Doctors Reveal What Happens When A Baby Turns Out Not To Be The Father's Child
Having a baby is a time that is suppose to be filled with joy, anticipation, love and celebration. The co-mingling of two loved one's DNA to create a beautiful new life is a gift. That is unless there are a few surprises that await the delivery... like who the daddy is. Sometimes the delivery can turn into a scene from 'Days of Our Lives.'
Sometimes, you just let the stories speak for themselves.
Reddit user, u/a_13ulge, wanted to know about what could be the most awkward moments ever recorded in human history when they asked:
Doctors and nurses of Reddit, have you ever witnessed a couple have a child that was obviously not the father's? If so, what happened?
50. Girl. We see you!Giphy
Labor and delivery nurse. I have been in on a few deliveries where it is blatantly obvious that the baby is not the from the guy that thinks it's his. How it all goes down definitely depends on the guy. I had one who simply caught me in the hallway and asked if we did paternity testing (no hospital that I know of does this, it's done through other sources).
Also a guy who was pretty chill about it but his family flipped the heck out, screaming, and calling all sorts of names to the mom. Then of course a dad who did all the screaming and name calling. The mom's reactions vary too. Most of them will ask about paternity testing and seem nervous, some play dumb and try to convince the world they weren't sleeping around and don't know who the father is. rn_delivers
49. Don't be Cruel.
My horrible ex-coworker had this happen to her. She was a horrible person for many, many reasons, but one of them was that she cheated on her husband with his best friend. Co-worker and her husband both had extremely blonde hair and light blue eyes, the best friend had thick black hair, dark brown eyes. Everyone knew it was a possibility, and realized as soon as the baby was born. Apparently it was a very awkward day.
The co-worker and husband are still together 16-17 years later, although their relationship is pretty much loveless. They had another baby who was his. Co-worker does not allow the biological dad see the kid, which I think is a crap move.
Husband obviously treats the kid that is his better than the one that isn't, co-worker complained about this constantly when I worked with her, but did nothing about it. It's a really, really crappy situation. The baby is now a teenager and absolutely despises her stepdad, and now has some behavioral problems. REDDIT
48. Deny! Deny! Deny!
Had a friend who was from Africa. He married this caucasian chick that already had 3 kids with this an Asian guy. Few years after they get married, she give birth to a very asian looking baby, who looked exactly like the other kids when they were the same age. The guy kept insisting the kid was his and that he had a paternity test etc.
The funniest part was when his aunt came to visit from Africa and he was telling her about the paternity test during a family/friends gathering and in front of everyone she was like I don't give a damn what kind of paternity test you did, that child is not yours lol. He later had another kid with her who you could tell was his. REDDIT
47. All's Well that ends Well
Probably no one will see this. But my cousin met a girl in rehab. Started dating, she relapsed but was pregnant. Had the child, obviously wasn't his. Signed that it was anyways. 7 years later he hasn't had a drink since then and has had sole custody for 6 years. Loves her and is the best dad. She changed his life. Me0Be0
46. Probably? That's comforting...
Doctor here. I was a medical student rotating on my OB rotation when my wife was pregnant. She went into labor and I brought her to the same hospital where I was doing my rotation. All of the residents and attending physicians taking care of her were the people I worked with every day.
When my son came out, they cleaned him up and handed him to my wife, with me standing there full of emotion, and then my wife turns to me, and in front of all of my colleagues, says "And just think, he's probably yours." purpleddit
45. Thou Shall not Judge... at first!
Not a doctor or nurse, but when my daughter was born she was in some distress and her skin was very dark, as was her hair. She definitely looked non-Caucasian even though my wife and I both are. I was confused for a little bit, but within a few minutes I was sure she was mine even though her color was so strange.
Now it is a year later and she is a very fair-skinned blonde toddler and everyone says she looks exactly like me. I guess I'm saying that judging an infant's parentage based only on their looks right at birth would be somewhat difficult. thejoda
44. Musical Embryos...Giphy
This happened to a friend of mine, but not in the way you're trolling for! They underwent IVF and somehow the embryos got mixed up. Not dad's and neither mom's or the egg donor's. AnneBoleynTheMartyr
43. All for the best?
Not a doctor, but the child in this scenario. My step dad was aware of the possibility that I wasn't his throughout the pregnancy, but he stayed with my mom, gave me his name, and raised me as his own, something I respect him greatly for. My biological father is still in my life and is great friends with both of my parents, so I feel pretty lucky about how everything turned out. storm525
42. Oh Dad. Really?
Not in the medical field, just married into an odd family. About 15yrs ago my baby brother got real sick, was in and out of hospitals and seeing s bunch of doctors. He's admitted yet again FIL calls and asks all the siblings to come just in case. We are the last to arrive, we get there and everyone is dead silent, obviously been crying.
We both think oh crap he died, SO starts to tear up and his dad comes striding towards us tears still tuning down his face and says let's step outside.
He says baby brother is fine but there is something I have to tell you. Turns out FIL isn't really baby brother's dad, nor is he really dad to 3 other of SO siblings. The hospital wanted to run some tests on FIL and step MIL to rule out something, I don't remember what, and they had to come clean. The siblings were 25, 26, 27, and 28 so it kinda screwed em up for a bit. EzzzzzzzE
41. Science will out!
Had a patient diagnosed with breast cancer at 33. No family history of cancer, but because of her age, test for inherited cancer syndromes and find one of the BRCA mutations known to be common in the Ashkenazi Jewish population. We're surprised, but it's not impossible for her to have inherited it and for other family members to have just been lucky so far so we recommend that she talk to both parents and that they get tested (to figure out which side of the family needs to be notified).
