People Divulge The Worst Relationship Advice They've Ever Received
What's the worst relationship advice you've ever heard?
Highly insecure people may be prone to taking these words of advice.
"To test how much they’d fight for me with petty remarks and ultimatums. Kind of like 'you didn’t say you missed me' or 'if you don’t come by today then I’ll have to move on.' I did not listen to them, and I’m glad I didn’t."
Exploitation Of Attractiveness
"Those people who 'test the loyalty' by hiring attractive people to flirt with them via instagram. People have suggested it directly. Please don't. It's all sorts of wrong."
When It's Up To The Other Person To Salvage A Relationship
“You can fix him.”
"Why would you even want to? You could be with someone who’s actually a desirable partner in the first place."
Times may have changed, but that doesn't necessarily mean certain suggestions aged well.
"'Love means never having to say you're sorry.' ... That's the dumbest, 1970s, movie tag-line sh*t I've ever heard."
"Have a child, it’ll make your problems go away and you can understand each other better. Lulz."
Dodged A Bullet
"My ex wife consistently tried to pressure me into having a child towards the end of our marriage. Not sure if she thought it would save the marriage or to cover infidelity but I flat out refused. It was mainly because we were nowhere near ready financially and I also saw how rocky the marriage had been. One of the best decisions of my life."
"Treat em mean, keep em keen."
One Size Fits All
"Always be the one who wears the pants."
"Horrible, horrible advice I got from my mom. She was super upset when I told her that we're a team and that both of us wear the pants."
Idealized romantic notions are better left in Harlequin romance novels found at the grocery store checkout counter. Like these:
"The whole idea of 'the one.' Nothing kills more relationships than this notion of whether or not they’ve found 'the one.' Have an argument? You start being paranoid they aren’t 'the one.' Have a small personality clash? Start being paranoid they aren’t 'the one.' Have different dreams or goals? Wonder if they are 'the one.' Have different hobbies? Wonder if they are 'the one.' I’ve seen so many relationships crumble because people are so damn quick to chalk up their partner as the 'wrong one' as opposed to trying to work through problems like an adult."
Change The Perspective
"'Follow your heart' While having the feeling of love is important, it can be confused with infatuation. If you have family or friends that tell you the relationship is bad or isn't going to work, take that into consideration. Try to take a step back and look at the situation. On a happier note, best advice I've gotten is 'Love is a choice' The feeling will come and go. If you really want to have a long term relationship, you'll have to chose to love when things are hard."
When it comes to marriage, these ideas may be more of a miss than bliss.
"Get married first. You can take your time to get to know them after that."
"WHAT THE F'K."
"Arbitrary External Standards"
"'Marriage is meant to be holy, not happy.' This was genuine advice from my (at the time) MIL while my marriage was actively failing and my then - husband manipulating and gas lighting me. And I believed it at the time. F'k that, don't structure your relationships around arbitrary external standards."
That Glue That Shouldn't Hold It All Together
"Stay together for the kids."
"It's not in the kid's best interest when the relationship is abusive."
Maybe some of these work in your relationships. Or maybe not.
The thing about most relationships is that open communication can usually solve many of the problems, and that is more effective than any old adage casually dispensed to you by a well-meaning friend.
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"Reddit user nlwfty asked: 'What's the most out-of-touch thing you've heard someone say?'"
I have been left utterly bewildered by what some people believe is acceptable thought, conversation, and behavior.
Like... "Do YOU hear you?"
It shows when a person lacks life experience and/or brain cells.
Words expose everything.
And sometimes shock is all that is left to grapple with.
Redditor nlwfty wanted to hear about all the things people have overheard that left them utterly stunned, so they asked:
"What's the most out-of-touch thing you've heard someone say?"
I once a friend's friend moan about how she and her husband were nearly destitute.
All while she was straightening up the house for the new au pair they had just gotten from Columbia.
The Who?Over It Maid GIFGiphy
"My boss once told me to have 'the maid' drop my car at the shop. WTF!!"
"'You won't be happier at work if we pay you more, but we need to figure out why workplace happiness is so low.' This coming from a guy that made 10x what I did and was born into old money."
