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Doctors Share The Worst Homemade 'Cures' Their Patients Have Tried

Doctors Share The Worst Homemade 'Cures' Their Patients Have Tried
National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

There's a reason doctors get paid so much. It's because they're really the only ones who can help you in a medical emergency.

Web MD is not going to help you with an accurate diagnosis, guessing at what you have and taking medicine for it rarely works, and if you are not a medical professional, you should not try to cure yourself. Period.

Many people swear by home remedies, and while some of these homemade concoctions can fortify you and strengthen your immune system, and may work for the common cold, they are not a proper solution to illness.

If you are sick, you should go to a doctor. These homemade cures you're about to read about are not only silly, but also dangerous.

Learn from the mistakes of your fellow humans.


Redditor PatrioticRomaniac asked:

"Doctors, what is the worst homemade "cure" a patient used for their illness?"

At The Cost Of A Foot

"An older woman with a big, gaping foot ulcer visited her family in Indonesia. Her sister took her to a spiritual healer, who instructed her to make an ointment and apply it to the ulcer. The ointment included herbs, sheep urine, olives, human hair. The day after applying the ointment, she was to cleanse the ulcer in the ocean. After a few weeks of this, the ulcer would heal."

"Obviously it did not heal and a rare mycoplasma bacteria found only in the ocean grew in her wound, and she lost her foot."

– manlikerealities

Needless Loss

"I knew someone who got cancer and decided to starve it instead of taking chemo. First results after the 40-day fast were promising but not for long. He died in less than a year. The sad part is, the survival rate with chemo for this type of cancer is really high and it was detected quite early"

– bibba747

Double Lies

"Had the fortunate luck to be privy to a patient's super duper secret way of getting rid of leg cramps at night. Get a cork, not just any cork though, it must be from a bottle of red wine, and tuck it in between your toes at night. He was very sure that was the cure that Big Pharma wasn't telling us. Completely irrelevant that he started taking a magnesium supplement at the same time as his new found super cure of toe-cork-fondling. So Big Pharma, if you're reading this, we all know now."

– SakuraFerretTrainer

Soup To Zits

"Dermatologist here, dude was trying to get rid of his papulopustulose acne with a homemade mask, which consisted of a mix of betametasone ointment, honey, cream cheese, yogurt, banana, and make-up in cream for "color"

"So many bad things here and the dude developed a nodular cystic acne after 3 or so applications, which he did daily because of course."

"Who suggested this abomination? Various YouTube videos and his own initiative of mixing everything in a bowl to cure faster"

– an_annoyed_jalapeno

The Wrong Seasoning

"I took my daughter to the Dr for a recurring ear infection when she was about four. The Dr took one look in her ear and asked me if I had seen her putting any foreign objects into her ears and I said no. He then took some tweezers and pulled out a small piece of what turned out to be garlic. I told him I had no idea how it got there, he said it was definitely making her ear infections worse. Turns out that her Dad and stepmom had heard that garlic oil can help cure infections and they didn't have any, so instead of taking my daughter to the doctor like they should have, they literally just shoved a small clove of garlic in my daughter's ear and left it there."

– starmama90

What Does "Reasonable" Mean Anymore

"i'm a pharmacist who works in an ER. I had a woman come in for chest pain and when I was interviewing her for her medication history, she was telling me how bad the pain was that she took EVERYTHING in her medicine cabinet. I asked her to list what she has in her medicine cabinet/what she took. The list went: Tylenol (acetaminophen) 2 tablets, Advil (ibuprofen) 2 tablets, Aspirin 2 tablets , heroin 1-2 points, Gravol... At which point I kind of had to go: hold up - you used how many points of what? And the patient very matter-of-factly stated that she came in because the heroin didn't help with the pain at all. Which in some ways I guess was a pretty reasonable course of action - since she came in since the heroin didn't work."

– moxifloxacin25

Burns In The Third Degree

"Nurse here. I used to work in a rural magnet hospital in the South. Had a patient who was there because he'd gotten athletes foot and decided to use an old mountain remedy: soak your feet in vinegar, lemon juice, and BOILING WATER to kill the fungus."

"In fairness, the original remedy probably called for merely hot water, but the guy went a little overboard with the temperature. He gave himself some nice bilateral third-degree burns on his feet. BUT there was no sign of any athletes foot, so he had that going for him, which was nice..."

