"You are not the father" isn't just a notorious quote from scandalous day time television.
A lack of relation between baby and dad can be visually obvious, and unwitting medical professionals are sometimes caught in the middle of family disputes regarding who a newborn's biological father is.
Redditor u/user_7061 got doctors and nurses to share some paternity scandals when they asked:
"Have you ever witnessed a couple have a child that was obviously not the fathers? What happened?"
Yeah, fun times...
"I worked the L&D floor of a big hospital although not as medical professional. We had two dads come to blows when the mom was there in labor. She had no idea which was the dad and wouldn't till she pushed that kid out. One 'dad' was white (with red hair - REALLY white), one was Nigerian. Neither knew about the other till they both came rushing into the area to be with their baby momma. Fun times."
Colliemom4
People can be awful...
"This very white couple came in with obvious relationship tensions and long story short the baby came out somewhat darker than white if you get me. Well the couple not having the means to support a child yet put the baby up for adoption and very quickly got a response. The next day a couple flew 9 hours to get their baby. They arrived and somehow missed the memo that this baby was black and were absolutely furious when they saw it. They refused it and then flew back home. Later on another couple adopted the baby."
D_Shwimm
Glad it worked out
"Obligatory not a doctor, but my family has a story sort of like this.
My grandparents were separated and my grandma started dating another man. She got pregnant and the other guy bolted. My grandparents got back together and my uncle had my grandfather's last name. My grandparents eventually divorced and my grandfather didn't really raise any of his kids. My grandma got remarried and my grandpa stepped up and was the dad they all needed."
rant7268
Is this a soap opera?
"Small town family drama. My uncle is obviously the father to a girl from my highschool. Close family friend, he had been fighting with my aunt around the time she was conceived, she looks just like him. My cousin is a month younger than the girl. I don't know if my aunt knows, but she's a bitch so I dont think anyone cared to tell her if she was that oblivious."
be-ar_boi
It's not the nurses fault!
"My friend from nursing school used to work in L&D. She said that after one of the patients told her boyfriend he wasn't the dad, he was furious and stormed out of the room. My friend had tried to help and talk to him but he ended up punching her in the stomach. She said security was immediately on him in seconds."
cakejukebox
Oh no, not the best man...
"Not me but a family friend of mine was at the hospital when it was time for his wife ( let me repeat WIFE of just over 4 years) to have their baby. When the baby was finally delivered... Well lets just say he was not too happy. It ended up being his best man in his weddings son. It was very awkward for everyone. But for what ever reason he stayed with his wife who cheated on him and raised the son who obviously wasnt his"
wasteofpasta728
He probably came back to get stitches on his hand
"My girlfriend's mom worked in the OBGYN section of the hospital and she said two Caucasian people came in and when the baby came out he/she was Hispanic and the father freaked out and punched and shattered a decorative picture on the wall and left and never came back."
The_Big_Ugly
She'll figure it out eventually
"Yeah, the daughter is blonde and blue eyed, looks an awfully lot like the guy her mom dated right before 'dad' who is Mexican. It is clear but mom refuses to tell her. With dna testing so common I'm just waiting for the bomb to drop."
LoriTheGreat1
A multitasking papa
Giphy"A nurse at the hospital I work at said when she was in nursing school there was a guy whose wife and girlfriend were giving birth on opposite ends of the same floor of the hospital. He was going back and forth between each room during the entire process."
Jg23kc
The blood tells all
"I had delivered a baby and the bilirubin (a byproduct of blood breakdown) was high. I was explaining to the mom that it may be due to the fact that mom was O+ and baby was B+. The dad said 'but my blood type is A'... cue uncomfortable doctor. For the baby to have B type blood when the mom is O dad either needs to be B or AB, oops. The mom just said 'it's okay it's okay, we'll talk later' and I took my signal to back out of the room as fast as possible."
dr_butt_er
Infidelity led to tragedy
"A hospital where I was a Med student had a baby born with Hydrops, which is where a baby gets two bad copies of a red blood cell gene, one from each parent. Baby died shortly after birth. Parents came in for genetic counselling and testing revealed the woman's husband did not carry the alpha thalassaemia gene. The couple asked what was the chance another baby of theirs would have this condition the doctors were honest and told them 'zero percent'. They left it at that."
inityowinit
Daddy roulette
"Had a mum to be who had narrowed the options for baby daddy down to her top three. She was having a c-section and didn't understand why all three potential dads couldn't come into theatre. She then asked if we could rotate them through, and maybe she'd let the one that was there when baby came out be the 'real daddy'. Took all my professionalism to smile politely."
mnohc
The most scandalous town
Giphy"Not a Doctor, but my wife grew up in a really small town, but wasnt born there. When she got her first crush on a boy and told her best friend, the friend was like 'Did you talk to your Mom yet?'"
