People Disclose The Secrets They Aren't Ready To Tell Their Family Yet
No. Not yet.
Who you are is enough. What you are capable of is beyond sufficient. You matter and there is no need to be ashamed. If anything comes from reading this piece, let it be the realization that none of us are alone. Even in this time of turmoil, isolation and frightening uncertainty; there are others feeling similar things, and there are people who want to listen. We all hide pieces of ourselves and exposing those pieces to loved ones can be a daunting, harrowing ordeal. But you can do it. You should it. When you're ready. Until then.... we're here.Redditor u/shunyatleung wanted to know who had some truth they needed to unburden, maybe the audience can work as a test run. They wondered..... What is a secret that you don't mind telling to 29 million anonymous people but not to people you know?
Phony.jim carrey truth GIFGiphy
I lie to a point that i create memories to the point where it gets hard to know if they were false or not. Sometimes I can call myself out on my own lies and I can remember it, other times i have my siblings or parents call me out because of it never happening. No one else besides them knows that i am lying and i usually tell people that i am a chronic liar. The worst part is when people bring it up and i remember it as a memory only to argue with a person who knows it as a lie
I want to give up.
I have written a book, and I sent query letters and sample chapters to over 100 literary agents in 2019, but none of them were interested. To my friends and family, I'm staying optimistic, and talking about sending it out to 100 more. But in reality, I'm completely discouraged, and even thought I do have a list of agents I haven't tried yet, I can't bring myself to try anymore. I mean, one hundred freakin' agents?
Ugh. That's my secret: I want to give up. I can't drag myself into the line of fire anymore.
'forget it' attitude....
The two years I spent as a semi-professional BDSM Dom. I plan to keep this from my family and take this to my grave. Right time, right place for me. I wasn't actively looking, but I was fresh out of my first marriage, having been cheated on and replaced by a teenager. I was pretty pissed, a bit jaded and oozed a level of apathy that could be mistaken for a level of aloofness.
I guess the 'forget it' attitude, realization of a newly found freedom and the confidence that comes from it (plus being in great shape and aesthetically pleasing) got me noticed by someone. That someone just happened to have been a part of the industry there and thought the madam should meet me.
After that, two years of fun.
Even though I go to therapy and I say I'm doing fine, I'm really struggling more.
As a clinical psychologist, I can tell you that feeling you are struggling more can be related to actually addressing your issues, this happens a lot, its not easy to face your shadows, and when you do, it can feel quite overwhelming, idk if you already do, but don't keep the "I'm doing fine" mask with your therapist, and if you feel like you need to, or don't feel the freedom to open completely, maybe you should try another therapist/method. I wish you the very best!
Sometimes I seriously contemplate just leaving. I would never do it, I have a wonderful family, a beautiful home, I'm spoiled beyond belief by my husband but sometimes I feel like I'm choking on my life.
This. I shouldn't complain, really. I do love my wife. She is gorgeous, fit, strong work ethic. I have two teenage kids who outside of the normal teenage rebellion are good kids. Live in a good neighborhood.
Still feels like I am putting on a mask everyday. And not the kind I'm supposed to.
How do I do it?
By the end of high school, everyone liked me. At work everyone likes me. How do I do it? I am terrified of what people think of me so I put on a smile and don't say anything bad, which is also why I haven't cried in over 10 years. I have never gotten into a fight or gotten drunk because Im afraid I will lose control and severely injure someone.
I never get angry for the same reason that I don't wanna be judged. I don't form close relationships easily because I'm afraid of what will happen if they fall apart. Finally there's a good chance I will never get married and have kids because of what me and my siblings went through when my parents separated.
I have an eating disorder. I've never been diagnosed but I've been struggling for 25 years. I was doing ok for the past 2ish but Covid caused me to snap and now I went back to not eating and excessive exercise. I've lost more weight in the last four weeks than i gained in the last 2 years. i finally told my husband about it on Monday, but no one else (family/friends/coworkers) know.
I hate being a father.
I know, I know, it's a horrible thing to say but I hate it. Being a father wasn't something I jumped into or was a mistake. I wasn't pressured into it or received an ultimatum to have kids. It was planned between my fiancé and I and it was what I thought I wanted, for years. I've always dreamt of having a family, I watched my own family fall apart when I was young and always knew that was what I wanted or what I thought I wanted.
