
Dating shows occupy such a strange space in the broad array of television. On one hand, everyone lampoons them as fake, drama-obsessed monstrosities that are a waste of time.
And yet, so many of us keep tuning in year after year.
So it goes without saying that plenty of us are rather curious about what exactly is real, what is fake, and what else is going on behind the scenes.
Thankfully, at least a few Reddit users are also former dating show contestents. And they were happy to oblige and share their experiences.
Redditor Fartfartfart69 asked:
"People who have appeared on dating shows (naked attraction, first dates), what's it like behind the cameras?"
Many people, of course, talked about how fake and scripted they were. But it was still interesting to learn how they went about the faking.
Good Practice
"I was an actor in the 90s/00s."
"Our agency supplied actors to dating shows. We had three people pretending to be in a love triangle, being sad and emotional and angry and whatever, and we watched a recording of it in our classes, including the three in question, laughing at the sheer... well, falsehood of it all. It was basically improv. I actually didn't know until then that the contestants were faked."
"I guess real people do apply, so perhaps they use a mixture of real applicants and stooges to pad out other episodes."
-- Woodcharles
Be Moody
"I don't speak Spanish fluently, but one time I appeared on 'Doce Corazones' (12 Hearts), which is a Spanish language romance show where a woman has to choose from 12 men to date. (Living in Southern California, where it's filmed, and a Spanish speaking friend of mine dragged me to the set when they had a last minute cancellation and needed someone to stand in lol.)"
"Anyway, the gimmick of the show is that each of the 12 guys has a different zodiac sign, and I guess that's part of the host / matchmaker's recommendation to the woman. I didn't really understand what was going on, but they didn't care what my actual birthday was. They just told me to pretend to be a Sagittarius for the show. I made it to the second round (the woman didn't kick me off immediately, much to my surprise lol)."
"When she asked me to describe myself, I just kind of said "you know, I'm a nice guy who likes having fun" or something ridiculous in my high school level Spanish. It was a silly but memorable experience. Wish I could find it on YouTube. It would have been 2005 or 2006."
-- Jscott1986
Perhaps Not Always Scripted?
"A girl I went to high school with was on Married At First Sight, and she said it was mostly scripted and edited to make her look super bad because people 'love the drama.' "
"Except, I couldn't tell it was edited. That's just how she was. Anyway, she's engaged again. So it obviously didn't make her look too bad."
A New Man
"Had a non-actor friend on MTVs 'Next' in the early 00's as one of the three suitors on the bus. I watched the episode and the banter didn't sound like him at all."
"I asked and he said 'every single word out of my mouth was scripted.' "
Others discussed the less sexy aspect of life on the set of a dating show: the long, drawn out logistical requirements of putting together a network television show.
Long and Expensive
"A friend was on the Irish First Dates. She said everything took ages. They had to get there early and wait for hours to be called, they were told to take a toilet break during the date so they could be filmed phoning someone, this took a long time as they had to change microphones, afterwards they had to wait around to be filmed talking about the date. "
"They were given €20 towards the meal and had to pay the rest themselves. The taxi afterwards is just for filming purposes and drops them off round the corner, they have to make their own way home."
-- spodokomodo
Scheduling
"Not me, but my best friend was on First Dates (Dutch one). There was a lot of waiting, I think he was there for 4 hours in total. Had to eat a 3 course meal at 12 in the afternoon."
"What I thought was also funny was that the shot of them walking towards the restaurant is shot way before the actual date. So they are not walking towards their date, they just approach the restaurant and then go back to the waiting room."
"Restaurant"
"I was at first dates (in the Netherlands) as a date for in background. You arrive at a large empty room with the rest of the background date people and then you have to sign some stuff. I couldn't wear color or a print, that was too much of a distraction, and the attention should be on the real participants."
"We saw the participants in the same empty room but we couldn't talk to them. Then we went to the restaurant, which was a small tv studio. It looks big on tv, but is was really small. There was no music at all, because they had to edit the footage later. They told us to speak loudly. The food was good and the waiters were really nice. (Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language)"
-- DeZilk
And some shared a few unexpected gems. After all, a reality television set is a workplace like any other: full of flaws, bad people, good people, and boredom.
On Call
"Good buddy of mine was on a Bachelorette style show. He was drunk most of time. They used the lavalier mics to have PAs restock whiskey and replace kegs more than they used it to record actual audio for the show."