"Apparently, adultery was so wide spread in this area, it was common practice for girls to talk to their Mom about crushes and who the crushes parents were so they didn't end up dating their half sibling...."
tdabc123
The fall out was probably bad
"A nurse friend of mine told me about helping with a vasectomy when the Doctor saw that the patient, a married father of two children was clearly infertile and would have been all his life. Due to the man taking Valium before the local anisthetic the Dr made the guy come back for a follow up where he had to explain the mans medical condition to him. No idea what the fall out was."
patfreebird
Awkward...
"I'm a midwife. I once had a woman come to my clinic unannounced (she wasn't my patient but I'm NHS so saw her anyway) She had a man with her, she knew she was about 3 months pregnant but hadn't come for any antenatal care."
"I asked if she'd had sex the night before (she'd come in because she'd had a little bleeding) I looked at the partner as mum said yes and he said 'nothing to do with me - I'm just the baby daddy' Turns out she had a new boyfriend at home, this was just the guy she'd been with 3 months before."
"I popped her up on the table to examine her and straight away had to tell her that she was actually about 5 months along but I would arrange a scan to confirm. The dude just got up and walked out."
"Turns out there was a third guy 5 months ago."
LaSageFemme
He did some detective work
"A friend of mine had been hearing rumors that his wife was cheating on him. He refused to believe them until he found out one day that there was trait that is passed from parents to children. (I wanna say cleft chin but it's not important.) Anyways he went and got a DNA test done as he and his wife did not have the trait and it turns out it wasn't his kid, they tested their other two kids and he was only the father of the middle child The first and Third child were from two different guys."
LennyComa
A family drama unfolding in real time
"When I was a student nurse there was this one couple, mother was Asian and husband was White. The husband had a brother (African American, he's adopted from what I remember). The mother had been in labor for around 12 hours and they were very excited to see their baby."
"However, when the baby came out then came the rough part. He was a normal healthy half African American boy, around 3kg. I just looked at the baby then looked at the father and watched his face go from joy to puzzlement to horror in around 10 seconds."
"I didn't get to see much of them for the next 2 hours but I was there when the mother was brought to her room. Her husband and his brother were there as well and she was talking to them. From what I saw she was trying to console her husband and his brother was trying to hug him."itsJohnnyRain
It's so awkward for everyone
"Our NICU does not allow paternity testing to be done inpatient and some of our babies stay with us for 3-6 months depending on their gestation. We've had a few looooong and awkward waits for babies to get discharged before we could find out who the dads are. The two most recent cases were babies born at 23 and 25 week gestations both kids with 3 possible dads. None of the potential dads stayed involved in the 3+ month hospital stay waiting to find out if they're the father. It's so awkward for the staff."
kyelmo
Who do you think you're fooling?
Giphy"I worked in adoptions. A couple showed up wanting to discuss adoption. She was so obviously pregnant."
"The catcher, she and he both insisted that they had never had sex of any kind."
"I don't know what happened because they never came back."
Gutinstinct999
This genetics surprise
"My husband is a surgical technician. Years ago he helped deliver a baby via emergency c- section. The baby was black and born to two very white parents. The dad freaked out and left the hospital with the mom in tears. The doctor convinced him to get a paternity test and he did end up being the father. Genetics is weird."
alate9
Did they teach these doctors about this in Med School?
Do you have similar stories? Let us know in the comment section below.
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These workers and the world already has enough trouble without my stupid.
"So... was she impressed?"
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Kid driving his new truck down a residential street, wet from a recent rain, lost control and hit a parked car, overcorrected and rolled it once back onto its wheels up onto a lawn. He told the fire chief he had gunned it to impress his girlfriend and the chief just looked at him and asked 'So... was she impressed?'"
