Doctors Divulge The Biggest Lies Their Patients Have Ever Told Them[rebelmouse-image 18348140 is_animated_gif=
_PEOPLE! No matter how scary it is you must, MUST be honest with your medical professionals. It serves no purpose to lie to a doctor. It doesn't save you from your condition. Lying only impedes the process and your recovery. Don't worry, it'll all be fine. I guarantee you God is already judging you for far worse then why you're at the doctor's. _
Reddior _\CrayCon _**wanted some medical truth by asking... **Doctors of Reddit, what is the biggest lie your patient has ever told you? Maybe also see a therapist upon release as well.
EMT, Not the patient. But, the wife.
Was getting the patient to take him to the doctor. I asked him if he could stand. The wife told me he hasn't walked in 30 years. The dude stands up unassisted and walks to the stretcher.
I've been in this work a long time and simply don't give a damn about a lot of stuff.
So. I just blurt out "HOLY CRAP ITS A MIRACLE!!" I was prepared to get in trouble....never happened...
PAGING DR. MAURY!!![rebelmouse-image 18348141 is_animated_gif=
When I was an intern I was doing my ER rotation and a woman in her late 30's or so came in complaining of nausea and lower abdominal discomfort for the last few days. I did the dillegent history taking and of course, asked her about the possibility of her being pregnant.
She lost her s**t and went off on me... said she was a lesbian woman and had not been with a man for 10 plus years. Yelled at me to get my boss and let an "adult" treat her.
I reported back to my attending and delineated the tests I wanted done. He was like..."I didn't hear a plan for a pregnancy test." and I was like: "I don't think that's needed...she's a lesbian and hasn't been with a man in 10 years." My attending smiled and said: "Humor me."
She was pregnant. Went back to her room and there were two dudes mean mugging one another about to fight. She couldn't even look me in the eye.
FOLLOW THE TRACKS...[rebelmouse-image 18348142 is_animated_gif=
Patient presented with unrelated complaints but on the standard intake for our clinic we were to ask whether the patient had used any injected drugs in the last month. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt. As I asked he looked down at his arms, exposing his numerous, or syringe puncture wounds on his arms.
He then looked up at me, crossed his arms obscuring many of the track marks, and proudly stated: "Nope, never."
ARE YOU A CHIMNEY?[rebelmouse-image 18348144 is_animated_gif=
My dad laughs at this all the time but my mom is nurse at an urgent care. Anyway, we have a neighbor who is constantly smoking. Like every time we drive by their house to pull into our drive way this lady is smoking. She comes in one day for something and my mom asks her standard questions. One is if she smokes. She says no. Unbelievable.
YUCK![rebelmouse-image 18348145 is_animated_gif=
I work in an ER, had someone come in and was acting erratically from the get go, went back into his bay and he was with his lady friend and they were looking at mosquito bites along their arms and legs, he went on to tell me about how they go hiking every sunday and get torn up by bugs but every single bite on both of them was scabbed and along a vein.
JUST THE FACTS PLEASE...[rebelmouse-image 18977819 is_animated_gif=
I had a lady in the hospital who was several days post op, and had met all criteria for discharge. This can be a somewhat difficult situation, because you want to maintain a good relationship with your patient, but at the same time can't inappropriately use hospital resources. I told her that if there's no medical necessity, insurance could deny payment for the extra night in the hospital, to which she said:"Oh, my health insurance agent was just up here and he said I should stay another day." I just stared at her for a minute since I have never seen an insurance representative in the hospital, and don't even know if health insurance agents exist. She then admitted that she just made that up.
DO I SMELL....[rebelmouse-image 18977820 is_animated_gif=
Me : Do you smoke?
Pt: I'm afraid so, doc (looks sheepish)
Me: Do you smoke anything other than tobacco? (then explaining to medical student how cannabis is associated with certain conditions)
Pt (shocked and virtuous) Oh no, doctor! (the very idea!)
5 minutes later...
Me: Mr Pt, when i asked you to get undressed I meant that I would need your T-shirt off
Pt (channels 5 year old child, looking at the floor and mumbling), takes shirt off... to reveal a MASSIVE cannabis leaf tattoo on his chest.
I SEE YOU SIR! I SEE YOU![rebelmouse-image 18977821 is_animated_gif=
A few years ago, a man came in complaining of a terrible cough, chest pain, and fatigue. I asked him if he had a history of smoking. Naturally he said no. Around an hour later, on my way home, I stopped to get some food and there he was, smoking outside McDonalds.