"I had a job that was paying below market rates and 'expected' daily overtime (unpaid, natch) and was trying to figure out how to improve morale. They were considering bringing in consoles and having video game nights after work... as if we weren't stuck there too long already."
"I did have the fun of leaving, then being asked to come back as a contractor to help out, and taking advantage of being on a short-term contract and giving no f**ks to suggest that maybe they should consider at least TRACKING the overtime people were working, even if they weren't going to pay for it since there was probably a whole extra job's worth of hours in there and maybe hiring another person might improve morale and reduce the risk of the kind of errors tired people make."
"Didn't stay long as a temp. Apparently telling the truth and discussing facts with your co-workers isn't good for morale >_< They told everyone I was leaving because I got a better offer (!), but I told everyone exactly what was really happening when they asked XD."
"My dad (who is now the Director of Accounting for the school district I teach for) was talking about how my starting pay was way more than his starting pay."
"I said, 'Well, yeah... The cost of living has increased a ton since then.' This motherf**ker straight up said, 'No it hasn't.'"
"He started working there in 1992. This conversation happened in like 2017 (about a year after I started working there). Again, he is the director of accounting."
"'You seem sad.'"
"My mother to my sister, at her husband's funeral."
"My sister's son was murdered. Two weeks later my mom asked her if she was over it yet."
"One of my sons was murdered 12 years ago. Many people started telling me that I needed to 'move on' after 4-6 weeks. My brother refuses to say my son's name, so I no longer speak to him. Sending my deepest condolences to your family from a mom who understands losing a child to homicide."
Good Idea!New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy
“'I don’t know why people get big mortgages. Just save up for a few months and pay cash for a starter home!'"
People with money always seem to have a plan, unless the plan is sharing.
FInd the TreasureDragons Den Television GIF by CBCGiphy
"When people were complaining about not being able to afford housing/food/living in general, one of the Dutch ministers (I think he was a minister or at least the leader of a party) said something along the line of 'well, find a rich boyfriend then'. ah, yes, that will solve the crisis!"
"I went to an Ivy League college with lots of children of extraordinarily wealthy families. When discussing inequality and its effects on housing, my professor briefly mentioned how mortgages are out of reach for a growing number of Americans. The girl next to me stopped the class, and with a confused face asked the professor why people don’t just buy their homes in cash outright because 'surely the interest means it will cost them more over time.' The professor was dumbfounded. I found out later that she is the heiress to a major luxury brand that you have all heard of."
"My former landlord and his wife dropped by to tell me and my financially struggling 20-something roommates that they were raising the rent, by nearly 25%. They said, 'We noticed on Craigslist that neighbors had higher rent so we’re doing the same.' The wife then earnestly reminded us that we’ve been great tenants but maybe we just needed to find some higher-paying jobs. 🙃."
"I was waxing a woman’s eyebrows once and she was complaining that sometimes after she gets a massage the pillow leaves a circular indent on her face and she can’t go out to lunch after. She then asked me if that ever happened to me? I was like ma'am I wax people for eleven bucks an hour; I’m not going out to lunch lol, let alone getting massages."
InvestmentsMoney Invest GIF by ProBit GlobalGiphy
"Something like: Give a rich person $500 and they will invest it into $1000. Give it to a poor person and they will spend it in a week."
"Yeah exactly give it to someone who’s needs are met and they can save… give it to someone who needs to eat/pay rent etc they will spend it to survive!"
You need money to make money.
One of life's biggest lessons apparently.
So someone give me some money.
When we thing of something being gross, or nasty, or cruel, there are certain examples that we can all think of, like bullying or an uncleaned bathroom.
But there are other things in our lives that are actually much nastier than we would expect them to be, and we can only really uncover the truth by taking a closer look at them.
Cringing already, Redditor Strawberry_no_cake asked:
"What is nastier than people realize?"
Not So Sweet Now
"Ice machines in restaurants."
"I worked at a golf course after I lost my law firm internship during the pandemic. I basically just cooked people easy food (burgers, hot dogs, fries, BLTs, etc.) and tended bar in the clubhouse."
"I can confirm that the ice machine can get gross. I’d always do a quick wipe down clean if I saw anything on the ice, but it was typically on parts of the machine that never touched the actual ice we’d use."
