D-I-V-O-R-C-E. The inevitable end for many a couple. Love is swift and often furious. It can overtake you in seconds. Your heart controls your mind and your lust controls your judgement. Next thing you know... BAM... wedding! Now a lot of times that scenario works out and after ups and downs and the usual rigmarole of life there can be a 'happily ever after.' And then sometimes love... burns down your house and life. Often the reasons for divorce are clear and valid and sometimes it's a head scratcher. Nobody knows this more than the people who facilitate the ending of the story.
Redditor u/KlyonneSpencer wanted to hear some juicy marital dramas by asking.... Divorce lawyers of reddit, what is the most ridiculous reason your client filed divorce for?
George? Is that you?
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I had a client file for divorce because every morning his wife would ask him how he takes his coffee... for seven years. BlankSmitty
I love this. It's straight out of Seinfeld. baddoggg
It's the little things....
He didn't help her put up a shower curtain. It may have been a straw that broke the camel's back situation though.
I feel her pain!
My boss just got divorced. His wife was telling people one of her reasons was the amount of toilet paper he used. She was a super coupon clipper thrifty lady and would listen when he went to the bathroom to see if he was using "too much tp!" dizzylyingdown
Sounds like he isn't getting a divorce, he's being released from Hell. The-Inglewood-Jack
Avatar romance?
Lawyer here. One of mine that sticks out is that the husband and wife both played some sort of on-line role-playing game, sort of like the Sims I think but a little more elaborate and adult ('Second Life' maybe?). I don't know anything about online games.
The wife got heavily involved with the game, like 10 hours a day, and wouldn't reduce her time playing no matter what he said. What tipped things over the edge however was that he set up a fake profile/ avatar and went online to stalk her in the game and found her avatar having sex with some random guy's avatar.
Nothing ever happened in real life (neither of them were exactly oil paintings to look at) but that was enough for the guy to initiate a fairy acrimonious divorce. thefilthytwo
Some people shouldn't be allowed amongst the rest of us....
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Hopefully soon-to-be-former Divorce attorney, I've seen tons of crazy reasons for people to get divorced. Some of them stupid, some of them make perfect sense. I had one person get divorced because her husband wouldn't take her out to the movies anymore. I had one client who looked through her husbands phone and found out he was hiring male escorts while he was on business trips. One female client got a divorce because she hated sex with her husband. Her last relationship before she got married was pretty intense and I guess her husband just didn't match up.
I've had a few clients who were teachers get divorced because their spouses found out they were having relationships with students. All of the teachers were female. One divorce involved an elderly couple who had both recently been widowed. They had both been married to their individual spouses for over 40 years. They married each other out of loneliness. About two years into the marriage, they realized they made a huge mistake. They couldn't stand each other. It was weird seeing eighty year olds complaining about the same thing you see kids arguing about. eljefe1676
I need a drink.... I should be specific....
Not a divorce lawyer, but have done marriage therapy. Had a soldier stationed at Guantanamo Bay that met a local. Fell madly in love. They decided to get married so she could come with him back in the states once his tour was done.
She was working on American dishes, and was making spaghetti. He comes home from work one day, and she's making it. She puts the meat in, puts the canned sauce in, and then pulls an unlabeled bag out of the freezer and adds it to the sauce.
At this point in the session she's hysterically crying with broken spanglish. She's trying to explain she didn't know any better. Through the hysteria he informs me her mother and grandmother told her if she wanted to keep her man, she needed to put her menstrual blood in his food. It was so hard to keep my composure. I was trying to hard not to gag.
They both described they were madly in love, but he couldn't let it go. They ended up getting a divorce. Having done this for 14 years, I have found it 100% accurate that truth is stranger than fiction. Palatron
Is there an end coming?
My dad split my mom because "she takes too long to tell a story." He was actually having affair #4795809374 and that came out shortly after. But this was one of the main reasons he gave when they did a counseling session together. sixtiesqueeen
Man's Best Cuddler....
Not me but my friend who specializes in family law. Wife wanted to divorce husband because he kept taking their dogs for walks while she was at work, making it (unintentionally) so they'd rather cuddle the husband instead of her after a long day. WutWutWutTF
Better off Alone....
