Daughters Reveal What They Wish Their Dads Knew About Girls While Growing Up
Being a parent is hard, it can be even harder is you are totally clueless about major aspects of your child's life.
Reddit user @dogidoga asked:
For tons of people out there, the Daddy/Daughter dynamic comes with a few speed bumps. The question was initially posed to the women of Reddit, but a surprising number of men chimed in as well - turning the whole thread into more of a conversation than an endless list. The responses actually turned out pretty enlightening. And, it shows that you can raise a child without the blue or pink stereotypes.
Treat Them Right
The way you treat your wife/girlfriend can teach how I'm supposed to expect men to treat me.
- Elodea
This is why I have changed tactics with my youngest daughter. Instead of being the father that cleaned his gun, or sharpened his knife when the boyfriend came over, I decided that the best way to help my daughter make smarter decisions about boys is to treat her mother with love and respect.
Sure, my wife annoys me at times, but I don't lash out at her, I don't insult her, I have never raised a hand towards her in anger. I raise my voice, but that's more because I am going deaf and don't realize that I am raising my voice, I have never raised it in anger.
We need to teach our daughters how men should be treating women. Not making threats against guys that want to date them. It doesn't look good for us as fathers and teaches them that violence is an acceptable path.
"Boys Don't Like Fat Girls"
How much what he said (or didn't say) mattered. It still bothers me that he didn't tell me I looked pretty either time I was all dressed up as bridesmaid in my friends' weddings and I still remember him saying "boys don't like fat girls," or words to that effect a few times.
Never Embarrass Me
GiphyMy dad was a high school teacher that taught at a really good school. As a teen, I wanted to attend the school my dad taught at but he and my mother insisted I attended a different one that was apparently "of a better standard". It wasn't until years later my mother admitted to me that the reason I was put in a different school was because my dad didn't want me to get teased by other students about him or feel embarrassed by him.
I wish my dad knew he could never embarrass me.
Love you daddy. R.I.P
As a teacher I'm at the cusp of the same thing with my oldest. While the majority wouldn't tease her for who her father is as I'm well liked enough by my students, it would affect her social and school life.
I wouldn't be able to let her friends over if they're from the same school because we're required to do a heap of formwork for that. Can't take her friends home with us for sleepovers etc. No parties at my house because I'm a mandatory reporter for underage drinking (that will exist regardless unfortunately for her). Her teachers can just call my staff room right after a lesson if there's a problem.
She's a good kid and I don't want her ability to grow and make friends and engage respectfully with her teachers to be compromised by the fact that Daddy is the crazy science teacher at the other end of the school.
- Xuanwu
Gender And Interests
I liked trains. He apparently was really sad when my gender was revealed and I was a girl. He wanted a boy to play trains with and I was the last kid they were going to have. Youngest of 3 girls. I liked trains. My mom would buy toy trains and train movies for me to play with, and I would play with them for hours, but my dad never saw me playing with them because when he got home from work, all I wanted to do was play with my dad, and he didn't typically use toys to play with me. He would just teach me cool stuff, or tell me jokes and stories. He played using his voice. If I had known he wanted to play with trains, we would've had a blast.
- Avbitten
As a father of 5 (two girls three boys) I've learned gender bias is generally wrong. My oldest two, girl/boy, were pretty typical but the younger three not so much. My youngest daughter collects hot wheels just like her brothers even if most of them are pink or purple. However she's the first to be in the mud, on the tractor or under the hood of a car with me- Usually asking me to paint a car pink or purple. She's her mother's princess - but she also seeks opportunity on any challenge, any day, and doesn't see the world as pink or blue.
My second son loves Unicorns and pink. My youngest son loves dance class which is 95% female and started his Littlest Pet Shop fascination this year.
Today's chore is to haul firewood from the big stack to the smaller porch stack. Usually about a Rick of wood when we re-stack closer to home in prep for storms later this week. I've got $20 says she earns it alone first before her other two male siblings charged with the task this afternoon... before her double dance classes tonight.
These kids earn cash for every "extra" non-daily chore around here and she earns 7/1 to her brothers on tasks some who consider outside of normal gender bias all the time. 12 yr old wants a new video game and here she is "I could buy it but..."
She's 10, Tiny, Blonde Barbie/Cheerleader, almost flighty at first impression fun loving 1000% typical A-Crowd girl in school but she'd change a college boys tire on the side of a highway faster than he can call Road Service.
It helps to pay attention to what your kids love regardless of gender. I'm old, I don't want to stack firewood anymore LOL.
Hormones
We can be angry without it being hormones.
