We don't always see the bigger picture as kids. A lot of the times, stuff we accept as normal can actually be viewed as really creepy and terrifying when we get older (looking at YOU "Dinosaurs" series finale where the whole planet dies!). Other times, though, what we didn't see as kids can be something sinister and might break us as adults.

Reddit user, u/Ducknana, wanted to know what haunting us when they asked (TRIGGER WARNING: Some of these tales are brutal in their honesty):

What is a f***ed up memory you have from your childhood that you didn't realize was f***ed up until you grew older?

I was a member at some country club where we all played tennis as kids. I was like 6 or 7 at the time this happened, but one of my friends needed to go to the bathroom. I was assigned to go with him so nobody would get lost or something.

As we were walking down, some dude just runs up and grabs my friend and starts forcefully carrying him down the hallway. He covered his mouth but my friend bit him or something and started screaming. The guy just drops him and runs off. At the time we thought nothing of it really and just kept walking to the bathroom. All the coaches were pretty f***ing freaked out when we mentioned it so they searched the building.

midgetmonkey383

Found a condom on the school ground. I thought it was a balloon. Brought it home, blew it up and played with it. Until my mom came home, and with a look of horror, asked where I got it. When I told her, she screamed at me to throw it away... I was so mad at her, because she wouldn't tell me the reason.

Nope, still can't laugh about it...

tinkrman

I was so poor as a kid we celebrated all birthdays on the same 1 day per year, and it was the best present ever: pop ice Popsicles.

I loved birth-day...yes, I thought birthday was a family thing, not every individual person...

clem82

My mother took me and a friend of hers to a farm out in the middle of nowhere. She told me I can look at the chickens while she was inside the house with her friend and some guy that lived there.

Of course me being a little kid and mischievous I decided to walk along the house and look in the windows. In one I see my mom sitting on a couch watching tv. The next window is a the bedroom and I see her friend half naked with the guy. I don't think to much of it and just keep walking along the house. Few years later I realized my mother was a "madam" and her friends were really just sex workers.

Jojo1206515

So I'm adopted. I'm black, my parents are white.

One day, when I was like 8 or 9 I was watching some old animated Lord of the Rings movie. The orcs were singing a song that went "Wherever there's a whip, there's a way". Well later that day, while doing chores, I was singing that part over and over. My mom, horrified, came and asked where I heard it and told me to never sing it again.

Couldn't understand why until I was older and realized how bad it would probably look.

ChiCBHB

One day mum was in the garage reving the car for ages filling it with fumes, I came in and asked her what she was doing.

I now realise she was trying to end it.

Bucket-Bong

I was once casually telling a friend that once I was locked in my room with a bucket and no food or drink for two days to a friend and laughed at how gross it was.

His face went pale as he said "that's the most f***ed up punishment I've ever heard". It was then I realized how awful my childhood was.

slevylikeagirl

I remember my 16 year old sister crying as she banged on the back door, begging me to let her inside, but I was 5 years old and afraid that if I did, mom would be mad at me instead.

Other times my mom would lock my dad out for things like coming home too late or looking at the neighbor lady too suggestively. Another time my sister stepped in between me and my mom, e while screaming, "She's just a kid!!" I thought this kind of drama (and unending guilt over being too afraid to help) was normal until I grew up. I'm still working on it, but I haven't seen my mom in person for 7 months now. I just don't have it in me right now to deal with her crap.

rabidhamster87

When I was a kid, my family had an all white cat that I loved... And his name was Coke.

At the time, I thought he was named after Coca-Cola. It wasn't until later in life I realized my favorite cat was named after a white substance.

michonne_impossible

My father was an alcoholic.

But I did not know this so I could not figure out why he was nice sometimes and cruel at others. I did not know why he would laugh at something I did one day and beat me for it the next. Or why he would hurt me by demonstrating army holds on me and not stop when I cried because he thought we were having fun. So many things like that happened before I finally realized he was drunk.

iggycat

When I was in preschool this girl in my class would always bring up disturbing events happening at home. I remember one time specifically when we ate lunch one day she casually completely out of the blue said "oh by the way, yesterday my dad slammed my mom into a wall". Throughout the whole year she told similar stories and I always forgot about it when we moved on to something else. It wasn't until a few years ago that it all came back to me and I was shocked that a poor 6 year old girl had to see this with her own eyes.

Ducknana

I was just starting my freshman year of high school, so I was 14. I can't remember why, I think marching band, but I was at the High School around dusk one night. I realized that my parents forgot about me, and everyone else had left and locked up the school. This was 15 years ago, so I didn't have a cell phone. My school was only a few miles from home in a nice suburban town, so I decided to walk home.

Partway home a guy in a pick up truck pulls along the road and yells out the window asking for directions to the mall. I didn't think anything of it, and told him. He then asked me if I could get in and navigate him there since he still wasn't sure. I was tired and wanted to berate my parents, so I said no and kept walking. It was only a few years ago that I realized he very likely didn't want navigational assistance.

And to be clear, I wasn't 14 looking 18. At 29 I get mistaken for 22, and at 25 I was mistaken for 16. Between my face and the way I dressed, I probably looked 11 or so.

I was super lucky that he didn't follow me, since soon after where he pulled over the shops and house grew really sparse, and it was getting dark. Thankfully my friend's mom saw me walking and picked me up a few minutes later too.

Still creeps me out to think that if I had been less mad or tired I may have gone with. I was very naive.

ICantWink

My mom would get mad and slam her head on the wall.

I thought that was a reasonable way to deal with frustration, until I tried it myself and it really hurt (go figure). So I stopped doing that, but would punch walls fairly regularly hard enough to break a bone or put holes clean through the wall.

stop_being_ugly

I would constantly electrocute myself. Mainly 110 volts and see how long I could take the pain. I thought I was some kind of superhero. Loved the comics as a kid.

Had to add this: THIS IS DANGEROUS. YOU CAN DIE. I was lucky. Chances are you will not be!

Truthhasversions

Me and my family went to a retreat that was supposed to be of jesus or whatever. You know, the type where they sing and have you clap and stuff. And at the very end, "Jesus himself" comes out in a golden chalice thing and he "heals" people. Well during that ceremony, a mentally disabled woman started screaming loudly. I think she may have been scared as everyone was crying and screaming as well. But the priest went up to her and started screaming,"go away devil! Leave this woman alone! Leave!" What do you know the disabled woman didn't stop. So they had her removed from the room.

Needless to say, that was f***ed up.

Lil_Rio

My mom caught my dad cheating with a woman from an online gaming forum some time in the very early 2000s. They were sending each other vulgar messages. She read the messages out loud when she found them. I was about 6 at the time. I didn't realize what any of those words mean until about 10 years later when it just clicked. Eugh.

The part my 6-yr-old brain was most upset about was that his forum profile pic was from a family photo on the beach, but he cropped all of us out. Why didn't daddy want me in the picture? :(

smittywrbermanjensen

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