Unexpected, but Makes Sense
"RN here: Hospital floors!"
"Seems obvious, but apparently it isn’t. I can’t believe how many folks will allow their CHILDREN to sit or play on the floors, or just generally treat them like they are sterile. I don’t even wear my work shoes into my own house."
"The other day I spilled a few drops of tea on the floor where I work… gave it a very light wipe with a cloth and the cloth was BLACK."
"I think people assume that since it’s a hospital the floors are in mint condition… absolutely no way, lol (laughing out loud)."
Secondary Symptoms in Autoimmune Diseases
"Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis."
"Thanks to drug company ads, most people think it's just about going to the bathroom a few times a day. There's never any mention of fissures, fistulas, fevers, extreme pain, extreme fatigue, depression, anemia, drug side effects, joint pain, painful and horrific surgeries, mouth sores, skin disorders, etc."
Our Enemies Don't Even Deserve This
"Dementia, especially advanced dementia. It's not just quirky memory problems, your brain controls every bodily function."
Carer Fatigue is Real
"Being a caregiver. Again, people know it might be nasty, but I think they still overlook the awful experience it is for people who are caring for an elder."
"My mom took care of my bedridden grandmother for three years. The amount of s**t everywhere (she had chronic diarrhea, and I don't know if it's just me, but old people's s**t smells like something of another realm), awful body odor (even when we were cleaning her constantly), the difficulty of changing diapers/sheets/covers as constantly as she needed (at least two times during the night)."
"So what I meant is that sometimes people think is 'nice' of a certain daughter/son to take care of their old parents (at least in my country where putting your parents in facilities is not common). But it's just such an intense, nerve-wracking, hard, and disgusting job, with no breaks, with little rewards (because at least my grandma was not in her right mind), and almost no social recognition that it blows my mind how underappreciated it is."
One Word: Cancer
"Cancer. People know it’s nasty. People know it’s nasty as all h**l. But here’s the thing. Going through it myself, I could have never imagined how nasty it truly is."
"I watched my mom fight stage four ovarian cancer 18 years ago (I’m 40 right now for reference). She was so far along, and so riddled with the cancer that she was given weeks to live, and sent away from three oncologists who told her to check into hospice and prepare for the end."
"Thankfully she found an oncologist (who is mine now) who took her in, and went to war with her. They cut her open from the chest down, and spent hours plucking tumors out of her while rearranging her internal organs. Taking out the bad stuff and building what he could with what was left. Then two long rounds of chemo. Hospital visits. Illness left and right. Side effects. Recovery. It was h**l for her, but she beat the odds and lived."
"Watching this, I understood what I could. I saw the pain, but now, going through it myself, couldn’t possibly comprehend how bad it truly was. I saw the illness, the nausea, the neuropathy, all the stupid side effects that hit you for no reason at all."
"So yeah, cancer. Everyone knows it’s nasty, but man is it even worse than that!"
"Luggage. It gets rolled throughout the world, often in gross airport bathrooms where floors are literally wet with pee, and then when people get to their destination, the first thing they do is toss it on the bed to unpack."
"Come to think of it, this also makes hotel comforters that never get washed even more disgusting."
That One Article of Clothing
"Your belt. Think about it, it´s basically the only piece of clothing you never wash. And you always have to touch it after you pooped and before you wash your hands."
Dusty Keyboard Keys
"Seriously man, wash that thing. I can see the dirt from your window!"
A World of Germs in Your Pocket
"One time I was in line at a food service place, think Chipotle style where you tell them what you want and they make it behind the counter."
"There was this sweaty Door Dasher guy who couldn’t really articulate the order so he handed his phone to the kid behind the counter. The kid proceeds to take his phone, starts swiping and touching it WITHOUT GLOVES ON, and goes right back to touching people’s food."
Where Has That Been?
"The top of a soda can. People buy them from a store and put it right onto their mouth without hesitation."
Far Beyond the Stereotypes
"OCD. It's not some goofy personality quirk. It's h**l on earth."
"'Oh, you have OCD? Well, how come your house is a mess?'"
