Love is a beautiful, life affirming experience for many. Some love stories are the tales of legend; there are movies made about love and music and literature, so you'd assume it would always be a beautiful thing. Think. Again. Love can also turn dark and cold and vicious. There are movies and art made about that side as well. The dark side is never more on display than when it's the foundation of a divorce.
Redditor u/DarkFander14 wanted to know about the times when divorce proceedings descended into madness by asking.... Divorce lawyers of Reddit, what is the most insane (evil, funny, dumb) way a spouse has tried to screw the other?Interpretations.....
I am an interpreter who works frequently with police and lawyers. The most out there thing I ever interpreted in court went like this:
- Ms. So-and-So, we know each other for a long time, correct?
- Yes.
- As a matter of fact, we have known each other for five years, correct?
- Yes.
- And at the end of each and every meeting we had during the past five years, we always agreed on one thing, correct?
- Yes.
- Please, tell the judge what we agree on.
- It's not okay to break in my ex's apartment and lick all his cutlery.
- Yet, here we are, Ms. So-and-So.
I died 😂😂😂. MsStormyTrump
Slim....
GiphyHad a client whose wife wanted him out of the house. I told him not to leave, just move to a different bedroom for the time being because once he was out the chances of him ever getting back in were slim.
He texted his wife and told her he was staying in the house. She called back and left a VM that she wanted him out and if he wasn't out soon, she would start taking out her unhappiness on the children, and would remind the children that mommy was being mean to them because daddy wouldn't leave. Armada5
So much fun for us kids.
My dad is a divorce attorney. His clients couldn't decide who would get the Labrador puppy's from a new litter they just breed. The pups are worth $1000 a pop. Well they also hadn't been up to date on their payments. So dad brought a litter of 8 floppy puppy's home as collateral for us to have until they could negotiate the settlement. So much fun for us kids. Rogue_Kat15
if mommy loves you.....
I was an assistant for a family law practice, not a lawyer. So it was already a disaster of a divorce because the ex husband was a fool. But it got so much worse when the wife started dating someone new with a severe cat allergy like a year after they split up.
Her psycho ex bought a cat on his time with the kids, except he's not allowed pets at his apartment. He sends the kids back to their mom's house with the cat and all its stuff.
Mom is pissed because she didn't want a cat at all plus her boyfriend is crazy allergic. She calls us asking what to do because her kids are bawling saying that she can't get rid of their new "sibling" and she has the cat in the garage.
Ex told kids "if mommy loves you, she'll let you keep the cat since daddy is not allowed cats at his house." drlitt
$3.50....
Paralegal for a divorce lawyer here. Our client told us he didn't clear out the marital account after the parties filed. Which technically is true, because while he removed $45,000 he left about $3.50 in there. cannabisandcrabs
She didn't want the dog.
GiphyHusband and wife divorce after husband finds out wife is sexting other guys. He goes into a deep depression. They didn't have much. Lots of debt and two dogs. One was a dog he had had since before the marriage. He got her. The other dog was only about 3 years old and was bought to keep the older (7 year old) dog company while they worked.
Wife demanded that since he got his dog that she got the other. He is depressed and just wants to move on so he agrees. She gets the dog and has it put down the next day. She didn't want the dog. She just wanted to hurt him. fingawkward
70%....
This one hits close to home because it happened between my parents. We had a family "friend" who was a lawyer and my parents agreed that he would be the lawyer for both of them as a mediator. So, as the assets were being divided my dad got absolutely slammed. She was going to get the house, cars, half his retirement, and an insane amount of alimony. To the tune of like $2,500 a month for the rest of her life. My dad has a good job as a municipal employee, but that was probably 70%ish of his paycheck.
Turns out that my mom and the "family friend" actually conspired to rip my dad off and make it seem like that's what a divorce settlement looks like. And she was going kick back more money under the table after the dust had settled. Dad just didn't know how these things worked. So, after some convincing he finally went out and got his own lawyer. He got a very fair divorce settlement after that.
Mom still to this day can't understand why we don't talk to her much. wowitsclayton
Joke's on her.....
My uncle's ex tried to work it in that she would get half of whatever my grandmother would leave him when she passes. Joke's on her, my grandmother is passing over her kids (not maliciously, my uncle is very well off and so is my mom) and leaving everything to my brother and me.
Oh, also tried to get sole custody of both of their children... who are in their twenty's. eeyousoonbaboon
The Affair....