I NEED A XANAX JUST HEARING THIS![rebelmouse-image 18977823 is_animated_gif=
Not a doctor but I was an ER scribe. I would follow the doctors around with a laptop and do all of their electronic charting, ordering tests, note taking and stuff like that.
Had a patient, probably around 18-20 year old male. Complaining of a foreign object in his... male organ. He had a set of iPhone headphones stuck up his urethra. And when I say stuck up there, I mean all the way to where the single cord splits in two for the two earbuds. Out of precaution we did an x-ray and sure enough, you could see the knotted up cord in his lower abdomen and it was going to require surgery to remove due to it being tangled.
He said that he was at a party with some friends and that he got drunk and passed out and his friends shoved it up there as a joke while he was passed out. Luckily the doctor I was working with had seen this guy for the same thing not long ago except before it was a wire coat hanger. She recognized there was a bigger issue and convinced him to have an inpatient psych consult in the ER after surgery so they could get him the help he needed.
Not a single person in that exam room bought his story that his friends did it to him though.
NO PILLS FOR YOU!![rebelmouse-image 18349684 is_animated_gif=
Only a medical student but a patient I took history from wanted Ativan for anxiety, she was telling me about how her panic attacks are so bad she gets into car accidents with casualties every week. I mean a lot of patients will tell lies or play coy to get controlled substances but she was the only one who admitted to multiple counts of vehicular manslaughter.
When I presented her case to my attending she showed me a note in the EMR from another doctor stating this was a regular tactic of her's as well as an extensive online list of every scrip different doctors had given her for controlled substances.
She didn't get an Ativan prescription that day.
I'M NOT STUPID SIR... YOU ARE![rebelmouse-image 18977824 is_animated_gif=
Patient came in breathing through his mouth. His mouth was as wide as he could stretch it. His breath sounded like sucking that last bit of liquid through a straw. He snorted 9 ounces of cinnamon when his mum's boyfriend dared him to. He then tried to snort water to wash it away. His mucus became like a biscuit. He had a cold too. Tried very hard not to insult their collective intellect.
SHADY, SHADY![rebelmouse-image 18977825 is_animated_gif=
Nurse practitioner, I work with patients with substance use disorder, many of them must have their urine spiked by our staff, or someone slipped drugs in their food or drink.
METH IS THE DEVIL![rebelmouse-image 18977827 is_animated_gif=
In my first crappy job I would take sickdays constantly. I learned how to fake certain symptoms, have a cracked voice and all that.
I always wondered if the doctor saw through me but did not want to call me out or just did not give a crap at all. Because one day I went to another doctor, he called me out and sent me to work. Funnily enough I actually became sick the very next day with flu, came back to the same doctor and he apologized that he never knows for sure and there are a lot of people faking symptoms to get things in flu medicines that you can make meth out of.
HOW ABOUT CUTTING BACK ON THE SNICKERS?[rebelmouse-image 18977828 is_animated_gif=
Pretty much every episode of 600 pound life: I'm tellin' you doctor, it's water weight.
GUILTY![rebelmouse-image 18977829 is_animated_gif=
I tell my dentist that i floss regularly.
LIGHTS RISE...[rebelmouse-image 18977830 is_animated_gif=
Yikes I don't understand why people would lie to their doctor, at best it makes their job unnecessarily difficult and at worse the treatment could be wrong or dangerous.
I really did get a light bulb stuck up my butt from falling onto it though. I don't recall why I wasn't wearing any pants.
SOME PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO PROCREATE...[rebelmouse-image 18977689 is_animated_gif=
Does Munchausen by proxy stories count ?
One of my father patient kept coming back with her daughter's mysterious illness. The kid was grey.... like from head to toe, her skin had a grey/ blue tint. Mother swore it happened overnight and nothing could explain it...
My father recognized silver poisoning and had the kid tested. A few calls to his colleagues in the area confirmed that the woman had been touring doctors, disappearing every time argyrism was diagnosed. The mother was feeding silver powder to her kid for attention.
