Doctors are a widely respected group of people. They've attended school for long enough to possess an inspiring amount of knowledge that most of the population does not access at all.
And yet, during a routine checkup, one may wonder exactly why they needed all that school.
While they chat about our social life with a hand on a stethoscope, it's easy enough to be lulled into assuming the professional is actually, dare we say, easy?
But those are the mundane moments. Unfortunately, there are other moments that absolutely demand all of that knowledge.
And those are the truly scary times when doctors become the most important people in the world, bar none.
Redditor YeetMasterChroma asked:
"Doctors and Surgeons of Reddit, what was your 'this just got even worse' moment with your patient/s?"
Many doctors chose to recall experiences that grew serious because patient wasn't ready to acknowledge their medical reality.
These patients brushed off their symptoms. And they paid for it.
Caught in a Lie
"ER Doc here: Patient arrived with complaints of vaginal spotting. History revealed she had been bleeding for 2 days, not very heavy, just a little pain. Stated it started after her female partner had been 'a little rough' during their last sexual experience."
"Physical exam revealed a complete tear through the posterior vaginal wall into the rectum consistent with what we would usually see during a difficult childbirth. The situation was a bit fishy given the amount of trauma and the back story so I ordered the usual tests (blood count, coagulation panel, chemistries)."
"In accordance with OR protocol (she was definitely going to surgery) tacked on a urine pregnancy test (even though she denied the possibility of pregnancy given her sexual preferences). The pregnancy test came back POSITIVE… Needless to say this opened a huge can of worms."
"Turns out, she had delivered a child 2 days ago in secret but didn't tell anyone. Had been hiding the child from her family/girlfriend. Child protective services, the police, EMS, pediatrics, ON/GYN all got involved in the matter of minutes after that revelation. They found the child in her apartment under some towels alone in her home. It was a doozy of a night."
"To those who are wondering: yes, she was a larger woman whose pregnancy was hidden by her size. This happened 5 years ago and I have seen the child since…doing well with her grandparents who have full guardianship."
A Temporary Fix For Way Too Long
"Homeless man is brought into the ED by EMS for a foot wound that is giving him trouble. We eyeball his foot that's poking out from the blanket as he's rolling by and it's a little roughed up, but doesn't seem too bad. We go in to get his story and he says he hurt his foot a few days ago and that it just hurts to walk on."
"We ask if we can take a peek, so he whips off the blanket to show us his other foot, the one that is actual hurt, releasing a horrific stench cloud in the process. We knew we were in for a treat."
"Guy has his foot bandaged in a very dirty ace wrap, toes are completely black and necrotic, and there's a maggot butt wiggling near the edge of the ace wrap. We tried to remove the wrap, but it was stuck together with blood, dirt and who knows what else, so time to cut that sucker off."
"As we cut more maggot began to present themselves, and the smell of dead flesh just kept getting more and more intense."
"We finally make it through and go to pull away the wrap and I swear at least a hundred maggot fell out of that thing. But that wasn't the worst part. The entire bottom of the man's foot was stuck to the wrap and just fell away from the underlying muscle and bone."
"We told the man we were unfortunately not going to be able to save the foot, to which he responded 'Oh man, really? I didn't think it was that bad.' "
One Extra Day Was All It Took
"Eye doctor here: you may have heard that diabetics need to have their eyes checked regularly because Diabetes is actually a blinding condition. This happened probably about 15 years ago, but this patient of mine I had noted had severe diabetic vascular changes against the retina and required laser intervention as soon as possible."
"Without getting into the socio-economic arguments here, she scheduled her surgery and on the day of the surgery decided to take a work day instead of her surgery. Her job was cleaning, and on that fateful day, she inhaled some of her cleaner fumes which caused her to sneeze spiking her blood pressure and she blew the fragile blood vessels in both of her eyes wide open and blood started gushing into her eyes."
"As you might imagine, blood is opaque. You can't see through it. She was instantly and completely blinded in both eyes in a matter of seconds. It took 3 years, multiple surgeries, and a complete lifestyle change, but this patient did recover to have actually fair (but not good) vision. I still see her now for her annual visits."
Unwilling to Change
"EMT. We had a man in his late 40s that lived with his invalid mother in a run down trailer out in the middle of the country that first called us to have us check on his hyperglycemia. He was 450 mg/ dl which is the highest my partner or I have even seen and advised him to go to the hospital. He was morbidly obese and wasn't taking care of his type II diabetes in even the slightest."
