One of the things I honestly miss the most about being a child is how blissfully unaware I was of just how filthy some places are. As a child I never got onto an airplane and wondered what that smell was. I don't recall a single time I walked into a hotel room, a friend's house, a restaurant, etc and ever contemplated how sanitary it was - or wasn't.
And then, somewhere along the lines, my innocent childhood blinders fell off and I could see everything. Everything. The sorts of things you can see when you gain germ-vision are just ... just ... whyyyyy?!
Reddit user Latterwatercress asked:
What was your "They didn't clean this hotel room very well" moment?
Some of these people absolutely did not need to be germophobes to be able to tell their rooms weren't cleaned. I'm not talking about one little bug or a layer of dust. You're about to enter an article full of bodily fluids, sh*t tons of literal sh*t, and at least one potential homicide. Honestly, we're all over here questioning whether any hotel room we stay in ever again will really be "clean."
Yup. Now we're traumatized. Our hats are off to you hotel workers who have to clean up after guests. Apparently the human animal is truly a horrific beast. (Some responses have been edited for clarity and language... especially the poop stories. Obviously.)
Reddit user Latterwatercress asked:
What was your "They didn't clean this hotel room very well" moment?
Some of these people absolutely did not need to be germophobes to be able to tell their rooms weren't cleaned. I'm not talking about one little bug or a layer of dust. You're about to enter an article full of bodily fluids, sh*t tons of literal sh*t, and at least one potential homicide. Honestly, we're all over here questioning whether any hotel room we stay in ever again will really be "clean."
Yup. Now we're traumatized. Our hats are off to you hotel workers who have to clean up after guests. Apparently the human animal is truly a horrific beast. (Some responses have been edited for clarity and language... especially the poop stories. Obviously.)
Hanging Undies
GiphyWhen I stretched out on the bed and looked up at the ceiling fan, there was underwear hanging on the fan blades - both male and female varieties.
They must've been moist, so the previous hotel guests placed them there to dry. In any case, the cleaning staff apparently never noticed the undies hanging from the fan.
Poop or Cigar?
Just a literal log of old sh*t that falls out from the covers. I don't think the staff actually cleaned the bedsheets. Happened when I went on vacation as a kid with my family.
We just checked in to the room and me and my cousins wanted to make a bed sheet fort and when we pulled the covers from the bed and u-ntucked it from the mattress, out rolled the ashy brown log. To be perfectly fair, it could have been an old cigar, but we didn't want anything to do with it either way. My family screamed at the staff for awhile and we left the hotel.
- Wiknetti
Dirty Vegas Room
Las Vegas, summer 2012, we got our room from some online travel site. We go to Vegas, we're in one of the nicest rooms in The Luxor. The morning after we get there, the manager knocks on the door, says something like we shouldn't have been able to book the room or some sh*t? Apparently since it was EDC that meant it was a 'special weekend.' I don't know if this is anywhere close to the true story or not, because my friend is kind of a stupid little ass who never admits fault. Either way, we have to leave.
EDC is huge. We can't find a room. There is a little shitty motel just off of the strip, it's room rental is literally a head shop. It's $80 for the night.
We go in the room, there's one bed, the bed is so stained with semen that it is clearly used exclusively by sex workers and never cleaned. Nothing against sex workers - everything against people who don't clean up after themselves! There are three giant mirrors on the ceiling. The floor is gross, everything looks unkempt - but we have literally 0 other options and it's late.
My friends talked me out of sleeping in the bathroom. But my logic was that at least the hookers at some point used soap in the bathroom.
We all slept on the floor, my friend who was driving us most of the way home didn't even sleep in the room he paid $30 toward. He slept in the car.
The TV was clearly moved so that they could have sex on the stand at some point because I moved it to sleep on something that wasn't the godawful shag carpeting I assume is full of crabs or lice.
We were so screwed with literally no where else to stay, that we slept in room, went back to the Luxor an showered the second we could. I threw away my clothes I slept in.
My friend laughed at me as I tried to figure out a way to sleep without my arms or hands touching the ground, but said that he understood why.