Now two kids later, I can't help but think that I made a mistake. I love my kids, I treat them well and I'm constantly told how great of a father I am. But I hate being a father. I miss the time had to myself, I miss only having to take myself into consideration. I've realized since having kids that I'm an incredible selfish person at heart and hate having my time be disrupted.
Despite all of that, I'd never leave or abandon my children. I love them and their mother dearly. The smile my youngest gives me when I walk in the door makes me very happy. But I can't help feeling regret, like I'm missing out on things I want to do.
I actually have told my fiancé about this and despite my fear, she's been supportive and is helping me through these feelings. A friend, who is a therapist, said that I'm going through a male version of Post Partum since these feelings started about 2 months ago when my youngest turned 4 months old and my oldest turned 2 years old. None of my other friends or family know about this and never will.
I hope I can work through these feelings. I'm afraid that my boys will think that I don't want them or that I don't love them because of these feelings. This is probably the most conflicted, convoluted emotion I've ever felt. It's irrational and illogical and is throwing me off because I've always been a logical and rational person.
The reason why I'm not going to enter to a very stressful career, I'm taking a better care of myself and trying to get a job it's because I wanna donate my sister a kidney and get money for her meds, but she would hate if I did that and that's why she can't know.
ByeeeeeSassy Beyonce GIFGiphy
Once I get a stable job and move out, I plan on cutting my family off since they're just too toxic. I also plan on getting a protection order against my brother.
I am broken from my mom's abuse of me. People who know me in real life say I'm the nicest person they've ever met. I fall over backwards to be nice to everyone. But I really don't like most people I meet. I think a lot of people are A-holes or idiots.
I'm Packingcarry on luggage GIF by HULUGiphy
I may give up one of my nationalities/citizenships because I do not want to be linked to that place at all.
I once had a very minor car accident (it wasn't even an accident, I just hit someone's external rearview mirror with mine) and I was coerced into giving up the cash then and there rather than go through the proper procedures of alarming the insurance policy and all that stuff. I will never know if I gave up more than due (apparently the dude had the father working in mechanics and called him to ask for the price of the rearview mirror) or I was half-scammed (half because it was my fault after all) and I simply decided it was a bad dream and that it never, ever happened.
That I'm suicidal.
Edit: I didn't expect this to blow up. Thank you for the people trying to help me with this. I'll try to get in touch with another psych soon and try to inquire how i can get subsidized meds. Ive been in therapy for my ptsd for a almost a year before Covid and i also have bipolar disorder, MDD and MAD but i had to fly home due to the pandemic. My home is in another island and is far from any government hospitals.
Appointment here on my country for private hospitals already costs me 3 to 5 days of my salary which i am having a hard time to sustain same with my medications since they cost 8 times for non subsidized pharmacy. Its hard, especially in my country, treatments for mental illnesses are commonly seen are seen as a luxury given they are very expensive. But I'll try my best to hang on. Maybe soon once this pandemic is over, ill be able to go back for therapy. Thank you everyone.
I'm so tired.
The only reason why I haven't straight up killed myself yet is I don't want other people in my life to be sad. I know many other people have it worse as well, so who am I to be so down? I'll just fill up my schedule and put on a mask. I don't want to be a burden. But... yeah... I haven't been living because I genuinely want to for a very long time. I'm so tired.
Humans OutDuck Reaction GIFGiphy
A couple years ago, I used to be the most optimistic person you would ever meet.
Now I'm a nihilist that believes humanity was a mistake.
i was ready
I wish my sister had been unsuccessful at breaking in to where I was laying, hours away from death. Every single day the only thing I can remember with certainty (have amnesia from the brain damage) is that I was ready to die and was only upset that it was a shit way to go, I hadn't said my goodbyes, etc.
It wasn't even suicide. I was just sick. It would've been fine.
"well.... I'm bi..."
I am pretty sure I am bisexual even though I never had a sexual experience with an other man.
