Most of us were taught that nobody loves a braggart or a show off, but let's be honest: if we don't celebrate ourselves, who will?
Weirdly, the answer seems to be "strangers on the internet."
Reddit user tzhumanbean asked:
"What's your biggest flex?"
So listen, just for a minute, forget everything in you that wants to be humble. Toot your own horn. Brag about whatever seemingly-silly thing you're amazing at.
If you need some inspiration, Reddit will go first.
"You know the game at the carnival where you climb the wobbly rope ladder and ring the bell?"
"I've won it twice"
"Nice, I watched a mark rober video about that, and it's supposed to be near impossible because physics."
"The trick is to only have 1 hand and 1 foot on the ropes at any given time and said hand and foot need to be opposites. Get that technique down and you will win everytime."
"Or just walk directly up the center of the ladder on only your feet. That's how the people that run the game do it, and it was the only way I could do it as well. I've won twice that way."
"What’s the secret?"
"I kept my feet and hands close to the edges. I moves opposite legs and hands as close to the same time as possible. Near the top its very hard to balance so I sprinted/jumped for the bell."
"My grandad used to build space shuttles/spaceships."
"The company he worked for would send the spaceships to nasa. The company was doing a private time capsule thing where the workers could send their name to the moon on a piece of paper."
"My grandad wrote my name down, so i’m now on the moon."
"That is f*cking sweet!"
"Aw wow 🥺🥰"
- Catbug94Moon Landing No GIF by Arrow AcademyGiphy
Rich In Stem
"When I donated bone marrow (stem cells) I had 6 times the normal amount."
"They ran the tests 3 times to confirm."
"You got more stem than a sunflower"
"So, you're like a potent human being?"
"Damn, leave some stems cells for the rest of us."
"You’re probably Force-sensitive and should seek a mentor from the Jedi Council."
"I can flex some muscle in my neck and make myself look like a croaking frog. It scares kids"
"Upvoted for scaring kids"
"flex within a flex"
"My 14 year old son does that to annoy me. Haha"
- jn29Inflate Pbs Nature GIF by Nature on PBSGiphy
Flick Some Cents
"I’m so good at flicking pennies (P E N N I E S) that I can flick them into peoples pockets without them knowing."
"Dude one of my friends is a phenom at flicking pennies. We worked together 18 years ago at my first professional job. He was the underachiever of underachievers, super capable guy but he was purposefully lazy and pretended to be incompetent so nobody would ask him to do anything."
"One day I caught him flicking pennies across the facility, hitting random people in the head from afar just to cause a stir. He could do it so stealthily that nobody else could tell where they were coming from, but I caught him. I wasn't technically in management at the time, but I was the designated engineer for that department, so I had to talk to him about it. For months leading up to me catching him, we had an ongoing phenomenon of "magic pennies" appearing randomly around the facility. Everywhere you looked, there was a random penny. Friggin' everywhere. This was a high tech facility in the medical field, so random pennies laying around isn't a good look... Management was getting aggravated by it."
"Hey, that's a neat trick... How long you been doing it?"
" 'A long time' *Big Smile*"
"As a friend, I have to ask you to stop."
"Ok, ok, but I have one penny left and it's going to be a one in a million shot."
"Damnit... You need to promise it'll stop. The flicking and the random pennies everywhere, I don't want you getting fired over it and there's a lot of eyebrows getting raised right now."
"He flicked that penny through the air right as one of the warehouse guys was driving through on a tugger (it's like half golf cart, half fork truck). The penny popped the driver right above the ear with an audible WHACK. The driver jerked, turning the tugger and crashing it into three large material hoppers and busting a water line off the side of a machine. This caused 4 production lines to get halted and maintenance called in for about 4 hours of downtime."
"I wrestled with it but ultimately said nothing. The warehouse guy said a wasp must have got him and he did not get in trouble at all. My friend stopped flicking pennies after that."
"Sorry for the long story, I type super fast and it gets away from me at times..."