"He refused any attempt to have EMS transportation to ER. We couldn't force him into the ambulance so we had no choice but to leave him but advised our medical control (Doctor in charge) of the incident as soon as we got back into the ambulance. Two months later we get a call back to his trailer by a third party caller again for his diabetes."
"This time his feet have gangrene and we can see the exposed bones of his toes. I mean all ten of his toes have had the soft tissue eaten away to down to just the bone. This time he wasn't the least bit hesitant but we still can't believe he had gone two weeks like this."
Others shared their experiences with gruesome accidents. These doctors had to act fast to save the person who hobbled through the door one day.
Just a Tragedy All Around
"the husband and wife who were brought in at the same time, both with major flame burns. He was about 50% TBSA (total body surface area) and she was ~75%."
"The woman was intubated at the original ER they went to (big burns are literally hot potatos and will get transferred to the nearest burn center ASAP when they arrive in a small town ER). She was waking up a bit when she got to our unit and kept trying to mouth something around her breathing tube."
"In hindsight, I'm pretty sure it was 'my baby', as she miscarried about 36 hours after she was admitted (her nurse found the fetus in her bed)."
"She developed an arrrythmia while we were starting a new central line (big IV in the neck or chest) and we couldn't stop it. And she died."
"We later found out that the husband put their 2 kids in the car, then went back inside and choked her till she passed out, and then poured gasoline all over her and lit her on fire after he found out she was pregnant with someone else's baby."
"He also caught on fire (gasoline will do that). He survived, got multiple skin grafts and went to jail. The kids were uninjured (physically)."
"That was during the first 3 weeks I was a doctor."
Beware the Garage Door Spring
"Used to be an EMT. We were too far away to respond when this happened, but we heard it over the radio."
"Dispatch: 'Caller reports two children playing with garage door spring, reporting unknown injuries.' "
"Dispatch: 'Responding LEO (Law enforcement officer) reporting possible juvenile fatality' "
"EMS: 'EMS reporting juvenile fatality. We're gonna need a cleanup crew. It's a mess here. Can we get someone to confirm an Injuries Not Compatible with Life?' "
"EMS: 'Yeah, we're gonna need another crew here. Kid was playing with a garage door, the spring snapped or something, and... his face is gone.' "
"Dispatch: 'EMS please repeat. What did you say?' "
"EMS: 'There's brains on the wall. We need another EMS rig here.' "
"Dispatch: 'Roger......... I'll have another crew en route shortly.' "
"The tone in everyone's voice when talking about that on the radio is something I will never forget. The absolute pain in the voice of everyone after they heard one of the responding EMTs say that the kid was killed like that."
People Who Made A Lot Of Money From Something Totally Random | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Do. Not. Move.
"Not a doctor, but the cause of some doctors 'oh sh**' moment..."
"So, quick back story, I came out of a tree the hard way when a half-grown cat I was trying to rescue took a swipe at my eyes and I jerked backwards. Landed on the concrete patio about twelve feet below, which had a little curb that was like two inches wide and inch and half high. (oh, and the cat jumped down and landed on my chest)"
"Naturally, I had a big bruise right across my lower back, just below the belt line. It was a Friday. My dad said to wait before going to A&E [english ER], they're swamped at weekends. Figured, he's a doctor, so he knew better."
"Turns out.. no he didn't."
"So there I was sitting on the bed after being x-ray'ed, and a very pale looking doc comes in and the very first thing he says is; 'Don't move. Stay perfectly still.' "
"I'd cracked the three lowest lumbar vertebrae, According to the surgeon, I was probably the luckiest guy that day, they'd split and broken in such a way they jammed against each other and totally missed all the nerves [well, almost, I've a dead patch on my right thigh I can't feel a thing with and a bit of a limp when I'm tired]."
"I ended up in a body cast for a few weeks after they fused the broken bits, never had a problem since aside from the back being stiff enough I can't bend at the waist too well."
"And yeah.. I've never let Dad live it down. He's a darn fine heart guy, top of his field... but he's a lousy EMT. 'Walk it off' is not good advice for someone with a back injury. It's ok.. he say's it keeps him humble."
"Not a doc but I use to work for Radiology in a small hospital and was their kinda Mr Everything we don't want to do, lifting, security, transport, babysitter, etc. A young mid-twenties couple gets brought in on backboards after a car wreck. Middle of February, icy af and the guy rolled the car."