STOP GRINDING![rebelmouse-image 18977831 is_animated_gif=
I was waiting at the dentist's (I arrived way too early) and a teen and his mom comes in. They talk to the dentist and his mom says he has been grinding his teeth. He acts like she attacked him and was like _"I do not, I never grind my teeth!!!!!" Then 10 minutes later the dentist comes back with the kid out to the waiting room and tells the mother there is severe grinding happening and he is at risk of getting severe cavities since all the enamel is gone and he is wearing into the teeth. The look on his face was priceless. He then said they would have to go upstairs to the orthodontist and get a mouth guard for sleeping and that the kid will always have to be vigilant that he isn't grinding for the rest of his life (or something like that).
ANIMALS ARE PEOPLE TOO![rebelmouse-image 18977834 is_animated_gif=
I'm a veterinarian and people do the same stuff. Dog comes obviously intoxicated with something and you ask if he could have possibly consumed "x" drug (depending on the dogs symptoms) and people don't want to admit anything. I don't care wtf you do to yourself, have at it, but don't let the dog suffer by not being honest and therefor preventing or at the very least delaying appropriate treatment.
LETS STARVE YOU!![rebelmouse-image 18977835 is_animated_gif=
"He only got sick yesterday" Haha no, he was probably like this for months, you just had time to come in today. At this point, there's really not much I can do.
Also, parents of SAM kiddies. Lol he really didn't get sick yesterday, you haven't been feeding the kid for months.
When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.
This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.
Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.
Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"
Make sure you want to do it.
"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87
Proceed with caution
"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."
"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."
"And established rules."
"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."
"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414
Make sure you're an active participant
"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."
"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."
"The other dude was a total creep, though."
"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."
"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."
"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow
Look out for ulterior motives
"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."
"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays
Consider a test run?
"Go to a bar together separately."
"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."
"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."
"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer
Query people with experience.
"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."
"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."
"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo
Consider going whole hog.
"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi
Evaluate your relationship first.
"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."
"Have boundaries, and no secrets."
"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455
"Don't do it."
"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."
"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"
"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."
"She enthusiastically agreed."
"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."
"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."
"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."
"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."
"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."
"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."
"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."
"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."
"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."
"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."
"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."
"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."
"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."
"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger
When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.
That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.
It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."
Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.
Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.
One Redditor was curious to hear people's examples of this saying coming to light, either from a personal experience or seeing it happen to a well-known, public figure, leading them to ask:
"Who is your example of 'you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'?"
"He originally stood up for civil rights when it was really unpopular."
"Was hospitalized and accidentally placed in the black ward."
"When the doctors found out, they tried to move him, but he refused."
"Then he became a cult leader and used his power and influence to end the lives of a thousand people."- Crvsby
Earning a position of power
"Working in restaurant kitchens."
"You either burn out young, or become the boss that everyone hates."
"There's exceptions, but that's the rule."- grandpas_old_crow
"Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver."
"Made up a bunch of untested uses for it, treating people having asthma attacks, and drowning victims were the two I remember that he publicly talked up."
"Later, he funded an experiment that involved injecting people with Malaria to see if it would treat other conditions.
"The experiment was found to be unethical by American review boards, so he conducted them in Ethiopia." - User Deleted
"In WW1 he led the French to victory at Verdun, one of the worst battles in human history."
"In WW2, after France was beaten, Petain was the head of state of Vichy France."
"Guy went from the Lion of Verdun to the biggest Nazi collaborator in France."- arthuranymoredonuts
"Every organ until it gets cancer."- SuperBaconjam
"He had the whole country behind him here in Ireland at one point bar people who thought combat sport is grotesque."
"He was witty, original, backing himself up and having a Hollywood like rise to stardom."
"Now he's someone who the whole country is ashamed of, goes punching old men, clearly sleeps around on his wife while she's at home with the kids, just a walking caricature of himself."
"He didn't listen to his own advice."
"Get out."- StephenPigot2020
Turning into our parents
"My dad used to annoy me by calling my Pokemon cards 'Pokey-Mans'."
"Now my kids have them and I do the same thing and it annoys the sh*t out of them."
"Thanks for the (Pokeyman) gold!"- rumpel4skinOU
"Almost died during the revolutionary way, if I recall correctly, and if he had he would have been remembered a huge hero, and a martyr."
"Instead he lived and changed sides, and is remembered only for his being a traitor."- uniqueperson22
Be it someone we knew quite intimately, or someone we admired from a far, it is always heartbreaking to see someone evolve from someone we love, to someone we utterly hate.
Sometimes we do things that have to be done.
And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.
What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.
We may still technically be in the right.
But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.
But still, many people don't care.
Redditor BirdyPizzawanted to see who would fess up about some of the worst things we're responsible for but have no shame.