"It was interesting to see parts of his 'story' being told as sweet and kind man, but as a good friend I could just see the drunk on his face on a lot of his dates/interactions. He ended up winning. They also NDA'd him to hell and he refused to talk about the show in any capacity until a year or so after it aired."
-- tdjustin
Gotta Pass the Time Somehow
"Crews bet on everything. If it's a competition in any way crews have money flying all around it. Only producers keep out of the betting rings."
"This goes for basically every reality show."
Puppet Masters
"I got married in one of the first episodes of Don't Tell the Bride (I was the groom). The producers were f**king awful. Because it was the first season, they hadn't quite figured out the rules, what I could / couldn't do. They also lied to me on numerous occasions, manipulated things, tried to provoke me into angry outbursts on camera. I refused to play ball."
"I stayed calm but in truth it was the most stressful four weeks of my life. I lost a stone in weight over that period. The final edit was also full of lies and manipulation through editing. As it was a BBC production I had higher hopes, but it was a private production company who had zero ethics or duty of care. Would definitely not recommend it to anyone else."
-- TVnomics
At least now if you ever want to become a contestant, you know exactly what you're getting yourself into.
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Many people live by the mantra that ignorance is bliss.
It's true, how being left in the dark about influential pieces of information is preferable.
For example, being cognizant about a co-worker's questionable private life can adversely affect how others interact with this individual if they object to their tendencies outside of the workplace.
Not knowing certain things can be freeing, a notion that was explored when Redditor Distantmole asked:
"What’s something you really wish you didn’t know?"
These Redditor examples are based on an occupational hazard.
Printer Expert
"How to fix a printer. Sometimes, I just play dumb when I'm asked..."
– jfincher42
Undervalued Employee
"I was the ONLY one who knew how to unjam the printer at my old job. And it was a lemon - it jammed at least once a day. I quit the job because I was overworked and unappreciated. My replacement left in less than a year. I hope they're suffering without their little resident unjammer. Thanks for letting me vent."
– KidsTheseDaysYknow
Parents are people too, and you wouldn't be here were it not for them.
So there's that.
The Origin Of You
"I know exactly where, when, and how I was made in grand detail. I have no idea why my parents felt the need to tell me this, but I now know and I wish i didn't."
– stitchmidda2
Making Waves
"I was conceived in a waterbed in my parents’ old condo. My dad told me when I was 15…"
– the_crystal_onix
Pulling Back The Curtain
"My father photographed all the births, me and my siblings."
"Each of us had a photo album growing up."
"They started with the photos of our births."
"My father took photos of us coming out.... of the vagina."
"This is the first page of my childhood photo album."
"Checkmate sir."
– joejill
Too Close For Comfort
"My parents told me they conceived my younger sibling in a tent with me and my older sibling while we were sleeping in the same tent. I did not need to know that."
– arkayer
You think you know everything about the members of your family.
However, some things about them are better left a mystery.
Grandma's Tactic
"Was on a vacation with my grandma in a shared room and she disappeared into the bathroom for 5 minutes, came out, I didn't think any of it and didn't care, and she came up to me and said."
"I have bad constipation right now so I shoved a bit of soap in my butt to help softening it up! Maybe I'll fart bubbles soon, he he!"
"That happened 6 years ago but it's burned into my brain."
– dinanysos
The Family's An Open Book
"Didn't need to know the reason I'm mums least favourite child and I certainly didn't need her to tell me what colour my step dad's pubes are. Didn't need my Grandparents to tell me that they had sex the night before on the couch I was sitting on or my grans favourite position."
"Also didn't need to know my uncle only has one testicle or that my dad was in the room when my cousin was conceived. My family is far to open lol."
– scruffadore
Infinite Capacity
"If you find an unlabeled videotape laying around burn the f'king thing just in case."
– Trav3lingman
The myth of mammals.
Scary Fish Tongue
"There is a parasitic isopod that gets inside a fish’s mouth, severs the tongue, and lives in the fish’s mouth acting as a replacement tongue."
I wish I didn't know about as Demodex or eyelash mites.
Oh, you didn't about them?
Prepare to have your mind blown.
There is a community of mites living in the pores of our faces.
Ever wondered why your face randomly itches when there's nothing visibly making contact with your face? That's because these little stubby boring worms–that are a distant relative of ticks and spiders–are having a party inside your fleshy dwelling, and they are grateful for its host to extend the welcome mat.
You're welcome.
Americans often drop popular sayings in conversation that have some element of truth to them.
You've undoubtedly come across phrases like, "Kill two birds with one stone" or "it's raining cats and dogs."