Divorce lawyer here. One client filed for divorce because he owed his bookie $70,000. He didn't want to leave his wife but he figured he would get half the house in the divorce, which was worth $700,000 and pay his debts. He had already blew through their life savings gambling. He was the worst guy. RavenHairBeauty
Should've called Madame Cleo....
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Easy.
She spent $42,000 on psychic hotlines. Notable, she then wouldn't accept any of our offers, and I continuously asked her lawyer to provide counter-offers... shouldn't her psychic have told her how the case would turn out?!? Lol. jdoc1121
Calling Dateline....
Wife was having an affair and husband killed the boyfriend. Life in prison for premeditated murder. Then they got divorced. SandmanD2
I always kind of wonder why people are more upset with the random person than their SO. They could easily be lying and saying they're single. Your SO knows what they're doing! Axilllla
Lawyers as pawns....
Not a lawyer, but did spend six months costing Legal Aid cases for solicitors in the early 90's. This included many divorces. The most notable one was a woman divorcing her husband because he discovered he could talk to the dead on their honeymoon and then later spent all their money on spiritualist groups.
That wasn't what made it notable. During the divorce, the woman left the house. At some point her husband approached her and claimed that as he was letting the house fall into ruin, it would be better for both of them if he sold the house and split the proceeds with her. She agreed to this without consulting her solicitor.
A few weeks later the husband gave her £5. She asked what it was for. It was her share of the house. He'd sold it to his sister for £10 and kept living there. When she went to complain to her solicitors, she found they'd done the conveyancing for him. He'd deliberately used his wife's divorce solicitors and nobody at the firm had realized. not_the_artist
Poophead!
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I guess I'm a late to this one. It was my associate's case, but he had a couple in his office arguing about all the things they disliked about each other. All the sudden the husband started screaming at the wife about leaving poop stains in the toilet. It was the reason, but it was hilarious. joeredspecial
Second times the charm...
My parents. Turns out remarrying each other wasn't such a great idea and they enjoyed their first divorce so much they wanted to do it again. darkmeowl25
I'll rub you out!
My Dad has been married several times (more than 4). His last wife asked him to rub her feet and he said no. She told him to get the hell out. He was super excited and said ok bye, you will hear from my attorney.
Obviously that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Makes me laugh every time someone ask why did they split up?!! No feet rub for you!! conniedew
God is watching!
Not really what you are asking... but! My sister's old friend had a big wedding and about a month later she accidentally butt-dialed her husband while she was out to dinner with the dude she's been sleeping with. Seemed like an act of God. Ziiner
There is ALWAYS an age limit!
I heard of a woman that had her marriage annulled because the groom insisted to bring his mother on their honeymoon. Then, on the honeymoon the bride discovered the reason he wanted to bring his mother was to breastfeed him. Yes, the groom, a grown man, was still breastfeeding. OMGisCarolein
Happy Methversary!
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Client said her husband was dealing meth... well technically "cooking" meth. NotYourAverageScot
Til Meth do us part. purpledad
I know someone that married a woman because she was a "good" meth cook. I figured she would be a chemist, a lab assistant, or something, nope, high school drop out.
When she visited, my extended family was on strict orders to not mention I'm a chemical engineer. She stopped visiting because they got divorced after the cook she was doing went bad and she was severely burned, the male relative got clean and remarried. John_McFly
30 day Guarantee....
A lawyer I know had a client who filed for divorce because his wife was getting married in a month. GoogleBot42
Oh that would be my husband's ex-wife. He didn't know she was already married. She confessed after the wedding that this was her second marriage and she was nervous the divorce papers weren't going to arrive before their wedding, but they did. -Dee-Dee-
Some people can't play with others....
Two stories:
Wife wanted to divorce her husband on their wedding day because he fought with her father over the bill.
Another was a woman who divorced her husband of a week because she's been in love with someone else for several months and found out the other guy loved her too. They're married and have a kid together now. Reddit
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"
These Redditors needed some "me time."