Honestly, as a guy, I will NEVER treat any emotion or opinion as, "She's just hormonal"
You deal with everything with sincerity and reason, because anything else demeans the person you're talking to. It is the other person's responsibility to identify when they are being unreasonable and "just hormonal", if that is indeed the case, and let you know how severe this issue is.
I don't know if this has a word for it, but in the legal-world, this is called 'negotiating in good-faith'.
The Boy You Wanted
That I'm not a boy, and it hurts immensely when you spend more time with the neighbor's son than you own daughter because I'm not the boy you wanted.
I just wanted healthy kids.. and I got that. Now, i did make them do Ninja Warrior stuff and we played war with water guns, so I got to play as well. My youngest likes dolls, so i show her some cool WWE moves with them.
Raise Her Strong
Tell her she's strong and raise her to be it, treat her like she's the strongest person you've ever met. It will make her believe it, and there's no better way you could protect her from the world, when you're not around, than by making her believe in herself. Nothing meant more to me than the day my dad, the strongest man I know, said he admired my strength.
Accept It
Accept the fact that your daughter will eventually need OBGYN visits, birth control, and will participate in dating and sex at some point. You don't have to be happy about it but please don't shame me or make me feel ashamed that I enjoy being human. I have to leave the room or wait for dad to leave in order to call my OBGYN office and I'm 23 years old.
See, as a dad to a little girl, it's just hard to accept that all of that will happen. Not because of "norms" or sanctity or some antiquated way of thinking - it's just that they're all signs that my little girl isn't so little anymore.
For most dads, it's just hard to accept - not something we willingly fight, but something we willingly don't want to admit to ourselves. Sure there are others that have very antiquated ways of thinking but not all - hell, not the majority.
I dreaded the day my daughter (six years old now) would tell me she had a crush at school, and I jokingly acted like I was not happy at first, but I let her know immediately after that having a crush is normal and acceptable.
I dread the day that she has her first period, but I know I'll start packing pads in her backpack when she turns 10 just in case it happens when she's in school.
I dread the day I have to take her to an OBGYN or fill a script for birth control for her, but I know that day will come. Same as the day she tells me she's sexually active. But I know the one thing I have to do is accept it, as hard as it is when that day comes - because I know as hard as it is for me, it's doubly hard and embarrassing for her.
But if there is anything threads like these that pop up every so often have taught me, is that communication is key - and having open lines of communication with her, where nothing is off limits, will allow her to have a better life and make better life choices (where she can learn from my and my wife's mistakes and observation (wisdom?) without having to make the same mistakes herself).
So for all the fellow dads out there - don't be afraid to communicate with your princesses. And for all the princesses out there, don't be afraid to communicate with your dads - these things are new to us too, and we're always going to be afraid of accepting the fact that the little girl we held in our arms for years is growing up.
- Jsanc623
Some Vagina To Guard
I'm jealous of all that time and money you spent on my brother and getting to know him as a person. I wish you'd just treat me like a person, not some vagina you felt the need to creepily guard until I got married.
- Zombombaby
Fathers have a strong instinct to protect the family, especially the women. It's just something you can never truly understand as a woman.
We Notice
That we notice when he would do some semi-creepy things like stare women down on the street (he was married to my mom for 40 years.) I wish he knew how I internalized a whole bunch of stuff from it. It was creepy on a general level...but to do it in front of your daughter like she doesn't see you just made it worse. Maybe that's lame, but it is genuine.
- durachok
Brushing Hair
How to brush hair. When I was little I remember crying every morning before school because my dad would just take the brush and practically rip my scalp off. All he would say was "sorry I don't know how to do girl hair"..ouch.
What's the secret. [6 and 3 yr old girls] Lol. I've tried wet brushes. Detangles. Best I can do is hold it and brush is small sections. About 2 more days away from going and grabbing one of those toy hair dressing heads for practice.
- DJToca
Periods Can Be Bad
GiphyHow bad periods can be.
My dad thinks that a period is all about blood, but never understands that I go through an awful pain while on my period.
- mehgrill
I learned this from my first girl friend (16) and she was blowing chunks in my bathroom sink. I asked what the hell was wrong, and she explained to me her period started. I was blown the away. I ended up going to the store to get Mydol which I learned came in several different types and I bought them all. I don't recall if I had to buy pads, but since we're married now I have done so. Having an older sister who I was close with I knew it caused problems, but I was not aware of the extreme levels of pain that can occur.
Because You're Family
I love my dad, he's really great, but I wish he hadn't compared my relationship with my brother to his relationship with his own brothers. It's awesome that my dad and his brothers got along, but my brother bullied me relentlessly, and having my dad constantly telling us that we were supposed to get along because we were family made me think that something was wrong with me.
This List
Kids aren't action figures. You don't get to mold them to be whatever you want them to be, and you don't get to vicariously live your fantasies through them.
