People With Disabilities Reveal The Ways They Mess With Society
Having a disability can be empowering, especially once you learn how to screw with able-bodied people. Of course, some disabilities are invisible - so don't judge.
Midolesi asked disabled people of Reddit: What's something you do on purpose to mess with people?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
I have a friend whose mom has a plate in her head from a tumor she had when my friend was young. She used to sneeze at parties and drop a handful of tiny screws.
Something something she had a couple screws loose lol.
14. Quit pulling our legs.
I used to take my prosthetic leg off, turn it around and wear it backwards in school to get out of lessons with a substitute teacher. They'd always look horrified when I said that I'd "sprained my ankle" though.
The teachers caught on quickly enough once they mentioned it to other staff members though lol.
You should do a prank with some friend, play fight. Make sure the substitute sees him twist your leg around, and when he comes to break you up, just discretely put your leg into position and walk. Your friend could also say something like "oh just walk it off!"
I'm 27 and work as a web developer now. Unfortunately, I've got to be a little more professional; and nobody would buy it in my office lol.
13. I bet it never gets old.
One of my moms best friends has one arm and uses a prosthetic arm. She likes to unlatch it at bars and then shake hands with men and then they pull off her arm. My mom and her friends greatly enjoy this prank.
This is a nice arm, I gotta hand it to ya.
12. Show 'em.
I'm a wheelchair user but not a paraplegic. I also have restless leg syndrome (unrelated). People mention my leg moving in relation to my wheelchair a lot, like a "you can move your legs, so obviously you can walk." I put away my glasses, stand up, take a few steps and fall hard.
A lot of people don't realize that someone can be in a wheelchair for a variety of reasons. I've met people who could walk fine but still needed a wheelchair because they had a heart condition that caused them to pass out randomly.
My friend's father lost his leg just below the hip in a motorcycle accident and always wears a prosthetic; if you didn't know better, you'd think he just has a limp. Occasionally during Halloween he'll participate in the neighborhood haunted house. There was one year that he stuffed ground beef between his stump and the prosthetic and then shackled his prosthetic to the wall. When some kids wandered into his room of the haunted house he chopped through the ground beef with an axe and hopped toward them on one leg. They wet themselves.
That reminds me of a story I was told by a re-enactor. Someone he knew lost a leg to a misfiring cannon. They have a realistic prosthetic most of the time, now.
So they would arrange to be carried off the battliefield screaming and with their fake leg covered in fake blood, past the watching crowd and into the medical tent. Then the physician would drop the flaps on the tend and saw through a piece of wood while the guy screamed some more. Then they would open the tent and chuck the blood covered fake leg into a bucket, and the guy would hop out on a peg leg! Apparently people in the audience would faint!
10. Curb your expectations.
Yaaay I finally get to tell this story: not really something I've done multuple times but it still fits here.
I have Cerebral palsy which most noticably affects lower limb function as well as upper limb fuction in a less visible manner. I can still walk short distances with crutches or a walker, but need to be pushed in a wheelchair for anything longer then say 25 meters?.
In any case, a friend and I had been hanging around downtown with me in a wheelchair, having my crutches with me out of habit. When we were just about home I asked if he minded letting me walk for a bit, so I got out and toddled on with my crutches. Not having anything better to do with the wheelchair my friend decides to get in and try some wheelies or whatever.
I don't mind so of we went. For whatever reason we decide to cross the street. I struggle a bit but manage eventually. My able-bodied friend however, did not. In trying to get off the sidewalk, he keels over (presumably spectacularly as my back was turned and I didn't get to see this part, but he landed like a meter away from the wheelchair). Some people who had just come around the corner however did see the whole thing and rushed toward him to help. They had almost reached my friend when he simply (but swiftly) got up on is feet, and started pushing what those people presumed was his own wheelchair, making his way toward me as nonchalantly as he could muster. Needless to say that was not something you'd expect to happen, and this surprise was plain to see on their face
I still remember the look, as I could barely hold in my laughter.