- crapgarbagewwe congrats GIFGiphy
"In the 4th grade I won one if my countries biggest math competitions. I can also lick my elbow"
"The duality of man"
"Not gonna lie I'm more impressed with the elbow licking. Like how the fuck? Do you have a really long tongue or weird ass ligaments or something?"
"I’m more impressed by that too."
"I actually tried. Could not lick my elbow. Impressive."
The Flex We Need
"I’m a marine biologist and my research has been used in the conservation of both sea turtles and whales."
"That’s the nicest flex on this thread, solely because I have been obsessed with whales ever since I was born. I love talking to marine biologists and expanding my knowledge as well as knowing what I can do to keep whales safe and happy! Thank you for your work!"
"I’m happy that I get to do this work. It’s not all unicorns and rainbows, but it’s pretty cool."
"real life super hero! keep up the good work"
- christophersbooksHigh Five Bro GIFGiphy
Kicking Some Serious Behind
"I kicked cancer’s ass"
"Now that's a flex that everyone is happy about"
"So proud of you!💪 hope i can achieve this as well soon"
"F*cking fair play mate, as we would say in my part of the world."
"well done mate."
"Long live you! 👑"
"Throwaway here, I come from former meth addicts. I say "former" because my dad hasn't been using while in prison and my mother is disabled with a heart condition."
"I got a full tuition ride in undergrad, and I'm starting grad school @ Tufts this fall :)"
"Edit: Thank you all so much for your kindness! You guys made me cry. My acceptance was after some time working in human welfare, and being selected to assist in the creation of U.S. policy regarding health initiatives with the feds. I wish I could tell you all more, but I can't be too specific."
"But really, thank you. I'm doing the best I can with what I have, and I'm grateful for all the support. :)"
"Wow, well done! Just from an internet stranger to another, I felt proud of you while reading this comment and I'm genuinely excited for your future."
"That’s awesome! you’ll enjoy Tufts, it’s a great school and fairly fun location."
"That’s where I go! Incredible school, great community, you’ll love it!"
"Going into my 17th year teaching high school physics."
"I would bet money that 75% of all students I've taught would put me in their top 3 favorite teachers of all time."
"What is it about physics teachers? They were always the coolest, in grade-school and in college..."
"My physics teacher in high school used to play Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, and stuff from Dr Demento while we were taking tests. He'd randomly quiz us on song names and lyrics for bonus points."
"We had an amazing physics teacher who is a legend, such a hard working dude, used to be very patient with us. After two years of teaching our class, we gifted him an Armani watch which costed like 2400$."
"Did you bring in your collection of electric guitars, dismantled and have us reassemble the pickups while you lectured about electromagnetism and how strumming induced current?"
"That was an amazing day, thank you Mr. Holzwarth!"
"Thank you for your hardwork!!"
- itzhumanbeanDab Reaction GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
Feeling more inspired to jump in on the participation trophy tsunami? C'mon. You know you want to.
Can you play a dope rendition of Stairway to Heaven on a kazoo? Did you save the day by finding the stray red sock in the load of whites BEFORE you started the wash? What about the time you managed to get all your bra hooks into their holes behind your back on the first try without fidgeting?
Flex your flexiest flex, fam.
Like lots of kids growing up, I did love my candy and my sugar. Truth be told, I wasn't allowed to have as much as I would have liked, but that doesn't mean I didn't sneak some candies whenever I had the opportunity.
Now that I'm older though? My taste buds just aren't the same.
I can't stomach too much of anything super sweet and the idea of chowing down on candy and chocolate the way I see some kids do pretty much grosses me out.
My body thanks me, though!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Fulhus asked the online community,
"What food doesn't taste as good as it used to?"
Planterz Cheese Balls
"Planters Cheez Balls. Those things were like the food of the gods when I was a kid in the 80s. When they brought them back for a while a few years ago I bought a few cans, only to find out they tasted like disappointment."
It's true what they say: You can't go home again.