PMS is a real thing that affects some women, but it only occurs for a few days at a very specific point in the menstrual cycle and it's more likely to produce feelings of fatigue/depression/anxiety than feelings of anger/irritability. When you blame all female emotions on PMS, it's both scientifically inaccurate and tremendously invalidating.
Pay attention to the media your kid consumes, and don't dismiss or ridicule girl-oriented media. Girls crave female role models, so make sure your daughter gets exposed to female characters in something other than love interest/princess/celebrity/caretaker roles. Seek out media where female characters are problem solvers, adventurers, and leaders.
Don't act like feminine things are shameful or boring. Don't be the dad who stays out in his car during his daughter's ballet class because sitting with the dance moms is too embarrassing. Don't be the dad who refuses to buy pads/tampons at the grocery store. Don't be the dad who says that women's sports are low action. Don't be the dad who lavishes time and attention on sons while ignoring daughters. Kids are smarter than you think, and they pick up on stuff like that.
F*ck that sh*t. I was in there every week, every single week. I hemmed recital dresses, did hair, etc etc etc. I'd do it again tomorrow. This whole thread is so frustrating to read...no wonder women are always feeling less than enough and second guessing everything. Sorry for the rant but every single person who has posted at feeling less than good enough, I'm sorry for you that your father wasn't up to the job.
Hair Ties
Not to use plain rubber bands as hair ties. F*ck that hurt!
Ouch... As a guy with mid-back hair I don't even like the hair ties with the metal bit in them as they catch in my hair.. Rubber bands are... Umm.. No....
Can't Control It
That we cannot control our periods.
I came home from school when I was ten with one of those fevers from the flu where all you do is sleep someone has to wake you up to remind you to eat and drink and use the bathroom.
Well all of this was about 3 months after having my first period and most women at least, I'm sure a few men might too, know how irregular they can be during that. Well while I was asleep I started. And (TMI WARNING but it is important to the story) I tend to bleed somewhere in the Oh My-God-I've-Been-Shot range. Now I wasn't expecting to start obviously so I had no pad on or anything. I'd been asleep for a couple of hours Dad woke me up to give me some more meds and I got up to use the bathroom, in there I quickly realized that I had started as most of the crotch area of my jeans was soaked in blood. A few seconds after that dad started yelling at me from the living room. About half the blue couch cushion is now dark purple.
I can barely stand I'm already very sick and now I'm crying, so he makes me change pants get in the truck drives me to the country store down the road and go in and buy myself pads or tampons. He doesn't want to go buy them because he thinks they are gross and he doesn't want to even be seen accompanying his daughter to buy them.
Now I'm ten, I have no idea what I'm supposed to really buy because I've only had 2 periods at this point and I'd just been using moms pads from home. But we were out of them at home and she went a couple towns over for groceries and other things. I don't have a phone to call her I'm crying I'm bleeding through the second set of pants and I feel so weak I'm holding on to the shelf to stay up. Thankfully a really nice lady who worked there helped me and helped me back to the truck.
He was yelling at me the whole time saying if I was going to start I should have been more prepared and put a pad on or used a tampon or something. How I should have known better than to bleed on the couch and how I should have gotten up and used the bathroom when I felt the bleeding. Mom got home and absolutely tore him a new one and gave him some menstruation knowledge while she was at it.
You found me! Let me know here.
People Break Down The Dumbest Thing Someone's Ever Accused Them Of Without Any Evidence
When on trial for a crime, no matter how great or small, you are still innocent until proven guilty.
Sadly, when it comes to your friends, family, or bosses you may not be presumed innocent and might find yourself scolded for a missing piece of clothing or technology, forgetting to close a window, or any number of menial, inconsequential things.
In spite of the fact that you, in fact, didn't do it and there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that you did.
Nonetheless, whether their judgement is clouded by frustration, or they were simply looking for a reason to scold and yell at you, you still might find yourself at their wrath.
Even if you can't help but giggle at what you're being accused of.
"What’s the dumbest thing someone accused you of without any evidence?"
You Expect Me To Use This?!?!
"My mother-in-law accused me of buying a sh*tty brand of hair spray, leaving it in our guest bathroom for her to use, and trying to trick her into thinking it was hers."
"She actually brought it to our house the previous time she visited and left it behind. It was totally hers."- thecooley
He Must Have Run Quite The Distance...
"Throwing stones at her goats."
"I would not throw stones at goats, but she went to my mother’s house and accused me."
"She said she had just chased me off after I did it."
"My mother told her that, if that is what she saw, then she would punish me the moment that I got home, if she would like to wait."
"My mother supplied her with tea and biscuits and, later, a light snack."
"Offered her a stronger drink, too."