Belated Honeymoon
Last December, my wife and I took a very belated honeymoon (about 10 years late) to Disneyworld. (She's a big fan, I am... accommodating.) We stayed in the Contemporary and when we got to the room, the cleaning staff had left rags everywhere and had stashed the cart and bag of trash in the bathroom. Nothing horrifying, but I dropped a lot cash for this. I went to the front desk to get somebody to get the trash out of the room and the guy at the front desk said "What? That sucks." I was like, man, get your manager please. Then I got the apology and a free meal on our meal plan.
Poop Pile
When my son was really small he had some medical issues, and he pooped in the bed when we were on vacation.
I felt terrible about it but called the front desk, told them, asked if they could send someone sooner than later to clean it up, and if I had to I'd pay extra. I totally understand that cleaning up feces creates a health hazard. I offered to pay extra if I had to or hire someone to come in and get it done. I really couldn't at the time and needed to concentrate on my son.
They said that wouldn't be needed and this was no problem.
Anyways, went out for the day. Returned end of day, open the door and the place smells much worse than when we left. I approach the bed and it was made, but looked a bit lumpy in the middle... Looking around the room everything else was done, garbage taken out, towels replaced, etc. But pulling back the sheets, there was the whole reason I called the front desk in the first place, still there, horribly.
I don't know if they just didn't tell the person who cleaned the room or what was up and they somehow just missed it, adjusted the bed as was but never pulling back the sheets? I have no idea, but they missed it.
So I called down, alerted them, they felt bad and couldn't explain it, we ended up with a new upgraded room as I'm sure they felt bad. But man I don't know how they missed that on the cleaning even without a heads up.
Not A Murderer
GiphyIt's a little long, but worth it.
Well... About 20 years ago my girlfriend at the time (now Mrs) were about to leave for a concert out of town early the next morning and carpool with a friend to the show (about 8 hours drive). We decided to get a hotel room to be closer to the people we were riding with.
We went to the front desk of the University Blvd Holiday Inn and got a room (on the cheap). We opened the door and found that the room was absolutely trashed with beer bottles and clothes still littering the room. Obviously, we didn't want a trashed room and went back to the desk where they gave us a different room. The second room was actually clean and we proceeded to celebrate finding a room, then getting some sleep.
We left early the next morning and made it to the show. Afterwards, we opted to make the brief drive from the show to a city on the coast about an hour from the show to meet up with friends for a few days on the beach. We may have extended that stay a couple days, too.
After about 5 days we returned to our city and went about our lives. Several days later one of my friends pages me that my grandmother has been trying to reach me for a few days. So, I called her up. .
I was NOT prepared for her response. She was screaming and carrying on. Well, apparently the police had been actively looking for me as part of several MURDER investigations. See, that first room we went into had more than clothes and malt liquor everywhere. There were a couple stolen guns, wallets from robbery/homicide victims, clothes with blood on them and lots more evidence of plenty of crimes.
The desk clerk had never fixed the registration in the books and had me as the last person in the room. Come to find out that the maintenance person for the hotel had been letting his homies stay at the Inn without permission. One of those cronies was apparently a pretty infamous gang banger. When I went in to sit down with the police, it was pretty quickly figured out that I was NOT who they were looking for and I was let go.
So... they didn't clean the room.
- WayL0st
Loaded And Loaded
I worked at an extended stay hotel for one of the major brands. One day a nice Japanese couple checked in to their room. Wife, husband, young child. About an hour later the husband comes down and begins to explain that he was pulling out the sofa bed for his child, when he realized that somebody had forgotten their bag of used heroin needles and their LOADED GLOCK, under the mattress. He calmly placed the gun and the bag of needles on the front desk as I rushed into the back office to get our GM as I was not equipped to handle the broken English conversation that was about to go down. I called the cops to come claim the weapon and was conveniently tasked with showing the housekeepers how to properly inspect the sofa mattresses. I don't work in hotels anymore.
The Poo Cruise
This was our room on a cruise many years ago.
First evening of a three day cruise. I'm fifteen. My brothers are younger. My mum is the only adult on the trip. Because I'm a teenager, like hell I'm going to spend time with my family. I find a guy my age and sing karaoke with him.
When it gets late I get back to the cabin. My mum is suffering from mild sea sickness. Brothers are asleep. I'm left with a top bunk. Great. I climb up, without turning on any lights so as not to wake my brothers. I spread open the blanket and...
It looks like poo. It can't be poo. I turn on the small mounted reading light, and yeah it's poo. Mostly dry. Three distinct piles on my snow white sheets.
