I miss sleepovers.
In fact, I was just thinking that once the pandemic is behind us, I want an adult birthday sleepover.
I loved sleepovers.
Even the ones where things went awry.
The nights of tears and hair pulling and screaming.
Let's discuss the scars that were left behind from childhood's favorite pastime.
RedditorHugosimponwanted to reminisce about the times a night with friends turned into a nightmare.
"What 'accident' happened in a sleepover that ruined the sleepover?"
I remember bedwetting issues being the biggest issue. But we all lived.
"Friend woke up screaming in pain, my parents called his parents. They came by and rushed him to the ER, his appendix had burst, he made a full recovery... Minus the appendix."
dac2uChicago Fire Waiting GIF by One ChicagoGiphy
"I had a friend that had been acting up the entire time she was over so every one was already annoyed. Later in the night she was jumping off the coffee table and broke it, spilling melted ice cream all over a laptop and important papers that were on it. So basically she was never allowed back."
"I had a sleepover for my birthday. Several girl friends were sleeping over. We woke up and one of my friends (the shy quiet one, bless her heart) was gone. Vanished from her sleeping bag. There was also a mysterious dried substance on my best friends sleeping bag. She said 'what’s this?' And scrapes and picks it off. Turns out it was vomit. There was vomit EVERYWHERE."
"My mom had to take her home in the middle of the night because she woke up and threw up all over herself. She tried to cover her mouth so she had it all over her hands. She went up the stairs to get to the bathroom and touched the walls the whole way up. When she got to the bathroom she wiped her face on the hand towel and I’ll never forget the perfect face print that was left in vomit."
"A real work of art. The real tragedy is my mom had to clean it all up in the middle of the night after driving her home. If you’re out there, Madeline, I hope it doesn’t haunt you."
"Update: I told my mom how this blew up and she had some tidbits to add that I had forgotten. She threw up in another girls shoes."
"The vomit also stained those towels from hunter green to orange. And the last thing, when my tired mom threw her sleeping bag in the washer, she accidentally set it for ‘small load’ so when she handed it back to her mom later, chunks of vomit fell out and she said 'you could tell it had been a pizza party.' It was also her first sleep over. Probably last…"
"My wife's older sister and that sister's friend were chasing each other around the house when they were around 10 years old. They were running in a circle set up where you go from a door off the kitchen into the yard and back through a sliding glass door to the living room. Friend was chasing sister and sister slammed the sliding glass door shut. This was the 80s and the house was old by then so this was not safety glass."
"Friend ran full speed into the glass door, going straight through the glass. Story goes, it was as bad as you would expect without any fatalities, with massive bleeding and hospital dash. I can't imagine being either parent on the end of that phone call."
"Not me, but a friend's friend who was having a sleepover with his friend. Dude pooped himself while he was sleeping, woke up while his friend was still asleep and wiped his butt on the sheets and left the scene."
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Well that is disturbing. I thought we'd be hearing about ghosts. But this...
"In middle school, on my birthday sleepover, my friend pretended to have a seizure for attention. That pretty much ruined the vibes."
Go to Bed!
"This wasn’t an accident but my friend and I built a blanket fort under her desk and fell asleep in it. Around 2 am her step dad came into the room, opened the fort and threw a glass of ice water all over us yelling, 'You’re supposed to be in bed! Stop trying to hide from me!' Then he saw me, took a few steps back, and apologized and told us to go to bed."
"I was only 9 or 10 and didn’t understand what that was all about. My friend was scared and made me promise not to tell anyone, and since I didn’t understand what was really happening, I kept my promise. I’m 32 now and I regret not telling my parents about it at the time."
"Former classmate died while hosting a sleepover, age 18-19. He had a heart transplant while a young child, pre-10. I guess it caught up to him and his time came one night. He had 3-4 friends over for the night and when everyone woke the next morning, he didn't. (I was not in attendance)."
"That's not so great for the attendees, but pretty great for the deceased - getting to spend your last night surrounded by friends is not the worst end to a life."
"My great grandma had just passed on my moms side and I was 8... me and my 2 cousins were spending the night at my grandma's house (her mom was the one that passed away) my grandma had 4 kids all there for the funeral. Idk what happened but my uncle pushed my aunt through a screen door (not drunk or on drugs) and lost his crap. Needless to say my grandpa was beyond pissed that any one would act this way at a time where we were about to lay someone to rest."
