Bisexuals have the opportunity to experience a relationship with both genders and all of their differences. These bisexuals reveal with it's like dating both men and women and the differences they notice between the two.
u/cruelcherry asks:
Bisexuals who have been in relationships with both genders: what are some noticeable differences between dating a man and a woman?
The approach is a bit different for some
GiphyThere's actually a noticeable difference on how I approach the relationship. When I'm with men I like being taken care of, but I like being more dominant in with women, I'll do all the things I'd want a man to do for me.
Privacy with same sex is lessened
GiphyIt's a little weird on a date with a woman that you use the same bathroom. You don't get that moment to yourself and there's no privacy.
You know a lot more with the same sex
GiphyI keep seeing a reoccurring theme here. Girls think sex with girls is better, and guys think sex with guys is better. Possibly because you have the same anatomy and know what feels good?
When it comes to conflict...
GiphyIn arguments alone: Women are explosive, but more pleasant in the day-to-day. Men tend to backslide into a quiet agony that never gets resolved.
Men are a slower flower
GiphyMore individual difference than gender difference.
But if there is one it's communication style. Men take a lot longer to open up. And I'd say most men are less thoughtful about many things (like keeping track of important things happening in your life and giving support through them) although my personal experience there with the only man I've seriously dated has been stellar.
The assumptions
GiphyHow it's received by the general public. When I'm out one on one with a man, it's second nature to assume he is my significant other in situations such as having a dinner date or a weekend away at a hotel. That's not the case when I'm with a woman. In particular, my current girlfriend looks somewhat similar to me. We're both petite blondes. When we are out together, the first assumption is that we're sisters or best friends. We have to make a point to explain that we're together. It doesn't bother me, as most people genuinely just don't know and assume what's second nature to them. It's just an observation.
The added bro vibe
GiphyThe biggest difference for me, as a guy, Is that there is a different level of friendship with a guy than a girl. With my current bf, it's like I'm hanging out with my best bro, at the same time as spending time with the person I love. We do everything together and I never really want time away.
My last ex, a girl, was great to spend time with, but there was a level of understanding and friendship that wasn't there purely because she was a girl. She could never understand certain things that a guy just gets. That shared understanding of experience that guys have. I'm sure girls have the same thing with other girls.
That was longer than I expected, but that's the biggest difference I have.
Certain things are not as hard
GiphyOne of them is WAY more comfortable buying tampons than the other.
The way they take Bisexuality is different
GiphyI've only dated gay guys and straight girls. For me the biggest difference has been that girls have in general been a lot more understanding of my sexuality and the guys have been a lot more biphobic/dismissive about it
When personality is everything
GiphyHonestly for me, I tend to be attracted to a similar type of personality regardless of gender, and that includes a lack of interest in conforming to gender roles, so in terms of internal relationship dynamics there hasn't been an easy-to-parse difference my ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends along gender lines.
Lesbian bed death
GiphySex. Was constantly being pursued to have sex while dating a man. Now sex is rarely had. If at all.
One was easier to get over
Giphywith women, i always get emotional,..in a complete mess after breaking up. but men, i got over them..before the break up.
women--i think about them often when not together.
men--we were always doing activities together.
Battle of the crazies
GiphyEveryone's giving normal scenarios, so I wanna bring up worst case. The 'crazy guy' is genuinely f****** insane, while the 'crazy girl' is a funny kind of insane. Like, craziest guy was a guy who gave me a necklace that he put his blood on to protect me from the secret powers of his alternate personality, and still tries to low key stalk me on social media, while the craziest girl is probably a tie between the super religious girl who cried when I ate meat and the ultra communist who told me she loved me within like an hour.
big differences
Giphyhis is from personal experience, so it could be personalities more than gender.
1- Carrying the emotional weight and mental load of the relationship. With women, it's more balanced. With men the expectation fell to me.
2-Additionally, maintaining a household is more balanced with women. With a man, there are stereotypical gender-role expectations.
- The 7 Fascinating Differences Between How Men And Women Fall ... ›
- The 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man - JustMyTypeMag ›
- Dinner Date - Men vs Women thinking - YouTube ›
- Dating Men vs. Women: Here's How It's Different (Beyond Sex ... ›
- Online Dating: Men Don't Get It And Women Don't Understand ›
- Bisexuals talk about the differences between dating men and women ›
- Bi-sexuals reveal differences between dating men and women ... ›
- Bisexual Women On Differences Between Guys & Girls ›
- Is Online Dating Different for Men and Women? ›
- What are the biggest differences between dating men and women ... ›
- The Real Difference Between Men And Women When It Comes To ... ›
- The big difference between dating men and women according to ... ›
- Bisexuals Describe Differences Of Dating Guys And Girls ›
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from strangers online who never saw themselves in their current positions in life, Redditor graces-taylor12 asked:
"What about becoming an adult caught you completely off guard?"
