There's a reason why people keep their reddit accounts a secret. There are a zillion very different, very specific subreddits out there, and the discovery of certain interests can be very embarrassing. So what happens when they're found?
PM_Me_YourTinyBoobs: People who have found their friends "secret" Reddit accounts, what was the most shocking thing you found out about them?
Creepy.
"I read a story on AskReddit once that seemed really familiar, and noticed the username was the same handle my friend's husband had used for years all across the internet.
I went looking through his history and found out my friend had serious psychiatric disorders, was a pathological liar, had emotionally abused him all throughout their relationship, and had turned to physical abuse after getting married, eventually cheated, and they'd divorced. I was absolutely shocked, since although I didn't see her regularly (we lived states apart) we kept in contact over social media, and I'd had absolutely no hint of this whatsoever.
I went back through her various SMs and at first things didn't make any sense since she was still tagging the husband, and things seemed to be fine. A bit more digging and I realized she had basically nuked her account, the account she was tagging was a fake account (so it wasn't actually her husband, it was just an account with the same name and profile picture), and she was pretending they were still together. It seemed like she would log into both accounts and reply to posts as her "husband".
The next time she started chatting with me I asked about the husband, seeing if she would open up, but she pretended they were still together and that he had said hi to me etc. It was really creepy knowing the truth and just seeing all these lies about what they were doing together."
That's always depressing.
Giphy
"Found a family member's account and was unpleasantly surprised by how many disparaging comments there were about me and my family."
At least it was validating.
"I had felt for a while that my girlfriend's family didn't like me, but whenever I said anything to her about it, she insisted I was wrong and just imagining it. Then I found her brother's Reddit profile (he and I are fans of the same baseball team and in a post on that team's sub I saw a post that sounded just like him, clicked on the username and it was definitely him, lots of identifying details).
So I start scrolling through, and sure enough he has posted several times things like, "My family and I hate my sister's boyfriend." It hurt my feelings, and I also felt like my girlfriend kinda gaslit me by insisting I was wrong, but I will say one thing made me feel better: He did a post on Am I The A**hole about whether he's an ahole for not wanting to invite me to family stuff and basically everyone said he's the asshole because his reasons for not liking me are really shallow and stupid."
A sad find.
"I had a fairly new coworker that moved back home to care for his sick mom. A couple months later he asked management if he could come back and they said yes. He must have been having trouble coping with something, because he disappeared sometime in the afternoon on his first day back.
A day or two after he disappeared a post was made on a local subreddit that was obviously him based on what I knew about him. He was just asking if anyone wanted to hang out because he didn't have many friends. I got really worried and asked him if everything was ok. He never responded and deleted his reddit account shortly after.
Anyway, he was really into weed and programming. We could have been really good friends."
A wholesome one.
Giphy
"Found my wife's account. It wasn't a "secret" account per se, but then again I didn't know she even had an account to begin with.
Turns out she's a really nice person who posts positive and uplifting things to people who usually need to hear it. 10/10 would marry again."
Keeping the memory alive.
"This is a bit different but my friend from when I was doing roller derby found me on here. We chatted, nothing too surprising for either of us in our posts except I'm bipolar which she didn't know.
The hardest thing is she died three weeks ago. I keep going to her account here and her last messages to me as it makes me feel better to know she's 'still on reddit' in a weird way.
She had epilepsy and died suddenly in her sleep before her 33rd birthday so it was very unexpected and sad."
Still looking out for each other.
"On another account I deleted, my ex and I were posting about our break up and had no clue that we were inadvertently commenting on each other's post.
Fast forward a few weeks and I posted about committing suicide and as I'm walking to my car I am stopped by police and they tell me that they had a call about me wanting to harm myself and even told me how I'd do it (something only reddit knew when I posted it) long story short, I am sketched the heck out and notice I have a follower reddit.
I went back to see anyone I've been talking to and that user was the only one, then I went and snooped through her history and I knew in my gut who it was.
It was very strange but I am so very thankful. We no longer speak anymore and she hates me but she honestly saved my life that night. I would've died had I not been stopped by authorities. If you are reading this, thank you."
Another wholesome story.
Giphy
"I had secret reddit accounts disguised as different people to send messages of support to a friend who I found out wanted to commit suicide a long time ago and was crying for help on reddit.
His smiles have been genuine since then and he has been more open to people."
RUN.
"He was my friend (I thought), turns out he made a whole incel-inspired post about how I was an "idiot slut" who wouldn't sleep with him.
It sounded so similar I was pretty sure it was him, a couple of clicks throughout his profile and it was 100% him. Not friends anymore."
Turns out, he's just boring.
"I was crushed to discover many of his funny anecdotes were stories from reddit and 4chan he stole and said happened in his own life.
He commented on most of them asking details and really strange comments, it was pretty sad."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...
Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
Those Days...
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!
queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
"And Marilyn Monroe and Andy Griffith were born on the same day!"
- osme1
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV Time
Season 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
- VVillyD
A Croc
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Story
william shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.
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