Talks to her mom that afternoon and calls me the next day to let me know that Mom shared that she had an affair before she was born. Still had to recommend that her parents consider testing since we couldn't be sure, but yeah, that would definitely explain why her family history didn't line up with her early onset diagnosis. I honestly felt really bad that in top of everything else that she was dealing with, now she had this on top of it all. Goatsatemybroccoli
40. No reason to talk about it...Giphy
So my dad's cousin has raised a boy he knew wasn't his. He even continued raising this boy after he and his wife divorced. The boy doesn't know his dad isn't his bio dad, but he's the only dad he's ever known.
All people in this story are caucasian, so it's not obvious to anyone. But if you really start thinking about it, he doesn't look anything like his dad. whyyesiamarobot
39. The Story Unfolds...
I was at the US embassy in Korea, in line behind a couple getting a birth certificate for their new child. The women at the window asked for a little information about the couple (middle age, white American man and a early 30s Filipino women). As he was telling his story it came out he mentioned that they met 8 months earlier. The baby was currently about 1-2 months old. The women at the counter said something like "hmmm so you met 8 months ago and babies take 9 months."
The man for a second looked really confused and the women blurted out "HE COME EARLY." This seemed to satisfy both the man and the women behind the counter. A few seconds later the women behind the counter said to the Filipino women "so I see you lived in the US most of the last year, what were you doing there?"
The man looked at here and yelled "you were in the US!!!" The women looked around really nervously and the person behind the counter asked them to step into a private room. Sorry if the story was hard to follow. morgan3000
38. Can't deny the Obvious....
My cousin (white, brown hair and blue eyes) and her husband (white, blonde hair and blue eyes) have a daughter who is... not white... has very textured black hair and dark brown eyes.
They have since divorced, kiddo is 11 this year. My cousin, her sister, their mom... everybody insists he was the father, despite her being OBVIOUSLY biracial. REDDIT
37. No 2 Snowflakes are the same...
My niece, Caucasian, Eastern and Western European and her husband, Dutch and Jamaican have two kids. One daughter with skin like Halle Berry and a son who is as Ginger and pale as they come. Biological siblings with lots of differences. So I never assume anything. richardec
36. Keep your opinions to yourself!
My dad once told me about the time his sister had her first kid (my cousin, obviously).
As soon as my aunt took the baby, the doctor looked at my uncle and asked "so when's the father getting here?" Apparently the baby "looked Asian."
In response, my uncle punched the doctor in the face. Maybe a slight over reaction... whitfield9919
35. Such Silence...
I knew this guy that was in a relationship with this girl. She got pregnant and he found out 8 months into the kid being alive that it wasn't his. He decided to stick around and raise the kid since he got attached in those 8 months. Fast forward a few years later, she's pregnant again and baby comes out very dark skinned even though they were both white. He had told me that everybody in the room got dead silent and she didn't even touch the baby for the first day. jaymee_go
34. Not a reason to attack an Innocent Sir!
Nurse here. I have a friend that's also an RN who had a patient in this scenario. Apparently the not-Dad walked out of the room and started to rage. She went over to him to try and talk to him and he punched her in the stomach. She said security tackled him within seconds and got him to the ground. The not-Dad had apparently found out he wasn't the Dad when his girlfriend wouldn't be let him sign the birth certificate? cakejukebox
33. Anything can Happen....Giphy
My sister and I are white. Blonde hair, blue eyes white. I was at the hospital with her because i wanted to be a helpful and caring brother. They wrongfully assumed we were a couple.
She then proceeded to have a black baby. Not a mixed baby, a perfectly healthy, black baby boy. Everyone looked at me super confused but never said anything.
Plot twist: My sister was a surrogate mother for a black couple. The egg and sperm were both from black donors.
Super white girl had a black baby. It happens... grow_something
32. Truth is in the Eyes...
Ill speak for my doctor on this, bless his heart. My husband and I are white. When our daughter was born, she looked very Asian. What people don't tend to notice about my husband because he wears glasses is that his eyes are very Asian looking. So on my discharge morning from the hospital I'm sleeping and my husband is sitting there holding our baby.
Instead of my doctor waking me up he talks with my husband. Asking him why our baby looks so Asian. My husband had to explain that she looked exactly like his baby pictures from his birth. 5 years later she still looks like a female version of him. Which is ok because we had a second baby that is a boy version of me. ihcuwanfs
31. A Baby is a Baby....
I was in the waiting room once at a small hospital in Vermont, there was two people having a baby that day, and one of them went fine, the other had some trouble. The trouble one's father came out talking on the phone, demanding to talk to a manager... I only heard one side of the conversation, but apparently, they had gone to a sperm clinic and had been given a (his words) "Brown man's baby." GonzoMojo
30. Always check the text!
I'm not a doctor or a nurse, but I experienced something like this in my early 20's. We had a house picked out, family and friends were sending us gifts and cards. I was along for all of the doctor visits, and ultrasounds, and checkups, and everything. This was my kid, we were in love, I had no question. Then one day I saw a very suspicious message pop up on her phone... and (against all of my normal behavior) I looked at it.
It was from a guy she had cheated on me with. After a paternity test that they both payed for, we learned the truth and it wasn't my kid. I immediately cut all ties, and haven't maintained any contact. My life is so much more fruitful and wonderful, and I've cherished my independence in ways I simply couldn't before. It was a major happy ending, but boy am I glad I looked at that phone. Snappy_Retort
29. Spitting Image...
This happened to my brother. He broke up with his super-crazy girlfriend, and a couple months later, she started calling him, telling him she was pregnant. He was very skeptical that the baby was his (we all were), because after they broke up, she basically slept with everyone who would. So, we waited for months, so she could have the baby and my brother could get the paternity test.