AntiMacro
Ricky
"I had a client once who was basically Ricky from Trailer Park Boys, loud, obnoxious, hilarious and every second word was some Maritime slang or a derivative of 'f**k.' He has been on daily eye drops for decades for dry eyes, sure ok cool. I hear screaming down the hall and run in and he's wedged against the wall and the bed just screaming 'I f**ked up boys, I dunno what the f**k is f**king happening but It's f**ked."
"Turns out he mistakenly put Jublia which is an antifungal ointment for toenails in his eye thinking it was his eye drops. The strangest part was the bottle has this miniature sponge at the end so you soak the sponge then paint it on like a gel...he painted this antifungal ointment onto his eye which immediately went red and angry then proceeded to do the other one."
"So he's at the eyewash station and I'm talking to poison control and they are pretty stunned because they have zero data on what happens to a human eyeball when it's painted in antifungal. I can hear the staff at the other end kind of snickering under her breath and she asks can you compare and contrast the eyes? Well... he put it in both eyes. The line goes silent because I can tell she is howling. Guy was totally fine but it was a standout for sure."
krzysztoflee
Will they show?
"Responded to a call of two minors being kidnapped and their parents being beaten in front of them and then taken someplace else. One was around three years and the other one was six. They were held captive in an apartment out of hundreds of residential apartments which not easy to locate, upon reaching there we found out that the boy six was just playin' with us to see if we would actually respond. Their parents were so embarrassed by all of that and vowed to not give them mobile until they are adults."
erectilereptilelol
Bowled Over
"When I was an EMT in NYC years ago we had a call for a man 'unresponsive.' We entered an upscale apartment that was a hoard: floor to ceiling newspapers and magazines, just a mess. The woman who called said her brother was in his bedroom sick."
"We entered his room and it was pretty obvious that he had already passed away. She had placed a bowl under his mouth because he had hemorrhaged which had coagulated the day before it was crazy. We asked her why she hadn’t called sooner and she said thought he’d get better?!"
"The joke around the house was 'if you have to put a bowl under a relative who is bleeding from the mouth, call 911. Don’t wait.' Never thought we’d have to advise anyone to do that. But there ya go. Also, it was Thanksgiving. Didn’t eat any cranberry sauce that year."
Sufficient-Swim-9843
God Only Knows
Married At First Sight Lol GIF by LifetimeGiphy"Had a guy call because he had the cure to Covid and needed a ride to the local education hospital so he could share it. Dude was so high on meth He ended up having 4 or 5 binders worth of scientific looking notes. God only knows what was actually in them."
Flame5135
Wow, people really need to get a grip. Of their minds.
"Sparky"
on fire GIFGiphy"One of my old bosses once built a new shed in his back yard, to replace his old, worn-out one. He moved everything from the old one to the new one, then decided that the best way to remove the old one was by burning it down. He ended up with no sheds and the nickname 'Sparky.'"
Wadsworth_McStumpy
Dead in the living room...
"Paramedic here. We responded to this 54 year old having chest pain. Man was having a heart attack. Dude didn't want to go to the hospital because it too early in the day. That's it. We tried to convince him to go. Got the ER doc to talk to him and he wouldn't budge. He signed a Refusal. Later that same night, his family found him. Dead in the living room. We got to him and started CPR, meds, everything. Dude didn't make it. When we advise you to go to the hospital, go."
Chaprito
Bad Ideas
"Got called to a shooting. A guy says he received a text message from an anonymous number saying his brother has been shot. He checks all the hospitals with no luck. He goes to his brother's apartment but gets no response at his door but sees his car and can hear the TV on. We get there, attempt to get an answer at the door."
"Eventually we kick the door in to make sure he wasn't dying in his apartment. We boot the door, announce police, and find him asleep in his bed. The guy tells us that he got a new phone number and decided to mess with his brother by texting him he had been shot. He then fell asleep and forgot about the text and was woken up by us. So many wasted resources on his idiotic prank."
TheDOC816
The Swimmer
"Got called to a priority job. The caller was kayaking in a lake and said that there was an unresponsive male in the water. So off we went, lights and sirens. We requested paramedics and fire to attend as well for the rescue operation. There were about 6 emergency vehicles attending including a rescue boat. We got there within minutes and met the caller who showed us where the guy was."
