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Look back far enough in your ancestry, and you're liable to find something dark.


But for some Redditors who posted in a recent thread, the dark secrets didn't require much digging to find. In fact, the perpetrators--or victims, as some of the stories showed--are still alive today, complete with sealed lips and awkward family gatherings.

Bloodshed, adultery, and societal shunning were common themes ringing through many of the secrets shared under the cover of internet anonymity.

A look at some of the best posts may leave you feeling like sensational movies and novels aren't actually so far off from how this stuff really goes down.

Al-Anka asked, "What is your darkest family secret?"

A Key Detail Comes to Light 

"My grandfather was killed in a bar when my father was still a toddler. The official story was that he was murdered over a pinball game (back then pinball was pretty serious, I guess)."

"It wasn't until recently my grandmother confessed, on her death bed, that my grandfather actually killed someone and buried the body, days before his own demise. So he was actually killed in retaliation for a murder that he committed."

"My grandmother kept this secret for almost 65 years."

-- itsovermyhead

For One Person, An Impossible Secret to Keep

"It's me. My dad never told his family I existed. I was shameful, maybe he was more ashamed."

"After he died they found out about me and kindly asked me not to come to the funeral. I get why he never told them."

-- ninetiesluddite

Nepotism With an Extra Red Flag 

"My dad gave a job to a cousin. I remember as a kid that this cousin I'd never heard of just suddenly popped up out of nowhere without explanation but I was a kid so didn't really think of it, but everyone made a big deal out of how great it was for my dad to give him a job."

"I found out 20 years later that the cousin had been in prison for having a relationship with a student."

-- dj_baberahamlincoln

Some Stones Are Better Left Un-Turned

"A year or two after her adoptive mother died, my mom went looking for information about her birth parents, and found that her birth mom and her husband had been gruesomely murdered by a drug cartel."

"There was an article about their murder in Rolling Stone magazine that had gory pictures of their bodies."

-- hemulaformis

She Lived to Tell

"My cousin, once removed (my parent's cousin) was kidnapped and tortured by a serial killer. She was (after many days) dropped off near a running path with her neck slit."

"She lived (unlike the other 3) and she could lead the police to his home. He is still in prison."

"As a child I heard whispering of it and didn't find out the whole truth until I was older."

-- instrangestofplaces

Capitalizing On Your Resources

"I had an uncle who moved far away, worked in a boiler room at a huge casino, decades ago. He was always sketchy, and he had way more money than a simple boiler room employee ought to have had."

"Rumours that the boiler room was a really useful thing for the mob, due to boilers doubling as incinerators for certain purposes. Hence the money. Many unanswered questions there."

-- UtopiaForest

Sounds Like Classic 1930s Stuff

"My great grandfather shot and killed a man in his grocery store back in the 30s over a poker game."

"He ran a speak easy out of the back of his store and lost almost $2k so as the guy was walking out the front after the store closed he shot him and got away with it by telling the police the man robbed him."

"It wasn't until he was on his death bed he told my grandfather what had happened."

-- CowMajorAU

Based On True Events 

"In the film Driving Miss Daisy, when the chauffeur (played by Morgan Freeman) is driving Miss Daisy to worship service, they get stuck in a traffic jam. He gets out to see what the hold-up is."

"When he gets back in, he says 'you won't be going to service today, somebody done bombed the temple.' (Hebrew Benevolent Congregation Temple, Atlanta, 1958)."

"She says 'What - who would do such a thing?'"

"My uncle, that's who."

-- Igotthesilver

Cool as Cucumbers

"Father won the lottery and we've been pretending to be poor so our family doesn't try to ask for money." -- holyydiver32

"Safest bet. Family turn at even the chance of running someone else into the ground for money. Your father is a clever man" -- Pudgeysaurus

"That's a solid strategy especially with family who believe that NO is a suggestion and not a statement." -- Goinghame

An Unfortunate Thing To Fear 

"One family member killed another by leaving a bag of poisoned donuts on the front steps. We are now 'hesitant' about accepting donuts." -- grouchycyborg

"Where do you live with such frivolous donut dispersion?" -- Sigg3net

"I'm just imaging your whole family being sceptical about ever being offered a donut and it has made me chuckle. Sorry for your loss tho." -- MonsterMunch86

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Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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