"Juicy Fruit gum. They ruined the flavor 20 years ago. It tastes bitter after 20 seconds. They should just discontinue the gum."
Honestly, yes. It tastes like nothing now. Then again, I haven't had gum in years and I'm okay with that.
"Thin Mints — most other Girl Scout cookies since they changed manufacturer, but I miss the old thin mints the most."
I had some recently and I really enjoyed them but I guess I wouldn't know! I didn't grow up eating Girl Scout cookies.
"She left me her recipes..."
"My grandma's cooking. She left me her recipes when she passed but I still can’t recreate her magic."
Nostalgia is also an ingredient, believe it or not.
Sorry about your loss.
"Butterfingers or Nestle chocolate in general."
I used to love these and don't think I can stomach them anymore.
"KFC has gone WAY downhill in the past 25 years."
Honestly, Popeye's is where it's at. That's been the case for a long time.
"Pop tarts. They are chalky/pasty and so thin now."
If you really want to taste a proper Pop Tart, I have found that the store brands taste a lot like the old ones. Check some out.
"Corn Pops ever since they got rid of the foil bag."
The foil bag?
They got rid of the foil bag?1
Is nothing sacred?!
"Peaches. I've commented on this many times but the last several years the peach crop has sucked. I haven't had a good, juicy, non-mealy peach in a long time."
The ones you buy at the store are nowhere near as good as the ones my friend can just pick off the tree in his backyard!
"Klondike bars, they are half of what they used to be and the coating is chocolate flavored crap they mist across them instead of actually coating them in something approaching real chocolate."
They melt so quickly, too! Not worth it. I haven't had one in years.
Sorry to disappoint all of you: The things you loved eating as a kid are pretty bad now.
Your wallet and health will thank you later. Much of it is just really terrible refined sugar.
Have some thoughts of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
It's really no secret that most children think their parents are super uncool.
Because of course they are.
Parents didn't have lives or dreams of their own before they had children, right? How could they possibly ever have been fun?
That's sarcasm, by the way. Most people grow out of this attitude, and it usually disappears by the time a kid gets through their teenage years, when pretty much anything their parents do turns their faces red with embarrassment.
But suppose you, the parents, wanted to embarrass your kids anyway, say by reviving a slang term or two?
People shared their thoughts after Redditor the-tinman asked the online community,
"What are some slang terms a 50 year old dad can say to his daughter to embarrass her?"
"Just say "whatup fam?" Then when they get mad yell "worldstar."
Do I even want to know what the hell "worldstar" is? Ugh. I'm old now.
This is actually sweet.
"I am taking my 14 year old daughter and her friends to an Anime convention. They are all dressing up to cosplay anime characters. I decided to dress up as Indiana Jones, And I guess that is the worst thing in the world."
For them? Yeah. Bonus points if you quote some awesome Indy lines.
"When something surprises you..."
"When something surprises you, say you are “shook."
And when you're really, really surprised, say that you're "shooketh."
"Wuss poppin' Jimbo?"
How about you don't but we'll say that you did?
"Wait till she’s in an argument with your spouse, or being slightly verbose in a public place, pull out your phone and shout “world star!"
There it is again! Do I really need to start adding this to my vocabulary? Because I really don't want to.
"Say bruh after literally every sentence."
Your mother and i have decided we are getting a divorce. Bruh.
"He did things like..."
"My dad never used slang terms. He did things like ask if I applied my rash cream and if my gum disease was bothering me in front of people."
This sounds like it definitely impacted your ability to get dates.
"Ugh, my 60 year old mother loves to say things are ”the puff daddy” when she thinks something is awesome or superior. So you should probably point out things that you also find to be the “puff daddy."
She knows exactly what she's doing.
An evil genius.
"I used the "You ain't woke fam. I'm too lit" on my 15 yr old daughter. I'm 46. Her exact response, walking by without looking at me. "I don't even think you understand what you are saying."
Plot twist: But you did.
You totally did.
"I'm partial to saying..."