"He was just swimming, minding his own business. The caller said he was unresponsive, but really he was just ignoring her. Had a chat with the guy, he seemed alright, said he swims here every day and likes the quiet. No issues. Would have been nice if the caller told the operator that he was still conscious and swimming rather than 'unresponsive.'"
amazingbecauseitis
Chew Slowly
Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Well, I was taking a lady home from dialysis and she decided to eat a snickers in the back of the ambulance, and she started choking. Had to do the heimlich, and tell her to finish her food at home."
HotSoupInYourA**
If it's not a true emergency dial 311. Please.
As if knowledge isn't scary enough, let's her more...
Hello Terry
paint surgery GIF by gifnewsGiphy"Some tumors have teeth, hair and even eyes."
Twat_Waffle_Stomp
"My sister had one minus the eyes! It was cantaloupe sized on one of her ovaries before it was found. She named it Terry the Teratoma."
Karina_is_my_cat
Hungry Bacteria
"Brain-eating amoebas."
dark_n_lovely_qu33n
"My best friend and bunk mate from summer camp died from one of those when I was in 7th grade. Happened so quickly, we were a week into camp and he got really sick. They gave us all heavy meningitis shots because they didn’t know what it was and within a few days he was dead. Turned out to be a brain eating amoeba."
"Edit: strangely enough on the same day he started getting sick one of the lifeguards that was sitting out in a boat waiting for the next group of kids for what we called Trojans Vs. Spartans day had a seizure, fell off the boat and drowned. Only deaths they’d ever had in the 50+ years the camp had been open."
Csharp27
Far Far Away
"The size of our galaxy, how many other galaxies there are and how far away they are. When you can actually see something that incomprehensible.."
Jfonzy
"The nearest star to us would take the Voyager 70,000 years to reach. The nearest galaxy to ours would take the Voyager 749,000,000 years. If we some how managed to take on the monstrous task of speed of light travel it would still take 25,000 years to reach the nearest galaxy. And it's even further apart after you read this. Wild stuff!"
ConqueredCorn
Head Changes
"How the brain is literally rewired and chemically altered by childhood neglect and abuse."
petalumaisreal
"It's genuinely kinda freaky, playing a puzzle game, and noticing how quickly you're getting better at it. The kind of puzzles that were a real blocker in the beginning become baby-easy after like an hour of playing puzzles like it."
LtLabcoat
"My sister faced horrible abuse at the hands of our father, and she has been working through it with multiple therapists over the last 10 years and she is only now starting to get her life back. I feel like she was robbed at a fair chance at life because of our a**hole father."
Pehdazur
Awake
Bill Murray Im Here GIF by Groundhog DayGiphy"Prions, horrific and totally unpredictable."
geordiesteve520
"Fatal familial insomnia is a prions disease where you can't sleep anymore, you just stay awake until your brain deteriorates and you die."
DrinknEspresso
Now I can never UNKNOW about prions. Perfect.
Days gone by...
Aging Matt Damon GIFGiphy"Ageing. I'm content with death but the idea of my body growing old, frail and eventually falling apart before the end game gives me goosebumps."
EvidenceOfInnocence
Bursts
"Gamma ray bursts. No warning, no escape, no defense, no survivors."
Swampwolf42
"If you're talking about supernovas if the star isn't too close the gamma burst would probably only destroy some part of our ozone layer. And gamma radiation is actually the least lethal out of all types of waves."
Broccoli_sauce24
Sizzle
"Entropy. Time shall consume all things. Inevitable heat death of the universe."
Revolutionary_Elk420
"I personally want the 'Big Crunch' to be true. That instead of fizzling out it all gets sucked back into an infinitely small/dense particle and then another Big Bang happens. It’s my explanation for the multiverse. It’s all one timeline. Just infinitely long."
ChoppyWAL99
They're Watching
"More like a theory, the 'orangutan paradox,' when we film a documentary on orangutans, they can’t realize that we are observing them, yet they are the most intelligent species of their category, so aliens might be watching us and we are as oblivious as an orangutan."
Time_Succotash
Fade 2 Silent
Listen Scooby Doo GIF by MashedGiphy"That hearing is the last sense to leave, when dying."
User Deleted
Well that is the antithesis of comfort. Life is so fun.