– withinyouwithoutyou3

Slippery Kitty

"Not a doctor but my vet friend once had a client rub butter all over her cat in hopes that the cat would lick it off because the cat had stopped eating."

– PookSpeak

There Should Be A Test To Have Kids

"Doctor in the family told me an infant was brought into the ER incredibly ill, shaking, and vomiting from her day care. she had a huge oral ulcer in her mouth that her mom tried to cure by killing the bacteria but they were out of mouthwash so she diluted vodka in apple juice. She had the "can i see the manager" hair cut and threw a huge fit when CPS was called."

– suitology

Yes, This Makes Total Sense

"my sister one twisted her ankle, what does my Middle Eastern mom do? She wrapped a raw egg on her ankle. My sister went to the doctor 3 days after."

– wumbowing64

Maybe It Was A Different Vegetable?

"Not a doctor but when I had mono my mother put a fucking cut onion next to my bed and said it would suck in all the bacteria and I would be fine in a few days. Ended up having mono for almost a month and got strep for two weeks directly afterwards."

– GodOfBeverages

Burn Them Away

"Not a doctor, but I used to get warts on my hands and feet. We couldn't afford a doctor, so my dad used to just put out cigarettes on them until they went away."

– irrelevant_usernam3

Wait, Really?

"One of my attending physicians from residency did his training in West Virginia and had a patient come in to the ER saying she had leaves coming out of her vagina. He goes to do an exam and there actually were leaves coming out and he pulls out a potato. Turns out she had a pretty significant prolapse (uterus/bladder drop) and she had been used it to fix the prolapse and forgot about it!"

– Hufflepuff1024

This Is Nuts!

"Not a doctor, but a child who survived a hair brained remedy idea."

"To begin, I should explain that I have very very VERY thick hair. I have broken brushes in half getting through tangles. I have to use elastic headbands as ponytails because regular ponytails snap."

"THICK HAIR."

"At one point when I was a kid, lice was going around the school. This happens. However, even after emptying several full bottles of medicated lice shampoo on my head, my hair was so thick they just kept keeping on."

"My mother (whom I have a whole buttload of various horror stories of and emotional baggage from) and my aunt (same) get together and put on the ole’ thinking caps."

"What could kill these stubborn lice?"

"Rubbing alcohol? Nearly killed me, With my asthma, but not the bugs..."

"Then they struck idiot gold."

"Somehow they reasoned that they should use Kerosene."

"They absolutely DREMCHED my head in the stuff."

"No matter how much I washed my hair for the next month, it smelled like the stuff. I was terrified of open flames like no rational person should be."

"Lice did die though."

"This was done forcibly to me again as a teenager. It worked once, it’ll work twice, right?"

"Yeah....still half expecting to end up with skin cancer on my scalp..."

– itsaplatypi

I Think She'll Have Bigger Problems Soon

"My coworker told me she and her daughter Uses Vick’s vaporub on their eyeballs to treat some allergy related symptoms."

– Gunslinger_11

Gee, I Wonder...

"Not a doctor but support people quitting smoking. One client didn't understand why pouring orange juice in her ear daily wasn't working"

– gbell11

...Huh?

"This is similar, but it's the doctor instead of the patient. Once, we had the doctor try and help a patient with a sore throat. He bashed her neck with a shoe before escaping. His reasoning was that she can't have a sore neck if she has no neck, which I guess is right... we found him at Home Depot looking for a "pointer doctor stick""

– Ryan-The-Movie-Maker

Condiments Aren't Cures

"I'm a Paramedic and my partner told me the worst he has ever seen was for a burn patient. He said that he saw a teenager hobbling towards him covered in a bunch of white gooy gunk. So apparently homeboy was out in the country trying to start a big bonfire and he first decided to douse his big bundle with some gasoline before tossing a match in. Well it caught real fast and he got a big ol flash burn across his whole body. His momMa apparently use to be a "certified nurse" and covered him in mayonnaise because that would help treat the burn."

"Yeah nah, all she did was introduce a fu*kton of infection into his body and make it much more excruciating for him when my partner had to wipe it off of him and place burn bandages on him while they transported him to the hospital."

– acherem13

Google is not a licensed doctor, y'all! Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments.

person holding photo of three girls near chainlink fence
Anita Jankovic on Unsplash

Life is all about learning new things, including learning new things about the people in your life. Sometimes, the things you learn are shocking, disgusting, or even scary.