9. I wanna go.
In the town of Pushkar, India there's a teashop off the street coming from the train station. When young tourists walk by with their backpacks, the tea seller comes lurching out of the shadows like f*cking Quasimodo growling, "Chai, chai, chai!" with one eye screwed up, terrifying them. If you go into his shop, though, suddenly he's acting normal - he has a deformity in one leg that gives him a limp, which he massively exaggerates for effect. Once you're in on the joke, it's fun to drink tea there and wait/hope for him to scare more backpackers.
8. Didn't see it coming eh? Also, these are a thing.
I had a blind guy come into the movie theatre and ask for the closed caption glasses. I got them out and handed them to him before I realized he was messing with me.
I had no idea these were a thing either. " Sony Entertainment Access Glasses are sort of like 3-D glasses, but for captioning. The captions are projected onto the glasses and appear to float about 10 feet in front of the user. They also come with audio tracks that describe the action on the screen for blind people, or they can boost the audio levels of the movie for those who are hard of hearing. "
8. Must be immensely satisfying.
I'm hard of hearing (deaf through my left ear), and whenever I meet new people or when I'm new somewhere like school, I don't immediately inform people about my hearing. Then, when they start talking to me or asking questions and I don't hear them, they often get upset/mad and say "What are you? Deaf?" And then I answer "Yes."
You should see their faces once they realize I'm not joking.
7. Scars tell stories.
I have what they call an "invisible disability" (it's not visually obvious right away.) I've had a lot of surgeries to correct various things wrong with my body, though, and I sometimes worry what people will say when I'm at the beach or the pool.
Usually some little kid will ask me or point me out to their parents, and I try to come up with an excellent reason for the scars. A bear attack, a shark attack, a llama attack (that got some laughs), fighting off 27 knife-wielding criminals, etc.
Same. I have a lotta surgical scars on my lower back/upper ass and a few of the scars poke up above my waist line. So when someone asks about the scars I like to tell them "They gave me a new butt because the one I had a crack in it." Never fails to get a few laughs.
6. Hero powers.
I have a hearing disability, and I'm a middle school teacher. A lot of my students don't understand that "hearing disability" does not mean the same thing as "zero sound 100% completely stone deaf."
That means that occasionally, students will talk in my classroom about things they wouldn't tell a teacher. Then I can quietly take action on the things I hear, when it's needed. HOW did the assistant principal find out who took that embarrassing video of one girl and started passing it around the school? WHY did the bully's schedule get changed so she's no longer in the same class as her victim?
Magic, that's how, kids. MAGIC.
The hero we need.
Thank you for making your disability to your super hero power! I know that the bully victims definitely appreciate it!
Oh man my go to story for this is the first week of Infinity Wars in theaters.
So I have cystic fibrosis, long story short ended up with a port in my chest. It's a device used to deliver medicine, and it leaves a pretty sizeable bump there.
Okay so throughout the movie these two absolute jackholes just keep blabbing, won't shut up after multiple times asking. Probably should have gotten the concierge to kick them out now that I think about it, but hindsight is 20/20. So after the movie ends and everyone is walking out I walked up behind them and coughed really loud on them. They turned to me, I apologized and said "oh my God I'm so sorry. Make you sure you go sanitize right away." I pull down my shirt revealing the bump. "Technically I shouldn't even be out if the hospital, they still don't know what this is."
Brushed past them and left, so I have no idea how they reacted but I like to think I gave em a scare.
4. The best lessons need only be taught once.
Favorite story about my s.o.b. uncle: He lost his leg above his knee years and years ago. Nowadays, the prosthetics are a bit more comfortable, and can use suction to stay in place - long time ago though, he'd have to wear a special belt, and buckle his prosthetic to it. It was really uncomfortable. If he knew he was going to be sitting for a while, he'd unbuckle his leg to relieve some of the pressure. He'd usually sit on the outside of the table/booth when going out, to stretch it out a bit.