I climb down. Mum doesn't believe me at first. When she goes to see for herself she tells me she's too sea sick to go to the reception, so I can take her bed and she will sleep in the chair.
It's f*cking poo! If they missed that, what else did they miss? But it's late, I'm so so so tired, I'm an awkward fifteen year old. Last thing I'm going to do is talk to someone. I resign myself to sleeping in the chair and prop my feet against the vanity desk. Now the light is on, because mum had to see the poo for herself.
As I lay in the chair staring at the ceiling I see poo. In the ceiling. I start to laugh. It's too absurd. I turn on all the lights and there are brown stripes in the ceiling! That's not all! If I look closely, it's also in the carpet. Faint, because they got most of it out, but it's there.
Mum says we'll sort this out in the morning.
I'm too angry to sleep!
I go to the information/reception alone. (Before cell phones, and it didn't occur to me to use the cabin phone.) I have to wait, the man at the desk is helping a drunk passenger. When it's my turn, he doesn't believe me. I get angry, which makes him believe me even less. He's condescending towards me. He goes on to say how every cabin is cleaned between trips and nothing like that has ever happened.
Well it happened now. To me. I threaten to throw all the soiled linen into the hallway and he finally agrees to come with me. We have to wait a bit for another staff member to take over the desk, and he's scoffing and puffing. He really doesn't want to do this.
I show him the poo in the bed and on the ceiling and floor, and now that I'm looking at the backside on the chair it's smeared into it as well.
The man is reeeeeaaaallly dismissive. He calls the cleaners, who come and change our sheets while me, mum and my sleepy brothers wait in the hallway.
They find poo in the shower as well.
They clean up the cabin, and the receptionist briefly blames the previous cleaning crew, but that's all we get in the way of apologies.
We don't get an apology, we don't get a new room, we don't get complimentary nothing. We go to sleep in the same room.
Except me, because I'm angry, shaky and full of adrenaline from having argued with an adult.
Youth Group
GiphyI've worked in the hotel industry for many years in corporate sales.
A few years ago I got a call from a Director of Sales at a hotel who was upset at one of the groups we had booked into her hotel. It was a youth - religious group (read cheap, low-rates, and pretty un-supervised).
Many of these groups like to bring in their own food and coolers and snacks to keep meal costs down. Totally fine.
What's NOT fine is deciding to make grilled cheese sandwiches with the iron & ironing board.
So of course this group checks out on a Sunday, and in check all of the business travelers on Sunday night... and they wake up Monday morning to freshly press their suits & dress shirts for their important business meetings, only to have the irons leave giant iron sized grease stains all over their suits as they get ready to go to a conference or important meetings.
So this hotel not only had to replace over 100 irons & ironing board covers - but comp rooms & pay for dry cleaning (or in some cases reimburse) for a ton of expensive business clothes.
Needless to say, that "youth group" wasn't invited to stay with our hotels ever again.
Adults Who Still Need A Stuffed Animal To Go To Sleep Share Their Experiences
Reddit user Old-Horse1185 asked: '34 percent of adults sleep with a stuffed animal or other sentimental object. Are you one of these people? What do you sleep with?'
Stuffies, plushies, stuffed animals, or plush toys; whatever you might call them, we likely all can remember a fluffy friend we had in our childhood.
But some adults might have carried their childhood friend into adulthood, or even made others along the way, and they might even still go to sleep with them at night, too.
Redditor Old-Horse1185 asked:
"34 percent of adults sleep with a stuffed animal or other sentimental objects."
"Are you one of these people? What do you sleep with?"
The Twin Bond
"My twin sister died when I was 18. Ten years later, I still sleep with her unicorn pillow pet, she gets a nice spot on the bed, and I'd never be with someone who made me feel bad about having it. Only my girlfriend is trusted enough to give pillow pet a bath."
- insomniacinsanity
"My twin brother died when we were seven, and I used to have a specific stuffie that was given to him by an American lady who worked in the hospital he was in, but it got damaged in a house move when I was a teenager and was unsalvageable."
"It was a limited-run stuffie that you could only get in a specific American store in the 90s, so it was basically irreplaceable. My husband, 10+ years later and without letting on, tracked one down and paid a silly amount of money to have it shipped to the UK and gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago."
"I sleep with it every d**n night. I'm mid-30s, and I'll never stop."