"What is the darkest thing you have ever done and don’t regret?"
I've stolen from department stores that overcharged. I was arrested. I didn't care. So there...
"Five years ago my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke. Left paralyzed and robbed of his speech and ability to communicate he was a shell of the once vibrant, charismatic man he once was. He was moved into skilled nursing where he lived for nearly two years, he was miserable."
"On my last visit I told him it was okay if he wanted to leave us, that we would miss him but he should go. A week later I received the call that he had passed. Instead of immediate grief I felt relief. Relief that he was finally free. The grief came later and I still miss him every single day."
"Got into a car accident and had to stay with my mom for a couple days to figure out what to do. Went back to my apartment (I had two roommates) and everything was missing from my room. Long story short one of my roommates had everything hidden in her room."
"I called and told her the things were missing from my room and she came up with a lie that a couple girls came to look at my room (I was moving out bc of the accident, long story) and that they must have taken my things. She had everything I owned. Including my grandmothers perfume bottles, stuffed to the back of her closet, under her bed, behind her dresser etc."
"So I packed all of my stuff up. Then took a giant black garbage bag and stuffed as much of her closet in it as I could. Took it to the middle of nowhere, dug a hole and burnt it. She called screaming at me that her stuff was missing. I told her the two girls must have come by and taken her stuff too."
"I hit my uncle left right and center when he was trying to choke my father to death. I was 16 years old at that time, a very skinny girl. I beat his face neck and every part of him that I could target with so much intensity that my knuckles turned blue the next day. I had an animalistic rage that day trying to help my father get away from his death grip. I hate my uncle even today."
"I got anger issues because of growing up around him. And I don't regret beating him that day at all. He was physically abusive to his wife as well. One fine day, his wife retaliated by beating him blue with a stick. And he stopped being physically violent towards her post that."
"A neighbor like 10 years ago was neglecting their dog badly in the heat. The dog escaped often and ended up at the shelter a lot. One day she jumped the fence and got her tie-out cable stuck on the fence. (She was not in danger of choking.) Neighbor put her on a 3-foot-long cable tied to a doorknob, no water, 90 degree day. I let some kind folks steal her, watched the whole thing and said nothing to stop them."
"When my father was dying and in pain I was the one who told the doctors he had been through enough and we couldn't see him suffer anymore. Doctor injected him with something, I assume a morphine mega dose and he passed peacefully moments after. Euthanasia may not be legal in UK but compassionate doctors know what's what. I don't regret it because my pa made me promise I would have his back when he got sick or old. I'm sad he got sick and never got to get old."
That is a lot of mess. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
"One of my ex best friends in high school was a real narcissistic lunatic. Had so many egotistical fantasies about what he deserved but I remained his friend because we met through my close friend (his girlfriend). As I started realizing what a terrible person he was I convinced him to go after his fantasy of a harem by asking to add a 3rd to their relationship, that led to a fight between his gf."
"I called her about it and asked how she felt about him adding someone to their relationship and about him sleeping with her. She said she knew nothing about that and started crying because he cheated on her. I basically helped orchestrate their breakup and have no regrets. She is happy with her first child now and he is in a toxic af relationship with 3 kids, 2 of which aren't his and his partner is 8 years older than him."
"Had to make the choice to take my dad off of life support after he got Covid this year. He was sedated for a couple of weeks and one of his lungs collapsed and I couldn't watch him fall apart anymore. My dad was a bulky dude. Constantly did a lot of outdoor work and to see him bone skinny and have no muscle left killed me and I knew even if he somehow got through it, he would have been so miserable and depressed in that state he was in. I don’t regret it. I think it was the right thing to do by him. I’ll never not miss him though. That was my buddy."
"Turned a close friend into the fish and game. He would poach mountain lions and bears. His whole family would literally shoot them and leave them. He would brag about it. I couldn’t stand it and felt that I needed to stop him. He’s in prison and so is his uncle. I know I ruined his life but he was literally killing so many mountain lions and bears."
"In middle school, there was this group of boys that would corner me in the hallway and try to scare me. I was the perfect target for these little b**tards. I was short, skinny, and had (and still have) and anxiety disorder. One day I just had enough, and asked a friend if I could have an extra pencil, sharpened it as much as I could, and when I saw one of them in the hallway, I stabbed the hell out of his leg. Sh**head got what he deserved."
Wow... we really are a dark and secretive people.