He was in the delivery room and I was waiting right outside to support him. So, after the baby gets cleaned up from delivery, he comes walking out with this weird look on his face and shows me the baby who looks more like his clone than his son. My brother died when his son was 10 and every time I see my nephew, it's a little shock, because I swear I'm looking at my bro. It makes me miss him a little less, though and my nephew is more like a son to me. REDDIT
28. Bridget Jones? Is that you?Giphy
My father is an OB GYN, so he has some good stories. His latest story is about a women who came to his office with her husband and her boyfriend. They don't know who the father is, and they can't find out until the baby is born, so both men want to be there during doctor appointments and the birth. The two men were surprisingly cordial with each other but I'm betting a paternity test will be run before the umbilical cord is even cut. Racheltower
27. Not the best choice friends...
There was a girl who was 2 years older than us who was a bit... promiscuous. My friend had sex with her at one point, and 8 months later she turns up at his doorstep claiming it's his. My poor friend helped raise this kid for 8 MONTHS before finally getting a paternity test and it turning up that it wasn't his.
This poor young girl has no idea who her real father is, and while the girl I went to high school with has found someone and they seem to be getting by, I cant help but think that she chose my friend because she thought he was the best shot of someone actually raising the kid (she didn't hang around the best crowd in high school). BorinUltimatum
26. $$$ can't buy you class...
Happened to a dude I knew. He got his Gf pregnant just as he was about to break up with her. She was trashy and he came from a rich family. But she was pregnant so he did the right thing.
Turns out that the kid wasn't his so he kicked them both out. Apparently the father of the baby was some poor dead beat. Sweetdish
25. Don't Overact Dad!
Not a nurse or a doctor, but I was the son. Black dad, white mom -- I came out fully white. Dad bailed. Turns out after paternity testing, I AM his. I'm just super white, still am this day. I could pass as Italian or Latino, but I definitely don't look half-black. PNDMike
24. Fooled Us All..
Young couple, I think she was maybe 18 and he was 17. Poor lad was terrified, had worked all hours god sent to make sure everything was ready for his new daughter. His parents, whilst heartbroken, had let his girlfriend move in, had even let them decorate the spare room for the baby. Turns out that when the baby was born she was mixed race. He was absolutely devastated. 25491494
23. 50 Shades of Baby!
Labor and delivery nurse here. Black babies are usually a lot lighter at birth. Not everyone is aware of this, so I've had a few dramatic deliveries where the father looks at the baby and accuses the mom of cheating because the baby isn't as dark. Lots of drama happens on L&D 🤷🏻♀️ tina_bean02
22. The British 'Maury'Giphy
Not a doctor/nurse, but my dad was accused of being the father to a child that wasn't his.
I grew up in a rough 'chav' estate in England, so when you think of the characters in this story, imagine Shameless-style men/women. Anyway, my dad was accused by a woman he slept with (my dad wasn't exactly the most faithful man), that the child was his, even though the child was mixed. The woman was white, and so is my dad.
The case actually went to the Trisha Show (like the Jeremy Kyle show, but older). The test results came out, and shockingly enough, he wasn't the father. We have the recording taped at home and I like it to watch it sometimes, it's honestly kind of comforting in a weird way. I also always thought shows like Jeremy Kyle were faked, but sadly, they aren't (or at least some of them aren't!)
I'll never forget one moment from the show when Trisha asked my dad "do you have any other kids?" and he just smirked. We never really found out how many women he got pregnant in that time, and it's likely I went to school with my brothers and sisters but neither of us knew we had the same dad. I never really found out what happened to the woman or to the baby either, but I truly do hope that baby grew up healthy and happy, and I hope the mother found peace with herself. egliseerosee
21. The Family Tree...
A friend of mine has a good one.
Dad passed out during the delivery and when he came to the nurse handed him a baby girl that was several shades darker than he or his wife. Baby was also apparently conceived under such circumstances that he knew he was the father.
So this guy was walking around delivery trying to figure out who's baby he had. Popping his head into random rooms asking if anyone had misplaced a baby. This continues until he ran into great grandma. Grandma proclaimed that baby girl is the spitting image of her late husband.
No one has ever told him that his grandpa was black. notmebutmyroommate
20. Laughing Away The Pain
Worked in the army hospital on ft Lewis. A woman came in for belly pain and we found out and told her she was 10 weeks pregnant. The husband at the bedside started laughing, grabbed his coat and left the room explaining to us that he had been in Afghanistan until 3 weeks prior. He looked back and her and just said "well that's that Brittany."
I always liked how classily he left her while she just silently stared off into space.
19. Watching A Future That Never Was
I know a girl who was pregnant with her boyfriend's best friend's baby. He found out there was a possibility about a week before she gave birth. I went up to see her once he was born and he looked just like the friend, there was no question. I broke the news to her boyfriend and he was absolutely devastated.
His parents were heartbroken and super pissed. They had bought the girl everything she needed, including a $500 car seat/stroller set. She refused to give anything back.
She started up a relationship with the friend immediately after having their child, and they're still together a decade later. But the the kicker for me has always been that the boyfriend and best friend were next door neighbors.
She moved into his house after coming home from the hospital. So her exboyfriend and his family had to see them basically everyday raising this child that they had believed to be his for the entire pregnancy. I can't even imagine.
Edit: Yes, they did a DNA test right after he was born. The baby was the friend's.
18. Hospital On Red-Alert
I worked as a lab tech before I became a nurse. We had a set of twins in the NICU that were super early and the mom was still in the OR getting sewed up from the caesarean. I was drawing Baby B's blood when mom was wheeled over to Baby A's isolette. She was crying and said, "Oh thank god you're not black! I have been so worried the last 7 months."
So newborn babies, especially when they're born early, are very pink, almost red. So even if a baby was part-black, their skin isn't necessarily dark yet. But looking at these babies, it was obvious they were going to be black. The shape of the face, the texture of the hair.
A few weeks later, my NICU nurse friend told me that the babies were now on a "no-info status" meaning security alert, can't give anyone information about them, can't refer to them by name, etc. She said there was a huge fight because the mom's husband (white guy) obviously noticed that the babies were half black and that mom had cheated on him and got pregnant. The real dad (black guy) came in and didn't realize the mom was even married.