I was the new kid in town when I was in fifth grade and my first friend was this quiet (and cute) boy in my class. He and I remained friends through middle school, and even though we drifted apart in high school, our interactions when we ran into each other in the halls or the cafeteria were really nice.

All throughout school and even beyond, he remained quiet, polite, and reserved. Just a few years ago, I read a news article written about him. He had apparently fatally wounded his father after an argument.

I had to reread the article several times to make sure it was really about my old friend. I think about it a lot, and still can't believe it!

I'm not the only one that has a shocking story like that. A lot of Redditors learned shocking or scary things about people from their childhood, and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor ValuableHovercraft90 asked:

"What's the scariest thing you have found out about someone from your childhood (old friends, teachers, etc)?"

So Creepy

"That the boy who lived across the street and moved when I was 6 is still obsessed with me and my sister 30+ years later and posts ramblings on Facebook with our names and that he's going to be with us. Pretty terrifying honestly."

– mrscrawfish

The Worst List

"A neighbour died when he was 30. Police searched a trailer he owned and found weapons, bombs and a list of people he wanted to kill. My uncle was on that list."

– Flashy_Somewhere_648

"I'm glad this ended the way it did."

– CreepyCandidate4449

Terrifying

"One of my best friends (and locker partner) from high school was kidnapped by terrorists in Iraq. After a nightmare of 6+ months, all went silent. We buried an empty casket in his memory 10 years later."

– francois_du_nord

"This is horrifying. How incredibly sad for family to never get any closure. Very sad to read this. :("

– fizzycherryseltzer

"About 15 years ago my dad received a very good offer for work in Iraq, as a construction specialist. He was considering going, since at the same time the financial crisis started in Europe, but then one of his friends, a civil engineer, was kidnapped. Never returned back either."

– 19lgkrn70

"Same thing for my dad old coworker told him how great the money was. Dude got sniped working on a radio tower or something. My dad luckily was like, "I got a wife and family that would kill me for doing something so dangerous.""

– tristanjones

End Of The Friendship

"One of my dad's good friends, and my "uncle", just stopped coming around one day. I was told he was always busy with work, away, etc."

"Turns out, he killed 3 people in a drug deal gone bad and got life in prison."

"What's scary, is that we were over at his house for a weekend BBQ with a bunch of people earlier in the day of the night he did it, and it happened at his house."

– pnwking509

School Friends

"Don't know if it was scary, but I grew up with a kid whose birthday was the day before mine so we almost always shared birthdays in elementary school. We were friends, even spent the night at his house growing up. Later on in our teens, he started getting into some really dark stuff. I recognize that now as his being a sociopath, but like most everybody else at the time, figured it was just him going through some kind of emo phase. Over the years, we lost touch but I would occasionally run into him around town and our meetings were cordial, if not friendly."

"Last year, he was sentenced to 35 years in prison for killing a man back in 1993, roughly 3 years after we got out of High School. Apparently he, his sister and another man lured this guy out to the boonies and killed him to steal money he had gotten in an insurance settlement."

"The only reason they were caught is the other guy got religion, felt remorse and went on the local TV station and aired a confession before turning himself in (He got 25 to life)."

– 530_Oldschoolgeek

"A girl I went to school with did the same thing. She was the nicest girl, got good grades & was kind of a dork. Mixed with the wrong people after graduation. She and two others lured an old man into an abandoned building, stabbed him and robbed him. He later died from his wounds."

– HereF0rTheSnacks

The Worst Afternoon

"I had a friend in grade school who was being raised by her single dad. She had a unique name and pretty face. She never talked about her mom, and she was super outgoing, so all us kids just made friends with her quickly. It was weird her dad never brought her to our birthday parties, even though she was always invited, but we didn’t think much of it. A couple times, she was allowed to ride the bus home with me after school, and we played and had fun until her dad came to pick her up. Later in the school year, she invited me to ride the bus to her house, and my mom agreed. I was 10. It was the scariest afternoon of my young life. I cannot articulate the extreme tension in her home. We weren’t allowed to make any noise, and we mostly stayed outside, me desperate for my mom to arrive."

