Dire Warnings From Parents That Turned Out To Be Total BS
Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash

Parents just don't understand.

Sometimes they make arbitrary rules and back them up with wild consequences if you cross the line.

And for the first formative decades, we buy it.

It's not kids faults, initially.

But in hindsight... wow parents get creative with lies.


Everyone start to compare parental notes when Redditor Get-off-my-wave asked everyone:

"What dire warning from your parents turned out to be BS?"

Not going to sleep or Santa will skip me. Touché mother. Touché

Ruins

nicksplat doug GIFGiphy

"If you get in trouble at school it will go on your PERMANENT RECORD and ruin your life."

"Not once has anyone, from college admissions to prospective employers to loan officers, so much as mentioned the legendary PERMANENT RECORD."

SuzQP

Born this Way

"I was born left-handed. My pops used to smack me if I used my left had, in essence forcing me to be right-handed. I had to constantly remind myself to use the hand with my birthmark to avoid smacks. As an adult I asked my pops why he forced me to be right-handed and he gave some tepid response about 'when you're left handed you'll have a tendency to pull that way when you're driving exposing you to oncoming traffic.'"

"Sounded like bullsh** to me, and is confirmed by all the left hand driver is the world that don't spontaneously drive into oncoming traffic. If anyone has any ideas I'd love to know. For reference, my pops is an old school Vietnamese dude. I feel like it's a cultural thing, but I was raised American and have no freaking idea."

negative_space_

Not the Red

"When you press the red button with the triangle in the car all the doors fall off."

ionedann

"When teaching the class how to use the classroom computer, my 1st grade teacher told us all that if we clicked the trash can icon on the desktop, it would make the computer explode and we would get in a lot of trouble."

Salsa__Stark

"I'm so using this. I laughed so hard at this mental image."

livinonnosleep

Keep Writing

"I would be unemployable if I didn't learn cursive handwriting. Parents and teachers made me think that every job interview would have a cursive test in which they would measure the loops on the L's or something."

Mr_Saturn1

"Seriously have never once used cursive since like taking the ACT."

Magnaha23

"It was on the ACT? Weird. My public schooling spanned the 2000s, so we were forced to learn cursive in 3rd grade, got told it was the way of the world, then started learning to type in class instead starting the next year."

"In other news, I always got told that cursive was the faster way to write... But it always took me like 4x as long to write in cursive."

kicker1015

Extremes

advice preach GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy

"That my two choices in life were either Harvard or McDonald's. Sheesh. Bit of a gray area in between those two extremes."

ChicagoFaucet

What about Burger King? Wendy's Think bigger...

Um... What?

Interested Saturday Night Live GIF by HULUGiphy

"'If you unscrew your belly button your bum will fall off.'"

"I did my best to avoid screwdrivers for a large part of my childhood because I lacked the will power not to stuff them into my belly button. I was terrified at the thought of losing my bum but intrigued by the possibility."

butts_and_whatnot

Explosions

"That if I used one brand of shampoo and a different brand of conditioner that my hair would fall out. Also when I was five or six I asked what would happen if you went the opposite way that you turned the turn signal, my mom told me the car would explode and kill us. Not sure why she told me that crap."

REDDIT

Ramen Away

"My mom warned me as a kid that eating the loose pieces of dried ramen from the pack would make me deathly ill."

"I kept doing it with no problems. One day she said that in front of my dad when I was a teen and he just gave her this 'wtf are you talking about' look."

allthecagesinthezoo

"I was told it would give you worms."

dorothysideeye

'Real World'

"My ex-stepdad owned a restaurant where I worked as a busboy when I was a teenager. He was always very tough on me, berating my work, etc. While telling me that he was going easy on me and when I got a job in the 'Real World' (his favorite phrase) my bosses would be so much tougher on me."

"I quit a month before my 16th birthday and went to work at the local dairy queen and found out he was full of sh*t. My mom left him shortly after that, thankfully."

Kirdei

When you Gotta Go

Dumb And Dumber Reaction GIFGiphy

"'We can't pay $1 to go in the haunted house because they might not have a bathroom in there. What if you have to go to the bathroom?'"

"'Just admit you're cheap, Dad.'"

King_F**kface

Wow. Parents really do a number on kids.