Not everyone is blessed with a full set of brains. Well, at least as far as we know. The brain is still such a mysterious part of the body, so we aren't actually aware of what is being used and what could be used.
But we do know a lot is being neglected. We all have a friend, or six, who may not be the brightest of the bunch and truthfully, some of us may be that friend.
But everyone has some smarts no matter what, and every once and a while those moments of mental clarity shine through and surprise everyone.
Redditor u/lord-stryker117 wanted to hear about that one friend who, God bless their heart, surprised everyone with a moment of unexpected smarts by asking:
Think of the smartest person you know, what is the dumbest thing they've ever done?
The truth is everybody's brain houses random facts. We can all retain tons of information that others cannot. And it just so happens all that info leaks eventually.
Potato-Potatoe
potato GIF
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"My friend has a master's degree in mechanical engineering and robotics. He once made a potato salad with raw potatoes because he thought, since it's a salad, you're not supposed to cook it."
- massi95
PHD in Chem
"Guy with a PhD in chemistry. Had a problem with electric furnace, it kept switching off the circuit breakers. So he was told by someone to stick a wooden splinter in it to keep the switch up, but it was too weak and the gap in the breaker too narrow. So he took some strip of metal instead... Well, he still lives but he said he almost pooped himself."
- Ziriath
Ingredients
"I have a friend who did something. He is/was overweight and on a diet. We stopped at some place to get lunch, he gets a side of pea salad. (Same as potato salad, tuna salad, chicken salad. One main ingredient with a crap ton of mayo and some cheese.)"
"I say, hey bro… What happened to your diet? He said, what??? I then point at the big cup of pea salad and say "you know that's like 50% mayonnaise, right? That cant be good for you, at least not on your diet."He responds "I mean, it's a salad, right?" 🤦♂️
Just to say I'm not the model of health or anything, but I do know you can't eat copious amounts of mayo on a diet. Lol"
Dang!
"My sister. My wonderful sister. So intelligent, educated… but dang. They had their house inspected and the inspector found an issue with their gas heat. Called in a repairman and it turns out the were having lower levels of carbon monoxide leaking into their home."
"When my mom asked her why she didn't have several working detectors she answered "well I did, but one just wouldn't quit beeping". This was 10 years ago and we still bring it up all the time. Thankfully everyone turned out to be ok, but that wouldn't have been the case much longer."
- momx3f
Oh Brother....
Forest Gump GIF by memecandy
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"My brother was in Uni in the UK And needed a toaster. He ordered on off of Amazon for £3 and was surprised to find one so cheap. Turns out it was a kids toy, it came with plastic pieces of bread as well."
Ok, some people are unintentionally dangerous. That is another fact, but still have a good heart. Information is clearly power, in the right hands.
Motherland
Jennifer Lopez Smh GIF by American Idol
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"We were in a Conference that mentioned bulimia and she said I think I have ancestors from there."
People Share The Dumbest Purchases They Have Ever Made | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The Twin
"My dad is a software engineer and pretty smart. When my twin and I were about 7 he was the only one home with us when he started coughing up blood. Except he didn't tell anyone and decided to just wait for my mom to get home instead of getting someone else to look after us and going to the hospital."
"My mom was so pissed when she got home and he casually mentioned the coughing up blood thing. Turned out he had bronchopneumonia and had to spend a couple weeks in the hospital. Even had to have his heart stopped and started again. He almost died because he decided coughing up blood wasn't an emergency."
- 2_lazy
The Neighbor...
"I have a neighbor, he is by far the smartest person I know. A couple fourth of July's ago he got a quarter stick of dynamite, and strapped it to an RC boat with a detonate button and a timer. He sent it out on the lake at night, flipped the switch and it didn't go off. So he took it back into the house to fix it, but never turned the detonate button off. So when it was fixed the 7 second timer started going. It ended up going off in the house and blowing out all of the windows. Everyone was safe."
On the Head
"Easy. Dads an actuary. Basically a cross between a mathematician and an economist. Wrote a text book for his field, and has been CEO of several very large companies. I came home many years ago to hear Age of Empires blaring at a million dB. Thats odd."