"The girl gets a bed in the ER. She's mostly fine, beat up quite a bit but still coherent and talking. A state trooper is in her room with her. The dude is complaining but overall seems fine. She's asking me to see him and I tell her that they're stabilizing him and he's not going anywhere."
"She says 'What does that mean?' Over and over again and I tell her that he's in a bed on a board, so he can't move. She's freaking out."
"I take the guy back to Radiology, he's talking and joking, things seem fine. We do the CT and he's spine is broke, not just broke, severed. Guy is in for some serious surgery, rehab, might never walk again kinda stuff."
"The girl runs out of the room, cop chases after her, they start fighting. A little 110lb girl is straight up squaring up with this big cop. Cop ends up tasering her in the middle of the ER. Her dude is screaming because they told him about his spine, his girl is now chained to a bed. Turns out they were running drugs, high as balls, flipped the car and the dude probably never walked again. I always wonder though."
Bigger Than Expected
"Had a patient call our clinic saying he had cut his hand and needed a couple of stitches. Sure, come on in, I'll stitch you up."
"Failed to mention until I got in the exam room that he was working with a table saw. And that he had nearly cut 3 fingers off. Tendons were exposed and severed, bone visible."
"Sent him immediately to the hospital, they had to call in a hand fellow after hours to try to salvage his hand, which they were able to do fortunately."
Finally, some discussed the medical rarities that, unfortunately, afflict people when they least expect it.
It Only Took a Tooth
"Patient came complaining of swelling in face; we suspected an abscess from a sick tooth. When they came we called 911 immediately because the 'swelling' had almost completely cut off her airway and her o2 level was an 87…. "
"A PSA to all, if you have a cavity or a broken tooth it is a big deal. A rotten tooth can absolutely kill you."
"Obligatory not a doctor, but I was a forensic technician assisting forensic pathologists at autopsy."
"One day, the chief and I were doing 3 routine narcotic OD autopsies. Often times with ODs, our doctors would let us (the techs) do the whole evisceration to save time, so all the doc had to do was to examine the individual organs. So on the third decedent, she gave me the green light to start cutting."
"Once I had the chest plate removed, something didn't look quite right with his lungs. I called over the doc and she takes one look and goes 'I really hope you have your mask on as tight as it can possibly be...' "
"Her next words were terrifying... 'That's tuberculosis.' We immediately had to inform the public health commission, kick everyone else out of the autopsy room, and convert our 'deco room,' where we primarily did the exams of decomposed people, and turn on the extra duty ventilation system and had to complete the exam with the full PAPR kit on."
"That was fun."
When It Rains It Pours
"I work in a cancer center and fairly regularly a patient with multiple cancers will get a biopsy of a lesion trying to figure out which cancer has metastasized and it instead turns out to be a totally different and unexpected cancer"
When It Rains, It Pours
"Had a young (mid 30's) patient with metastatic cancer (cancer that spread to other sites in the body), including both proximal femurs (hip bones) and the pelvis. Cancer progressed and spread despite various chemo regimens and a clinical trial."
"We (Orthopedic Surgery) got consulted to assess if it was safe for him to walk, do physical therapy in the hospital with the bone lesions, and possibly put metal rods into his femurs to strengthen them and allow him to walk. 2 days later he had a massive stroke involving 60-70% of the left side of his brain."
"In a matter of hours, this poor guy went from having terminal metastatic cancer, to also being paralyzed on the right side of his body and being unable to speak (aphasia)."
Recall All Teeth
"My teacher works in a health center, she deals with teeth (hygienist) and they found out that the newbie and a senior worker (someone who had been there the longest) didn't turn the autoclave on, meaning they had been using unsterilized equipment on quite a few patients until my teacher noticed..."
"...they then had to call every single patient they had that day or that batch was used on and had to get the office to pay for every. Single. One of them to get tested for STD's and other blood borne diseases, everything was negative but I feel like this can fit here"
Bearer of Bad News
"A young newly married couple moves to town, he gets a good job, but gets admitted to my ICU with terrible pneumonia. Didn't take too long to figure that he AIDS associated pneumonia (what we now call HIV). We didn't then know how to treat it, so we had to tell the soon to be widow that she was soon to be a widow."
"Then we told her about how HIV is transmitted, and she needed to be checked."
"Not a good day."
So if you're thinking about becoming a doctor because your last yearly physical seemed chill enough, remember to keep things in perspective: there are the tough days too.
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Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.