17. There Was Never Anything There To Begin With
I had a vasectomy. While chatting with the doctor, he told me about another patient. This guy had three kids and came in for the snip-snip because he and his wife decided they were done having children.
The doc opened up his sack and found nothing to snip. This guy was born without the ability to have any children. The poor doctor had to explain to him what happened.
Imagine finding that out that way.
16. Peace, Girrrrrllll
Had a college buddy whose fiancee was pregnant. They were the "perfect couple," both had just over a year with great careers starting out, everything was butterflies and rainbows.
Fast forward to the delivery room, they're in there and out comes a very black baby. He's quite the pale redhead, and she's a blonde/blue eyes Texas girl. He made sure everyone was ok, waited for her parents to arrive, and left without saying a word.
He moved all his stuff out of the house while she was in the hospital, and cut off all communications with her, just walked out of their lives in the most stone-cold act I'd ever seen. They were together for nine years, and he just left cold turkey.
She tried to contact him at his job a few times, but he quickly moved up the ladder and eventually got a job in another city. He told me once that he took solace in the fact that her family had already dropped about $10k in a wedding that never happened.
15. 30 Year Guilt
I used to work with a guy whose wife was pregnant. Near time for delivery every one at our place of business had a big party with gifts, money, etc.
So big day comes, water breaks, they get in car to go to hospital. She breaks the news on the way there it's not his, the kid is another race, and if he could just drop her off at the hospital and then leave, that would be great.
He slowly lifted his head to look at me with a painful look. The room was dead silent. One of his workmates stood up, grabbed my arm and walked me out of the room, shushing me. "What happened, " I asked, "Did it die? What's the problem?"
When he told me I about died myself. I still feel bad for the dude and it's been 30 years.
14. Screams Are A Good Indicator
Had a lesbian couple come in.
One of them was pregnant, neither knew.
Judging from all the screaming this information was poorly received.
13. A 25 Year Secret
Happened to my fiancé's mom. His mom is a labor and delivery nurse.
One time she had a patient whose parents were present during her stay at the hospital. The staff there have a white board with some general information about the patients like blood type, time spent in the wing, and like how far along. This information is nameless for HIPAA reasons and instead has a patients number.
So this patient happened to be the only one in the wing at the time. Her father was walking back from the cafeteria at one point, and noticed the board. He stopped one of the nurses and asked if the blood type for the patient on the board was correct (he knew his daughter was the only patient there). It was B+. The nurse confirmed it was correct.
Turns out he knew his and his wife's blood type. He was O+ and his wife was A-. This combination will never yield a B+ baby. He brings his wife out and just points at the board and this look of shock washes over her.
12. When You Just Know
I used to work in the newborn nursery at a hospital. We got the babies right from delivery, cleaned them up, footprinted them, checked vitals, etc. Dads usually came in with the newborns. This dad comes in with this baby. Dad is white, mom is white, baby is very obviously not white.
The dad was very quiet standing next to this baby, watching us clean it up. He says quietly, "I don't think this is my baby." You could tell he was absolutely devastated. We advised him not to sign the birth certificate until he was sure. Not sure what happened after we sent the baby back out to mom, but I felt awful for the guy.
11. And Now, For A Change Of Pace
My aunt is a nurse in the maternity ward. She had a couple come in where they were both very black. Lady has baby and it is white AF. Like, totally pale, no trace of any pigment. They put the baby on her mom and the mom starts yelling about how this isn't her baby and they stole her baby (in all fairness, you can be very confused during/after deliver), just sobbing and freaking out and the father is just sitting there and looks very confused becasue even he's realizing that even if she did cheat, there is no way the baby would be THAT white.
The doctor and nurses are trying to assure her that this is her baby and the skin usually darkens later.
Come to find out, when he called his mom, she pointed out that they have a second cousin who is albino and maybe baby got that gene. Turns out that's what happened- baby was albino.
10. No, No, It's Mine
I had the opposite happen, sort of.
My wife and I are both brown skinned dark haired half-Mexicans and our moms are both 100% white blondes with blue and green eyes.
So we sort of knew it was a crap shoot with our baby, but the nurse who was assisting with delivery had no idea. At one point she gets sort of nervous and calls for help and another I guess more senior nurse came in and nodded and came over to talk to me.
I thought there was something wrong with the baby as she comes over and stumbles through some questions; so I was the father and no one else was coming, etc. Then finally she awkwardly asks if either of us happened to be blonde growing up.
I said yeah I was and both the baby's grandparents are blonde as they come and this wave of relief went over her and she brought me over to see this blonde as hell crowning baby head.
It's funny because he looks just like me if you applied a gringo Instagram filter. We often get awkward questions about his heritage and my wife always hits them with "Yeah we're not sure if he's mine."
It's always funny to see people nod for a moment and then go "Wait what?"
9. High Five, Son!
I'm a nurse but this didn't happen to me. Friend of mine got pregnant in high school. She claimed it was our local doctor's son's kid so he agreed to deliver his grandchild for free.
Child delivered and it was obviously half African American. Doctor's son and girl were both white.
I think he still delivered it for free as he was relieved his 14 year old son wasn't a dad.
I work in anesthesia. One of my colleagues had someone vaginally deliver a baby with "Steve's Lunchbox" tattooed above the "birth canal." The OB/GYN said to the father after the delivery, "Congratulations Steve."
The guy replied that his name was indeed not Steve.
7. It's Time To Go
My best friend was dating a girl and knocked her up. They got engaged, and planned to get married right after the baby was born. There were about 10 of us in the waiting room waiting for her to crank out the baby. It was essentially her parents (his were in another state), some of her friends, and some of ours.
After sitting there for about 2 hours, he walks out with a smirk on his face and says "let's go", we all thought something horrible had happened. Her friends ask how the baby is, and he said "fine, but black".