"After a long time, the goat lady asked if my mother had any idea what time I would be home."
“'Well, he has only been gone a week, so another two weeks, I imagine'.”
"My mother replied, as I went to a boarding school and stayed away for three weeks at a time."- Pedantichrist
Goat Bleating GIFGiphyMaybe She Planted A Bug?
"A college roommate reported me to the campus police for selling drugs."
"She stated that she was in our dorm room and overheard me selling drugs to another student in the laundry room."
"Our dorm room was on the 12th floor, laundry room was in the basement of the building."
"She got pissed when campus police laughed at her statement."- MissConduct0120
How Dare You Not Break The Law To Help Me!
"I once had a co-worker write to my manager to complain I was racist because I wouldn’t pirate a copy of Norton Utilities and give it to her."- Yorkie_Mom_2
Wrong Ex, maybe?
"One time I started getting a bunch of texts from an ex accusing me of being on a trip with some other girl and throwing all kinds of insults my way."
"Not only was she my ex and I was not talking to her or planning to reconcile, so that if I was in fact on a trip with some other girl it was none of her business, but I was actually literally sitting on my couch with my dog watching TV."
"I told her I hadn't the slightest idea of what she was yelling about and sent her a picture of me and my dog in my living room."
"She replied, "F*ck," and I didn't hear from her for weeks until the crazy ultimately outweighed any embarrassment she felt."
"To this day I have no idea why she thought I was on a trip in the first place, especially since her texts were pretty specific and she mentioned where she claimed I was and other details."- Tough_Stretch
Work From Home Dog GIFGiphyCould Have Been Worse?
"I was accused of throwing a potato at a shed, totally not true."- bobbejaan79
They Were At Least Half Right...
"Insubordination for failing to report in to work for over a month."
"I resigned a month earlier."- Fifth_Wall0666·
Wrong Place At The Wrong Time
"I was in either first grade or kindergarten, and the chain link fence on the side of our playground had fallen over / caved in."
"Me and my friends looked at it and wondered how it happened."
"Then a teacher came by and yelled at us for breaking the fence and we all got put in time-out for the rest of recess."
"WE WERE 6, HOW WOULD WE MANGLE A CHAIN LINK FENCE WITH OUR HANDS?!"- Rabid_Chocobo
buster keaton fence GIF by MauditGiphySome Might Consider This A Compliment...
"In High School, half the school thought I was Gay, and the other half thought I was a vegetarian."
"I'm neither, and I have no idea how the two related."- Group_of_no_one
When All You Were Doing Was Trying To Help...
"One day when I was in 5th grade a female collie followed me home from school."
"I walked around the neighborhood trying to find the owner, but nobody knew whose dog she was."
"I left my neighborhood and crossed a four lane."
"I carried her so she wouldn't get hit by a car (I didn't own a dog leash)."
"After knocking doors and asking around, I had to go home but she just kept following me."
"I picked her back up and carried her back across the four lane, put her down and we walked another block."
"Then the owner pulled up, stopped in the middle of the intersection, got out of his car, and called her."
"She ran to him, and hopped up in the car."
"I told him I'd been trying to find her owners for hours."
"The old bastard said, 'Yeah, someone saw you carrying her'," implying that I stole her."
"Then he plopped his fat a** back in his Cadillac and sped away."
"No good deed..."- TheC0zmo
border collie dog GIF by Rover.comGiphyPunished For Being Poor
"Being a thief because I was a student."
"Money was going missing from the tills in the bar I worked at on some evening and weekends."
"Walked into work and got called out back with the manager."
"Was told money was missing and was suspended there and then."
"I asked when this money went missing and it wasn’t even when I was working!"
"I asked why I was the prime suspect and the managers wife pointed the finger at me because I was a student and therefore must have needed the money."
"About a week later the actual thief was caught red handed putting money from the till into his pocket by the manager."
"This was back the mid 90s so no cameras to view, which would have cleared it up straight away."
"Instead, they cast blame with evidence that actually proved it couldn’t have been me because the times the money went missing, I wasn’t even there, but hey ho."- idiBanashapan
Clearly, these hasty accusers must never have heard the saying "let he who is without sin cast the first stone".
Sadly, it's sometimes easier for people to just place blame as fast as they can.
Even if evidence and logic are not on their side.
Movies are meant to make us feel things.
What those things are is intimate to each individual.
Art shines a light on the here and now.
And no art or film is better at that than documentaries.
Thanks to the golden age of television we are inundated with documentaries.
They give us a glimpse into real life.
And real life... is horrible.
Some documentaries leave more nighrtmares than Michale Myers.
Redditor CoatedTrout4 wanted to discuss the documentaries that have made us feel uneasy, so they asked:
"What Are Some Disturbing Documentaries?"