- beesandsids
Keeping Them Close
"My partner passed away a few weeks ago, and I now cuddle his shirts that still have his scent. When my son spends the night with his grandparents, I also cuddle w his blanket or the pillow he sleeps on."
- anonmomanonnin
Cuddles and Fidgets
"My grandma made me a pillow when I was born. She sewed the pillow together and the pillow case, which had kittens all over it."
"I’m 33 years now she passed when I was 31, and I sleep with the same pillow in my arms every night."
"The pillow case is worn to bits because I guess I use it as a fidget thing I rub in between my fingers. Yes, I’m weird."
- Valuable_Panda_4228
From the Beyond
"I bought my wife a big stuffed seal for our first Valentine's Day. This seal has a slight green tint to it, so we named him Sealo Green. She had Sealo for a couple of years before she passed away."
"I hug Seal-o every night and pray to my wife, tell her about my day, things coming up, etc. I'll start using her perfume on Sealo soon, so I can smell her while I pray to her. My heart can't take it right now."
- Cubbycupcake-Uther
A Gift from Grandma
"I am one. My grandma gave all the grandkids a cat plush. A cat food brand had a promotion, if you bought enough cat food you'd get a free plushie. With 14 grandkids, a lot of food was bought to get there. Her cats didn't complain though, lol (laughing out loud)."
"I still sleep with it, it's a feeling of comfort, safety, and home."
- DavyJonesLocker2
An Evolving Friendship
"Stuffed dog I've had since my mom was squeezing him while giving birth to me. That dog has seen some s**t."
"He's a 'Sad Sam,' and his eyes used to break my heart when I was a kid, so I buried him under other stuffed animals or made him face the wall so I wouldn't have to look at him."
"Then I felt really guilty because I didn't want him to feel punished when all he wanted was to be loved. So I've been sleeping with him for almost 40 years now."
"I recently bought an original one off eBay to see the comparison and man, I have loved the daylights out of that dog!"
- dumdadumdumAHHH
A Special Bond
"I now sleep with my girlfriend's stuffed bunny she has had since birth. He’s my best friend now! I love you, Bootstin!!"
- silversauce
"Aww, that's awesome. My partner is the only person I've ever been with who didn't make me feel like crap for still having my blanket. When I travel, I leave it with them, and I think they probably cuddle up with it as much as I do after a rough day."
- the_Ozz
Keeping a Partner Close
"Sometimes when I take a nap and my wife doesn't, I'll take her pillow to sleep with because I like the smell."
"It smells like baby powder, vanilla, and her."
- TrailerParkPrepper
Very Considerate
"Huge jellycat bears. I don’t even wanna, but I’m just afraid I’ll hurt their feelings if I don’t."
- CommonAd9606
"As a kid, I routinely slept with a zillion stuffed animals on the bed because I didn’t want any of them to feel left out."
- PumaGranite
"As a kid? I'm 26 and still have to hug them all as I go to sleep or they'll feel left out!"
- Scymber
Lower Back Pain
"I sleep with a body pillow (plain cover). Doctor recommended it a few years ago to help with my lower back pain and it really does help."
- HappyTimeHollis
"I sleep with a body pillow but it's an alligator. My grandparents gave it to me when I was 11 years old. It has a huge open mouth you can put your arm through or use to prop your phone. Had it 24 years. Love it to death."
- smoretank
Full Body Support
"Squishmallows. I have sciatica and they're great for when I go to bed. I put one between my knees at night (side sleeper) and I snuggle up with one."
- Raging_Utahn
Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty
"I'm not one to sleep with plushies, but my cat likes to snuggle up to me and sleep with his fluffy little head on my shoulder."
- imaybeacatIRL
"Cats have to count. My previous cat actually slept as the little spoon, snuggled in my arms."
- disapprovingfox
The Long-Distance Relationship
"I am a guy, I recently got to sleep with a stuffed animal for a week, I won't go into the details as to why or how, just know that I lovvveeeed it. I would get called a weirdo if I confess to this to the world, so I have kept this to myself and my bestie only."
"The stuffed animal was a large teddy bear, since then it has been taken away and now it is placed in the living room, my bedroom has one small stuffed toy that I sleep with, it's not super large and not as comfortable as the teddy but it works."
"It makes me feel good and less alone, the closest person in the world to me is 700km away, what I'm about to say is weird but hugging the teddy and pretending it's her makes me calm and makes me want to sleep."