You don't have to act on anything if you don't want to. I met a greek dude last year who was bicurious and we had fun, but the best moment was right after when he rolled over and stared directly into my soul and went "well.... I'm bi..." and started laughing.
I struggle with depression and it sucks. Sometimes I struggle to get out of bed. Other days I struggle to get dressed. When you see me in public (which is rarer and rarer these days) you don't see the real me. You see a fake persona.
Same. It's not fake for me but there is a much deeper me at certain times of my night that I'm completely different from who everyone thought I was.
Sorry PopSad Pikachu GIFGiphy
I might possibly have the opportunity to put my dad away in prison for felonies, but I can't bring myself to do it. He deserves to be in prison, but I'm not ready for all the kick back I would get from doing so.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resource
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One would think we're in a place in time where all conversations should be easy.
But that is not the case.
So much is still too "taboo" to be truthful about.
It is so frustrating.
There is so much to discuss.
Being shy is understandable, but it's something that we can all get over.
Redditor No_One_Special34 wanted to breakdown some barriers with a few simple conversations, so they asked:
"What is a taboo subject that should be talked about more?"
"Child/infant death. When my daughter died a bunch of people just... stopped talking to me altogether."
"I'm sorry to hear about your child."
"A 7-year-old was hit by a truck last week near my son's kg. I've never met the boy but I have had nightmares about it. I can't imagine what the parents are going thru right now. I can't imagine what you are going through."
"This happened to my mom when my brother died. Nobody knew what to say so few people said anything, and then it was treated like it didn’t happen."
The Aging Process
"We are a disgustingly ageist society. No wonder people pay BILLIONS for plastic surgery, hair color, and fitness, etc to stay relevant and not be thought of as useless or 'other.' It’s so very hateful. I think our society fears old age and death. It’s a f**king pathos."
"THANK YOU! I'm a 20-year paramedic. One of the things that I really hoped COVID would shed a light on is the absolutely abhorrent treatment of our elderly and infirmed. The 'treatment' in far too many nursing homes is negligent to a criminal level."
"Household budgets and finance - how much your parents make, how much is the mortgage, car insurance, car payment, and so on."
"That's easy. House, two cars, three kids, stay-at-home wife, pets, college tuition for everyone in the bank, a summer cottage home by the lake, and a hobby like golf should all do if you're a hardworking drug dealer nowadays."
"Agreed! We have gone into detail about our finances with our kids. We have them pick jobs on LinkedIn and a home on Zillow and budget so expenses and have them watch as they realize they can't afford expensive stuff on a crap salary. It's been really great."
Look for the Signs...
"Many people tend to assume that abusive people look creepy/scary and behave badly in general, but they don't seem to get that anyone can be abusive, regardless of appearance or demeanor. An abusive person can easily be charming, attractive, funny, witty, etc."
"Just because you think someone has a few positive qualities does not mean they're incapable of abuse."
"If someone's child 'seems' happy and well behaved, it does not mean that they are automatically OK or safe. There are many signs of abuse, and I wish that more people educated themselves on this issue. We can literally save lives by doing so."
The Girl Truth
"Girls need to know everything there is to know about menstruation before they experience it. At my school we were only given a quick 'every month you will bleed out your vagina, you can use pads or tampons to absorb it.' Nothing about any of the other mental or physical effects, nothing about how to deal with them, and nothing else reassuring."
Why are girls not taught more sooner?
Like what year are we living in?
"Number one for me, especially out-of-order deaths (young deaths). My husband died when I was 33 and he was 38. It's been almost 3 years and people still struggle with how to talk to me. We need to talk about death more as a society."
Only Legal One
"Alcoholism, especially in older generations."
"The biggest drug in the world, the most dangerous, only legal one. Alcohol has been disguised to make society believe it isn't even a drug. Now we're all hooked and can't go a week without a drink, funny because the cravings come back within a week."
"I quit drinking 18 months ago and it kinda sucks because if you want to go meet new ppl or go on a date it usually involves alcohol."
"Comprehensive sex ed. My mother never had sex ed and was convinced that vaginal discharge wasn't normal and that your crotch didn't sweat."