"Oh, I dunno, maybe because I'm so consumed with intrusive thoughts I can't function?"
"'lol (laughing out loud), I get those too! They're normal, just ignore them.'"
What We Wear Everywhere
"Shoes. They are filled with sweaty feet and go everywhere. Think about the gas station and airport bathrooms. The bathrooms you can feel the ick in."
Also, Watch Straps
"Your watch strap: mine is white and the notches for the buckle go all the way around and every week I have to clean out all the lint and build up to stop it going funky. Makes me shudder at the idea of other watch straps where it may not be as obvious."
Kids Who Don't Know Better
"Speaking as a teacher of four- to five-year-olds:"
"Kids with colds who do not know how to blow their noses or cover their coughs and sneezes. Sometimes they just leave the snot on their faces, or wipe it on their clothes. They can produce a mind-boggling amount of snot!"
"The awful gross things kids will willingly put in their mouths, and then share with others!"
"I love them regardless!"
We're absolutely squirming at the thought of all of these situations, mostly because we haven't thought about them to this degree before, or perhaps even considered it (we're looking at you, belts).
Take this as a reminder to clean the things you haven't in a while, and perhaps take some extra health precautions in public spaces where other people may not be.
Do you ever wonder what it must've been like to experience major events throughout world history when reading about them in text books?
But if you take pause and actually think about it, we're living through many newsworthy current events that succeeding generations will be talking about long after we're gone.
Reading about them online or in newspapers is one thing. But seeing them happen unfold before our eyes is another.
"What is the most historically significant event you witnessed IN PERSON?"
People recall the natural disaster events they've witnessed.
"1964 Good Friday Earthquake 9.2 Richter. Was a boy in Cordova, Alaska at the time."
"My father was skipper of the USCG cutter stationed there. He was inport, and when the quake struck shortly before 5:30pm, he and my mom gathered me and my three siblings on the front porch. At first, it felt like the house was crumbling at the foundation, but on the porch we could plainly see our whole world was shaking. I remember watching telephone poles swaying, and the wires snapping and crackling in the street. The quake lasted about five minutes initially. My dad got his ship underway to avoid the tidal wave which was sure to come. We had several aftershocks in the coming weeks, some of which were quite strong, though nowhere near as strong or as long as the quake itself. I was seven at the time."
"October 17th, 1989. I watched the 880 Nimitz freeway collapse during the San Francisco earthquake. The Honda in front of me had the upper deck crush her front-end engine compartment. The mother and her daughter were shaken up but completely fine."
"I was driving a convertible Triumph Spitfire, which was scratched up slightly from debris. However, I walked away unscathed. Aside from the fact I pissed my pants, which I didn't notice until much later."
Thar She Blows
"I sat on the roof of our house and watched Mt. St. Helens erupt less than 100 miles away."
"This must have been fascinating and terryfing in equal measure. What a thing to witness."
"It was amazing! The ash that covered everything like snow was interesting to kid me, but less so to my parents."
People recall seeing major catastrophes as a result of malfunctions or judgement errors.
"The b-52 crash that led to changing what large military aircraft are allowed to do for airshows."
"I didn't see the plane, but immediately saw the fireball. It was just a perfect, bright red turning to black mushroom cloud."
"Fairchild is a nuclear air base and there were a few minutes there where I was sure the world was about to end."
"A few years before a KC-135 doing the same thing crashed near the school while we were in class."
"I was standing on my front porch watching the launch of the Challenger."
"Was riding in my parents car to a basketball game in the next town over in north texas when we saw a shooting star and thought that was neat."
"It was the Columbia..."
Demolition Gone Wrong
"The failed implosion of the Zip feed mill in Sioux Falls, SD in 2005."
"They hyped it up, sold tickets to it, had a big 'BOOM' marketing thing, and broadcast it live on TV."
"The explosives took out the main supports on the first floor, and the rest of the building above it just plopped down 10ft or so and came to a rest. It was a massive failure, and was a funny little blurb on news stations around the world that day. Definitely not major news, just the rest of the world taking 20 seconds to laugh at us."
"The building sat like that (the leaning tower of SuFu) for quite a while until they figured out how to safely demolish it."