Dad Time
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
– thecountnotthesaint
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
– SuvenPan
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
– Blue_OG_46
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
– hottytoddy_sko
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
– batchofbetterbutter
Some people need to get out of the house.
Self Therapy
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
– Humble-Plankton2217
Solo Slice
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
– sohumsahm
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
– foh242
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
Smooch Ploy
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
– str8outofabook
Catching Zzzs
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
– ricdesi
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
– he-whoeatsbugs
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
– Dewahll
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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That's starting to get old.
"I bet you use that line a lot."- michaelochurch.
Right back atcha!
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"
"I AM!"- itskavia.
Who Am I GIFYou tell me.
"No, who do you think you are?"- Random_puns.
I'll have to ask someone else.
“'Hey Brian, I’ve got a guy here who doesn’t know who he is!'"
"'Do you know who he might be?'”- llovejoy1234.
customer service call center GIFGiphyI'll take a guess
"Ronnie Pickering."- Shadow_0852.
I'm getting a sense...
"I know who you think you are."- automoth.
I'll help you figure it out.
"My husband was working in construction."
"A guy came onto the job site giving the workers a hard time about something or other."
"When he started yelling at my husband for whatever, my husband basically ignored him."
"The guy goes, 'do you know who I am?'”
"My husband yelled across the site to his foreman, 'Joe! Call an ambulance, this guy doesn’t know who he is!'”- Littlepaintbrush0814.
Gotcha!
"Yes, and I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."- ShadyMyLady.
Rightfully put in their place.
"There is the old joke about the British Prime Minister eating out during the war time and asking for extra butter with his bread, the waiter refused to which the PM, rather annoyed, asked "'do you know who I am?'"
"To which the waiter replied, 'yes, I do, but rather importantly you have forgot who I am, I am the man who responsible for the rations of the butter'."- ScholarImpossible121
GiphyOf course, when people do dare to ask "do you know who I am", they never realize that the people they ask this immediately discover the answer.
Which is someone absolutely no one wants to be around.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
But if there's one thing cinephiles roll their eyes at while watching a movie, it's the predictable plot twist or a typical scenario often depicted in films that lack imagination.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor cnukles1 asked:
"What's a movie trope you are sick and tired of?"
Hollywood tends to glorify and dramatize violence almost comically.
Brief Inconvenience
"When someone is stabbed/shot, limps around in pain for 30 seconds, then continues on as if nothing happened."
– FioreFalinesti
Instant Death
"On the flipside, it drives me nuts when bad guys get shot in the torso and drop dead immediately. They'd realistically have at least a few seconds if not minutes of consciousness."
– itguy1991
Smooth Recovery
"People being knocked out for hours and no brain damage."
– TankApprehensive3571
That doesn't happen in real life.
Atypical Casting
"The broke 'Single Mom' who looks like she could model for Victoria's Secret. On the flip side, male gangsters, drug dealers or prisoners who look like they could win a state bodybuilding championship."
– Johhnymaddog316
Unnecessary Extravagance
"Or same broke single mom with an awesome house and perfect clothes/hair. Can't they ever just dress like normal people and living in normal homes?"
– Expensive_Structure2
Disarming Explosives
"Bombs with helpful color-coded wires."
– SuvenPan
Inconvenient Birth
"There's a pregnant woman and she goes into labor right at the worst possible time. For drama of course."
– RogueKatt
When actions depicted on the screen are not plausible.
The Struggle Is Real
"Just once I'd like to see somebody struggle to find parking in Los Angeles."
– stupidlyugly
The Structure Of Romance
"You're a jerk and I have no interest in you despite the fact that you are incredibly handsome, charming, and funny. We have to work together to save the world but make no mistake about it, I can't stand you. Let's just get this over with so I never have to see you again."
"Whoops, we f'ked. I guess we're in love now."
– DickySchmidt33
Love Connections
"Every disaster movie, the love interest always works at a hospital."
– Terrible-Ad-4879
Let's Communicate Better
"When a simple conversation could have entirely solved the central conflict of the movie."
– Katarassein
If everything happened on screen the way it does in real life, would it diminish your moviegoing experience?
Some people just like watching characters make believable choices. But if that's the case, you may as well go outside and film your own movie.
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