He and my aunt were eating dinner at a diner in their small town, and there was an unruly small child running amok. Kid was running around, getting into things he shouldn't etc, and nobody did anything because: small town diner. My uncle was getting irritated. So, from his spot on the outside of the booth, he stretches his leg a little further than normal, and sure enough the kid takes the bait. He comes over and kicks my uncle's leg... Which flops like 90 degrees to the side, amid my uncle's (fake) screams of pain.
Kid didn't bother anyone else that night.
3. Might as well.
I am pretty much legally blind in one eye and vision is going in the other, my glasses help a bit but not much. I always have people ask me how many fingers I'm holding up and I always say "I don't know, 23?" because I'm just tired of hearing people ask.
You should flip them off and say "how many fingers am I holding up"
2. Super humor.
When I was in college, I shared a few classes with a guy who was severely disabled. I don't remember what the nature of his disability was exactly, but he was confined to a wheelchair with very limited use of his body and had a caretaker who took notes for him. His outward appearance was no indication of his intelligence, wit, and humor though. The guy was sharp as a tack and funnier than hell. We became great buds that semester. Anyway, in one class we had a very old school professor that ran the class like an angry Catholic nun. In addition to this, the professor constantly treated my buddy as if he was mentally disabled just because he was in a wheelchair. But rather than taking direct offense to the professor's condescending attitude, my buddy saw it as an opportunity to flip the script and just played into it by randomly yelling out, "TIMMAY!!!" every 15 minutes or so. All. Semester. Long. It never didn't get a laugh, and the professor would be seething by the end of every class session with zero recourse.
Partied with a similar dude- a college grad but wheelchair bound because of childhood injury who had some vocalizations. But he could communicate better with a text to speech computer that looked like a keyboard (just before smart phone/tablet era). Dude would get hammered drunk (sipping drink via a straw) and then start screwing up his keyboard input so the computer voice would mess up. Imagine a computer voice like from Stephen Hawking but gone drunk and wonky. He was a hoot.
1. We are what we are.
A paraplegic friend of mine always makes purposefully awkward handicapped jokes. It would work better if he didn't do it in a discord chat with new people, but the reactions he gets are pretty funny anyway.
I'm nearly legally blind/deaf and I do the same. It's always enjoyable to see people's reactions and then get the usual questions. Glad to know someone else does it as well!
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Not much good can come from dwelling on the past.
Even so, no matter how hard we try to avoid doing so, we can't help but look back on things we've done in our lives which we regret.
In some cases, it's nothing which had any sort of lasting effect, like wishing we thought more carefully about where we had a birthday or spending more than we could afford on an outfit that didn't end up paying off.
In sadder cases though, we often wonder what our lives might have been like if he had made a different, and smarter decision.
If we didn't say certain things to certain people, not spoken up when someone needed us to or rushed too hastily into a life we weren't ready for.
"What is one thing you regret doing in life?"
Giving People Attention Who Didn't Deserve It
"Wasting time worrying about people that never spared me a single thought."- Eborys
Getting In With The Wrong Crowd
"I regret making friends with people who I knew were bad for me just because it was easier than becoming friends with good people."
"Now I don't have many solid friends."- misswallflowerr
Staying In, When They Should Have Gotten Out
"Not ending bad/unhealthy/unfulfilling relationships sooner."- Superseriouslyguys
"Hanging on to a relationship for too long."
"I should have up and disappeared the first time he was disrespectful."- Mirrorflute88
Not Taking Enough Risks
"Not putting myself out there enough."
"I probably missed out on a lot of opportunities because I'm so self-conscious."
"Working on this though!"- Fife_Flyer
"Not following my dreams and ended up sitting behind a desk for 30 years."
"Of course, I'm currently on Reddit sitting behind my desk."
"So, there's that."- CatOnTheHill
"Overthinking my way out of potentially rewarding choices."- mmmmike1590
Rushing Into Things
"Going to college before I had the slightest idea what I wanted to do with my life."- Mysterious_Shake2894
Taking Things For Granted
"Not spending more time with my mom."
