother.
No, it was a donor egg. The redraw matched fine, everyone was where they were supposed to be. Oh god my heart, though!
You'd think they might mention something important like that.
I work in anesthesia. One of my colleagues had someone vaginally deliver a baby with "Steve's Lunchbox" tattooed above the "birth canal." The OB/GYN said to the father after the delivery, "Congratulations Steve." The guy replied that his name was indeed not Steve. Don't know if that counts.
That was a really poor tattoo choice.
If one is at the point where they get a tattoo like that, I can guaran-damn-tee you that wasn't their first poor choice...
Good to know.
My wife is an RN/Hospital Supervisor. Code Yellow is the code over the intercom for security/large male nurses needed. It rarely ever happens but every now and then over the speakers you hear a "Code Yellow, Labor and Delivery." You know the reason.
From reading other subs, I'd guess sometimes it's also family (grandmas to be) who won't leave the delivery room or labor ward.
I used to work with a guy whose wife was pregnant. Near time for delivery every one at our place of business had a big party with gifts, money, etc.
So big day comes, water breaks, they get in car to go to hospital. She breaks the news on the way there it's not his, the kid is another race, and if he could just drop her off at the hospital and then leave, that would be great.
He took a few days off work, found a new apartment, moved out, filed divorce etc. he called in to work and told someone what happened, news spread pretty fast. All congratulations cards, etc were cleaned up and thrown away. Every one was very sensitive to his pain.
Except, somehow, I don't know how, I did not get the news.
So on his first day back, I walked into the office he shared with 6-7 other guys and said "Hey hey, Daddio, how's fatherhood so far? Getting any sleep? Got some pictures? Let's see the little tike!"
He slowly lifted his head to look at me with a painful look. The room was dead silent. One of his workmates stood up, grabbed my arm and walked me out of the room, shushing me. "What happened, " I asked, "Did it die? What's the problem?"
When he told me I about died myself. I still feel bad for the dude and it's been 30 years.
I'm sure this will work out.
I'm not a nurse, my professor was an L&D nurse and she once saw a man running between two delivery rooms. Both women he had impregnated went into labor and gave birth the same day. Supposedly the one he was married to was angry because the woman he cheated with was impregnated after the wife but had her kid ten minutes before the wife.
L&D is apparently the most drama filled section of hospitals. My SO is planning to be a nurse and he's going to work in L&D/neonatal this year and I'm excited to hear any dramatic stories.
This happened when we went in to wait for my sister to give birth! Both families were there and it was super awkward. Fortunately he was not even dating either girl that was in there having his baby.
Had a lesbian couple come in. One of them was pregnant, neither knew. Judging from all the screaming, this information was poorly received.
I see this pretty often in the ER where I work. I really didn't expect to see pregnant lesbian couples all the time. Some appear to be okay with it, like maybe it was planned or something. Others though...it's obvious the partner is salty about it.