Ninety percent of the time, our children are what we make them. If you're a parent with an active role in your child's life regardless of your marital status you're going to inevitably rub off on them. Now you hope for that best, that they follow your more appealing traits and not your Dr. Hyde mentalities, but life and child rearing isn't a perfect science. And we all tend to forget.... they are always watching.
Redditor u/ADyingInfadel wanted all the divorcees out there to fess up a few secrets about their kids that they aren't crazy about....
Sticky Fingers Jr....
GiphyTake money from my wallet secretly. NerdyishGuy
You should get that ultra violet light ink/powder stuff that you can put on your wallet so that rather than wonder if they've done it and feel guilty about wondering if your kids have stolen from you, you can just check their hands with a UV torch, tell them they are terrible people and give them coal for Xmas.
It may seem harsh, but it's far harsher to let your kids grow up to be users. Se7enworlds
Bad Words.
They say "acrosst." No idea where that "t" comes from but it needs to die. onejdc
Tonal Crap.
The contempt in their voices when they talked to me. I didn't realize just how much they had picked it up from him, until he left. It was hurtful to me, but I also realized that it wasn't good for them to grow up thinking that was an acceptable way to treat people, *especially* people you loved.
It took a bit of work - me correcting their tone and words in a loving but firm way. Telling them "it hurts my feelings when you talk to me like that, I don't appreciate it. I speak kindly and respectfully to you, and I expect the same." I know it sounds like a weird script, but I needed that to keep from having the emotional reaction that their father brought out in me.
I didn't want to fall in to this awful thing where I was mad at my kids for being like their dad, but I also didn't want to be told I was a piece of crap all the time either, by tone or the actual words.
It's been several years and it really didn't take that long to help them change it. They are much older now and of course there were normal teenager things that are frustrating for all parents, but thankfully they don't talk down to me anymore. NerdySciFiChick
So... the basics...
Lie, cheat, and steal. hardstripe
Everybody's doing it. Reddit
Viva la Raza? swampy13
No. More. TOWEEEEELLLLSSSS!!!
GiphyAs the kid- I wasn't allowed to use a towel to dry my glasses after cleaning them, because that's what my father's family did. I had to use a tissue. contractjunkie
Incorrigible.
My former brother in law is a vapid and materialistic individual, whenever my oldest nephew is returned to my side of the family he is an incorrigible little fool for a few days. My niece is depressed and the youngest nephew is the wisest of them all and essentially ignores his father. Their father isn't a bad guy, he just never grew up past 23 and that is not really a good trait when you are trying to raise teenagers. Leucippus1Leucippus1
2 boys.
2 boys. One is extra sensitive like his father. I'm not talking about sensitive like "this is a sad movie". I'm talking sensitive like "What do you mean you don't like this hat? I'm never speaking to you again! Why do you hate me????" Bubbysgrl
Be Humble.
My ex used to refer to his family's possessions as his. The business his parents owned was his. Ex FIL collected antique cars which my ex claimed he owned. On and on about his house in X, his boat, his (insert valuable object her). He didn't purchase any of the fine things his parents owned but had no problem proclaiming himself the owner.
One of my daughters picked up the habit. Drives me nuts to hear her brag about her stuff!! peace-love-and-paws
Kid is 8.....
Has a crazy irrational temper and likes to blame everyone else for his issues... like father like son. Kid is 8. Jeez. Don't worry, he's making progress in therapy, unlike his father. ayoungcmt
"What is the hardest part of dating after 30?"
Not Everyone Wants A Package Deal
"Realizing that the number of single parents is larger than you’d expect."- dhabo1030
"Some people have kids or want them soon."
"And emotional baggage."- Psyblade0_0
"Kids, whether you have them or not, is something to talk and consider immediately before starting anything."- Crisb89
"For me, it was finding someone who didn't have kids, and didn't want them."
"At that point in my life, I was (and still am) 100% sure I don't want kids."
"Finding a long-term partner who wants the same was pretty tough."- Toiletpaperplane
Playing Happy Children GIF by MOODMANEveryone's In A Hurry
"'Dating after 30 is like catching a city bus after midnight'."
"'There aren't as many, but they're faster'."- civex
How Long Have You Got?
"Online dating sucks and all my friends are married or dead or single fathers."
"So I am on my own for the most part."- somedude-83
"It's not all fun and games anymore."
"People feel late or behind."
"First dates often: are we compatible, do you want kids, are you OK with my kids, are you ready for a serious relationship, do you make enough money, do you own a home, politics?"
"Religion."
"I don't have time to mess with you if we aren't a match because I'm in my 30s and supposed to be married and having kids."
"The days of just light fun dating are less common."- ZLVe96
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphyEmotional And/Or Excess Baggage
"Geez."
"You sometimes pay for what their ex did to them."- JJJAAABBB123
Rising Standards And Expectations
"You have your preferences narrowed down a LOT more than you did in your 20s, thus finding a compatible partner is more difficult."
"Especially if you dislike kids."- Clintman
"Many people want 'high value' partners while having no value."- Zetterburger40
Sassy Red Wine GIF by Married At First SightGiphySolo routines Can Be Hard To Shake...
"I've learned I prefer my own company."- PrinceEnternalStench
Alternative Methods...
"The summoning rituals you have to go through."- AdCareful5654
Wait Till Your 40s...
"Wait until they’re over 45."
"Most are divorced and have been alone for a while."
"It‘s a reset of dating and they’re open to try something new."
"That person who was out of your league is now squarely in your court."
"Go for it!"- macgiv
See Ya Goodbye GIF by MaxGiphyGood Luck Getting A Good Night's Sleep...
"CPAP Machines."- Reddit
As long as you are single, finding love is one of the many things you think you might never achieve with each passing year.
However, when you do finally find that one true love, no matter when or how old you are, you will realize in no time at all it was definitely worth the wait.