"Here's a clip of the failed demolition."
These well-known historical events were seen by very few who are alive today.
"The tumbling of the Wall in Germany… along with people selling bits and pieces of it on tables in lobby in front of commissary and px in the following weeks and months. I had picked up a chunk about the size of an oreo and kept it… has blue spray paint on the flat side. Wonder if anyone is buying them now?"
"I would have to say the LA riots. I lived about two blocks from where it started. I was on my way home from school and saw someone throw a brick through a window. I didn’t even wait. I just started running the whole way home."
Day Of Infamy
"9/11, I could SMELL the collapse of the towers."
"A friend of mine was there. One day in the warehouse we worked in together there was an odd electrical burning smell. He stopped in his tracks and went 'this is what 9/11 smelled like.'"
I didn't physically witness the fall of the World Trade Center but I was living in New York City at the time.
However, I did see the smoke.
I was living up north in Washington Heights at the time and knowing what happened, uncertain of what was to come, and seeing the plumes of smoke from the attack site was the most ominous sight I've ever seen in my life to date.
Have you ever lived through a historic moment or witnessed something sure to be noted in history books? Let us know in the comments below.
A job search is not fun, so most people will tolerate a lot to keep a job.
But everyone has their limit.
Sometimes that limit is reached right in the middle of a work day and people are forced to walk off the job with no prior notice.
Reddit user thann3 asked:
"Have you ever gotten up and quit your job in the middle of a work shift? If so, why?"
"I was a bar back in my 20s, and I had an incredibly abusive boss. It was a weekend night, and the bar had two floors, and I was the only bar back that night, and there was only one bartender on each floor."
"At about midnight, food orders would start coming in left and right, and that night was no exception."
"Between having to empty out ashtrays, pick up dirty glasses, clean tables, wash dishes, and make all of the food orders, I couldn’t keep up."
"My boss got very angry with me because I was behind on food orders and people were starting to get upset about having tables with empty glasses and very delayed food orders."
"She summoned me over to the bar, grabbed me by the shirt collar, shook me, and screamed in my face, 'Just get me through the rest of the f**king night and then you can quit!'."
"I was in disbelief, and went back upstairs."
"I looked at all of the tickets I had left to make, and just decided that job wasn’t worth it."
"I turned off the grill and the fryers, turned the light off in the kitchen, threw my towel in the dirty towel hamper, and walked out."
"That was the night I stopped taking other peoples’ sh*t."
"Dell computer sales 1998."
"They fired 90% of all the commission making sales people and replaced them with hourly workers from a temp agency."
"They then asked me to train them. I was like, 'maybe you should have trained them before firing everyone— why would I train them so you can fire me in 2 weeks?'."
"I then grabbed my sh*t and noped out of there!"
Fight Club 🥊
"Temp agency sent me for assignment to a small factory making furniture."
"7am start time. At 7:03 or :04 , while still waiting for some sort of foreman/ supervisor to come over & say hello, here's what we do here ........ coupla dudes start shouting at each other & it breaks out into full blown fisticuffs."
"Yeah, I'd seen enough."
"Funny how I have a completely crystal clear memory of looking at the clock in my car as I drove away. 7:12am."
At the Car Wash
"I worked at a car wash during the winter in the wet tunnel."
"Manager got in my face for wearing a coat that didn’t have the company logo on it, but they didn’t make uniform coats. Told him to eat my entire a** and choke on it, and then left."
"It gets below zero here regularly, I’m not risking my life or even my comfort for $12 an hour."
All Day, All Night
"Dishtank. Only job I ever walked off of mid-shift."
"We had a new manager who was lazy and chased the women waitstaff. I cooked, did expo, prep, dishtank, and in a pinch I did waitstaff but new manager always tossed me in to dish tank."
"One day I opened the store at 430am as prep, then cooked until about 3pm; new manager comes in and tells me as I am leaving to 'get my a** back to the dishtank, that I am closing there tonight'."
"I told him I opened, preppeqd and cooked until now, and that I had sh*t to do tonight (I had a date)—to which he laughed."
"I told him to f*ck right off and walked out."
"Got a job delivering pizza for more money and better hours. F*ck you, Mark."