Redditor Ebo8000 wanted to know:
"What is your most controversial take on Star Wars?"
Doors
"LASERS LOCK DOORS. LASERS OPEN DOORS. LASERS KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE DOOR TO DO."
- SlamVanDamn
"But if you get past the door and close it behind you and you don’t want anyone to follow you through it…"
"…you shoot the bloody door panel!"
- treeonwheels
"Also, f*cking hell, we're in the future (or in the past), whatever, and people have better technology."
"Why put the door control RIGHT NEXT to the door? Put the door control system in a breaker box."
"Build every door so in case of malfunction they all shut closed (after all, they're in space and you don't want to lose air in decompression, do you?)"
"Shoot the breaker box, now the whole floor is closed until someone can figure out what happened."
"Almost look like those doors just exist as dramatic elements..."
- smegma_yogurt
GiphyThe Past
"I’d like a film about when the Republic was at its height. 1,000 generations is 25,000 years and we’ve had 9 movies about the last 60."
- Musickat18
The Future
"Not sure if controversial but they need to take the franchise and yeet it 200 years in the future."
"I'm tired of the Empire era where they need to justify why more than 2 Jedi and 2 Sith exist at one moment alongside knowing everything is pointless until Luke leaves the farm."
- Alandrus_sun
Design Fail? No!
"The Death Stars weren't badly designed they were just badly managed."
"Yes, designing them assuming large scale assaults was stupid given the political state of the galaxy but the second Death Star wasn't even finished so that doesn't count, it's all Palpatine's fault. As for the first one that was finished, the Alliance made three runs on the exhaust port."
"The first was called off before they made it to the trench, the second failed and the third was carried out by space Jesus which isn't exactly fair."
"All in all it sounds like a fairly effective defence when you consider the design philosophy."
- Engeneus
GiphyCool Factor
"The entire universe has a cool factor that outweighs the atrocious storytelling."
- Ozty
"Bro imagine the following movies, but if they were in Star Wars universe."
"Magnificent 7 - A Jedi, Bounty Hunter, Ex-Imperial, Pilot, Wookie, a Droid, and Lawman team up to defend a town against pirates"
"Dredd - Two Jedi climb up an apartment block to confront a new dark side user who has mental control of the entire apartment block"
"Supernatural (T.V. Show) - A Jedi and their apprentice go around and solve and defeat Dark Side Force spots—where the Force consolidates from emotions and creates foul creatures to fight"
"Top Gun - But it's you know, Wedge or something"
"Ford versus Ferrari - But it's podracing or swoop racing"
- BoutsofInsanity
Ships
"Something about the ships in the original series always felt more like real ships than in any of the later movies, despite the objectively better effects of the later films."
"Some of this is probably the use of models (i.e. actual three dimensional objects), but I think there is some critical difference in the design that makes them feel more real (probably because they were designed to be things that would actually work as models)."
"Whatever it is, I LOVED the ships in the original series and never really liked any of the new ones."
- UnspecificGravity
"The original trilogy changed the world by showing a universe in space that was dirty and lived in. The special effects from the later movies did not recognize this."
GiphyBoba who?
"Boba Fett is an oddly overrated background character, and even after watching The Book of Boba Fett, I don’t really care about him."
- imidoesonlyfans
"He was never a character. He was a cool helmet."
- JimPlaysGames
"He was a cool jetpack too."
- RipperFromYT
GiphyTime for the weather...
"Han is actually older than Obi-Wan due to Time Dilation."
- Snowbofreak
"Time dilation in a universe where every planet and moon has the same gravity and atmosphere?"
- suman_issei
"And just 1 biome."
- DogShampoop
"That way they only need one Weather Channel per planet."
- The_Most_Superb
"And over to Klaatu for the Tatooine weather report. Klaatu?"
"It's still sunny."
- Budsygus
GiphyThese are the droids we're looking for.
"Star Wars is actually the life story of C-3PO—think about it."
- jonguy77
"I disagree. I think its R2-D2's story. He had a much greater presence in Episode 1, 2 and 3, and got the same amount of screen time as C-3PO in 4, 5 and 6."
‐ MacGregor_Rose
GiphyFan is short for fanatic.
"Fans ruined the whole franchise."
- SeaworthinessNo5209
Ouch...