"I visited her 2-3 times a week but still, there were other times she'd call and I'd ignore the call or tell her I didn't have time to talk."
"Would give anything to go back and take every one of those calls."- Fruitjustlistens
Putting Their Health At Risk
"Most of 2019–addiction bottom."
"Sober now for 432 days and counting."- CommunicationTop5231
"20 years spent on expensive, self-fed poison."
"Biggest regret of my life, by far."- Itsprobablysarcasm
"Mentally exhausting myself at work for companies that turned out to not give a sh*t about me or value my work."- fpuni107
"Being too nice to tell undeserving people to f*ck off when I should've been putting myself first."
"Lessons learned."- MrsHppy
Not Having Enough Fun
"So, this is gonna sound kinda dumb, but I kinda wish I had acted out a bit more."
"Taken more risks, gotten in trouble more, explored and pushed my boundaries."
"I was pretty sheltered growing up and really wanted to be this good person."
"It created a lot of conflicting feelings for me."
"It also contributed to me avoiding doing some stuff cause I thought it'd be bad for me."
"Now that I'm older and worked through some of those issues, I feel like I missed out on a lot of stuff other people got in their teens and 20s."
"I'm now at a point where I'm exploring that, but most people my age have already gone through it."
"I just feel like I'm trying to 'catch up' with everybody."- animewhitewolf
It's only human to look back on things we regret, or wish we had done differently.
But living in the past will only keep us in the past.
The only way to move forward and make progress is to accept the present for what it is: a present.
Serving in the military is not for the faint of heart.
There are so many dangerous aspects to the job.
When people discuss it, we think about war and the sacrifice people make with their lives.
But there is a ton of scandal involved with the military.
Over the years, so much information has leaked about bad behavior and just everyday nonsense.
Just because a person becomes a soldier doesn't mean they're perfect.
Redditor AdRealistic03 wanted to discuss the shocking things we've all learned about our armed forces, so they asked:
"What are some NSFW secrets about the military?"
The military is littered with secrets, and I love secrets. Tell me more...
Hey GirlFight Dance GIF by tv2norgeGiphy
"Been in for a long while now, the most apt descriptor I've heard:"
"'Gayest bunch of straight dudes you'll ever meet.'"
"Our Air Force’s most critical asset, nuclear weapons, are primarily guarded by a bunch of really bored teenagers."
"Navy is the same. The guy that Naruto runs to the galley is the same one that stands watch over the nuclear reactor."
"Lowest ranks pull guard duties more often."
"Who's the lowest rank? That baby faced 18 year old who just joined up."
"Guard duties are up there as one of the most bone taskings going."
The Side Hustle
"Sometimes the guy that administers the drug test is the same one that you get the drugs from."
"I was our unit's drug test guy. I smoked weed every day because I obviously would not drug test myself. I was also really good at it so they wouldn't give the job to someone else. I could get our tests done and completed without mistakes in like 1/5 of the time of my predecessor. Didn't sell drugs, but I've given plenty away."
"Swingers exist on every single base in the world, in Sigonella, they would use different boxes of detergent in the windows to show what they were into and what age range they were looking for. Patrolling the housing area became much more interesting when you see who lives in the houses and what they’re into."
Multi-PurposeHungry Labor Day GIF by BounceGiphy
"The food boxes that come in literally say 'For prison and military use only.'"
"My husband was watching a documentary with people in prison and was like hey we have the same blankets on the ship."
No matter who eats it, it's been said nobody thinks any of that food tastes good.
How many?Oh My Reaction GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"I was selected 6 times in a row to be a urinalysis checker. Have seen over 2000 penises involuntarily."
"The number of people who get sick and tired of being in the service who will go out and do some drug or another to get kicked out. During our Iraq/Afghanistan years, you wouldn't believe how many people would purposely pee hot or, females would intentionally get pregnant to get out of going."