I've been SHOOK by far too many documentaries.
But they are so important.
Unreal
"The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez :( heartbreaking and so upsetting as the audience learns about how many opportunities this boy’s life could have been saved."
SandwichMore1508
"Sixty complaints were filed against the abusers between 2005 and 2012. Sixty. F**king. Complaints. Teachers called social services. A family called social services. Police officers reported it to their Sheriffs, risking their jobs in the process. And yet nothing was done. It's unbelievable. I can't wrap my head around it."
elizabethbennetpp
Two of a Kind
"Tell Me Who I Am. It’s about two twins, one of whom lost his memory after an accident at 18. They unravel a dark secret that only one remembers. Worth a watch but really dark."
Crab-Dragoon
"It's crazy how you can look at both of them. The one with the memories looks so tired and worn in the eyes, the other doesn't have that same look. Then there's that moment you realize you were so wrong with your assumptions of the story."
Ajwuvsu
"I know, it's really sad. It was nice to see that they otherwise seemed to have a great relationship. I can see how having those memories while your brother did not make you bitter."
Crab-Dragoon
Obsessed
"Abducted in Plain Sight is strange. Man is obsessed with a friend's young daughter, kidnaps and 'marries' her twice, somewhat with the parent's consent."
"I heard about it in a similar Reddit thread a few years ago. Available on Netflix."
rock_and_rolo
"When the parents went to press charges and the ole boy said 'Press charges and I'll tell the press how I had sexual relations with both of you' so the parents DROPPED THE CHARGES because apparently - their reputation was more important than the well being of their daughter. What a bunch of bulls**t. That girl deserved so much better."
josims88
In the Wilderness
"Grizzly Man by Werner Herzog. It's about bear enthusiast Timothy Treadwell who went to live with Alaskan brown bears during the salmon spawning season. It's only slightly disturbing, but it is fascinating.
PeteyMax
"I remember getting increasingly frustrated with this guy the more I watched this - especially when he would treat the other animals like pets, change the water flow after the rains, and basically give the middle finger to the park officials when they told him he had to move after so many days to you know... avoid potentially getting attacked/eaten."
"What was really interesting was how this guy's friends/family thought he was doing so much good, and everyone else who was interviewed said he was doing the opposite."
bananasareappealing
This is why I only sleep in at home and in real buildings.
Trauma
"The Act of Killing is pretty wild."
Sundazed
"The Look of Silence. Family of the victims watching The Act of Killing and decide to meet the killers."
Lexlexleeee
"I was a therapist for survivors of war trauma for years. This movie was fascinating and horrifying. I hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about the torturers, just the tortured. But most humans are not equipped for hurting others. This knowledge is reassuring and mortifying."
"There isn’t a lot of free will to be exercised in a war. War is a meat grinder, it’s just disgusting every time. There is no justification good enough, no glory, there’s just the propaganda machine of war. We’re not meant to kill each other. How dare we ask others to kill for us, then bring home the survivors, call them heroes, but shame and silence them when they tell us how they suffered following the orders they were given."
madestories
Return to Sender
"Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father is a devastatingly disquieting documentary."
Both_Feed_601
"It's just so disturbing because the woman was so obviously unhinged, and she was continually allowed access to the child."
DamnGoodOwls
"Yep and as soon as I said this guy has a great friend, I hope his son appreciates what his friend is doing for him. I wonder where his son is now, then you get the bombshell, and I was pure seething rage at that moment."
NE_GBR
No one knew...
"There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane."
Kelsburger2go
"While I'm fairly certain that her husband and sister-in-law are mostly pushing the she had a medical issue, no one could have seen this coming narrative to reduce liability in the subsequent lawsuits, my major takeaway from this doc was just how many people have no idea that their loved one is an alcoholic."
"I'm an alcoholic, and for the majority of my active addiction, no one knew. I drank mugs of red wine first thing in the morning from the 4L box I kept by my bed. I did shots of whiskey before major presentations to keep myself loose. I can tell you with 100% certainty that if you met me during that decade, there was no way I was sober. I worked in finance and did client meetings/presentations eight hours a day, five days a week."
"And I was so incredibly drunk the whole time. No one knew, and I know this because when I got sober two years ago, multiple people who had spent significant amounts of time with me during my drunk years were shocked that I thought I had a problem - 'You only drink on weekends!' No, you only saw me drink on weekends."
"Alcoholics don't all wander the earth falling over, slurring, and pissing their pants. For some of us, we just get what we need to survive the day and make sure nothing can stop that from happening. Like letting pesky family members who could cut us off in on the secret."
"ETA: If you need support in figuring out your relationship with alcohol, r/stopdrinking is a great place to start asking questions."
archersarrows
Manipulations...