"Her dad screamed at us for opening the door, and I was too nervous to go into the house to use the restroom. I knew she was embarrassed that there were no snacks or comforting interactions, like at my house. I didn’t really tell anyone how uncomfortable the experience was. After that day, I didn’t hang out with her a lot. We were in different classes, drifted apart, and decades later, when my own daughter asked to go to a friend’s house, I thought about that girl."

"As an adult, I figured out her dad probably worked a night shift and tried to sleep during the day…or he was an alcoholic who was really angry. Maybe both? I looked her up on social media, and thanks to her unique name and face, I recognized her immediately. She’s a perfectly well-adjusted woman with a beautiful family. She even had pictures of her kids with her dad and tributes to him as the greatest father and grandpa. Her whole page made me wonder what the hell I experienced that afternoon in the 4th grade?"

– OlderAndTired

School Is Supposed To Be Safe!

"In our school, we had something called "de halte." In English, it means "the halt" literally translated. Basically time out. BIf you had a meltdown in class or you were just a little sh*thead, you were sent there for 15 minutes or so to cool off.

The de hatle teacher got fired and jailed for breaking 4 different wrists of 4 different students by bending them the wrong way..."

– Ok_Win7358

*Skin Crawling*

​"There was this classmate a grade below me but all grades shared the same drama class. She was weird and kind of "off." I tried to befriend her at one point and was rebuffed. It later came out that she was actually an almost 30-year-old woman who would show up in a new area claiming to be a 15-year-old runaway. Kind of freaked me out."

jackfaire

It turns out it was a good thing that the friendship didn't work out!

Group of people dining out at a restaurant
Dan Gold on Unsplash

When we think of the term "red flags," we're quick to think of red flags that might appear in a problematic or abusive relationship.

But red flags can appear in any place in our life, especially the workplace or places that consumers frequent, like big box stores and restaurants.

When it comes to restaurant red flags, these are important to note, as they could have a negative impact on a consumer's health.

Redditor FlintTheDad asked:

"What's an immediate red flag at a restaurant?"

Fair Enough

"When you see the owner breaking apart frozen chicken on the curb outback."

- Mourning-Poo

High Humidity

"High humidity inside."

- Presitigious_Gold_585

"Yes! The small that causes is unmistakable."

- TemperatureTop246

Sticky Furniture

"All of the furniture and menus are weirdly sticky..."

- Silver_Sunshine360

"I know what *some* of that is. Some furniture and cleaning solutions aren't compatible. The cleaning spray reacts with the finish on the table tops, and softens, it, which makes it feel a bit sticky, and dulls it super fast... but it's the sanitizer cleaner they use for *everything*, and they don't want to have to deal with a separate cleaner for certain surfaces."

"I used to sell commercial office furniture, and we'd run into this issue sometimes. The worst was when a company asked us to source some tables they found from a local craftsman (since we were already an approved vendor in their system, they often had us buy and deliver stuff for them). Beautiful, hand-made stuff."

"So we bought them and arranged for the delivery and placement. When we got to the site and saw where they wanted them, I cringed... I knew the tables were finished in shellac, and they were having us put them in their lounge area, where I knew they often had events with drinks."

"Shellac dissolves in alcohol. Spilling a drink on it can ruin the finish. Before we left, I left a note on the tables about being careful and emailed the client some care tips. The NEXT DAY they sent us pictures of the ruined finish, asking, 'What is wrong with our tables?!'"

- NecroJoe

Sounds Fishy

"A seafood restaurant should NOT smell fishy."

- turtyurt

"And conversely, a seafood MARKET that does not smell fishy is indeed fishy."

- FourMeterRabbit

A Specific Smell

"That *smell.*"

"You know the one. floors feel a little slippery/slimy underfoot and it smells like they've been mopping the place with the same dirty mop and bucket water for weeks."

"This isn't something you're likely to see in a nice place but I've encountered it in more fast-casual dining places than I care to remember."

- y2knole

"THAT smell. It always reminds me of yeast rolls. I guess it's bacteria in the mop water that has been setting in that bucket for three days."

- SpeelingChamp

Restroom Cleanliness

"Dirty restrooms."

- carboncanyondesign

"This is a dead giveaway. If they can't keep part of the restaurant that the public DOES see clean, you can imagine how the non-public facing parts look."

- OkaySureBye

"Health inspector here. The key is to look for build-up that looks like it's been there more than a day. Most places don't have bathroom attendants and it's unrealistic to expect public bathrooms to be spotless every minute of the day."