"I’m partial to saying “I’m finna pop a goog” instead of “I’m going to google this thing." I’ve received mixed responses."
Gee, I wonder why?
And there you have it. If you have a kid, they better watch out. But do report back. The results are undoubtedly hilarious.
Have a suggestion of your own? Tell us about it in the comments below!
It's always sad when people don't have anything better to do than throw insults at people.
And yet it happens far too often, between people who see each other on a fairly regular basis, as well as complete strangers.
It's always a good idea to avoid sinking to their level when this happens, and just ignore them and walk on by.
That being said, there is very little more satisfying than coming back at them with just the right choice of words, and leaving them in stunned silence.
"What is the greatest comeback to an insult you’ve ever heard?"
"My best friend: After an argument with some kid from our school in a shop we began walking away down the street..."
"Kid: 'where you going?'"
"Friend: 'your moms house'."
"Kid: 'my mom lives the other way idiot'."
"Friend: 'Nah, i meant your real mom'.”- FourShott
Don't Tell Me How To Do My Job!
"Air Traffic Control doing a poor job of vectoring an Airbus A330 in for landing."
"Pilot: 'You've left us too high, I don't think we can make the approach'."
"ATC: "You've got speedbreaks on that thing, don't you?'"
"Pilot: (After a noticeable pause) 'Yes, but those are for my mistakes, not yours'."- DerpDishPizza
If You Can't Take Heat...
"A friend in high school on our way to a track meet."
"He was staring at a car in the parking that was really nice."
"When this dbag saw him."
"Dbag: 'Why bothering looking at that when you know you’ll never be able to get one?'”
"My friend: 'The same reason you watch porn'.”
"The entire bus erupted and it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard."- RedIguanaLeaderCute Gif Reaction GIFGiphy
The Only Thing Worse Than People Talking About You?...
"A dude in my class called out a semi friend of mine."
"That people are talking behind his back."
"In fact, that wasn’t the case, as far as I know, and that guy said: 'Well you know what the say about you?'"
"'Nothing, nobody f*cking cares'.“ Reddit
Seriously, Mind Your Own Business
"So there was 2 girls fighting and one of them looks at my sister who was minding her own business and says: you go to hell too!"
"My sister: do you want me to say anything to your mom?" - Reddit
Take It Like A Real Man!
"It's gotta be the Aliens locker room scene for me."
"Hudson: 'Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?'"
"Vasquez: 'No, have you?'"- Mike-DropJames Cameron Aliens GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
When You Get The Teacher In Stitches...
"English class in Middle School."
"Kid A - 'yo, Kid B, your mama waited on me at McDonalds last night'."
"'Must feel like sh*t having a mom that works at McDonalds'."
"Kid B- 'at least MY mom gets out of bed to go to work'."
"English teacher far louder than he realized 'DAYUM!'."
"The rest of us were laughing so hard, the teacher next door popped her head in to see what was going on."- Nutella_Zamboni
Living Up To His Reputation
"Context: John Oliver from HBO interviews Stephen Hawking (may he rest in peace)."
"JO: 'And there may be a universe where I am more intelligent than you?'."
"SH: 'There may even be a universe where you are funny'."- bugfish03
When They Go Low, You Go High!
"Overheard by me, the school bus driver."
"One fifth grade student was belittling a first grader."
"When it was time for a comeback, first grader shouts out, 'Congratulations!'"
"The bewildered fifth grader had nothing to say and went to sit down with her friends in the back of the bus."- emzirekJeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphy
"Joe Pyne interviewing Frank Zappa."
"Joe: 'I guess your long hair makes you a woman'."
"FZ: 'I guess your wooden leg makes you a table'." Reddit
It's sad when people have nothing better to do than belittle others.
Making it hard to feel that they get just what they deserve when someone school's them with a clever comeback.
Hopefully teaching them to use their time a bit more wisely going forward.
Being diagnosed with cancer is news no one ever wants to hear.
For some people, the diagnosis might come as a surprise, with no signs or warnings whatsoever.
