Compromise is important in a relationship. Everybody has to do it. But there are just some traits or actions that a big no-go when it comes to compromise. And you shouldn't feel bad about it.
Sorry
Sorry I Love Lucy GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Not being able to apologize. Everybody makes mistakes, doesn't matter. Own up to it and I respect you even more. Seek excuses? Bye!"
Own It!
"No accountability. In fact, having absolutely no sense of accountability for their actions. Believe me it is more common than you think."
"My ex was just like this- I found myself apologizing for her mistakes, and she expected me to grovel when I made any minor error. And the gaslighting, mind games and guilt trips... holy crap. When I called her out, I was "lecturing her." I thank my lucky stars that I had the sense to get out when I did."
Cheer Up!
"Complaining about everything."
"My ex too. It was unbelievably draining. I could handle it most of the time, but the worst was when in a situation where everyone is miserable (e.g. getting stuck outside in the rain). It's like, hey, everyone here is having a bad time right now, but by complaining constantly you're just dumping more misery on top of it for everyone."
The Menu
"Kind of a subset of this for me is being a picky eater. I dated a girls for over two years who ate nothing but macaroni and cheese and chicken tenders. Never freaking again. I've broken it off with two otherwise very nice and attractive girls over this. I'm not spending my life restricted to restaurants that sell chicken tenders and having to grocery shop for two different dinners every single night."
- username deleted
Fibs...
Lying Simon Rex GIF by Simon Rex / Dirt NastyGiphy"Lying, saying stuff about you behind your back, being mean to people for no reason, being fake."
Ladies, ladies, ladies... listen up. Now don't think men aren't just as culpable.
Failed
fail black and white GIFGiphy"No "test" behaviour. Be straightforward or I'll assume you're likely to instigate dumb crap drama. Honesty for honesty."
"red flag"
"Doesn't let you have time to yourself/ heir entire life revolves around you to the point that they suffocate you."
- jalo12
"To add on - if a partner is controlling of your relationships with friends and family, and generally won't let you exist as your own person, "red flag" is understating it. You should be able to at least occasionally do things without your partner."
"You should be able to have private spaces and private thoughts. You should be able to maintain existing relationships and create new ones. I dated someone once who was insistent as to how I slept, and didn't like it if I tried to get into a more comfortable position. Surprise surprise, also came with a side of emotional abuse and manipulation."
- Kradget
Basics
"Zero effort put into simple maintenance actions. Simply picking up after yourself is deferred repeatedly when it can be done and over in ten seconds. Inflexible mind, or unwilling to learn new things or see other perspectives. Seeing the fault in others, but inability to perceive such in themselves."
Counting Ability
"If they are terrible with finances."
"Money is cited in the top 3 reasons for divorce, always. And money affects every facet of life. My BIL married a gal who was always a next thing away from getting her financial sh*t together. Anyway, he's living with us now, after his 2-year marriage ended, because, it turns out, people who are bad with money and have no real interest in saving, likely will not change."
- abqkat
try to be fun...
John C Mcginley Reaction GIFGiphy"No sense of humor. Either a lack of sense of humor or incompatible sense of humor. I want to be able to laugh at the same stuff together."
It's not hard to be yourself in a relationship. In a potential love match, you should be as much yourself as possible. So stay honest and own up to your flaws and your partner will do the same. And if not, you can write a thread about the men.
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"Who would you consider as the most badd@ss person in history?"
These heroes made their mark in history for their fearless humanitarian efforts.
The Resistance Leader
"Witold pilecki - A polish resistance fighter who voluntarily went to auschwitz to get intel on what was happening and then proceeded to escape, survived the war and was later executed by the USSR."
The Espionage Expert
"Nancy Wake. So skillled as she was, she was nicknamed 'The White Mouse' by the Gestapo due to her elusiveness in avoiding capture. Highly talented in espionage, she worked as a spy for the French Resistance and the Special Operations Executive to take down the Nazis. One of the more highly decorated women from WW2, yet not well known."
"God's Rambo"
"Helge Meyer, also known as 'God's Rambo'. A danish special forces officer who bought a 1972 Camaro and turned it into an uparmored beast so he could deliver humanitarian aid in war torn Yugoslavia during the civil war and ethnic cleansing."