While those are used to describe actions, like the state of the weather, there are other phrases that are dispensed as words of wisdom to help individuals through a challenging situation.
But the endeavor to console someone by using this tactic is not always effective.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Braca5 asked:
"What popular sayings are bullsh*t?"

These sound familiar?
The Survivor Mentality
"whatever doesn't kill you just makes you stronger."
– WhenTardigradesFly
Vanity
"Looks aren't important."
"It's true. They don't always or entirely matter, but they do. That's kind of how superficial humans are."
– Ok_Chain821
Not Every Pain Heals
"Time heals all wounds."
– sweetechoes2008
"There's another one that goes like this 'time heals nothing, it just replaces memories.'"
– Fulcinnamonroll
The stigma around this is so foul, the guilty will lie about their offensive crime.
The Gas-Leaker
"He who smelt it dealt it"
– MrGeekman
"Whoever said the rhyme did the crime."
– Neoptolemus85
Psychology Around The Guilt
"The irony is it's almost always the opposite that's true. Most people would rather just be quiet about a fart than try to put it on somebody else and as it is you usually become pretty accustomed to your own and probably don't even smell half of the ones that slip out so likely the person who dealt it is going to be one of the last to actually consciously smell it."
– Vanilla_Neko
Playing by the rules doesn't always get you places.
Playing Dirty
"Cheaters never win."
– MadAsH3ll
"A better saying:"
'Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it Treason.' John Harington (1561 - 1612)
– Suibian_ni
Comeuppance Never Comes
"What goes around, comes around."
"Bullsh*t. I've seen people be jerks my entire life (I'm 57 y/o) and they never got what should have come around to them."
– Feels2old
Thing About Karma
"Worse, it's an excuse to not take responsibility. A few years back, I had discovered a nasty person who was fooling the public by buying dogs from Amish auctions of out of state, bringing them, unvaccinated, across state lines, and pawning them off on the public as 'rescues' but also taking loads of donations when she was not registered as a charity. She was not using the funds for medical care. The gal was a flashy blonde in designer clothes and knew how to fool people."
"The county authorities were investigating and needed more evidence. I approached the owner of a local pet supply store where she operated her scam and asked him to cooperate. He banned her from the store but completely refused to cooperate with the investigation. Excuse, 'Karma will get her.'"
"B*tch got off with just a fine when she would have faced animal cruelty charges."
"Karma? No, it's not a thing."
– ShowMeTheTrees
Those who adopt a passive way of thinking end up making up for lost time.
Turning A Blind Eye
"Out of sight, out of mind."
"Ever lost track of a spider?"
– Samuelabra
How Much Time Do You Have?
"Good things come to those who wait."
– P13r15
Lond Distance Relationships Aren't For Everyone
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
– Quirky_Mongoose_401
I think those who say "if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life," is debatable.
Depending on the situation, being forced to do something you once loved so you could earn a living can potentially breed resentment.
I'm a former dancer who absolutely lived off the adrenaline of performing on a stage. But when the cast I was performing with at a theme park was forced to do the same rigorous show five times a day–sometimes in intense heat–I was miserable.
Once, I severely twisted my ankle mid-performance simply because I was physically exhausted but continued giving it my 100% when my body was ready to give out. That's when most performance-based injuries occur.
That phrase certainly got a second hard look from me back then.
No two people share exactly the same likes and interests.
But on occasion, one might find themselves being among the few, if not the sole members of a certain fan club.
Indeed, while Cats earned a place on the list of the worst movies of all time, its 19% score on Rotten Tomatoes suggests that there are a handful of people who actually liked it.
Or while many people dread having to clean their homes, some simply can't wait to get started, and will look for any and every opportunity to do so.
Redditor StardustNova_ was curious to hear where members of the Reddit community found themselves in a distinct minority of appreciation, leading them to ask:
"What's something you like that the vast majority people hate?"
You've got me all tied up in knots!
"I love untangling things."
"Your Christmas lights end up in a ball and there’s no telling where it starts or ends?"
"Give."
"Got a necklace that got rolled up into a total mess?"
"I’m your de-tangler."
"Headphones come out of your pocket looking like a Tangela? "
"No problem!"
"Total zen for me."
"Wish I could make a few bucks with it tho."- Not_Jo_Mama
I'm all ears!
"People that talk a lot so I don’t need to."
"I like listening to them & I find their energy refreshing."- krasavetsa
Jet setter!
"Everything about the airport."