"A friend of mine in the special forces told me since they are out in the field a lot, they get plenty of ticks. And while you can inspect yourself fairly well, you can’t inspect everything, so they pair up and spread their cheeks, and your mate has to stare into your anus to check you for ticks in there. Not very glamorous."
Health IssuesOkaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Looooooottttts of chlamydia."
"My unit in Okinawa had the highest STD rate for the island. I was so glad I wasn't a part of any of that."
"Our oceans are loaded with garbage. LOADED."
"I would watch the long trail of garbage follow my ship, in the wake, as crew dumped the s**t off the fantail. Every single day. Miles and miles of trash. And this was just one ship. This was just one nation. Our oceans are full of garbage that will take centuries to erode. Our waters are littered with sh*t that fish are eating and dying on."
Sounds like there is A LOT of fraternization in our Armed services.
Be careful out there.
Things People Learned From Their Parents That They Didn't Realize Were F**ked Up Until Later In Life
It's always nice to think that parents are doing everything they can to raise their children, but as humans, they're all going to make mistakes.
But as many people will discover, their parents also taught them some terrible lessons when they were young.
Redditor timdood3 asked:
"What did your parents teach you as a kid that you didn't realize was actually f**ked up until you were older?"
What Is Self-Love?
"In an effort to teach me to be considerate, or not selfish, I guess, my dad said, 'Love yourself last' more than a few times to me. That’s a mess I’ve been untangling for about 35 years."
"My mom told me that, on some buildings, there weren’t guard dogs but rather guard birds. These birds were trained to peck your eyes out if you trespassed. I believed this till I was 16 and have been afraid of birds ever since."
"My grandparents were morticians... I remember sitting on an embalming table, swinging my legs back and forth off the table, while watching my grandfather embalm someone and talk to me about what he was doing. I was seven."
"It's honestly a great memory and the many times I had with him like that taught me a lot about how to deal with death, how life is cherished, how different grief can be from person to person, and how to be emotionally strong for others."
"Good guy... Just was very desensitized to his work's more macabre parts."
"To add to this story, my grandparents were morticians for work, owning their own funeral home, but magicians as a hobby, frequently traveling with and training other magicians."
"When my grandfather passed away, we had a special service just for his magician friends. Some of the most famous magicians in the world showed up for the wand breaking, where my grandfather's wand was broken in two."
The Extensive Scapegoating
"For me, it was after they'd duped a child psychologist. I was in what? Second or third grade?"
"But I realized that they were so good at pretending to be the best people in the world that they could act as if I was the terrible one. They would always find a way to pass me as the monster instead of them."
"It didn't matter who I would have told."
"As a former scapegoat child, I can tell you, unequivocally, that you were never the problem. They were the monsters."
The Truth Behind Child Protective Services
"My mom somehow convinced me that 'child protective services' were the bad guys."
"Finding out (well into adulthood) that they take children away from biological parents' care only as an extreme last resort was a bit of a shocker."
"It also makes me wonder just how much she was doing, that she knew was f**ked up, and I just didn't bother remembering because it had always been that way for me."
Don't Be a Burden
"Do not ever be a bother to anyone. Solve all your problems by yourself."
"I feel this one. My parents paired it with 'always be accommodating to others.' Made it so I had very few boundaries and always tried to help others even when I didn't want to, but could never ask or accept help when offered. Not a great mix for the abusive relationships I faced as I got older."
"It really hit me when we were walking on a wide sidewalk. A group approached and my mom shoved me off onto the grass, even though the group had plenty of room. Your own kid gets body-checked so you don’t even have the appearance of slightly inconveniencing strangers."
"My oldest kid asked me once, just out of curiosity, 'How come you always have to hop off the path when people are coming? But they never do?'"
"That hit me like a sack of bricks. That it was that noticeable for my kid to pick up. I never made him move, but I always do. Even now. Hard habit to break."
"They made me distrust my own intelligence. They talked down to me and treated me like an airhead, giving me a smirk every time I tried to be serious about anything."
