People Divulge Why The Devil Would Want To Shake Their Hand After They Die And Go To Hell

People Divulge Why The Devil Would Want To Shake Their Hand After They Die And Go To Hell
Image by Waldkunst from Pixabay

Ending up in Hell would be one thing, but discovering that the Devil is a huge fan of yours would be a whole extra layer of horror.


But that's what a recent Redditor asked people to imagine: what petty, sinful thing would earn you a #1 fan in Satan.

Here's hoping your answer to that question leans more toward petty than immoral.

Redditor Ok-Reaction-5644 asked:

"Satan shakes your hand and says 'I'm glad I finally got to meet you,' what did you do?"

Many people divulged their part in the very incredible annoyances of modern life, particularly life on the internet.

The Horror

"I created mobile ads with transparent close button....." -- voliver016

"Oh god. And let me guess, the company's logo looks like an X. like it's called X Games or something. So you accidentally tap on that when looking for the close button." -- fernshanks

Hooked Us All

"invented micro transactions in video games" -- Day61298

"Satan: So, I'm thinking about retiring and you seem just the person for the job...." -- Logan3point14

"Move over Hitler. Move over slavers. Move over Ajit Pai. We have a new champion of hell." -- Andrakisjl

That Was One Guy??

"i invented popup ads and the thing that makes you disable ad blocker before you can visit a website" -- thetapiryourodeinon

"I feel like Satan would punch you in the face, not shake your hand. All like 'This MFer is out of control' " -- Shinbiku

Others talked about the cartoonishly terrible things they did. In hindsight, they wondered how they ever could have done what they did.

But at the time, it just made sense.

Case Closed

"oh definitely that time i kicked a child," -- Domesticgay_

​Saboteur 

"Christmas time. Shopping mall car parks are chaos. I'll be walking through the car park with bags off Shopping and see people in cars looking for people about to leave..."

"...I stop, look at a car, put my bags down pull my keys out, someone in their car sees me and indicates to my direction to claim the park. I pick my bags up and keep walking."

-- Intellect-Offswitch

And some took the question as a perfect opportunity to get snarky about he prospect of ending up in Hell.

The Chain Mail Was REAL

"Did not forward that email I received in 2008 saying that If I did not, I would go to hell." -- peidinho31

" 'IF YOU DO NOT SEND THIS TO 20 PEOPLE IN 5 MINUTES LITTLE TIMMY WILL CRAWL OUT OF THE SINK AND EAT YOUR EYEBALLS' " -- Ak_Jumper_942

Some Old-Fashioned Humor

"Persuaded my dead mother-in-law to move out of hell." -- Antigravfraggle

"I've spent years looking for my mother-in-law's killer. But nobody will do it." -- elee0228

"Thanks satan, now she's haunting and possessing people on earth again." -- Gurbwat

Lead With Compliments

" 'Me too! I can't believe you're even MORE attractive than your profile pic!' " -- PM_ME_YOUR_CUTE_PU**

"Please, call me twenty twenty" -- punkhobo

The Better Choice

"Ehh... there's a Stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell and I sure as hell don't feel like climbing any stairs." -- dusty-kat

"fires up his motorcycle" -- thearmouredcake

"Why clib stairs when you can go down lil nas x's strip pol" -- LilacForgetMeNot

If Hell is real, we hope none of you end up there. But we sure hope you have a hell of a story if you do!

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People Break Down The Most Beautiful Places To Visit In The United States
Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash

America the beautiful.

So much to see. So much to experience.

Just because we don't have exotic oceans and ancient history doesn't mean there isn't majesty to take in.

There are many vacations to put together.

And now we don't have to use a paper map to plan.

Our apps and GPS have it all planned out.

Redditor driedkitten wanted to compare notes about the greatest ways to see the USA, so they asked:

"Where is the most beautiful place in the United States?"

So far the cliffs of California is my favorite part of the US.