He motioned for us to go, so we followed him. In the parking garage, he tells us to follow him to his apartment, then sends me a text asking I could put him up for a while. We literally moved him out of his apartment and into my spare bedroom in like an hour tops. Her parents didn't know who to be mad at. The confusion on their faces when he told them the baby was black was priceless.
6. The Timing Is All Off
My grandmother was a nurse. Once she was assisting with delivering a baby and the ostensible father commented that the child looked good for a premature baby. Without thinking my grandmother told the truth. "That baby is not premature."
So I guess I know where I get my social obliviousness from.
5. Someone's Getting Kicked Out
My wife is an RN/Hospital Supervisor. Code Yellow is the code over the intercom for security/large male nurses needed.
It rarely ever happens but every now and then over the speakers you hear a "Code Yellow, Labor and Delivery."
You know the reason.
4. A Long, Arduous Journey
Neither a Dr or Nurse, but a good friend of mine was out of the country on emergency with his work and I ended up bringing his wife to the ER.
My friend and I are (even still) best friends and all of us went to high school together and I had no idea his wife was unfaithful however, I was in the delivery room as she didnt want to be w/o anyone there.
Baby came out.....straight up Asian. I knew....the OB knew. I just walked out the room then. All I could hear her wailing saying her marriage is over and the nurses quickly picked up on why she was crying. I called him and told him the news, he explained to his work that a true emergency was at home so they chartered him a flight home (Saudi Aramco high class action) and he filed for divorce right then and there.
During the divorce out of their 3 kids, 0 was my friends. It didnt just mess my friend up, it messed the kids up as well because they knew him as "daddy".
The Court tried to make my friend pay support for those kids who werent his because "they became accustomed" to it and the dad abandonment was borderline criminal. He had 0 biological attachment.
Family courts are so biased against men. My friend spent a fortune fighting it out of principal and eventually won. It emotionally ruined him and now he doesn't trust women. He wont go on dates or anything because of it. I cant say I blame him but that is beyond f***ed up.
3. Stick To The Lie
my brothers friend was in the army and had a shot gun wedding with a woman he had been dating for a few months, she's white american and he's white Hispanic, the baby came out black. until the results came in she was adamant that the baby was his, she even went to the extent of claiming he was getting her depressed and suicidal and was a bad father because he wouldn't claim "his" child. the results came back and she said the baby was his and the paternity test revealed that was a lie.
pretty much she thought she was going to stay with him for that army money.
2. Dumping Responsibility On Another
Nurse here. Once had a couple come in, just them. The father was black and the mother was white. The father was so involved, so ecstatic about him becoming a father for the second time with this women. Nothing really seemed off, until she started pushing. The baby girl came out completely white, blonde hair and blue eyes. Usually black babies come out a little pale. but this was just straight out white. We had to escort the father out for fear of him becoming violent, but he just sat outside the room, on the ground with his face in his hands. That was one of the saddest moments I think I've ever seen with a father, besides stillbirth.
Odd thing after though, the mom didn't want the baby and wanted nothing to do with the "father", probably out of guilt. So she left the responsibility of this baby and their other 2 year old boy to this man who didn't even question taking on this child.
1. When It Doesn't Matter
Kinda off topic but I gotta give my friend credit for doing some thing I don't think I could ever do.
Found out after being married an having a 3 and 1 year old his wife had been cheating on him. Multiple times, with multiple men. (Everyone is white though so no obvious signs).
Anyway, when he finds that there is the chance neither of the kids is his, he buys two paternity tests.
He brought them home, but then the horrible conclusion hit him.
He was prepared if they were his. He was prepared if they weren't. He had NO idea what he would do if one was and one wasn't.
So he threw tests away. They divorced, she keeps seeing people for short times and he is now remarried to a fantastic person.
There are some questions that illustrate such vulnerability, such open tragedy on the part of the asker that we fend off tears while we come up with an appropriate answer.
Sometimes the question comes from someone who's been so steeped in struggle that they need help understanding that another possible reality exists.
Sometimes it's a question that cuts right to our own core with startling efficiency.
Whatever form it takes, it stops us in our tracks and we're likely to remember it for quite awhile after.
Curious to hear the saddest examples, Redditor julylovestory asked:
"What question has someone asked you that secretly broke your heart?"
Many Redditors responded by sharing the sad questions uttered by young children.
Kids just have the knack for cutting straight through to the essence of it all.
A Tragic Conscientiousness
"As we passed the toy aisle at the store, 'I know you don't have much money right now, but maybe when you get some we could come back and get a toy?' "
"I was not doing well financially back then and my daughter brought me to tears in the middle of the store."
Puzzled and Sad
"First day of preschool for my three year old son. The first time he would ever be away from Mom & Dad at the same time."
"I brought him to the room and expected a meltdown, but instead he confidently strutted, and I do mean strutted into the classroom."
"Three hours later, I picked him up. He was ok until we got to the car when he said, in quiet sad voice 'l thought you were coming with,' followed by an even sadder quieter 'Why did you leave me?' "
" 'Can I wish for my sister?' - A 10-year-old student of mine whose big sister died 4 years ago. We were working on an activity about dreams and aspirations for their futures."
How Bad Must It Be?
"I was like 22 and it was probably 10pm or so at a Walmart. I was on my way to a party and stopped for beer. The store was fairly empty and as I was in the beer aisle, I see this kid completely by himself."
"He was about 5 and at first I thought it was kind of funny because he was trying to pick up a case of beer. I waited like 30-60 seconds, looking around for this kid's mom/dad to come get him. A couple people walked right by him like it was normal, so then I started getting worried. I picked up my two cases of beer and walked over and kindly asked him if he lost his mom or needed help."
"The kid completely ignored the question and instead was thoroughly impressed that I was strong enough to carry two cases of beer. Eventually an employee noticed and came over as well. I told her everything I knew and she took over and told him that she was going to bring him to find his mom."