- uninformed-but-smart
Build a Friend... with IKEA
"Ikea Hippo, Ikea Elephant. The Ikea bigs are the superior sleep companion. I also have the shark, but he is not right for my shoulder when cuddling so he guards."
- pm-me-neckbeards
"I also keep my Ikea shark on guard at night! The Ikea octopus is the guard when I sleep at my boyfriend’s house."
- jeff-buckleys-teeth
A Comfort Become Real
"When I was a toddler, I got a stuffed animal as a present from my uncle. It was a light brown rabbit with button eyes and ears with rainbow stripes on the inside. I'm unsure of when I got it, but I was either one to two years old or four years old."
"I don't know how or why, but it had a distinct scent, not particularly noticeable unless you shoved your face in its fur, like I did, haha. As I grew up, I needed to have this rabbit with me or I would not be able to sleep. I remember this one time when I couldn't find it in time for bed, and I was so distressed trying to fall asleep that I started hallucinating."
"Over time she lost an eye, her ears became frayed, her fur fell out in patches, and she looks like a well-loved creature (because she is) or hot garbage, depending on who you ask."
" Even in my rebellious teen years, I couldn't pretend to dislike her because the scent and texture of her fur gave me a feeling of comfort and safety, even when it felt like everyone was against me."
"I live by myself now at age 34 and you better believe I still keep her in my bed. The scent is gone but sometimes I can trick my brain into thinking it's still there, and when I touch the texture of her fur, I will still get a wave of comfort and reassurance the same way I did as a child."
"It's amazing not only how humans will bond with anything, but also the effect these things will have on a person."
"This got sappy, my apologies."
"PS: Her name is Ninni."
- Mwuuh
"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'"
"I'm reminded of this quote from 'The Velveteen Rabbit.'"
- tinycole2971
While everyone might feel a little silly about their sleeping arrangements, most of those who still sleep with a cuddly friend have spent a great deal of their life with their companion already.
From sentimental reasons to physical needs, everyone needs comforted from time to time, and there's nothing quite like the unconditional love of a favorite stuffie friend.
Working remotely from home certainly has its advantages, including not having to endure traffic and deal with coworker drama.
But many people found that during the pandemic, the isolation of working from home left little to be desired.
People who have jobs requiring them to commute every day and arrive at the workplace are given the opportunity to be social and feel like they're a part of society.
But being a part of a work environment can come with its own unique occupational hazards.
Curious to hear from strangers in the workforce, Redditor AMGBOI69420 asked:
"What’s the most f'ked up thing you’ve seen at work?"
People in medical professions draw on their endless list of shocking events.
The Crazy Patient
"I was sorting all the psych patients that were hospitalized in my state, and got to this guy: a teenager or maybe a bit older, and he got sent to the ward because he suddenly got aggressive and started to have some episodes that he squirmed in pain/took off his clothes and things like that. Before being hospitalized he was complaining about these things, but nothing the medics did was working and nothing wrong was found, so it should be a psychiatric issue, no?"
"Wrong, he was put in the ward for 2 or so years and lost a lot of his life, being considered insane, because he developed a rare spinal cancer that was hard to detect and caused him extreme pain. Really f'ked up, I don't remember what happened to him afterward, but I not really optimistic that it had an happy ending."
– vtomal
The First Aid Officer Who Couldn't Unsee These
"I was a first aid officer in a corporate job."
"Elderly pedestrian hit by a car in our car park: compound tib fib fracture that tore through her calf muscle"
"Deep laceration with arterial bleeding after some idiot from another department tripped and dropped a metal first aid down a flight of stairs during a fire drill."
– W2ttsy
Patient Left Against Medical Advice
"Patient comes in to the ER, gets full sepsis workup. His chemistries are all f'ked up, he required a manual white cell count because his was so high the analyzer basically said 'WTF?!', his urine was full of white cells and bacteria. You know, your classic 'old person UTI that's gone septic.' We figure he's going to be admitted. Nope, they send him home. Mind you, this was not a case of 'patient left AMA (against medical advice),' this was just the doctor said 'Yeah, seems like you've got a UTI. Go home and drink some cranberry juice.'"