"Friend has a mouse running around his attic bedroom. One kid decided to throw his dad's pocket knife he 'borrowed' at it, and sliced open another kids neck when he threw it (completely missed the mouse)."
HAPPY_GORDON_FREEMANExcuse Me Mouse GIFGiphy
Kid was a pyro!
"My son had trouble making friends when he was younger. He befriended a kid from school and invited him to a sleepover after having him over to play games a few times. I met the kid's grandmother and she seemed a bit ... worried? hesitant?, I don't know. I assured her he'd be fine with us."
"I let the two of them stay in my trailer in the backyard to have the sleepover. About an hour goes by and my son comes into the house and goes to his room, alone. I asked what's wrong and if they got into a fight. He said no, but the kid's being a bit bossy. I dug a bit deeper and discovered the kid was in the trailer setting fires!"
"I went out there immediately, and found him trying to hide a package of matches and a bunch of burned matches all over the mattress. Now I know why the grandmother was worried. Kid was a pyro! I took him straight home and told my son that he made a good effort to make friends, but some kids just don't make good friends."
"My friend and I went for a walk in the woods with his jack russell terrier. Every time I was around his dog, my eyes would itch, so i figured I must have been mildly allergic to his dog. After about an hour in the woods, we made our way back to his house."
"We got inside, did the usual upstate New York check yourself for ticks, and sat down to play video games. Within about 5 minutes of me being in the house, my friend looks at me and says something along the lines of 'dude what is good with your eyes."
"So I go into the bathroom and look... my eyes are ALMOST SWOLLEN SHUT!!! It turns out that on our excursion I had touched poison ivy and when we got to the house my eyes started itching from the dog and I rubbed my eyes. It was... HORRIBLE. My dad picked me up immediately. Sleepover = ruined,"
"I went to a friend's house for a sleepover in 9th grade for his birthday party. It was like 3 am and the others were playing pool (I was trying to sleep), he accidentally shot the ball too high and it flew into his fathers bar and broke a bunch of bottles. The dad didn’t get mad, he was proud of his kid for telling him the truth."
"Pillow fights all fun and games until someone gets smacked in the face with a hard plastic teddy bear eyeball and starts crying."
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"At my brother’s sleepover party, he and his best friend convinced another kid that their pee (the two of them each took a turn filling the cup) was apple juice and got the kid to drink. Kid’s mom came and took him home and my mom flipped out at my brother."
"Me (10) and two of my cousins(11), (13) had a sleep over. We were playing hide and seek tag in the house. My older cousin was chasing my younger cousin. When my younger cousin stepped on a toothpick, while running. It went through the bottom of his foot, it pushed the top of his foot skin up like a tent. It was buried so deep you could no longer see the toothpick. That immediately stopped that and both my cousins had to go to the emergency room. I’ll never forget that."
On the Floor
"A male friend of mine got entirely too drunk and started bawling about a girl we both knew that wouldn't give him the time of day. The entire group of us ended up sleeping on the living room floor without pillows or blankets, while listening to the host and his girlfriend doing it all night. The same guy that was upset got up TWICE in the middle of the night to pee on the carpet about 4 feet from my head. I never slept over after a big party again."
"My brother fell out of our friend's tree house, and cut his leg open on a poorly placed nail on the way down."
CaptnRiggenMe Me Me Fainting GIF by Archie ComicsGiphy
"My friend's pet turtles 'froze' to death. The had got them about 2 weeks before we had a sleepover and got mad because I told them that i hoped they had the right supplies for them. They thought you could just put them in a tub of water with no heat lamp, sand or foliage. It was the middle of winter and they didn't have good heating. They died and had been dead for a few hours while we were having drinks and playing cards. And they didn't even bury them. They threw them in the trash. I did not stay the night for many years to come."
Maybe a ZOOM birthday sleepover. No reason to press my luck.
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"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
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"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
"Proposing mid intercourse."
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
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"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
FlavorsAmanda Seales Wow GIF by truTVGiphy
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
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"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
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"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
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"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....