I miss sleepovers.
In fact, I was just thinking that once the pandemic is behind us, I want an adult birthday sleepover.
I loved sleepovers.
Even the ones where things went awry.
The nights of tears and hair pulling and screaming.
Let's discuss the scars that were left behind from childhood's favorite pastime.
RedditorHugosimponwanted to reminisce about the times a night with friends turned into a nightmare.
"What 'accident' happened in a sleepover that ruined the sleepover?"
I remember bedwetting issues being the biggest issue. But we all lived.
"Friend woke up screaming in pain, my parents called his parents. They came by and rushed him to the ER, his appendix had burst, he made a full recovery... Minus the appendix."
dac2uChicago Fire Waiting GIF by One ChicagoGiphy
"I had a friend that had been acting up the entire time she was over so every one was already annoyed. Later in the night she was jumping off the coffee table and broke it, spilling melted ice cream all over a laptop and important papers that were on it. So basically she was never allowed back."
"I had a sleepover for my birthday. Several girl friends were sleeping over. We woke up and one of my friends (the shy quiet one, bless her heart) was gone. Vanished from her sleeping bag. There was also a mysterious dried substance on my best friends sleeping bag. She said 'what’s this?' And scrapes and picks it off. Turns out it was vomit. There was vomit EVERYWHERE."
"My mom had to take her home in the middle of the night because she woke up and threw up all over herself. She tried to cover her mouth so she had it all over her hands. She went up the stairs to get to the bathroom and touched the walls the whole way up. When she got to the bathroom she wiped her face on the hand towel and I’ll never forget the perfect face print that was left in vomit."
"A real work of art. The real tragedy is my mom had to clean it all up in the middle of the night after driving her home. If you’re out there, Madeline, I hope it doesn’t haunt you."
"Update: I told my mom how this blew up and she had some tidbits to add that I had forgotten. She threw up in another girls shoes."
"The vomit also stained those towels from hunter green to orange. And the last thing, when my tired mom threw her sleeping bag in the washer, she accidentally set it for ‘small load’ so when she handed it back to her mom later, chunks of vomit fell out and she said 'you could tell it had been a pizza party.' It was also her first sleep over. Probably last…"
"My wife's older sister and that sister's friend were chasing each other around the house when they were around 10 years old. They were running in a circle set up where you go from a door off the kitchen into the yard and back through a sliding glass door to the living room. Friend was chasing sister and sister slammed the sliding glass door shut. This was the 80s and the house was old by then so this was not safety glass."
"Friend ran full speed into the glass door, going straight through the glass. Story goes, it was as bad as you would expect without any fatalities, with massive bleeding and hospital dash. I can't imagine being either parent on the end of that phone call."
"Not me, but a friend's friend who was having a sleepover with his friend. Dude pooped himself while he was sleeping, woke up while his friend was still asleep and wiped his butt on the sheets and left the scene."
FinttzSaturday Night Live Ugh GIF by HULUGiphy
Well that is disturbing. I thought we'd be hearing about ghosts. But this...
"In middle school, on my birthday sleepover, my friend pretended to have a seizure for attention. That pretty much ruined the vibes."
Go to Bed!
"This wasn’t an accident but my friend and I built a blanket fort under her desk and fell asleep in it. Around 2 am her step dad came into the room, opened the fort and threw a glass of ice water all over us yelling, 'You’re supposed to be in bed! Stop trying to hide from me!' Then he saw me, took a few steps back, and apologized and told us to go to bed."
"I was only 9 or 10 and didn’t understand what that was all about. My friend was scared and made me promise not to tell anyone, and since I didn’t understand what was really happening, I kept my promise. I’m 32 now and I regret not telling my parents about it at the time."
"Former classmate died while hosting a sleepover, age 18-19. He had a heart transplant while a young child, pre-10. I guess it caught up to him and his time came one night. He had 3-4 friends over for the night and when everyone woke the next morning, he didn't. (I was not in attendance)."
"That's not so great for the attendees, but pretty great for the deceased - getting to spend your last night surrounded by friends is not the worst end to a life."
"My great grandma had just passed on my moms side and I was 8... me and my 2 cousins were spending the night at my grandma's house (her mom was the one that passed away) my grandma had 4 kids all there for the funeral. Idk what happened but my uncle pushed my aunt through a screen door (not drunk or on drugs) and lost his crap. Needless to say my grandpa was beyond pissed that any one would act this way at a time where we were about to lay someone to rest."