"Idk why but it’s so fascinating."
"Honestly I like it more than the trip sometimes lol."- abigailgwhitney
"The cold never bothered me anyway"
"A Winnipeg winter day where there's not a cloud in the sky or a breath of wind, but it's so f*cking cold out your nose hairs freeze together every time you breathe."- FakeLordFarquaad
When life gives you lemons...
"Apparently a lot of people don't like the lemon/yellow starburst candy, and that's the one I prefer."- mermaid_with_pants
Sudsy, soapy dreams...
"Doing the dishes."
"I find it so calming."- shakensunshine
The gift that keeps on giving.
"Wrapping presents!"
"It's super therapeutic and relaxing to me."
"I'll wrap everyone's presents in the house, even the ones they have to give to other people!"- happygoose2022
Sweeet and sparkly!
"Fruit flavored sparkling water."- suitcaseinherhand
Can't dive too deep!
"Writing essays."
"I got addicted to research when I was in college and something about putting everything together to present a coherent argument is just exciting for me."- ILoveFoodALotMore
It's always interesting to hear the thing which would make some people groan with misery that would make others cheer with glee.
Nor should always look down on someone for loving something you absolutely hate, as they could help you wrap those presents you've been putting off because you hate it so much.
And who knows, maybe Cats wasn't as bad as you remembered...
It's usually a good feeling to be "on top".
To be found at the top of the list of a notable or unique accomplishment.
Though having the distinction of being in the top 0.1 percent of something might not always be something to brag about, resulting in some keeping this distinction to themselves.
If only because some people might be unusually fascinated by their so-called "accomplishment", that they'll never stop being bombarded by questions.
Redditor ImLostInTheForrest was curious to hear if any members of the Reddit community believed they were in the 0.1 percent of anything, be it commendable, bizarre or unfortunate, leading them to ask:
"What’s something you believe you may be in the 0.1% of?"
A mighty heart indeed
"Scars on my heart."
"I have about 30, I think."
"On my 4th heart procedure, I had 24 cardiac ablations."
"They use radio waves to kill tissue to create scarring so that effectively signals can't travel through that way."
"During one procedure, epicardial, meaning both inside and outside the heart. by the top electrophysiologist on the east coast."
"He said only one other patient of his had more done in one procedure."
"Took 10 hours."
"I could hear the nurses gossiping about me in the hallway."
"This was 7 years ago, and now my heart is working great!"- pearlie_girl·
Extremely comfortable in my skin
"Half of my body is a birthmark of tan skin, and the other half is pale white."
"It's right down the middle of my stomach and same with my back."
"I've only ever seen 1 person online with it saying 'chimerism' but idk if that's same with me."
"Idk but it's uncommon." - User Deleted
Still standing!
"Still living with stage IV lung cancer for 13 yrs."- Flashy-Cattle-8086
Big shoes to fill indeed...
"Shoe size."
"I wear a size 18."- wearegoodthings
Love your job!
"Don't know if it's less cool because I do it for work, but I 'photograph' atoms and crystalline atomic structures most days."
"I get to see the world in a way few ever do which is kinda neat."- RayseBraize
An exclusive club no one wants to be part of...
"I have this condition called Miyoshi Myopathy, which, thankfully, affects only my calves and hence my walking capabilities."
"My doctor told me it is rare, but tbh statistically rare does not really mean anything, everyone might have it but they either did not get out of their way to test it, via taking blood and had it examined in a lab, or they just never realized there was something wrong at all."
"If you are wondering why I said 'Thankfully it only affected the legs', it is because it is a muscle disorder, and some disorders affect Cardiac, heart, and Pulmonary, lungs, muscles that will obviously not be pretty."
"I have to get tested every year to make sure all my vital functions are normal and as of now nothing significant is noted and I should be living a long and healthy life."- 1123Icantthinkofname
Just one?
"Apparently only 0.1% of people become mechanical engineers in the US and an even smaller percentage are women, so maybe that?"
"I was also less than 2 lbs when I was born, and I think the percentage is probably similar."
"I somehow have no lasting physical issues from that, though my sister has cerebral palsy."- s_p_o_c_k
Plenty to go around!
"I have 3 functional kidneys."
"No it doesn't mean I pee more."
"No it doesn't mean I can drink more alcohol, thats the liver."
"No I won't sell it for under $71,241." - User Deleted
While some wouldn't necessarily consider some of these things an accomplishment, all of them certainly make for fascinating conversation starters.
Seriously, where would the third kidney even go...?