The following Redditors were not ready to process the inevitable when it came to their parents.
A Role Reversal
"Watching your parents becoming old and frail."
– Mrbusybaconandeggs
"Dealing with this yesterday and it is an eye-opener. Its hard seeing someone you’ve known as a pillar of strength for 30+ years in a position of such weakness, and knowing that he might improve but generally the decline is coming."
– Rook1872
Age-Defying
"I've had a weird atypical experience. My dad was pretty old when I was born and always had a bad knee he could never afford to get fixed. He could barely walk and has never been able to run since I could remember. It got so bad that he couldn't even walk up or down the stairs in our house."
"Well he eventually got a knee replacement and he's now more agile at 73 than he was at 53. It's weird to see."
– Downtown_Skill
Sad Epiphany
"I'll never forget when I first realized how frail they actually were. I went over to their house to help out with some chores, and they couldn't even clean out any of the pens by themselves. They ended up selling most of their animals that year because they couldn't look after them."
– thecanadiancowboy
Life Can Be Cruel
"It’s slowly beginning with my parents, small hints here and there, they’re in their mid 50s.The big freak out for me has been watching my grandparents slowly declining over the last 3ish years. One set of grandparents have been gone since I was a kid, so these two are all I’ve got now. My Pap’s arthritis and sciatica is to the point now where it’s a process for him just to stand up. 2020 I saved him from a fall, if I wasn’t there to catch him, he would’ve easily been in the hospital for quite a while. That was the first 'Oh sh*t, he’s not immortal' moment."
– NoinePiecesOfVinyl
These Redditors discovered older doesn't always mean wiser.
Wake-Up Call
"I can do whatever the f'k I want. But I don't really want to do anything..."
– IcarusWax
"Yup, the idea of doing whatever you want as an adult was the biggest scam cartoons sold us."
"Yeah, you can do anything you want but you're gonna need money. So you get a job, there goes most of your day to your job."
"So now you have money but that'll go to bills first and by the time you can do what you want you don't have the energy or funds. Then the loop continues.."
– JimmyJackJericho
Fake It Til You Make It
"How clueless other adults are. I really thought adults had their sh*t in order while in reality most people are winging it."
–= xepci0
"Maturity is a skill. Some people learn it quickly. Others never do."
"Children are limited by their youth. Their brains aren't fully developed. But adults are not guaranteed to get more mature without working for it."
"Some people never grow up. They just get old."
– snapwillow
Being Independent
"I'm surprised by the amount of people who genuinely couldn't live by themselves if they had to. They somehow never learned basic life skills like simple cooking or cleaning and always had someone else to do it for them."
– CliffExcellent123
People became more aware of time.
Not Enough Me Time
"How little free time you have. You have to work, you have to prepare for work, drive to work, drive home from work. You also have to do household chores. You have to take care of kids if you have some. When do I get to enjoy my hobbies?"
– lllSnowmanlll
Point Of Exhaustion
"Most of the time I'm so tired from the day, I just don't have the mental capacity to do anything but go right to bed and watch tv ;_;"
– WitherWithout
Never Going Back
"Transitioning from college student + part time worker to full time worker I gained a bunch of time back. I was shocked that I could just decide to do laundry tomorrow if I didn't feel like it. Every evening I had this huge chunk of time that was just open."
"But then, moving from an apartment to a house, now there's a bunch more chores to do. Then introducing kids, now there's all that. But still, I wouldn't go back to the hectic college life."
– civilwarcorpses
Marking Time
"How it just goes on endlessly."
"When you're a kid, there's a summer break every year, and a new school to go to in a couple of years. Whatever part of your life you are in is clearly delimited and there is something new to look forward to after it."
"Once you're an adult, it's just 5 days of work and 2 days of weekend over and over and over until you die."
– Suitable_Mistake2208
After having a decent, long run in the entertainment business as a dancer, I've long held the belief I was invincible.
I was physically stronger, more agile, and foolish enough to think I could perpetually live in such a state.
All of a sudden, reality smacked me in the face one morning when I woke up and heard and felt various parts of my body crackle and pop like when milk hits a bowl of Rice Krispies.
My tired body had the audacity to inform me:
"Not today and from this day forward."
We're currently not on speaking terms.
