Ninety percent of the time, our children are what we make them. If you're a parent with an active role in your child's life regardless of your marital status you're going to inevitably rub off on them. Now you hope for that best, that they follow your more appealing traits and not your Dr. Hyde mentalities, but life and child rearing isn't a perfect science. And we all tend to forget.... they are always watching.
Redditor u/ADyingInfadel wanted all the divorcees out there to fess up a few secrets about their kids that they aren't crazy about....
Sticky Fingers Jr....
GiphyTake money from my wallet secretly. NerdyishGuy
You should get that ultra violet light ink/powder stuff that you can put on your wallet so that rather than wonder if they've done it and feel guilty about wondering if your kids have stolen from you, you can just check their hands with a UV torch, tell them they are terrible people and give them coal for Xmas.
It may seem harsh, but it's far harsher to let your kids grow up to be users. Se7enworlds
Bad Words.
They say "acrosst." No idea where that "t" comes from but it needs to die. onejdc
Tonal Crap.
The contempt in their voices when they talked to me. I didn't realize just how much they had picked it up from him, until he left. It was hurtful to me, but I also realized that it wasn't good for them to grow up thinking that was an acceptable way to treat people, *especially* people you loved.
It took a bit of work - me correcting their tone and words in a loving but firm way. Telling them "it hurts my feelings when you talk to me like that, I don't appreciate it. I speak kindly and respectfully to you, and I expect the same." I know it sounds like a weird script, but I needed that to keep from having the emotional reaction that their father brought out in me.
I didn't want to fall in to this awful thing where I was mad at my kids for being like their dad, but I also didn't want to be told I was a piece of crap all the time either, by tone or the actual words.
It's been several years and it really didn't take that long to help them change it. They are much older now and of course there were normal teenager things that are frustrating for all parents, but thankfully they don't talk down to me anymore. NerdySciFiChick
So... the basics...
Lie, cheat, and steal. hardstripe
Everybody's doing it. Reddit
Viva la Raza? swampy13
No. More. TOWEEEEELLLLSSSS!!!
GiphyAs the kid- I wasn't allowed to use a towel to dry my glasses after cleaning them, because that's what my father's family did. I had to use a tissue. contractjunkie
Incorrigible.
My former brother in law is a vapid and materialistic individual, whenever my oldest nephew is returned to my side of the family he is an incorrigible little fool for a few days. My niece is depressed and the youngest nephew is the wisest of them all and essentially ignores his father. Their father isn't a bad guy, he just never grew up past 23 and that is not really a good trait when you are trying to raise teenagers. Leucippus1Leucippus1
2 boys.
2 boys. One is extra sensitive like his father. I'm not talking about sensitive like "this is a sad movie". I'm talking sensitive like "What do you mean you don't like this hat? I'm never speaking to you again! Why do you hate me????" Bubbysgrl
Be Humble.
My ex used to refer to his family's possessions as his. The business his parents owned was his. Ex FIL collected antique cars which my ex claimed he owned. On and on about his house in X, his boat, his (insert valuable object her). He didn't purchase any of the fine things his parents owned but had no problem proclaiming himself the owner.
One of my daughters picked up the habit. Drives me nuts to hear her brag about her stuff!! peace-love-and-paws
Kid is 8.....
Has a crazy irrational temper and likes to blame everyone else for his issues... like father like son. Kid is 8. Jeez. Don't worry, he's making progress in therapy, unlike his father. ayoungcmt
“'Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience'.” What's your best real life example of this?"
They Literally Won't be "Shut Down"
"When I tell people to just reboot your computer and it will fix all their problems and yet they won't because they said if you wait long enough it will shut down, when in reality it only goes to sleep."
"Then when I tell them they have to completely shut it down they look at me like I'm an idiot and say they did."
"I tell them it seems like it but it only went to sleep."
"They argue back."- niallaa
Some People Just Don't Get It...
"I used to argue a lot with my sister when we were kids."
"She would do this thing where she would say something, and then I would reference back to it literally a minute or two later to prove a point and she would say 'I never said that' or 'that’s not what I said'."
"Absolutely impossible to argue with someone who will just deny having said things that could hurt their argument."
"Also, trying to change the course of an argument if they feel like they are 'losing'."
"A coworker once called me an idiot for doing something 'incorrectly' when I was actually doing it the right way."
"When I politely explained to them that the way they suggested doing the task didn’t actually work, they started asking 'why are you getting so angry?? I was just trying to help' etc."
"So now we’re arguing about whether I’m angry or not instead of the right way to complete the task."- themightypianocat
Facts Are Facts...
"Arguing is pointless if you do not agree on a set of facts."- niallaa
Facts GIF by Judge JerryGiphyYou Can't Have It Both Ways...
"For a short while, I worked as a line cook at a Cracker Barrel, and there was a little saloon style door that led to the staff section (kitchen, bathroom, etc)."