"My mother had a condition that requires her to use a catheter. She was shocked to learn that she doesn't urinate from her vagina, and that the opening to her urethra is actually slightly above it. She's 75. I'm a dude, and I've known that since I was 14."
"She was raised Catholic, and her mother taught her nothing. Not even what her period was. She was convinced she was dying."
Follow the Money
"Financial debt. In my line of work, I see people's bank accounts and credit reports every day and it is very rare that someone has zero debt. Excluding mortgages (which is a given) the vast majority have car finance, personal loans, and credit card balances. Mostly it's manageable, credit is mostly a convenience for which a person pays interest."
"But debt can also destroy a person. It can keep you up at night feeling like you're literally suffocating. It can lead to suicide. I know because I was close at one point. I don't know if I would have actually gone through with it but I had planned it to the point of measuring rope from the timbers in my attic to my neck and to ensure my feet wouldn't touch the ground."
"If you are in debt you are not alone, you're in the majority. If it's a struggle, notify the lenders/creditors; they're legally obligated to offer options to help you. It might reduce your credit score a bit but please don't ever reduce your life instead."
"Life is precious and money isn't. If you're struggling financially please speak to someone. There is no shame in it, pretty much everyone is struggling financially so someone will understand but please don't let a credit card balance be the reason your life ends."
"Pooping and poop problems. Colon cancer is so common and relatively treatable, but like all cancers, it's so much better to catch it early - yet so many people are too embarrassed to talk about poop problems, and they don't bring it up with their doctor until it's too late."
"I have ulcerative colitis and make sure all my friends know I'm totally comfortable talking about poop if they ever have any questions about whether something happening to them is normal or concerning."
Speak more. Speak louder. We've all been quiet too long.
The Thing People Would Look For First If Given A Box Of Everything They Ever Lost
As much as we might try to take care of our things, there are going to be instances where we lose things that we love.
Ironically, those lost things might be some of the most meaningful things we have in our lives.
Redditor baba_yaga_777 asked:
"If someone offered you a box of everything you ever lost, what would you look for first?"
A Mother's Brooch
"The brooch I bought for my mom's birthday when I was five years old (60 years ago)."
"I took all my money out of my bank and walked to the local Hallmark store. The nice lady took my money (probably less than $2) and wrapped up the gift."
"When my mom opened her gift, we walked back to the store 'to thank the lady for wrapping it so nicely.' It was actually so my mom could offer to pay the rest of the cost of that beautiful brooch. The lady wouldn't accept any more money, though."
"And here we are, 60 years later, and I still remember the incredible kindness of that lady."
"I don't have the brooch or my mom, but I do have this memory."
"When we left Yemen during the civil war in 1994, it was rushed and we lost a handbag that had all family photos from 15 to 20 years prior. It sucks not to have pictures of me when I was younger."
The Perfect Fit
"My swim trunks for this summer. I just got them last year and they fit me perfectly, and now I can't find them for the life of me. It p**ses me off thinking about it."
All Progress Saved
"The 'Pokémon Crystal' game that I had leveled all of my favorite characters up to Level 80. The housecleaner swiped it and my parents wouldn’t believe me. F**k you, Julie."
Lost Loved Ones
"My daughter. She was gone way too quick."
A Beloved Baby Blanket
"My childhood blankie. I have no idea what happened to it!"
"I somehow managed not to lose or destroy mine and gave it to my firstborn child. He still keeps it in his bed and turns seven soon. I think I’d ask for that too if it was lost."
Former Best Friends
"My best friend from my formative years."
"Oof, same. She was like a sister to me. She lives on the other side of the country now and, even though we grew apart, I miss how I felt when I spent time with her."
"The stuffed platypus I had when I was in elementary. Every time my mom mentions finding stuff in my grandpa's house, I ask about it."
In Exchange for Toxic Relationships
"The self-esteem that I allowed others to destroy during a phase of illness."
"High school sketchbook full of emo edgy drawings."
The Family Ring
"My mum's ring she'd been given by her Grandma that I pawned (my mum agreed at the time but always regretted it afterwards)."
"I got way, way less than its worth, since the guy took advantage of my age and desperation. The worst thing is, I can't even remember the design so can't ever have it replicated and can't ask my mum because she passed away earlier this year."