"Two days later, the same patient comes in, with the same complaint. Gets the same blood and urine tests. While I'm doing the manual white cell count, the phone rings. It's the reference lab down the street. The blood cultures on the patient I'm currently working on from two days prior have come up positive. I take the notification and call the ER to let them know. Us labbies figure he's going to be admitted for sure this time. Come to find out, they sent him home again. (Again, not an AMA, a 'Go home and drink some cranberry juice.')"
– coffeeblossom
Those in customer service share their shocking eye-witness accounts.
Trailblazer
"I worked at one of the busiest Walmarts in the country during Spring Break for 6 years... I wouldn't even know where to begin."
"I guess the drunk lady leaving the bathroom with her pants around her ankles while actively sh*tting as she walked across the front of the building and back outside into the wild."
"None of the workers wanted to deal with it so they parked a shopping cart over each turd until the cleaning crew came in."
– UncleGrako
Slimy Salespeople
"Worked at a Nissan dealership where most salespeople where slimy POS. One senior citizen with a veteran ballcap was working on a deal for a car for his grandkid. Nice old guy got tired and fell asleep in the chair waiting for the salesguy to work out the deal with the sales managers. One of the managers from the bullpen walks by and farts right in the sleeping old mans face then runs back to the bullpen where everyone was watching and laughing. It was disgusting, I told the sales guy who I knew was a Iraq vet. He went to the bull pen and screamed in the face of every single one of those f'kers. He screamed so much at them I thought he was gonna pass out."
– adrielago
Work environments can be extremely dangerous.
"Once saw someone step into a bucket of hot fryer oil, it got into their shoes and everything. Was so bad that when they took the shoe off it peeled of skin with it. The person had 2nd and I believe 3rd degree burns. He never came back but I saw the pictures and it was horrific."
– Mrlionscruff
"I worked at a printing manufacturer and saw something like this happen in person, the guy had his right arm shredded. The wrench in his other hand stopping the machine is the only reason he didn't go all the way through. Later that month a 2400lbs paper roll was dropped on a coworker in front of me. I'm glad to be out of that job."
– Beullersghost
Threatening The Employee
"I worked at a Goodwill for a few years, we had lots of drug addicts trying to shoot up in the changing room and had an occasional OD."
"But the most shocking thing I experienced was the amount of times people physically threatened or attacked me or my co-workers when we refused their donations. Getting in our faces and trying to push us around, one guy tried to hit someone with a car. Another one threw a picture frame that narrowly missed smashing my supervisor's head, another threw such a temper tantrum that he smashed an entire set of chairs and a kitchen table."
"There was also someone who called the police because we changed the prices on soft-cover books."
– carefulwithyrbananas
T.M.I.
"Saw one guy drop dead (office job)"
"One get an arm cut off (Pulp mill)"
"One get de-gloved (Paper mill)"
"But the winner was the day we walked into work at an auto parts store and found the assistant manager f'king another assistant manager. Just going at it."
– Bigdaddyjlove1
Mechanical Nightmare
"Box cutting job saw a guy die after losing his arm to the machine. I still to this day dont know how my room mate at the time kept going to work for another few weeks before quitting."
"We'd go to work stoned off our a**es everyday. And seeing that guy die was a nope for me. I knew it was far to easy for the same mistake to happen to me stoned. Wasn't gonna get sucked in and die for 15 bucks an hr."
"Any heavy machinery related jobs since Ive made sure to ask about work related accidents and how common they are along with when the last one happened."
– idontneedjug
When I was a parade performer at certain theme park, we performed on a day when it was reportedly record-breaking heat, and some of my fellow performers who were dancing atop a couple of the floats collapsed and passed out from heat stroke in view of guests.
It was the scariest thing to see several paramedics bursting onto the scene and taking these unconscious young performers being carried away in stretchers.
Since then, the park instituted a code-90 protocol where the choreography was modified whenever the temperature hit 90 degrees.
Be it desperation, self-indulgence, or simply optimism, many people never leave home without a condom.
If the chances of "getting lucky" are much more likely at some places than others, one never knows where or when they might hit it off with someone.
Including a funeral.
Bizarre and tasteless as that sounds, a recent study reportedly showed that 1 in 8 men under the age of 35 do, in fact, bring condoms with them when attending a funeral, "just in case".
Whether or not these condoms were used, however, is another story entirely.
"After a recent study found 1 in 8 men under 35 admit to taking condoms to funerals "just in case", what's your experience with this?"