GiphyPersonal experience, unbeknownst to me, my ex was having an affair. I worked a lot of hours, so I didn't pick up on it.
We had always dreamed of buying a house on a huge local lake to retire in. We literally started shopping for houses and even toured a dozen or so. We found 2 well within our budget, but would need to sell our house first.
My wife convinced me to take out a couple loans in my name and get a couple credit cards, again in my name, (most of the bills were in hers, and the mortgage was in hers) so I did.
I spent about $25k in CC and loans to fully update our house and get it ready for market.
As soon as the work was done, she told me she was leaving me and wanted to sell the house. p4lm3r
Evil.
I'm going to school to be a vet assistant, my teacher is a veterinarian. She told us on Monday she's had clients bring their animals in to be euthanized so their spouse couldn't have them. Smdh. himoto-liz-chan
Everything screwed down!
GiphyOnce had a boss who had to leave his house for 6 hours while his ex wife grabbed all the belongings she was legally entitled too. When he returned home every knob and handle was gone. Door knobs, cabinet handles, drawer handles, anything that was screwed onto something and used to open it, she had taken. Every day for the next week he would occasionally yell out "SHE TOOK THE DAMN KNOBS!!" JortsEnthusiast69
Left the pieces.....
Not my case, but during my first year of law school lawyers from different practices came to give us a peek behind the curtain of different areas.
The divorce lawyer told the story of rather well to do couple that spent months and months and many tens of thousands of dollars fighting over absolutely everything all the way down to a single ceramic ashtray. He couldn't remember the significance, but somehow it had come through the husband's family.
Even after everything else had been decided, they spent many more months and nearly $100,000 fighting over just this ashtray. Then, after a court hearing the wife finally won the ashtray. She promptly strode out to the white courthouse steps... and smashed the ceramic ashtray. Left the pieces all over for the husband to see on his way out.
Decided that day I would not be a divorce lawyer. 105degrees_andrising
5 of 9....
I didn't handle the divorce, I handled parts of the aftermath. In the divorce, she went AWOL, was living in a truck somewhere, and just couldn't handle it mentally.
He gave her five of his nine companies.
They were the ones that owed seven figures in payroll taxes.
He had made her the bookkeeper on paper.
She spent decades trying to shake the IRS for the results. Flintoid
"I didn't know, I was high."
I'm a lawyer but have had a very limited amount of experience in divorce cases. The first case I ever worked the husband shaved/waxed every single hair off his body in an attempt to avoid a court-mandated drug test. NegligentNeanderthal
We had a guy at work do this. Shaved his whole body, razor burn on the back of his neck, cut up his elbows. He was a hairy dude.... Then he failed the urine test. I asked him why he went to all that trouble and he said "I didn't know, I was high." IgotCHUbits
Only in LA.
GiphyA soon-to-be ex-husband left his wife's prized Koi to die on the doorstep of their house. Apparently the value of these fish (six in total) was over $100,000. She was, according to her lawyer, so distraught that she couldn't be in court. Only in LA. hansrudie
Milking it....
IANAL but work in the court system. Once case that came in was a couple divorcing on mutual terms, the husband had one child with her and the wife had a child from the previous marriage. He agreed to pay child support for both children, I guess he really cared about this other enough to support her even though it isn't his obligation.
Judge signs the order, they go to set up the child support account and it gets kicked back saying you can't have two accounts for one child. Turns out she's been collecting child support from the biological father the entire time and never told him. She basically tried to milk two fathers for one child... and the other attorney knew about it. Dikutoy
Silly Rabbit....
GiphyNot my divorce, but my divorce lawyer told me about a case she was involved in where both clients were so petty that they had to all meet to argue over literally every single scrap of everything. The final object that neither would settle on was a ceramic rabbit statue, a really generic one from Home Depot or whatever.
Zero sentimental value but since it was the final item, neither side wanted to "lose" the last thing and they dragged it out over 3 separate meetings for this one thing. I don't remember which ended up getting it, but once they settled it and signed everything, the "winning" party stuck it on their lawyer's desk as a gift and walked out. Much_Difference
Leave the Cats....
Friend was going through divorce from insane husband. He had been texting her pics of the gun he bought and threatening her. Police were called. Nothing they could do because it was 'only a picture'. He was staying with a secret girlfriend at this point. She allowed him to go get his stuff from the house. She was scared to go back in the house alone. I went with her. First red flag was he had changed the locks.