Seen As A Traitor
"Definitely Major Hugh Thompson. I'm sure there are people who have done similarly brave things, but not that I know about. In 1968, Thompson managed to stop the My Lai massacre almost single handedly. He arrived after many civilians had already been killed, and couldn't understand how they had died."
"After realising his fellow American soldiers were firing on unarmed civilians, he landed his helicopter between the Vietnamese and the soldiers. He then told the troops that if they continued to do what they were doing, he and his crew would open fire on them. After getting back to base, he filed a complaint about what he had witnessed. His complaint was covered up, and he was shunned as a traitor. It wasn't until 1998 that the army acknowledged he did the right thing."
"It's common to be brave in war when you know that you'll be lauded as a hero - it's another thing entirely to do it knowing you'll be seen as a traitor. He turned against his troops and country to protect innocent lives, despite what it would cost him, and I think that's about as brave as you can get."
The Brave WWII Combat Medic
"Desmond Doss. An army medic in WWII who was constantly belittled and abused by his battalion and superiors for refusing to use a weapon as it went against his beliefs. Then, when he landed in Okinawa and more than half of his battalion were shredded by Japanese machine gun fire, Desmond Doss crawled through the dirt over the course of several days to as many of his injured allies as he could and dragged them all the way back to the 40ft cliff they had scaled up from, then lowered them to safety. Some of these injured men were lying 15ft from the enemy machine gun itself, and all the while Doss wore his medic helmet, which stood out like a giant bullseye on a battlefield where the Japanese soldiers were ordered to kill doctors first to crush morale. In the end he had saved the lives of 75 men, and survived with an arm fracture from a sniper round and several pieces of shrapnel embedded in his body from when he tried to kick a grenade away from him and his men. He is the only soldier without a gun to be awarded the Medal of Honor."
"The Québécois Rambo"
"Canadian Rambo AKA Leo Major. Dude liberated an entire town in the Netherlands by himself while injured in WW2."
These fierce warriors had their backs up against the wall but proved to be unstoppable.
Was Awarded The Conspicuous Gallantry Cross
"Dipprasad Pun the Gurkha who took out 15-30 Taliban singlehandedly when surrounded."
Fought Without Hands
"Galvarino. He was a fierce Mapuche warrior that had both of his hands chopped off as punishment when captured by the Spanish during the Arauco war. Rather than slaughter Galvarino, the Spanish sent him back to the Mapuche to send a message, but instead of causing the Mapuche to surrender, it had the opposite effect. Galvarino decided to have two knives lashed to the stumps where his hands used to be. He learned to fight without hands while using the knives as weapons. Less than a month later, Galvarino fought with the Mapuche against the Spanish again. Around 3,000 Mapuche warriors engaged 1,500 of the Spanish on Nov. 30, 1557. at the Battle of Millarapue. Although they didn't win, Galvarino killed several of the Spanish before the army of 3,000 were all killed."
These bada**es did anything it took to survive.
An Impressive Resume
"Peter Freuchen. He was a Danish explorer, journalist, author and anthropologist. He is widely known for his exploration of the arctic circle and discovery of vast areas of Greenland. He was an indigenous rights activist, having married an Inuit woman. He escaped a death warrant issued by the Third Reich for punching Nazis. Received an academy award for the best motion picture in 1933. Won the $64,000 question as a contestant on the game show. He wrestled a polar bear and won. And as if this all wasn't enough, he escaped a near-death encounter in a blizzard by fashioning a spade out of his own frozen feces."
Plane Crash Survivor
"That teenage girl that was the sole survivor of a plane crash and made her way through the Amazon…. She's definitely up there!"
I would personally add Bruce Lee to the list.
I grew up Japanese-American, but I was often made fun of for my "slanted eyes" and was called "Chink" – an incredibly racist slur referring to people of Chinese descent – even though I'm not Chinese.
Being called Bruce Lee was a common occurrence throughout grade school, and because of the context under which I was being ridiculed, I loathed being associated with the martial arts legend and cultural icon.
But I should have embraced it because he was the epitome of a bad@ss.
The guy who inspired the Tekken character, Marshall Law, was a physical marvel – one who was capable of doing one-handed, two-fingered pushups and playing ping pong with nunchucks. He was also a cha-cha champion.
When it came to teaching, he was one of the pioneers in establishing inclusivity in martial arts and taught students from all walks of life.