- Vives_solo_una_vez

The Right Audience

"Whenever I have friends come to visit me in Osaka and they're dying to try some authentic ramen. My goto line is:"

"'Look for the most run-down looking, back ally shack you can, the more run-down looking; the better. Guaranteed It'll be the best ramen you'll ever have!'"

"And to anyone who happens to read this, no, Ichiran is NOT the best reman joint. It's nice don't get me wrong but please ask around, research ramen in the area you're visiting, I guarantee you there's SO much better out there!"

- kevo998

"I look for people of that ethnicity eating there. Mexican restaurant with only white people? It might be good. Mexican restaurant with Mexicans wearing high-vis shirts? S**t's going be fire. Bonus points if there’s a grocery store attached."

"The same thing goes for Asian restaurants sans the high-vis shirts."

- PsychoticMessiah

Too Many Variables

"A huge menu."

- dnb_4eva

"A huge VARIED menu."

"Places like Chinese, Mexican, and Indian restaurants generally have large menus, but most items use the same base ingredients."

"It's the places that try to incorporate lots of wildly different dishes that you want to avoid."

- MagnusPI

Unexpected Restaurant Guests

"A raccoon falling through the ceiling tiles. 1:00 AM, drunk as h**l, looking for something to eat, and I found a dive that was still open. I ordered my food, and while waiting for my order, a raccoon fell from the ceiling."

"The waitress ran to the back screaming. The cook came out armed with a cleaver and chased it into the kitchen. The look on his face was like it had happened before. Other people eating there were in shock and got up and left."

"Mystery meat: the new special. Get me the f**k out of there."

- alwaystired707

That Wait Time

"I immediately look to see if there is anyone actually eating. If there are a half dozen tables with no food on them, and people looking anxiously to the kitchen, I'm out."

- scotttr3b

Cleaning Response Time

"Multiple dirty tables that haven’t been cleared. If the restaurant isn’t crowded, staff should have time to clean them. If it is crowded, staff should be trying to turn tables over quickly."

"Dirty tables mean they are either severely understaffed or the staff just doesn’t care. Either way, you will be waiting a long time."

- 787la57la47al

Inappropriate Smells

"Once went into a restaurant that boasted the biggest Cinnamon Rolls in the city/state... Only for there to be a pervasive smell of absolutely raw stagnate sewage throughout the dining room. Needless to say, did not return."

- nekroves

Construction Said It Best

"A green flag for a restaurant is when you see a lot of construction workers going there for lunch. You'll know it's cheap and good, hearty food."

"In my old city, there was this tiny little family-owned Chinese restaurant with delicious and cheap lunch specials. Every construction worker downtown sat at the counter at the front for lunch."

"Meanwhile, the waiters would be in this little back room watching TV and the chef must have been at least 70 years old. The food was genuinely so delicious and filling. Probably not good for your cholesterol but so tasty!"

- okaymoose

Atmosphere Matters

"Not a red flag about the food but if a place has their music up so loud I can’t hear the person I’m with, then I won’t eat there."

- Adro87

"Conversely, if it's TOO quiet; as in, not only is the sound system way too low, but if the customers are also weirdly quiet (barely having conversations, just sort of sitting there) and the atmosphere seems almost stifling."

"A couple of years ago we walked into a gastropub in Scotland just like this - very low music, the room was half full (and this was at peak lunch time), and everyone who was there were just sitting, looking sullen, barely speaking, waiting for their food. Just really... odd... vibes."

"After five minutes of sitting at the bar trying to get the attention of staff (who were all standing around looking at their phones), we left and went to a definitely *not fancy* cafe down the block that was the absolutely opposite: people just seemed happy to be there, staff were attentive, and the vibe was really welcoming."

- Good_Difference_2837

The Ultimate Red Flag

"Gordon Ramsey walking in with a camera crew."

- Tint-kicker

"One of the local restaurants we like was recently closed for a bit due to filming for 'Kitchen Nightmares.'"

"My husband still likes to get their food, but I'm waiting until the episode airs!"

- Lington

No restaurant is going to be perfect 100 percent of the time. They're going to have a slow night or poor response time or get some orders wrong from time to time.

But there are far more problematic behaviors and characteristics to find in a restaurant that are perfectly good reasons to never go back there again, no matter how good they may have been in the past.