"It wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned that I am intelligent and gained self-confidence despite the negative self-esteem they had instilled in me."
Drinking and Driving
"My Dad told me he could drink beer in the car if he drank it while the car was stopped. It’s only drinking and driving if the car is in motion. I was like makes sense. I was around four."
"My dad got me a job when I was 18, so I'd drive in with him. On the way home, he would beeline for the liquor store. He'd drink a half pint and two Budweisers on a 30-minute ride home, three to five times a week. I thought this was just what people did after work on the way home. Crazy."
Building Credit and Credit Debt
"I was told, 'Don’t get a credit card.'"
"No one ever told me there’s no interest if you pay on time."
"I could’ve built my credit earlier, but they just didn’t want me to spend money I didn’t have and fall into debt with interest."
"Student Loan Debt, however… yeah that was highly encouraged by every adult around me…"
"My dad was 'teaching' me about credit cards and said you can just make the minimum payment every month. It blew my mind, and made it seem like free money. Thank god I didn’t take that advice. I pay my credit card off every month and he’s drowning in credit card debt."
Grief is Unacceptable
"If you’re sad, that means the devil is inside you and you need to pray for forgiveness."
"I was six, and my cat had just died."
"After arguing with a girlfriend and not speaking with her for a few days, BOTH my parents told me separately to hold onto my beef with her like a grudge and use it against her later."
"I've been married to the girlfriend now 25 years this year, never once took my parents' advice, and have NO IDEA how my parent's marriage survived, lol (laughing out loud)."
"I have a couple in my family like that. Any time I was at their house, without fail, they would be making passive-aggressive comments, sniping at each other, bringing up all sorts of past s**t, etc..."
"As a kid, I never looked forward to going to their place, because it was always incredibly awkward. Yet, they've been married for close to 50 years. It's like bitching at each other nonstop is their love language."
"My mom always said she was so happy the two of them found each other, if for nothing else than that it spared two other innocent people from having to put up with them."
"I always had anxiety as a child, and my mother said the only way to get over it is to deal with the situation head-on. Sounds great until I told her my fear of escalators and she pushed me down, and I fell and almost got my hair caught."
"Another thing she loved to teach me is how self-defense is necessary. Great! Where do I take lessons? There were no lessons.. she said being with my abusive ex was enough of a lesson. I should have learned then."
"My dad instilled crippling perfectionism in me, which I realized was insane when I got older and people told me to just 'do my best.'"
"When I was in grade school, I would come to my dad with A’s all super excited. But, if it was anything less than a 100%, he would ask for the missing percentage. So, when I had a 98%, he’d say, 'Well, where’s the 2%?' And now, if I do anything less than perfect, I beat myself up."
Make It Make Sense
"I was scolded for pouting, stomping my feet, and being sad. I ended up avoiding all of those when I grew up and became secretive about my emotions. Then, they would get mad at me for not opening up."
While we all like to think the best of our parents, many people have come to terms with the mistakes their parents made, including the false information they were given.
The problem with so much of this information is how hard it is to unlearn, and how deeply traumatizing it can be to discover we were traumatized.
People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot
Some people are not destined to be friends, and some are absolutely not compatible to date.
But sometimes we don't find that out until we're already dating them, and they reveal a belief they have that we feel is completely ridiculous.
Redditor Ghost7579ox asked:
"When did you realize that you’re dating an idiot?"
Issues with Big Brother
"She refused to pay taxes, have a bank account, or pay for public transit."
"She told me, 'I change my name every few years so they can't find me.'"
"Like, she'd go to the GOVERNMENT and change her name. Legally. So the GOVERNMENT couldn't find her."
"We broke up for other reasons, but this was the first red flag."
"She pre-heats the microwave."
"When I mentioned WW1, and she asked if that was why they called WW2 'THE SECOND WORLD WAR?!'"
"She had no idea there was a first one."
"Her parents also taught her that a guy masturbating and a girl having a period were basically the same thing as abortions. No wonder she was one of 11 siblings."