"Friend has a mouse running around his attic bedroom. One kid decided to throw his dad's pocket knife he 'borrowed' at it, and sliced open another kids neck when he threw it (completely missed the mouse)."
HAPPY_GORDON_FREEMANExcuse Me Mouse GIFGiphy
Kid was a pyro!
"My son had trouble making friends when he was younger. He befriended a kid from school and invited him to a sleepover after having him over to play games a few times. I met the kid's grandmother and she seemed a bit ... worried? hesitant?, I don't know. I assured her he'd be fine with us."
"I let the two of them stay in my trailer in the backyard to have the sleepover. About an hour goes by and my son comes into the house and goes to his room, alone. I asked what's wrong and if they got into a fight. He said no, but the kid's being a bit bossy. I dug a bit deeper and discovered the kid was in the trailer setting fires!"
"I went out there immediately, and found him trying to hide a package of matches and a bunch of burned matches all over the mattress. Now I know why the grandmother was worried. Kid was a pyro! I took him straight home and told my son that he made a good effort to make friends, but some kids just don't make good friends."
"My friend and I went for a walk in the woods with his jack russell terrier. Every time I was around his dog, my eyes would itch, so i figured I must have been mildly allergic to his dog. After about an hour in the woods, we made our way back to his house."
"We got inside, did the usual upstate New York check yourself for ticks, and sat down to play video games. Within about 5 minutes of me being in the house, my friend looks at me and says something along the lines of 'dude what is good with your eyes."
"So I go into the bathroom and look... my eyes are ALMOST SWOLLEN SHUT!!! It turns out that on our excursion I had touched poison ivy and when we got to the house my eyes started itching from the dog and I rubbed my eyes. It was... HORRIBLE. My dad picked me up immediately. Sleepover = ruined,"
"I went to a friend's house for a sleepover in 9th grade for his birthday party. It was like 3 am and the others were playing pool (I was trying to sleep), he accidentally shot the ball too high and it flew into his fathers bar and broke a bunch of bottles. The dad didn’t get mad, he was proud of his kid for telling him the truth."
"Pillow fights all fun and games until someone gets smacked in the face with a hard plastic teddy bear eyeball and starts crying."
TheSkyIsDatacommunity fighting GIFGiphy
"At my brother’s sleepover party, he and his best friend convinced another kid that their pee (the two of them each took a turn filling the cup) was apple juice and got the kid to drink. Kid’s mom came and took him home and my mom flipped out at my brother."
"Me (10) and two of my cousins(11), (13) had a sleep over. We were playing hide and seek tag in the house. My older cousin was chasing my younger cousin. When my younger cousin stepped on a toothpick, while running. It went through the bottom of his foot, it pushed the top of his foot skin up like a tent. It was buried so deep you could no longer see the toothpick. That immediately stopped that and both my cousins had to go to the emergency room. I’ll never forget that."
On the Floor
"A male friend of mine got entirely too drunk and started bawling about a girl we both knew that wouldn't give him the time of day. The entire group of us ended up sleeping on the living room floor without pillows or blankets, while listening to the host and his girlfriend doing it all night. The same guy that was upset got up TWICE in the middle of the night to pee on the carpet about 4 feet from my head. I never slept over after a big party again."
"My brother fell out of our friend's tree house, and cut his leg open on a poorly placed nail on the way down."
CaptnRiggenMe Me Me Fainting GIF by Archie ComicsGiphy
"My friend's pet turtles 'froze' to death. The had got them about 2 weeks before we had a sleepover and got mad because I told them that i hoped they had the right supplies for them. They thought you could just put them in a tub of water with no heat lamp, sand or foliage. It was the middle of winter and they didn't have good heating. They died and had been dead for a few hours while we were having drinks and playing cards. And they didn't even bury them. They threw them in the trash. I did not stay the night for many years to come."
Maybe a ZOOM birthday sleepover. No reason to press my luck.
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Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.
Who doesn't love a good joke?
And one needn't be a professional comedian to always have a joke in their back pocket to make people laugh.
Particularly as there are certain types of jokes which are almost always guaranteed to elicit at least a tiny chuckle.
They could be knock-knock jokes, "little johnny" jokes, and of course the "yo mamma" jokes.
Though always teetering on the boundaries of good taste, the possibilities of jokingly insulting the mother of a friend, or foe, are endless, and more often than not, hilarious.
Redditor nobody-and-68-others was eager to hear the funniest "you mamma" jokes people have ever heard, leading them to ask:
"What are the best “Yo mama” jokes you got?"