So we waited for locksmith to open the house and change the locks again. Well, when the door opens... we noticed all of the furniture was gone. So we carefully went upstairs in search of her cats. The entire second floor was empty. No cats. No furniture. Even her clothes were gone. Come to find out he hired a moving company to pack and take everything, even the food in the fridge. Finally found the cats.
He had taken them to another vet in town and put them up for boarding under his sister's name thinking she would not be able to find them. He was finally forced to disclose what happened to her possessions. He had them taken to a storage unit far away from the home. JillAustin
-10 degrees
Divorce lawyer here. Spouse had been out of the house for weeks. She waited until he was on a business trip, came into the house, turned on all of the faucets, plugged the drains, turned off the furnace, and left. It was -10 degrees. He came back five days later. The house was ruined. The water froze and cracked the foundation. Slagathar1
Shady.... shady....
GiphyI'm not a divorce lawyer but my parents got divorced about a year ago. My mum didn't want my dad to show up in court because he would contest and then they'd have to split the assets. She phoned me and told me to put laxatives in his food so he wouldn't be able to make it there. She kept screaming at me, commanding me to but I refused. It's one of the reasons that she hates me now lol. Tittybean22
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
There are several things in this life we know to be rare, resulting in millions of people seeking them out, or taking the opportunity to enjoy them.
These include seeing a solar or lunar eclipse, vintage bottles of wine, the first issue of a comic book, or being upgraded to first class without warning.
Sometimes, however, we take for granted certain things we just assume are part of daily life which are, in fact, quite rare.
Be it an uninterrupted night's sleep, a life-threatening illness, or a old recording on our DVR (or, for that matter a VHS!), some things we think can be enjoyed or could happen to anyone might be much harder to come by than we think.
Redditor f*ckandfrolic was curious to learn all about the seemingly everyday things that are, in fact, anything but common, leading them to ask:
"What is far more rare than people realize?"
Or, Perhaps, The Vaccines Are What Made It Rare?
"Tetanus."
"We get vaccines for it, but it's actually a bit harder to get than you may believe."- pheat0n
Meow
"Solid brown fur cats, apparently it’s some kind of recessive gene in them."- TheJadedSF
"We have a male tortoiseshell cat."
"Cat people tend to know they’re quite rare but others probably don’t."- Tacoma__Crow
In Love Cat GIFGiphyYou Never Know Who Your Friends Really Are...
"People who remain friends with you once you leave school."- GrockleKaug
"Good, honest friends who don’t have ulterior motives."
"The ones that genuinely enjoy your company and friendship."
"Hold onto them!"- ZealousidealWealth88
Think Carefully About The Last Time You Saw One...
"Blimps."
"I live in northeast Ohio near the Goodyear hangar."
"We see them all the time."
"I had to pull up a list, that northeast Ohio has 3 out of 4 operating Goodyear blimps named Wingfoot 1 2 and 3."
"Only maybe 12 are operating anywhere in the world, with a total of 25 existing at all."
"But we see them all the time at Wingfoot lake disc golf course."- Worried_Place_917·
good year zeppelin GIF by DiggGiphyMaking Others Green With Envy?
"Green eyes make up just two percent of the global population."- New-Tomorrow-4309
Not A Routine Occurrence
"Northern lights."
"The amount of people I’ve heard say: 'We’ve come all this way, what time do they come on?' Is staggering."- The_Town_of_Canada
Amen!
"Bit of peace and f*cking quiet."- Winoforevr1
Taking A Long, Hard Look At Ourselves...
"Humility and an understanding that we’re sometimes the victim and sometimes the perpetrator."
"No one is ever just one or the other."- Fitandfriendlydude
Money Talks
"Being a multi-millionaire."
"Lots of people faking it out here."- tab_completion
Some Might Say Thinking In General...
"Critical thinking skills."- hstarbird11
Thinking Think GIF by Rodney DangerfieldGiphySobering Reality
"Clean water."
'My son and I have been discussing this lately."
"He is a chemical engineer and works exclusively with water."
"Many of the studies he has been published on also have to do with clean water and forever chemicals."
"Water is a huge issue that is becoming bigger everyday and normal people are forgetting about it."
"Flint Michigan is in year 9!"- No-Fishing5325
Rare, Or A Myth?
"A stable, loving, peaceful domestic life."- reginapinsley
In Dreams, Maybe...