Select Crowd...
"I went to my grandma's funeral and hit it off with this hot nurse."
"Things were going great until my brother pulled me aside and said it was my second cousin."
'You know who shows up at funerals for old people? "
"Family members."- bumblef**kglobal
"I remember seeing a really hot chick at my grandmother's funeral."
"Immediately thought was I should chat her up."
"Then my brain went to, 'What if she's family and we just never met?'"
"I just went back to mourning."- VideoGameDana
Okay then...
"Once I was dating a girl whose dad absolutely forbid us from dating."
"Like, would lock his daughter in her room and take her phone to make sure we did not communicate."
"She told me when we spoke for a moment at Starbucks that she would date me if her dad was out of the picture."
"He died is a car crash on the freeway, and since her mom liked me invited me to the funeral."
"My girl and I sat next to each other at the funeral and couldn't wait, got it on in the parking lot of the funeral home."
"Condom was necessary."- crunchysquare
car studio GIF by ZI ItalyGiphyNever The Funeral, Always The Wake
"Ngl, some of the best parties I’ve been to have been wakes."
"In no way disrespectful, they were a celebration of the person’s life and also a massive tension release after grimness of the funeral itself."
"So I’m not surprised some people take a condom just in case."
"I’ve never done it, but I didn’t often expect to get laid regardless of situation."- Goryokaku
Oops...
"Proudly in the 7 out of 8 camp."
"But the 1 in 8 aren’t wrong."
"Heard through the family grapevine that one of my female cousins met a dude at a funeral and they banged it out the same night."
"Also turns out they were related (what’re the odds at the funeral of a relative? )."
"Distant enough they would never see each other again (different branches of her family), close enough that their family photo albums have overlapping people."- ESQBOJaguar
If You Really Think About It...
"Biologically speaking mourning/death triggers mating instincts as though that death tells the lizard brain in us that we need to procreate because death is scary."
"Scum'ically speaking, funerals typically leave people especially women in a state of fragility that leaves them vulnerable to suggestion and coercion."
"Socially speaking, some people, both men and women, seek comfort and company after/during a mourning period and when two people engage in comforting each other emotionally through a death it can trigger chemicals in the brain that cause the idea of connection or chemistry which can inevitably lead to copulation."- KURO-K1SH1
Season 18 Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyBetter Safe Than Sorry!
"If you forget to bring a condom you increase the chance of casual sex with 10.000%."
"It’s a well-known fact."- Mukkeman
Not Just Men...
"I'm not a man and I've taken condoms 'just in case' pretty much anywhere."
"I've told folks to take condoms 'just in case' to a festival who I was sure would never have a one night stand and who I had never even seen mingle with any man/woman."
"It's a safety."
"The thing costs less than a dollar, but if anything somehow would happen, not having it could cost you your healthiness or independence/freedom due to a child being your new responsibility."
"Unless you absolutely, 100% am sure you will not be having sex that day, and no one will be able to change your mind - carry a condom."
"And having visited a funeral is likely not impactful enough to everyone to make them absolutely sure of that."-deterministic_lynx
It Is, Indeed, A Source Of Comfort...
"I'm a woman, but I'm going to point out that grief affects everyone differently."
"Some people get an intense need for sex when they are grieving, I speak from experience here."
"Perhaps they're carrying them everywhere already, but choosing to take some specifically to a funeral makes perfect sense to me."- Sexy-Snowflake
"My bf's son died, and his sex drive was significantly higher around that time period, I think it's just a way men deal with stress."- Arielxxxlee
"There is no 'wrong' way to grieve."- Noctudeit
Sexy Ava Gardner GIF by Turner Classic MoviesGiphyAlways Listen To Your Mother...
"When I turned 15 my mom told me to always have a condom in my wallet just in case."
"That was before people realized it was really bad to keep it in your wallet."
"So yeah I’ve been pretty much everywhere with one 'just in case'."- euphoria110
If It's Already There, Why Take It Out?
"I do too."
"I'm not going to remove the random condom that is in my wallet just because I'm going to a funeral."
"Not that I ever needed one, I'm still a virgin BTW."- azarbi
When One Life Ends, Another Begins...
"I’ve heard that the proximity of death increases the desire to make new life."