"As he was walking away he kept looking back at me and I smiled and said goodbye. The kid stopped and said 'can I just come home with you? I don't like my mom.' "
"I was caught off guard so I just laughed and told him the lady was going to help him. Now I'll never know the full story, or what happened to him but the more I think about it - that kid more than likely had a pretty shi**y childhood."
"I mean, the store wasn't busy and it was late at night on a weekday. It really makes you wonder why he was there in the first place, how he got separated from his mom and why would he ask to go with a complete stranger instead of worrying about where his mom was?"
"It still makes me sad. Hope everything worked out for the little dude."
Others talked about the times when they or somebody else realized just how tragic their own circumstances were.
"My ex asked me what I liked to do with my family growing up."
"Made me realize my family never did anything together and I literally had no answer to such a basic question."
Seeing Another Version
"During college, parents took a friend and I out to dinner. Very normal dinner, chit chatted about whatever. After we left and were walking back to my car, he turns to me and says 'Is that what a normal relationship is like?' "
"We talked more after that, I had met his parents a few times and they seemed strict but never seemed to have a terrible relationship. Turned out apparently his dad had cheated on his mom multiple times, dad had zero respect for any of my friends sisters and essentially expected them to do all the housework while the men did 'guy stuff.' "
"Hunting, training for sports, school, etc. Turned out his childhood was pretty fu**ed, dad was never around and he had to essentially be the father figure in the house. As the oldest child, never really saw a normal loving relationship that he could look up to."
"My friend is a really nice guy, still has some messed up views of relationships though. I never realized how 'abnormal' my very normal family/childhood was."
A Better Place
" 'You've never beaten me or told me I couldn't do something. Is that normal?'
"My first girlfriend told me that. I have never felt such a wave of anger, sadness, and heartbreak wash over me like I did when I heard that"
And some people discussed the time a question destroyed their social confidence.
Worst Teacher Ever
"I have a stutter, when I was a kid I had to read a page of a book to the class. I stuttered, and the teacher said 'can you even read' and that fu**ing broke my 13 year old heart."
"No one takes stuttering seriously."
There's the Answer
"When I was 19, I hung out with a cute girl from my high school that I never got to hang with when we were in school. Had a great day together, and that night she asked, 'can we be like secret friends or something? I don't really hang out with people like you.' "
"Never hung out again."
Comparing and Contrasting
" 'Oh, are you the girl with the hot sister ?' " -- JustehOK
"I worked in a department with two Melissas. One day, I was sitting next to one Melissa when we overheard another coworker say to someone, 'have you seen little Melissa?' "
"The other Melissa got kind of a defeated look in her eye and said, 'oh, I'm big Melissa.' " -- EarhornJones
It's a list that's sad enough to leave one wondering about the questions they've received that struck them as particularly hopeless.
Sometimes, though, that vulnerability can be the start of accepting new realities and new possibilities.
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If you live on this earth and you're fortunate enough to form long-lasting relationships with different people, chances are you'll know the pain of heartbreak. It's an unavoidable fact of life.
We are not guaranteed to stay with one person forever, as we were reminded once Redditor disturbance of mirrors asked the online community,
"People whose long-term relationship faded, what was the final straw that made you realize it was time to call it a day?"
"The last time..."
"When she 'broke up' with me for the 12th time.
We had a long-distance relationship and whenever we had an issue or a disagreement, instead of engaging in a conversation with me about it, she would say we were done and shut me out for two or three days before coming back and manipulating me into groveling for her forgiveness. The last time, I just said no to going back and stuck to it. She freaked out and tried to drive 6 hours to my place at 2:00 a.m... I got a call from her mom saying she had left in the middle of the night as a head's up and, upon finally getting ahold of her when she was just a couple of hours away, I was able to convince her to turn back.
That relationship f***** me up for a while but, once I began dating my now fiancee, it was unbelievable to me how wonderful a real, loving relationship with healthy communication can be."
"Her brother was living with us..."
"Mine was not a slow burn like most seem to be, but a very definitive moment.
Her brother was living with us and this was right when WiFi was becoming available to the general public. We couldn't afford it cuz we were broke kids, so her brother would take my GF's MacBook (it was a gift) and sit on a nearby bus bench and leech off someone's unsecured WiFi.
Well, one day we get a call from her sister and she says we need to get home immediately. Turns out some guys came up and asked him for change for a $20 and when he told them he didn't have it they tried to snatch the Mac and jump in their car.
He knew it wasn't his so he held onto it and tried to get it back but they were too much. He had gotten dragged by the car, kicked in the head, and then had his leg run over. He was in pretty bad shape.
As we turn the corner (didn't know what had happened yet) GF sees cop cars and an ambulance and says "This better not have anything to do with my Mac. We walk in and he's visibly in bad shape and she is just immediately "Did you lose my Mac?" I'll never forget his face. He was so ashamed and felt terrible and just started crying. She however started screaming my computer! My computer! And hitting him. To the point where the cops considered arresting her. It was an instant eye-opener."
"I'd sit in my car..."
"I'd sit in my car after work playing on my phone for like an hour because I just needed a break before going inside and dealing with him."
That would do it.
"I would find any excuse..."
"I would find any excuse to work late or sometimes go sit at a bar by myself just to avoid the misery at home. We divorced."
"He was a workaholic..."
"He was a workaholic to the point that I saw him about 6 days per month."
"Somewhere between giving up on small talk and not looking forward to the weekends anymore."
That's no way to live.
"It really forced us..."
"Honestly it was the pandemic. It really forced us to actually spend time together and I realized we kind of just didn't do much together at all. I had spent years thinking it was cool that we kept our own friends and space but once those distractions were taken away it was just really clear to me that we were more roommates than a couple."
"When I realized..."
"When I realized I was needed and not wanted. Constantly trying to make someone happy who didn't want to be happy."
This one hurts. I've been there myself. (And I have also been that person––I thankfully got help.)