Not a Guitar Player
"It was in high school, but I got an acoustic guitar to try to learn. I asked my boyfriend who claimed to have played if he could tune it for me."
"This motherf**ker literally turned it all the tight that the f**king bridge ripped off and then acted like it was a piece of junk."
"It was a cheap guitar but he literally wasn't listening for the notes or anything and just turning away and acting shocked, when even I thought that's exactly what would happen not knowing anything about guitars."
Just Slow Down
"The cops regularly put a speed camera on a corner near his house. They have been doing it a couple of times a month for as long as he lived there, and he got caught by it many times."
"He was crying to me (literally) about how unfair the latest fine was and he had no money to pay it, I was fed up and told him to just slow down around that corner."
"I could tell from the look on his face he hadn't even considered that, and he got angry with me for not being sensitive enough."
Stick It to the Man
"She skipped going to community college classes to 'stick it to the professor'..."
"I had to explain that she had already paid to be there and the professor wouldn't care or notice."
"The day I told my girlfriend I think I broke my toe and her solution was to yank on it with all her might."
"It was gout."
"She was struggling with money and being able to save. I came home one day and she had a new 40k car in the driveway. She purchased it without even discussing it with me."
"She essentially sentenced herself to have no savings for the next five years when we were trying to save to buy a house together."
Gas Leak Roulette
"The night I said that I thought I smelled gas, and they grabbed a lighter and struck it without hesitation."
Sonic: The Horror Movie
"My ex was scared of hedgehogs and convinced himself they could jump over a six-foot fence like a cat."
The Knife Tip of Narcissism
"When I asked her to hand me a kitchen knife and she threw it at me (underhanded, but still)… and that’s not even the stupidest part."
"When I tried to explain the basics of handing someone a knife, or pair of scissors, she refused to accept that what she did was wrong or unsafe… It was suddenly apparent that she couldn’t possibly ever admit to being wrong."
Advertising's Version of 'Groundhog Day'
"An ex thought that commercials were recorded live, and the people on TV were employed to do them over and over again."
How the Cookie Crumbles
"She worked for a specialty decorated cookie shop at the mall. Like where you get those dinner plate-sized cookies with 'Get Well Soon' or whatever written in frosting."
"She texted me a picture from work, proudly showing me a cookie she had decorated for a customer. She was legitimately excited to show me her creation. I had not previously seen any of her masterpieces prior to this."
"Not only did the artwork look like a three-year-old's finger painting, but it said, 'CONRADULATINS,' which aside from the obviously bad spelling, she had clearly not even planned out the spacing in her head first, so it said, 'CONRADU,' across the whole cookie, and then, in tiny letters up the side, 'latins.'"
" She thought it came out pretty well. She was about 30 at the time."
"I'll be honest, I broke things off shortly afterwards because of that cookie."
"After her third 'business opportunity' turned out to be another pyramid scheme."
"We didn't date long but knew each other for a while before that. I liked her for her 'work hard, get paid' attitude. Turns out the hard work she was doing was costing her waaay more than she made, and didn't realize it."
"I broke down how pyramid schemes work to this one girl who got sucked into them all the time. Throughout my explaining, she said, 'That sounds like MLM,' like three times. After, we sat in silence. Can't see the forest for the trees comes to mind."
Inexperienced with... Weather?
"One night he turned to me and said, 'You're a bit of a scientist' (I was taking biology in high school, he was in college for music). 'Can you explain how I can take frozen yogurt from the freezer, put it in the fridge, and it melts?'"
"I, already concerned, replied, 'Well, the fridge is warmer. It's not cold enough to keep it frozen.'"
"He then asked, 'But it's still cold?'"
"And I had to explain that there are different levels of cold?"
"Somewhere along the way, I said, 'Cold is the absence of heat like darkness is the absence of light,' and he was so mindblown by that."
Not every relationship is meant to work out, but there are some that are more obviously destined to continue than others.
At least in most of these cases, the person was saved some time because of their partner's knowledge.