"Anecdotally, my FIL and MIL met at a funeral and 9 months later my husband was born."- KerouacsGirlfriend
Lionel Messi Hug GIF by FC BarcelonaGiphyNot SPECIFICALLY Funerals...
"We bring condoms everywhere, 'just in case', not only the funeral, you silly!"- WeetIkVeelNL
No one should be judged if they happen to have a condom with them when attending a funeral.
After all, should the moment arise, better to be prepared and safe.
On the other hand, if any of these people are attending the funeral with the intention of "getting lucky", that's just... yeah...
The Best Real-Life Examples Of 'Never Interrupt An Enemy While They're Making A Mistake'
People will trip themselves up eventually.
Because liars and lunatics always make mistakes.
They may be small mistakes, but they leave just enough room to expose their wicked ways.
Sure we all want to fight off an enemy and be the victor.
But sometimes the victor's greatest weapon is nothing but a little patience.
Then, we celebrate with a smile as we watch the crumble.
And maybe we have a little victory dance.
Redditor Spinksy48 wanted to understand the fun of letting your opponent lose by just doing nothing, so they asked:
"What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake' moment?"
If the story starts to get really crazy, just wait for a break.
Then ask a question from the beginning.
I guarantee you know more of the lie than they do.
Just keep talking, friend.
Gotcha
Dashcam Hello GIF by TranscendGiphy"I let the lady who changed lanes into me run her mouth about how I rear-ended her before pulling the cop aside to show him my DashCam footage."
ThrowingChicken
A Cherry Wave
"I was accused by a neighbor of reversing out of my drive and hitting his car. He gave me the date and time I had allegedly done it and pointed to a (small) scrape on my car that supposedly matched perfectly the location of the dent on his. This was 7 weeks after the alleged event, by the way."
"I said it wasn't me but told him to contact his insurance and we'd see what they said. A few weeks later I get a letter from my insurance asking what had happened, to which I responded with the date I had bought my car (and updated my insurance) - two weeks after the supposed bump."
"He never spoke to me again but I used to give him a cheery wave every time I saw him glowering at his window."
Gazcobain
Speak Once
"In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS, she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do."
"I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, and she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself. She got sacked this month."
choiaera
We Hated Each Other
"Guy stole a presentation from me, this is 25 years ago. We hated each other. When he started presenting I realized I had made a huge error, didn’t say anything. Let him get through it. Asked him about the error, but he couldn’t answer. This was in front of COO. Got fired, not for just that, he was an overall douche. This was before everyone was on PCs, and had one printer in one room."
Bmilvis
Whoops
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When a coworker who I hated got fired a few weeks after I decided to stop fixing his mistakes even if it impacted a client."
Hrekires
It's always thrilling to see the bad colleagues go!
Bye. Bye. Bye.
I will see you on the 15th
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Not my story, but several years ago my older brother was fighting for custody of his son with his ex-wife. As the first custody hearing date approached, they were exchanging [un]pleasantries over text and my brother ended up saying something along the lines of, 'I'm not continuing this conversation. I will see you on the 15th.' The ex-wife told him, 'The hearing is on the 25th dumba**.'"
"So of course instead of correcting her, my brother just allowed her to keep thinking it was the wrong date, and she missed the first hearing entirely. It became the first of many mistakes she made in the court system that eventually led to my brother and the woman who is now his second wife winning full custody of his son."
Damn_Furries
Follow the Prints
"I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints."
"I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up."
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
No Debt
"As I was being fired from a job, the district manager requested we record the conversation. He thought I was gonna be very upset, so I obliged. Then when he started to tell me why I was being fired he started with, 'You are gonna be graduating college soon, and we want to make sure we get ahead of you leaving us.'"
"I very calmly asked him to send me the recording right after he said that. Then later that day I called a lawyer. I now have no student loan debt."
JRTHEAMAZING
The Screams
"I reminded my ex-wife the divorce court was the next day and was invited to Get F**ked. So I went by myself, she failed to appear and pissed off the Judge so he asked what would be my desired outcome for assets and Custody of the kids. He wrote down whatever I wanted and I could hear her screams when she read the Orders from 3500km away."
comfortablynumb15
Silence
"There's a thing in law enforcement/legalese called a spontaneous utterance. Many many people will bury their own cases with these while bi*ching and moaning at their arresting officer on the way to jail."
raccoonsonbicycles
That last one is good knowledge to have in the back pocket.