Anybody who is even slightly different than the average population knows that feeling of looking into the camera like you're on The Office feeling of frustration when you're talking to a normal person.
People who have a difference of ability must accumulate these frustrating experiences faster than any other. We take things like our hearing, our sight, our mobility, for granted so intensely that we probably can't help but piss them off.
u/Griffin1102 asked:
Disabled people of Reddit, what is your most "bruh" moment with an abled person?
Here were some of those answers.
Do You Know Which Sense I'm Referring To?
GiphySo many. i'm Deaf.
Most common are me finding the email contacts on websites and writing, asking for information and proactively stating that i'm Deaf and can't use the phone. [Yes, there's relay but people hang up and it takes way long and not all operators are equal and.....it's just not good]
i'd say at least 50% of the time i get back a non-form letter, so i know they read my comment word for word....but still want me to call them.
Nope, still Deaf : 0
That and the braille menu being offered at restaurants. [ many Deaf, like myself, will hold eye contact *hard* - because we're speech-reading. how you could offer braille to someone who's staring you down just ....gobsmacks me. ]
Please Think, Teach
One of my best friends was born with only one arm, and freshman year of high school in computer class he got yelled at for not having both hands on the keyboard.
When You're All But Speechless
Was born with Achilles tendons that don't stretch properly and are very prone to injury due to thinning and weakness. After one really bad tear caused by a fall down the stairs, I was using a wheelchair and while waiting in line at the store, I had a man old enough to be my grandfather PICK UP the back of my chair so he could cut me in line. I was so shocked I didn't say anything, just stared in horror.
Ha....Ha?
One of my arms is unusable and notably under-developed, so I do everything with one hand. Once during a meeting with my supervisor, he said something to the effect of, "It's a tough task the first time you do it, but in a few months you'll be able to do it with one hand behind your back." And I was like, "Well I guess that depends which hand..."
The look on his face was great. I actually love making jokes like that with people because you can tell they don't know how to respond.
You're Gettin' Kinda Brave There
I am both visually impaired and have Cerebral Palsy. I asked a woman for directions to the bathroom on my first visit to a store. She led me to the bathroom, cool. Then she followed me into the bathroom. I was thinking that maybe she had to go to. Then she tried to follow me into the stall. At that point, I had to explain that 'no, ma'am, I do not need help using the bathroom.'
I Think We're Alone Now...Thankfully
Can I tell on myself? I volunteer as a guide for disabled athletes. One athlete I was working out with is blind. She had her dog, and was holding my arm. It's a night, so I had a headlamp.
Anyway, when it's about time to turn around, she wants to let her dog off the harness so he can pee. She squats down to undo the buckles and I...shine my headlamp on the harness, thinking I'm being helpful.
Once I realized what I was doing, I quickly stood up and looked around to see if anyone had seen me being dumb.
Justice AND The Stars
There was a blind kid studying to be a lawyer at my college and I compared him to daredevil. His hearing was exceptional and he was a great student. I think he told someone who asked why he wanted to be a lawyer, "Well justice is blind."
Can Still See, Bruh
I'm deaf. One day in Astronomy 100 I was sitting up front (part of an accommodation for me) with an interpreter. After class a girl came up to me and straight up asked me if I could read. Think about this for a second. I'm taking classes at a university. I know she meant well, but still. I told her I could. She handed me a note; on the note she said that she could take notes for me if I needed it. It was a nice gesture, but a really dumb question.
The Prefix Doesn't Mean It's The Same Thing
I manage a Welfare unit at a good number of festivals and I usually work beside the same medic company. I was chatting to a new trainee paramedic while we were having a cigarette. I happened to mention that I am epileptic and she then asked me if I have an epi-pen.
It took her a long time to work out why I was looking at her as if she was the dumbest b*tch alive. Didn't go down too well with the head medic either.
Update Shmupdate
GiphyLocal nightclub had new owners so they did some "updates" on the building as well as the name change. I went there because I knew it was accessible.
Turns out one of the changes they made was to change how to get to the bathrooms, there was a wall where the slope was and the ONLY way was the three stairs. By the time I realized that I needed to use it and was unhappy. Talked to the manager and said that it's not cool. I know there's nothing he can do about it, I just wanted to point out how stupid that change was and that they no longer had me (or my group of friends) as customers.
He apologized and offered me free drinks for the night. I had to slowly explain why I could not accept his offer and watch his face as he realized how ignorant he proved himself to be.
That Ain't It, Kid
My mom is in a wheelchair and we live in New England, a part of the country where buildings were built long before OSHA or when disabled folks were even considered peoples.
So places like restaurants have to be called to ensure they're handicapped accessible, so cue this convo:
Me: "Hi! I'm just curious if you guys are wheelchair accessible?"
Woman: "Well... we got a few steps but they're not that steep."
Short Term V. Long Term
I have Spina Bifida
I work in a kitchen and on this particular shift I was with the two guys I work with. One of them had a bike ran over his leg and could barely walk and we were tasked with cleaning the splash back for our cooktops. Somebody had to do it.. with little to no input it's on me. Explaining to them both if I so much as slip the wrong way I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life (this is at a height of 2+metres) they paused and the injured one said 'well what about my leg?!' Bruh....
I Have No Motivation To Do This
Giphy"Why can't you go on a boat? No way you'd fall off. You can just wear a life jacket."
After I just said I have a trach, meaning water can get into my lungs and have me drown internally; I don't have the balance or body strength to hold myself above the water, due to a muscular dystrophy disease, or the ability to swim - even with a life jacket, you still bob up and down in the water, therefore get water in your body. Lol. Ignorance is so real.
This Ain't Jaws, Bruh
I work with disabled people.
At my last workplace we went swimming (All adult people, group of 6 plus me and two coworkers) and I notice a strange look from some old dudes in the pool. They walked out of the pool and one of them said: "Let's get out, they may attack us"
Like the dangerous disabled people who wanted to play in the water with a ball... very dangerous.
My coworker said that things like happen quite often.
What Don't You Get About "Disorder"
Right after I finished explaining my long history (14 of my 21 years at that stage) of disordered sleep and having seen sleep doctors and tried all the usual stuff to a doctor that I was seeing for fibromyalgia management, she paused and said, "well, your fibromyalgia would be a lot more manageable if you just slept more."
...bruh.
It Can't Just Grow Back, Linda
Probably when I went to the DMV to have my disability placard renewed. For reference, I have a prosthetic leg. I went up to the lady at the counter at the DMV and said that my placard was expiring and I needed a new one. She said that in order to get a new placard, I had to go to the doctors and get a note that said my leg was still missing. I was like, "I can pull off the leg right now for you to show you it's still missing..." And she looked more than a little flustered, but said that it was a state requirement. So I had to go to the doctors, ask him to write me a note saying that my leg was still missing so that I could get my new handicap placard. Bruh...
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.