What's the worst relationship advice you've ever heard?
Highly insecure people may be prone to taking these words of advice.
"To test how much they’d fight for me with petty remarks and ultimatums. Kind of like 'you didn’t say you missed me' or 'if you don’t come by today then I’ll have to move on.' I did not listen to them, and I’m glad I didn’t."
Exploitation Of Attractiveness
"Those people who 'test the loyalty' by hiring attractive people to flirt with them via instagram. People have suggested it directly. Please don't. It's all sorts of wrong."
When It's Up To The Other Person To Salvage A Relationship
“You can fix him.”
"Why would you even want to? You could be with someone who’s actually a desirable partner in the first place."
Times may have changed, but that doesn't necessarily mean certain suggestions aged well.
"'Love means never having to say you're sorry.' ... That's the dumbest, 1970s, movie tag-line sh*t I've ever heard."
"Have a child, it’ll make your problems go away and you can understand each other better. Lulz."
Dodged A Bullet
"My ex wife consistently tried to pressure me into having a child towards the end of our marriage. Not sure if she thought it would save the marriage or to cover infidelity but I flat out refused. It was mainly because we were nowhere near ready financially and I also saw how rocky the marriage had been. One of the best decisions of my life."
"Treat em mean, keep em keen."
One Size Fits All
"Always be the one who wears the pants."
"Horrible, horrible advice I got from my mom. She was super upset when I told her that we're a team and that both of us wear the pants."
Idealized romantic notions are better left in Harlequin romance novels found at the grocery store checkout counter. Like these:
"The whole idea of 'the one.' Nothing kills more relationships than this notion of whether or not they’ve found 'the one.' Have an argument? You start being paranoid they aren’t 'the one.' Have a small personality clash? Start being paranoid they aren’t 'the one.' Have different dreams or goals? Wonder if they are 'the one.' Have different hobbies? Wonder if they are 'the one.' I’ve seen so many relationships crumble because people are so damn quick to chalk up their partner as the 'wrong one' as opposed to trying to work through problems like an adult."
Change The Perspective
"'Follow your heart' While having the feeling of love is important, it can be confused with infatuation. If you have family or friends that tell you the relationship is bad or isn't going to work, take that into consideration. Try to take a step back and look at the situation. On a happier note, best advice I've gotten is 'Love is a choice' The feeling will come and go. If you really want to have a long term relationship, you'll have to chose to love when things are hard."
When it comes to marriage, these ideas may be more of a miss than bliss.
"Get married first. You can take your time to get to know them after that."
"WHAT THE F'K."
"Arbitrary External Standards"
"'Marriage is meant to be holy, not happy.' This was genuine advice from my (at the time) MIL while my marriage was actively failing and my then - husband manipulating and gas lighting me. And I believed it at the time. F'k that, don't structure your relationships around arbitrary external standards."
That Glue That Shouldn't Hold It All Together
"Stay together for the kids."
"It's not in the kid's best interest when the relationship is abusive."
Maybe some of these work in your relationships. Or maybe not.
The thing about most relationships is that open communication can usually solve many of the problems, and that is more effective than any old adage casually dispensed to you by a well-meaning friend.
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