"Tickled was pretty f**ked up."
CliffMcFitzsimmons
"Cannot believe I had to scroll this far down to see this. This documentary is insane. It has such a simple premise, then it gets weird, then it gets weirder, then it gets downright scary, and by the end, you are made painfully aware of how easy it is to manipulate other people’s lives and their public perception if you have enough money."
yakayummi·
Hell on Earth
"'Killing Fields,' the movie documenting the slaughter of millions of Cambodians at the hands of Pol Pot's people. Skulls, pelvises, and spines lying everywhere in the blood-filled ditches. The purest form of Hell on Earth."
D**kpuncher_Dan
"Late to the party here, but if you can find a copy of A Cambodian Odyssey by Dr. Haing Ngor, grab it with both hands and don’t let go."
"Dr. Ngor played Dan Prith in the movie, but he himself has the most amazing and tragic story of surviving the Khmer Rouge. Made it to America, won an Oscar… and was gunned down in LA. I treasure my copy of the book."
LadySiren
Appalachia
"The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. Follows the White family who just completely neglects their kids, the parents, rampant drug and alcohol abuse, and attempted murder. It’s a sad look at the daily life of severely impoverished folks in stereotypical Appalachia."
InvalidUserNemo
SHOOK
Oh No Wow GIF by The Great British Bake OffGiphy"Evil genius, is a true crime story of a pizza man who robs a bank with a bomb around his neck. He is a victim of some very disturbed people."
Suzzert
"I was shook by this one. I love documentaries and am rarely really affected by them, but this one did it. Just knowing that you are going to die and no one can help you. And we see it unfold in front of us… chilling."
marabouxroux
Documentaries are too much.
I need fiction.
People Explain Which Books They Read In School That They'd Never Let Their Kids Read Today
CW: graphic depictions of novels.
When I was in eighth-grade honors English, our first book of the year was Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. Unlike with other books, our eyes didn't glaze over as we read. In fact, we were enthralled.
We were very invested in the characters, we all cried at the end, and even though the book didn't have a happy ending, we bonded through the sadness and were still happy we were able to read the book.
My mom, who passed on her love of reading to me, always read the books we were assigned for school. She hated this one.
While she could appreciate the story and understood it was a product of its time, she thought the story, especially the end, maybe a bit inappropriate for students my age. She was not the type to make a stink about things, but she let me know her feelings.
My mom's opinion was not all that unique. There are lots of parents who weren't always fans of what their kids had to read for school.
Sometimes it's because they would've liked their child to be a little older when they read a particular book. This was my mom's complaint about Of Mice and Men. Other people don't think particular books are appropriate for school at all.
Those people took to Reddit to share what books they read in school that they wouldn't want their kids to read in school today...at least, not until they are a little older.
It all started when Redditor masterbuildera asked:
"What book did you read in school that you would never want your child to read?"
The Horror
"My 5th grade teacher read the Stephen King short story Survival Type to the class. For those who haven’t read: the narrator / mc is a drug smuggler who crash lands his plane on a deserted island. He ends up doing all the heroin he recovered from the crash and cannibalizes himself. We didn’t know at the time our teacher had early onset dementia..."
– iamtommynoble
"Holy sh*t! I was in my mid 30s when I heard that story(was listening to the audio book) and was cooking dinner. Had to save all of the food for later, no way I could eat after listening to that. I can't believe a teacher read that."
– pop_skittles
Obsolete
"“Microsoft Publisher 98 for Dummies”"
"Seems kinda pointless at this stage."
– CuppaMatt
"imagine dragging your tik tok watching kid trough that today"
"lmao 💀"
– TheVoidKilledMe
Questionable Choice
""A Day No Pigs Would Die" was pretty rough in 6th grade. Basically Charlotte's web with HAUNTINGLY graphic depictions of animal husbandry and slaughter. I don't remember getting a lot of value out of it at 11 years old, just pig-blood soaked nightmares lol"
– BizarroBuffalo
...*Shudders*...
"I recall being in 6th grade and a fellow student writing a book report on an erotic novel she had read about an extremely overweight man collapsing on a sex worker while mid intercourse and she rips off his jaw and uses it to sever off one of his limbs and get out from under him."
"I remember being 13 years old and thinking “this is pretty f*cked up for a 13 year old.”"
– Silvertongued99
"Holy crap. Yes, that’s a bit much. In that vein, Flowers in the Attic and the rest of the series."
– Pinkbeans1
Too Early
"Maybe this isn’t the question, but I read A Child Called ‘It’ as an elementary aged child. I bought it at the school’s Scholastic Book Fair, and was maybe 9 years old. Why on earth they thought that was an appropriate book for small children to be purchasing and reading, I will never know. The 90’s were a trip."