So, did your controversial Star Wars opinion make the list?
Hollywood hasn't helped, as movies and TV have typically portrayed death as something sinister and violent.
How could anyone be convinced death is a peaceful transition, and that what awaits on the other side is actually an unimaginable utopia?
Curious to hear strangers' thoughts about death, Redditor GoodNess2020 invoked a quote by an iconic literary figure and asked:
"Mark Twain once said, 'I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.' Why do you agree/disagree with his statement?"
People clarified what actually terrified them most about death
The Process
"I don't fear being dead. I fear dying."
– magicbluemonkeydog
"Yeah, that's usually the issue. It's why that quote doesn't mean much, to a lot of people."
"It's not a fear of eventually dying and not existing anymore. It's the act of dying itself. He didn't constantly die for all of time. He just wasn't alive."
– appleparkfive
Concept Of Loss
"To have not existed for billions of years is to have spent billions of years never knowing loss. To die is to know loss."
"If you look into a new bank account and see zero dollars, it’s nothing. If you look into a bank account that once had a million dollars and see there’s nothing in there, you’ll know it’s absence."
– -CrestiaBell
People provided an analogy to articulate what ceasing to exist must feel like.
It's About Time
"Time is only relevant to you when you are alive. He is right. Have you ever been sedated for surgery? You go under, and then instantly wake up and procedure is done.... or you died so no worries."
– 20190419
Consciousness Is Life
"You won’t be feeling anything in death though is the thing. That infinite/instant sensation was a living feeling, you just weren’t conscious for it - your body experienced it anyways. No body, no experience."
– Parradog1
Like Being Under
"That is very true, but for me, that's the closest amalgamation of what it probably feels like."
"No one can tell you what actual death will be like. It's impossible for you to experience nothingness."
"Thinking about death can be paralysing sometimes, and when I remember that the closest thing i can link as an experience I had, being put under, was actually sort of pleasant. I then think maybe death will be like that, and honestly it doesn't seem that bad."
– IamEclipse
When In Deep Sleep
"Yeah in contrast to sleep where you can actually feel like time has passed when you wake up."
– GreyFoxMe
Think Line Between Death And Slumber
"As CGPGrey puts it, your bed might very well be a suicide machine."
"Given our lack of understanding for the fundamental processes of our sentience, it's entirely possible that when you fall asleep, your mind is functionally killed, disassembled, analyzed, sorted, tweaked, and adjusted by your biology, before being reassembled when you wake. Every night."
– Mazon_Del
People opened up about their insecurities around the concept of death.
Fear Of What Comes Next
"I’m just paranoid that something does happen after death and it’s just based on one thing that you didn’t know about."
– PsychoDog_Music
The Circle Of Death
"There’s nothing to fear in oblivion. Unless, of course, your consciousness survives death. If so, it would be reasonable to fear the sensation of consciousness without senses, suspended alone in the cosmos, with no one to hear you, and no way to make yourself known. No reference point for counting time – a count that does not matter anyway in a literal eternity."
"You might wish that you still had a corporeal form, only so that you could make your mouth move to express your terror, to make the universal form of a terrified scream – the form of a letter O."
"But you won’t be able to. You just won’t!"
"This has been the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner. Brought to you by shame, loneliness, and the letter..."
"O....."
– CecilSpeaksInItalics
When Faith Fails You
"what do you mean I'm going to hell?! I was a good person and attended church regularly!"
"Ah yes, but you failed to put a blue feather in your hat and then turn in circles the times praising God Almighty on the fifth Sunday after your twelfth birthday. To the pit with you!!!"
– phormix
There is an poignant episode from the Twilight Zone that brought me a sense of peace surrounding the concept of death.
Death was embodied by a handsome police officer who had been shot–played by a young Robert Redford–and begs to be let into the home of an elderly woman who had been living in perpetual fear of meeting "Mr. Death."
As the episode continues, she discovers much to her dismay that she welcomed Death into her home, but he warmly reassures her there is nothing to fear.
The episode ends with her finally offering her hand to Death after much protest, and they peacefully walk out together, arm in arm, into the light.
It was sweet and beautifully done. The 1962 episode was titled, "Nothing in the Dark."
That's how I imagine it to be.
A dashing Prince of Darkness telling me it's time to join him in guiding me to the other side.