There's a reason why people keep their reddit accounts a secret. There are a zillion very different, very specific subreddits out there, and the discovery of certain interests can be very embarrassing. So what happens when they're found?
PM_Me_YourTinyBoobs: People who have found their friends "secret" Reddit accounts, what was the most shocking thing you found out about them?
Creepy.
"I read a story on AskReddit once that seemed really familiar, and noticed the username was the same handle my friend's husband had used for years all across the internet.
I went looking through his history and found out my friend had serious psychiatric disorders, was a pathological liar, had emotionally abused him all throughout their relationship, and had turned to physical abuse after getting married, eventually cheated, and they'd divorced. I was absolutely shocked, since although I didn't see her regularly (we lived states apart) we kept in contact over social media, and I'd had absolutely no hint of this whatsoever.
I went back through her various SMs and at first things didn't make any sense since she was still tagging the husband, and things seemed to be fine. A bit more digging and I realized she had basically nuked her account, the account she was tagging was a fake account (so it wasn't actually her husband, it was just an account with the same name and profile picture), and she was pretending they were still together. It seemed like she would log into both accounts and reply to posts as her "husband".
The next time she started chatting with me I asked about the husband, seeing if she would open up, but she pretended they were still together and that he had said hi to me etc. It was really creepy knowing the truth and just seeing all these lies about what they were doing together."
That's always depressing.
Giphy
"Found a family member's account and was unpleasantly surprised by how many disparaging comments there were about me and my family."
At least it was validating.
"I had felt for a while that my girlfriend's family didn't like me, but whenever I said anything to her about it, she insisted I was wrong and just imagining it. Then I found her brother's Reddit profile (he and I are fans of the same baseball team and in a post on that team's sub I saw a post that sounded just like him, clicked on the username and it was definitely him, lots of identifying details).
So I start scrolling through, and sure enough he has posted several times things like, "My family and I hate my sister's boyfriend." It hurt my feelings, and I also felt like my girlfriend kinda gaslit me by insisting I was wrong, but I will say one thing made me feel better: He did a post on Am I The A**hole about whether he's an ahole for not wanting to invite me to family stuff and basically everyone said he's the asshole because his reasons for not liking me are really shallow and stupid."
A sad find.
"I had a fairly new coworker that moved back home to care for his sick mom. A couple months later he asked management if he could come back and they said yes. He must have been having trouble coping with something, because he disappeared sometime in the afternoon on his first day back.
A day or two after he disappeared a post was made on a local subreddit that was obviously him based on what I knew about him. He was just asking if anyone wanted to hang out because he didn't have many friends. I got really worried and asked him if everything was ok. He never responded and deleted his reddit account shortly after.
Anyway, he was really into weed and programming. We could have been really good friends."
A wholesome one.
Giphy
"Found my wife's account. It wasn't a "secret" account per se, but then again I didn't know she even had an account to begin with.
Turns out she's a really nice person who posts positive and uplifting things to people who usually need to hear it. 10/10 would marry again."
Keeping the memory alive.
"This is a bit different but my friend from when I was doing roller derby found me on here. We chatted, nothing too surprising for either of us in our posts except I'm bipolar which she didn't know.
The hardest thing is she died three weeks ago. I keep going to her account here and her last messages to me as it makes me feel better to know she's 'still on reddit' in a weird way.
She had epilepsy and died suddenly in her sleep before her 33rd birthday so it was very unexpected and sad."
Still looking out for each other.
"On another account I deleted, my ex and I were posting about our break up and had no clue that we were inadvertently commenting on each other's post.
Fast forward a few weeks and I posted about committing suicide and as I'm walking to my car I am stopped by police and they tell me that they had a call about me wanting to harm myself and even told me how I'd do it (something only reddit knew when I posted it) long story short, I am sketched the heck out and notice I have a follower reddit.
I went back to see anyone I've been talking to and that user was the only one, then I went and snooped through her history and I knew in my gut who it was.
It was very strange but I am so very thankful. We no longer speak anymore and she hates me but she honestly saved my life that night. I would've died had I not been stopped by authorities. If you are reading this, thank you."
Another wholesome story.
Giphy
"I had secret reddit accounts disguised as different people to send messages of support to a friend who I found out wanted to commit suicide a long time ago and was crying for help on reddit.
His smiles have been genuine since then and he has been more open to people."
RUN.
"He was my friend (I thought), turns out he made a whole incel-inspired post about how I was an "idiot slut" who wouldn't sleep with him.
It sounded so similar I was pretty sure it was him, a couple of clicks throughout his profile and it was 100% him. Not friends anymore."
Turns out, he's just boring.
"I was crushed to discover many of his funny anecdotes were stories from reddit and 4chan he stole and said happened in his own life.
He commented on most of them asking details and really strange comments, it was pretty sad."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
What's the biggest excuse used for a-hole behavior that shouldn't be accepted as much as it is?
... and away we go.
Jerk Privileges
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humor
season 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"Schrödinger's Douchebag"
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!
Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was that guy. I swore I was a 'happy drunk' - and I was. It was everyone ELSE who was miserable while I was happy."
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"
new girl coach GIFGiphy" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting Problems
Leave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your Boss
The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day Again
Bad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An Excuse
Season 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna Florida
Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.