Others, however might have detected some irregularities, or suffered from symptoms which led them to believe something wasn't quite right, leading them to run to a doctor.
Only to have their worst fears realized.
"People of Reddit who have gone through or are going through cancer, what was the first sign that made you go to the doctor?"
Lucky To Be Scolded By Dad.
"I was fooling around in a mall as a kid."
"So My dad grabbed me by the neck to make me behave."
"He felt a lump on my neck and immediately began to get nervous."
"We went to the doctor the next day, caught the cancer before it spread and was able to surgically remove it about a month later."
"Got super lucky."- SockFeetLover
"My sister noticed a small painful lump in her breast shortly after having her second child."
'Doctor diagnosed a blocked mammary gland."
"A couple weeks later it still wasn’t gone."
"Again doc said blocked gland."
"Months later it’s still not gone and she insists on getting a second opinion."
"Stage 3 breast cancer."
"Double mastectomy immediately followed by months of agonizing radiation and chemo only to find out it’s now stage four."
"She’s been stable for a few years but now it’s spreading again and we don’t know how long we have with her."
"Trying to be as positive as possible."- KidGorgeous19
"My 33 year old husband was diagnosed with inoperable glioblastoma, most aggressive brain cancer, in January 2019, when he was 31."
"What caused him to get a check, was persistent headache that didn’t go away with paracetamols and sleep."
"We discovered the tumors after taking an MRI."
"Needless to say, our lives were changed forever."
"Now we are at the end of our journey, and it’s been a harrowing experience for me as his wife and caregiver."
"It’s a lonely journey."
"I don’t wish it upon anyone and no one has any idea what glioblastoma is like, unless they have gone through it."
"The median survival time is 14-18 months."
"Viktor has passed away yesterday, on 1st August."
"He was surrounded by his brother and me and smiled a lot to the very end."
"At his final resting position, his face looked relaxed and a little smile can be seen by us too."
"I am still in shock, processing what has happened to us. I’ll take the time I need to process this and grieve."
"I just miss my husband."
"I miss his laughs."
"I miss his smile."
"I feel loved."
"I know I’m loved."
"So that’s keeping me together."
"May Viktor find peace."
"I know he’s not in pain now."- syarkbait
Swollen Head and Neck
"My head and neck area became very swollen."
"At first I thought I was just getting fat, so I worked out a lot and ate better."
"This did not help."
"I also went to a local clinic and they thought it might be an allergic reaction and gave me steroids, which also didn’t help."
"The thing that finally made me go to the emergency room and not leave until I had an answer is that I started to develop unexplained bruises on my chest."
"Turns out I had a huge tumor in my chest which had grown around my heart and was compressing the superior vena cava so blood couldn’t flow back down from my head."
"The good news is that it turned out to be very treatable and I’ve been cancer free for 11 years now."- eskimospy212
A Different Lump
"Funnily enough, it was a totally unrelated lump."
"'Nope, that lump is fine, just a lipoma'."
"'However, we found another lump in the corner of your x-ray and we need to biopsy it'."- something_crass
"Super heavy periods that would last for 10 or more days."
"Got an iud to help control bleeding."
"Actually hemorrhaged so bad the iud came out."
"Endometrial Cancer, huge tumor in my uterus."
"Ladies, it's not normal to need a tampon and pad at the same time."
"It's not normal to need to change them every 10 minutes or even every hour."
"An average period is 2-3 Tablespoons, just for reference."
"Sorry if TMI."
"I am one year NED (no evidence of disease)."
"I was diagnosed at 40."
"The main take away is if something is not right, keep looking for answers and the right physician."
"Heavy periods do not usually mean cancer in pre menopausal women, but there is no reason to suffer through them."
"Post menopausal women should not experience any bleeding, one drop and you should go to the doctor right away."- Icewaterforall
If something seems off, or doesn't go away in a reasonable amount of time, it's always best to see a doctor.
Even if you have the slightest doubt.