– YaBoyfriendKeefa
WAY Too Early
"I was in a gifted class and we read 1984...in the fourth grade. Great piece of literature, but maybe a titch intense for nine-year-olds, y'know?"
– Bratbabylestrange
Father Knows Best
"The Kite Runner....my dad saw me pick that up at a book store when I was in the 7th grade and he said no, I wasn't allowed to read that till I got older. Me being the rebellious little sh*t I was convinced my friend to buy it and we took turns reading it. Yeah that book is not for kids....I learnt some things that day :("
– Severe-Experience333
Unrecovered
"I read The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns in high school, they were trauma in paperback form."
– bananaphone92
"A thousand splendid suns BROKE my heart. Beautiful book, but traumatic."
– bakedNdelicious
"Same. Read it in college undergrad actually and was destroyed and cannot imagine how my emotional maturity would have been affected had it come out a few years earlier. Still one of my favorite books and authors of all time. Haunts me to this day."
– abeshius
Bonded
"I know it’s weak, but the ending to Of Mice and Men really messed up my 13 year old brain."
– usernames_are_danger
"My English class read it together (taking it in turns to read aloud) when I was 16 and it was a lovely experience - we hated it at first, and then by the end we were invested, and a bunch of people cried - including the cool girls who usually sat at the back giggling. My friends and I read ahead and knew the ending. We didn't spoil, but we were smug about knowing what was coming!"
"Probably a bit heavy for a 13yo though."
– Lornaan
"We read the stage version at my high school, not as homework but as a sort of "table read" where we went around the classroom with everyone taking a turn to read a line/lines."
"I don't think I'd ever seen the entire class so invested in something. Not just kids approaching my own level of nerdiness, but everyone - even the troublemakers and barely literate kids. It kinda blew my friggin' mind. And then, when we finished the story (over the course of a few classes, I think), we all suffered together through the ending. Trauma bonding, yaaaay!"
"Honestly, that book was probably the only worthwhile book in our curriculum, as far as I can remember."
– Eleventy_Seven
Easy As 1, 2, 3
"Advanced Mathematics."
– SamuelVimesTrained
"A lesson book on calculus now that's hell"
– ToruMiz
"There are 3 kinds of people in this world:"
"Those that understand math, and those that don't."
– edlee98765
Personal Battles
"Was given The Things They Carried in HS and had nightmares for weeks because I had a brother overseas in combat at the time. Part of me never wants my kids to read it because of how much it negatively effected me, which I know isn't a good reason. I do think it is a worthwhile book but it will always, always make me uncomfortable."
– readyplayer_zero
The Wrong Message
"Hear me out, this is a weird take:"
"Cyrano de Bergerac"
"Not because it isn't a good story, it is. But because I think high school boys get the wrong message from it and it fuels this incel, neckbeard fantasy of "I am truly special, and I will pursue this woman until she realizes how special I am. She only likes that other guy because he's cute, it definitely isn't that I'm an a**hole." I don't think that's healthy for them, I think a lot of them don't get that it's satire because it's in middle english."
"I'm not saying they can't read it, but it shouldn't be required as part of the curriculum either (it was for me at least)."
– Nik_Tesla
"I’d go nose to nose with you about this one. (Not really, you’re right and make good points.)"
– tasareinspace
Not A Kid's Book
"I still wish I hadn’t read Where the Red Fern Grows though…cause I haven’t stopped crying and it’s been 25 years."
– jdino
"I was assigned this as a first grader. Apparently the teacher hadn't finished the book to know how truly traumatic the last chapter is. Plus the boy that bleeds out (that blood bubble on his lips always stuck with me). I reread it recently and cried so f*cking hard"
– gallopingwalloper
"I remember in I think my freshman year (hs), one of my friends who isn't a reader wanted a book suggestion when we had to pick one from the library. One of the first I looked at was Where the Red Fern Grows, I recalled it being good and gave it to him. Teacher refused it because it "was a kid's book.""
"I mean yeah, but f*ck you, no."
– Rectal_Fungi
Oof! Yeah, that one was a hard one to get through.
What do we really know about famous people?
Not much if we're honest.
But that doesn't stop us from prying into their lives and dissecting and destroying it.
It feels like society needs to have people to build up and tear down.
Is it that we all need an enemy?
Or is it just another form of reality tv?
So many people, celebrity and non-celebrity have been heaped on with vitriol.
Their lives often take a downturn.
Then in hindsight, upon re-examing, we learn maybe society went too far.
And those people too were just trying to survive.
Redditor wild-wolf-woman wanted to name the people we all may owe a few apologies to, so they asked:
"What famous person didn't deserve all the hate that they got?"