"We lived together..."
"We lived together but lived completely separate lives. Basically a housemate I shared a bed with. Happened twice to me so far."
"I would have moved mountains for him..."
"I knew it was over when I cared more about his wellbeing than he cared about his own wellbeing. I would have moved mountains for him if it made his life easier and he just continuously put himself in shi!ty situations. I eventually just gave up. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about themselves. Thank God that's over."
If you think you might be stuck in a pointless or unhealthy relationship, it's worth evaluating your options. And it's never worth sticking around and risking your emotional and mental health.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below.
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There is always that "one." There is always going to be that person.
That person who you will always remember. And when they are the one who you regret losing most... they are the ghost that will haunt you forever.
I have a few escapees. I'll never know how it would've turned out. But that is part of why I'm haunted. I need to discuss....
Redditor u/AssistantNo1733 wanted to discuss all the times we've lost in love by asking:
Who's the one who got away?
Do we even have a clue that they're the "one" that got away? How long until it sinks in? And how do we not know there isn't another "one" coming behind them? I have no answers. Just asking...
The DraftEpisode 1 Omg GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy
"The girl who summoned up the nerve to ask me out towards the beginning of high school. I was so humiliated by the life my family was living that I stalled until she gave up."
"Betsy, if by some stroke of dumb luck you're reading this... I'm so sorry. It was 25-27 years ago, but I still hate myself for that. You were beautiful, intelligent, a good person, and if I had anything resembling a stable, presentable home I would've said yes in a heartbeat... I had a crush on you since 7th-grade 'intro to drafting.'
I Love Her
"Weird, I was just confiding in my mom about this last night. I'm late but for catharsis's sake I'm going to post. My first girlfriend is a classic case of you don't know what you have until it's gone. She's the complete package. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and so kind. We started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 21."
"For reference I'm 30 now. I was an idiot. I wanted to play the field. I wanted to party and hook up with college girls. It was fun at first but after a while I felt this gnawing hole in my heart. The feeling of doubt crept up slowly and still, a decade later my chest feels tight thinking about it."
"I didn't realize until my later serious relationships that getting along with your SO's family is so important. Her mom and step dad genuinely treated me like a part of their family. It's not a stretch to say I literally grew up with these people. I spent some of my most formative years with them. Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, you name it. They celebrated me and my accomplishments. They genuinely cared about me. Just amazing, salt of the earth, lovely people."
"Her birthday was in March and I sent her a text and we ended up talking for a bit. She's happily married and stable with a daughter and a second on the way. I'm genuinely so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I just wish I was a part of that. Sitting at work 10 years later I'm tearing up. I numbed myself out to it for years, it's so strange to me that I've been so stuck on her lately. Is this normal?"
15 Years Later
"My very first real love. I was a teenager and I didn't really know how to be comfortable in myself or with myself. I played silly teen girl games and lost him even as a friend. Now 15 years later I still think about R from time to time. I genuinely hope he's happy in his life."
"Edit: Wow this blew up while I was sleeping. Thanks for all the sweet words and to everyone with their "one" congratulations! I suppose I hadn't looked him up on social media because I'm scared, scared he won't respond, scared he will respond, scared he'll think I'm a stalker. I'm in a happy relationship now, but what if... Etc etc etc. But I'll give it a Google."
Missed You Muchrhythm nation dance GIF by Janet JacksonGiphy
A girl I dated in high school. Went on a date one time she took me out parking and I was too stupid to realize it.
"She always talked about moving away as soon as she got finished with high school. I always thought I would stay in a little town the rest of my life. Turns out I was the one who left and move to another state. Later I heard that she had told someone that I knew that she thought that we would be married at some point. Missed it by that much."
Ok... I've been a bit blind to the light. People can be cruel, but also highly creative. Why not just lead with the truth? It'll always hurt more after lies.
Chuck E.Chuck E Cheese Wink GIFGiphy
"Ah the rare AskReddit question I can answer."
"I met a wonderful woman circa 2013-2015. We worked at what I can best describe as an upscaled Chuck E Cheese. Or ghetto Six Flags. Your choice."
"We hit it off instantly, though at the time I was rather romantically inept. Eventually, she says she's leaving to join the Air Force. I tell her I'll miss her, and wished her well. The thought of asking for her number so we could stay in contact didn't even cross my mind."
"Cue the next day, I stop for lunch on my way to work, and as I'm walking to my car I hear my name being called. I turn around, and it's her, running toward me. Universe giving me a second chance, right? Wrong. My dumb butt still didn't ask for her number. She looked a little upset, and I still think about her often. Desiree, I hope you're doing well."
"He was my first and last love. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met. We bounced around like idiots, on again off again, finally got together mid 20s. We both fell into bad habits - drugs and alcohol, more booze for me, more drugs for him. We had some bad things happen that were pretty detrimental to staying sober. We would split, reconcile, get sober, fall off the wagon, split, etc... repeat as necessary. We realized we were very bad for each other unless we could BOTH just get sober for ourselves, and split."
"Ten years later, I was sober for 7 years (still am, going on 18 years end of this month, actually! Woo, go me!) and he was beginning to come back, sober about a year. He contacted me, we met, talked about trying again. He said that once he had been totally clean for a year, we'd do it. That whole "Don't make any changes for a year" thing. I would visit him, tho, things were good."
"He woke up one morning feeling bad, thought he had the flu. (This was pre-now) I stayed around because he was sick, but neither of us thought he was drastically bad, just the flu, right? He got worse and worse, finally we called an ambulance because he got up from a nap and couldn't breathe. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Aortic dissection."
"He got away, but someday I'll see him again. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We just weren't good for each other."
Ce la vie...
"My most serious Ex."
"Don't think I truly understood love until I met her. Loved her more than I ever thought I could love anything. It eventually ended when she told me that, through no fault of my own, she had fallen out of love with me. That was 2 years ago, still hurts to think/talk about."