"Sure, I still love holidays but… as a kid, it was like, 'Holy mother of everliving f**k, Halloween is in THREE WEEKS? That is entirely too long. I will never be able to wait. Holy d**n.' And when it finally arrived, I'd have the night of my life."
"Now it’s like, 'Oh no. Halloween is in two days. Uh... Oh well...'"
The Sea of Lost Picks
"As a guitarist, all of my f**king picks."
Junk Drawers and Boxes
"The box I lost that had everything in it."
Quite the Conundrum
"The issue is that I can't recall what I've lost."
We've all lost things in our lives, some more important than others.
It's especially telling that at least most of us know exactly what we would seek first, before anything else that might possibly be in that box.
People Share What Their Reaction Would Be To Meeting A Naked Hiker On The Trail
There are several things that are appealing to hikers.
Being out in nature and taking in some fresh air is a huge motivation for people to get out of the house.
Getting exercise is also a factor to maintain a healthy heart.
But there could be one unexpected element to a hike that can happen hypothetically, and it's sure to raise your heartbeat.
Specifically, seeing something shocking along the hiking trail, like, say, a naked person could make for an exciting–or disturbing–hiking outing. It certainly doesn't get any more au natural than that.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor spenf asked:
"What would be your reaction if you encountered a nude hiker?"
These Redditors assessed the situation and saw no harm.
"I have passed two nude hikers in my 35 years of hiking. One male, one female, years and thousands of miles apart. Both said 'hello'. I said 'hello.' One mentioned the trail was washed out ahead but a second trail has been cut. I thanked them for the heads-up. Some people like the wind and sun on their skin. Both had on hiking boots. To each their own."
Sign Of Good Character
"I have. Three times! I'm an avid backpacker and you can usually find me in Yosemite, SeKi, Emigrant or Carson-Iceberg in California on any random summer weekend."
"My standard line: 'Afternoon, I didn't realize it was so cold out today!'"
"One of them didn't get the joke. The other two laughed their nude a**es off."
"Here's my reasoning. If you're naked and can laugh at a joke, you're probably not a threat."
"Depends. A hiker with hiking boots/shoes and a backpack, but otherwise nude, or a completely nude person on a hiking trail?"
"Scenario 1: I give a friendly wave and hike on."
"Scenario 2: I give a more tentative wave and hike on, maintaining a heightened awareness of my surroundings."
"I met one once. A middle aged man in ok shape. Had nice hiking boots, thick wool socks, fancy framed backpack, two walking poles, hat, sunglasses, and nothing else on."
"I said hi in a neutral voice, he replied hi in an equally neutral voice. We passed, I did not look back."
Some hikers are suspect.
"While backpacking out of Rocky Mountain National Park we encountered a dude wearing nothing but shoes and some very small shorts. He was off trail about 100' at the edge of a meadow, walking and swinging a machete. I...did not approach. He was probably a mile in from the trail head. I'm guessing drugs."
Beware Of Black Magic
"Ha! There are a lot of superstitious rumors/stories circulating around scenario 2 in India. Apparently, people who practice black magic with the sole intent of harming someone are often seen walking naked in places you don't expect people, carrying weird items."
"Either you interrupt them by disturbing them (no clue what happens next) or you run in the opposite direction."
You may want to take note.
"I live in the Bay Area and naked hikers are not uncommon."
"Good naked hiker: has appropriate shoes, a backpack or fanny pack, is hiking with intention and looks tanned and fit and like he does this regularly. Good naked hikers will give you room so you don't have to interact unless you really want to."
"Bad naked hiker: shoeless, visible sores, scrapes, or burns, moving erratically (i.e. really slow or in a zig-zag). Might be a drugged out person. Out-of-shape or pale are indications this is not normal for them and they may not have intended for this to happen."
"Exhibitionist: makes a point to make eye contact, smile at you, wave, try to involve you. Good naked hikers are usually on long, deep trails where they're less likely to encounter others, and they tend to give clothed hikers a wide breath out of a sense of respect and consent. Exhibitionists get chummy; it excites them to be seen naked."