As a Madonna fan.
I'm livid with many people.
She didn't deserve any of the trash thrown at her.
Kevin
Screaming Macaulay Culkin GIF by Home AloneGiphy"Macaulay Culkin."
"For Redditors old enough to remember, the young Home Alone star got a bunch of hate for being a spoiled brat when he sued to divorce his parents."
"The truth of the matter is his father was a physically abusive a**hole, and his parents were going to take the $15-20M he earned from acting and leave Macaulay with nothing."
happy_snowy_owl
In Vienna
"Ignaz Philipp Semmelweis"
"He was a Hungarian physician and scientist, described as the 'savior of mothers.' He proposed the practice of washing hands with chlorinated lime solutions in 1847 while working in Vienna General Hospital's First Obstetrical Clinic, where doctors' wards had three times the mortality of midwive's wards."
"Some doctors were offended at the suggestion that they should wash their hands and mocked him for it. In 1865 he allegedly suffered a nervous breakdown and was committed to an asylum by his colleagues. In the asylum, he was beaten by the guards. He died 14 days later from a gangrenous wound on his right hand that may have been caused by the beating. His findings earned widespread acceptance only years after his death, when Louis Pasteur confirmed the germ theory."
SuvenPan
She Deserved Better
"Lindsey Lohan- overworked and used by her parents."
HRPurrfrockington
"Was looking through the comments to see if Lindsey Lohan would be mentioned. not to mention the disgusting behavior of the media and the public in regard to her addiction issues. that one David Letterman interview with her is almost unbearable to watch. she deserves a huge apology from the world."
clownteeth222
Good Guy
"Guy Fiere is in the same vein. His entire career is giving small businesses a national platform and boosting them up, hiring folks most others won't, and being a huge advocate for LGBTQ rights (including officiating gay weddings) but because his shirt is on fire and it looks like he got electrocuted by mountain dew that spun his glasses around, everybody is so mean to him."
A_giant_dog
"He also goes out to disaster areas and serves food to emergency workers. He was here in Santa Cruz County during the 2020 CZU Lightning Complex Fire serving free food. Genuinely cool guy."
adventureremily
Chill
f. murray abraham amadeus GIF by MauditGiphy"Salieri. Pretty chill dude. Mozart's biggest supporter. Lent him his librettist so he could write Figaro. Took care of Mozart's kid after he passed away."
veriverd
"That's a damn good movie, though. But it also does him dirty as well."
MajoraOfTime
That movie. That play. Those people.
The best and worst of drama.
Let her sing...
friday rebecca black GIFGiphy"Rebecca Black got death threats for her song Friday. It's just a song, an annoying one, but just a song guys."
EMdesigns
Shocking Truth
"Parents of Azaria were ridiculed and hounded by the press and the grieving mother's statement became a pop culture reference. They were accused of murdering their child. Many years later it was finally proven that a Dingo had, in fact, eaten their baby."
Stinkyminge123
"Lindy Chamberlain was, in fact, found guilty of murdering her child and sent to jail for a number of years. Her conviction was overturned, and it's now accepted that a dingo was responsible."
"However, jokes about it are still made. I can't imagine how awful it must be to have the world laugh for decades over your child's horrific death."
brownhedgehog
Blame it on the Rain
"Milli Vanilli. They were a late 80’s R&B duo who were 'exposed' for lip-syncing their music during a live performance on MTV. In reality, the two members Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus were capable singers and performers, but their record label didn’t allow them to sing on their records or during live performances. They had signed their record contract in German, a language neither of them spoke, and actively fought with the label behind the scenes to sing and perform their own songs."
"After being 'exposed,' they were forced to relinquish their Best New Artist Grammies, and their label toured the actual singers as 'The Real Milli Vanilli.' The media backlash was severe, and Rob Pilatus fell victim to addiction. He overdosed and died in the late 90’s."
"Rob could speak German. Most of this information is from a Fab Morvan interview, and when he said he couldn’t speak German, I wrongfully assumed neither of them could. My mistake."
HomePlastic
Poor Mama...
"Mama Cass Elliot."
"She was an absolutely beautiful, intensely powerful voice. But because she was... gasp fat, in the 60s-70s she was bullied relentlessly by the media."
"She died of heart failure and a random doctor said she 'could’ve died choking on a ham sandwich.' The media just dropped articles that that is how she died. If there is any reason for me to despise older generations it’s how they treated Mama Cass."
holyerthanthou
They Tried...
anakin skywalker GIFGiphy"Hayden Christensen, who played Anakin and the child actor of Anakin. They both got sooo much hate... and I still don't get why."
TheDudeOnHisRug
We really need to do better as a people.
So much judgement.