"Ce la vie..."
"I'm in the middle of trying to avoid that right now actually."
"It's not worth the heartache trust me. I fought to stay in a relationship for an entire year. If I would've just let her go the first time she wanted there would've been a lot less pain. We would've left on good terms. I would've lost a lot less sleep. Rip the band-aid off because once the band-aid starts peeling it's inevitable it'll fall off with time."
Sweet...Kim Tate Eye Roll GIF by EmmerdaleGiphy
Damn man why bring this up.
"My ex and I broke up over 3 years ago. Mutual breakup through a lack of communication on both ends I feel."
"Thought I was over that hill until this week she messaged just to say hey and ask an innocent question. We text for the best part of the day and it's brought up a lot of old feeling. Feeling pretty bitter sweet right now."
Love is a mess. Why even bother trying if you can't be true? It's not hard to just spell out the situation. And if you're the one needing to put together the words... look closer. The dialogue shouldn't be difficult.
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What are the odds you'd click on this link today?
What was the biggest coincidence that made you question the fabric of reality?
There's small coincidences, occurrences so minute that you wouldn't even notice them if you weren't paying attention. However, once someone makes a big deal out of them then there's no other choice but to acknowledge that what just happened was spectacular.
Each Having A Buddy Coming To Town
"My friend and I were on a road trip a few years ago and needed a place to stay. We both told each other we had a friend in the city we were going through, so we figured we'd be able to crash with one of them. Turns out our two friends were roommates and had both been telling each other that they had a friend coming to town soon."
What's That Got To Be? A 1 in 1000 Chance?
"Several years ago I was at a coffee shop with some friends and one of them had an ipad, another friend went to unlock it and asked him what his 4 digit unlock code was, so I just blurted out 4 random digits pretending like I knew it, and it actually worked. I had never unlocked it before or knew of the same numbers being used for anything else, or his phone number, etc."
Both Probably Assumed What The Best Time Was
"I passed out after receiving a flu shot when I was 28. The nurse who helped me up kept asking if I wanted my mom. It seemed like a really weird thing to offer an adult woman - the option to have her mother phoned and brought in - so I was really confused and getting progressively more annoyed at her repeatedly asking...
...until my mom walked up to me. She had the appointment after mine to get vaccinated. The nurses assumed we had come together, but neither of us knew about the other's appointment, and we lived an hour away from each other in different cities."
Living in such a big world can lead you to the conclusion that math is silly and odds are never in your favor. With over seven billion people roaming around, chances of meeting someone of significance?
Less than you think.
A Simultaneous Love Of Traveling
"This guy I went to grade school and high school with, an acquaintance at best. I've seen him in 5 different locations in different countries throughout the last 15 years.
Disney World when I was a kid.
Some beach bar in Thailand.
The Bean in Chicago.
A pub in Budapest.
A library in San Jose, Costa Rica.
We've become friends due our love of traveling, but neither of us post on social media and neither of us communicated with each other our plans to travel. We never talked outside of the random meetings. Now if I see him, its like the world wants us to have a beer together. haha"
"I Mean, The Crash, Yeah, But How Have You Been?"
"My dad lives in a national park here in Australia. It's farmland that's grandfathered in. It's the remnants of a volcano that blew itself up very violently, so it's very hilly terrain.
One day we were sitting out on the deck, when we see a hang-glider come down halfway down the valley, and it didn't look like a nice landing. "Sh-t, we better see if he's alright, they don't land anywhere near here"
So we get in the car, drive for about 10 minutes to reach the spot. We head over to the guy who is standing by a very damaged glider. The pilot is staring at us incredulously, he stammers "F-ck, Jack, is that you?".
My dad, who hasn't seen his childhood friend for 35 years shouts "F-ck, Tim, is that you?".
They both grew up in Greymouth, NZ. Found each other randomly after a glider crash in NSW, Australia."
Takes A Wedding To Bring People Together
"My wife and I were looking to hire a caterer for our wedding and when we met, my wife and her started talking about their lives a bit.
Turns out they had both literally grown up on the same street, in a city of 10 million people, on the other side of the world. Both had left the city around a decade before immigrating to our current country.
They knew the same people, had hung out at the same coffee place, attended the same church. They even used to grab mangoes off the same large tree that hung over the wall of one of the large houses in the neighbourhood.
But they had never met one another until meeting on almost the exact opposite side of the planet, in a small town of about 50,000 people."kor_hookmaster
What we can gain from these experiences is a coincidence will occur more than you think, you just have to have the eyes sharp enough to spot them.
But how would you explain these?
Position Is Key
"I dialed my mum on my mobile when I was on public transport and accidentally swapped two numbers around.
The person I called was on the same carriage."
"Go on, tell us what happened then!"
"So I was listening to my phone and at the exact moment it started the ringing sound I heard a phone start ringing and I thought it was a coincidence but then the phone answered and it wasn't mum.
All I said was "Oh, are you on the Upfield train?" and they said "Yes, who's this?" but I got shy and I hung up.
Poor guy must have been so confused."
Universal Echoes Bringing You Closer Together
"One time, me and my dad were discussing his friend while out driving at night without many other cars on the road. As we were talking, we pulled up to a red light, and the car waiting in front was my dad's friend. He didn't even live close to there."
Extremely Unlucky Odds. Go Buy A Lottery Ticket.
"A couple of years ago I was visiting my hometown and decided to sit on a bench at my favorite park. As I was sitting, I felt something land on my head. Bird poop. After heading home and washing my hair, I went back into town. While I walked around, I watched as a guy got hit with a drop of sky sh-t. As I was laughing about the apparent irritable bowel syndrome of the birds in my town, a bird flying right over me drops a fat sh-t on my head."
There's no magic at play. All of these happenstances can be explained away with simple math and rudimentary probability.
Still, it's fun to live when you're in the moment.