The Falls

niagara falls GIFGiphy

"Subjective of course, but Crater Lake is certainly a sight to behold."

KaboodleMoon

"My home state of Oregon is full of beautiful places, South Umpqua falls, Illinois River, and Multnomah falls. Are some favorites."

jlp120145

Oh Hoh...

"A tie for Acadia, Hoh rainforest, and Rainier in the fall."

ParkLaineNext

"I was going to say Acadia. It's very underrated for some reason. My mom's friend by coincidence ended up being my English professor in college and we went on a trip to see family in ME. We stopped at Acadia for a day and she said it reminded her a lot of her visit to Greece."

NunChuckNorris007

"Hoh rainforest is absolutely devastatingly beautiful. Hiked the whole Hoh river trail when I was 17 and it's still near the top of the list for my favorite things I've ever done."

Hal9000_Red_Eye

In Awe

"Glacier national park. I was continuously in awe that the place was real life."

StrebLab

"The vistas of this road, on a motorcycle, were beyond breathtaking to experience. Would 100% do it again. Being on a bike allowed for stops at the waterfalls where there was no room for vehicles to pull over, and the views from the tunnels under the road were supernatural."

tastygrrrl

The Road Ahead

"There is a stretch of the Navajo reservation where there is no cell service, AM or FM radio reception. The road stretches before you for miles surrounded by red rocks touching blue sky. The buzzing undercurrent of modern connectivity fades away and your brain can be truly still."

tulleandtiaras42

"We did a little unscheduled off-roading in that area when we came to a road closed barrier. A Navajo couple pulled up alongside us while we pondered the dirt road heading roughly in the direction we wanted to go and assured us it was passable. Really lonely place... but wonderful."

KaleidoscopeWeird310

On a Clear Day

Mountain GIF by Sunshine VillageGiphy

"Mount Rainier."

WWDB

"If I stand right at the doorjamb of my front door on a clear day, I have a beautiful view. I owned this house for 15 years before I figured that out. You can't see it from any other position in the doorway, or if you're outside."

Wise_Ad_4816

Mountains are hot. That is all.

See the Country

Happy Dance GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy

"Depends on what you’re looking for. The United States is a big place."

"For me - Hawaii is hard to beat."

Own-Willingness-3935

Beautiful scenery...

"Zion National Park is the most well-known place in Utah. But my entire state is an outdoorsman's paradise. LOTs of beautiful scenery in both the northern and southern parts of the state."

nekor18670

"Totally!!! And it’s very different. I personally prefer Southern Utah because the red rocks make me feel like I’m on Mars. But I grew up in the salt lake valley, so the mountains lost a lot of their majesty. But if I’m being honest, I miss them terribly."

Bye-sexual-band-n3rd

Smell the old growth

"I’m incredibly biased, but the most beautiful place is the California redwoods. Drive up 101, and then detour towards Petrolia. There is absolutely nothing like it. Roll down your windows and drive 35mph. Smell the old growth. Stop at the pull out. Take a small hike. It’s worth it."

Altril2010

"Yes, 100%. My brother lives in McKinleyville and I am going to see him the end of April. Can't wait. It's my happy place. They are like the Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls... you have to see them to believe them. Those redwoods are something else!"

strongy78

Utopia

"Yosemite! You drive thru the tunnel and come out the other side. Looks like heaven/Utopia."

Socalrdb

"Did a hike in Yosemite on January 1 last year. A spectacular way to start the year. I had seen photos of it, seen it in movies, watched countless videos on Youtube about it but -nothing- prepares you for the sight of El Cap as you turn that corner. I was very nearly moved to tears."

ThrustersToFull

Amazing

Episode 1 Boat GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

"The Shenandoah Valley. Its an amazing place if you're an outdoorsman. Hiking, fishing, hunting, bird watching, camping."

homoco4396

All the wonders of the world. I may have to check all of these out.

What did we miss? Let us know in the comments below.

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