"Absolute silence and being in a place where no man-made light exists."- whiskey_formymen
black and white dark GIFGiphyPerhaps we can all rest a little easier knowing that some things that keep us up at night worrying are actually not a big deal in the slightest.
Or, next time we see and experience something truly beautiful, we might want to stop and truly take it in.
For all we know, we just experienced something that was truly once in a lifetime.
Parents are meant to teach offspring how to survive in this world.
They're meant to guide us on how to be a good member of society.
But either some parents fail, or too many adults don't get the message.
And all that can lead to a mighty dysfunctional adult.
Redditor spirallinggg wanted to hear about the ways we can decipher if others have bad parenting, so they asked:
"What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?"
Basic human decency is a sign of a good upbringing.
Garbage
"They throw trash out a car window."
shershae
"I live on a busy road and I’m so sick of people throwing their trash in front of my house. Some guy tosses out a tall boy beer nearly every workday. I can’t wait to move. Also- so many cigarette butts! We live in a high fire hazard area so I’m worried one of these days they’ll start a fire. I try to go pick up litter twice a month."
Pinkmongoose
Random Aisles
"People who dump refrigerated grocery products on random aisles."
glockops
"I work in a grocery store. The best one I saw was someone who ordered a hot pizza from our pizza station, which is made-to-order. Then abandoned it in the cooler with the refrigerated take-and-bake pizzas we have."
"I get finding stuff from our service case abandoned, it's already cold and our prices are much higher than some people think (the last abandoned item I found was a $20 container of our fresh fruit salad [which comes in pre-cut]), but the pizza station has set menu prices, they should have known what they were getting into before they ordered."
weedtrek
Be Responsible
"Lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault."
Sona-kin
I always told my kids that a mistake doesn't define who you are... but what you do AFTER the mistake DOES. We're human. We're gonna screw up throughout our lives. It's unavoidable. What we can control, however, is choosing to apologize, fix the situation, make amends, etc."
nakedwithoutmyhoodie
Rude
Mean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy"When they talk badly about someone who hasn’t done anything wrong behind their back."
flowerzforthedead
THIS. I've seen coworkers talking behind the backs of new employees and drawing conclusions about every aspect of their lives. Like, you've seen that person for three days, you MF.
Cold-Load-4388
If you can't say it to their face, then don't say it.
Why do people have to crap talk?
Check Please
Escalate Customer Service GIF by FILMRISEGiphy"Being super rude to people in any service profession. There is a time and place for actual, appropriate complaints but I see people constantly abuse service staff for no damn reason. Hell, even using 'please' and 'thank you' seems beyond some people. Bums me out."
CaptainLawyerDude
Others
"Lack of consideration for others."
NewVAinvestor1
"A lot of people do not fundamentally understand other people exist. They understand things exist. They understand those things should be referred to as people. But they do not understand those things have an entire existence and experience all their own exactly like them."
Sh3lls
No!
"When they can't take no for an answer."
NerdyPlaneResident
"I'm going to step up and admit to being guilty of this. For the longest time, I had it in my head that persistence pays off. Some of that was pop culture, some of that was tenacity in other areas of my life being rewarded, and then applying that to interpersonal relationships. Older and wiser me, though is more along the lines of learning to let go. It's still a struggle though, working against that original conditioning."
SergeantPsycho
Professions
"When someone looks down at others based on what they do. That just clearly shows that they've learned the same thing from their caregivers."
Leekayleigh_
"Oh yes. My husband took on a second job doing pizza deliveries. A few people laughed at him doing that at his age. They don't laugh when he explains his main job is simple and, deliveries are just driving blasting tunes and adds $900 a month after tax to our income. Then they see all the travel. Usually shuts them up."
CurvePuzzleheaded361
Offensive
For Real Wow GIF by DeStormGiphy"Zero manners."'
Fuzzteam7
"I took a guy to a family beach condo because he says he never goes to the beach. Let him tag along with our group. Never said thank you one time. I dropped him back off at his house, and I said can you at least say thanks, he was so offended I asked or was trying to force a thank you."
berrey7
"BUT"
"When someone apologizes, and then adds a but onto it. For example, my boss held a meeting among the kitchen staff where he apologized for his attitude, and then added 'But you guys need to understand that I'm a no-bulls**t kind of person.' No sir, that's not how apologies work."
GimmickInfringement1
I hate a BUT.
Either you mean what you offer or don't say it.