"Also depends on the area. A deep woods area with long trails is ideal for naked hiking. Shorter and more accessible trails are less okay because there's a higher likelihood of encountering families with children."
"Also depends on if they're with friends or not. A group of naked hikers is less concerning than an individual."
"All this boils down to:"
"If you see a naked hiker, mind your own business. A good naked hiker isn't trying to bother you. A bad naked hiker is potentially dangerous. An exhibitionist wants attention so any attention paid to them will fuel them. Best thing to do is nod as you pass and carry on like you haven't even noticed."
"Edit: There are actually areas in the Bay Area where it's permitted to hike naked. Regionally, some places allow nudity. Also some places allow women to be topless so a topless female hiker might just be evening out her tan. It's best not to assume and to know the local laws before passing judgement on a person getting their nature on."
Guilty as charged.
The Name Is A Dead Giveaway
"No reaction at all, since I would be nude myself."
"Stare in disbelief. That's just very strange and coincidental for two nude hikers to run into each other."
"I guess make sure they have sunscreen also."
To each their own, but if hiking in the nude is your thing, you do you.
And just a heads up: If you're walking around in the buff and happen to be wielding a machete, you're going to make people very jittery. So maybe drop the prop.
Also, wear plenty of sunscreen.
The Absolute Hardest Parts Of Dating After Age 30
30 is the new 20.
At least, that's what a lot of people tell themselves after they pass that milestone birthday.
Even so, while age is merely a number, people still find certain things grow increasingly more challenging with each passing year.
Including, or even particularly, dating.
Those still on the hunt for love after turning 30 might grow increasingly insecure, worry that their moment has passed, or be unable to ignore the ticking of their biological clock reminding them that time might be running out to start a family.
Not to mention, playing a losing game over and over can become completely and utterly exhausting after a while.
"What is the hardest part of dating after 30?"
Not Everyone Wants A Package Deal
"Realizing that the number of single parents is larger than you’d expect."- dhabo1030
"Some people have kids or want them soon."
"And emotional baggage."- Psyblade0_0
"Kids, whether you have them or not, is something to talk and consider immediately before starting anything."- Crisb89
"For me, it was finding someone who didn't have kids, and didn't want them."
"At that point in my life, I was (and still am) 100% sure I don't want kids."
"Finding a long-term partner who wants the same was pretty tough."- Toiletpaperplane
"Everyone has kids."- TopScruffyPlaying Happy Children GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Everyone's In A Hurry
"'Dating after 30 is like catching a city bus after midnight'."
"'There aren't as many, but they're faster'."- civex
How Long Have You Got?
"Online dating sucks and all my friends are married or dead or single fathers."
"So I am on my own for the most part."- somedude-83
"It's not all fun and games anymore."
"People feel late or behind."
"First dates often: are we compatible, do you want kids, are you OK with my kids, are you ready for a serious relationship, do you make enough money, do you own a home, politics?"
"I don't have time to mess with you if we aren't a match because I'm in my 30s and supposed to be married and having kids."
"The days of just light fun dating are less common."- ZLVe96Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy
Emotional And/Or Excess Baggage
"You sometimes pay for what their ex did to them."- JJJAAABBB123
Rising Standards And Expectations
"You have your preferences narrowed down a LOT more than you did in your 20s, thus finding a compatible partner is more difficult."
"Especially if you dislike kids."- Clintman
"Many people want 'high value' partners while having no value."- Zetterburger40Sassy Red Wine GIF by Married At First SightGiphy
Solo routines Can Be Hard To Shake...
"I've learned I prefer my own company."- PrinceEnternalStench
"The summoning rituals you have to go through."- AdCareful5654
Wait Till Your 40s...
"Wait until they’re over 45."
"Most are divorced and have been alone for a while."
"It‘s a reset of dating and they’re open to try something new."
"That person who was out of your league is now squarely in your court."
"Go for it!"- macgivSee Ya Goodbye GIF by MaxGiphy
Good Luck Getting A Good Night's Sleep...
"CPAP Machines."- Reddit
As long as you are single, finding love is one of the many things you think you might never achieve with each passing year.
However, when you do finally find that one true love, no matter when or how old you are, you will realize in no time at all it was definitely worth the wait.