"I was a cook and new manager kept making me cover the dish pit cuz dishwasher was not showing up. They refused to hire another one and were making him work 7 days/week."
"I told him if he kept making me close dish pit I was gonna put my 2 weeks in."
"He said 'good' and went back to cooking. So I went and grabbed my shoes and backpack, got his attention, he turned around and I gave him a peace sign and left."
"Keep in mind I had been there for three years, worked as a busser, dishwasher, server, host, cook… I did everything they asked."
"He had only been our manager for 2 months."
"I was 17 and just finshed mopping the floor at closing time and was walking out the door."
"The owner's son walked across the floor in boots covered in motor oil and told me to 'mop this sh*t up'."
"I dropped the mop on the foor and told him to do it himself."
"I was being paid minimum wage and wasn't going to deal with that sh*t."
Not Lovin' It
"I started at a McDonald's because I was desperate."
"First day, it's already 2 hours past the time I was supposed to go home, but they kept telling me I had to stay and wait (for what exactly?)."
"Finally they said to sweep the kitchen and go home. I swept everything into a big pile, was about to put it into the dustpan when the shift lead came by and said 'looks good!' then she kicked the pile out and said 'now do it again'."
"I made myself an ice cream cone and left."
"After I retired early (at 50) I thought that a job at the local Tim Hortons would be perfect. Part time, no stress, and I enjoy seniors and our sleepy town of 2000 had a high percentage of seniors."
"Most of 'training' was me fixing the computers to get them to work so that I could actually watch the training videos. That was week one."
"Week two I realized how slow the location was, despite being on the highway. We had a lunch rush and it was pretty slow other than that."
"Two days into week two and I was already recognizing the regulars."
"Seniors in their 70/80's who would come and get one coffee in a China cup and ask that I fill it as much as I can because we didn't give refills."
"No problems, it drove me nuts to dump coffee after 20 minutes and not offer it to them."
"Problem was, very few of them could carry these full cups to the tables. No worries from me, I'd bring their coffee to them.
"As I said, the location was slow and days were long and boring. It was no big deal to carry coffee cups for a few seniors and make them smile.Twice that second day working the floor I got in sh*t for doing that.
"I pointed out that there was no one else in the store and it just took me moments. Their response was 'we are not a full service restaurant, let them carry their own coffees'."
"I stood like a useless fool behind the counter when the next group of seniors came in, feeling like an idiot."
"Break time came. I grabbed my coat and went out back for a smoke. Halfway through my break, with one of the managers, I said 'f**k this. I can't treat people like this. Sorry.' and walked home never to return as an employee."
"On the rare occasion that I go there as a customer, I'll jump up from my table to assist any seniors that I see and now they can't do a damned thing about it."
Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot! 🥵
"I was a dishwasher, had worked there 2 weeks."
"The air conditioning (A/C) for kitchen and office both broke the day before I started."
"Office A/C was fixed the following day, kitchen A/C 'wasn't priority '. It was a heatwave in August, hitting 115° outside."
"The whole kitchen staff walked out."
"I was looking for work and took anything I could find, unfortunately the job I found was telemarketing."
"Anyway the work sucked and I hated it, I always took no for an answer and that got me in lots of trouble."
"They kept putting me in a room with this old VHS tape on pressure tactics and never taking no for an answer. The tape went for an hour so I just had a nap instead."
"Thankfully I was also looking for work on the side and found/got a job at the local supermarket, so I knew I had a backup plan."
"The next time they put me in that room with that tape, I had a nap again."
"When I came out they said 'if you have to go in there again your position will be terminated'."
"I just said 'I'll save you the trouble, I quit'."
"That really pissed them off because they were already understaffed."
"Same thing happened to me."
"Everyone yelling at me or hanging up."
"Boss pressuring me to make more calls."
"Took my lunch break and never went back."
Don't Mess With the IRS
"Day 2. Owner tells me that he pays taxes for us so he pays cash and it is after taxes."
"So $7.50 and not the $10/hr we agreed to."
"I walked out and called the IRS hotline to report fraud."
Have you ever quit a job in the middle of the work day?
Share your story in the comments.