"There was a staff only sign on the door, above the doors, and on the wall behind the doors at eye level."
"Usually if someone from the customer side comes in, they said, 'Coming in' before opening the door, so they didn't hit anyone, but of course customers didn't know that."
"So when this dude opened the door and hit a waitress carrying a ton of drinks, we were reasonably upset with him."
"He said, ;You should really put a sign up'."
"We showed him all the signs, and he goes, 'That seems a bit excessive'."- GreyFoxHound1
So Wrong.
"Had an employee sign an NDA about an upcoming art installation that had investors."
"He told everyone."
"He argued with me the NDA only meant he couldn’t disclose anything with the people in the company."- BosskHogg
He Knew What He Was Talking About
This was best said:
“'Never wrestle with pigs'."
"'You both get dirty and the pig likes it'.― George Bernard Shaw"- Zerowantuthri·
pigs GIFGiphySome Outdated Inventions Are Definitely Not Missed...
"I’m showing my age here but I used to work for an estate agency, and we had sales offices set up at the site of large new housing developments."
"Our primary method of communication was fax."
"One of the sales associates telephoned our office to say that the fax machine had run out of paper."
"No problem, I said, one of the guys is coming your way later for a house tour, I’ll give him a box of paper to give to you."
"We then had an almost 20 minute long argument when they kept insisting 'NO, YOU JUST SEND ME A BLANK FAX BECAUSE I NEED THE PAPER, IT WILL JUST COME OUT OF MY FAX MACHINE'.”
"It was like trying to nail jelly to a tree."
"Difficult, irritating, and it achieved nothing."- BettieKat
Very Few Hills Are Worth Dying On...
"I had a friend in university who was a world-class high school debater."
"Over meals, she liked to pick a ridiculous proposition and then talk circles around people until they had to concede to her point, no matter how absurd."
"When she tried it with me, I just stonewalled her."
"Met every point with a solid 'I don't think that's true'." or 'That doesn't make sense'."
"Eventually she gave up and never tried it with me again."
"It was the only time I've ever used the tactics of the stupid to win an argument."
"But, to be fair, if you're not arguing with me in good faith, I feel no obligation to respond in good faith."- kitskill
IS The Customer Always Right?...
"Working retail."
"Especially when I worked in the tech shop or a computer store."
" Trying to convince someone their $500 laptop is never going to be a gaming system no matter how many of the very few replaceable parts we throw at it can be exhausting."- MOS95B
happy episode 7 GIFGiphyEducation Only Matters If You Learned Something....
"Was arguing with this dude about something math-related."
"He didn’t know how to read a study that involved statistics. claimed he was in multiple AP math classes."
"Tried saying that I 'probably don’t even know basic integration'."
"Gave me a common integration problem."
"He wrote it but forgot the minus sign, making it unsolvable."
"I pointed it out and he edited the comment to make it correct."
"Told him that some people can see when you edit comments."
"He claimed that he just capitalized a letter. on and on and on."- SaturdayNightCity
Good Legal Counsel Might Be Worth The Splurge...
"I asked a representative from the Friend of the Court to explain something she said and she told me that I understood what she was saying."
"I replied that I wouldn't have asked her to explain if I had understood."
"She said if I was going to be difficult, she would hold me in contempt."
"My X chimed in that she didn't quite understand what she had said and was greeted with a smile and an explanation."
"From that point on I always disagreed with the Friend of the Court on EVERYTHING, so that I could be seen by the 'Actual Court' and a Judge."- PURPLEPEE
Season 4 Episode 21 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphySore Winners Are No More Attractive Than Sore Losers...
"Once worked with a guy who, by his own admission, got his rocks off by picking fights."
"He'd start an argument over the smallest thing."
"If you said it was white, he'd say it was black, just to try to start something."
"The one that always stood out for me was the weather app competition."
"One day he asked me what temperature it was, so I read it off my weather app."
"He got all offended, because his weather app said it was a couple degrees warmer."
"So he decides we're going to have a weather app competition."
"He was going to chart what our apps said the temperature was, and at the end of the week, whichever one was closest to that day's high would be the winner."
"And the loser would have to start using the winner's app."
"To which I said, "What is your f*cking problem?'"
"So, yeah."
"For the first few days, he'd make a big performance about marching into my office, recording the temperature off my app, jotting down some notes, and walking off."
"This started on a Monday."
"He gave up after Wednesday."
"Either because I was winning, or he was disappointed because, despite his best efforts, I just did not give a f*ck about weather apps."
"Or maybe the boss told him to stop because I filed a complaint that this was bordering on harassment."- originalchaosinabox
Im Always Right GIF by ZionGiphyIt should perhaps be said calling someone an idiot, or even thinking it, is not a particularly nice thing to do.
Even so, if you're tempted to do so when you're in the presence of a particular individual, probably best not to provoke them.
After all, if you're so determined to "win," does it really make you any better than them?