"I wander downstairs to find him playing the game, with headphones on... but unplugged. He had the sound turned up on the speakers because he couldn't hear it over the dampening of the headphones. To top it off, he had the headphones on backwards. To this day makes me smirk."
"casual meth use"
Angry Bbc Two GIF by BBC
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"Girl I know has a masters in chemistry and still thought she could get away with "casual meth use" as if that is a thing."
Crafty Gramps...
"I have a grandfather who was an extremely talented criminal who used to rob store safes. One time he robbed a safe while posing as an inspector without even being noticed. He eventually turned himself in after starting a family (having my mom) then summarily escaped from prison, and managed to create a fake identity with a loophole that has now been closed."
"He lived with a fake last name for several years until he was eventually caught. However, he managed to negotiate for a pardon by explaining the loophole he used to create his fake name. (It was either the mayor or the governor, I forget). He went free and got a job as a maintenance guy. Then he retired and gave all of his money to a scam televangelist and now lives in poverty."
Zero...
"Brother in law is a pretty clever guy. Ran a bath for his kid, couldn't get the tap to turn off, mad panic, rang a plumber friend asking him to come round quick or the house is gonna flood. Friend was like, you could just pull the plug? Real nice, real clever guy. Zero common sense."
Kicks the mass...
"Where we are, you don't mess with jelly fish. They mess you up. My partner, post grad quals, civil engineer, super rational, smart, measured, not at all impulsive human being walking along the water's edge at the start of jelly fish season. Sees a mass in the water. "That looks like a jelly fish." Kicks the mass."
"Toe connects with mass. "Damn. It was a rock." Having gotten over my amazement at the stupidity I just witnessed, I pocketed the rock. Gave it to him as a congratulations at your amazing career promotion, just to remind him he is not immune to errors of judgement."
Idle Hands
Dummy Feeling Dumb GIF
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"They used their bare hand to check if the stove was still hot by pressing it directly on the burner, and they had two doctorates."
Damn Dad!
"My dad, Tafe professor. Got his mortgage down to $20,000 and had the opportunity to pay it all. Redrew and bought a brand new car. Totalled car. Bought another brand new car. Gave it to girlfriend at the time. Girlfriend left and kept car. Currently owes $250,000 on his same mortgage."
DOPE!
Dope GIF by asianhistorymonth
Giphy
"While applying for a job, he thought "sick pay" meant that the job paid really well."
The Shame
"My older brother. Hands down one of the smartest people I've ever had the privilege of knowing. Once got incredibly drunk, and wrote "A**" in big black permanent marker on the right ass cheek of an acquaintance who was wearing a brand new pair of like $85 white jeans. Never seen him look so ashamed while giving money to a person for clothing."
Jump!
"My buddy who is now a brilliant emergency medicine doctor at one point while sledding bet he could jump off his moving sled, over a flat bench, and land on the sled. While moving, he realized he couldn't position to jump and crashed ribcage into the bench. Dumbest genius I have ever met."
Cut Up
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"My older brother was the high school valedictorian and decided to cut an apple with a large knife while holding it in his hand. He has a lovely scar from it."
Moron Math
"My husband. He's a mathematician for the Feds, but he has repeatedly gotten us to the wrong airport in cities that have more than one. Like at least three times. He's brilliant, but a moron."
- Azryhael
"I'm also married to a mathematician. I feel your pain. I wouldn't trust him to plan or navigate any kind of travel. Ever."
- jn29
Everyone has moments of clarity. It's just that many of us have to lift through fog. And that fog can be heavy.
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I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...
Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
The Sting
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
Walk Away...
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed Off
Piano Performing GIFGiphy"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...
Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
Smoked
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"Well, if you find yourself stuck in a rut, it'll be something to fawn over."
Hey Fam...
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!
jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
- Sregge
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"This joke is great because everyone can laugh at it."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."
Lord Farquaad Ok GIF by PeacockTVGiphyCars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paint
lightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
"Also in Cars, when Mack is driving down the highway and wants to pull over into a truck stop to rest, the sign at the truck stop says 'Top Down Truck Stop, All Convertible Waitresses.'"
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
Oh, Ratatouille.
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"
ratatouille flirting GIF by Disney PixarGiphyCoco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
- TerH2
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"Monster House."
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."
Whispering French GIFGiphyChildren's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
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