Yo mamma's so fat...
"yo mamma so fat she wakes up in sections."- LolCoca
"Yo mama so fat when I had a threesome with her I never met the other guy."- 1nzlocky
"Your mama so fat, her memory foam mattress wish it could forget."- cuirboyFat GIFGiphy
...How fat Is she?
"Yo mama's so fat she outweighs the needs of the many."- BenefitsCustardbatch·
"Yo mama’s so fat that every time she turns around, it’s her birthday."- Amphibutter·
Yo mamma's so ugly...
'Yo mama so ugly, criminals break into her house just to close the curtains."- Cap_the_pro
"Yo mama so ugly your dad wakes up with morning wouldn't."- lukeedbnash
"Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves."- SolHalcyonthe emperors new groove hangover GIFGiphy
This could have so many meanings...
"The earth was flat until they buried yo mama."- jaymo54
Fat AND Ugly?
"Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, the stock market drops."
"Yo mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back."- SophisticatedOtaku
Needless to say, not all jokes are to everyone's taste.
Something to keep in mind when sharing these jokes with others.
Particularly with, "yo mamma", or anyone else's...
Societal norms gradually change over time, and it's not until a generation looks back and notices just how far they've come.
One of the major differences people from earlier generations find fascinating is how things were much more rigid compared to current times.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor FCFSDeals asked:
"What’s now weirdly acceptable in 2022 that was not acceptable growing up in your generation?"
Prior to cellphones, calling protocol was vastly different once upon a time.
Answering The Call
"Not answering the phone. When we only had landline phones (yes long time ago), there was no ringing phone that went unanswered. Now we screen or just plain ignore calls until we are good and ready to deal with it."
"Also, no one expected to reach you at any time, 24-7. I miss those days."
"But there was phone etiquette: no solicitation calls; no polls; and nobody called after 9PM unless someone was in jail or the hospital."
Appearance guidelines seemed to have shifted between generations.
"People have already said tattoos, but body piercings also exploded in popularity. It used to be girls could get their ears pierced, and that was it. When I was in high school, some guys started doing the one earring look and tongue, nose and bellybutton piercings were starting to become popular."
Comfort Is Priority
"Wearing sneakers to work at a fortune 100 company."
"At the beginning of my career it was suit and tie, then business casual and now I wear stan smiths, jeans and an untucked polo in the most senior position of my working life."
"I worked for the US Senate in 2009 (in a totally non-political job for the Senate Curator). I wore clothes from Hot Topic on the Senate floor. Some days I wore old jeans with holes in the knees if I knew I'd be climbing ladders to clean artworks. One of the women on the team had a full chest tattoo and made zero effort to cover it up because no one cared. The day I met Senator Inouye to discuss what paintings he wanted in his office, I had on trainers."
Benefits Of Letting The Hair Down
"They realized that they can't erode wages and expect us to look like we're on Mad Men at the same time. Allowing long haired freaky people has made them sh*tloads of money over the years."
Hair Coloring & Tattoos
"Any type of hair coloring would result in serious trouble at school. I also remember tatoos being frown upon as being found mostly on people that got out of prison."
The advent of the internet was a huge game changer, and rules were made up as we went along.
The Bandwidth Situation
"2 people using the internet at the same time."
Phones In The Classroom
"Middle/high school students being allowed to have their cell phones in class. Being caught with our cell phone when I was a high schooler was an automatic detention etc."
Consequences Of Having A Phone On Campus
"I graduated in the late 90's, and the president of my class got expelled one week before graduation for having a phone on campus. It was in his car, and this was after hours. It rang and a teacher heard it. They made an example out of him. He lost his admission to West Point."
"Now my 8th grader finds it super unjust that her science teacher makes all the kids put their phones in a box at the front of the room during tests, and feels super justified in never ever giving up her airpods to that sort of thing."
When I was a cast member at Disneyland in the early 2000s, we had to abide by the strict, clean-cut appearance guidelines required of all cast members–with different rules applying to each respective gender.
Men, for example, were not allowed to wear jewelry or have visible tattoos. We also had to maintain the length of our hair to not exceed past a certain length, and sporting facial hair was a major no-no.
Now, the "Disney Look" has changed, allowing all cast members to reflect their personalities through “gender-inclusive hairstyles, jewelry, nail styles and costume choices; and allowing appropriate visible tattoos," according to the Disney Parks Blog.
To the Mouse, I tip my hat for these awesome changes.